Summary: After Joe’s wife, Alice loses her memory in a horse riding accident, Joe works to bring her memory back. The accident however brings up painful memories for Ben who lost Joe’s mother in the same way. This is the fourth story in my Forever Reimagined series. 

Rating: PG

Word Count: 12,282

Forever Reimagined series: 

Book 1: Vengeance is Mine
Book 2: No More Promises
Book 3: The Second Honeymoon
Book 4: Remember Me
Book 5: Once In A Lifetime
Book 6: The Most Precious Gift of All 
Book 7: To Love, Honor, and Cherish

Book 8: Trapped (By MelissaR1992)

Chapter One 

It was a beautiful Spring morning on Ponderosa territory as Joe and Alice Cartwright slept in their bed. Alice faced Joe as she stirred a little and opened her eyes. She smiled and moved closer to him. She placed her hand on his chest and laid her chin down on top. Joe stirred and opened his eyes. 

“Good morning, husband,” she said. 

He gave a soft chuckle and said, “Morning, wife.” 

They exchanged a kiss. Alice sighed. “I’m afraid we overslept.” 

“That’s because we were out dancing ‘til midnight.” 

Alice flashed a grin. “We had fun didn’t we?” 

“We sure did. In fact it was the most fun we had together in months,” he told her. 

She gazed into his eyes and moved her fingers through his thick curls. “And that’s why I’ll always remember it.” 

Joe gazed right back at her before he kissed her again. Alice laid her head down on his chest and told him, “I wish we could just stay like this forever.” 

Joe looked down at her and smiled as he gently stroked her head. “Me too.” 

She sighed and lifted her head up to him. “We should really get going. It’s getting late.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” 

They exchanged another kiss. Alice told him, “I’ll go check on the baby and then get started on your breakfast.” 

She started to get up when Joe pulled her back down to him again. She squealed. Joe said, “Just a few more minutes, huh?” 

He kissed her again making her giggle. “Joe. I’m serious, we need to get up. Come on.” 

“All right,” he said with a sigh. 

Alice got up from the bed and walked to the door. She turned around with her hand on the side of the door frame. “Joe?” 

Joe lifted his head up to her. “Yeah?” 

“I love you,” she told him and smiled. 

Joe returned the smile and repeated the words to her. After she left the bedroom, Joe smoothed his hair back and sighed. He got out of bed; readying himself for the day ahead. 

***

Later that afternoon, Alice wandered the ranch waiting for Joe who had planned to take her on a picnic. She came up to a stable and folded her arms over the railing. She smiled at the beautiful mare inside the stable. The mare shook her muzzle; nostrils flaring. Alice became mesmerized by her beauty when she heard a strong, yet gentle voice. 

“I see you’ve become acquainted with Josephine.” 

Alice jumped and turned to her right. Ben approached her with a chuckle. Alice caught her breath and answered, “Yes, I certainly have.” 

Ben came up next to Alice and stared at Josephine in awe. “She’s a real beauty isn’t she? Joe and I found her all alone up near Wishing Creek with a lame leg. Poor thing.” 

Josephine trotted over to Alice and she giggled. “Oh. Hello. “ She brushed her hand over her mane. 

Ben told her, “Joe insisted on bringing her back to the ranch and we nursed her back to health. Now she’s as strong as ever.” 

Joe walked out of the house and headed over to Alice. “Hi, sorry it took so long. Are you ready to go?” 

She nodded. “Mm-hm.” 

Joe placed his hand on her back and said, 

“I’ll get the buggy ready.” He started walking to the barn when Alice spoke. 

“Joe?” 

Joe stopped at the barn doors. “Yeah?” 

Alice walked up to him and asked, “Do you remember when you promised to take me riding someday?” 

He nodded. “Mm-hm.” 

Alice intertwined her fingers together and moved them around as she looked down, shyly. “Well, are you still willing to teach me?” 

Joe pressed his lips in a firm line, holding back a smirk. “Yes, but I thought you didn’t want to learn?” 

“I know, but I changed my mind. I want to,” she told him. 

Joe paused and said with a smile, “Sure, I’d love to teach you.” 

Alice went over to Josephine and asked, 

“How about we get started now with this horse.” 

Joe pointed to Josephine as he raised his eyebrows. “That horse?” 

She nodded. “Mm-hm.” 

 Joe bit his lip and hesitated in his response. “Well, honey, I would, but that horse hasn’t been broken in yet. I don’t think it would be safe for you to ride her right now.” 

Ben countered, “Oh, I wouldn’t say that. She’s a little skittish, but she’s been pretty calm the last few days. I think she’ll be all right.” 

Joe felt an uneasiness in the pit of his stomach. He squinted an eye at Josephine with a tilt of his head and said, “I don’t know, Pa.”

Josephine’s nostrils flared and she nuzzled her muzzle against Alice’s cheek. Alice gave a soft chuckle. “Aw. Well, she certainly seems calm, and very gentle.” 

Ben chuckled, but Joe still wasn’t sure. Ben suggested, “Why don’t we see how she does on the horse first and if you still feel uneasy about it, we’ll find her another horse to ride, all right?” 

“Yes, please, Joe, I really want to ride this horse,” Alice pleaded as she moved her hand along Josephine’s silky brown coat. 

Joe shrugged his shoulders. “Well, I still don’t feel right about it, but if it means that much to you, we can give it a try. I’ll go get a saddle for her.” 

Alice smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.” 

Joe finished placing the saddle on Josephine and then helped Alice onto the horse while Ben held onto the reins. 

Josephine shook her muzzle and whinnied. Joe patted her back. “Easy, girl.” 

Alice stroked her mane. Josephine’s breathing slowed and she began to relax. Joe took the reins and said to Alice, “We’ll start out slow.” 

Alice nodded. Joe started pulling Josephine along. They walked around in a circle as Josephine trotted along. Alice told him, “I think I’m ready to try on my own now.” 

“Are you sure?” Joe asked. 

“I think so.” 

“All right.” Joe handed over the reins to her. “Be careful.” 

“I will.” 

She took the reins and gave them a light tug. Josephine started to move again. Ben watched from the stable fence with intrigue as Joe watched her with caution. 

Alice lightly pulled on the reins to stop and then petted Josephine. She said, “See, I told you. She just needed a woman’s touch, that’s all. Not all you men crowding around her.” 

Joe turned to Ben and nodded his head towards Alice as he remarked, “You hear her, Pa?” 

Ben chuckled and said, “Well, she’s certainly a lot calmer than she was when we first brought her here.” 

Joe sighed as he wrapped his arms around him. “I still don’t feel easy about it though.” 

Ben tilted his head to the right. “Well, you know your wife, Joseph. Once she’s made up her mind.” He glanced over at Alice and then said, “She’s a lot like your mother in that way. Determination, spunk.” 

Joe pursed his lips. “Hm, I knew there was a reason I fell in love with her. I’m not gonna win this one, am I, Pa?” 

Ben gave a soft chuckle. “No, I’m afraid not.” 

Joe looked up at Alice and said, “All right, I’ll take you riding on this horse, huh?” 

Alice smiled big. “I knew I could convince you.” 

Joe walked over to her and remarked, “Yeah, I guess it’s true what they say about a woman’s wiles, huh?”

Alice shook her head “Watch it, mister.” 

Joe giggled. “I’ll go saddle up Cochise and we’ll head out.” 

After Joe saddled up Cochise, he tied Josephine’s reins to Cochise and helped Alice onto Josephine. He handed over the picnic basket to her and then mounted Cochise. He took the reins and said to Ben, “We’ll see you later, Pa.” 

“Have a good time. Be sure and hurry back. Your brother, Adam, is supposed to stop by for a visit this afternoon.” 

“Will do.” Joe got Cochise moving and Josephine trailed from behind. Alice waved to Ben who waved back at her. 

