Summary:  Virginia City’s school teacher is still determined to get her man.  (Sequel to Abigail Jones’ diary)
Rating:  G  (8,770 words)

Abigail Jones’ Diary Series:

Abigail Jones’ Diary
Abigail Jones’ Diary: The Sequel

Abigail Jones’ Diary:  The Sequel

Dear Diary,

My apologies for not writing in you sooner my dear friend, but yesterday was been rather hectic and I’m sure you’ll understand when you hear the details of what has been happening.

After that difficult scene down by the lake I would have thought that silly Jennifer Parkins would have had the sense to make herself scarce for a while.  After all the girl did cause a considerable amount of embarrassment for myself, not to mention my darling Adam as well.  Still, some people never learn by their mistakes that’s obvious!

Would you believe it?  The very next day I saw Jennifer across the street when I was at the Mercantile Store ordering some new material.  I must admit that I sometimes get a bit overcome with all the shopping I must do in order to keep abreast of the latest fashions, but when someone is as valued as I am in the community it is important to keep up appearances at all times.  People have come to expect it of me. I had heard there had been a delivery that very morning and needless to say I had to get a first hand look at what had come in.  I must say that I was most pleased that I had done so, as there was a bolt of beautiful dark blue material, which I snatched up immediately.  I have been told that dark blue goes so well with my eyes and …. Well as I’ve mentioned before it is my darling’s favourite colour.

Anyway, when I left the store who did I see but Jennifer with a group of her friends standing across the street.  Of course I knew that she wouldn’t wish to cause me any further embarrassment after the scene she caused, and so I decided to pretend that I hadn’t seen her.  Just as I was about to turn and go the other way however, I heard her shout across the street to me!  Would you believe it?  It just goes to show how badly brought up she must have been.  After all, to call across the street in broad daylight like that……well anyone with an ounce of breeding in them wouldn’t hesitate to simply turn the other way, which of course is precisely what I did.

I hesitate to say what happened next…..even to you dear friend.  To my utter amazement the girl came across the street and began to pursue me!  Well of course I was forced into acknowledging her at once and turned politely to greet her.  I was just about to smile nicely and say something kind when she grabbed me from behind and pushed me roughly to one side.  Well you can imagine my utter astonishment dear diary! Not only is the girl ill mannered, but she has become rather violent as well.  To be honest I am beginning to wonder if she is a little unbalanced.

Needless to say I didn’t wait around long enough to listen to her rantings and left in a hurry.  There were quite a few people around at the time and I didn’t wish to cause any more of a scene than had already taken place, but I’m sure many of them heard the terrible things she shouted after me.  I must be honest and say that I have begun to lose a bit of patience with the girl.  She is such a deluded young thing after all!

I went straight home and spent some time thinking about how to handle this.  In a town as small as ours there is no way that the two of us won’t come into contact with each other and it could prove to be very difficult with her in such an unbalanced frame of mind.  I resolved that the best cause of action would be to confront it head on and to try and sort out this issue that stands between us.  After all, the sooner she comes to realise just how delusional she is the better. I have resolved to put my plan into action tomorrow.  It will be best for all concerned, especially my darling Adam.  He does not deserve to be embarrassed any further by this girl, and I will protect him at all costs!

Dear Diary,

Today things went rather well.  As you know, my resolution to get things out in the open about myself and my darling has been preying on my mind lately and I feel that I have definitely decided the right thing by starting a little rumour to that effect. I know how shy my love is and I’m sure that by taking the initiative in our relationship I will have eased his mind quite considerably.

I began with young Joseph at school today.  The boy was avoiding work as usual and I caught him staring out of the window when he was supposed to be completing his mathematical calculations.  I must admit to being rather clever dear diary and used the situation to plant a little seed in his mind that I’m sure he’ll share with his brother tonight.  Instead of merely admonishing him as I am usually wont to do, I kept him in at lunchtime and had a serious talk with him.

I made sure he understood that he is expected to concentrate on his lessons, but I also subtly put in a hint that I the future I would be more available to help him if the work proved to be too difficult for him. I’ve come to the conclusion that he is rather a stupid boy really, as he obviously didn’t pick up on my signal and looked quite perplexed when I said this.  I had to resort to being somewhat blunt with him and let him know that when I become part of his family I would be handy to help him with his homework each night at the ranch.

The boy’s reaction was quite rude to say the least as he scowled at me and refused to answer when I asked him what was the matter.  I really am going to have to take that youngster in hand when I marry into his family.  It’s quite obvious to me that he has missed out on developing manners as a result of not having a woman’s influence in his life.

