Summary:  All four Cartwrights have women trouble.
Rating:  G  9,150 words

The Fairer Sex

CHAPTER 1

Hoss sighed as he reached for his boots and began to pull them on.  He was definitely not looking forward to this day, and dreaded what may be ahead of him. At fifteen, he was physically as big as many men, but he had a boy’s heart and mind, and the thought of what his friend Steve had asked him to do was gnawing away at him as he fretted about how to handle the situation.

Steve had recently become smitten with a certain young lady named Susan who had recently arrived in Virginia City and commenced school with both the boys in the little Virginia City schoolhouse.  She was a good-looking girl who had stolen Hoss’ friend’s heart, and he was counting on today’s picnic to cement their friendship together.  The problem was Isabelle, Steve’s thirteen-year old sister who would be his responsibility to look after for the day.  That was where Hoss came in.

After much pleading from his friend Hoss had given in and decided to help him out by distracting Isabelle and keeping her busy, hopefully preventing her from ruining her brother’s plan.  The problem was, Hoss was extremely shy with girls and had no idea how to keep Isabelle busy and away from her brother.  What was he to say to her, and how was he to know when to say it?  Steve was counting on him and Hoss didn’t want to let his friend down, but he was sure that he would not be able to keep his promise.

He looked in the mirror and picked up his comb to tidy his sandy hair, frowning at his reflection and wished for the millionth time that he had the good looks of either of his brothers.  His older brother Adam had the brooding dark looks and the witty remarks that caused many girls to fall at his feet.  He never had any trouble attracting girls or keeping them amused.  Hoss wished that he had Adam’s ease of conversation and knack of knowing just how to act appropriately with everyone. He sighed.  If only this day were over.

At that moment, his younger brother Little Joe burst into the room and bounced on the bed.  Hoss was sure that Little Joe had never entered a room quietly in his life.  At nine years old, Joe was a bundle of energy with a knack of showing up just when he was not needed and finding out things that were sure to get him into trouble.

‘Hi Hoss, ain’t ya ready yet? Pa’ll be mad if we’re late for breakfast on a Sunday.  You know he always says we have to be on time for church.’ Usually it was Little Joe who kept the family waiting, so for once when he was on time he was determined to rub it in.

‘Well go on downstairs if you’re so worried, and get off my bed!’ Hoss retorted.

Little Joe continued to bounce on the bed, studying his brother with his head on one side.  It was not like Hoss to be short with him, especially so early in the morning.

‘What’s up with you? Today’s the picnic day, so you should be glad to get there on time.’

Hoss scowled at him as he pulled on his jacket. ‘What’s so darned important about a picnic anyway? We’ve been to plenty and they’re nothing special.’

Little Joe’s eyes widened.  ‘But there’s going to be games and food and everything.  Why ain’t you happy about going?’

‘Mind your own business. It’s got nothing to do with you.’ Hoss turned to leave the room, and after a moment Little Joe shrugged and followed him.

Downstairs at the dining table, Adam and his father were commencing breakfast, and Adam was reflecting on the day ahead in a very different way to his brother upstairs.  For the past few weeks he had been getting acquainted with a certain Miss Louisa Davis, daughter of the new local banker and he was looking forward to getting to know her a little more closely at today’s picnic. He sat and chewed silently while contemplating the day’s events ahead.

Suddenly, his father’s voice startled him.  ‘Joseph, for once could you please come down those stairs without such a racket?’  Adam glanced over to see his two younger brothers approaching the table.  Hoss had a decidedly sour expression on his face, and Little Joe was grinning behind him as he jumped the last four stairs to land with a loud thud on the living room floor. As they made their way towards the table, Little Joe pushed past his brother, who lashed out at him sideways. ‘Watch where you’re going, will ya?’ he shouted to the younger boy.

Ben frowned. ‘Boys, it would be nice if we could for once start the day without any of that nonsense.  Now sit down and get on with your breakfast please, or we’ll be late for church.’  Both boys took their places on either side of their father.

Little Joe grinned at Adam as he helped himself to some toast.  ‘Bet you’re looking forward to the picnic today ain’t ya Adam?’ he asked.

‘What makes you say that?’ asked his older brother while knowing that he would probably regret asking.

‘So that you can get the chance to kiss that new girl of yours,’ replied his little brother.

Adam reddened slightly as his father hid a smile behind his coffee cup.  It amazed him how his youngest son seemed to always have so much information about his brothers’ lives.

‘Mind your own business Joseph,’ said their father sternly.  ‘What Adam does is no affair of yours.’

‘Well everyone knows Adam is sweet on Louisa Davis.’ replied his youngest son.

‘Well everyone is not you,’ replied his father. ‘Now eat your breakfast.’

‘Are you going to kiss her Adam?’ persisted Little Joe smiling at him between bites, his green eyes twinkling.

‘Why don’t you just shut up,’ said Adam, frowning at his youngest brother.

‘I wouldn’t want to kiss a girl,’ continued Little Joe. ‘I couldn’t think of anything worse!’ he declared.

‘One day you might change your mind about that,’ said Adam darkly.

‘Uh uh, not me,’ replied his little brother. ‘I hate girls!’

‘Really?’ asked his father quite amused. ‘And why is that?’

‘They’re really dumb, and they like dumb things too,’  his youngest son replied. ‘Plus they always want people to kiss them.

‘And you have experience in this area?’ asked Adam sarcastically.

‘Heck no!  I told ya, I’m never kissing no girl! I’d rather kiss a horse first,’ replied the youngest Cartwright vehemently.

