Summary: After Inger’s death Ben, Adam and baby Hoss journey west. Adam makes a new friend and the family find a new home.
Rating: G (16,070 words)

Among Tall Trees

He wasn’t sure what had awakened him, somewhere in the darkness there was a noise that didn’t belong.  The small boy sat up in his cramped bunk built into the side of the wagon.  His dark eyes troubled and his usual serious expression deepened into a frown.  It wasn’t his nightmare that had awakened him, although he’d had them often enough in the past month.  It sure was cold in the desert at night and he shivered, how could it be so hot in the day and so cold at night, he wondered. He listened again, maybe it was the baby crying, but no, it couldn’t be, his baby brother wasn’t in this wagon but with Mrs Oakes and her baby.  He didn’t understand that either.  He had argued with Pa that the baby should be with them. They were a family.  But Pa had been angry and had told him that they couldn’t take care of a baby now that Mama was dead.  It had something to do with Mrs Oakes having a slightly older baby of her own, so she could feed him, so Pa said.   He didn’t think that was right; after all he could cook beans and bacon; Mama had taught him and she had shown him how to milk the cow and she was going to show him how to make bread.  A small tear slid down his cheek.  She wouldn’t teach him now.  She would never read to him or tell him stories or sing her lovely Swedish songs ever again.

Unlike other six-year-olds, Adam knew exactly what hardship was. He knew hunger, cold, mind numbing poverty and even death.  Death meant that someone you loved was gone forever.  He knew his mother had died giving birth to him and that made Pa sad and angry.  His little friend, Matthew, had got sick and died too and they had buried him and rolled the wagons over his grave to stop the wolves and coyotes digging up the body.  The sudden death of his beloved stepmother, the only mother he had ever known, was perhaps the most devastating of all.  He hadn’t done anything to protect her.  She had taken up a gun and fought like the men while he cowered in a corner with the baby.   He should have taken her place, he was a man and men protected their womenfolk.  He knew that was why Pa was sad and angry again just like he had been before they met Inger.  He sat up in bed and hugged his knees, resting his dark head against the wagon canvas.   Inger had cooked good things and taught him to play games and to read and to add numbers but most important of all she had made Pa smile.  While she was there he’d had two parents who cared about him just like other little boys.  Pa had done things with him, beginning to teach him to track and to drive the wagon and they had been a real family, but for so short a time.  Another tear slipped down his cheek and he wiped it away with the back of his hand.  They weren’t a family anymore.  Pa was quiet and often cross and he could only see his baby brother once a day when Mrs Oakes permitted it.  “Oh Mama, why did you fight, why didn’t you stay with me and Hoss and be safe.”  He thought.  Yes, safe, that’s what he had been, hadn’t he?  He was a coward and she had died because of him.

He was startled from his thoughts by that sound again.  It was someone sobbing, not baby cries, not even a child crying, but someone fighting not to cry, trying to be quiet and yet not quite succeeding.  Adam knew that sound. Heaven knows he had made it often enough when Pa was mad at him and he was trying hard not to cry, ‘cos that only made Pa more angry or more sad.  He crept from his bed and peered out of the wagon into the darkness.  It wasn’t as dark as he had expected.  There was a half moon and the campfire was still alight.  Beside the fire his father sat with his head in his hands, weeping softly.

Adam’s mouth dropped open. Grown-ups didn’t cry. Pa never cried.  He crept down the wagon steps and ventured closer.  Yes, Pa was sniffing and trying not to cry, just as he did sometimes alone in the dark.  The rough sandy ground was cold and scratchy on his bare feet and a chill wind whipped at his night shirt but he couldn’t leave Pa like this.  He knew that when he cried for his mother what he really wanted was a hug from Pa; maybe Pa needed a hug too.  He reached out a tentative hand then withdrew it before he touched his father.  Pa rarely hugged him, that was something mothers did and he didn’t have one of those.  Pa always told him to be strong, to be a man about hardships and he had learned to do that as much as he could because it made Pa happy.  His Pa had enough worries without Adam adding to them, so he kept his moments of sadness and fear to himself as much as possible.

Slowly feeling braver he reached out his hand again and this time he slipped it into his father’s big hand and squeezed.  “Don’t cry Pa, please don’t cry.”  He said softly.

Ben shot up from his seat startled and embarrassed.  “What are you doing out of bed, young man?  You get back there right now.”  He said sternly, making Adam release the hand and step backwards.

Adam’s eyes opened wide in surprise at his father’s abrupt action but he wasn’t surprised at the tone, as he had expected, he had simply made Pa mad at him.  He ran back to the wagon and climbed inside to curl up on his bed and bury his head in his pillow.  He wouldn’t cry; he just wouldn’t.  He was a big boy now and he had to be brave.

Ben bit his lip; the boy had surprised him.  He didn’t want his son to think him weak.  He had to be strong for all of them.  He regretted his hasty words though and walked slowly to the wagon.  He climbed inside and squatted down by the bed, his hand hovering over the bump in the blanket and the dark head which was all he could see.  He wanted to reach out and hug the little boy; he needed a hug as much as his son but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  “Adam, son, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shout. You startled me.”

Adam sat up his small pinched face very serious. “I’m sorry Papa.”  He said softly, using the name he hadn’t used since babyhood.  Then pulling on some strength that Ben couldn’t see he kept back his tears and touched his father’s hand.  “It’ll be all right Pa; tomorrow we get to the mountains don’t we?  There’ll be water and trees and it’s not far to California from there is it?  We can see the ocean in California, like in Boston can’t we?”

Ben couldn’t help but smile.  His little son had never seen the ocean; they had left Boston when he was a tiny baby.  He couldn’t possibly know what it was like except from stories but somehow in his six-year-old mind the ocean meant home and happiness.

“We’ll have a real cabin of our very own. Mama said we are going to build a farm and that at Christmas we can have a real tree and Santa will know where to visit an’ …” He stopped and his eyes went to his father’s in alarm, he knew Pa hated him to mention his own mother, perhaps now that she had died he wasn’t supposed to mention Mama either.

Then Ben couldn’t stop himself he pulled the little boy on to his knee and hugged.  “Yes son, she did. We are we’re going to build a farm for Mama just like she always dreamed of and you are going to grow up among tall trees like your mother’s dream for you.”

Adam didn’t understand it all but Pa was hugging him and it felt good.  “Tell me a story about your ship, Pa.”  He whispered sleepily.

Ben settled down beside his son and began to weave a tale of ships and storms and icebergs, enough to satisfy any small boy’s wish for adventure.  Before he was half finished Adam’s eyes had closed and his breathing had become gentle and regular as he slept.  Ben covered him with the blanket and stroked a stray lock of hair off the boy’s forehead.  “Sleep well son, we’ve a long hard road ahead of us if we’re going to make those dreams come true.”

They didn’t reach the mountains the next day or the next.  Adam seated high up on the wagon seat could see the purple haze of mountains in the distance but they never seemed to get any nearer.  He felt himself lucky when he was allowed to ride; mostly they walked on the hot sand.  To begin with he had wished for a breeze to cool him but when it came it only brought sandstorms, stinging hands and faces and making him choke.  Water and food were rationed and he longed for a cool drink of water but there was none until the noon camp when they would rest through the hottest part of the day, even then the water would be warm and have a bad taste.   He began to doze on the seat. There was nothing to see except more sand and the occasional lizard.  He had caught a few but they either died or escaped.  His head was nodding, when out of the corner of his eye he saw something new which made him shudder; the skull of some large animal and then the rest of its bones picked clean by buzzards and other scavengers.

He gasped.  “Pa, look!”  He pointed at the bleached bones.

Ben turned to him and nodded.  “We’ll see more of those son.  That’s why the water is rationed.  We must water the stock or they will die and we’ll have nothing to pull the wagons.  The people before us must have had too little water and their animals died.”  He explained.

“What about the people, Pa?”  Adam asked anxiously.  “Did they die too?” His small face creased with worry.

“I hope not, son.  Back at Fort Bridger the trappers tell tall tales of this desert but we know wagons have made it to California and sent reports back to help us.”  He smiled at the boy.  “We’ll be fine, won’t we?”

Adam’s chest puffed up with pride. These were the moments he liked best, when Pa treated him like a grown up and confidante.

For two more days Adam walked or occasionally rode in the wagon until he was so tired that putting one foot in front of the other was as much as he could manage, but he didn’t complain.  He hadn’t bothered to see Hoss for three days and sometimes he envied him being in the wagon all the time but on other occasions he hated the heat of being under the canvas.  Late on the afternoon of the next day he noticed that the air seemed cooler and that he was walking through sagebrush where the ground was rockier and firmer.  He lifted his head for the first time in days and grinned.

“Pa, the mountains, we’re almost there.”  He shouted.

Ben looked up too; his eyes had been on the oxen who were flagging from the heat and lack of water.  “Yes son, we’re almost in the mountains.”

That night they camped beside a trail that had brown grass and a few scattered flowers with the foothills just ahead of them.    Adam was supposed to go to bed after supper but Pa had gone to a camp meeting and he wanted to hear what was said about the next part of the journey.  He crept from his bed and hid himself behind one of the wagons to listen.   He knew he would be in trouble for eavesdropping and for being out of bed, if he was caught, but he had to know.

