Summary: A WHN for Escape To Ponderosa

Rated: K  (3,270 words)

Surrender To Your Fate AKA The tale of a bullheaded brother and his keepers

Hoss watched as his Pa and Joe left with Captain Bolton. For a moment he felt a twinge of regret for not being able to join them, but when he turned Adam was cautiously rubbing at his aching forehead. His elder brother looked worn out and was barely holding on to consciousness now and Hoss knew his father had been right. His brother needed some rest.

“Come on Adam, let’s get you upstairs then you can lie down while I bandage you up.”

With the intention to lend a helping hand, Hoss grabbed Adam carefully under the armpit. However, before he could pull Adam to his feet, the elder man freed his arm resolutely out of Hoss’ grip.

“Thanks, but I can see to it myself,” answered Adam with as much firmness as he could muster. Inwardly he just hoped this was true. He hated it when he had to rely on someone other than himself.

A brief expression of surprise flickered across Hoss’ face and Adam braced himself for some sort of protest which he expected to come. But instead his brother stepped aside and gave him his head.

Adam felt a little worried to have zoned out when his father left the house and Hoss’ sudden touch had startled him. He hadn’t even noticed when Hoss came over to where he sat until he’d felt his brother’s hand on his arm. The uncoordinated movement he’d made to shake his brother off had caused a sharp pain to run through his head. Irritated Adam crinkled his brow. He hated this.

Hoss watched his brother in silence. He didn’t agree with him. But Hoss wasn’t going to argue with Adam about his condition, not in the mood his brother was in. Hoss had learned a long time ago that Adam didn’t like to be fussed over. However, one good look at Adam told him his brother would need his help anyway, at least, if he wanted to reach his room without doing more harm than already was done.

And Hoss was known to be a patient man. Some things were not worth the trouble, he thought. Especially, when he knew it was only a matter of time till Adam would come to see it his way. Generously he took a step aside. “Sure, go ahead if you think you can do it on your own. I’m not going to stop you.”

With the challenging words hanging between them, Adam stood up. His jaw set with sheer determination to prove how ‘well’ he was. “You know, Pa didn’t mean it literally for you to get me to bed,” he joked ironically, and offered Hoss a tense smile.

In the same second a wave of dizziness washed over him, the world started spinning, and he swayed on his feet. It was only when he finally tilted that Hoss’ strong hands gripped him tightly and steadied him.

“Thanks,” Adam mumbled exhausted as the dizziness slowly passed. “I think I’ll let you give me that offer of help before you have to carry me.”

Slightly embarrassed, Adam was beginning to feel like a fool.

“Sure. I knew you would come to your senses sooner or later.” For a brief moment amusement sparkled Hoss’ eyes, before he became solemn again. “Let’s get you settled then.”

Hoss led his brother carefully up to the stairs. Due to Adam feeling as lightheaded as he did they made slow progress. Once they reached his room Adam was more relieved than he wanted to let on. However Hoss wasn’t easily fooled. He knew the signs when Adam felt nauseous and guided him safely to his bed. Only when Adam was safely sat down did Hoss turn away.

“You can change while I collect a bowl of water and some bandages for you.”

Hoss left the room without as much as a backward glance to give Adam some privacy. When he returned a few minutes later he was pleased to find his brother actually in his nightwear, covered up and leaning against the headboard of his bed. He looked pale and his eyes were closed.

“How you doing?”

“I’ll be fine as long as I take it easy,” Adam confirmed quietly.

Hoss nodded, remembering Adam wouldn’t ever admit how he really felt.

“Yeah, thought so. When I’m done you can go to sleep. It might help to settle your stomach and stop the dizziness. I’m sure you’ll feel much better afterward. Even the double vision should be gone by then,” Hoss said with a reassuring smile.

“How did you know?” asked Adam in bewilderment while he looked at Hoss through squinted eyes.