‘Wouldn’t put that past you either,’ muttered Adam, earning a frown from his father.

Ben turned to his middle son. ‘You’re very quiet this morning Hoss. Anything wrong?’

Hoss shook his head and continued to eat his breakfast. He had been listening to the conversation quietly, whilst thinking about the difficulties ahead of him.  The talk had started him thinking that maybe he should ask Adam’s advice about how to handle Isabelle.  Shaking his head slightly, he decided against it.  Adam might have some advice that would help him, but he really couldn’t risk Little Joe overhearing his problem.  He knew from bitter experience just how difficult his life might be if that youngster suspected he was having girl trouble.

Ben studied each of his sons in turn over the top of his coffee cup.  They were all different in so many ways. Adam was a self-possessed young man who handled himself well in many situations and had a certain charm with women, that Ben knew was not unlike his own. Hoss, for all his shyness, was the sort of boy that girls would love to mother and bring out of his shell.  However, Ben knew that Hoss would run a mile if he thought a female was interested in him, and suspected that he would not be easy to catch.  And as for Little Joe, well Ben did not for one minute believe the boy’s declaration of his lack of interest in the opposite sex.  Given his natural charm and good looks, it was only a matter of time before his words became as hollow as they sounded.  Ben suspected strongly that this youngest boy of his would prove to be irresistible to women once he decided they were worth his attention, and probably before then as well.

Ben sighed.  As if he didn’t have enough trouble himself with women without becoming involved in his sons’ love lives as well.  Ben knew that as an eligible and wealthy widower, he was the target of many a woman’s attentions in the Territory, and he had for years trod a difficult path between keeping them at a distance without offending them.  It was a path that became very wearying at times.  Ben counted himself as a man with considerable experience with women – after all he had been married three times! – yet they still never ceased to amaze him. How much easier at times life would be without the fairer sex.

‘Come on boys,’ he declared as he stood up from the table. ‘We’ll be late for church and that picnic if we don’t get a move on.’ He strode to the door followed eagerly by Adam and Little Joe, with Hoss bringing up the rear dragging his feet.

CHAPTER 2

As the Cartwrights pulled up in their buggy at the front of the small weatherboard church they surveyed the large crowd that had gathered outside in the yard.  The church was usually half full for the Sunday Service, but the promise of a picnic day afterwards had brought ranchers and their families from near and far, and the pews promised to be overflowing today.

As they alighted from the buggy that held all four of them, Ben kept a firm grip on Little Joe’s arm, as was his usual habit.  The boy had a tendency to wander off in crowds and find trouble if it was about, and the last thing Ben needed was to be searching for a lost son just when the services were about to begin.  He knew from past experience that the safest thing to do was to keep a firm grip on his youngest son, keep the other two in full view, and get into the church as quickly as possible.

It was not Little Joe however, who escaped him this time but Adam, who wandered straight over to where Louisa and her parents were standing next to the fence.  Ben shrugged as he watched his oldest boy tip his hat to the group, and turned to lead his two younger boys into the church.  He knew that Adam would find his way inside eventually, and he could usually count on his oldest son to be reliable.

He quickly found the Cartwright pew and sat down with Hoss and Little Joe on either side of him, leaving room for Adam at the end of the row.  Glancing at Hoss, he wondered what was wrong with the boy, for he had been unusually quiet during the ride into town and now sat with his head down as if lost in thought. Little Joe was fidgeting as usual, and Ben kept his hand on his thigh to remind him to be still. This technique usually lasted for part of the service at least.

Adam was using his time productively, trying to impress Louisa’s parents. Throughout the small talk that took place, he sensed her eyes watching him intently, and was pleased to see the smile that was evident upon her face at his approach.  Louisa was tall, slim and blond, with blue eyes and a tilted nose.  She had an engaging laugh and a ready wit that Adam found intriguing, and he was looking forward to getting to know her better.

‘May I walk you inside?’ he asked politely.  Louisa looked at her father who nodded, and she took Adam’s arm as they walked across the front yard of the church.

‘So I’ll see you later at the picnic?’ he whispered as they approached the porch.

Louisa nodded. ‘Of course.  Maybe we’ll be able to find a quiet spot to catch up with each other.’  She leaned closer to Adam and looked closely into his eyes, and he could feel her sweet breath against his cheek.  He swallowed, his thoughts racing ahead to things that had nothing to do with the nature of the building they were entering.  As he escorted her to her seat and turned to join his father and brothers at their pew, he rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants leg and smiled guiltily at his father who frowned at him.

As they stood to begin the first hymn Hoss looked around for his friend Steve and his family, and frowned as he noticed them on the other side of the congregation. Steve was watching him intently, and motioning with his head towards his younger sister who was seated next to him.  Isabelle was a nice looking girl with dark hair braided into two plaits that hung down either side of her head, and topped with two huge red bows that bobbed as she sang lustily.  Hoss knew her from school, and he had always thought of her as a serious girl who studied hard and did well at her lessons.  Even though she was younger than him Hoss always felt rather in awe of her knowledge, and this combined with his natural shyness with girls had meant that he had had little if anything to do with her over the years.

He sighed to himself as he thought about the day ahead.  He considered briefly the idea of pretending to be sick and asking his Pa if he could go home straight after the service, but he knew he really couldn’t let Steve down.  Hoss prayed that the minister would take it into his head to speak for a very long time today, or that a natural disaster would overtake them.  He spent the rest of the service praying for a miracle in the shape of a thunderstorm or a cattle stampede through the middle of the town.