“Well that makes seven wagons heading south down the valley towards the Mormon settlement we heard about and crossing south of the big lake and ten heading for the northern route on Bidwell’s map.”  The wagon master unrolled a map from an oilskin cover and laid it out, pointing out each route as he spoke.  “We cross the river here, north of the lake and head up into the pass that’s supposed to be here.”  He jabbed a finger at the map.  “We head for Sutter’s Fort from there.”  He looked around the group.  “That leaves three of you undecided.  You’re gonna have to make up your minds by tomorrow night.”

Ben and two other men nodded.  “This settlement to the south of the lake…do we know how big it is?”  Ben asked.

The wagon master consulted a piece of paper, “Says here it has a trading post and a safe enclosure, but not much else.  It’s called Mormon Station.”

Another of the men leaned over the map.  “Pity there’s nothing to the North, a trading post around here…”  He pointed at a river crossing.  “…would be a good business.”

The wagon master began folding the map.  “We can’t take more than a day or two moving through the valley we need to clear the pass before the first snows and they could be later this month.”

The meeting was slowly breaking up and Adam saw his father start to rise.  He hurriedly backed away from the wagon that had been his hiding place and race back to his own.  He had just snuggled down under his blanket when he heard his father’s tread on the wagon step.

“Adam, are you asleep?”  Ben called.  He had seen a flash of white night-shirt as he rounded the corner from the next wagon in line.

“Yes, Pa.”  Adam chuckled at the joke.  “Which way are we going?”

“Oh, so you’ve been sneaking out of bed, have you young man?”  Ben said sternly but with an amused twinkle in his eye.

Adam sat up in bed and hugged his knees.  “We’re gonna see Sutter’s Fort and the ocean ain’t we Pa?”

Ben frowned and then shook his head and smiled.  “That’s your decision, is it?  We go north?”

Adam nodded.  “I want to see the ocean and the trees.”

“Well, there are trees around here you can see them on the slopes.”  Seeing Adam’s disappointed expression, he smiled.  “Yes, we’ll go north.  I’ve heard a lot about Sutter’s Fort.  Colonel Sutter has planted lots of fruit trees and has a big ranch there and there is a settlement and maybe a school for you.”  He ruffled Adam’s hair.  “Can’t have you growing up with no schooling, can we?”

“I can read already, Pa and add big numbers.”  Adam said proudly.

Ben hugged him.  “I know you can and you’re gonna be a big help to me on our farm.  The land around the fort is supposed to be good for crops.”  He tucked the blanket firmly around his son.  “Now you get to sleep and no more eavesdropping on grown up conversations, young man.”  He said sternly.

Adam grinned.  “Yes, sir…I mean, no, sir.  I only wanted to know if we’d see the ocean soon.”

Ben ruffled his hair once more and tucked the blankets more securely as Adam cuddled down under the covers.  He didn’t add that his decision had most to do with the fact that the Oakes’s were taking the northern route. He knew that without Mrs Oakes’s kindness his baby son wouldn’t have survived to be the fat, cheerful, contented baby he had held in his arms tonight.  Mrs Oakes had assured him that soon Erik could be fed on boiled cow’s milk and with this in mind every extra drop of water for the past weeks had gone to the cow and her calf.  He remembered laughing at Inger when she had referred to the tiny calf as the start of the Cartwright herd, but maybe, just maybe that would now come true.  Only one more mountain pass to negotiate and they would be in California.

The next day Adam enjoyed every minute.  They passed through a lush green valley watered by two lakes and several creeks and rivers and Adam and the other children raced ahead of the wagons.  They waded in the creek, enjoying an excess of water for the first time in weeks, and played hide and seek in the long grasses and by the time the wagons circled for the night they were exhausted.  As the wagons stopped, a band of Indians rode up and wanted to trade.  Adam watched in fascination as the colorful band brought out baskets and pots to trade for other goods.  He was so keen to get near to the band that Ben reluctantly gave up a cooking pot so that the boy could join in the trading and was rewarded with a very proud little boy bearing a huge basket.

The following day they began their climb into the mountains and another band of Indians was seen on the horizon. This time however, the wagon master warned the wagon drivers to close up and load their guns.  Ben stopped the man as he rode by and asked “Aren’t they the same tribe?”

The wagon master shook his head  “No, those yesterday were Washo they are peaceable.  They live by the lake they call Big Water in the Sky and are happy to trade with us. “Those…” he pointed at the band now following them  “They are from the mountains, there are several tribes, Shoshone to the west, Paiute to the north and this group are Bannock and probably the most dangerous.  They will attack at the slightest sign of aggression or weakness, but mostly they steal horses.  Keep the boy by the wagon when we stop.

Ben nodded.  His memories of the Cheyenne attack all too fresh as the Indians moved closer and he could see their lances.

The evening camp was made in the foothills and the wagons made a defensive circle.  The men were assigned guard duties and when Ben tucked Adam into his bunk he made it clear that he was not to leave the wagon no matter what happened.

Adam slept fitfully.  The Indians appeared to be celebrating something, there were drums and shouting and it made sleep difficult. He had lost one parent to Indians  and now his Pa was standing guard all alone out there.  The nightmares that had plagued him since Inger’s death returned to haunt him again.  He knew by listening to the men talking, eavesdropping Pa would call it, that the most likely time for an attack was at dawn.  As the first gray light filtered through the opening in the canvas, the noises from the hills stopped and an eerie silence accompanied the dawn.

The little boy could stand it no longer. He had to be with his father.  He pulled on his pants and shirt and grabbed his boots. It took just seconds to slip from the wagon and creep to where his father was standing guard just a few feet from the front of their wagon.

Ben turned at the sound of soft footsteps and his expression was one of anger.   “Get back to the wagon.”  He ordered.

Adam was scared but he wanted to be with his father.

“I want to help.”  He whispered his white, pinched face anxious.

“I can’t be worrying about you when I may have to fight, Adam.”  Ben responded, still angry, but with a little understanding of the fear his son must feel.  “Now do as you’re told and get back inside and lie flat on the boards.”

“But, Pa…”  Adam protested.

This time Ben took action.  He propelled Adam back to the wagon, helping inside with a mighty swat to his rear end.  “Now stay there or I’ll give you a spanking.”  Ben’s worry turned back to anger again.

Inside the wagon, Adam did as he was bid and curled up on the boards but his tearful eyes followed his father as Ben went back to his post.  The moment he was out of sight, Adam crawled to the opening at the front of the wagon and peered out under the high seat.   He could see the Indians outlined against the lightening sky to the East.  They sat as still as statues.  From the North west came the sound of galloping horses  and his eyes turned that way.  There were maybe forty Indians on horseback grouped together.  Still those on the hill made no move.  The group approaching slowed to a walk and Adam could see a tall imposing Indian with a lot of feathers on his head-dress and a lance with more feathers dangling from it.  He held up the lance and the horses stopped about fifty yards from the encircled wagons.

“I speak, your chief?”  He demanded.

The wagon master moved cautiously to a position half behind a barricade, and to Adam’s horror, his Pa and Mr Oakes moved alongside with their guns held ready.

“I am the chief here.”  The wagon master said quietly  “We intend no harm to your people.  We wish to cross the mountains.”  He pointed to the West.

The Chief nodded.  Land belong, my people.  We guide you to great water and to valley of the white man.”  He waved his lance in the direction of the Indians still outlined on the hill.  “Bannock kill, we Paiute, we trade, keep peace.”

Adam watched as the three men lowered their guns and the Chief dismounted.  The other Indians followed their Chief’s lead, all but four who remained mounted as if on guard for the others.  He kept watch as the men of the train sat down and the Indian Chief began to talk in a mixture of sign language and broken English.

“I great guide.”  The Chief boasted.  “I guide white man, Fremont, he give me…”  He held out a dollar gold piece.

Over the next two days the Chief kept his word, he guided the wagons into the mountains and over what seemed like an impossible pass.  His braves also showed the men where to hunt for game.  Adam rode on the wagon seat and watched every move the Indians made, everything about them fascinated him from their strange speech and clothes to the food they ate.  He took to hanging around their camp and it wasn’t long before one of the braves beckoned to him to join them.  The Indian showed him his bow and then the tomahawk and allowed the boy to hold it and if Ben hadn’t come along at that moment he would have shown Adam how to throw it.  Ben hustled Adam away and delivered a stern lecture on staying away but the fascination was too great.

The very next day at the noon stop Adam crept away to find the friendly Indian again.  By the time a very angry Ben had caught up with him, he had made friends with a boy who was perhaps a year or so older than he was. He was seated by a fire, eating some of their strange chewy meat and trying to ask questions in sign language.

Adam looked up, his mouth full of food.  “Pa… this is Young Wolf he’s the Chief’s son.”  He said proudly, so intent on his new friend that he didn’t see the warning signs in his father.

Ben hauled him to his feet and shook him.  “Don’t you ever wander off like that again.”  He growled.

“But Pa, I was only…”

“And don’t answer back.”  He continued in the same gruff tone, marching Adam back to the wagon where he delivered a sound spanking and a lecture on the dangers of running off from the wagons.  He was more worried than angry.  Adam always wanted answers and sometimes he ignored his father’s warnings to get them and put himself in danger.