***

A little while later, Alice sat underneath a tall oak tree as she stared out into the lake, almost in a dream-like trance. Joe, who was sprawled out on the picnic blanket, took a bite of his sandwich and looked over at Alice. He smiled and said, “You know, you’ve been awfully quiet since we left the ranch. Is there something on your mind?” 

Alice gave a faint smile as she hung her head down. “No. I’m sorry, I must be such a bore today.” 

Joe placed his hand over hers. “You’re never boring to me and you know it. Now, come on, you must have been thinking of something, what was it?”

Alice looked out into the lake. “I was just thinking how I’ve seen this place so many times and yet it seems it gets even more beautiful every time we come here.” 

Joe smiled and moved his hand underneath her chin. “Just like you.” 

Alice’s face flushed red when Joe gave her a soft and tender kiss. 

The wind started to pick up causing the picnic basket to topple over. Joe looked up into the dark clouds. “It looks like a storm’s coming. We should head back now before we get caught in the middle of it.” 

“All right.” Alice gathered up the picnic basket and blanket while Joe untied the reins of both Cochise and Josephine. Josephine whinnied and Joe smoothed his hand over her back, calming her. He helped Alice onto Josephine and started to tie the reins to Cochise. Alice reached for the reins. “Oh, that’s all right, Joe. I think I’m getting the hang of it now.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

She nodded. “Yes, it would just slow us down anyway if we want to make it back in time before the storm.” 

“All right, but be careful,” he cautioned. 

“I will,” she said as she patted Josephine. She took the reins and lightly tugged on them. Josephine took a few steps forward. 

Joe told her, “Take it nice and easy now, not too fast. I’ll be right behind you.” 

Alice trotted along on Josephine when all of a sudden thunder rumbled and lightning flashed spooking Josephine. She whinnied and reared, shaking her muzzle. 

“Whoa. Easy, girl.” Alice held tightly onto the reins, trying to keep them steady, but she lost control and Josephine took off running across the pasture. 

“Alice!” Joe swung-mounted Cochise. “Come on! Yah!” He raced after Alice. 

Josephine galloped towards a tree. Alice screamed as one of the branches smacked her in the face, hurling her backwards off of Josephine. 

Joe watched the scene unfold in horror before he caught up to her. He dismounted Cochise and hurried over to her. He bent down to her motionless figure and gently turned her. “Alice?” 

Her head lolled over to the right, revealing a big gash on her forehead as well as tiny scratches across her face from the tree branch. Joe’s eyes widened and he moved his gaze over to the rock next to her, covered in her blood. 

“Oh, dear God,” he breathed. Joe scanned the area as his whole body trembled, formulating a quick plan in his mind. 

They were only a few miles from the ranch, so Joe hurried and grabbed a blanket, throwing it over Cochise before he carefully lifted Alice and laid her down on top of him. 

Joe mounted back onto Cochise and lifted Alice up, holding her close to him before he took the reins and hightailed it in the direction of the Ponderosa. 

Joe galloped up to the house and screamed for his pa before he pulled on the reins and dismounted Cochise. 

Ben came hurrying out of the house. “Joe? What’s wrong?” He saw an unconscious Alice lying over Cochise and murmured, “Dear God, what happened?” 

Joe could barely keep it together and the words came out in a rush. “She fell. I’ll explain later, help me get her into the house.” 

Ben helped Joe lift Alice off of Cochise when Jamie came out of the house to find out what the commotion was about. 

Ben held onto Alice with his arm underneath hers, holding her body up towards him while Joe grabbed hold of her legs. “Jamie, I’m gonna need you to ride out and get Doc Martin. Hurry, please,” he urged. 

Jamie sprinted to the barn while Ben and Joe carried Alice into the house. 

Inside, Ben brought Alice over to the settee and he and Joe gently set her down. Ben pressed his fingers against her neck. 

“Her pulse is weak, but she’s alive.” Ben looked up at Joe and asked, “How did it happen?” 

Joe panted, “The horse got spooked by the lightning and she took off running. Alice was thrown and she hit her head on a rock. I was so scared, Pa, I didn’t know what to do. I got here as fast as I could. I just hope I’m not too late and she…” 

Ben placed his hand on his shoulder. “Joseph, you did everything you could. All we can do now is wait for the doctor.” Joe nodded his head slightly. Ben patted his shoulder and told him, “I’ll go inform Hop Sing of what’s happened.” 

Joe closed his eyes and took a breath as fear gripped his body. 

 

***

A little while later, Jamie came back with Doc Martin. They had brought Alice up into Joe’s old bedroom. Doc Martin examined her while Joe and Ben hovered over him and rain pattered against the windowsill. Ben said, “Well, doctor?” 

Doc Martin sighed. “It’s hard to tell. There appears to be no broken bones, but she did take a mighty blow to the head. I cleaned up the wound as best I could, but we won’t know the seriousness of her injuries until she wakes up.” 

Ben looked over at Alice and asked, “Is there anything you can do?” 

“For the time being, no. As I said before…” 

Joe’s head perked up. “Pa, she’s waking up.” He rushed to her bedside. “Alice?” She turned her head to him and opened her eyes. Joe gave a soft chuckle in relief. “Hey.” He gently rubbed her head and said, “Boy did you give me a scare. I told you riding that horse was a bad idea.” 

Alice looked around and asked, “Where am I?” 

Joe placed his hand over hers. “You’re at the Ponderosa, love. Pa’s here and Doc Martin.” 

Doc Martin smiled. “You took quite a nasty fall there, dear. How are you feeling?” 

Alice squinted her eyes and put her hand up to her head. “My head. It hurts.” 

Joe said, “I know. You hit your head, but you’re gonna be just fine.” 

She scrunched her eyebrows at Joe and asked, “Who are you?” 

Joe crinkled his eyebrows. “It’s me, honey. It’s Joe.” 

Alice’s breath shuddered. “I don’t know you.” She pulled her hand away and then looked over at Ben and Doc Martin. “I don’t know any of you,” she said. 

Joe looked at her in bewilderment. He turned to Ben and Doc Martin who stood there perplexed; realizing Alice’s condition was more serious than they thought. 

Chapter Two 

Joe, Ben, and Doc Martin stood outside the door of Joe’s old bedroom. 

Joe said to Doc Martin in frustration, “All right, doc, what’s going on? She has no idea who I am.” 

Doc Martin sighed. “Well, it seems she is suffering from a bout of amnesia which is common with head injuries.” 

Joe calmed himself. “All right, how long does it last?” 

“Well, it’s hard to say. It could be a few hours, could be days–weeks. Even months.” 

Joe couldn’t even fathom the idea. “Months?” 

“Yes. The mind is very complex. There are some things beyond my knowledge or skill as a physician to be able to determine the when or even if. The rest is in God’s Hands.” 

Joe hung his head down while Ben placed a comforting hand over his son’s shoulder. 

Doc Martin suggested, “For right now, we can ask her a few questions and find out what she does remember. That might be able to give us some indication of how serious this really is.” 

Joe agreed and they went back into the bedroom. 

Doc Martin entered the bedroom with Joe and Ben trailing behind. They walked up to Alice’s bedside. Doc Martin said, “I’d like to ask you a few questions, my dear and I want you to answer them honestly. Can you do that?” 

Alice hesitated before she nodded in agreement. 

“All right. Now, what is your name?” 

Alice closed her eyes tight, trying hard to think which only made her headache worse. “I don’t know, I…” She lifted her up at Joe. “He called me Alice. Is that my name?” 

Ben, Joe, and Doc Martin all exchanged glances. Doc Martin asked, “What is the last thing you remember?” 

Alice squinted her eyes again; her head pounding. She shook her head and cried, 

“I can’t. I can’t remember anything. Please. Please, just leave me alone. Please,” she whispered and turned her head away from them. 