As they sat after the hymn for the first reading, Ben felt an uneasy feeling that he was being watched.  He turned his head sideways and saw Kathryn Whelan’s eyes on him as she smiled widely and nodded her head in greeting.  Kathryn was a prominent member of Virginia City, a widow whose husband had died some years earlier and left her with a modest income that ensured her a comfortable living.  She spent a lot of her time involved in charitable works for the town, practising the organ for the Sunday services and generally sticking her nose into anyone’s business that took her fancy.

She was the type of woman that Ben tried his hardest to stay well clear of, particularly as he knew that she invested a considerable amount of time planning how to attract the attentions of anyone who might fit the mould of a future husband for herself.  Unfortunately, she had obviously decided that Ben might just fulfil her needs, and she made that clear in her attentions towards him.  He had planned many a hasty getaway on a Sunday morning after church, and was becoming quite adept with his excuses.

Today, however, he knew that he would have to be very creative in order to avoid the woman because of the picnic that she would undoubtedly attend.  He turned towards his youngest son as an excuse to divert his attention, and tapped him smartly on the leg.  Little Joe looked up surprised, as for once he had been sitting quietly, seemingly paying attention to the minister, and he was unsure as to why his Pa was cautioning him.  Ben frowned at him slightly and motioned with his finger towards the front of the church, as if to focus his attention there.

‘But Pa,’ Little Joe whispered. ‘I wasn’t doing nothing.  I was….’ Ben motioned him to be quiet, satisfied that he no longer had to look at Katherine.

Little Joe pouted and hunched down lower in his seat, angry that his father should admonish him for nothing.  If the truth be known, however, the boy had not been watching the minister at all, but rather a quite large spider that was inching its way across the back of the pew in front of them.  He was wondering how he could manage to catch it without being noticed by his father or brothers, and get it into his pocket without any fuss.  Not that he had much use for the spider at the moment, but he was sure it would come in handy before the day was out.  Little Joe was well known for his tricks, and he was always looking for a victim for one of his practical jokes.

He looked up at his father who was focussing his attention on the minister, and then his two brothers.  Adam had a dreamy faraway expression on his face that Joe knew well.  He grinned as he thought of the girl that was behind it.  Maybe he could use the spider on her later? Hoss for once also seemed to be in another world as he gazed intently across the room staring at Isabelle Hawkins.  Little Joe thought about that briefly for a moment, and stored away the knowledge for future use.  He turned towards the spider again, knowing that the perfect moment for its capture had arrived.

But just as his hand slowly reached forward to make a grab for it, another small hand slipped past his from the pew in front, and snatched the spider from his grasp.  He looked up suddenly and saw a pair of twinkling brown eyes and an impish grin laughing at him from the middle of a freckled face and he frowned.  That Becky Payne again!  Payne by name and pain by nature, he decided, as he wrinkled his nose at her and stuck out his tongue.

Becky grinned again as she tucked the spider into her pocket and turned back to the front of the church.  Little Joe thought briefly about slipping something down the back of her dress, but he had not had the chance to collect his usual supply of small insects, due to the enforced march into the church with his father.  He had no choice but to sit quietly and content himself with thoughts of how he would get back at her at the picnic later, while gazing at the back of her neck.

Becky was one of the main reasons why Little Joe had decided that he hated girls. They attended the local school together where they both had a large group of friends. Due to the fact that they were of the opposite sex and in spite of their similar ages, the two had never really mixed in the same circles.  The few times they had had contact with each other, however, neither had been impressed.  Becky was a natural leader and a girl of very strong opinions, and she refused to be won over by the charm that Little Joe usually exerted over people.  She took no notice of the fact that she was a mere girl, and in Little Joe’s eyes and that of his male friends had far too much to say for herself.  As far as Joe was concerned, the sooner that girl was taught a lesson the better!  He spent the rest of the service thinking about how to get the spider back from her.

For the remainder of the service Ben was mildly surprised at how quiet and focussed his boys seemed to be on the minister’s words.  He glanced along the pew and watched each of them proudly.  Little did he suspect that none of them was in fact even remotely interested in what was being said, and all three were preoccupied in one way or another with thoughts of the fairer sex.

CHAPTER 3

After the service Ben’s thoughts were similarly occupied, as Katherine Whelan made her way towards him in the crowd outside the church.  ‘Ben, oh Ben!’ she cried as he grabbed Little Joe by the arm and turned to get to the buggy quickly.

Sighing, he turned reluctantly back to face her, as he tipped his hat.  ‘Good morning Katherine, how are you today?’

Katherine beamed at him, her ample bosom heaving with the exertion of the chase across the yard. ‘I’m very well thank you! Just checking that you are going to the picnic today.  It would be a shame for everyone if the handsome Cartwright men couldn’t be there.’

‘Oh we’re going ma’am!’  Little Joe interrupted, then immediately regretted his remark as the woman turned her attentions towards him.

‘Oh Joseph! What a handsome young man you’re growing into!  You must be very proud of this one Ben.’  She bent down and pinched Little Joe on the cheek, trying to act as motherly as she knew how.

Ben swallowed as he caught the look his youngest son gave him. If there was one thing Little Joe hated, it was being pinched on the cheek and Ben knew it. ‘I’m proud of all my boys Katherine,’ he said inching away from her as Little Joe scowled up at him and rubbed his face.

‘And so you should be.  They are wonderful youngsters, though it’s such a pity you haven’t had a woman’s help in raising them.’