During the afternoon I set the children to work and busied myself composing a letter to my darling asking him to come and see me tomorrow night.  I really need to explain to him about my plan, as I don’t want him surprised by all the attention that is bound to come his way because of it.

I asked young Joseph to deliver it for me and anyone would think I had written one of my letters to his father again judging by his reaction! Mind you, I have written enough of those to make the boy suspicious I suppose, so I really can’t blame him.  I assured him that it was nothing to do with him however and asked that he give it straight to his brother.

After school I cut out the blue material for my new dress. I think it will be rather fetching when I’ve finished.  I must remember to get some lace for it.

Dear Diary,

Today was rather long and tedious.  I asked young Joseph if he had delivered the letter to his brother and he gave what I can only describe as a strange look.  Honestly, there are times when I wonder about that boy!  He did everything in his power to make my day miserable, stirring up the class with his practical jokes and being quite rude to me.  I was forced to keep him in at lunchtime again and really should have after school as well, but I needed to get away straight after the bell to start on my toilette for tonight.

I made a real effort to look my best for my date tonight with my darling and I must say I really outdid myself.  Unfortunately my new dress wasn’t finished in time, but I did look rather fetching in my favourite yellow one with the red sash and the green underskirt.  I’ve heard it said that some people refer to this outfit as my parrot attire.  I was rather touched when I heard that, as parrots are quite beautiful creatures and I’m so happy to be classed as one of them.

The lemonade and cookies were all ready and I had sat down to wait for my love on the front porch swing when a rather unfortunate incident occurred.  I get the most wonderful view of the main street from my front porch dear diary, which is very handy when it comes to knowing what goes on around town.  Many is the night I have sat here and watched the business of people as they go about their little mundane lives.  It is so important to keep abreast of what’s happening in town if you are a leading citizen as I am and I’m grateful to have it all pass right by my front doorstep so to speak.

The only drawback is that I get a good view of the Silver Dollar Saloon from where I sit.  Unfortunate because I am often subjected to the sight of the many jezebels who frequent the place and their roughneck companions who think that the demon alcohol is their best companion in life.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Hoss Cartwright’s horse tied up outside the saloon in full view of everyone!  Well I was lost for words I can assure you dear diary!  Imagine a Cartwright seen drinking in a saloon!  I was so mortified to think that a future relative of mine would be seen in such a place that I was quite overcome with emotion and had to go inside to lie down.

I suppose that’s how I ended up missing my darling when he came to call.  Dear sweet thing………he was probably timidly knocking and I failed to hear him when he came to the front door.  If only he knew that there is no need for subterfuge any longer!  Our secret will soon be out and he will be able to boldly stride up to the front door and not worry who sees us together. He really is so sweet the way he worries about my reputation.

I really must talk to him about his brother’s drinking problem though.  It just will not do for me to marry into a family where one of its members imbibes alcohol in that manner!

Dear Diary,

Well today I did it!  Yes dear diary, I boldly took the initiative and began to circulate the rumour about myself and my darling around town.  Mind you I was so subtle about it that no one would be able to guess the source of the rumour at all.  My darling will be so proud of me!

I had the opportunity after school today in the Main Street.  Dear Mrs Henshaw and Mrs Smythe were in the middle of a conversation when they saw me coming and pretended to leave.  I was a wakeup to their little game, however, and knew that they only wished not to appear obvious that they were desperate to talk to me in public.   People often try that little ruse with me.  They pretend that I’m not around and I’ve noticed in some cases try to avoid speaking to me at all when they think others are looking.  I’m such a popular figure around town that they believe that others will become jealous when they are seen to monopolise my time.  Dear sweet things that they are!

I would have none of that nonsense however.  I immediately took each of them by the arms and would not let them go until I had had my say.  After a brief enquiry regarding their health I dropped a very subtle hint about my forthcoming nuptials with the eldest Cartwright son.  I could see the shock in their faces, after all it isn’t every day that the most eligible bachelor in the Territory is taken is it?

They were so shocked in fact that neither of them spoke for a full minute and I left them with strict instructions not to tell anyone.  I must admit I had a little giggle to myself as I left them, for if anyone could be counted on to spread the rumour it would be those two ladies.

I myself do not believe in spreading gossip except where it can benefit others, so I am most grateful that there are others who will do it for me. I left them secure in the knowledge that they would see to it that many others heard my news swiftly.

