Summary: When a woman from Marie’s past helps Little Joe reconnect with his mother in a mysterious and dangerous way, Ben finds out and tries to stop her before it’s too late. Rating T, WC 31,959

Reaching Back for Yesterday

*** A fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday.  I won’t turn my head in sorrow if you should go away.  I’ll stand here and remember just how good it’s been.  And I know I’ll never love this way again. *** (Excerpt from song “I’ll Never Love This Way Again” Written by Richard Kerr and Will Jennings)

The clicking of the telegrapher’s sounder was heard from across the room as Pete Wilson turned from the front desk.  He grabbed his pencil and began to jot down the message after signaling that he was ready to receive the transmission.  Pete finished jotting down everything and then stared across the room where his clerk, Billy Hartman, was getting ready to leave for the day.

“Billy – got a message for you to deliver, come here a minute.”

The young man standing over by the door finished shrugging into his coat and then hurried over to his boss.  “Yes, Sir?”

“I think I spotted Ben and Little Joe Cartwright heading down the street just a minute ago when I was coming out of the International House.  Run and see if you can find them and give Ben this,” he instructed and handed the telegram to the young man.

“Okay, anything else you need from me before I leave for the day, Mister Wilson?”

Pete stood and smiled over at Billy, “No, that’s all I’ve got for you to do.  I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning.”

Billy nodded and walked to the door, grabbing his hat and setting it on his head before calling over his shoulder, “See you tomorrow!”

*************

Ben and Little Joe Cartwright dismounted and tied their mounts up to the hitching post in front of the mercantile in Virginia City.  A strong gust of wind sent leaves from the end of town skittering down the wooden walkway as they stepped up from the street.  Pulling the collar of his coat higher on his neck to stay the early fall chill in the air Ben shared a smile with his son.

“It’s a bit cold for this early in the season, isn’t it, Son?”

Little Joe grinned up at his father and exclaimed, “I love this time of the year, Pa, cold or not!”

“I know that you do – probably because you’re counting down the days until your birthday at the end of the month,” He nodded.

“I’ve told you what I want haven’t I?”

Ben groaned as he dropped a hand down onto the boy’s shoulder and replied, “I’d have to be deaf not to know what you want – you’ve only told me what’s on your list about every day for the last two months, Joseph.  Now let’s go inside and get those couple of things that Hop Sing asked me to pick up for him then we need to get on home.”  He opened the door to the store and held it back, allowing his son to enter first.

While Little Joe meandered around the store Ben chit-chatted with the owner and waited for his order to be filled.  Every now and then he’d catch his youngest pointing over at something and casting a hopeful glance his way, which just made Pa grin knowingly and shake his head “no”.  He had already purchased everything in advance for the boy’s seventeenth birthday, but Joseph wasn’t aware of that fact.  It hadn’t required much thought as his son had harped on what he wanted for months.  It did amuse Ben when Joe eagerly pointed at almost everything that his father had already bought the boy better than three months ago.  *** It didn’t hurt that Joseph wrote all his preferences down not long after his last birthday!  *** Ben mused as he turned his attention back to the store owner who was gathering everything on the list that Hop Sing had sent along with his boss that afternoon.

The rapid metallic trill from the bell on top of the door announced the fast entrance of a man hurrying inside the store after seeing both Cartwrights heading that way a few minutes earlier.

“Mister Cartwright!” The young man called over to Ben who was still waiting at the counter.

Turning in the direction of the voice, Ben nodded to the approaching messenger.  “Billy?  You look like you just ran a mile,” he grinned over at the young man who he had helped acquire the position of clerk at the telegrapher’s office just a few months prior.

“Mister Wilson was walking out of the International House, and he saw you and Little Joe heading this way.  He just received this telegram a little while ago and asked me to bring it to you before you left town,” he explained and handed the piece of paper to Ben.

Giving the message a quick once over, Ben offered the courier a silver dollar.  “Thank you, I appreciate you getting this right over to me.  Tell Pete that I said thanks too.”

“I appreciate this, Mister Cartwright!” Billy exclaimed grateful for the tip that was added to the usual twenty-five cents charge for the telegram.  He then hurried to the door just as Little Joe approached his father.

“Pa?  Who’s the wire from?  Anything important?” Joe’s curiosity got the better of him as he watched his father tuck the note inside his coat pocket.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Son.  Are you done with your window shopping?  Frank has Hop Sing’s order filled.”

Joe was surprised that Pa had dismissed his questions so readily and wondered why he had kept the source of the telegram a secret from him.  He wasn’t about to drop the issue until he was satisfied that he had a better answer than what Pa had offered.  “Hey – who’s it from?”

Ben groaned wearily as he placed a hand onto the boy’s shoulder.  “Joseph, it’s just business – nothing exciting and it wouldn’t interest you.  Now,” He paused and grabbed the bag that Frank Keller had placed there on the counter.  “We’d best be going.”

“I bet you’d tell Adam,” Little Joe complained about the way Pa had brushed off his questions.

“Thank you, Frank, just put it on the monthly bill,” Ben called to the store owner who nodded over to him.  The man was busy with another customer or, being another inquisitive person, he would have asked him about the telegram Ben presumed.  “Let’s go, Joseph.”

Little Joe frowned and shook his head.  Evidently, he couldn’t guilt his father enough to get him to relent and fill him in on the details of the telegram, so he gave up and held the door open for Pa as the two of them walked back outside.

Ben secured the items that Hop Sing had requested inside his saddle bags and grabbed Buck’s reins.  Casting a quick glance over at his son he could tell that the boy appeared to be miffed that he hadn’t shared the details of the telegram with him.  His youngest was very easily readable standing there with the reins in his hand and a miserable countenance showing his displeasure over the limited information he had received from his father.  He fought back a smile not wanting Joe to think he was enjoying his misery.  Ben knew that at almost seventeen everything seemed to be much more important than it really was and the boy was dying to find out who had sent the wire and why.

“Just information about a timber contract, Joseph.  Nothing earth-shattering,” He chuckled and nodded over to his son.  The boy rewarded him with a satisfied smile.

“Thanks, Pa – I just don’t like to be left out of things, you know?  I realize that Adam is usually the one who helps you with business deals but I’m getting older and don’t want to be treated like I’m still a kid,” Little Joe explained as he vaulted up into his saddle.

Ben had to hide his amusement over what his son had just said.  *** Joseph thinks he’s grown now that he’s almost seventeen – Lord knows he’s told me that about every day since he turned sixteen!  I’ll have to work on remembering that he’s growing up and doesn’t want to be treated like a little kid. *** He thought and then nodded over to Little Joe that he understood.

“Well, Old Man, let’s get home!” Ben called over to his son and winked.

***********

Hoss met his father and little brother at the front door and welcomed them both back home.

“What did you buy me?” Hoss asked hopefully and grinned over at his father.

“You’re just like your little brother here, Hoss – both of you boys think all I’ve got to do with myself is buy you presents,” Ben sighed as he removed his coat and hat.  Reaching inside the bag from the store he pulled out a small treat he had added to the cook’s list of things that he needed.  “Here,” He grinned and handed his middle boy a small bag of red-hot candies that his son had a penchant for.  “Now don’t let those spoil your appetite – we’ll be eating soon, Hoss.”

Clapping a hand to his father’s back he chuckled, “Oh, Pa – when have I ever had an appetite problem?”

“That’d be never,” Little Joe quipped and his brother threw a mock jab at his ribs in response to his statement.

Ben walked over to the red leather chair next to the fireplace and eased down into it feeling his body conform to the cushion.  He reached his hands towards the warmth coming off the newly stoked fire.  “Ah – now this is better than that saddle,” he said letting out a comfortable sigh as he settled back in the chair.

“Here, Pa,” Adam called as he stood from his father’s desk and lifted one of the ledger books bringing it over to him.  “I found all your errors.  Not too many last month.”