Ben searched around for one of his wonderful youngsters to help him, and momentarily let go of Little Joe’s arm.  Ten seconds was all it took for that young man to disappear into the crowd, and Ben sighed as he surrendered himself to ten long minutes of listening to Katherine’s not so subtle list of her wifely attributes.

Little Joe crouched low and scuttled amongst the legs around him until he spied the blue dress that he had been searching for.  Becky was standing talking with a group of her girl friends and was momentarily startled when the boy bobbed up beside her and thrust his hand in front of her face.

‘Where’s my spider? Give it back now, Becky Payne.’

Becky stuck her tongue out at him and smirked. ‘Your spider indeed! Should have been quicker if you thought it was yours, shouldn’t you?’

Little Joe glared at her. ‘You just give it back if you know what’s good for you, or else I’ll…..’

‘You’ll what? Hit a girl?  I don’t think so.’  The group of girls laughed at him.

Little Joe clenched his fists and thought.  He knew he would be in a lot of trouble if he dared hit a girl, but there were other ways to get her back. ‘I don’t need to hit you, but you’ll be sorry if you don’t give it to me,’  he replied.

‘Little Joe won’t hit her because he really likes her,’ declared a girl in the group, and Little Joe turned to face her.

‘Me?  Like a girl? You’ve got to be kidding!’ he exclaimed. ‘Girls are good for nothing but causing trouble.  Why, I could beat any girl at anything, any day of the week!’

‘Really?’ countered Becky. ‘Let’s just see about that. I challenge you to a contest.’

‘Of what?’

‘Does it matter?  You said you could beat me at anything, so prove it at the picnic today.’ She turned away and pushed him, and Little Joe fell back and landed on someone’s foot.  He looked up into the scowling face of his big brother Adam, who was passing by with Louisa on his arm.

‘Hey, watch out will you?’ Adam scowled at him, as Louisa gave him a disdainful look.

‘Really Adam,’ she sighed, ‘Can’t you keep that little brother of yours in line?’

Adam bent down and rubbed his ankle, and stared at Little Joe’s face closely as he whispered.  ‘Get lost, will you!’

Little Joe looked up at him with a hurtful expression, and said in an extra loud voice,  ‘Why Adam, I think Pa might be looking for you.  Does he know you’re with a girl?’

Adam scowled at him and pulled Louisa away by the arm.  She leant towards him and brushed against his shoulder with her face.  ‘Why Adam, no need to sweep me off my feet like this!’  She nestled her head into his chest, and Adam pulled away from her.

‘Not here!  What would everyone think?’

‘’What does it matter?’ she replied.

‘It matters because we’re still in the church grounds for heavens sake and your folks are just over there, not to mention my Pa!’

‘Oh don’t be an old fuddy duddy!  For goodness sake Adam, we’re not doing anything wrong.’

‘Still, I’d rather wait until we can be alone.’ he replied, smiling at her.

‘Oh all right!  Come on then, let’s get to the picnic!’  Louisa flounced off, leaving Adam scratching his head in confusion.  What had he said to annoy her?  He looked around for his brothers and his father, and saw Hoss over near the porch of the church, in conversation with his friend Steve and some girl.

‘Hoss, you know Isabelle, don’t you?’ Steve asked as he winked at his friend.  Hoss swallowed as his moment of truth arrived and looked at Steve as everyone waited for his reply.  ‘Hoss?’ Steve repeated hopefully.

Isabelle interrupted impatiently. ‘Of course he knows me Steve!  We all go to school together don’t we? Hello Hoss.’

Hoss smiled at her and tipped his hat.  For a moment all three looked at each other, then Steve tried again. ‘Going to the picnic Hoss?’ Hoss nodded, still smiling. ‘Well, we’ll probably see you there then.’ Steve glared at his friend and motioned towards his sister with his hand.

‘Uh, yeah sure thing Steve.’ muttered Hoss. ‘Uh, you too I guess, Isabelle.’

Isabelle smiled at him.  ‘Yes of course. Come on Steve, mother and father are waiting for us.’  She pulled on his arm.

Steve glared at Hoss as he was dragged away. ‘Make sure you come talk to us Hoss. We’ll be looking for you.’ he yelled.  Hoss nodded miserably as his older brother came up behind him and put his arm on his shoulder.

‘What was that all about?’

‘Nuthin. Leave me alone.’ Hoss shook off his hand and stomped over to the buggy.  ‘Are we going to this picnic or not?’

‘Absolutely!’ beamed Adam.  ‘Can’t get there quickly enough as far as I’m concerned.’  The two brothers climbed into the buggy and looked into the crowd.  Across the yard they saw Ben dragging Little Joe by the arm, as Katherine Whelan followed them.

‘See you there Ben!’ she cried and Ben nodded grimly as he hoisted Little Joe into the buggy.  Little Joe rubbed his arm and scowled at his father as he sat hunched down in the back of the buggy.

‘Don’t know what I did wrong.’ he muttered. ‘I wasn’t doing nothing!’

Ben glared at him. ‘Next time you’ll stay with me as you’re supposed to do, young man!  I had to come looking for you.’

‘And not a moment too soon by the look of Mrs Whelan.’ muttered Adam.

‘’What was that?’

‘Nothing Pa, just anxious to get to the picnic is all.’ replied his eldest son, and picked up the reins.  The buggy jolted forward, and the four Cartwrights headed with mixed feelings towards the picnic grounds.