Adam threw himself on his bunk and cried, it wasn’t fair, he had only been trying to make friends and find out how the Indians lived in this wilderness.  Why couldn’t Pa understand that?  The next day, he sat in uncomfortable and sulky silence next to his father on the wagon seat as they climbed over the pass and descended into a glacial valley.  Through the trees the sun glinted on an incredibly blue expanse of water that stretched almost as far as the eye could see.  Despite his bad mood Adam couldn’t help but feel an uplift in his spirits at the beautiful scenery.   He turned nervously to his father.

“Is…is that…the ocean, Pa?”

Ben suppressed a smile and shook his head.  It was the first thing the boy had said all morning.  “No, son.  It’s a very big lake but not the ocean.  We have a ways to go yet before we reach the ocean.  There’s another range of mountains to cross before we get to the valley of the Sacramento.”  He pointed to snow capped peaks on the other side of the lake.  “When we reach the ocean you won’t be able to see the land on the other side.”  He reached over and ruffled Adam’s hair.  This place made him feel good and he didn’t want the strain between them to grow.  Adam had a tendency to sulk and he did his best to discourage it; he knew it was one of his own bad characteristics or had been when he was young.

“The trees are real tall, Pa.  It’s like the places Mama talked about in her land, isn’t it?”  Adam continued.  He felt better now that he was talking to Pa again, he hated the silences but he was always too proud or too hurt to break them easily.

Ben shook the reins to hurry the oxen a little.  “Yes, it’s like Mama’s country.”  Ben said softly, remembering the way Inger had talked about her childhood in Sweden.

“Why don’t we stop here, Pa?”  Adam asked his face upturned to his father.  “It’s got grass and water and lots of tall trees just like you said?”

Ben smiled.  “I don’t think that would be a good idea son, there are no towns or stores, no people, not much of anything but the Indians and they aren’t all friendly.”

Adam settled back in silence to drink in the beauty of the scenery.  He didn’t see why they needed all those things Pa had mentioned.  He didn’t care for the towns they had visited; they never had any money to spend in stores except for essential items and he and Pa, and now little Hoss, didn’t need other people.  He and Pa had come all this way by themselves, why did they need to settle where there were people?

The wagons descended to a rough trail by the lake and that night they circled in a small area of flat ground by the lake.  Long after darkness fell, Ben sat staring into the fire, his thoughts a jumble and his emotions very near the surface.  He felt a small hand creep into his and looked up to see Adam barefoot and in his night-shirt.

“It’ll be all right, Pa.”  Adam whispered.

“Yes son, it will be all right.”  Ben whispered back drawing him into a hug.

After a three day rest, the wagons prepared to move on toward the pass into California.  Ben was almost ready to set off when he realised that Adam was missing again.

“Where is that boy?”  He complained to no one in particular as he began his search, his temper growing shorter with every step.  Obviously one spanking wasn’t enough for him to learn the lesson.  Just wait until he got hold of him this time!  He scrambled down a bank and saw the youngster below him on the beach.

Adam was skimming stones across the calm waters of the lake, making them skip three or four times.  The intense concentration of the little boy’s face made his father smile, despite his irritation.  He moved closer until he was only a few feet from the boy.

“Adam!”  He spoke sharply and the boy’s dark head jerked up guiltily.  “How many times have I told you not to wander off?  We’re waiting to leave.  We can’t stay here any longer.”

“Why not?”  Adam answered with all the innocence of a six-year-old.  “It’s got good grass and lots of trees.  You said you wanted tall trees and these are the tallest anywhere.”

Ben looked around him.  It was a beautiful spot.  “Well because we are going to California,” he said lamely, no other reason coming into his head.

Adam looked across the lake.  “But you said that was California and it looks just the same.  I want to stay here.”  His small face was set in a stubborn frown.  He was tired of traveling.  He wanted a home that stayed in one place.

Ben could see a tantrum brewing, so he decided to turn the question around.  “Why?”  He asked.  Adam could always be side-tracked by a grown-up discussion far easier than by an order.

Adam looked at his father in amazement.  “‘Cos it feels like a good place.  We could build a house in the meadows and me and Hoss could play here.  It would be home like…like Mama wanted,” he finished apprehensively.

Ben raised an eyebrow.  “Wouldn’t you be lonely?”

Adam’s expression turned to one of scorn.  “I got you and Hoss, why would I be lonely?”

Ben shook his head and looked up at the mountains.  At that moment the rising sun from the East lit up the cross of snow on Mount Tallac and sent warm shafts of sunlight into the pines.  The sight disturbed him.  “C’mon we have to get back to the wagons.”  He said sharply, taking Adam’s hand and almost dragging him along despite the boy’s protests.

They arrived back at the wagons as the wagon master was rounding up the stranglers.  “You ready Mr Cartwright?  We should be moving on, snows aren’t too far off and I don’t want to be caught in those mountains.”

Ben looked down at the unhappy boy beside him and then back at the mountains. Some strange force was drawing him into its web. “We’re not going on.”  He said softly, surprising himself almost as much as the others.  “We’re staying here, this is our home.”

Adam’s smile resembled a sunrise.  He shook loose from his father’s hand and bounded over to where Hoss was being held by one of the women.  He carefully took the baby from the woman’s arms.  “It’s okay, Mrs Oakes, we’re staying here.  We’re home.  I’ll take care of my brother now.”  He said proudly.

The woman looked at Ben as if he had gone mad.  “You’re crazy,” she said.  “You’ll kill them both – and yourself, too.  That baby’s too young to be out here and the boy’s scarcely able to take care of himself. ”

Ben shook his head.  “We’ll stay at the trading post in Mormon Station over the winter.  We’ll be fine.”  He put a hand on Adam’s shoulder, “Like my son says, we’re home.”

Ben stood with his sons at his side as the wagons moved away.  The wagon master had tried hard to dissuade him but he wouldn’t change his mind.  At first, as the wagons began to roll, he smiled confidently, but as the last white topped canvas slipped from sight into the mountains, he swallowed hard and tried to keep the smile pasted in place for Adam’s sake.  Was he being foolish?  Would they die up here miles from the nearest town?

“We’d better get this wagon moving the trading post is more than a day’s ride away.”  He said briskly, hiding his concerns.

Adam looked up at him with a puzzled expression.  “I thought we were staying here?”

Now Ben’s smile was genuine.  “Not right here, son.  Not for the winter.  We will come back in the spring and build a house but now we must find some temporary shelter before the snows come.”  He lifted the baby from Adam’s arms and set him in the soft bed he normally traveled in. It was snugly fitted behind the driver’s seat so that Ben could keep an eye on him while he drove.  He then lifted Adam up on to the seat and climbed up beside him.  An hour later his bright idea didn’t seem so sensible, in fact, it felt down right crazy.  They drove until the sun was high in the sky and then Ben drew the wagon to a halt beside a stream.

“We’d better water the horses and feed ourselves.”  He smiled at Adam.  He no longer felt confident just foolish.  Suddenly the baby let out a loud wail.  Hoss was wet, cold and hungry and he planned to let everyone within a ten mile radius know.  Changing and warming him was easy but the wailing continued and now there was no comforting Mrs Oakes to feed him.  Adam had milked the cow that morning but an old washed out medicine bottle fitted with a makeshift teat made from a leather glove was no substitute.  Ben tried a spoon and succeeded in feeding some milk into the screaming baby but most of it ended up soaking their clothes.  Two hours of trying and Ben knew it was useless, he had been through this before, how could he have forgotten the difficulties of weaning a baby.  The problem had been hard enough with Adam and then there had been an available wet nurse until he was at least old enough to eat solid food. Hoss was not yet three months old and he needed a woman’s care.  He cursed his own foolishness. He should have known the baby would die without a wet nurse.  He tried to recall when he had first been alone with Adam and was horrified to remember the boy being at least eighteen months old and walking before Mrs Callaghan had finally departed.

Finally, Ben rocked his baby son until the little fella dropped off into an exhausted sleep.  He laid him into the bed in the wagon and began harnessing the horses again.  Adam had watched at first in amusement, then fascination and finally frustration.

“C’mon Adam we have to get moving.”  Ben said sharply.  Common sense had at last re-asserted itself and he knew he had made a terrible mistake.

“But Pa, I ain’t had nuthin’ to eat yet.  I’m hungry.”  Adam protested, his small face turned toward his father.

Ben reached into a sack behind the wagon seat and handed the boy a piece of jerky.  “Here this will keep you going until we’ve got time to stop again.”

Adam took the piece of dried beef as if it was poison.  “I don’t like that.”  He said with disgust.

Ben’s patience had been worn thin and he snapped back.  “You’ll eat it or go hungry.”

Tears welled in Adam’s eyes but he turned away and licked at the jerky while he got himself under control again.

Ben hoisted him roughly on to the wagon seat.  “We have to get moving and catch up with the others, they must be almost a day ahead of us now, we’ve been heading in the opposite direction.”

Adam stopped feeling sorry for himself and stared at his father in disbelief.  “But we’re staying here ain’t we?”  He asked.

“We can’t.”  Ben shot back.  “Your brother will die if we stay here.”