“Thank you, Son,” Ben nodded as he accepted the book from his eldest.

“Hop Sing said supper was going to be thrown out if you didn’t get here soon.  Glad you made it,” Adam grinned as he sat down on the settee.

“He says that every night,” Little Joe remarked dismissing the cook’s threat as he sat on the coffee table and looked over at Adam.  “Pa got an important telegram about a timber contract, Adam,” He announced, wanting to sound like he knew all about what was going on with ranch business.

“Timber contract?  I know we’d talked about selling more – but I didn’t know you’d signed anything yet, Pa,” Adam looked over at his father, confused by the information Little Joe had proffered.

Ben cleared his throat, hoping to get the attention of his eldest son to let him know that they needed to change the subject.  He hadn’t been honest with Little Joe at the mercantile about the origin and purpose of the telegram.

Adam read his father’s facial expression and could tell that the man needed him to talk about something else.

“Speaking of business, Pa, I heard through the grapevine that Mister Williamson is looking for some good bottom land.  I was thinking about that piece of land over by Buckhorn Meadow that we got for a song a few years back.  What do you think about selling a few acres to him?”

*** Good save, Son. *** Ben mused as he winked over at Adam just as soon as Joe had turned his attention over to Hoss.

“Supper ready, family come now – Hop Sing wait long time!” The cook announced standing in the dining room.

“We’re coming!” Ben sighed as he pulled himself to standing and patted Little Joe’s shoulder as they all headed over to the table.  “Better do justice to your supper, Joseph, Hop Sing doesn’t sound very happy right now,” Ben whispered.  He was answered by the boy’s laughter as he took his seat in the dining room.

***********

Both Ben and Adam watched the heated game of checkers going on between Little Joe and Hoss.  It had been over an hour since they had all finished eating their supper and Adam noticed the way his father kept glancing over at the grandfather clock as though he was growing impatient.  He presumed that Pa wanted to talk with him about something in private, something that he wasn’t ready to share with his two brothers just yet.

“Hey, don’t you two have to get up early and go pay the hands up at the mill?” Adam called over to his brothers.

Hoss watched as his little brother jumped his last checker and frowned.  “Dad gum it, Little Joe!  I swear you’ve got to be cheating again!”

“Cheating? Me?” Joe answered, his voice being both high-pitched and indignant.  “I can’t help it if I’m better at this game than you are!”

Ben’s eyebrows narrowed as he leaned forward in his chair.  He was aware that his youngest son had a habit of moving checkers around when his brother’s back was turned thereby assuring himself a win.  “Hoss, like I’ve always told you about playing poker— you’ve got to watch what’s going on around you.  You never know if someone is going to try and sneak an extra ace into the deck.”

“Huh?” Joe called over to his father.

“Joseph – I’m not suggesting that you’ve been cheating at checkers – however, when Hoss walked away from the game to get that apple out of the bowl on the dining table perhaps you used the opportunity to move a few of those black pieces around?” Pa questioned, his eyebrows now raised showing his displeasure.

“Little Brother, I better not catch you doing that again!” Hoss fumed as he looked piercingly at the boy.

“I don’t know what either of you are talking about,” Joe protested, attempting to appear innocent as he gathered the checkers and placed them back into the basket on the hearth.

Adam laughed and patted Hoss’ shoulder.  “If you’re going to play with the kid you’ve got to sit there and not get up, Hoss.  You’re making it easy for him to pull a fast one on you.”

“Gee, there’s no trust around here,” Little Joe continued to object to what Pa and Adam had alluded, even though he knew he was as guilty as sin.

“In your case no, Kid – because we don’t trust you — at least with checkers!” Adam returned.

“Okay, Boys, that’s enough for one night.  And yes – Hoss you and Little Joe need to get up early to pay those men so how about calling it a night?” Ben’s question had come out more like a statement as he stood from his chair.  He needed to get them both out from under foot so he could discuss something with his eldest.

“I’m going, Pa.  Well – that is — we’re going!” Hoss replied and grabbed his little brother and lifted him up over his head as though he wasn’t much heavier than one of the throw pillows on the sofa.  “Tell everyone good night, Little Joe – or I toss you into the fireplace!”

“Put me down, you nit wit!” Joe fumed.

“You want me to drop you into that fireplace or not?” Hoss continued, winking over at his father.

Little Joe watched from overhead as Hoss edged over to the hearth.  “Okay, okay!  Good night, Pa – good night, Adam,” Joe gave in to his brother’s not so subtle request.

Adam laughed, “Good night, Kid – good night, Hoss.”

“Get some sleep, Boys,” Ben grinned as he watched Hoss carrying his little brother over to the staircase.

“You can put me down now, Hoss,” Joe whined and thrashed his legs about, not wanting to be carried up to his bedroom.

“Naw – Pa said not to take my eyes off of you, you little shyster.  No more cheating over checkers or the next time I’m gonna toss you into that fireplace for sure!”

“I wasn’t cheating,” Joe complained until Hoss lifted him over the banister as though he was going to drop him down to the living room.

“What were you saying, Little Joe?” Hoss returned, grinning as he held his brother tightly in his arms.

“Okay—maybe I accidentally moved a checker,” he conceded.

“You’re not going to do that to me again right, Little Brother?” Hoss continued to hold Joe over the railing.

“Never – never again!” Joe agreed grabbing his brother’s neck and holding on for dear life.

“Good night,” Hoss announced smiling down at Pa and Adam as he carried his little brother up the staircase.

***********

Ben and Adam laughed as they watched them heading up to their rooms.  When he heard both bedroom doors closing, Ben knew that it was time to inform his eldest about what had happened in town that day.

“This is about the telegram you got, right, Pa?”

Ben sighed as he pondered over the message he had received that day.   He made his way to the brandy decanter sitting next to his desk.  “Yes, Son.  Want some?” He asked indicating the brandy.

Adam nodded, “I could use one.”

Pouring the liquor into two small glasses, Ben returned to the fireplace and handed the drink to his son.  He shook his head, swept away with concern over the predicament he now found himself to be in concerning the telegram.

“I told you about the letter I received about two months ago.  It was from a Charles Bertrand from New Orleans.”

“Yeah, I remember.  He’s the grandson of someone who claimed to be Marie’s nurse, Azelie Bertrand, who supposedly helped raise her and her sister Corrine,” Adam nodded and sipped his drink.

“He called it a letter of introduction, and he said that he was heading to San Francisco on business and hoped he could bring his grandmother here to meet your little brother.  I only wrote him back after I did some checking into the story.  I remembered Marie talking about her nurse and the name checked out — but well – I wanted to be sure, so I contacted Judge Wharton in New Orleans and he confirmed it all.  But I’d not received a reply as to their visit here —that is – until today.  The telegram said that they have just made it to Arizona and should arrive in Virginia City next week on the tenth.  He said they’ll be staying at the International House – and that he’d already made reservations to be in town for a couple of weeks.”

Adam pensively stared over at his father and could read the apprehension in the man’s eyes.  “Pa – why after all these years would she want to come here?  And even if she did help raise Marie – well – what’s that got to do with seeing Little Joe?”

Ben shrugged his shoulders helplessly and sighed, “According to him his grandmother asked that he bring her here as her final request.  The woman is ninety years old, and he doesn’t think she’ll be around much longer.”

“One heck of a trip for a woman that age,” Adam remarked.

“Yes, it sure is, so I just don’t feel right about turning her down.  But I don’t want her visit to open old wounds for your brother.  Joseph has always had issues dealing with the loss of his mother though he was so young when Marie died.  I worry how the visit will affect him.”

“So, you’re going to allow Little Joe to meet her?”

Drinking down the remainder of his brandy with one quick swallow Ben nodded his head and replied, “Not until I meet her first.  I want to speak with her and find out what she plans to discuss with the boy.  If it’s a harmless thing – well – then I’ll tell your brother about all of this and take him to meet her.  But until then I’d prefer that Joseph not know about any of this.”

