Summary: After Ben sold the rabbits to Barlow and Clyde, he believed the Ponderosa had seen the last of them.

Rating: G

Word Count:1154

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Hoss and the Rabbit Business

Ben stood up from his desk as the sound of a buckboard outside reached his ears. “About time that brother of yours got back,” he grumbled, looking over at Joe.

Joe laughed softly and shook his head. “Wonder what kept him?” He was sure he wouldn’t be wondering for long. Grabbing an apple from the coffee table, Joe took a bite before following Pa outside to do a bit of smirking at his big brother’s expense.

“Going to Virginia City for supplies and back takes all day now?” Ben inquired, arms crossed over his chest.

Hoss looked slightly chagrined as he stepped down. “No, no, that it don’t. Guess I sort of got distracted. Say, you remember them rabbits me and Joe had?”

The youngest Cartwright’s eyes widened, and he quickly looked over the load Hoss had brought back for signs of rabbits, or any other animals might have returned with his brother. Pa was already a little out of sorts; the last thing he’d want was Hoss bringing home strays. Especially rabbits!

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I’m not sure I will ever forget those rabbits.” Those critters had not only spooked his horse, they had ruined not one, but two new saddles!

The bigger man grinned. “Yeah, me neither. Cute little critters, wasn’t they?” He missed Ben’s annoyed expression as he went on. “Met a gal in town today. She keeps ‘em. In the house, Pa. The one she’s got lives real fancy.”

Rather than look annoyed, Ben now looked completely confused. “In the house?” He tried to imagine such a scenario and how he would talk Hoss out of attempting it here. Not that he saw any rabbits, but they had proven themselves adept at hiding before.

Hoss nodded, his bright blue eyes alight with excitement. “Yeah! Don’t really even have a cage, neither. Just goes where it pleases. Up on the furniture and hippity hoppity round the whole place. Cute thing, too. Just white as snow and the bushiest tail.”

Beside Ben, Joe grinned. “So, you’ve seen this fancy rabbit then?” He took a bite of the apple while waiting to hear more.

“Oh yeah, Joe. She invited me for coffee, and I got to meet it. Her, rather. It’s a her. Cuddly little gal it was, too. The rabbit, not the gal. Woman-gal,” Hoss clarified. His face colored a bit as Joe laughed.

A part of Ben wished Adam were here just now, to make one of those pithy comments about what a story this was turning out to be. He missed the biting sarcasm of his eldest son when the younger two engaged in foolishness. Though at this rate, Ben might spend the rest of the day trying to get it out of Hoss! “Alright, alright, let’s try and make some sense out of this,” Ben said firmly, interrupting Joe’s giggles at Hoss’s blushes. “Where did you meet this woman?”

Hoss averted his eyes a bit and Joe began smirking once more. “When I went to see Roy before going to the mercantile,” he murmured.

“When you went to see Roy,” Ben repeated. Oh, this just got better and better!

Hoss nodded, rocking on his heels a bit. “He was puttin’ her in a cell when I came in. Seems she got in a fight with Barlow and Clyde about sellin’ rabbits. Clobbered ‘em a few times I guess, and Roy had to take her in.”

This was getting to be a bit much, Ben thought. “Why would a woman who owns a rabbit be upset about someone else selling them?”

“That’s just what Roy was asking! And I was real curious ‘bout that, too. She was real mad about the whole thing and said she couldn’t stay in jail; she had to go home and take care of Pearl. Now, that’s her rabbit, but me an’ Roy didn’t know that. I thought it was her little girl, so I bailed her out,” Hoss explained. “Can’t have a mother of young ones in jail. That’s when she invited me for coffee and since I was curious, I accepted. That’s when I figured out Pearl was the rabbit, not a young ‘un, and why she was so upset.”

“Why was she so upset?” Joe asked, now thoroughly enthralled.

“Well, you see, there’s a right way and a wrong way to take care of rabbits. Joe, we did it wrong. We didn’t know it, but we did,” Hoss explained. “And Barlow and Clyde aren’t telling people how to do it right when they’s sellin’ ‘em as pets. That’s what she was upset about. After she explained it, it all made perfect sense.”

“I’m glad it does to someone,” Ben muttered under his breath.

“We decided to go buy all the rabbits and do it right. So, we’re business partners now!” Hoss announced, looking mighty pleased with himself.

“Hoss, you are not bringing a rabbit business here,” Ben hissed. “We’re not doing that again.”

The middle Cartwright son shook his head. “No, no, that’s all gonna be taken care of in town. Though I did invite her to supper tonight,” Hoss grinned. “I think you’ll like her. She and I are gonna talk more about business afterwards. It’s gonna be a lot of work, I think.” He was looking forward to spending more time with that feisty young woman and her fancy rabbit, too.

“Is she bringing her rabbit with?” Joe asked, mischief dancing in his eyes.

Hoss paused in thought. “You know, I didn’t ask her.”

“She better not bring that rabbit out here!” Ben bellowed. “Leave it to you to find a woman with a fancy rabbit in her house, Hoss.”

“Shouldn’t we just be happy my big brother here’s invited a woman to dinner?” Joe countered with a grin.

Ben sighed. “But why did it have to be rabbits?”

Joe shrugged. “Knowing Hoss, it could’ve been skunks,” he pointed out. “Or squirrels. Maybe you ought to be thankful it’s just rabbits.”

“Like you’re any better Joseph,” Hoss pointed out with a frown. “That whole thing was your idea anyhow.”

“Don’t get mad at me, big brother,” Joe countered, raising his hands in surrender. “If you marry the girl, you’ll have me to thank for it then.” He gave Hoss his most charming grin and took off into the house as Hoss advanced on him with a look that said the water trough was in his future.

“Boys! There’s a wagonload of supplies here!” Ben yelled after them. “Boys!” Joe’s laughter filtered out from the sitting room and the Cartwright patriarch could only roll his eyes heavenward. Those sons of his sometimes! “Bring the roughhousing outside! How many times do I have to tell you two?” he called, heading towards the front door. Shouting aside, Ben wouldn’t trade his sons for anything. But if that woman brought her rabbit tonight, he might think about rehoming Hoss!

The End