“Awww… Come on Adam. How long have we known each other? You’ve suffered from concussion before and you always end up with double vision for the first day or two,” Hoss declared while he took a seat at the edge of Adam’s bed.

He handed Adam a wet towel so he could clean himself up a little. Adam’s face and hands were still dirty from the dusty ground where he’d laid while he’d been unconscious. When Adam was finished he moved a little closer and turned his head to his brother, resigned to the inevitable. Hoss gently probed at the wounded forehead and the injured ear before he went on and treated them both thoroughly. With a grunt of satisfaction he finally took the bandages from the nightstand.

“You’re lucky you have such a granite head. Don’t like to think what else could have happened to you,” Hoss mumbled affectionately while he covered the wound with a long strip of cloth and began to wrap it around Adam’s head.

“Hmmm,” agreed Adam absentmindedly and found it difficult to concentrate on more than just the soothing sound of his brother’s voice. The injury was clearly taking its toll now. But it didn’t matter anymore because Adam felt comfortable. His eyelids were getting heavier by the minute since he’d given up any resistance.

In Hoss’ company it was easy to let go because in his presence Adam always felt like he could just be himself. Hoss understood him most of the time better than any other, sometimes even better than their father. Even during their childhood they’d barely had any disputes. It was really difficult to raise a quarrel with someone who had the ability to hold his temper like Hoss did, unlike Joe where nearly every disagreement had ended in a fight.

The boy had really given Adam a hard time in the past; especially after his return from Boston College.

Back then Joe had argued against almost every one of Adam’s decisions or orders. Hardly ever did the boy just say yes when Adam had wanted him to do something. Adam had hoped it would get better with time, but during Joe’s teenage years his behavior had only grown worse. For this reason Adam always felt he needed to stand his ground and couldn’t allow himself to show any weaknesses in Joe’s presence.

Fortunately they were getting along very well now. Over time they’d managed to rebuild their brotherly bond again. However, old habits die hard and every once in a while they would clash. Adam often thought it was because they were just too much alike.

Hoss worked in silence while he completed the dressing, sensing Adam’s weariness. When he was finished he slowly stood up. Noting his brother was already half asleep he whispered in a hushed voice. “Adam…Come on now, slide down. You’ll sleep this way so much better, rather than leaning against the headboard.”

Adam obeyed, although he didn’t open his eyes as he turned with a soft sigh on his side. Hoss carefully adjusted the covers and tucked them in. Then, before he quietly left the room he drew the curtains closed and with the door left ajar, Hoss went downstairs to wait for his Pa and Little Joe to return.

**********

“Hey, how did the chase after the escapees go?” Hoss asked as soon as Joe arrived back and opened the front door.

“Good. We’ve caught one. But the other two are still on the run,” Joe answered while he took off his gun belt and jacket. “Pa decided to escort Mertz, the Captain and his soldiers back to Fort Dayton. I think he wants to make sure the prisoner arrives at the Fort alive because the Captain didn’t treat the man with kid-gloves when he tried to interrogate him. He seems to be quite brutal in dealing with prisoners. Mertz even called Bolton a butcher. I believe Pa will try to have a word with Colonel Metcalf about Bolton,” Joe explained further before he continued, throwing an anxious glance in the direction of upstairs. “How’s Adam doing?”

“Awww, don’t worry, Joe. Other than he is seeing everything double when he’s awake, Adam’s just fine. It only causes him some dizziness if he tries to get up. But he should rest anyway. I bet by tomorrow afternoon he’ll be his usual self again.”

Hoss gave Joe a reassuring clasp on the shoulder.

“That’s good to hear,” said Joe with a relieved smile. “Not that I would admit it aloud while he was around.” He laughed. “I wouldn’t want my concern for him to go to his head,” he joked.

Even though it was obvious that Adam and Joe cared deeply about each other, their relationship was often affected by misunderstandings and hard feelings, born out of suppressed insecurities and a false notion of pride. Hoss wished they would just be able to see each other like he did. Many disputes of them in the past could have been avoided.