“He won’t hear it from me, Pa.”

“If things don’t go well, I might need you to run interference for me with your little brother once the two of them arrive in town, Adam.”

Reaching over to his father, Adam patted his arm and offered him a reassuring smile.  “I’ve done that before – and I’ll do it again.  Just let me know when they get in and I can always take the kid off somewhere, so he doesn’t find out.  Once you meet them, I’ll help you in any way I can, Pa.”

Standing from his chair, Ben moved next to his son and dropped a hand down onto his shoulder.  “Thank you, Adam.  Well, I think I’ll turn in, how about you?”

“I think I’ll read a little while.  You go on ahead, Pa.”

“Goodnight, Son,” Ben smiled down at his eldest, grateful for Adam’s offer to assist him with the situation and then he turned for the stairs.

**********

Ben had tossed and turned in his bed but couldn’t fall asleep no matter how hard he tried.  The more he thought about the upcoming visit by Marie’s former nurse the more he worried about what the effect would be on his youngest.  Finally, surrendering to the plain fact that he was far too keyed up that night, he pulled on his robe and slid into his slippers.  There was some place he needed to go in order to settle his soul and he knew it.

Quietly walking across the hall, Ben eased the bedroom door open.  He stepped inside holding the lamp, which was trimmed down low, in front of him.  Drawing closer to the bed the anxious father stared down at the sleeping boy and grinned at the sight before him.  Little Joe was spread out on his comforter fully dressed including his boots.  He set the lamp onto Joe’s nightstand and shook his head.

*** Joseph, how many times have I seen you like this?  I can understand your falling to sleep with your clothes on – but your boots too?  I expect that would be a mite uncomfortable! *** He mused as he reached down to his son’s boots and gently tugged each one off.  The boy was played out and never felt his father’s movements nor the callused hands which slid him underneath his sheet and blanket, settling them both under his chin.

Ben’s thoughts went back to Joe’s mother and the fact that the boy lying on the bed there in front of him could no longer remember anything about her.  And now there was some stranger who wanted to get to know him and perhaps offer some insight into how Marie had been as a child.  Ben wondered if that might help Joe to recall something, anything, that may spark some kind of feelings towards his mother.  He wanted his son to recall how much Marie had loved him though the boy hadn’t mentioned her in a very long while.  Now Joseph was becoming a young man and Ben hoped that somehow before he was fully grown that he would be able to recapture the love that his mother had for him.  Ben had done what he could, being both parents to his son, as he had been for his other two boys, but this was his last child and there was always something just a little bit different about his third son.  Joseph held within him a particular vulnerability that didn’t exist with either Adam or Hoss.  The boy carried an inner hurt that never truly went away.  It was evident only to his father, the one person in the world who could read what was always missing when looking into his hazel eyes.  Ben assumed that it was caused by some latent memory buried somewhere deep inside Joe’s subconscious mind.  A memory that haunted him and it was most likely concerning the mother he had lost right before turning five years old.  Ben presumed that it was tougher on Little Joe than it had been for his two older boys as their mothers had died not long after their births.  Neither Adam nor Hoss had known either Elizabeth or Inger.  Perhaps Joe’s hurt had remained because he had those precious first few years with Marie and had bonded with her before her tragic death and thereby losing her had caused him a long- lasting pain?  He shook his head as he fought the sad reminder of the women who he had loved and lost.

*** I guess I’ll never stop worrying about you, Joseph – no matter how much older you get. *** Ben sighed as he swept the errant curls off the boy’s forehead as he had done so many times.  *** I know you think that you’re about grown – but you’ve still got so much to learn, Son.  Don’t be too quick to become a man – you’ll have a lot of years to be that. *** Ben mused at the thought of his youngest child turning seventeen in three short weeks.  *** Joe, growing up and becoming a man isn’t really a matter of how old you are – it’s about how much you’ve learned along the way.  I hope I can get that through your head.  I know I’m a bit overly protective of you — guess I’ll never change.  I just want to keep you from harm – well — as much as I can without stopping you from learning some of this on your own.  Now I have to contend with someone who knew your mother and try to make sure that she won’t end up harming you – by dredging up the past.  I know I can’t protect you from everything – but I can do my best to find out exactly what her motives are for coming here.  I hope that Azelie Bertrand turns out to be a help to you and not another painful reminder of the mother you can no longer recall. Marie loved you so much, I just wish I could make you remember those four years you had with her!  Maybe that would help heal whatever pain you’ve always carried deep inside your heart? ***

As if in response to what his father was thinking, a smile turned up the corners of Little Joe’s mouth, and he turned ever so slightly on the bed.  Ben shook his head, amused by the sight before him.  Though he was no longer a child, his son had such an angelic appearance, and it was never more noticeable than when he was asleep.  “Sleep, Joseph.  I love you,” Ben whispered and placed a soft kiss on his son’s brow before retrieving his lamp from the nightstand and heading back for his room.

**********

Ben stood inside the foyer of the International House Hotel and stared over at the manager standing there at the front desk.  He slowly approached the man and waited for him to look up from the paperwork he was engrossed in at the time.

“Oh – Ben – sorry I didn’t hear you come in,” Bill Gentry said and smiled up at him.  “Do you want a room?”

“No, Bill, just wanted to know if some folks I’ve been expecting to arrive today have checked in yet.”

“What’s the name?”

“Charles Bertrand and his grandmother Azelie.  I got word a week ago they were due to get into town today and that they’d be staying here.”

Bill pushed back the spectacles on his nose and checked the registry book, “I didn’t get here until a few minutes ago, Ben.  Let me see.”  He perused the page in front of him and nodded.  “Yes, they’ve checked in and are in a suite.  Number five at the top of the stairs and to the left.”

Ben nodded and before turning to the staircase called his thanks to the man.  He made it to the second floor and paused just outside of the room before knocking.  Ben wondered if, once meeting the two people inside the hotel room, their visit would end up opening a can of worms for both him and Joseph.  Drawing in a deep breath he finally rapped on the door.

A tall well-dressed man who appeared to be in his fifties pulled the door open and smiled down at the white-haired man who stood waiting to be let inside.

“Mister Cartwright I presume?” the man asked jovially.

Ben nodded and fought to pull a smile up on his lips as he replied cordially, “Yes, I’m Ben Cartwright.”

“Charles Bertrand – won’t you come in?” He introduced himself and then beckoned his guest into the hotel room and led him to the parlor.

“You made it here in good time,” Ben tried to find something to say to the other man to break the ice.

“Please, Mister Cartwright – have a seat,” He pointed to the sofa and Ben sat down.  “It’s so kind of you to come right away.”

“I had business in town today, it wasn’t any trouble,” Ben offered though he wondered if the man could read the lie in his statement.  It couldn’t have been further from the truth.  He had a lot to do at the ranch but was worried that someone might get nosey and the fact that two people had arrived from New Orleans looking for him would get back to Little Joe.  It wasn’t hard to detect the French inflection in Charles Bertrand’s accent as was typical for the Creole people who hailed from New Orleans. “Did you have a good trip?”

“Yes, thank you,” Charles nodded and smiled as he took a seat opposite the other man.  “It was a long journey, however.  My grandmother is lying down right now but should be up presently.  I suppose you have a lot of questions for me?”

“I did write you a letter detailing my concerns – but I guess you had already left New Orleans and didn’t receive it.”

“I’m sorry but I’m sure you understand the urgency of my trip.  My grandmother hasn’t been well – and with her age – I just wanted to fulfil her wish,” He explained.

Ben nervously coughed into his hand wanting to get right to the heart of the matter.  “And that wish is to see my son Joseph?”

“Yes, I want to see Marie’s boy,” Came the soft voice from across the room.  The elderly woman wore an ornately embroidered dressing gown over her nightclothes, and her white hair was long and braided, falling on either side of her shoulders.  Holding a cane down at her right side she made her way over to join the two men.