CHAPTER 4

The pasture near the lake was becoming crowded as the Cartwrights pulled up, and it seemed like everyone who could get there had made the effort to join the picnic.  Adam left the buggy under the shade of a large tree, and Hoss removed the large picnic basket from the back of the buggy before they went to search for a shady spot to sit.

Ben chose a place right in the middle of several family groups, mainly with a view to having company to distract himself if he found himself caught by Katherine at any stage.

‘Oh boy!’ said Hoss as he lifted the top of the picnic basket and began to remove the many delicacies that Hop Sing had packed for them.  Little Joe pushed against him, trying to get closer.

‘Let me see. What have we got?’ he asked.

Adam hauled him back by the neck of his shirt and placed him on the picnic rug. ‘Just hold on and wait.’ he said. ‘Don’t be so impatient.’

Ben seated himself on the rug and looked around him as Hoss and Adam spread the food out.  It was a beautiful day and many of their friends were appearing.  Yes, Ben thought, it was good to have a bit of time away from the ranch, and it would be an enjoyable day as long as…..

‘Ben, oh Ben!’ a shrill voice rang out through the air, and Adam bent his head to smother a smile.  Little Joe frowned as Katherine appeared a few feet away, carrying a rather large picnic basket.  ‘What’s she doing here?’ he asked, but was silenced immediately by a look from Ben.

‘What a lovely spot you’ve chosen,’ Katherine declared, sitting herself down beside them and undoing her basket. ‘I think I’ll take this place right next to you.’  Ben smiled thinly and nodded briefly to her as he turned back towards his boys.

‘Now boys eat up,’ he said. ‘Plenty of time for you to eat your fill.’

But Adam’s attention was already elsewhere as he searched the crowds for a sight of Louisa.  ‘I think I’ll eat later Pa,’ he said and stood up to go in search of her.

‘Adam!’ called his father, but the young man had already melted into the crowd.

Little Joe was stuffing a sandwich into his mouth as he stood and inched away from Katherine. ‘I’ve got to go too, Pa,’ he said. ‘Need to find a few friends.’

‘Joseph!’ yelled his father as the boy scampered off. ‘You need to eat more than that.’  But his words fell on thin air.  He turned to Hoss who was busily tucking into the delights in front of him.  At least he could always depend on his middle son to stay close when there was food around!  The two of them ate in silence as they listened to Katherine’s monologue next to them, exchanging glances as they chewed.

Hoss was in no hurry to move away from the basket and face the problems that he knew were before him, but even he could only eat so much.  As soon as Katherine saw that he was slowing down, she leant over to him and smiled. ‘Don’t let us keep you away from your friends, Hoss. I’m sure that you would like to go and find them now.’

Hoss swallowed a large mouthful and answered truthfully ‘No ma’am, I’m in no hurry at all.’

Ben smiled at him fondly.

Just then, Steve and Isabelle appeared in front of them.  ‘Hoss, there you are!’ Steve said and threw his friend a meaningful glance. ‘We’ve been looking everywhere for you.’  Hoss looked up at them and smiled warily. ‘Come on,’ continued Steve ‘lets go and sit by the river.’ He bent down and pulled on his friend’s arm as he whispered in his ear ‘You promised!’

Hoss reluctantly got up and shrugged his shoulders at his father before ambling after Steve and Isabelle. Katherine moved over to his vacated spot on the rug and stroked Ben’s arm as she said ‘Well just the two of us, how nice!’  Ben sighed and pulled his hat down lower over his face, as he wondered how short a time he would have to stay before it would be considered rude to move.

Adam had quickly found Louisa and her family, and it was no time at all before he had earned himself an invitation to join them while they ate.  Over the sandwiches and cake he and Louisa smiled at each other, and managed to touch hands as often as possible when reaching for the food.  As soon as he considered he could do so without appearing rude, he suggested a walk over to the lake, and Louisa readily agreed.

As they walked arm in arm along the shoreline, Louisa buried her head on Adam’s shoulder and smiled up at him.  ‘Well, it’s about time we got away from everyone, don’t you think?’ He smiled down at her and kissed her lightly on the top of the head. ‘Adam, why don’t we find a nice quiet spot to talk?’ she asked as she stroked his arm.  He nodded and led her over to a willow tree where the drooping branches would provide them with a considerable amount of privacy.  They nestled down on the soft grass, and wrapped their arms around each other as Adam bent his head and placed his lips on her full mouth. He smiled as he felt her relax into his embrace and they smiled at each other.

Around the shoreline away from Adam’s secluded spot, another Cartwright was not so pleasantly occupied.  Hoss sat next to Isabelle staring into the water and cursing Steve silently, as he wiped his sweaty palms on the side of his pants.  After leading them to this spot, Steve had made a hasty departure muttering something about getting his hat and returning in a moment, something that Hoss knew was not about to happen. After a few moments he sensed Isabelle staring at him, and reluctantly turned to face her.

‘Um, I guess it looks as Steve ain’t coming back,’ he ventured.

Isabelle frowned at him. ‘No I guess not. I’m not stupid you know Hoss, I know what he’s up to.’

‘You do?’ Hoss asked surprised.

‘Of course I do.  He’s been trying to get to talk to Susan alone for ages.  I knew he’d try to get rid of me today.  I’m only sorry that you got dragged into this.’

Hoss smiled tentatively at her. ‘I don’t mind,’ he said, and surprised himself by realising that at that moment, it was true.  He looked at Isabelle out of the corner of this eye and appraised her dark glossy plaits, her upturned nose with just a smattering of freckles and her winning smile.  She was a goodlooking girl, he decided.