I managed to drop little subtle hints a number of times during the course of my shopping expedition this afternoon, always with a great deal of decorum.  By the time I reached home I was very sure that the news would be heard by many in a very short space of time.  I do hope that Jennifer Parkins is one of the first to hear of it.  Maybe then the girl will calm down and leave my darling alone.  He must find it rather tiring to have to avoid her everywhere he goes.  Poor dear gets into town so infrequently as it is, that it must be hard on him to be forever on the lookout for a meddling girl like that!  Just as well he has me to make up for it.

Dear Diary,

Well if today is anything to go by, my little ruse has been quite successful so far. Even a few of the children at school have heard the rumour I feel, as I was getting some intense looks from some of them during the day.

Young Joseph was quite a handful again today, and was downright rude to me and answered back when I told him to get on with his work.  I will not take insolence from any of my pupils, even if they happen to be future in-laws, so I’m afraid I was forced to discipline the boy with a few swift smacks with the ruler on his hand. Somehow I don’t think that boy likes me.

The town was buzzing with the news after school today and I received many looks as I wandered down the street.  It probably had something to do with my stunning outfit as well though, for it was the purple and red one that always looks so good on me.  I must admit to indulging myself in my dreams a little and couldn’t help but stop and admire the wares in Mrs Eddington’s shop.  She has such wonderful finery in there!  I know it is usually out of reach of my modest purse, but the future Mrs Cartwright can’t afford to skimp on herself after all.

I dropped a rather broad hint that I would return and perhaps do some shopping for my wedding trousseau there in the future.  I think she was rather pleased, as the Cartwright account would be after all a very lucrative one.  I assured her that I would put in a good word for her shop in the right places.

On the way home I got to thinking about it and decided dear diary that after all it isn’t too early to do some planning.  Our wedding will probably be the biggest social event the district has seen in a long time and I do want to be fully prepared for it.  I must make out a list of things to do tomorrow.

Dear Diary,

What a wonderful day it proved to be! It started out so well when young Joseph delivered a letter to me from my darling asking to meet me tonight.  Rather silly of him really as he should know that it choir practice tonight and I would most likely be seeing him anyway, but all the same quite a delight to hear it!

I drifted through the day in quite a haze of dreaming and nothing that young scallywag Joseph could do today worried   me at all.  I set the children to work and spent quite a bit of time on my list this afternoon.  I wanted to have it ready for my darling’s approval tonight.  After all it is his wedding too! I hope he is pleased with my little plan.

Thank goodness I had worked late into the night yesterday and finished that beautiful dark blue dress.  I felt so good in it and knew that he would admire it too.  I arranged my hair in a most becoming style, but I was careful not to be too daring with it.  A lady must always look her best, but still remain discreet at all times.  I do not believe in too many curls or ringlets like some I could mention, but prefer a modest bun to show off my patrician profile.

At the approximate hour of eight he arrived.  I had already sent my apologies to the minister whom I am sure was devastated that I wouldn’t be able to make choir practice this evening, but sometimes we just have to set our priorities in life.  I know they will be able to do without me just this once.  Dear sweet man that he is!  He is always trying to get me to miss one of their sessions……I think he wants me to rest my wonderful voice to ensure that it is always at its peak.  What he doesn’t realise is that my voice is so strong and pure that no amount of rest would improve it.

I greeted my darling and invited him in, but I wasn’t surprised when he declined and asked if we could speak on the front porch.  Typical of him that he wouldn’t want to put me in a compromising position but preferred to talk in full view of everyone.  He always thinks of my comfort and reputation. I sat on the porch swing and invited him with my eyes to join me, but attentive as always he remained standing.

I sensed his eyes upon me and I blushed under his intense gaze.  What beautiful eyes he has!  Such a wonderful physique and manly appearance!  I gazed back at him and noticed a little tuft of chest hair emerging from above the top button of his shirt.  I sighed to think of the wonders that lay beneath those buttons and longed to pull them apart and run my fingers through the maze of dark hair that must abide on his chest!  I do so admire a man with chest hair!

I swear dear diary when I watched him looking at me like that I felt that I could read his mind.  The look on his face showed me that he was wondering of I was for real or not.  I felt like shouting out to him that I was!  Yes my darling I know I am a vision of loveliness and unearthly beauty………..but for one such as you I am definitely for real!

I knew he was going to be pleased about what I had done in starting those rumours, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that he would have reacted in the way that he did.  The poor man was so overcome with emotion that he stammered to find the words to express himself and actually turned red trying to get them out.  What a love!  He started by saying that I really shouldn’t be saying things about us around town and that he would prefer it if I didn’t.  So typical of him to put his feelings for me above his own.