Both Ben and Charles stood as she made it over to the sofa and sat down.

“I am Ben Cartwright, Ma’am,” He smiled as he introduced himself to the woman.  He took note that she looked much younger than he had presumed and nowhere near ninety.

As if she had read Ben’s thoughts, she nodded to him and replied, “I don’t look ninety to you.  I am fortunate – I have my mother’s skin.  She retained her youthful appearance until she died at the age of one hundred and one.”

Ben nervously shot a glance over at Charles and watched him grin his way.

“My Mamie speaks her mind, Mister Cartwright.”

“Mamie?” Ben questioned.

“Sorry – that’s an endearing French nickname for grandmother.  Mister Ben Cartwright let me introduce Azelie Bertrand.  Mamie, this is Joseph’s father.”

“You may call me Azelie,” She insisted with a pronounced French accent very evident in her statement.  “Please take a seat.”

“I hope you will forgive our language it is a bit hard to understand at times,” Charles apologized as Ben retook his seat on the sofa.

“Not at all – I am very familiar with the Creole language,” Ben nodded graciously.

“Marie – she was your wife – so you would know it well,” Azelie announced.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Ben returned with a nod.  “You’ve had quite a long trip – I hope you don’t mind my stopping by so soon after you’ve arrived?”

Azelie cast a knowing glance at Charles and then back to Ben.  “You have misgivings over whether you will permit me to see your son, is that the case, Mister Cartwright?”

“Well, first of all, the two of you can call me Ben, we’re not very formal around these parts.  And, yes, to tell you the truth of the matter – I am concerned about how my son might take your visit.  You see he’s only sixteen – soon to be seventeen – and he’s very impressionable.  He doesn’t remember anything about his mother — Marie died right before he turned five.”

“Ben,” She began and gently reached for the man’s arm to put him at ease.  “I wish no harm come to your son I can assure you.  Unfortunately, I lost contact with both Marie and her sister Corrine, so I began asking a few years ago where they had gone.  Though I couldn’t find any information about Corrine, I was happy to hear about your marriage to Marie and that she had moved to Nevada many years ago.  I want to see her only living child.  I heard that she had a baby from her first marriage, but that it died of the fever not long after she gave birth.  After I learned that she had another child I needed to see him before I die.  I have come a long way just to meet Joseph and perhaps share some things about his mother with him.”

“When did you see Marie last?” Ben asked curiously.

“It was just before her marriage to John.  I warned her that the marriage would end in tragedy – I am so very sorry that I was right.”

“Yes, she had a bad time of it – but I can assure you that she had a good life here with me,” Ben offered, hoping to reassure the woman.

“I can see that speaking of Marie causes you pain – for that I am very sorry,” Azelie apologized.

“Marie’s been gone twelve years now—I hold the time I had with her dearly.  But my main concern right now is for my son.”

“Would you allow the boy to visit my Mamie, Ben?  It would mean the world to her,” Charles asked hopefully.

“I see my grandson doesn’t want our trip to be for nought,” Azelie smiled and nodded over to him.

Ben felt like he was now put on the spot and that he didn’t have any other recourse than to let Little Joe visit the woman.

“I can bring the boy here tomorrow.  What time would you like his visit?” Ben offered, standing from the sofa ready to be on his way.

“Would early afternoon suit you, Ben?” Charles returned as he also stood.

“That would be fine—I’ll try to get here around two o’clock,” Ben nodded.

“I thank you for your kindness,” Azelie said as she watched the man walking to the door.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow,” Ben cast a reassuring smile towards the elderly woman as Charles pulled the door open for him.

“Thank you, Ben,” Charles stated and then watched the other man step out into the hallway.

**********

Pulling Buck behind him, Ben wearily walked to the barn.  He was tired from the long trip back from town and chilled due to the falling autumn temperatures.

“Hi, Pa!” Joe sang out cheerily as his father walked inside the barn.  “Hey, I’ll put Buck up for you.  I just finished putting up both Chub and Cochise – it’s no problem.”

Ben patted the boy’s shoulder and smiled.  “I’m surprised to hear you put up your brother’s horse.  Now, why are you suddenly so considerate?”

Little Joe laughed as he grabbed his father’s reins and walked Buck into his stall.  “Oh, Hoss was complaining because he put our horses away the last two times.”

Amused by what his son had shared, Ben returned, “Did your brother threaten to toss you into the fireplace again?”

“Yep,” Joe nodded as he removed the horse’s saddle and bridle and set the grain inside the feed bin.  “Where you been, Pa?”

“Oh,” Ben tried to come up with something benign to tell the boy not wanting to get right into the subject of the two visitors in town just yet.  “I just had some errands in town, Joseph – nothing too important.”

Little Joe patted Buck’s haunches and walked out of the stall joining his father at the barn door.

“Hop Sing hasn’t started yelling so I guess you’re not in trouble yet,” Joe quipped.

“Well, let’s get on in there before he starts, shall we?” Ben grinned and draped an arm across his son’s shoulder as they stepped out into the yard.

**********

Realizing that he couldn’t wait much longer to tell his youngest about the two visitors, as dinner had been over for better than an hour, Ben asked Little Joe to come into his study and take a seat next to the desk.  He leaned back and stared over at the boy choosing his words as carefully as possible.

“Joseph, there are a couple of visitors in town and one in particular has requested that you come and see her,” He began and witnessed the confusion spreading across Joe’s face.

“Visitors?  Visitors from where, Pa – and why do they want to see me?”

“I received a letter a while back and it seems that your mother’s nurse, a woman named Azelie Bertrand wants to see you.  She’s an elderly woman and her son Charles has brought her all the way from New Orleans just for that purpose,” He explained.

“Nurse?  Was my mother sick?”

“No,” Ben shook his head and grinned knowingly over at his son.  “That’s like a nursemaid – you know someone who helps raise a child?  Apparently, she raised both your mother and her sister Corrine.”

Nervously shifting his body in the chair, Joe cast a peculiar look at his father.  “I don’t get it – why would she want to see me?”

Reading the worry in his son’s eyes, Ben approached him and dropped a comforting hand down on his shoulder.  “I guess she wants to talk to you about your Ma, Son.  It is her last request –so I told her we’d come by tomorrow afternoon.  Is that okay with you?”

Joe cast a suspicious glance up at his father and replied, “What was all the secrecy about, Pa?  I mean if you knew all about this before they got here— why did you wait until now to tell me about it?”

“I suppose I was just being cautious, Joseph, I wanted to make sure they had your best interest at heart.  I don’t see anything malicious in their visit, and they both seemed very nice when I met them today.”

Little Joe stood abruptly and was about to make a fast escape to his bedroom when his father’s hand caught a hold of his elbow to prevent his departure.

“Joseph?   What is it?” Ben questioned quietly.  He hadn’t been sure if the boy would balk at the idea, but apparently, he sure wasn’t pleased.

“My mother’s dead – why would they want to meet me?” Joe fired back, unsure as to why the situation had set him off but it had.  He didn’t want to meet anyone from her past and simply talking about his mother only dredged up hurtful reminders of his loss.

“Son, I guess she just wants to meet your mother’s only living child.  Afterall the woman is ninety and she most likely won’t be around much longer.”  Ben attempted to set the boy at ease.  He knew that Joseph never really spoke about his mother anymore and, though he sometimes went to her gravesite to place flowers, she held no connection to his life as far as he was concerned.

“I still don’t know why I should matter that much to her,” he protested frowning.

“Will you humor her and go with me tomorrow?” Ben continued, hoping that he could persuade the boy.

Joe stared down at the floor and thought for a few minutes before replying to his father’s request.  “Okay, Pa – if you think I should go then I will,” He said, surrendering to the notion that it would make Pa happy if he went along with what he was suggesting in a not-so-subtle way.