Doc Martin sighed. “All right. I’ll be back to check on you later.” 

Doc Martin left the bedroom along with Ben and Joe. 

As they made their way down the stairs, Doc Martin told them, “I have some more rounds to make, but I should be back sometime this afternoon. Until then I want you to keep an eye on her, make sure she’s comfortable. Try to familiarize with things that might help trigger her memory, but don’t force them.” 

Joe asked, “Can we tell her who we are?” 

Doc Martin hesitated. “I would advise against that for right now.” 

Joe looked at Doc Martin, puzzled. 

“Why? You just said to familiarize her with things that might help her memory, what better than her family?” 

“Because if you were to tell her who you are, it might frighten her and set her back even further than she already is. We can’t take that chance. So for now only treat her as if she were a stranger, nothing more.” Joe stopped near the fireplace mantel while Ben walked Doc Martin to the door. Doc Martin turned when he reached the door and said, “I know how difficult it is for you, but it’s the best thing we can do right now. I’m sorry, I wish there was more I could do; more hope I could offer you, but all we can do now is wait.” 

“It’s all right, we understand. We appreciate all your help, Paul, thank you,” Ben told him as he opened the door. 

“You’re welcome, Ben. I’ll see you later.” 

After Doc Martin left, Ben turned and saw Joe with his back turned, resting his hands over the post of the handrail. Ben placed his hands in his pockets as he walked up to Joe.  

Joe said, “I never should have let her ride that horse. I should have trusted my instincts and now she…” 

“Joe. You couldn’t have stopped her if you tried. We should just be grateful it wasn’t worse and that she’s alive.” 

“Yeah, and she has no idea who I am.” 

Joe jerked himself away from the staircase. 

Ben paused before he turned to Joe and told him, “Doc Martin said it was only temporary. Her memory could very well be restored to her as soon as tomorrow morning.” 

“Or maybe never,” Joe said. 

“You don’t want to think that way, Joseph.” 

“Well, that’s the only way I can think of it, Pa.” Joe let out a sigh before he said, “I just don’t see the harm in telling her.” 

Ben pressed his lips together in a firm line. He knew how stubborn his son could be, but he didn’t want him to lose hope. His mind flashed to Hoss and when he had lost his memory. He figured that might be the little spark he needed. 

“Well, if you remember when Hoss lost his memory. Every time we would ask him questions, he tried so hard to remember that it was causing him great pain. The Hoss we knew was still in there and he was fighting so hard to come back to us, but it was like he was trapped. I believe that’s what’s happening with Alice right now. She’s still in there, Joe. We just need to be patient and let her memory come back on its own.” 

Joe fought tears as he said softly with his voice breaking, “And what if it doesn’t, Pa? What then?” 

Ben looked at him with sorrow at a loss on how to respond when Joe stormed past him and out the door. Ben stood there motionless, feeling an ache in his heart for his son. 

***

Later that evening, Alice laid in bed wearing her pink silk robe when there was a knock at the door. 

“Come in,” she said. 

The door opened. Joe walked in holding a tray of food. 

“Hi. I thought you might be hungry so I brought you some stew.” 

Alice gave a small smile. “Oh. Thank you.” 

Joe brought the tray around to the nightstand and set it down. He picked up the bowl of stew and handed it to her. 

“Careful it’s hot.” 

Alice sat up in bed and took the bowl. Joe pulled up a chair and took a seat next to her. He had almost taken a seat on the bed, but remembered he had to tread carefully and break old habits he had established with her. 

Alice picked up the spoon and began to eat. Joe paused for a few brief seconds before he asked, “How are you feeling?” 

Alice sighed. “I’m feeling better I suppose. I just wish I could remember something; anything.” Joe pressed his lips in a firm line, fighting the urge to tell her the truth. Alice looked up at him and smiled. “Well. I thank you for your kindness in taking me in, mister…” 

“Oh, it’s Cartwright, Joe Cartwright.” 

Joe had a moment of deja vu as he thought back to the moment he first met Alice. She was in her hotel room and wearing that same robe. He had just brought her brother home after getting into a brawl over a poker game. 

She gave that same sweet smile as she responded, “Oh, well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Cartwright.” 

“Uh, you can call me Joe,” he told her.

She nodded. “Joe.” 

He gazed into her eyes to see if maybe hearing his name would trigger something in her memory. 

Instead, she looked around the room and asked, “So, do you live here in this house?” 

“I used to. I grew up in this house actually. In fact I was born here. This was my old bedroom. But I have my own place now not too far from here.” 

“Oh, that’s nice.” 

Joe told her, “The other gentleman you met, he’s my pa, Ben Cartwright. He owns this house and all the land surrounding it. We call it the Ponderosa.” 

Joe studied her; hoping the names he mentioned would ignite some sort of spark in her. 

“Well, it’s a very lovely home,” she responded. 

Joe tried to hide his disappointment. “Well, since you’re gonna be staying here a while, I could show you around the place if you like. Well, whenever you feel up to it.” 

She smiled. “Oh. I would like that.” 

“Good.” Joe rose from the chair. “Well, uh, I’ll let you eat that stew before it gets cold, but if you need anything just let me or my pa know, all right?” 

Alice thanked him. Joe started to lean in to kiss her, but stopped himself when he remembered he had to treat her as an acquaintance, not the woman he knew and fell in love with. “I’ll see you later.” 

After Joe left the room, he took a deep breath; amazed that he was able to keep his composure. It was so surreal for him to be talking to his wife as if she had just met him for the first time. He wondered how long it would last and if the Alice he knew would ever come back to him again. 

Chapter Three 

Two days passed and Alice’s memories still hadn’t returned. Meanwhile, Candy had returned from a week-long business trip. Ben explained to him what happened. Jamie sat on the settee while Candy stood behind him. 

Candy crossed his arms and asked, “So, she doesn’t remember anything?” 

Ben, who stood in front of his desk, shook his head. “No. Doc Martin said he wasn’t sure how long it would last, but he told us it was best if we didn’t tell her who we really are because it could set her back even further than she is now. We have to let her memory come back on its own.” 

“Phew, boy. That’s gotta be tough on Joe,” Candy sympathized. 

Ben hung his head down with a sigh, his arms folded over him. “More than you know. So, when you see her, I want you to talk to her as if you are just meeting her for the first time, all right?” 

Candy nodded. “All right.” 

Joe and Alice descended the stairs. Ben’s demeanor quickly changed as a smile formed on his lips and he walked over to them. 

“Well, now. How are we doing this morning, hm?” 

“Fine, thank you,” Alice replied. 

Joe told him, “I was just gonna give her a tour of the ranch and maybe a buggy ride around the Ponderosa.” 

“Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea!” 

Candy came up to them and Ben “introduced” him to Alice. “Oh. I’d like you to meet my foreman, Candy.” 

Candy flashed a smile and tipped his hat to her. “It’s a pleasure, ma’am.” 

Alice smiled. “Pleasure to meet you.” 

Joe said, “We should be back sometime this afternoon.” 

Joe started leading Alice to the door when she spoke. “Oh, before we go. Do you mind if I freshen up a bit? I’ve been in bed for so long, I must look a mess.” 

“Not at all,” Joe said. 

Alice gave a shy smile. “Anyway, I won’t be long.” 

She turned and hurried back up the stairs. 

Candy turned to Joe and said, “Your pa told me what happened. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah.” Joe sighed and said, “I’m hoping that maybe showing her around the ranch, taking her to familiar places might help jog her memory.” 

“Well, it’s worth a try,” Ben said. 

Candy told them, “Well, I better go gather the men in the bunkhouse, get started on that round up. But hang in there, Joe.” He patted Joe’s shoulder. 

Joe thanked him. After Candy went out the door, Ben turned to Jamie. “You better get on to school, young fellow.” 