I assured him that it hadn’t been a difficult thing to do at all and that he wasn’t to feel embarrassed that I had had to be the one to drop the hints just because he was too shy.  I explained how important it was for everyone to know the facts and that he shouldn’t concern himself about how hard this was for me, but concentrate on us and how happy we were going to be.

At this point he quite lost his voice and I swear I could see him gulping for air.  I stood and moved towards him, seeking to show him just how I supported him and appreciated his concern for me, when he took a step back and knocked into the post.  That man!  So considerate and such a gentleman!  Even in full view of everyone there on the front porch he still would not give in to his manly urges and approach me, but managed to overcome his own desires and think of my reputation first and foremost.

He said that the time had come to speak plain and I agreed straight away with him.  I took out my list and began to go through it, mentioning all the items that I knew were important to get started on straight away.  I mentioned that a June wedding would be best and even though it doesn’t give us a lot of time I thought it was possible to get it all together by then. I am a wonderful organiser after all.

He said that wasn’t what he meant by speaking plain and I’m afraid at this point I did have a little giggle when I realised I had somewhat rushed things a bit.  After all, the poor thing hadn’t even had time to decently propose to me and I still didn’t have the ring!  I assured him that I was ready to hear what he had to say and sat down and settled myself in order to hear his wonderful words.

I was sure that he would have spent many hours rehearsing his proposal and was very keen to hear how he would phrase it now that the time had come.  I must admit dear diary that I was quite disappointed when all was said and done, and can only put it down to his nervousness.

He began by saying that when he was ready to marry he would choose the woman and let her know in no uncertain terms that she was the woman of his dreams.  Silly man!  I wondered why he was talking about things that had already happened.  He then went on to say that he had no intention of keeping company with me and he hoped that I understood exactly what he was saying.  Of course I understood!  We had reached the stage in our relationship when we were doing far more than keeping company, but I humoured him by agreeing.  He then said that he was still a free agent and hoped I understood that.  At this point I smiled at him.  Of course I understood!  How could I want him to be anything else?  I want his spirit to be free!  Free to love me and have that love returned wholeheartedly!

He stood up then and hesitated.  Sweet thing that he is……I wondered if he wished he had had the ring to give me at that moment, but I felt as I’m sure he did that we both should pick it out later.

I asked him if he would like me to make sure that everyone around town understood how things were between us now and told him that I was happy to make the facts clear.  I could see him breathe a sigh of relief with my words and he agreed.  He said that he hoped he hadn’t hurt me and I wondered what he meant.  Perhaps he believes as many do that women, frail creatures that we are, need constant support and that the joy of the night would prove to be overpowering for me?

As he departed I stopped and looked at the stars for a few moments.  My dear sweet man……my darling Adam…….my gorgeous fiancé!  I longed to call out my happiness for the whole world to hear!

Dear Diary,

Now that things are official between us I intend to really get organised with the wedding.  I assume that my darling has let his family know and I expect that Mr Cartwright will visit me soon to let me know of his happiness.  I know that he will be delighted to have me in the family, as it has always been known that he longs for a daughter in law who is sensitive and cultured as only I can be.  I know that he has longed for this for quite some time and now that I am truly to become part of his family he must be overjoyed.  I must, however, make time to have him understand my wishes regarding Hoss.  I cannot abide a drunkard in the family and will have it known that his middle son must see the error of his ways before the wedding can take place. I’ll have a stern word with him about young Joseph while I’m at it as well.

Speaking of that young man, I’m sure he is out to upset me at the moment!  He actually got into a fight at lunchtime today and when I asked him why he found it necessary to fight so many boys at once he actually told me that it was my fault!  Imagine the hide of the child!

Of course I brought him inside where we couldn’t be overheard and asked him what he meant by that.  He told me that the others were making fun of him because I was telling everyone that I was going to marry his brother.  Dear diary I was quite overcome when I heard the boy say that and realised how involved I’ve been with my own happiness to his detriment.

Of course the other children would be jealous that I was to be part of the boy’s family!  They probably feel that he will have an unfair advantage over me in the classroom as his sister in law.  I was angry with myself for not having thought of this before.  I may not like the boy dear diary, but I do pride myself on being fair and would never play favourites in the classroom.