Adam’s small face crumpled.  He loved his baby brother and he didn’t want him to die but he wanted to stay here.  Mama would have wanted to stay here.  In some confused way he knew that they couldn’t stay because she had died and it was all his fault.  He hunched himself down as small as he could.  Pa was angry and he didn’t really know why, unless it was with him yet again.

Ben couldn’t believe he had been so stupid, taken in by a pretty view and the call of a long off memory. In an effort to make up for his mistake, he drove like a mad man.  The trail was narrow but relatively straight and easy to follow for the first part and by the time darkness fell they had reached the lake again.  He knew he ought to camp, neither of them had eaten since dawn and the baby had awakened crying several times during the late afternoon, but he had a fevered determination to make up lost ground coupled with a fear of camping by this beautiful lake.  It had got under his skin once and could do so again if he lingered.  He continued to drive in the fading light until the wagon began to lurch into unseen ruts and he became aware of small fingers digging into his arm.  Adam had been curled up in the corner of the wagon seat, silent and withdrawn but now his fear had driven him to his father’s side.  Ben glanced down and saw the pale, worried face.  He realised his fear was being transferred to Adam and he attempted a smile.

“We’d better find a camp spot.” He said quietly.  “It might take a while to get some milk into your brother and I guess you could do with some supper too. I know I could.”

Adam was relieved.  He could remember the days before Inger came along when they had been hungry with no roof over their heads.  He had always tried not to complain of hunger, or cold or even tiredness because it worried Pa and he had lots of worries already.  When Inger had been there those problems seemed to disappear and the deep lines on his father’s forehead had vanished; they were back now and Adam was afraid.  He didn’t want to be cold and hungry again and he didn’t want his baby brother to know these things either.   He helped to find wood for the fire, venturing into the gathering darkness without fear.  The pines sighed in the wind seeming to echo his sadness at leaving them.  Far below he could still see the lake and it too seemed to be calling him.  He’d come back someday, even if he had to wait until he was grown.

“Pa…”  He ventured nervously.  “Can we come back in the spring?”  He dropped the wood he had been carrying in a heap beside his father who was trying to coax some pinecones and dry grass into the beginnings of a fire.

Ben glanced up at him his expression still one of concern.  “I don’t know son, maybe in a few years when you and Hoss are older.”

Adam stared off into the distance.  It wasn’t the answer he wanted but he knew better than to argue.  He could tell his father was still worried and that worry would turn to anger if he was questioned.  Adam had seen that many times on their journey and he had learned to keep his innermost thoughts hidden unless they agreed with his Pa.  Later he lay awake under the wagon and listened to the sounds of the night.  Pa sure had been mad when he had eventually succeeded in getting baby Hoss to go to sleep.  As before the baby had refused to take the milk offered, and the more upset Pa got the more the baby cried.  There had been no meat for supper and no bread. Adam had had to content himself with beans and oatmeal and even that had to be made with water because most of the milk had been used in efforts to feed his brother.  He snuggled deeper into his blankets and a big tear rolled down his cheek.

The next day passed in much the same manner with Ben driving the horses far too hard.  The trail now was narrow and winding and he had to stop often to check that the tracks of the other wagons were still ahead of them.  Adam stayed silent but his baby brother wasn’t so accommodating and for most of the day their journey was accompanied by a pathetic wail from the back of the wagon.  By nightfall they were high in the mountains and Adam shivered in his thin coat.  He hadn’t been able to find his warm winter jacket and he hadn’t dared ask Pa.  Now the baby had a fever and was being sick, any hope of feeding him was gone.  He simply brought back what little Ben could get into him.

On the third day they saw glimpses of white canvas in the distance and at each twist in the trail the wagons seemed to be a little nearer.  The wail from the wagon had become a pathetic cry now that tore at Adam’s tender heart.  This morning he had tried to feed his brother while Pa was cooking the beans.  He had been delighted when some of the milk went into Hoss’s mouth then shocked and frightened when the baby started to bring it all back.  He knew Pa was more worried than he had ever seen him before.  The baby was pale and sickly and his skin was clammy to touch.  Adam watched the white canvases growing larger and prayed very hard.

An hour after the wagons stopped for the night, Ben pulled their wagon alongside the others.  He was gray with exhaustion and worry.  His friends Simon and Rachel came rushing over their faces showing their concern.

“Ben…What’s happened?  We thought you were staying at the lake.”  Simon shouted before he was close enough to talk normally.

Ben climbed wearily down from the wagon and Adam scrambled down to stand beside him, his hand creeping into his father’s seeking comfort.

“I was a fool.”  Ben sighed.  “The baby won’t feed and he’s sick.”  He looked up at Rachel with tears in his eyes.  “I can’t manage, Rachel look at him, don’t let him die.  I can’t lose him too.”

Rachel climbed into the wagon and lifted up the covers, she hid her concern as she picked up the very sickly baby’ handing him down to Mrs Oakes, who had also come hurrying across to them.

The two women bent over the baby, checking him out and glancing at each other with worried frowns.  “He’s not had enough liquid.”  Rachel said and Mrs Oakes nodded.  “Has he been sick too?”  She asked.

Ben nodded.  “He won’t feed from the bottle or a spoon and he can’t keep down what little he does take.”

Mrs Oakes shook her head.  “I told you, you’d kill them boys staying up there.”  She said sharply.  “Cow’s milk ain’t good for babies this small, even if you boiled it proper, it weren’t safe.”

“Shh…”  Rachel warned, seeing Ben’s expression of guilt and worry.  “It won’t do no good to think about that now, we’ve got to get him well again.”  She took the baby from Mrs Oakes and cuddled him close as he began to whimper.

Mrs Oakes had the grace to look a little ashamed.  “Here, give him back to me, I’ll see if I can get him to take some milk.”  She said gently.

Ben watched as the women took over; Mrs Oakes hurrying away with the baby and Rachel pulling Adam into a warm embrace and asking him if he was hungry.   Adam glanced nervously at his father.  He didn’t want to say that he had only had a few beans and a piece of jerky since they had left the train three days ago.  “A bit… Auntie Rachel.”  He admitted guiltily.

“Well you and your Pa come with me, there’s stew and dried apple pie.”  She smiled releasing him and taking his hand as she led the way to her wagon.  Her husband slapped Ben on the back.

“I’ll take care of the team, you go rest a while.  You look half dead.”  Simon suggested.

Adam felt more secure tucked up in his blanket under the wagon that night.  His baby brother was still with Mrs Oakes but he had been allowed to peek in at him and he was sleeping quietly now but he still looked very pale.  “Is he gonna be all right, Pa?”  he whispered, later, as they both tried to sleep.

“I hope so son.”  Ben whispered back.  He would never forgive himself if he lost his son because of his own foolishness.

It seemed like weeks to Ben and Adam but in reality it was only a couple of days before Hoss was the perfect contented baby again.  The wagons hadn’t stopped and they were now descending into a valley filled with trees.  Adam was on the wagon seat beside his father and Hoss was sleeping peacefully in his crib when the first flakes of snow began to fall; softly and gently at first then thicker and with more bite as the wind began to pick up.  By the time the wagons stopped for the night, there was a light covering and Adam shivered as he collected the wood for the fire.

For two more days it snowed and the wagons moved slowly, sometimes the trail was so poor and rugged that they had to walk with Ben guiding the animals by using a halter or even hanging on to the bridle and coaxing the horses forward.  Those with oxen faired slightly better but were slower in the narrow confines of the passes.  Each evening Ben wrote in his journal and marked the passage of the days until on 1st November they began to see the valley beneath them.

“See Adam, down there, away in the distance that’s where we are heading.  the valley of the Sacramento and Sutter’s Fort.”

Adam followed his father’s directions and stared hard then turned his pinched face up to his father.  “But Pa where’s the ocean?”  He asked with a puzzled frown.

“Oh maybe a hundred miles further on, we’ll see it someday.”  Ben replied with a tired smile.

Adam bit his lip and fought back the tears.  They had come so far and what had kept him going was the thought of the tall trees and the ocean that would be their new home and here there were neither.  The trees were behind them, here it was mostly aspens and scrub and the only water was a bubbling creek, pretty but no different from the hundreds of other creeks they had crossed.

“But Pa, this ain’t home.”  He almost cried.  “Mama said we’d have trees and meadows and a river and you promised the ocean.”  Six years of traveling towards a dream and now the dream was no more, it had come crashing down with the sight of a valley like all the other valleys.

Ben swallowed hard, he too felt a disappointment he couldn’t explain, but he was man enough to accept it, wasn’t he?  They had to settle here where there were neighbours and a store, ranchers and good grazing.  He drew in a breath.  “It will be fine once we have a cabin and you make some friends.”  He suggested.

Adam turned away in a sulk, he felt like stamping his foot and shouting but he knew it would do no good.  Tantrums never got him anywhere with his Pa.

Ben saw the signs he knew so well and tried to jolly Adam into a better mood.  “In a couple of weeks we’ll be at the fort, there’s a small town there and we’ll celebrate your birthday by choosing a spot for our home.”

Adam grunted.  “It won’t be home.”  He said sullenly.  “I won’t have any birthdays, not here.  Mama promised…”

Ben sighed.  “Okay, you can stay six forever, I guess Hoss can overtake you and be the oldest.  Be kinda funny not having my old partner growing up and helping me but I guess Hoss and I can rub along without you.”