“All right. See ya later, Joe.” 

“See ya, Jame’.” 

Jamie gathered his books and headed out the door. 

Ben turned to Joe whose breath shuddered, trying to fight tears. “It’s so hard, Pa. It’s just so hard.” 

Ben put his arm around his shoulder. “I know. But you’ve got to be strong. When your brother, Hoss, lost his memory. I wanted nothing more than for him to remember us again. Like you I so desperately wanted to tell him who he was and how much he meant to us. But I couldn’t. And eventually his memory was restored. So that’s why you can’t give up hope. Because someway, somehow, she’ll find her way back to you again.” 

Joe looked up at Ben and gave a small smile. “Okay.” Ben gave his shoulder a light squeeze. Joe said, “I’ll go hitch up the buggy.” 

***

A little while later, Joe gave Alice a tour of the Ponderosa. She looked around in awe and asked, “Your pa really owns all of this?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s beautiful,” she said. 

“I’ll show you one of my favorite spots.” 

Joe lightly whipped the reins and steered the buggy up a hill. 

Later, Joe held Alice’s hand as they came up to a spot overlooking the lake. The same spot where Joe proposed to her. She looked out into the lake in awe and wonder as she smiled.

Joe told her, “I used to come here a lot as a kid, me and my older brother, Hoss. We called it our happy place.” Joe glanced over at Alice to see if she had any type of reaction to his words. 

Alice smiled. “I can see why you would. It looks like a dream.” 

Joe sighed. “Come on, I’ll show you some other spots I visit often.” He took her hand and led her back down to the buggy. 

They walked through the forest together where he, Alice and Ben had a picnic together right before he had proposed to her. She looked over at him and started studying him. 

Joe, with his eyebrows crinkled, asked, “What?” 

“It’s nothing,” she said. 

“Hey, come on, you can tell me, what is it?” he responded with a warm smile. 

“Well. It’s just that I can’t really explain it, but I feel…drawn to you. Like we’ve known each other for years. I feel safe with you. Like we have this connection or something.” She looked down shyly and said, “I don’t know. It sounds silly doesn’t it?” 

“No, it doesn’t. Some people just have that kind of effect on each other I suppose.” 

“That’s true I suppose, but I don’t know, this feels different,” she said. 

Joe bit down on his lip, fighting the urge to tell her. 

Alice said, “Anyway. I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I suspect I’ll be moving on at some point.” 

“Where will you go?” he asked. 

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I can’t even remember my own name.” 

Joe suggested, “Well, how about I call you Alice? What do you think of that name?”  

She smiled. “All right. It is a nice name.” 

Joe looked at her with a loving gaze and said, “It’s a lovely name for a very pretty girl like you.” 

Alice’s face flushed red. He always knew how to turn up the charm with her and she could never resist it.  

“Well, you’re welcome to stay here until you decide what to do,” he said. 

Alice thanked him and asked, “Have you ever thought about leaving this place?” 

“No, not really. I never could get used to the city. I prefer the outdoors. I took after my brother, Hoss in that way. He loved the outdoors too.” 

“Where is your brother now?” she asked. 

Joe hung his head down, holding back tears. “He died over a year ago.” 

Alice looked over at him with sympathy in her eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you two very close?” 

“Yeah, we were very close. We always got into a lot of trouble together ever since we were kids, it drove my pa nuts.” Alice gave a soft chuckle. Joe told her, “But he was a great guy to be around and the best brother and friend a man could have. I miss him a lot.” 

“It sounds like you really loved him,” Alice said. 

“I did. I remember when we were kids, we would tell each other how if we could, we would stay here on the Ponderosa forever.” 

Alice tilted her head as her mind flashed to a moment after her and Joe’s wedding. Joe took her face in his hands and whispered,  “Forever.” 

Alice squinted her eyes as she came to a stop and placed her hand up to her head. 

Joe turned around to her and asked in concern, “Are you all right?” 

Alice lifted her head up to him and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. I just have a bit of a headache is all.” 

“Oh, well, maybe I should take you back to the ranch so you can rest a while,” Joe suggested. 

“All right. I’m sorry to be spoiling your afternoon.” 

Joe gave a small smile. “You’re not spoiling it at all. In fact the only thing that would spoil it would be if you weren’t here with me.” 

Alice’s mind flashed back to another moment when Joe gave her a buggy ride and she told him her problems with her brother. 

“Well, anyway, no more. Joe Cartwright, I promise, I will not spoil your day.” 

“Alice Harper, the only thing that could spoil my day would be not having you with me.” 

Alice scrunched her eyebrows slightly when she felt Joe take hold of her hand. 

“Come on.” 

They made their way over to the buggy and headed back to the ranch.

***

Back at the ranch, Ben sat at his desk when he heard the door open. Thinking it was Joe and Alice, he lifted his head up and to his surprise, it was his eldest son, Adam. Ben crinkled his eyebrows as he rose from his desk. “Adam?” 

“Hey, Pa, sorry I’m late. The stage was delayed due to the storm.” 

Ben had been so distracted by what had happened with Alice, he had completely forgotten Adam was supposed to stop by for a visit. He put his hand up to his head. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t even realize. It must have slipped my mind.” 

Adam scoffed with a half-smile. “That wasn’t exactly the little homecoming I was expecting.” He took a seat on the armrest of the settee. 

Ben moved around his desk as he placed his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry, Adam. It’s just bad timing, really.” 

Adam asked with intrigue, “Why? What happened?” 

“It’s Alice. She was in an accident.” 

Adam’s demeanor changed in an instant. “Was it bad?” 

“She’s alive. She was thrown from a horse and hit her head. It was one of our new mares that Joe and I nursed back to health. I thought she was fine, but Joe felt differently. I should have had more trust in his instincts, but Alice insisted upon it.” 

Adam folded his arms over him with a sideways smirk. “It sounds like that Cartwright stubbornness has rubbed off on her.” 

Ben raised his eyebrows. “Yes, but she’s lost her memory because of it. She has no idea who we are or who she is. Doc Martin said her memory could return in a matter of days or weeks.” 

Adam added, “Or maybe longer?” 

Ben sighed. “That’s what I’m afraid of. Joe’s not taking it well as you can imagine.”

“I’m sure he isn’t.” Adam shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, it didn’t take long for Hoss’s memory to come back, so maybe that’s that case with Alice.” 

“I just hope you’re right.” 

The door opened and Joe, along with Alice walked in. Ben turned to Adam. 

“Adam…” 

Adam rose from the armrest and signaled to Ben that he understood what to do having been through it before with Hoss. 

Ben came up to Joe and Alice. “Well, how was the tour?” 

“It was lovely,” Alice responded. “You have a very beautiful place.” 

“Well, thank you.” Ben held his hand out towards Adam and “introduced” him. “This is my oldest son, Adam.” 

Adam bowed his head slightly towards her. “Pleasure.” 

Alice smiled. “Oh. Joe told me he had a brother, but I guess he didn’t mention you.” 

Adam noticed Joe’s embarrassment and took it in stride. “Well, I haven’t made frequent visits to Virginia City over the years since I left home.” 

Ben chimed in. “He’s been traveling around the world mostly.” 

“Yes, I finally settled in Boston a few years ago,” Adam interjected. 

Alice nodded her head slightly with a small smile. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re very…handsome.” 

Joe glanced over at her with a frown. She had never mentioned that little detail to his older brother before. Adam bit down on his lip, trying hard to suppress a smirk. Ben quickly changed the subject. “So Adam, how is the family?” 

“Oh, they’re fine. Emily wanted to come along, but our son has been fighting a cold.” 

Ben gave his sympathies when Joe spoke. “Alice had a headache so I thought she should get some rest.” 

“Of course,” Ben said. “I hope you’ll join us for supper later.” 