I sat him down and explained how I would continue to treat him just as I had always done and said that he wasn’t to expect me to be any different to him after I had married his brother.  I let him know that to stop the jealousy we would both have to be very careful to keep our relationship the same and so he could actually expect me to be a little harder on him at times.  This wouldn’t be because I wanted to be, but because it was necessary.  I assured him that I would be very strict with him from now on in order to contain the jealousy of his friends and just to prove my point I gave him afternoon detention.

I must say dear diary, that he didn’t seem to appreciate what I was doing at all!  In fact he gave me what I can only described as a scowl and sulked for the rest of the afternoon.  After school when everyone else had left I talked to him about his attitude and made it clear that he needed to act respectfully towards me.  After all, we would be seeing a lot more of each other in the future both in the classroom and at home.

I swear to you dear diary the boy was quite moved with my words.  I watched the tears begin to well up in his eyes and smiled to see him so overcome with emotion.  He told me that it wasn’t fair and I agreed with him.  After all, who has the right to all this happiness at one time?  I was so moved by his reaction that I must admit I let him off early and felt quite choked up as I watched him ride away. Perhaps he isn’t such a bad boy after all?

Dear Diary,

I went back to Mrs Eddington’s shop today and began to search in earnest for my wedding trousseau. She was quite helpful when I mentioned putting everything on Mr Cartwright’s account and helped me pick out a lot of useful items.  We even discussed sending for material from St Louis that would be suitable for my wedding gown.  Dear sweet lady!  I left intending to go back next week and order quite a few more things.  Now that the Cartwright account is there for me I don’t have to worry about my finances any more and will be able to order exactly what I like.  I must admit that it feels wonderful to find oneself in the situation where money isn’t an issue!

I saw Hoss Cartwright on the street and stopped to speak to him briefly.  I always find it difficult to know just what to say to that young man, but felt of course that I should acknowledge him in view of the fact that we would soon be related.  He is a very shy young man and today was no different to any other.  If anything he was even more distant than he usually is.

I wonder if he suspects that I’m on to his little secret?  How unfortunate that a young man like that should have such a problem!  I wonder what made him turn to the demon alcohol in the first place?  I am so lucky that my Adam would never touch it!

I hinted to Hoss that I would love to receive an invitation to The Ponderosa for dinner.  I must admit that I find it strange that I haven’t received one as yet, for I felt that Mr Cartwright would have much to talk to me about and it would be a way of introducing my relationship with his son to the community.  I’m sure it won’t be long until I receive one though, judging by the look on Hoss’ face.  I’m sure he was embarrassed about it, as his face showed that he couldn’t believe I would have to say something like that.  If the truth be known, I was a little embarrassed that I should have to say it as well.

Jennifer Parkins was also in town today and I’m pleased to say that she avoided me.  Perhaps she has given up now that she knows the truth?  I will continue to be kind to her, even though I am of the opinion that she is a silly young thing. She can’t help the way she was brought up after all. She looked a little shaky on her feet.  Perhaps the rumours of her having a bit of a nervous episode are true?  Poor girl….even though I can’t abide her I wouldn’t like to think that she has a nervous condition on top of all her other problems..

Dear Diary,

Young Joseph brought me a note from his father this morning to say that he wished to speak to me after school today.  I must say that I wasn’t surprised to receive it, although I was surprised at the boy’s reaction at the time.  He was quite cocky and I can only surmise that he had thought about our conversation yesterday and can now see the situation for what it really is.

Mr Cartwright was true to his word ands arrived just as school was dismissed for the day.  He sent young Joseph outside immediately which I thought was rather wise as the youngster is far too nosey for his own good.

I can certainly see where Adam gets his good looks from and I hope that our children inherit their looks from both sides.  If they have a combination of my darling’s dark handsome looks and my stunning features they will truly be beautiful children.

I have always admired Mr Cartwright, even if I don’t agree with some of his methods of child rearing. I feel that he is far too lenient with young Joseph and if he had been then that young man might not cause me the problems that he does. However, that aside he is a man to admire for the way in which he has single-handedly brought up his three sons.  I laid a hand on his arm as we sat down to reassure him of my affection for him as a future father in law.  How happy I am for him to know that those difficult days are now behind him.  He will soon have a wonderful female influence in his house once again for his sons and I am happy to provide them with the feminine role model that they obviously need.

He looked at little startled at my gesture and cleared his throat before speaking.  I decided to help him out and mentioned that I knew why he was there.  He said that he was sure that I did and mentioned how difficult Joseph had been finding things lately because of all the trouble that his older brother had been experiencing. He looked at me intently as he said this, and I knew that he realised I had stumbled onto Hoss’ little secret.