Adam didn’t lift his head but he looked up from under his dark lashes.  “But I’ll still be here.”

Ben nodded slowly,  “True, but when we start the ranch you won’t be much use if you stay six.  I was planning on your help building the cabin and putting up fences and maybe breaking horses and herding cattle.  But six is too young to do those things, now seven, well that’d be different.  I bet a seven year old could do a lot of those things and once he got to ten or twelve, well …he’d be real useful.  But as you say you’re gonna stay six, so I guess I’ll just have to wait until Hoss gets to seven, then he’ll be able to tell you what to do.”  He glanced slyly at his son.

Adam sniffed.  “Hoss ain’t never gonna tell me what to do, he’s a baby and I’ll always be bigger and older’n him.”  He pouted.

Ben just shook his head and pretended to look straight ahead but he could see his small son struggling with the idea of accepting that this was going to be their new home.

Adam didn’t speak again until they were camped beside a stream among willows and aspens.  He thought a lot about what Pa had said and deep down he knew he had no choice.  Everyone grew up sometime, and there was no way he was going to let baby Hoss overtake him.  He was the big brother and he was proud of that.  He guessed he’d just have to swallow another disappointment and accept that the Sacramento valley was where he was going to do his growing.  A tiny germ of an idea stayed locked inside his head though and he was determined that someday when he was old enough or when Pa got itchy feet again, he’d make sure they went back to that lake.

“Pa…someday we’ll go back won’t we?”  He asked.

Ben was startled and a little bemused.  Adam asked a hundred questions a day and they weren’t always connected.  He had learned that he could never assume the question related to the last conversation or even to a recent one.  His son would mull things over sometimes for days and then come out with a question that bothered him.

“Back to Boston?” he asked, puzzled.  “We’ve taken more than six years to get here, why would we want to go back?”

“No…Pa.”  Adam gave an exasperated sigh, parents were so dumb sometimes,  “Back to the lake and the proper trees.”

Ben smiled.  “Oh, well that’s a little more reasonable.  Yes I suppose we could go back someday when we’re properly established here, we could go for a visit when you boys are old enough to ride such a long distance.”

“I’ve already walked it, ridin’s no problem.”  He said scornfully.  “And when I’m older it will be even easier.”

Ben grinned.  “Oh, so you aren’t going to stay six and miss out on the birthday presents then?”

“Pa don’t be silly, you can’t stay the same age, you gotta get older, it just happens.”  Adam shook his head in disgust at his father’s naivety, making Ben smile at the old worldly wise expression his little son wore.  He hoped his son would make friends his own age around the new settlement.  Adam had spent most of his life with adults and he was a little too sombre and grown up at times.

Ben had pulled the wagon to a stop and was climbing down, he felt stiff and every muscle ached.  “Yep, you’re right there you can’t help growing old.”  He chuckled, holding his back as he stretched to remove the kinks.

Ten days later they stopped at the first settlement on their route into California.  The Johnson ranch comprised several quite large buildings and then smaller cabins set around them.  Several families had settled here and made the most of the protection being grouped together could bring.  Ben admired the way the settlement was built, giving maximum protection but allowing each family a piece of land and some privacy.  The cabins also housed a large number of single men who worked the fields and looked after the stock and were paid by the larger landowners.  A couple of the families from the train decided to negotiate to stay here for the winter but the rest including Ben pushed on for Sutter’s Fort.

On the eve of Adam’s birthday they drove the wagons through a large wooden gate set in white adobe walls and as Ben came to a halt he reached across and hugged Adam.

“We made it son, we’re here at last.”  He said with joy and thanks.

Adam looked around the enclosure with a disgusted frown.  It wasn’t very big, the ground had been churned up with rain and people were walking ankle deep in the dirty mud.  Animals and people were all mixed together and the tongue he heard was not English or, at least, not an English he recognised.  He could see his father was overjoyed to be here and so he tried to paste on a smile but he couldn’t help a feeling of hopelessness.  Had they traveled all this way to live in this squalor.  He wished he was back in Illinois with Inger and Uncle Gunnar and the store.  The neat little house where he had spent such a short time after Pa and Inger got married had been a palace compared to this.

“We gonna stay here?”  He asked in an incredulous voice.  He couldn’t believe Pa meant it.

“Not right here but we’ll find a place to build a temporary cabin for the winter, then we’ll find ourselves a piece of land in the spring.”

Simon and Rachel had walked over to them and Simon held up his arms to lift Adam down while Rachel took Hoss from Ben.  “It’s pretty rough but apparently we can rent cabins from Sutter, he has some ’bout mile from here that he allows new arrivals to use.” Simon explained.  “The Oakes family are taking one so I guessed you would too and we’re gonna do the same.”

Rachel was watching Adam’s expression as he took in everything that was going on around him and suddenly her face crumpled and she began to sob.  Simon immediately put his arm around her and Ben moved closer concerned at what had upset her.

“What’s wrong, honey.”  Simon begged.  “We’re here now, it’s all over.”

Rachel looked up at them her eyes brimming with tears.  “Matthew and Inger should be here to share it with us.”  She said softly.  “I’m crying for our son and my best friend and all the others who went through so much and never got to see California.”  She reached out for Adam and hugged him.  “These boys will make a new life here and make it all worth it, won’t they?”  She struggled for a moment with the loss they had suffered; then smiled.  “We have to make it work for them.”

Making it work was harder than Ben had imagined.  On Adam’s seventh birthday they transferred all their meagre belongings to a rough one roomed cabin, barely twelve feet by ten, it had no glass in the two windows and the door was a poor fit.  Shutters kept out the wind and rain but when they were closed it was dark and the lamps had to be lit all the time.  The room had a rickety table and a cupboard, two beds made from timber and rope with straw mattresses and two chairs.  The fireplace was small with no stove, so cooking was done by a pot on a trivet or hung from a hook in the beam above.  Adam hated it.

That night he sat in front of the fire watching the stew bubble and trying to look at his book in the dim light from the one candle and the fire.  “Pa, we ain’t really gonna stay here are we?”  He asked, yet again.

Ben crouched down beside him, “It won’t be so bad when we can build our own cabin.  There are other children to play with and Rachel says she is going to try to start a school for the older ones, you’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Adam nodded slowly.  “I guess so, but when the snow’s gone why can’t we go back to that lake?  Hoss’ll be real big by then.”

Ben didn’t answer him directly but turned away and busied himself at the table slicing the bread Rachel had made for them that morning.  “Is that what you really want?”  He asked.

Adam leapt from his chair and threw his arms around his father.  “Oh yes Pa, a farm near the lake.  I can teach Hoss to swim like you taught me and we can help you with the stock and everything.”

Ben hugged him and stared over his head into the fire.  He could hear Liz’s enthusiasm in Adam’s voice and see Inger’s determined expression on his face.  His dream…well this sure wasn’t it, but maybe next spring when they had a cabin by the stream and the start of a farm…but somehow he knew that he wasn’t convincing even himself.  California didn’t feel the way he had expected it to.  “I don’t know son, maybe in a year or two but not in the spring, it’s too soon.  Hoss will still be too small.”

Adam sighed and returned to his place by the hearth to think of ways to change Pa’s mind.

*****

“You gotta eat this Hoss.”  Adam said firmly, spooning oatmeal into his baby brother.  “It’s almost spring and we’re gonna go back to the lake.  Pa said we could when you was big enough, so you gotta get big real quick.”

Hoss made no protest but opened his mouth like a baby bird and allowed Adam to spoon in more oatmeal and milk.  One chubby hand held a cookie and the other was covered in oatmeal where he had tried to help himself.

“I’m gonna teach you to walk too, ‘cos then we won’t have to carry you, you’re gettin’ too heavy for me.”

The two boys were alone in the cabin in the middle of the day.  Ben had gone with Simon and Mr Oakes to check out a spot on the river where the three planned to build their cabins.  Now that Hoss could take boiled cow’s milk safely and ate a little solid food, he was often left with Adam as his protector, provided they didn’t leave the area that comprised the fort and the small settlement around it.

Adam had built a sled over the winter and he would wrap Hoss in blankets and tow him around on the small wooden platform as he visited the various neighbours.  His favorite spot was the blacksmith’s shop.  It was warm and Hoss would fall asleep while Adam watched the Smithy fashion all manner of tools.  There were other children around but he found their games silly.  He didn’t mind sliding on the mud or playing marbles but games of pretend bored him and most of the boys spent their days fighting imaginary Indians while the girls played house.  He got enough of housework in the cabin and imagining Indians attacking brought on his nightmares.  He had experienced several since their arrival and he tried not to think about them during the day.

When Hoss began to refuse more oatmeal, Adam tried to coax him but the baby was stuffed too full and pushed the spoon away.  Adam gave him one more drink of milk and then turned to the less pleasant task of changing a diaper.  He had become good at looking after babies and cooking and the other boys teased him, so he had no wish to go out and play.  He settled Hoss down in his crib and started clearing up the cabin.  His father’s gun was resting against the hearth and he was about to reach out and touch it when his conscience kicked in.  He had asked Pa many times to teach him how to use it but had been refused.  He knew he mustn’t touch it but it was real tempting.  The powder and shot were in the cupboard and he knew how to load it, he’d seen Pa do it hundreds of times.  How could they live in the mountains if he couldn’t hunt and protect the family?  His hand crept closer and his finger tips stroked the walnut stock.