Ben patted his son’s shoulder and smiled, “Thank you, Son.  Now you go on off to bed and get some sleep.  We’ll leave around noon tomorrow.”.

“Goodnight, Pa,” Joe responded quietly as he turned for the stairs again.

Ben’s worried gaze followed his son’s departing form as it advanced up the staircase.  He hoped that he was doing the right thing as far as the boy was concerned.  Joseph had, over the years, refused to talk to him about Marie and Ben didn’t force the issue.  He now thought that perhaps the woman’s visit might turn out to be a positive thing for his son if Azelie could help Joe to get to know the mother who had died when he was so young.

***********

The trip to Virginia City the next day was a quiet one.  Ben couldn’t help wondering what his son was thinking as they grew closer to town.  He had attempted to talk to Little Joe, but the boy had only offered a word or two here and there leaving Ben wondering if he was doing the right thing in persuading his son to meet the two strangers.  When they finally pulled the buckboard up in front of the International House Hotel, Joe didn’t make any attempt to move down from the bench seat.

“Joseph?” Ben called as he tied the reins down at the footboard and stared over at him.

Joe shook himself from his thoughts and stared over at his pa, surprised that they were now in town.  He had been so engrossed in his thoughts about meeting the woman, that he hadn’t paid any attention as they had left the high meadow and drove up the steep grade that led to Virginia City.

“Are you ready, Son?”

Nodding and then trying to hide the pure dread on his face, Little Joe stepped down from the wagon and joined his father.  The two Cartwrights made their way to the front steps of the hotel with Joe walking a bit slower than usual showing his apprehension over meeting the strangers.

“It’s going to be fine,” Ben whispered as he opened the door to the hotel and held it back for the boy.  He watched as his son cautiously looked up towards the staircase.  “It’s up at the top there on the left.  Let’s go,” Pa announced and placed a calming hand on his son’s shoulder as they continued up to the hotel room.

***********

“Hello, Ben,” Charles smiled as he opened the door to the suite.  “Come in please.”

“Charles Bertrand this is my son Joseph,” Ben made the introduction.

“Wonderful to meet you, young man,” Charles said reaching for the boy’s hand.

“Yes, Sir,” Joe nodded and wiped his sweaty right palm on his pant leg before shaking the man’s outstretched hand.

Ben had watched his son’s move and fought back a grin.  He could tell how ill at ease the boy was and hoped that he would warm up to the situation soon.

The door to the bedroom just on the other side of the parlor opened and Azelie slowly walked over to where the others were standing.

“Hello, Ben,” She called as she grew closer.  “And this is Joseph of course.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Joe nodded deciding a handshake wasn’t proper, so he just smiled her way.

“You may call me Azelie, Joseph.  My you have a lot of your mother in you,” she said sweeping a hand across the boy’s hair.  “She had curls just like yours, Young Man.”

Ben grinned over the way his son still looked so petrified.

“Ben, I was wondering if you and I might tour the town while Mamie gets to know your son a little?” Charles suggested hopefully.

Little Joe shot his father a panicked glance and his eyes grew a bit wider.

“Joseph?  Will you be okay?”

Trying not to appear worried over the prospect of being left alone with someone he had never met before, Little Joe nodded.  “Yeah, Pa – I’ll be fine.”

Azelie placed her hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.  “Joseph, you can relax – I do not bite.  Now come over to the sofa so I can learn all there is to know about you.”

“We should be back in about an hour, Son,” Ben called to the boy and offered him a confident nod.

“Yes, Sir,” Joe replied and walked with the woman across the room.

**********

Ben and Charles departed the hotel suite as Joe and Azelie made their way to the sofa and sat down opposite each other.

“Your father says you are almost seventeen, is that right?” she asked trying to put the boy at ease.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Joe returned nervously fidgeting on the sofa.

The woman put her hand underneath Joe’s chin and studied his face.  “Joseph, you have your mother’s cheekbones and her penetrating eyes – they tell so much just like hers did.”

Joe stared at the woman curiously and responded, “What do you mean?”

“Have you ever heard that the eyes are the mirror of the soul?”

Thinking on what the woman had offered Joe shook his head.  “No, Ma’am, I don’t think so.  What does that mean?”

“It means that your eyes tell a lot about you.  I can see that you are worried.  Now tell Azelie why,” She coaxed.

Shrugging his shoulders, Joe nervously wondered what he could say in response but couldn’t think of anything.

Azelie smiled and reached for the boy’s head and gently ran her hand down the back of his hair.   “Joseph, you need to relax I loved your mother and all I wanted was to see her son.  Your father said you don’t remember her, is that right?”

“No Ma’am,” Joe’s voice fell to a whisper and he dropped his head down a bit wondering how much time had passed and when his father would be coming back for him.

Azelie reached over to the coffee table and retrieved a box and held it out to the boy.  “I know one thing – Marie had a sweet tooth, do you as well, Joseph?”

Little Joe watched as the woman opened the box and noticed that there was some kind of candy inside.  “My brother Hoss has a sweet tooth—but I’m not especially fond of candy.”

“Ah but this isn’t any store-bought candy, Joseph – I make this myself with the best chocolate in New Orleans.  Now try a piece.”

Little Joe didn’t want to seem rude, but he wasn’t particularly hungry due to his stomach feeling like it was tied in knots at the time.  He pulled out the smallest piece he could find and nodded to the woman.  “Thank you, Ma’am.”

“Joseph, why don’t you call me what your mother used to?  She and her sister both called me Azie- – it’s short for Azelie but is quicker to say than Ma’am.”

Chomping down on the candy Joe nodded to the woman.  “Yes – Ma’am – I mean Azie.”

The woman smiled as she watched the boy finish his piece of chocolate and then asked, “How do you like that candy?”

Little Joe grinned as he suddenly realized that he didn’t feel quite as nervous as he had earlier.  “It’s very good, Azie.  So, you make it yourself?”

“That’s right – and I brought that all the way here just for you.”

Leaning back against the sofa Joe felt at ease and no longer worried about why the woman had wanted to meet him.  “It was really good, thanks.”

Azelie reached for the boy’s left hand, taking it into hers.  “You are left-handed, did you know that your great grandfather was also?”

“You knew him?” Joe returned, very surprised as he hadn’t heard much about the man who had raised his mother.

“Yes, he was the one who hired me to care for your mother and her sister.  His name was Lazare Del Vie.”

“What was he like?”

Azelie sighed as she stared into the hazel eyes of the boy.  “He was what I would call a hard man.”

“Huh?  I mean—what?  What do you mean hard?”

“I suppose a better term that you’d understand would be strict, Joseph—he was very strict with both girls.  He was a businessman who worked very hard – and he didn’t have much time for either Marie or Corrine—so I filled the role of a mother I suppose.  You see your mother lost both of her parents very young and went to stay on her grandfather’s plantation not far from New Orleans.  He had lost his wife, your great grandmother, a few years before your mother and aunt moved there.  He decided that both girls needed a woman’s touch, so I came to work for him when your mother was about five years old and Corrine was eight.”

Little Joe thought on what the woman had said and asked, “So, was he mean to my mother?”

“I wouldn’t say mean,” Azelie tried to rephrase what she had said to the boy.  “He was just a rigid man who was set in his ways.  So, the girls grew very attached to me.  I loved them like they were my daughters.”

When an uneasy silence fell over the room, Azelie reached back for the box of chocolates and offered Joe another piece which he gratefully accepted and popped into his mouth.

“Now, let’s talk about you.  You have a love of horses, am I right?”

Joe cast a bewildered glance at the woman and replied, “Yes—but how did you know?  Did my pa tell you yesterday?”

Azelie laughed and shook her head.  “No, he didn’t tell me — I just see it, Joseph—I see a lot of things about you.  Now – you love to train the horses on your ranch, is that right?”