I must admit that I was a little taken aback that he should mention Hoss’ drinking problems so openly.  It was a sign of how strong a father figure he is I suppose.  I nodded sympathetically as he explained how difficult young Joseph had found it lately and how he was being teased by his friends.  I said that I understood and would do whatever I could to help him.  I must admit at the time my mind was racing with thoughts about how hard it must be to have an alcoholic in your family.

Mr Cartwright told me that all his family had been most concerned about the issues that everyone in town was currently discussing and how upset Adam was about it as well.  I nodded again, knowing that my darling would most certainly have been most upset for Hoss. To be honest I didn’t know that the whole town had been talking about it, and felt quite desperate for the Cartwrights upon hearing this.  How difficult for them all it must be! Mr Cartwright said that he hoped this would be an end to it all now.

I assured him that I would do my best to help in whatever way I could.  He thanked me and suggested that we speak to young Joseph together.  When the boy came in he was most sullen and it was only his father’s prompting that got him to talk at all.  We both assured him that the situation should get better as his older brother had now dealt with his problem and hopefully it was over.  Mr Cartwright looked at me intently as he said this and I winked at him to show him my support.  He gave me a very curious look and I fear he may have considered me a little forward in doing so.

Young Joseph for his part didn’t seem convinced and stared at me in a most unnerving fashion.  I found myself thinking how strange it is for two brothers to be so different.  I suppose it is because they are half brothers really.  I have heard around town that young Joseph’s mother was quite a flighty woman, so I suppose that’s where he gets it from. Thank goodness Adam has had the sense to choose a woman who is very stable and trustworthy in that respect.

As he stood to leave I hinted to Mr Cartwright about an invitation to dinner, but understandably he was a little circumspect with young Joseph there and made it obvious that he didn’t want to discuss my relationship with Adam at that particular moment.  In fact he showed his frustration with the boy by uttering an oath under his breath, which I don’t think he intended me to hear. To be honest, I wish I hadn’t caught it, although it was heartening to know that he felt the same frustration just as I did with the boy. As I watched him walk away shaking his head I heard him utter the words that it was like talking to a brick wall.  I knew how he felt…the boy really makes me feel like that at times as well!

After they had left I thought about it at great length and wondered if there had been another reason for Mr Cartwright visiting me as he did.  And then it hit me!  Of course……he was testing me out to see how I would handle the boy’s problems as a member of the family would.  Darling sweet man!  He was trying to make me feel a part of their family by involving them in their problems just like he would with one of his sons.  How lucky I am to be a part of all their lives.

Dear Diary,

Today I visited the Reverend and apologised for not attending choir practice last week.  He didn’t seem to mind at all and encouraged me not to come next Wednesday as well.  Dear man, always so considerate of my vocal chords!  I assured him that I wouldn’t let him down again and would in fact need his advice in choosing the hymns for my upcoming nuptials. He surprised me by being quite abrupt with me and saying that he didn’t think it would be necessary.  Of course with my superb voice and my darling’s musical abilities we are both more than capable of organising things ourselves, but I would have though he might at least have offered to help a little.

The poor man is probably stressed with the problems of keeping the community in line. I’ve heard on the grapevine that Jennifer Parkins is suffering a bit of a breakdown at the moment.  Mind you, I’m not surprised the way that young lady carries on!  Such emotional instability has to result in some kind of problem along the way in some form.  I’m only surprised it hasn’t come sooner.

After visiting the church I made my way over to the Printers Office and asked to see some samples.  It is time after all to start thinking about the invitations and I need to have an idea of what I’d like before I show them to my darling.  It is most decidedly a woman’s prerogative to choose such things and I intend to take the initiative in these matters.

On the way home I was most distressed to see Hoss Cartwright’s horse once again outside the Silver Dollar Saloon and this time I mentioned it to Mr Winters in front of the Mercantile.  I said how upsetting it was that a young man like that should resort to drinking at such an early age.  He gave me what can only be described as a sympathetic look and agreed, before adding that it was a wonder the whole Cartwright family hadn’t taken to getting roaring drunk recently.  They had good cause and no one could blame them if they did. I thought it was rather a strange thing to say!  Sometimes it is very difficult to work out some people!

Dear Diary,

Today was rather quiet and I occupied myself at school by updating my list of things to prepare for the wedding.  Thank goodness young Joseph did his work quietly and didn’t cause me any trouble.  Perhaps yesterday’s talk has helped him to settle down?  I sincerely hope so! Nevertheless it gave me the opportunity to settle the class to work and concentrate on more important things.