‘After all, I can understand that he doesn’t want his little sister trailing along behind him,’ she continued, ‘I just wish he had the decency to tell me.’  Hoss stared at her not sure what reply was expected of him. He opened his mouth, then shut it again as she continued. ‘Don’t feel that you are obligated to stay with me Hoss.  You can go if you’d like to, and I’ll just sit here by myself. ‘ Hoss opened his mouth again, but she kept on speaking. ‘I really don’t want to get him into trouble with mother and father though, so I guess I’ll just have to make sure that I don’t go near them for a while. You know Hoss, it’s been ages since I was on a picnic. How about you?  It’s perfect weather for it.  When I woke up this morning I thought ……’ her voice droned on and on, and Hoss began to think that maybe his day was not going to turn out too badly after all.

Little Joe was not feeling the same as his older brother, however.  After scampering away from his father he had quickly found a group of friends and the boys had gone straight down to the lake to skim stones.

‘Good one Little Joe!’ shouted his friend Mitch as Joe’s stone skipped four times across the surface of the water before plopping into the lake. ‘Let’s see if I can beat it now.’

Little Joe stepped back to watch his friend when he was startled by a voice next to him. ‘Huh, four times is nothing.  Anyone could do better than that!’  He swung around to see Becky and her group of friends standing with their hands on their hips.

‘Oh yeah?’ he countered.  ‘Well you wanted a contest, so you’ve got one! See if you can beat it Miss Smarty!’

Becky smirked at him and promptly sent a stone flicking across the lake, skipping it five times before it plopped under the water.  Little Joe frowned as the girls cheered.  ‘Go on Little Joe, you can beat that easy!’ countered Seth.

Little Joe picked up another stone nervously and aimed it carefully, just as Adam had taught him to.  It flicked gracefully across the lake three times before it dropped in.

Becky laughed loudly. ‘You call that a throw?  Told you I could beat you.’

Little Joe reddened. ‘You just had a lucky throw.  Why don’t we try for something more interesting?’

Becky smiled at him. ‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know. Anything you like!’ Little Joe waved his arm in the air as if he didn’t have a care in the world. ‘I told you I could beat you at anything, and I meant it.’

‘Well then, let’s go for everything!’ Becky countered, and everyone turned towards her.

‘What do you mean?’ asked Little Joe nervously.

‘All the games today at the picnic, of course silly.  One point for each time we beat each other and we add up the points at the end of the afternoon. The winner could get to make the loser do anything they want.’

Little Joe swallowed nervously. ‘That’s just stupid.’

‘Go on Little Joe, you can beat her!’ cried some of the boys standing near.

‘Well of course I can beat her, I just don’t want to embarrass her is all,’ said Little Joe.

‘Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself!’ Becky challenged as she held out her hand.  Little Joe reluctantly took it and they shook on the deal.

CHAPTER 5

After putting up with Katherine for over half an hour, Ben decided that he had had more than enough and looked for a way to extradite himself from the situation.  As soon as the afternoon’s activities began, he stood to make his excuses, stating something about needing to help with the organisation, before Katherine could get a word in.  With a huge sense of relief he headed towards the first group of picnickers that he could see and found himself in charge of the horseshoe throwing events.

As the afternoon wore on, he looked for his sons while applying himself to his duties, and found it strange that they were nowhere around.  He spied Little Joe at intervals with a group of his friends in tow, seemingly involved on the various activities that were on offer around the pasture.  Adam he did not catch sight of at all, but that did not surprise him, as he knew that young man would most likely have found a secluded spot in which to woo his latest love. Ben smiled.  That was what he would have done at his age, at least.  What surprised him most was the fact that Hoss was nowhere to be seen.  Normally at these events, his middle son could be found anywhere near the food, and always took a vantage spot at the front of the crowd so that he could join in many of the games that were on offer.

Games at that moment were the last thing on Hoss’ mind, however.  He was discovering that for once he did not need to worry about holding up his end of the conversation with a girl, and had begun to relax and enjoy Isabelle’s company.  That girl could definitely talk, and Hoss was quite happy to sit back and watch her as she did.  For the first time in his life he was having a pleasant time with a member of the opposite sex, and was well content with it.

‘So you see Hoss, it all depended on whether or not I wanted to. You see mother….’ Her voice droned on and Hoss listened, not really caring what she was talking about but happy to watch her as she spoke.  As for Isabelle, she had never had such a co-operative audience and revelled in his undivided attention.

After a while they were interrupted by a group of children running past.  Hoss turned to see his little brother out in front of the pack leading the race. ‘Come on, Little Joe!’ he yelled, momentarily distracted from Isabelle. ‘Look at that kid go, he sure is beating the pants off the others!’

It was true.  Little Joe had always been quick on his feet, and had had plenty of practice at making quick getaways from his father and brothers when he was in trouble – which was often. Right now he was running not only to win the race, but for male pride.  Becky had proved to be a formidable opponent in many of the games so far, and try as he might he had found it difficult to keep ahead of her in their points scoring.  Word had spread quickly amongst the children, and everyone had taken sides as to whether male or female pride would be vanquished this day.  Little Joe and Becky found themselves neck and neck in the contests, and the pressure on them was growing by the minute as they took on the hopes of their friends.

As Little Joe sailed across the finish line to the cheers of the entire male juvenile population, he took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and smiled as many of the boys clustered around to clap him on the back. As Becky crossed the finish line behind him, one of the boys sung out. ‘Now it’s even again, so there!’