“Yes, Ma’am — sorry – Azie — I started to break horses when I was about fifteen.  My father says I’m a natural,” He answered confidently, though a bit baffled over the fact that the woman had picked up on his ability to handle horses out of the blue.

“Do you know that your mother was a talented horsewoman?”

Nodding, Little Joe replied, “Yes, my father has told me that she was pretty good, Azie.”

“She won quite a few first-place ribbons in competition during her early years, Joseph.”

Trying not to mention that it had been a fall from a horse which had killed his mother, Joe tried to change the subject but didn’t have much luck and just sat there quietly.

Reaching over and touching the boy’s face, Azelie stared into his eyes as though reading his thoughts.  “I know, Joseph.”

“Know what?”

“I know that your mother was killed in a fall from a horse,” She returned calmly.

“How?  Did Pa tell you?”

Shaking her head she answered, “Some things I just feel inside.  It’s a gift I suppose.  Do you remember much about when that happened, Joseph?”

Staring down to the floor, Joe became a bit self-conscious and tried his best to guard his feelings from the woman.

“I can help you –help you remember your mother – but only the happy times you spent with her — none of the sadness,” She offered and witnessed the surprise in the boy’s eyes.

“How?  I don’t remember her – not anymore.”

“If you will just give me a little while to know you – I’m certain that I can help you to recall Marie and her love for you,” She assured him.

“Today?   How long would it take?” He questioned, a glint of expectancy easily readable in his eyes over the thought that the woman could make that happen.

Azelie laughed and brushed a hand through Joe’s hair.  “No, not today – but if you’d come back and spend just a bit of time with me, I will show you how it can be done.”

Grinning, Little Joe nodded her way.  “I’d like that – I don’t talk about my Ma anymore – because everyone else remembers her but me.  It would be nice to still have some memories of the way she was.”

Azelie simply smiled and nodded to the young man and watched as he became even more relaxed sitting there next to her.

Joe eased back against the cushions of the sofa again.  He felt as though he could just fall asleep right then and there.  He wondered why he suddenly felt so comfortable next to the woman who was, after all, a stranger to him.

Azelie watched as the boy’s eyelids began to droop and she began to softly hum a tune which eased Joe into a peaceful slumber.

**********

Two hours later, Charles and Ben returned to the suite and walked over to where Azelie and Little Joe still sat on the sofa.

“Sorry we were gone longer than planned,” Charles announced as he made his way over to his grandmother.

Little Joe looked up at his father and grinned.  “Did you show Mister Bertrand all around the town, Pa?”

“Yes, Son,” Ben nodded.  “I believe he won’t have any trouble finding his way now.  I introduced him to Roy Coffee, the president of the bank and a few others we met along the way.  I guess they were a bit long-winded which delayed us coming right back.  Are you about ready, Joseph?  We do need to get on home.”

Little Joe turned and looked at the woman who he had spent the afternoon talking with and smiled.  “Azie – thank you – I had a nice time.”

“I did as well, Joseph,” She nodded to the boy and affectionately ran her hand across the back of his head.

Ben was very surprised to find his son so relaxed after witnessing his earlier uneasiness.  Joseph appeared to be very comfortable around Azelie, almost as though he had known the woman a lot longer than just a couple of hours.  It usually took his son awhile to warm up to a stranger but this time it appeared as though the boy had an immediate attachment to Azelie.

“I will see you again soon, Joseph,” The woman said as she stood to walk both Cartwrights to the door.

“I’d like that,” Joe nodded and offered the woman a smile as he joined his father who was preparing to leave.

“Then come back again – perhaps tomorrow unless you have other plans?”

Little Joe stared up at his father and asked, “Pa – I don’t have anything to do tomorrow – would it be okay with you?”

Ben was once again put on the spot and there wasn’t much he could do about it either after witnessing the way both Joe and Azelie were staring hopefully at him.

“That’ll be fine, Son.  Have a nice evening, goodbye for now,” Ben called to Charles and nodded to Azelie as she opened the door for them both.

“Goodbye, Ben – Joseph,” Charles smiled over to the two of them and watched as they walked out into the hall.

***********

“Mamie?  I take it from the look on your face that all went well?”

Azelie was grinning, very satisfied by the boy’s visit.  She walked back to the sofa and stared at her grandson.  “It went very well.  Joseph is very eager to learn all about Marie.”

Charles lifted the box of chocolates and nodded her way as he replied, “And I see Joseph liked your candy.”

“It was just what he needed to relax,” the woman grinned.  “You see how eager he is to return – and that is another gratifying consequence of indulging in the chocolates that I make!”

Charles laughed and kissed his grandmother’s cheek.  “How well I know, Mamie – how well I know!”

“I’m sure he will have more to ask me tomorrow and I will have more candy for him also.”

Charles watched as the woman walked to her bedroom with a contented smile on her face.  He knew that his grandmother had a lot to share with the young Cartwright boy as she had been talking about him for months.

*********

Ben examined his son’s facial expression as they rode back to the Ponderosa in the buckboard late that afternoon.  Joseph hadn’t said very much about his visit with Azelie, and he wondered just what the boy was thinking about.  Joe hadn’t said much more other than to tell him that he looked forward to going back the next day to spend some time with her.

“Hey – you still with me?” Pa finally asked as he lightly shook his son’s left arm.

“Yeah – I guess I was just daydreaming,” Joe returned with a yawn as he pulled himself up higher on the bench seat.

“You look tired – I guess that’s why you’ve not said more than a few words, huh?”

Attempting to shake himself from his thoughts about all that Azelie had told him that day, Joe glanced over at his father.  “Oh – sorry, Pa.  I guess you’re right, I am a little tired – doesn’t make sense though – I’ve not done a thing all day other than talk.”

“I’m sorry that I was gone for so long.  I hope it didn’t bother you to stay there all that time with someone you didn’t know?” Ben continued, staring into the boy’s eyes.

“Oh – that was okay, I didn’t mind, Pa.  The afternoon went by fast anyhow.”

“You seem to have enjoyed talking with Azelie.  I’m surprised, however, that you want to go right back to visit with her tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised too – I was kind of dreading meeting her – you know?  But she was really nice.  You don’t have a problem with me going back so soon, do you?  I mean I’m caught up with all my chores right now.”

Ben reached over and patted the boy’s shoulder and grinned at him.  “No, Son, I don’t have a problem with it.  I think it’s nice of you to offer to see her again — you don’t have to.”

“Well, she came all this way – so I thought I’d go and find out what else she wants to tell me about my Ma.”

“If it’s not prying -well – mind if I ask what she talked to you about?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and responded, “We didn’t get into too much today, Pa.  She just told me some things about my great grandfather – and talked about when she came to live with him.  Just stuff like that.”

Ben turned the team of horses up the narrowing path that would bring them to the clearing leading to the house.  “Your great grandfather – Lazare Del Vie.  I remember your mother telling me about him and the plantation where she was raised.”

“Yes, Sir – and she told me that he was left-handed – just like your father was.  I guess it runs in the family.”

Chuckling, Ben nodded over at his son and said, “Well, you are continuing that tradition, I guess.  Did she tell you anything else about him?”

“Just that he was a strict businessman that’s about as much as we got into today.  Maybe she’ll tell me more about him tomorrow?”

The buckboard rounded the barn and Ben pulled up just to the right of the front corral where the two of them stepped down.

“I’ll put the horses up, Pa – you go on and I’ll be in soon,” Joe offered.

“Thank you, Son,” Ben smiled and relinquished the team of horses to the boy.  He watched as Little Joe seemed to move a bit slower than usual as he went about unhitching the buckboard and turning the two horses into the front corral.  There was something just a little different about the way his son had been acting on the trip back to the ranch though Pa couldn’t put his finger on it.  Ben shook himself from his musings, chalking up his concern over his son to him just being a bit tired from the long ride back and forth to Virginia City.  Leaving Joe alone to finish his task, he turned to the house to get some badly needed coffee.