I must be honest and admit that I spent quite a part of the day daydreaming, but then I suppose that is normal for brides to be. I blush to think of the direction my thoughts took and it is only to you dear diary that I could admit these things as some of them are not quite seemly for a lady!  It is just that my intended is such a fine figure of a man that it is hard to keep my thought pure and I have been finding of late that they have strayed to his fine physique and handsome features a tad more than could be considered seemly.

There are times when I…… no dear diary, I should not even voice my thoughts even to you.  Suffice to say that I am looking forward with great anticipation to June!

It was in the middle of such thoughts that I became most uncomfortable and looked up to see young Joseph’s eyes upon me.  I blush now when I remember the look that was in those green eyes of his.  Eyes like the devil that’s for sure!  There are many who call him a handsome boy, but I’m not one of them.  To me his looks are too flashy and I mush prefer the dark and brooding looks of his brother.  The look he gave me this afternoon could only be described as one of hatred I’m afraid and I returned it as best I could and motioned for him to get back to his work. Perhaps I’ll have to speak to Adam about his brother if this keeps up?

Dear Diary,

I am beginning to get a little worried about my darling.  It has been quite some time since I laid eyes on him and I really thought he would be in to see me before this.  Each night I dress to please him, but each time I go to bed disappointed that he hasn’t come into town again.  Today I was shopping in town as usual when I spied the Cartwright buggy out side the Mercantile and for a few moments I was in raptures of delight to think that my darling had come into town, but it wasn’t to be.

When I hurried over the street it wasn’t in fact my darling Adam who greeted me, but the Cartwright’s oriental cook Hop Sing.  It is so typical of Mr Cartwright that he has employed such a man and has kept him on for many years.  People say the family are quite attached to him and I think that it is wonderful for them to show tolerance of the Chinese in this way.  Mind you, he will have to know his place when I move in, as I won’t have any undue socialising between the family and the hired help.  It is so unbecoming of a lady to conduct her household in such a way.

I greeted him politely and asked if he knew when Mr Adam would be in town, as I hadn’t seen him for quite some time.  He looked puzzled and told me that Mr Adam had been in town many times recently.  It just goes to show how little these Orientals understand!  I spent some time letting him know my favourite foods and I could tell he was puzzled as to why I did so, but I know that the information will prove invaluable to him when I come for dinner.  He will want to please me and will be most glad then that we have had this conversation.

I found myself thinking about the Ponderosa a lot today and wondering what it will be like to be mistress of it all.  I must admit that the thought pleases me greatly.  I have always thought that I would make a great lady and now I will have the chance to prove it in style.  How grateful I am that I am marrying into that wonderful family with all its money, land and position!  I feel I will be able to bring the Cartwrights an elegance that they will most definitely benefit from.

Dear Diary,

I was in fine voice today in church and surpassed myself in the choir.  I insisted on leading the responses and allowed everyone to enjoy the beauty of my solos.  I was rewarded by the looks on the faces of the congregation which I can only describe as wonderment.

After the Service I tried to catch up with my darling, but he was too quick for me and disappeared before I even made it into the front yard.  Shy thing that he is, he still feels uncomfortable being seen with me in public!  I really must work on his confidence!  He must understand that as we are now betrothed it is quite seemly to be seen in my company.

I did make a point of greeting the rest of the family however, and noticed that Mr Cartwright seemed a tad upset about something.  I’m sure he is most distressed about Hoss and his problem still and then there is young Joseph of course.  That boy!  He did nothing but stare at me all during the Service, which was quite unnerving, especially as I was trying to watch his older brother at the same time.

I must admit to a deep dislike for the boy dear diary.  Never have I come across a child who has unnerved me quite so much as this child!  It is not only the problems he causes me in the classroom, but also his attitude which reaches far beyond it now.  Perhaps I will be able to persuade Mr Cartwright that boarding school would be the best option for him?  I certainly hope so, for I most definitely do not look forward to him underfoot in my home.

Dear Diary,

I had a most confusing day today!  It is obvious to me now that Hoss Cartwright’s problem with the demon alcohol is well known by all and it is difficult to know what to do about it.  I must admit I got quite a shock about it this afternoon when I once again saw his horse outside the Silver Dollar Saloon.