“I’d love to.” Alice turned to Joe and smiled. “I’ll see you later?” 

Joe nodded as he returned the smile. “Yeah.” 

After Alice ascended the stairs and disappeared around the corner, Adam turned to Joe. “Pa told me what happened, I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah.” Joe moved his gaze up at the stairs. “It’s been a few days and she still hasn’t shown any sign of remembering.” He shook his head. “Just when I think she’s so close, she looks at me as if I said nothing happened.” 

Ben placed his hand on Joe’s shoulder. “It’s only been a couple of days. Don’t give up hope yet.” 

“Pa’s right.” Adam glanced over at the door. “I should probably go and get settled at the hotel.” 

Ben looked over at Adam and exclaimed, “Nonsense! Why in the world would you want to go to a hotel when you can stay right here at the Ponderosa. This is still your home after all.” 

Adam folded his arms behind his back. “Well, I don’t want to impose.” 

“Impose?” Ben sputtered, flabbergasted at the notion. “Now, what kind of cock-a-mamie excuse is that?” 

Ben rambled on as Adam and Joe exchanged glances, both fighting laughter until finally Adam relented. “Well, if you insist.” 

Ben’s head perked up. “Well, that’s more like it. I’ll let Hop Sing know you’re here.” 

Adam said, “I’ll get my things.” 

Joe patted Adam’s shoulder. “Come on, I’ll give you a hand.” 

As Joe and Adam headed to the door, Joe teased, “I’ll be glad when Alice does get her memory back, then she’ll forget what she said to you.” 

“She will, but I won’t,” Adam grinned. 

Joe chuckled as he opened the door and both he and Adam walked out. Ben couldn’t help but smile at seeing his son show a glimmer of happiness since Alice’s accident. 

***

Later that night after the family had supper together, Ben sat in the living room of the Ponderosa reading a book when Joe descended the staircase. 

“She’s asleep,” he said. Joe shook his head with a scoff as he came up to the fireplace mantel. 

Ben placed his book down in his lap. “What?” 

“You know what’s funny? She’s still the same girl I fell in love with. The only difference is she doesn’t remember me. There is one thing she said to me though that I can’t get out of my head.” 

Ben looked up at him with intrigue. “What’s that?” 

“She told me that she couldn’t explain it, but she felt like she knew me. Like she has this connection to me and she couldn’t figure out what it was. That’s when I wanted so badly to tell her.” 

Ben shrugged his shoulders. “Well, it sounds to me like her mind is fighting to remember. So, whatever you are doing seems to be working.” 

“I really hope so, Pa.” Joe smiled and told him, “You know, spending time with her today, showing her all our favorite spots. It made me remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. Her smile, her warmth…the little things she would do that made me adore her.” He shook his head and couldn’t stop smiling. “The crazy thing is, Pa, I think I’m falling for her all over again.” 

Ben gave a small smile and said with a tilt of his head, “Well, perhaps you’ve been looking at this whole situation in the wrong way.” 

Joe crinkled his eyebrows slightly. “How do you mean?” 

Ben rose from his chair and placed his book down before he made his way over to Joe. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t view this problem simply as a tragedy, but rather an opportunity.” He put his arm around his son’s shoulder. “Maybe this is a chance for you to start over again. Remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place.” 

“You mean get her to fall in love with me again?” Joe asked. 

“Well, she fell in love with you once. And love always finds its way back. Pure and unconditional love that is.” 

“But the memories we had, Pa. I don’t want her to lose those.” Joe hung his head down. 

Ben gave his shoulder a light squeeze. “But you have them, Joe. And you carry them right here…” He pointed to his forehead. “And here.” He placed his hand over his chest indicating his heart. 

Joe gave a faint smile. “I know. But I want her to carry them too.” 

“She still does in some way,” Ben said. 

Joe said with a sigh, “Yeah. Maybe.” 

Ben patted his shoulder. “Come on. Why don’t you go to bed, get some rest. Every day is a brand new start. A brighter tomorrow, hm?” 

Joe rubbed his tired eyes. “All right. Goodnight, Pa, see you in the morning.” 

“Goodnight, son.” 

Ben watched Joe ascend the stairs before he turned in himself for the night. 

Chapter Four 

The next morning, Ben and Adam had breakfast at the kitchen table. Adam discussed with his pa about a particular breed of horses that might be of some interest to him. 

“The man offered a good deal for them. I know good horse flesh when I see it, I think you should take him up on it.” 

Ben nodded his head slightly. “Well, not that I don’t trust your good judgement, but I would like to take a look at them myself first.” 

Adam gave a small smile. “I told him you’d say that. He’s expecting you in town today.” 

“I’ll saddle my horse. If you don’t mind, I’d like Candy to come along with us. He’s one of my best hands.” 

“All right.” Adam picked up his coffee cup and asked, “How’s Joe holding up?” 

“He’s trying to say the least. Although I feel he might be trying a little too hard. I don’t blame him, but all there is to do is wait…and hope.” 

Adam nodded and told him, “I know how hard this has been on Joe, but I didn’t realize how it must be affecting you.” 

Ben lifted his head up, eyebrows crinkled. “What do you mean by that?” 

“Well, you can’t help but notice the fact that Alice’s accident almost mirrors that of Marie’s.” 

Ben’s head perked up. He adjusted himself in his chair as his muscles tightened. “I guess it never really occurred to me. It seems like a long time now since it happened.” 

Adam’s mouth formed an oval shape and immediately dropped the subject. “Well, why don’t we go see those horses?” 

Ben and Adam finished their breakfast and then saddled their horses along with Candy before heading into Virginia City. 

***

Meanwhile, Joe had taken his father’s advice by “courting” Alice as if they were starting over again. In the process, he found himself able to smile and laugh again just being with her and forgetting the horrible accident or the fact she didn’t remember him. He was creating new memories with her, but a part of him still wanted her to remember the life they had together before the accident. 

Joe held Alice’s hand as they came across a bed of white flowers. He bent down and plucked one off. He held it up to Alice. “For you.” She smiled and took a whiff. “Here.” Joe took the flower and placed it in her hair. “Beautiful,” he said. 

Joe paused as they locked eyes with each other. He gently brushed her hair back before he found himself leaning into her. Alice hesitated, but then returned the kiss. Joe hoped the kiss would ignite some spark in her memory. He held onto her, almost willing her to remember him. He finally pulled away and opened his eyes. He fixed his gaze on her, hoping and praying to see a glimpse of the Alice he knew again, but she only gave him a small smile without even a hint of remembering him.

Joe said, “It’s getting kind of late, why don’t we head back to the ranch.” 

Joe led Alice over to the buggy and they headed back to the Ponderosa. 

***

That evening, Ben paced the living room of the Ponderosa. The truth was Alice’s accident did cause his own painful memories of his late wife, Marie’s tragic death to resurface again. He walked up to the photo of Marie on his desk and picked it up. He looked at the photo as he thought back to that awful day of the horse riding accident that took her life and made him a widower again for the third time. 

He remembered the shock and horror of seeing her fall off her horse as he screamed her name. He remembered holding her lifeless body in his arms as he tried to bring her back to him. 

“Marie?” His eyes filled with tears as he shook his head in denial. “No…no. Not again. Please.” 

She was gone. His head fell on her shoulder. “Oh, darling.” He sobbed as he held his beloved wife close to him. 

Ben was left to raise three boys on his own. Joe was only five years old at the time while Hoss was eleven and Adam was seventeen. 

Ben held tightly onto the photo as if the glass would shatter in his hands. He felt for his son’s situation with his wife, but he also couldn’t help but feel a little envious in which he hated himself for feeling. His thoughts were disrupted by Adam’s voice. 

“Pa? Is everything all right?” 