Becky laughed. ‘There’s still one contest to go all right, but horseshoe throwing just happens to be something I’m great at!’

‘You think you’re great at everything!’ Little Joe snickered.

‘Well I am so far, aren’t I?’ she replied.

Little Joe was silent as they approached the horseshoe throwing area.  Becky was right about that.  Never had he expected a girl to show him up in as many contests as she had.  He had expected to win most things easily and was most surprised to find that she was such a match for him. He was not about to admit it to anyone, but he was quite impressed with the fact that she was so good at things, in spite of the fact that she was a girl!

Ben smiled to see his youngest son approaching for the children’s competition at the horseshoe throwing. ‘Well hello there, young man!’ he said.  ‘And what have you been up to?’

Mitch answered for his friend. ‘Little Joe’s been winning lots of the games, Mr Cartwright.  He’s been beating certain other people who think they’re so great at everything.’

Ben frowned as he noticed all the youngsters clustering around. ‘Is that so?  Well now, which of you youngsters are going to try your hand with these horseshoes?’  He smiled at all of them, expecting them to begin to push forward for their turns.  To his surprise they all stood quietly waiting, then someone pushed Little Joe forward.

‘Go on Little Joe, show her!’

Ben handed his son three horseshoes, and waited for the others to come forward.  However the only child who moved in his direction was young Becky Payne, who held out her hand and smiled sweetly at him.  ‘Thank you, Mr Cartwright.’ she said.

Ben handed the horseshoes over, puzzled.  Something was going on here he thought, but couldn’t quite put his finger on just what it might be.  He stood to the side and watched as the two youngsters took turns at throwing, and noticed that each hit earned a loud cheer from the crowd.  Strangely though, the children had divided themselves into two groups, and it seemed that they were taking opposing sides – boys on one side and girls on the other.  Now just how had young Joseph got himself mixed up in this situation?  He shook his head as he decided that sometimes it was just best not to know.

Both children eyed each other off warily.  Each had one hit and one miss, and their last throw would count.  ‘Ladies first,’ said Little Joe with a sweep of his hand, but something told Ben he was not being as gallant as he sounded.

Becky walked to the line and scored a direct hit as the girls all clapped and cheered.  She smiled at Little Joe and shook her curls as she said ‘Miss this and I win!’

Little Joe swallowed as he turned to face the sea of faces that stared back at him.  Part of him wanted to run from the disgrace that might be upon him within moments, but the greater part of him knew that he would never live it down. With a sinking heart he walked to the line, took a deep breath as he aimed and threw, then closed his eyes.

The sound of cheering made him open them again quickly, and he saw his horseshoe wrapped around the pole.  ‘It’s a tie!’ Ben announced and smiled at his youngest boy.  ‘Well done to both of you.’

Everyone stood not knowing what to say, and Ben watched in amazement as the crowd of children slowly melted away and left the two contestants standing facing each other alone.  He was about to walk towards the two children when a voice behind him made him turn sharply.  ‘Well, is that the end of the contest now?’  asked Katherine as she came towards him. ‘You must be hungry again Ben, can I tempt you with something to eat?’

Ben muttered something about helping to pack away the equipment and moved off quickly, Katherine following him.

Little Joe stood silently and faced his rival.  After a moment he said. ‘You did pretty good, Becky.’

Becky opened her mouth to give a smart reply, and then shut it again. She smiled at him. ‘So did you Little Joe. Seems like no one wins then.’

‘Or we could say we both won.’ he replied.

She nodded and smiled at him. ‘I like that better.’

‘You know you run pretty good, for just a girl.’

‘And you throw pretty good, for just a boy.’

They grinned at each other.  After a moment Becky drew something out of her pocket. ‘Guess you may as well have this now.’  She held the large black spider out to him. ‘You can probably find a use for it more than I can.’

He took it from her. ‘You sure?’

‘Yeah.

‘Thanks.’

‘See you at school tomorrow,’ she said as she turned away.

Little Joe stood and looked at the spider in his hand.  It was moving its legs slightly as if still dazed from the confines of her pocket. As he stuffed it into his own pocket his mind was a jumble of questions. He didn’t quite know what had just happened, but he sensed that his attitude towards girls had changed somewhat this afternoon.  He turned around and headed off towards his friends, whistling as he went.

CHAPTER 6

Adam lay back and watched the blue sky through the tree branches above him.  Louisa snuggled into the crook of his arm and nestled her head against his shoulder.  He felt very content with the world, and as he listened to the sounds of the crowd in the distance a drowsy feeling overcame him.  Louisa’s voice beside him became a droning noise in his ear.

‘I’ve had such a good time this afternoon Adam.’

‘Mm,’ he smiled at her, trying to keep his eyes open.

‘So who do you think we should tell first, my parents or your father?’

‘I don’t care.’

‘I think we should tell my parents then.’

‘Mmm.  Tell them what?’

She giggled as she slid her hand between the buttons of his shirt. ‘Why about us, silly.’

Adam opened his eyes. ‘What about us?’

‘About us getting married, of course.’

Adam sat up and stared at her. ‘Who said anything about getting married?’

She sat up next to him and brushed the leaves from her skirt. ‘Why, you did, of course.’

He swallowed ‘When?’

‘Well darling any decent man who kisses a girl like you just kissed me would only ever have marriage on his mind.  It was implied, of course.’  She leant her head on his shoulder, but he pushed it off again and held down her arms.