Hoss shook his head and sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if the both of you’ll ever grow up.”

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After he’d eaten, Joe headed for his room while Hoss rode off to catch up with some of the Ponderosa’s hands who were working on the northern range.

As Joe passed he saw that Adam’s door was slightly ajar. For a moment he thought about closing it. But then he decided he didn’t want to disturb Adam in his sleep. During their meal Hoss had told him how exhausted Adam had been.

However just as Joe was about to pass bye he heard a creaking noise – or at least he thought he did. He stopped and tilted his head and listened into the silence. The creaking sound repeated.

There was only a brief moment of hesitation before Joe quietly entered his brother’s room. He found Adam sitting in bed, staring into space. A book was lying disregarded on the covers.

“Hey, you’re awake,” stated Joe, gazing at Adam with a soft smile. Despite the wrap around his head, Joe was glad to note Adam looked much better than he had earlier and wasn’t as pale as when the soldiers had brought him home.

“Yeah, it seems so,” Adam answered with a deadpan expression before he subtly changed subject. “Did you and pa find the men who attacked me?”

“Yes, we found one of them,” Joe confirmed. “The other two escaped and left him behind. Mertz was a hindrance to them because he was still wearing his manacles. But Tyler and Sutton are still on the run. Pa’s escorting Captain Bolton and his men back to Fort Dayton. He wants to speak with Colonel Metcalf.”

Joe just hoped Adam wouldn’t come up to question him about why their father had ridden with the soldiers. Joe wouldn’t know what to say since he didn’t want to burden Adam at the moment with the worry about the threatening behavior of the Captain. So before Adam even got the chance, Joe asked instead: “How are you doing?”

Discreetly Joe studied his brother. “Do you need something? Maybe you’re hungry?” he suggested helpfully, and regretted what he said immediately as Adam visibly swallowed and grew paler; the thought of eating enough to nauseate him again. “Please, don’t mention food yet.”

The muttered plea was barely audible, and Adam’s face showed nothing but disgust.

“Sorry.” Joe ran his fingers through his hair in a sheepish gesture. “I didn’t mean to upset you or your stomach.”

He cursed himself for his stupidity, knowing he’d underestimated how bad Adam still felt compared to how relaxed he’d seemed just a few seconds before. How could he have been so foolish to believe in Adam’s casual manner? It was a failure which wouldn’t happen again.

When I’m with him, Adam was always a master at hiding how he felt, especially when it came to illnesses or injuries, Joe thought. When he was with Pa or Hoss, Adam didn’t seem to have such a problem or at least not to the same extent. Even though, Joe admitted to himself, it had gotten better between them both over the past few years. But at times like this Joe still lived under the impression he had a lot to prove to his elder brother.

Now he knew better Joe waited patiently until Adam managed to get himself more under control. “Maybe you’ll feel better if you drink some water?” he suggested. “It might help to settle your stomach.”

This time Joe didn’t wait for a response. Instead, he took the water pitcher from the nightstand and poured a glass half full. When Joe handed it to Adam he held his brother’s gaze.

For the second time that day Adam felt as though he’d been challenged by a brother and was about to lose the ‘battle’ once again. However, gratefully he grasped the glass. Had he ever mentioned how much he hated it when his body betrayed him?

A few seconds before Adam took the offered glass, Joe realized he was holding his breath. It was kinda silly because this was just his brother and he didn’t need to be nervous around him! Right?

Yet here he stood and felt that way nonetheless. Adam had that weird effect on him and Joe didn’t like it. With Hoss everything was so much easier, Joe thought regretful. Uneasily he shifted on his feet while watching Adam sipping the water. Joe was pondering about what to say next when his eyes caught the book on Adam’s bed cover.

He remembered suddenly how Adam had been sitting and staring into space at the time he had entered the room. Back than it had looked like Adam was thinking about something. – not that it was something unusual for his brother to do. No! But under the given circumstances Joe assumed there was more going on than just a little thinking. Maybe Adam had tried to read but under the circumstances this wouldn’t have been one of his best ideas.