Ben turned around and saw Adam near the staircase in his robe. Ben loosened his grip around the photo and set it back down on his desk. “Yes, everything’s fine,” Ben reassured, his voice almost a whisper. 

Adam tilted his head slightly and said, “You know, Pa, it’s all right to admit that you miss her. Even more so to admit you’re angry.” 

Ben scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “Angry?” 

“Angry at the fact that Alice lived and Marie didn’t.” 

Ben stood there motionless, shocked by Adam’s accusation. “You think I’m angry that Alice lived?” 

“No.” Adam moved away from the staircase. “I think you’re angry because both Alice and Marie were involved in the same type of accident. One lived and one died and you wonder why.” 

Ben moved away from his desk, bewildered. “Are you saying that I’m envious of my own son?” 

“Aren’t you?” Adam pressed. 

Ben’s body tensed as anger began to overtake him. His eldest son had struck a nerve deep within him that he had tried hard to bury. “If I was envious, do you realize how much I would hate myself for it?” he scowled. 

“Pa, it would only make you human.” 

Ben relaxed and sighed. He looked over at Adam, admiring the man he had become. He knew the courage it took to get him to admit something he had been so afraid to say out loud. He gave a faint smile and patted Adam’s shoulder. “Why don’t we see if Hop Sing has any coffee in the kitchen?” 

Adam smiled at his pa and Ben wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulder as they made their way into the kitchen. 

***

The next day, Alice explored the Ponderosa as she walked around the ranch with her hands folded behind her back. Meanwhile, one of Ben’s new ranch hands, Charlie, came out of the barn with an empty whiskey bottle in his hand. 

He attempted to take another drink when he noticed the bottle was empty. He tipped the bottle over and then threw it out when he noticed Alice near the stable. He gave a smug grin and wiped his mouth before staggering over to her. 

Alice had her hands wrapped around the railing of the stable when she heard the rugged voice of a man. 

“Morning, ma’am.” 

Alice turned and saw Charlie walking towards her. She gave a small smile. “Good morning.” 

“How are you doing this fine morning?” he asked. 

“Fine, thank you.” she replied. 

Charlie fixed his gaze on her and said, “You’re a might’ pretty woman.” 

Alice’s muscles tightened and her heartbeat began to speed up. Charlie said, “I don’t see how you could be with one of them high and mighty Cartwrights.” 

“They’ve been very kind to me.” she told him. 

Charlie sneered, “Why of course they are! You and me, we’s just another charity case to them.” He pointed his finger at her. “But you. Yeah, you’re special to them and you don’t even know why, do ya?” Alice looked at him puzzled. Charlie said as he waved his hand. “Anyway, forget bout’ him. How’s about you and me go and have a drink, honey, huh?” 

Candy walked out of the barn as Alice answered Charlie. 

“No, thank you. I think you’ve had enough. If you’ll excuse me.” She started to walk away when Charlie moved right in front of her. 

“Hey, hold on a minute now, I’s just tryin’ to be friendly with ya, that’s all. Now how’s about that drink, huh?” 

He attempted to touch her when she aggressively moved her shoulder away from him. 

“I told you I wasn’t interested, now if you’ll kindly leave me alone.” 

Candy shouted, “Charlie!” 

Alice hurried inside the house. Charlie turned and saw Candy. 

“Oh, hey there, Candy. I didn’t see you standing there.” 

Candy walked up to him and asked, “Charlie, what do you think you were doing?” He placed his hands on his hips. 

Charlie replied, “Oh, I’s just being friendly to Joe’s woman there.” 

“I know what you were doing, Charlie and you’re very lucky Joe wasn’t there to see it or else we’d be carrying you out of here in a pine box right now.” 

“Oh, I wadn’t doin’ anything wrong,” Charlie countered. 

“Charlie, she’s a married woman!” 

Charlie scoffed. “Oh, she don’t even know who he is! I don’t see no harm in…” 

Candy barked, “She’s also our boss’s daughter-in-law, so I want you to stay clear away from her, all right?” 

“Oh, you can’t tell me to do nothin’, you ain’t one of them Cartwrights.” 

Candy sighed. “Then you’re leaving me no choice. I convinced Mr. Cartwright to hire you, so you’re my responsibility. And I’m gonna have to let you go. I’ll have Mr. Cartwright gather what he owes you.” 

Candy started to head towards the house when he heard Charlie shout, “Well, we’ll see what Cartwright has to say about that now, huh?” 

Candy turned around and held his hand up to him. “Charlie, go…sleep it off.” 

Candy waved him off and walked over to the house while Charlie headed back into the barn. 

***

A little while later, Candy explained to Ben what happened with Charlie and Alice. Ben leaned back against his desk with Candy standing in front of him. 

“I’m sorry, but I had to let him go. I figured he was my responsibility since I was the one who brought him here. I thought we could look past his drinking because he’s a good worker, but I guess we can’t. I just didn’t want to let it go past without you knowing about it.” 

Ben nodded his head slightly. “Well, thank you for telling me. And I agree with your decision, Candy.” 

Joe came out of the kitchen when he overheard Candy. 

“The only problem now is whether we should tell Joe.” 

Ben said with uneasiness in his voice, “Well, you know Joe as well as I do. You know what he’d do if and when he finds out.” 

“Find out what?” Joe asked. 

Ben and Candy turned and saw Joe standing there. They both hesitated to respond. 

Joe pressed, “Come on, what’s the secret?” 

Ben sighed. “Candy told me there was an incident that happened a bit ago with Alice and one of the new hired hands, Charlie.” 

Joe exchanged a few quick glances between Candy and his pa. “What happened?” 

Candy said, “When I was coming out of the barn, I saw Charlie talking with Alice. He was drunk and…he came onto her. I’m sorry, Joe, it’s my fault, I should have…” 

Before Candy could finish his sentence, Joe stormed out the door. 

Ben moved away from his desk and shouted, “Joseph!” 

Ben and Candy exchanged glances and hurried out the door after him. 

Charlie was in the barn putting his saddle away when Joe walked inside. 

He stared at Charlie; brows furrowed, fists clenched into a ball. Joe grabbed him by the collar and then threw him down into the hay. Charlie rolled over when Joe picked him up off the ground and then slammed him up against the barn wall. 

Joe growled, “You think it’s funny to mess with another man’s wife, do you? Huh?” 

Charlie stammered, “No. No, I ain’t messin’ with ya, Joe. Honest.” 

Joe seethed with anger as he slammed Charlie back again and yelled, “What did you do to her? What did you do?” 

“Joseph!” Ben shouted. “Joe, let him go.” 

Joe turned and saw Ben, along with Candy standing at the barn doors. Joe turned back to Charlie and stared daggers at him before he warned, “Stay away from my wife. You hear me?” 

Joe loosened his grip on him and started to walk away when Charlie tackled him to the ground in a fury. They were soon wrestling with each other. Joe grabbed Charlie and punched him in the face.  

Ben shouted, “Joseph!” 

He hurried over to them and pulled Joe off of Charlie. Joe shook his whole body violently to break free of Ben’s grasp while Candy grabbed hold of Charlie and held him back. 

Ben said, sternly, “Joseph, stop. Candy, get him out of here now. I’ll deal with him later.” 

Candy took hold of Charlie’s arm and they headed out of the barn. Joe glared at Charlie and then shrugged himself off of Ben. 

Ben tried to keep his temper under control while he spoke. “Joe, I know you’re angry right now and you have a right to be, but that doesn’t help the situation any now does it?” 

Joe’s chest heaved as he huffed, “I never should have left her alone.” 

“Joe, you can’t have someone watch her at every moment of every day, it’s just not possible. Not even you can do it all by yourself!” Ben told him, exasperated. 

“Well, I can’t just let her leave the ranch either!” Joe shouted before storming out of the barn. 