“ADAM!”

He turned so quickly that the gun clattered to the floor.  He swallowed hard.  Pa was standing in the doorway with a thunderous look on his face.

“Were you touching that gun?”  He said sternly.

Adam shook his head as an instant reaction then seeing his father take a step towards him he changed it to a nod.  “I wasn’t gonna do nuthin’ with it, Pa.  Just movin’ it to somewhere safer.”

Ben nodded wisely.  “It was perfectly safe by the fireplace unless a boy touched it.  You know you are not to handle guns, don’t you?”

The look made Adam nervous and he stuttered.  “Y…yes, s…sir.”

Ben picked up the gun and replaced it over the fireplace out of Adam’s reach.  He supposed it was partly his fault for leaving it where temptation would strike.

Adam could see his father wasn’t too angry so he tried his plea again.  “If you taught me to use it I could go hunting with you when we get to the mountains.”

Ben tried to remain stern and hide his smile.  “You are too small to fire that gun; the recoil would break your shoulder.”  He explained.  “And we aren’t going back to the mountains.  I’ve found a good place for our cabin near the Mill and Captain Sutter has offered me work there until we can get on our feet.  Now, we are discussing your disobedience.”

He stopped speaking as a knock came at the door.  “This isn’t finished young man.”  He opened the door to a slim Mexican of about twenty-five or so.  “Good afternoon, Senor.  What can I do for you?”  There were many Mexicans around the fort, some worked for Sutter and others tried for work wherever they could find it.

The Mexican nodded politely.  “Good evening, Senor Cartwright, my name is Jose Bettencort, I am looking for work and your son said…”

Ben glanced at Adam, what had he been saying now.  “I’m sorry Senor I do not need any help and I couldn’t afford to pay you in anyway.”

The Mexican nodded “You will need men to help you in the mountains with your ranch, senor.  I know the Sierras, I have trapped and hunted there many times.  I do not need much pay, I want to go back and it is always better to have company.”

Ben nodded slowly and turned to look at his son who shrank away into a corner.  “My son is mistaken, I do not intend to return to the mountains.  I have selected a spot for a cabin right here on the river.  I’m sorry you have been troubled senor.”

He said a polite goodbye and turned again to Adam, who swallowed hard. Pa looked real mad now.  “What on earth do you think you are doing, telling people these stories?  I don’t know how many times I’ve told you we aren’t going back and as for telling complete strangers that we can offer them work…”  He turned away in exasperation.

“Jose’s my friend. He ain’t a stranger, Pa.  He works in the smithy sometimes and he’s real good with horses and…” his voice faded away as Ben swung around and pointed a finger at him.  “It seems you can’t be trusted either in or out of the cabin on your own.  You’ll come with me this afternoon, we’ll leave Hoss with Mrs Oakes and you had better behave yourself if you know what’s good for you.”

“Yes, sir.”  Adam whispered.

All afternoon Adam trailed after his father.  The site for the cabin was pretty, there were aspens and willows and a small stream ran through the area that would be the backyard.   The land Ben had marked out would be enough for a small farm and Simon and Rachel would be their neighbours on the other side of the stream.  On one side it abutted Sutter’s Mill and on the other the Oakes family were building their cabin just over a mile away.  Adam enjoyed the peace and quiet of the stream but the aspens were small and the nearest tall trees where alongside the mill.  It had none of the majestic beauty of the Sierras.  While his father measured and surveyed the land, he tried his hand at fishing but after two hours he hadn’t had one bite.  The stream was narrow and fast flowing and wouldn’t skim stones properly and it wasn’t deep enough to swim in either.  In fact Adam couldn’t think of one good thing about it.  He was in a sullen and sulky mood and even if it had been perfect he would have still hated it.

He glanced up when a group of men approached his father, there were three of them. He recognised Jose and a smaller dark haired man who worked in the timber mill. The third was a stranger and rather rough in appearance.  He scrambled to his feet anxious not to miss out on the conversation although he knew his father wouldn’t like him eavesdropping.  Jose was speaking when Adam sidled up to his father and stood just behind him.

“Senor, we wanted to tell you that we are organising a party to go back to the Sierras.  I know you say you do not want to go now, but we talk to wagon master and he say you might change your mind if we tell you we go.”  The Mexican explained.

“I got friends comin’ out on a train this year and they plan to settle in the valley near the Mormon settlement, they’d sure like to know there was another family for neighbours,” the stockier man added.

Ben looked from one to the other.  “I thought I made it clear I was settling here.”  He sighed.

“We’re hard workers Mr Cartwright, we jest ain’t business men, we need a leader.  We reckons that a trading post on the trail would do real well.  You know take the stock from the trains and trade ‘em for fresh animals then feed up those and trade with the next train.  Jose, here, is real good with stock and me I’m a lumberman, I could repair wagons and such. We need a leader Mr Cartwright and everyone who came out here with you says you’re the best man for the job.”  The stocky little man was certainly forceful and determined.

“Gentlemen, I’m flattered but the answer is still no.  I have two small sons and no wife to take care of them, I can’t take them into the wilderness on a whim.”  Ben replied equally forcefully.

“So you would go, if’n you had a wife.”  The man persisted.

Ben couldn’t help but smile.  “You’re not suggesting that you can supply one are you?”  He asked, tongue in cheek.

The man returned the smile.  “Nope, I ain’t no matchmaker, but my friend’s wife would be glad to take care of the lads and until she gets here Charlie here is more’n happy to be cook and housekeeper for us all.”

Ben shook his head, then felt a tug on his sleeve and looked down into his son’s pleading eyes.

“Adam!”  Ben said sternly.  His son retreated a little but his eyes still pleaded.

The man knew when he had an ally and he winked at the little boy.  “You give it some thought Mr Cartwright, we reckon we’d make a good team.”  He reached over and ruffled Adam’s hair and nodded to the others to follow him back to the fort.

Ben did give it some thought.  He was surprised at how much the idea appealed to him.  That lake still called and to have three willing partners in the venture made it almost possible.  Had he been alone he would have said yes in a heartbeat.  He had successfully hid it from his son, but he wanted to go back as much as Adam did.  After he had tucked the boys up in bed he slipped across to talk to Simon and Rachel, maybe he could persuade them to go with him.

When Ben had finished explaining, Simon shook his head,  “Sorry, Ben, I like it fine right here.  I’m a farmer, timber and trapping aren’t for me, nor is keeping a trading post.”

“I thought I’d ask.” Ben’s disappointment was obvious.

Rachel was a little more perceptive than her husband and decidedly more blunt, “You’ve decided to go anyway, haven’t you?”  She accused. “Ben, they’re babies, you can’t be serious about taking them, let Simon and me take them in.”

Ben shook his head.  “We stay together, they’re my sons and I’ll take care of them.  We’re doing fine here and it won’t be any different in another cabin in the mountains.”  He said stubbornly, incensed at the idea that he couldn’t manage.

Rachel sighed.  “Here you have women to help, supplies are plentiful, the winters are mild.”  She tried.

The more Rachel put up obstacles the more stubborn Ben became until both she and Simon knew they were wasting their breath.

Adam couldn’t believe it when his father told him next morning that they were really going back.  He followed him around like a puppy dog, anxious to make sure Pa didn’t change his mind again.  Ben met nothing but opposition from his friends, particularly the women who thought he was crazy to take the boys back into the mountains, but the more criticism he met the more stubborn he became.  His new partners, Jose Bettencort, Jake Webber and Charlie Henderson were delighted.  They would have gone alone but none were natural leaders and they knew their venture needed a man who could command respect.

It took two weeks to gather supplies and load them on to Ben’s wagon and another, which the group purchased.  Wagons were cheap at this end of the journey as the large Conestogas, which carried folk across the country, were too large for routine farm work.  Ben debated buying more but his funds were sadly depleted and he needed cash for supplies.

In late May the group set off, four men a small boy of seven and a baby of eight months.  The group standing in the fort and waving them off did not expect to see or hear of them again.   All agreed it was a mad scheme and taking the children even crazier.

Adam was so excited that he bounced up and down on the wagon seat until he was told firmly to sit still.  In the warm spring weather the trip back over the pass was easier, only at the very summit were there small patches of snow.  As they descended into the valley the lake sparkled in the distance and Adam could keep still no longer.

“Look, Pa!”  He shouted excitedly, “There it is.”  He turned to Jake Webber who was riding the wagon with them and pointed,  “Ain’t it beautiful, Mr Webber.”

Jake nodded the boy’s excitement was infectious,  “I reckon we’ll build a real good place.”

Ben glanced at the two of them,  “We may well do that, but not on the lake.  We will have to go into the valley beyond if we’re going to have a trading post.  A lot of the wagons go north of here and we need to catch them as they come from the desert.”

They finally stopped in the valley between two mountain ranges on a trail that led from the desert north of the sink through to the lake and beyond to the mountain pass into California.   The land was covered with scrub and grass with a good sized lake and several streams; to the East was the desert, to the North and south more of the valley floor and to the West the beautiful mountains and lake that had so enraptured them on their first visit.