‘I never meant to give you that impression.  I mean I didn’t think that you would ….. Louisa I like you, but …..’

‘But what?’ she asked in a much colder tone.

‘Well, I never for one moment thought that you would think …… I mean …..  For heavens sake!’

She stood up beside him. ‘Adam Cartwright!  Do you for one moment think that I’m the sort of girl who would allow herself to be put in a compromising position with no intention of marriage?  How dare you!

Adam stood beside her, his anger mounting. ‘How dare I?  You’re the one who’s been pushing this all afternoon.’

She reached up and slapped his face.  ‘Well I never!  How can you say such a thing, Mr Cartwright!  And I thought you were a gentleman!’  She turned and flounced away, her head held high.

Adam stood and rubbed his face as he stared after her. What had just happened?  One moment they were lying peacefully under a tree and the next ……  He shook his head and sighed. Women were sure hard to figure out!  How had his father married three of them and come out still sane?  He wandered slowly over to the crowds as he pondered the mysteries of the opposite sex.

As he neared the buggy, he noticed his father loading their picnic basket, as Hoss stood beside him talking to a girl, and marvelled at the way life sometimes took unusual twists.  Usually it was the other way around – Hoss by himself and Adam with the girl in tow.  He scratched his head as he mounted up into one of the seats and waited.

Ben turned to face his eldest boy. ‘Said goodbye to Louisa already, son?’

Adam nodded briefly, and something about his expression made his father bite back his next question.  Instead he turned towards Hoss. ‘Come on Hoss, time to go.’

Hoss nodded and smiled at Isabelle.  ‘Good bye, Hoss,’ she said smiling sweetly at him. ‘See you at school tomorrow.  Maybe we can talk some more.’  Hoss nodded again. ‘Goodbye, Mr Cartwright … Adam’ she smiled at them as she turned to go and find her wayward brother.

Ben put his arm around Hoss’ shoulder. ‘She’s a fine young girl, son.’

Hoss smiled at his father. ‘You know, Pa? Sometimes girls can be OK.’  A snort from the wagon behind them caused them both to turn.  Adam stared into the distance, scowling.

‘Did you say something?’ asked Ben.

‘No.’

Ben frowned. ‘Where’s that little brother of yours?  Trust him to be nowhere to be seen when it’s time to go.  Little Joe!’ he shouted as his eyes scanned the area. But instead of his youngest son, he saw a most unwelcome sight approaching. ‘Just how much is a man supposed to put up with in one day!’ he muttered, and then turned towards Hoss. ‘Go and find your brother quickly!’

Hoss turned to do as he was bid, and Adam slumped down in his seat and pulled his hat over his eyes.  Ben sighed as the figure advanced upon him.

‘Why Ben, you weren’t going without saying good bye, were you?’ asked Katherine.

He smiled thinly at her as Adam sat behind him, amused. ‘We have to be off quickly Katherine.  Chores to be done at home, you know.’  He heaved a sigh of relief as he saw Hoss and Little Joe approaching. ‘Come on boys, it’s time we were off.’

Hoss tipped his hat to Katherine as he turned to get into the buggy, and as Little Joe stood and waited for his brother to move, Katherine suddenly made a grab for him. ‘Well goodbye now, you darling boy.’ she gushed and held him in a tight embrace as she smiled up at Ben. ‘Ben, he’s just the sweetest little thing, isn’t he?’

Little Joe scowled at her from between the folds of her ample bosom, and wriggled to free himself.  His two brothers watched from the wagon, quite amused by their little brother’s discomfort.  As she continued to hold onto him and stroke his curls, he felt himself somewhat overcome by the strong smell of her perfume on his face, and struggled frantically.

Suddenly there was a piercing scream and Katherine jumped away from the youngster.  A large black spider crawled across the ample cleavage of her chest as she frantically tried to swat it away. Little Joe quickly removed his hand and stood back grinning.

‘Why you little ….. Ben, look what that boy has done!  Get it off me now!’  Ben reached out to remove the spider, and grabbed at Katherine’s ample chest as she moved frantically around.  ‘Benjamin Cartwright! How dare you!’ she slapped him smartly across the cheek.  ‘Well I never, is this the kind of behaviour to expect from you and these boys of yours?  If that’s the case, then you can just forget about me!’  She turned and flounced away.

Ben stood and stared after her, stunned.  Behind him the snickers of his two older boys made him turn smartly to face them. ‘That’s enough out of you two!’ he ordered, and they quickly looked away as they tried to regain their composure.

Little Joe was searching on the ground for his spider. ‘Got ya!’ he yelled as he retrieved it and stuck it firmly back into his pocket, ready for its next adventure.

Ben looked down at his small son, who stared back at him.  After a moment Little Joe took a step back and swallowed as he waited for his father to speak, and unconsciously put his hands behind his back to cover his backside.

Ben continued to stare at him. ‘Joseph,’ he said.

‘Ye …..Yes Pa?’  Little Joe answered, his eyes wide.

‘Get into the buggy.’

The three Cartwright boys stared at their father, their eyes wide. ‘That’s it?’ asked Adam.

Little Joe didn’t hesitate to obey his father and climbed quickly into the buggy.  As Ben took the reins in his hands and they set off towards the ranch, they all jerked forwards in their seats.

‘It’s been a long day boys, I think we all need an early night,’ Ben said.

As the sun sank beneath the hills in the west, four Cartwrights and a spider headed back towards the comfort and safety of the decidedly masculine ranch they called home.

The End