Yet it wasn’t that so much as the fact that my darling Adam’s horse was next to it! Now I must admit at first it quite took me back to see this, but then I remembered of course that he would have been in there trying to persuade his brother not to cause a scene and to leave that despicable place.  Darling man!  Always thinking of others!

Well dear diary, I’m afraid I couldn’t help myself and I indulged in a little discreet subterfuge.  I casually walked past the Saloon and peeked in subtly in such a way that I wouldn’t be noticed.  There, sure enough, was Hoss leaning against the bar drinking and next to him…..well at this point I must stress to you again that my darling Adam was only trying to help his brother……….there was my love drinking as well!

You can imagine my surprise dear diary!  For a moment I became quite angry until I realised that of course he would only be doing it to show his brother the bad effects the demon alcohol would have on him.  I must say however, that I’m not sure of his methods in this regard, still I’m certain that he knows best.  I must however have a quiet word to him when I have the opportunity to.  It isn’t seemly to frequent such places if it can be avoided.  I’m sure he would much rather have been sipping lemonade with me, but he as always put himself last and thought of his brother!

What happened next though dear diary, can only be described as a very difficult situation.  In fact I still blush to think of it now even hours later.  One of those scantily clad jezebels came over to my darling and put her arm around him.  Of course I knew straight away that he would have been so embarrassed at that moment, but far too polite to back away from her, so I did something that took a lot of courage and fortitude.

Without thinking of myself I sailed right in there and pushed that brazen hussy backwards.  I blush even now when I think of how stalwart I was!  She was quite taken by surprise I must admit and lost her balance momentarily but I soon pulled her to her feet again.  I must admit to a little discreet shaking of her at this point, but I’m sure no one noticed except herself. These women certainly need to be put in their places!

Everyone in the Saloon stopped and looked at me.  I know is must have an unusual sight for a lady of breeding to enter such an establishment, but needless to say it had to be done.  I let her know in no uncertain terms how unladylike her behaviour was and how I expected her to leave my darling alone.  She didn’t have the audacity to answer me back of course, as I think she was stunned to say the least.  I certainly made and impression on her and I’m sure she’ll learn from the experience and perhaps think twice before making that mistake again.

Not that I blame her and her type though, dear diary.  Who could resist the man after all and there must be many women in Virginia City who are particularly jealous of me at the moment in my position as his fiancé.

When I had sorted out that jezebel I turned to my beloved and gave him one of my winning smiles as I suggested we leave.  Dear man and devoted brother that he is though, he refused and in fact looked quite upset as I spoke.  What loyalty!  What brotherly affection!  Even after such a scene he still wouldn’t leave his brother to give in to the demon alcohol and stood resolutely by his side even then.

I calmly told him I quite understood and left them to it, giving one of my best foreboding stares and a discreet kick to that jezebel on the way out.  I heard him ask his brother just what he had done to deserve all this as I left. Darling man! If he only knew that I consider myself the lucky one!

Dear Diary,

After yesterday’s incident in the Saloon I was quite proud of myself and spent last night dreaming sweet dreams of my betrothed and how lucky we were to have found each other.  So you can imagine my disappointment on hearing the news today.

It was young Joseph who let me know of this new development this morning.  He was quite cheery about it really now that I come to think of it, and seemed quite pleased to be telling me.

It seems that my darling has gone to San Francisco for a while. You can imagine how devastated I was when I heard the news!  Oh I know I must get used to this of course, as someone who runs a ranch as large as The Ponderosa must often become involved in business dealings away from home and my darling has such a wonderful business sense that I’m sure his father relies on him a great deal for this sort of thing.  Nevertheless it is distressing to be without the one you love and I was quite distraught to hear it.

I also wondered why he hadn’t told me himself, until young Joseph inadvertently let the cat out of the bag.  He said that his brother had to go to San Francisco because of me and that he wanted to get away from me for a while.  Of course!  When he said that I realised just what was going on.  The darling man had gone to the city to choose a ring and wanted to surprise me with it! How like him to be so thoughtful!  And of course with the wedding drawing ever closer he must be finding it so difficult to keep his thoughts pure and behave like the gentleman that I know he is.  He needs to keep some space between us for a while in order not to compromise me in any way.

Difficult though it is, I do understand dear diary.  Oh how I long for these next few weeks to pass quickly so that my darling and I can truly come together as one!  Only after we are married can I really be fulfilled, as a woman should be.  Only then will I begin to fulfil my destiny as Mrs Adam Cartwright!

Come home soon my love!  I await you with such longing and passion! Until we meet again my sweet prince ….. adieu!

The End