Didn’t Hoss mention that Adam was experiencing double vision? Staring in a room, seeing everything twice could play some funny tricks on one’s body; especially when you’re suffering from concussion. Joe knew this from his own experience. No wonder Adam felt ill, Joe concluded. But he also knew that it only got worse if you tried to concentrate on something. Joe glanced at the book once again and came to a decision.

“You know, I could read to you for awhile,” he offered generously and stepped closer.

“No, thank you. It’s fine,” dismissed Adam nonchalantly. At the same time he cupped his hand casually about the book.

It might have been just a sentence and a simple gesture. But for Joe it clearly caused him to feel annoyance flaring up inside of him. “Sure it is,” he snapped a little bit harsher then intended. Despite all of his good intentions he felt as though he was about to lose his temper in Adam’s presence – again.

Yeah, Joe knew he was the hothead in the family. But Adam’s bullheaded Yankee granite head was annoying and provoking at times, and something hard to accept for Joe. Even though he knew it would be much better to simple ignore his brother’s comments from time to time, than allow them to bait him.

Adam raised an eyebrow. What had he done now? Adam wondered because he was sure something he must have done or said has caused Joe’s sudden change of mood. Only Adam wasn’t even aware of his gesture before or the signal he had sent with it. It was just his second nature which had led him to refuse Joe’s offer; the deep desire to be independent and not cause trouble to anyone.

Meanwhile, Joe did his best to get a grip on himself. He didn’t want to argue with Adam. He wanted to help his brother. Therefore a change in tactic was the best alternative.

“Don’t be stupid, Adam,” Joe said as calmly as possible. “I know you can’t read properly at the moment so you should take me up on my offer. It’s not every day I volunteer to read something as boring as one of your books to you,” he provoked mildly.

“My books are not boring.” Adam protested but without malice, taking the initiated banter for what is was … a peace-offering.

“I beg your pardon, brother, but I think otherwise,” Joe smiled. “I know your taste, and as nice as poetry might be it’s usually complicated and difficult to read. Yet maybe I’ll even learn something by reading it out to you.”

Joe gave Adam one of his charming smiles and a wink.

“Maybe,” Adam agreed lightly and ignored the good-natured insult behind his brother’s good intentions. “But I wouldn’t bet on it,” he added with his typical dry sense of humor.

For a moment neither man spoke a word. They simply looked at each other until Adam surrendered and nodded. “Okay. Fine. 6,” he stated and handed Joe the book.

A bright smile crept over Joe’s face while he pulled the chair closer to Adam’s bed. When he had taken a seat his glance fell on the book’s cover. It was the first time he became aware of its title and surprise settled on his face. Well, this wasn’t going to be quite as bad as he had feared, Joe realized.

He had once seen a newspaper article about ‘Moby Dick; or, The Whale’. Even though the criticism had been widespread, it still made Joe curious about the story. It seemed Adam also felt similar as he now possessed the controversially discussed book. Joe searched the page his brother had mentioned.

Seeing Joe’s surprise and relief, Adam couldn’t help but smile. He knew Joe loved adventure stories, and with ‘Moby Dick’ he would get his money worth. The chances were good the book would pique Joe’s interest in earnest and he might even finish it. Then the both of them could discuss the story in depth; something Adam would appreciate deeply.

Adam still didn’t like it when he had to depend on others. But he’d learned long ago when he had to let go. Just like today. He and Joe might have their issues with one another. Nevertheless, Adam always knew he could rely on Joe just like he could count on Hoss or his father to back him up. In the end nothing else mattered. And with a contented smile, Adam slowly closed his eyes while he listened to his youngest brother’s voice.

The End

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A/N: Thank you again, Dodo, for doing a great job as Betareader. 🙂

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Disclaimer: Bonanza and its characters are created by David Dortort and originally aired on NBC. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Other characters then the originals are the property of the author.