**********

Once the four Cartwrights were seated at the dinner table and Pa had said the blessing, the conversation turned to the two strangers in town.

“Joe?  What were they like?” Hoss began as he passed the rolls down the table to Adam.

There wasn’t any response from Little Joe, who just stared off into nothingness as though he was in a trance.

“Hey— Joe –wake up, will you?” Adam called over to his brother who he was attempting to hand the basket of dinner rolls off to.

When there still wasn’t a response from off to his right, Ben reached over and lightly shook his son’s left arm.  “Joseph?  Didn’t you hear either of your brothers?”

Little Joe finally became aware that everyone was staring at him.  He looked sheepishly over at his father and apologized.  “Oh – sorry – what did you two say?” He asked, casting a quick look at both Hoss and Adam.

“Well, I was trying to pass you these rolls,” Adam answered as he passed him the breadbasket.

“Yeah, and I was asking you about those two visitors from New Orleans,” Hoss added.

Joe mindlessly removed a roll and set the basket down in the middle of the table.  He felt as though he had been awakened from a dead sleep and couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly so exhausted.  “They’re both nice,” he nodded over to Hoss.

Ben cast a quick confused glance over to his two older boys and then stared at Little Joe once more.

“Joseph—you look about done in.”

Joe nodded and remarked, “Yeah – sorry – but I’m not too hungry, Pa.  If it’s all the same to you, I’d just like to turn in.”

“You’re too puny to miss a meal,” Hoss chuckled.  “Why don’t you try to eat a little bit anyway, Little Brother?”

Joe turned his attention back to his father and asked, “Is it okay, Pa?  I’m pretty beat.”

Ben nodded and looked around the table, attempting to warn his other sons with his stern gaze not to protest their brother’s departure.  “That’s fine, you go on get some sleep.”

“Night,” Joe said and stood from the table.  He didn’t waste any time as he hurried to the staircase and walked up to his room.

“Wonder why he’s so tired, Pa?  He didn’t do any chores today.” Hoss asked curiously.

Shrugging his shoulders, Ben returned, “Well, your brother was very apprehensive about meeting Charles and his grandmother – perhaps he’s played out because he fretted himself too much over the visit?”

“So, it went okay after he settled down some?” Adam questioned.

“Apparently—since he’s going back there tomorrow,” Ben nodded as he sipped his coffee.  He tried to fight his worry over the way Joe had acted ever since they had left the hotel.  The boy had been so quiet, and he hoped it had been just as he had suggested, and that Joe was just tired from having to meet the two strangers.

**********

“How good of you to come,” Azelie said as she welcomed Little Joe the next afternoon and led him inside the hotel room.

“I hope I’m not too early?” Joe asked and noticed Charles had just come out of one of the two bedrooms.

“Nonsense, I’ve been up for hours,” She replied and waved the boy over to the parlor.  “Come and sit down, Joseph.”

“Thank you, Ma’am – I mean Azie,” Joe caught himself and then nodded over to Charles.  “How are you, Sir?”

“Fine, Joseph.  I won’t be in your way—I’ve got some business to tend to,” Charles nodded to the boy and then kissed his grandmother’s cheek.  “I’ll be back in a couple of hours, Mamie, enjoy your time together.”

“Thank you, Darling,” She smiled up at him as she sat down next to Little Joe.

Once Charles left Azelie reached over to the pitcher on the coffee table and turned towards her guest.  “How would you like some iced tea?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I’m not especially fond of tea, Azie.”

Patting the boy’s arm, she grinned and poured a glass for him anyway.  “Oh, this was sent up from the kitchen, but I added a few things to make it taste better.  I always travel with my own herbs which I grow back in New Orleans.  Won’t you try it, Joseph?”

Trying his best to be polite, Little Joe accepted the glass and took a couple of short sips.  “Hey, this isn’t bad – nothing like what Hop Sing our cook makes.  What’s in it that makes it taste so good?”

“Oh, just a few things like mint and other plants that grow there at my house back home.  Now — I want you to look at this,” Azelie paused and opened a small locket she removed from around her neck.  She handed it to Joe.

Studying the portrait inside, Little Joe stared over at the woman and asked, “Who is this?’

“That’s your mother, Joseph—she was about ten when that was painted.  She was lovely, wasn’t she?”

Joe nodded and remarked, “Yeah, Pa’s got other pictures of her – but she was older in those – I’d never seen one when she was so young.”

“You resemble her,” Azelie grinned and swept a hand across the boy’s head.

“I know – Pa says that a lot,” Joe nodded trying not to frown and give away the fact that he always hurt deep inside every time he heard his father say those kinds of things.  He never told Pa that because he would then ask why and Joe wouldn’t be able to answer his question.  Little Joe suddenly grew quiet, still attempting to hide his inner pain.

“It hurts you that you can’t remember her, doesn’t it?”

Nervously sipping his drink, Joe finally answered the woman.  “Yeah – I guess so.”

Azelie waited for her young friend to drink more before she continued her questions.  After a few awkward minutes she began once more.  “Why don’t you sit back some and relax, Joseph?  I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I want you to close your eyes and think about your mother and tell me if you can picture her face.”

Little Joe doubted that he’d be able to pull up anything more than the picture of his mother that always sat on his father’s desk.  He closed his eyes and tried his best anyway.

“No – nothing,” He remarked sadly.

“Here, your glass is almost empty – let me get you a bit more,” She offered and removed the glass from his hand.  “All you need to do is relax a little more and I’m quite sure that between the two of us we can bring the memories of your mother back to you.”

************

Ben opened the front door and stared out into the yard for the third time that evening.  It was past eight o’clock and the family had already eaten their dinner having waited long enough for Little Joe’s return.  Ben was a stickler for promptness, especially for dinner which was always ready by seven o’clock sharp and all his sons knew that.

“Where is that boy?” Ben fussed as he turned back into the living room and faced Adam and Hoss.  “He knows what time we eat around here!”

Hoss and his brother exchanged knowing glances.  They knew how much their father always worried about Little Joe, especially when he failed to return home in time for supper.

“Oh, Pa – maybe he just lost track of time,” Hoss offered, hoping to get the man to simmer down.

“Yeah, you know how Little Joe is – he rarely gets home when he should,” Adam jumped into the conversation.

“He should have been home hours ago!” Ben objected to the logic offered by both of his sons though he knew why they had said what they had.

“Come on, Pa – he’ll be home soon – just settle down,” Hoss tried once more.

Before he could respond, Ben heard a rider approaching and hurried back to the door again.  Pulling it open, he noticed that Little Joe was outside leading his horse into the barn.

“I told you,” Hoss grinned as he met his father at the door.  “Now don’t jump on him right away.  Let him get inside before you start yelling at him, Pa.”

“I am NOT going to yell,” Ben argued.  “But I am going to tell him what time we eat around here since he’s obviously forgotten!”

Adam stood from his chair and called across the room, “Hoss, why don’t we turn in?  We’ve got to head up to the timber camp at first light.”

Hoss glanced over at his brother and could tell that he was giving him a subtle hint that they needed to get out of the path of their father’s wrath.  “Yeah—guess that’s a good idea, Adam.  See you in the morning, Pa.”

“You both will be taking your disobedient little brother with you tomorrow,” Ben mentioned as he watched the two of them heading to the staircase.

“Yes, Sir -we know,” Adam smiled.  “And we’ll make sure that he gets home on time for supper too!”

**********

A short while later Little Joe pulled the heavy planked door open and quietly walked over to the credenza.  He removed his hat, jacket and holster before making it over to the grandfather clock to see how late he was. Frowning he turned to see his father who was standing very rigidly next to the fireplace.  It was easy to spot the firm set to the man’s shoulders and the sharp stare he was sending over at him.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Pa,” He called apprehensively.