Almost at once, the men began to plan the layout of their camp.  Two cabins would be built; one for the Cartwright family and one for the other men. The trading post would be added to the men’s cabin with an interconnecting door so that it was secure.  It was agreed that the children needed to be housed first so work would start on the family cabin.  Over the first few days the men took it in turns to stay in camp while the remainder of the party went into the mountains to cut and haul the timber for the first cabin.  Adam begged and pleaded to be allowed to go with them but Ben was adamant that he stay in camp.

The first day wasn’t too bad, the boys had been left with Charlie and he was a fairly lazy and irresponsible individual where the children were concerned.  He happily went fishing with Adam and then allowed the youngster to wander off on his own while Hoss had an afternoon nap in the wagon.  The second and third days weren’t so good, both Jake and Jose worked hard on clearing the ground for the cabin and then digging a trench to position the first timbers.  Neither would allow Adam to move out of sight and he soon lost interest in helping once it was clear that neither would permit him to touch the ax or the scythe.  He was bored, and late on the third day he checked that baby Hoss was asleep and Jake was engrossed in the work of finishing off the fourth side of the oblong trench and he slipped quietly away to explore.

It was hot and he left the dusty area of the house site to walk down among the reeds surrounding the lake.  It wasn’t far, maybe a few hundred yards and he could still see the wagon quite clearly when he entered the reeds. He didn’t think of it as wandering off, Pa had told him to stay within sight of the camp and he was.  What he hadn’t reckoned with was the height of the reeds. They were more than two feet above his head and within a few feet he was swallowed up and from the camp site even his movement made no more impact than the light breeze.   He was soon hunting down  small animals and as he pushed through the reeds he realised he was sinking into the mud.  He looked at his boots a little worriedly, he’d have to clean those before Pa saw them but that was his only concern.

Ben, Jose and Charlie drove into the camp with a load of cut timbers about an hour before dark.  They were hot, dirty and tired and wanted nothing more than to clean up, eat and sleep.

Jake handed each of them hot coffee. “Stew comin’ up in about ten minutes,”  he announced.

“Sounds good, Jake,”  Ben grinned.  “I swear those timbers are getting heavier, I’ll be glad to have a day digging trenches.”

“Trenches all done,”  Jake responded with a laugh.  “You’ll be using an ax again, cuttin’ notches and checking lengths tomorra; then we can start buildin’.   Young Adam’ll like that, he’s not much on diggin’.”

Ben glanced around the camp.  “Where is he?”

Jake followed Ben’s eyes around the camp.  “He was here half an hour ago, just over by the reeds.”   He pointed to where he had last seen the boy.  “I told him not to wander off but I guess he was bored.”

Ben sighed.  “This wanderlust of his is becoming a menace.”  He set down his coffee cup and started off for the lake.  “Keep my supper hot, Jake.  I’d better go look for him.”

Jake nodded.  “Want me to keep his hot too?”  He asked with a grin.

Ben half turned.  “He’ll be hot enough when I catch up to him.”  He replied, his tone suggesting his temper was only just being controlled.

Adam crept through the reeds, just ahead of him was a plump duck and Adam loved duck.  He was determined to catch this one.  The duck seemed to have very little fear of him and as it emerged from the reeds on to the lake, Adam made a dive for it.  Duck and boy went under the water but Adam had a firm hold on one wing and he held on even when the duck squawked and fluttered in his hands.

The noise and motion of the reeds alerted Ben and he pushed through the vegetation to get to the spot.  When his father reached him Adam was waist deep in mud and water with the duck held firmly to his chest.  He looked up at his father with an expression of pride and triumph.

“Look Pa.  I caught him all by myself…” his voice trailed off a little as he saw his father’s angry features.

“I thought I told you not to wander off.”  Ben shouted, taking the boy by the arm and half dragging him from the water.  Once Adam was standing on firm ground he gave him a shake, making the duck squawk.

Adam pouted.  It wasn’t fair. He could still see the wagon.  He hadn’t wandered off and he had caught a duck which would make good eating.  He felt very hard done by.  “I didn’t,”  he answered back defiantly.

“And don’t answer back, boy.”  Ben continued his anger still fresh.

Adam lips firmed into a line but he held his father’s gaze defiantly, until the intensity of those dark brown eyes made him look down.

Jake’s shout for supper made both of them look up and Adam found himself being marched forcefully back to the camp.

“Hey, what ya got there boy?”  Jake grinned, taking the duck and holding it up.  “That looks mighty fine, we’ll eat like kings tomorra.”  He glanced at Ben.  “He’s gettin’ to be quite a hunter ain’t he?”

Ben relaxed his grip on Adam’s shirt and allowed his face to relax a little.  “Yes, quite the hunter,” he sighed.  “I just wish he’d do it in sight of the camp.”

Jake winked at Adam as they both realised that for now the storm had passed.  Pa had a hot temper but it was usually short lived unless you fuelled it.

Later after Adam was tucked up in his bedroll, Jake sought out Ben.  “Don’tcha’ think maybe you and the boy’d rest easier if he was taught about the dangers out here, stead o’ shoutin’ at him when he wanders off?”  He suggested.  “It ain’t like the wagon train where you was movin’ off all the time.  If’n he’s gonna grow up here he’s gotta learn the ways of the mountains, learn to survive out here.  He’s a sensible lad, you can teach him to take care of himself. My guess, he’s done a fair bit of that already.  It’s kinda hard on him tellin’ him to look after the babby then tellin’ him he ain’t old enough to look after hisself… ” He trailed off wondering if he had said too much.

Ben’s mouth twisted into a wry smile.  “You tellin’ me I’m bein’ too protective?”  He asked.

Jake grinned.  “I ain’t about to tell you nuthin’, but the boy and me we gets on good and I know he can learn what he needs to be on his own out here.  After all, his wanderin’s ain’t brought no trouble so far. We get him a pony soon as we can.  I seen some wild ones we can tame.  I reckon he’ll be providing supper and it won’t be just duck.  ‘Nother couple of years and he’ll be able to handle a gun and do a man’s day’s work if’n you teach him.”

Ben nodded.  “You got it all figured.”

“Nope just him, he works better when you trust him and if he thinks you’re bein’ unfair he fights back, right?  He’s a thinker and he don’t do nuthin’ lessen he’s thought it through.”  Jake responded.

Ben sighed.  “All right, I’ll try it your way, but I wish he had some other children to play with, he’s a mite too serious and grown-up in some ways.”

“There’ll be kids on the wagon trains in a month or two and like I said my friends the Shaughnessy’s ‘ll be here by September latest.  Last I heard Kate was expectin’ and the babby’d  be ‘most a year old by now.  His brother’s growin’ too soon we’ll have a whole passel of kids and you’ll wonder why you wished for ’em.”  Jake chuckled.

Jake was right about one thing, the wagons did start to come through and by the end of July large trains were passing the trading post.  The cabins were finished and weather proof though still rough and with little furniture but now all the men’s energies went into providing fresh game for the travellers.  They took the tired horses, mules and oxen in exchange for fresh animals and whatever else the emigrants would trade, this became their stock for the next train.  Adam was usually the first to spot a new dust cloud and would alert the men to the approaching wagons.  Jake had caught and tamed a pony for him and he would ride up to the ridge and watch, waving a cloth when he saw the wagons starting up the grade.

Jake had been right, given the encouragement, the boy had grown in confidence, he had helped notch the beams for the house and smoothed the planks that made up the floor.  He had wielded a saw to shape the boards for cupboards and for a counter for the store.   Ben’s only dark cloud was the growing friendship between his son and the Indian boy known as Young Wolf.  Each time new wagons appeared the Indians came down from the mountains to act as guides and Adam would rush to meet them.

“Stop worryin’ Boss.”  Jake told him one day when he had stood and watched the two boys skinning a rabbit.  “He’s learnin’ to survive out here. There’ll be time enough for schoolin’ and book learnin’ in the winter.”

Ben nodded.  He knew Jake was right but at the back of his mind a small doubt nagged.  Elizabeth would have seen that her son had a good education, how was he to do that out here?

Towards the end of August, Jose and Charlie took the big wagon and headed west to Sutter’s Fort with one of the passing trains.  They needed to stock up with supplies for the coming winter.  Ben and Jake had to double their workload to keep the store supplied with meat and to look after the stock and Adam was left pretty much to his own devices.  Every week or so another group of wagons would pass through and he would have new companions for a few days but they were soon gone, only Young Wolf stayed around.  The Indian boy and his family would appear and disappear without warning, sometimes they were gone for weeks, sometimes just a day or two, but slowly the friendship grew.

As summer turned to fall; the days grew shorter and colder and the wagons still moving west hurried along now and stopped only briefly at the trading post.  Ben and Jake spent time making the two cabins weatherproof and ensuring a good supply of fuel.  They had built a lean to shelter for the stock and they enlarged this to provide dry storage for wood and hay.

Each day, Adam would walk the trail to the West and look for the returning wagon, usually dragging Hoss along on his wooden sled, to which he had added solid wheels so that it creaked and bumped over the rocky ground.  Ben didn’t worry so much about him now. He had seen that for the most part Adam could take care of himself and his little brother.  He still gave dire warnings of what would happen if they went too far from camp, but he learned that when Young Wolf was with them they were usually perfectly safe.