Ben gave a frustrated sigh and followed after him. 

Outside, Ben saw Joe walking off towards the house and called out to him when Jamie walked up to him while pulling on the reins of Josephine. “Pa?” 

Ben cautioned, “Jamie, whatever it is, now is not a good time.” 

“But I found Josephine, Pa. She was wandering out by Willow Crest.” 

Joe stared at the horse and said, “Get rid of that horse.” 

Jamie crinkled his eyebrows as he looked over at Joe. 

Ben spoke. “Joe…” 

Joe fought back tears as he said, “That horse is the reason my life with Alice is over…I never want to see that animal again.” 

Ben turned to Jamie and told him, “Jamie, put the horse in the barn would you please?” 

“Sure, Pa.” 

Jamie pulled Josephine into the barn while Ben made his way over to Joe. 

Joe kicked at some wooden boards on the ground as he came up to the porch. He placed his arms over the railing and leaned against it, rubbing his temple. 

Ben came up to him and said, “So, now you’re blaming a horse for what’s in its nature?” 

“Pa, if Alice had never ridden that horse, this never would have happened,” Joe told him in frustration. 

“Maybe not, but the point is it was an accident. There’s nobody to blame. Not even yourself.”

“It’s been nearly a week and she still doesn’t remember. And I don’t think she ever will,” Joe said. 

“You don’t know that, Joe.” 

Joe’s breath shuddered. “I can’t keep doing this, Pa. I can’t keep pretending that I don’t know her. That we’re not married, that she isn’t my wife, that we don’t have a child together. I can’t hold her, I can’t kiss her, I can’t tell her how much I love her. I just, I can’t do this anymore.” 

Ben shrugged his shoulders. “So you give up? You feel it’s a lost cause and so you want to give up.” He pointed to the barn. “What about that mare we found with a lame leg, Josephine? I felt it wasn’t worth the trouble because of how badly she was hurt. But you did. You didn’t feel it was a lost cause. You wanted to give her a chance and you did everything you possibly could to help that horse walk again. Now if you’re willing to go out of your way to help a lame horse…why can’t you do the same for your own wife?” Joe stood there motionless when Ben then told him, “And might I remind you of those vows you pledged to her when you married her. You promised to love, honor and cherish her in sickness and in health. Through the joys and the sorrows. As long as you both shall live.” 

Tears spilled down Joe’s cheeks. “You don’t understand, Pa.” 

Ben could no longer hold back his anger. “I don’t understand? Well, let me tell you something else. If you remember, I lost your mother in the same way. And I would rather her wake up not knowing who I am because at least she’d still be alive!” he scowled. 

Joe stared at Ben, wide-eyed when they heard the sound of little Sara Marie crying from upstairs. 

Joe sighed in frustration and asked, “Who’s watching the baby?” 

Ben calmed himself and told him, “Mrs. Bennett had to make a run into town. She said she’d be back sometime this afternoon.” 

Joe stormed into the house. Ben sighed as the hope he had slowly began to dwindle away as well. 

Joe walked down the hallway and came up to Hoss’s old bedroom. He saw the door open and Alice holding Sara in her arms. Joe paused as he stared at them. Sara made a soft cooing noise making Alice smile when she saw Joe at the door. 

“Oh. I heard the cries and for some strange reason, I felt compelled to come in here.” Joe scrunched his eyebrows slightly before he stepped through the door. Alice said, “She’s very beautiful.” 

Joe could barely speak. “She is.” 

Alice asked, “Is she yours?” 

Joe nodded. “Yeah.” 

Alice smiled. “I can tell. You both have the same eyes. She also has your curls.” 

“And your smile.” Joe thought. 

Alice played around with her little hand. “What’s her name?” 

“Sara. Sara Marie. She’s named after my mother,” Joe told her. 

“Oh, well, it’s a very lovely name. Where is her mother?” 

Joe swallowed as he tried to come up with an answer. Alice’s demeanor changed. 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” 

Joe’s eyes widened as he realized she thought her mother was dead. Joe’s whole body tensed as he struggled to keep his composure. 

Alice said with a smile, “She stopped crying the moment I took her in my arms. She must like me.” 

“I guess you just have a special way with her,” Joe said. 

“Maybe.” She handed Sara over to Joe. “I better go get the wash started. I promised Hop Sing I would help with the laundry. It was the least I could do to repay you for your kindness.” 

“You don’t owe us anything,” Joe told her. 

Alice shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I want to. It gives me something to do after being cooped up in that room for so long. Anyway, I’ll see you at supper I suppose?”

“Yeah.” 

“All right. See you at supper.” 

Joe gave a faint smile. “See ya.” 

After Alice left the room, Joe looked down at their daughter who reached her little hand up to him. He leaned in and kissed her forehead before he placed her back in her cradle. He took one last look at her before he walked out the door. 

Chapter Five 

The next day, Doc Martin stopped by for a visit to check on Alice and her progress. Ben, Adam and Joe waited in the living room when Doc Martin descended the stairs. Joe hurried over to him. 

“How is she?” Joe asked, anxiously. 

“Well, she seems to be doing better physically, but mentally is a different story unfortunately. It seems as though her memory isn’t returning as soon as we had hoped. So, now there are some decisions to be made.” 

Ben crinkled his eyebrows and asked, “What do you mean by decisions, doctor?”

“Well, the longer she stays here, the harder it’s going to be on her and on you, Joe. If her memory does not return soon, you may have no choice but to let her go her own way.” 

Joe stared at Doc Martin in disbelief. “You mean just let her leave?”

“Yes. We let her find out who she is on her own.” 

Joe said, nearly in tears, “Doc, she’s my wife. I can’t just let her leave.” 

“I know it’s hard, but you can’t tell her who she is and you can’t keep letting her stay there either without her asking questions.” 

Joe told him, “But she said it herself that she’s feeling things she can’t explain. She feels a connection to me, to our baby. A mother never forgets her own child.” 

Doc Martin tilted his head to the right and said, “That may be so, but her memory is still fighting its way back. We can’t force it to come back, pushing her to remember will only make things worse for her.” 

Joe asked in frustration, “How do we know what it would do? Maybe if we just tried it.” 

“It’s still too risky. I’m sorry, but it’s the best thing we can do for her right now.” 

“The best thing? How can being with her family not be the best thing for her?” 

Doc Martin sighed and said with sympathy in his voice, “I’m sorry, truly I am, but there isn’t anything else we can do for her at this point. You’re going to have to let her decide for herself what she wants to do.” 

Joe’s muscles tightened as he fought to keep his composure. 

Doc Martin said, “I need to get back to my office, but let me know what you decide to do.” 

“We will, thank you for your help, Paul,” Ben said and walked him to the door. 

Doc Martin paused at the door and said, “In time, her memory could still come back to her, Ben. And if it does, I’m sure she’ll find her way back home again.” 

Doc Martin wished him and Adam a good evening and left. 

Joe took a breath. “It isn’t fair, Pa. I shouldn’t have to just forget about her and move on with my life. She is my life.” 

Ben walked over to him and said, “Doc Martin isn’t suggesting for you to forget about her.” 

“Well, it certainly sounds that way to me.” Joe sighed and told him, “I can’t just let her go, Pa, I can’t. I won’t.”

“Joe, I know this isn’t easy for you. But he has a point.” 

Joe argued, “You really want me to just let her go and expect me to be okay with it and pretend like nothing ever happened?” 

“Of course not. But we can’t just keep her here against her own will either. To her we are still merely acquaintances, not her family.” 

“But we are her family, Pa.” Joe stared up at the staircase. “I’m gonna tell her.” 

Joe started to ascend the stairs when Ben grabbed hold of his arm. 

“Joseph, you can’t.” 

“Why not?” Joe shouted. 

“You know why,” Ben said. 

