Summary: Adam chronicles the Ragan Miller affair. (Written for 2025 Pernell Roberts Birthday Literary Challenge)
Rating: T Word Count 574
Adam’s Journal — She Walks in Beauty
Unforgettable
When Pa told me he had invited Miss Amelia Miller and her sister for dinner, I was intrigued, looking forward to meeting my brother’s new love interest. I never imagined it to be the infamous Ragan Miller. That name carried a notoriety not associated with polite society, and it had been a topic of several barely hushed conversations during my recent trip to San Francisco. Two men were dead, one from a reputable family who had tried unsuccessfully to keep the details of his demise from public knowledge, and though she was never charged with any wrong doing, there were those who held her morally responsible. It was understood; she was that kind of woman. Beautiful, manipulative, cold-hearted.
Though she didn’t look the part that evening, dressed in a modest frock and seated so demurely with Hoss beaming like a school boy behind her. It was a charming picture, but I saw the way her expression hardened when he brought up the subject of San Francisco and the possibility that we might have mutual friends there. She knew that I knew.
Hoss was giddy after they left, convinced that he was in love and eager to marry. But my gut said Ragan was trouble, and my naive and trusting brother had no idea what he was getting himself into.
The next morning, I delivered some papers Amelia had requested regarding a potential investment, and I used the opportunity to confront Ragan. I warned her to stop amusing herself with Hoss the way she did with other men, or I would tell him about her. She tried to convince me she wasn’t like that, and it almost worked; she was that good. I ignored my gut and let my guard down. I suppose any man can be a fool for a moment, but sometimes a moment is all it takes. Mea culpa.
When she kissed me, something wormed in my stomach, and it wasn’t pleasure. Quite the opposite. I had to wipe my mouth afterwards.
Hop Sing met me when I got home and told me Hoss was “very upset” and wanted to see me in the bunkhouse. The fury in my brother’s eyes told me I had been judged before he opened his mouth to accuse me. I didn’t have time to be afraid before he hit me harder than I’d ever been hit in my life. Not just once either. But I couldn’t raise my fist to him. He didn’t understand. I don’t like to think what would have happened if Pa and Joe hadn’t showed up when they did.
I was shaking afterwards, trying to catch my breath, and quite honestly, thankful to be alive. I hurt all over, but the thing that hurt the most was Hoss believing I would betray him that way. That was the deepest cut.
It seems Pa had better luck with Ragan than I did, because in the end she set the record straight with Hoss and returned to San Francisco, much to his dismay. Whether she was being selfless or merely practical, I don’t know, though I can’t help but feel a little sorry for her. There seems to be no love lost between her and her sister, and to me, that’s a very sad thing.
Hoss and I both agree that Ragan is one we will never forget, even if for all the wrong reasons. The wounds are still tender, but they are healing.
END
Terrific entry to the Journal offering clarity on what we didn’t see–or saw–but couldn’t possibly know the depth of the cut.
I’ve always found the ending (Adam and Hoss as Ragan’s stagecoach departs) to be a little flat after that intense bunkhouse scene. A lot of things left unspoken. I’m sure he and Hoss would’ve eventually had that difficult conversation. Thanks for reading and commenting, Cheaux. 🙂
This is a wonderful way to fill in those scenes with Adam. We see his facial expression and hear his words, but it’s the thoughts that bring substance to Ragan’s past and an almost destroyed brotherly bond. I enjoyed reading Adam’s thoughts.
We really just got the bare bones in that episode, so it was interesting to try to fill in some of the blanks. I’m glad you approved, Robin. Thanks for reading! 🙂
Lovely reflection on these events from Adam’s viewpoint! It really does make you see things differently.
Adam had a unique perspective in this episode, didn’t he? It wasn’t just about Hoss. Thanks for reading, Rachel. 🙂
Good stuff. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this episode, but I’m always left wondering just what she did back in San Francisco. Do they say? I don’t know. But I like your explanation and I like the way you describe Adam’s repulsion to her.
I went back and watched the episode again before writing this one, and no, the scandalous details are left to the imagination. I appreciate your comments, Janet. Thanks for reading. 🙂
This was a nice little story. Adam writes quite a journal. Thanks
Adam has always had a way with words. Thanks for reading. 🙂