It was one such lazy day that the Young Wolf came by to tell them that the tribe was moving north for the winter. The two boys fished in the lake and then Young Wolf showed Adam how to weave the reeds to make mats and baskets.  His first attempt wasn’t too good but by the end of the day he could produce a rather loose woven mat.  His baskets still wouldn’t hold anything and he was most impressed with Young Wolf’s offering of a basket that held water.   Hoss had been sleeping beside them while they worked but now he awoke and began to yell to show he was hungry.   The noise startled some geese that had been resting on the lake and they took off with an even greater amount of fuss.  Seeing them Hoss stopped crying and held out his chubby hands toward them.  He rolled over and sticking his bottom in the air hauled himself upright, clutching at his brother for support. In his efforts to reach the geese he forgot that he needed Adam to hold his hands and letting go wobbled his first few steps forward before falling on his face into the water.

Adam and Young Wolf rushed to help him but with a determined look on his face, Hoss repeated the move and stood on his own again a big grin on his face.  The boys were so engrossed in watching Hoss take his first toddling steps that they didn’t hear the approaching horses and by the time Young Wolf’s astute hearing picked them up it was too late.

Ben banged his fist down on the table in anger, for the past hour he had searched the horizon for a sight of the boys but there was none.  He had tried to be tolerant of Adam’s friendship with the Indian boy but this was the last straw.  It was past time for chores and almost supper time.  This late in the season the night air would be cold and Hoss was wearing only a thin shirt and pants.  He was too small to be out so late.  His anger still hot, Ben saddled his horse and prepared to start searching.  Without a word Jake did the same. Even he was worried.  He hadn’t said anything to Ben but earlier in the day he had seen a band of Bannock hunting in the trees not far from the cabin.  Now he fervently hoped that the boys hadn’t run into them.  White children and the son of a Piaute chief would be a prize indeed, not to mention the two ponies the boys were riding.

As they rode, Jake watched Ben’s face alternate between worry and anger.  He rather hoped Adam had met some problem, though nothing too serious. If the boy had just forgotten the time or gone off someplace with Young Wolf then he was going to be in big trouble.  Even after all this time Jake knew that Ben didn’t entirely trust the ten-year-old Indian boy.

As if to realise Ben’s worst fears, they rounded a group of rocks to be met by a Piaute hunting party.  The two men stopped and waited, there was no way through the narrow defile unless the Indians moved aside.  Ben recognised the tall chief, father of Young Wolf and the one who professed to be a great guide.

“Where are my sons?”  Ben demanded.

The Chief moved forward,  “With my son.”  He responded, his voice strong and powerful.  “Scout say, Bannock take them.”

Ben’s mouth dropped open in shock.  “Take them!  Where!  Why!”  he spluttered.

The Chief shrugged,  “To their camp to trade or kill.  Bannock steal horses.  It great honor to take son of Winnemucca,”  he nodded at the hunters behind him.  “We go, fight.  You come.  My son die, not be prisoner of Bannock.”

Jake leaned forward and whispered at Ben,  “I think he’s sayin’  he’d rather kill the boy then let him be taken by the Bannock.  But we ain’t got much choice, we can’t get the boys back on our own.”

Ben turned to Jake with a pale shocked expression, “You think they’ll kill small children?”

Jake shook his head,  “It ain’t gonna mean much to them, we’re they’re enemies.  If they can’t trade ’em then they’ll kill ’em, rather than feed ’em over the winter.”

“Chief, we have oxen we can trade for the children, maybe a spare horse.”  Ben added, thinking of how short that would leave them until Jose and Charlie got back.

The Chief looked at him with scorn.  “We no trade with enemies. We fight.” And with that, he wheeled his horse around and signalled to the others to follow.

Jake shrugged as Ben looked at him, “I guess we follow, maybe we can get in first and suggest a trade.”  He pointed at the nearest Indian. “Apart from the chief they don’t have guns. I doubt the Bannocks do either.  That might give us an edge, but we ain’t gonna get time to re-load.”

They rode hard for maybe two miles before the band of Paiutes slowed and began to move forward more cautiously.  Ben couldn’t see why they were moving so slowly but he had the sense to accept that he was in the hands of more experienced fighters.

They had almost reached the Bannock camp when there was a movement in the brush.  As the whole party turned toward the disturbance, Ben drew his gun.

“Adam!”  He spoke in a shocked but low voice.

A very pale small boy emerged from the scrub, holding on to a very grubby smaller brother.

Ben dismounted instantly and knelt by his son.  “Are you all right?”

Adam nodded.  “Young Wolf, you gotta help him.”  In halting sentences Adam explained how the Bannocks had taken them captive and brought them to this encampment.  It wasn’t a village, more a collection of tepees for a hunting party.  He said that Young Wolf had fought with their captors and made himself such a nuisance that he and Hoss had been able to slip away unseen.

Ben hugged him tight and then looked up into the eyes of the Chief.  He didn’t need to ask what the Piautes planned, he could see the murderous intent in the old man’s eyes.  Whether his son was alive or dead the Chief intended to make the Bannocks pay.  He knew that as a father he would feel the same if Adam or Hoss had been harmed.  He glanced at Jake and the other man nodded.  Young Wolf might have given his life to save the Cartwright boys, the least they could do was fight alongside his father.

“Adam, you take Hoss and you hide over there.”  He pointed to some rocks and scrub about two hundred yards away.  “You wait until it’s dark, if we don’t come back by then, you follow the stars they way I showed you and find your way back home.  Jose and Charlie will be there in a few days.”  He said gruffly.

Adam’s eyes widened,  “I won’t go without you.”  He said stubbornly.

Ben bent down to Adam’s level.  “You have to, son.  I’m relying on you to take care of Hoss.  He needs you right now.  Try to keep him quiet and stay hidden until dark.  We’ll be back before then, I’m sure.”  He spoke seriously but gave his son a quick hug, conscious that it might be his last.  He wanted to gather them both in his arms and run from the danger, but he knew he couldn’t abandon the young Indian boy who had given so much to return his sons to him.

For what seemed like hours, but was in fact less than fifteen minutes, Adam crouched in the brush trying to shield Hoss and keep him quiet.  At first Hoss thought it was a game and hid his eyes and played hide-and-seek but then he became bored and struggled to get free.  Adam hugged him tight in an effort to keep him hidden. There was the sound of a gun being fired and then shouts and another gun shot echoed across the valley floor.   The sounds quieted Hoss for a moment.  Then more shouting and more gun shots, and the sound of galloping horses.  Adam peeped from his hiding place to see a small band of Indians and a few loose horses running from the direction his father had ridden.  The urge to go and find his father was great but he wouldn’t leave his little brother and there was no way he could take him.  He shut his eyes tight to shut out pictures of the Indian attack in which his stepmother had died.  Pa would be all right, Pa wasn’t dead; he couldn’t be…could he?

“Adam…Adam!  Where are you, son?”  Ben’s shout echoed around the rocks.

Slowly and with great trepidation, Adam peered out.  Pa was there, safe and well.  Jake was beside him and to Adam’s relief and joy, his friend Young Wolf sat astride a white pony, unharmed.  He grabbed Hoss and dragged him from their hiding place.

Ben hugged them both and then gathered Hoss into his arms leaving Adam free to approach his friend.

“You okay?”  Adam asked with concern.

The Indian boy nodded.  “Bannock not hurt me.  They…”  he struggled with the words in  English.  “They want my father.”  He grinned.  “They no want him now.  Paiute good warrior.  Bannock run back to their lodge.”

“You saved our lives.”  Adam said, seriously.  “Thank you.”

“Your father give oxen to Paiute.  We friends.”

As the Indians rode away, Jake caught Ben looking after them with a thoughtful expression on his face.  “What’s the matter, Boss?”

Ben shrugged.  “Oh, nothing.  I’m grateful Adam had such a friend…”

“But you don’t really trust him, do you?”  Jake said, perceptively.

Ben shook his head.  “With folks coming out here in bigger numbers, it’s going to be hard for the Indian.  I have this strange feeling that some day they will have to fight for their land.  I don’t want Adam hurt when they end up on opposite sides.”  He said softly.

Adam remained quiet on the ride home.  He sat in front of Jake and every now and again glanced at his father to make sure he was still there.  Back at the cabin he was still quiet and after supper he stared into the fire and thought back over the day.

“Pa, we will stay here, won’t we?  I mean them Indians won’t chase us away, will they?”  His dark eyes sought his father’s for reassurance.

Ben had been preparing supper and he set down the plate of hot biscuits on the table and put an arm around his son’s thin shoulders, “No, son, they won’t chase us away.  This is home now.  Remember we said we’d build a farm and you’d grow up among tall trees the way your mother wanted.  You and Hoss are going to grow up right here.”

Hoss had been sitting on the floor by the fire and suddenly he turned over on to his tummy and pushed himself up.  He tottered for a moment and then toddled over to the table to help himself to a biscuit.

Ben stared open-mouthed.  “When did he learn to do that?”

Adam giggled.  “I forgot to tell you.  He did it this afternoon.”  He grinned up at his father.  “I guess Hoss is growing up already.”

THE END