Adam moved away from the fireplace mantel. “Listen to him, Joe.” 

“Stay out of this, Adam!” Joe barked. 

Ben pleaded, “Son, please try and understand. If you tell her…” 

Joe yanked his arm away from Ben and yelled, “Well, I don’t care what it does!” 

He stormed over to Ben’s desk and rested his hands on top of it as his chest heaved. 

Ben glanced over at Adam and walked up to Joe. He took a breath. “All right, suppose you tell her the truth and she believes you, what then? You just get back to your own lives and pretend that everything is normal? Well, it wouldn’t be normal, Joe, no matter how much you want it to be. She would only be with you because you forced her into a life she doesn’t remember. Her love for you wouldn’t be the same as it was before. You can’t make her love you in the same way she did before because she wouldn’t remember why she loved you in the first place. You can’t force love, Joe. Real love. It doesn’t work that way. Now, if you truly loved her, you would give her the chance to love you on her own and that would be to let her go.” 

Tears spilled down Joe’s cheeks. Ben tried to hold back tears himself as he placed his hand on his shoulder. 

“I know how painful it is, believe me. I remember how painful it was when I had to let your brother, Hoss go. But I also knew that I couldn’t force him to stay with us. We had to let him come back on his own.” 

“What if she never comes back to me, Pa?” 

“She will. In time I believe her memory will be restored and then nothing will stop her from getting back to you again.” 

“I just don’t think I have the strength,” Joe said. 

Ben squeezed his shoulder. “Find it. You find the strength to let her go.” 

Joe took a brief pause before he headed outside. 

Adam came up behind Ben and told him, “He’ll be all right.” 

Ben wanted to believe that, but deep down he wasn’t sure. “I hope so, Adam. I really do.” 

***

Joe rode up to a spot on the Ponderosa overlooking the lake where he had taken Alice a number of times. He took a seat on a rock and stared out at the lake. 

There was a gentle breeze as Joe thought back to the first time he brought Alice there. They sat side-by-side together, staring at the lake. 

“Did you know I spent my whole life in the city dreaming of a place like this? Somewhere quiet, clean.” 

“I’m glad you didn’t stay in the city.” 

“Me too.” 

Joe’s thoughts drifted to the morning before the accident. They were lying in bed together; Alice’s head lying on his chest. 

“I wish we could just stay like this forever.” 

Joe wished he could stop that moment in time, but he knew it wasn’t possible. His mind became filled with one memory after the other. The moment when Joe first saw Alice in her wedding dress as she walked down the aisle. The moment he carried her inside their new home for the first time as husband and wife. The joy at finding out they were having a baby. 

A mirage of memories played out in his mind as he tried to hold onto every single one of them and grieved for the fact that for Alice they may be lost forever. But he wouldn’t lose them, not ever. Tears streamed down his face as he closed his eyes and gathered all the strength he had to let her go. 

***

Later that night, Joe opened the door to his old bedroom and saw Alice sound asleep in bed. He came up to her bedside and gently sat down on the edge of it. 

Joe fixed his gaze on her and thought of how beautiful she looked. He tenderly moved his hand along her hair, leaned in and kissed her forehead. He pressed his head against hers and whispered, “I love you.” He kissed her again and got up from the bed. 

He headed to the door and took one last look at her before leaving the bedroom. 

***

The next morning, Alice stirred a little as she squinted her eyes and then opened them. She looked around the room and slowly lifted her head up. She got up from the bed and headed out the door, grabbing her robe on the way out. 

Joe was downstairs asleep on the settee. Alice came up to him and lightly shook his shoulder. 

“Joe?” Joe stirred and then opened his eyes. 

“Oh. Hey.” Joe rubbed his tired eyes and yawned. “I must have dozed off,” he said. 

Alice asked, “Why were you sleeping down here?” 

Joe crinkled his eyebrows. “Well, I uh…” 

Alice’s lips formed a little smirk. “Oh, I know. You left the window open again and it was too cold for you to sleep, so you slept down here, right?” Joe stared at her in confusion. She said, “Well, anyway. Do you remember why we spent the night at your pa’s? I don’t even remember coming here.” Joe laid there dumbfounded. Alice sighed. “Well, I suppose we could have breakfast here before we head back home. I’m sure Hop Sing wouldn’t mind.” 

Joe stared at her wide-eyed in disbelief. “Home? You mean our home?” 

Alice smiled. “Yes, of course our home, silly. What do you think I mean?” Joe’s mouth opened, unable to form words. 

Alice said, “I better go get dressed and then check on the baby. I hope she was able to sleep through the night. She’s been fighting that dreadful cold. You better get dressed too and wash those hands. You know how your pa is.” She gave a soft chuckle. “I won’t be long.” She leaned in and kissed him. 

She started to move when Joe shot up from the settee and grabbed hold of her face in his hands. His voice trembled, “You know who I am?” 

Alice shook her head at him in annoyance. “Joe, I don’t have time for any games right now. I need to get dressed, okay?” 

She turned when Joe grabbed her shoulders and turned her back around to him. He asked, “No, do you know who I am. Who I really am?” 

Alice rolled her eyes and sighed. “All right, I’ll play along. You are my husband who is going to be in a lot of trouble if he does not get himself ready on time for breakfast.” 

A wide smile spread across Joe’s face as he burst into tears before wrapping his arms around her tight. “Oh, thank God!” 

Startled, Alice asked, “Joe, what is it? What’s wrong?” 

Joe took her face and said, “Nothing’s wrong. Absolutely nothing.” 

He pulled her in and kissed her before he shouted for his pa. 

Alice said in concern, “Joe, what’s gotten into you?” 

Ben came out of the kitchen in a frenzy. “Joe? What’s wrong?” 

Joe came up to Ben, pulling Alice along by the hand. 

“Pa.” He looked at Alice and put his arm around her. “I’m gonna take Alice home.” 

Ben scrunched his eyebrows at him in confusion. Alice placed her hand on Joe’s chest and said, “I honestly don’t know what’s gotten into this husband of mine, Ben, but he’s acting awfully strange.” 

Ben stared at Alice before it hit him and a big smile spread across his face. He said, excitedly, “Well, you’re going home, there’s certainly nothing strange about that. In fact, why don’t we have supper at your place tonight to celebrate.” 

“Celebrate what?” Alice asked. 

Ben shrugged his shoulders and said, enthusiastically, “Well, there doesn’t always need to be a reason to have a celebration, does there?” 

Alice shook her head and remarked, “I’m starting to think that whatever is going on with you two is hereditary.” 

Ben chuckled. “I’ll go tell Hop Sing the news.” 

After Ben hurried back into the kitchen, Alice looked at Joe and said, “Well, I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m glad to see you both so happy.” 

Joe said, “I am happy. I’m happier than I have ever been in my entire life.” He took her hands in his. “And I wanna tell you something else. I never want to take anything for granted ever again.” He gently placed his hands up to the side of her face. “You are mine and nothing is gonna take you away from me ever again. Never.” He kissed her passionately and then nuzzled his head against hers before he whispered, “Forever.” 

Alice gazed into his eyes and whispered back to him, “Forever.” 

***

Later that morning, Joe helped Alice onto the buggy and then handed little Sara over to her. Alice looked over at Ben and Adam standing near the doorway and said, “It was lovely to see you again, Adam. Say hello to the family for me.”  

Adam gave her a warm smile. “I will.” 

Joe climbed into the buggy and said, “See you at supper, Pa.” 

“See you, Joe,” Ben said with a smile. 

Joe turned to Alice and kissed her. “I love you. I love you so much.” 

With a loving gaze, she repeated the words to him. 

Joe kissed her again and then whipped the reinsto the buggy. Ben, along with Adam waved to them before they headed back inside the house. 

The End 

Author’s notes: This story was inspired by the episode, A Stranger Passed This Way.