“You missed supper for the second night, Young Man,” Ben answered gruffly showing his displeasure.

“I ate a little something in town,” Joe explained and walked over to the settee and sat down.  He was well aware that his father would take issue with the fact that he’d been gone all day without sending any word as to why.  Now all he could do was wait for Pa to simmer down some and refrain from commenting too much.

Ben shook his head, not amused in the least.  “Joseph, you weren’t supposed to be in town all day and half the night.”

“Sorry,” Joe responded quietly, still avoiding Pa’s gaze.  He looked up briefly as his father moved over to his red leather chair and took a seat.

Staring over at his youngest Ben couldn’t help noticing that the boy was yawning, apparently just as tired as he had been the previous night.  His anger melted away at the sight.

“I think you’d better turn in.  You three boys have to get up very early and help out at the timber camp at first light.”

Joe frowned and countered, “But I told Azie I’d come by again tomorrow.”

Ben shook his head and glared over at his son.  “You shouldn’t have told her that, Joseph.  You’ve got work to do.”

“Can’t Hoss and Adam handle it?  I want to go back to see her,” He complained.

“No,” Ben stated firmly.

Standing abruptly and staring down at his father Joe’s temper peaked.  “First, you ask me to go and see her and now you have a problem because I want to do it!  I wish you’d make up your mind.” He replied sharply with a type of anger in his tone of voice that surprised his father by its intensity.

Ben stood as well and reached over for his son’s arm and clamped a hand down onto it.  “I’d advise you to watch that tone of voice, Young Man.”

“I just wanted to go see her – that’s all,” Joe muttered, lowering his voice but still refusing to look at his father.

“You’ve been in town the last two days, I think it’s best that you go out to the timber camp and help your brothers tomorrow.”

“Okay – then what about the day after?”

“We’ll see – it depends on your attitude. If you’re going to come back from town shouting at me then I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see her again.”

Little Joe looked down at the floor and fought his disappointment.  “I’m sorry, Pa—I shouldn’t have raised my voice to you.”

No matter how much he wanted to, Ben couldn’t remain angry with his youngest, not after he had apologized and from the look on his face had meant it.  He loosened his grip on the boy’s arm and said softly, “What’s troubling you, Son? It’s just not like you to come home late and fire off at me.”

Little Joe shrugged his shoulders and still avoided his father’s eyes.  “I – I think I’m just tired, Pa — I don’t guess I slept too well last night.”

“Well, you go on and turn in.  Maybe a good night’s sleep will help?”

Nodding, Joe finally stared up at his father and his voice took on a mournful tone to it as he added another apology, “I’m really sorry, Pa – I should’ve come home for dinner—and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Ben patted the boy’s shoulder to show that all was forgiven, “Alright, Joseph, we’ll just chalk it all up to your being tired.  Now you go on and get some rest.”

“Goodnight,” he said and walked up to his room.

Ben stood by the staircase perplexed over his son’s behavior that night.  Little Joe rarely raised his voice to him, and he wondered what had set him off like that.  He hoped that it was just like the boy had said, that he was tired from not sleeping the previous night and that it didn’t have anything to do with Azelie Bertrand.

***********

Little Joe effortlessly fell off into a deep sleep that night not long after his head hit the pillow.  He tossed back in forth in bed, his face perspiring and his heart beating rapidly.  There were strange voices, all echoing in unison, however there was one female voice which cried out a bit louder from the midst of the confusion and it seemed hauntingly familiar to him.  Joe dreamed that he was walking down a long dark tunnel with only a small glowing ball of light coming from the very end.  With each step that he took in that direction the long hall seemed to lengthen making it impossible to reach the end.  The voices grew louder and one of them spoke out with a slight French accent beckoning Joe to draw closer.  He couldn’t quite understand what had been said, but he distinctly heard the words, “mon petit garcon”. Joe picked up his pace, and began running towards the sound, but he couldn’t make it to the end of the long tunnel, causing him to shout out in a frenzied panic.  He suddenly sprang up in his bed and fought to catch his breath.  Tossing back his covers, Little Joe stood and reached for the water pitcher on his nightstand.  For some strange reason his mouth was as dry as a desert and he didn’t even have enough spit in his mouth to be able to swallow the lump which he felt in his throat after experiencing the disturbing nightmare.  With his hands shaking he downed the entire contents very quickly.  Joe turned toward the light from the hall lamp which shone from the small crack underneath his door.  He wondered how long he had been asleep and if Pa had already turned in for the night.  He had to fight the desire to go and find out.  Joe reasoned that he was almost seventeen and much too old to summon his father to his room due to a mere nightmare.  Staring back over to his bed and, hesitating for a few minutes, he finally climbed back up.  As Little Joe settled underneath his covers, he prayed that the nightmare wouldn’t come back as the memory of it had left him feeling very ill at ease and haunted by the voice which had called out to him.

“Joseph?” Ben whispered as he quietly eased the bedroom door open and drew closer to his son’s bed.

“Pa?” Joe returned, surprised to see his father standing there with the lamp held in his right hand.

Settling the lamp onto the nightstand, Ben sat down on the side of the bed and dropped a hand onto his son’s shoulder.  “Are you alright?”

Trying to pretend that all was well, Joe forced a confident smile and answered, “Sure I am, Pa.”

Ben’s hand found its way up to the boy’s forehead pushing aside the perspiration-soaked curls that were stuck to his son’s skin.  “You’re covered in sweat – are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, Sir – I was just a little hot,” He tried once again to assuage his father’s worry.

Growing frustrated over his son’s obvious lie, Ben swiped his hand down to the boy’s cheek.  “Joseph, what does it take to get an honest answer from you anymore?  Now you had a nightmare – why don’t you just admit it.  And it’s quite cold in here so I rather doubt you were hot unless you’re sick.”

Pulling himself up in his bed, Joe leaned against his headboard and drew in a deep breath trying to decide just how much he should tell his father.  “Okay, I had a nightmare but, like I said, I’m okay, Pa.”

“What was it about?”

Little Joe gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and replied, “I don’t remember, Pa – it’s passed now – go on to bed.”

“You were shouting out in your sleep, Son.  Don’t you think that if you’d talk about it — it just might help?”

Joe dropped his head down towards his chest and closed his eyes.  He didn’t want to tell his father what he had seen and heard in his sleep because it was just now dawning on him that the voice which had called out in French might just be his mother.  Joe wondered if his long conversation about Marie that day had summoned thoughts of her.

“Joseph?” Ben called softly as he lifted his son’s chin to try to get a good look into the eyes which always gave up the boy’s secrets – at least to his father.

“Just a dream, Pa — nothing made any sense in it – so there’s nothing to talk about.  I’m sorry I woke you – I’d hoped that I was too old to have these anymore,” He whispered, embarrassed to have summoned his father into his room the way he had when he was just a little kid.  Back then Pa could always vanquish the various monsters he used to dream about and send them far away where they could no longer torment him.  But now his nightly visions had nothing to do with monsters but were something far darker and frightening.

Ben softly combed his fingers through his son’s hair and cast a knowing smile towards him.  “Joseph, nightmares aren’t dependent on a person’s age, they can happen to anyone.  There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  I just wanted to help if I could – so you could get some sleep.”  Ben worried as he examined the boy’s face.  Perspiration dotted his cheeks and swept down to the bottom of his neck where his nightshirt covered his chest, which Ben surmised was also covered in sweat now.

“Pa, please go back to bed.  I’ll probably fall right back off once you leave,” Joe insisted.

Shaking his head as he drew in a deep breath, Ben had to surrender to his son’s request as he stood from the bed.  He watched as Joseph eased back underneath his covers and sent him a rather animated nod that he was okay.

“I hope you can sleep now, Son.  Promise to come and get me if you have any more nightmares?”

“Sure, Pa,” He agreed and watched as his father retrieved his lamp and turned for the door.

Ben slowly walked out of the room worried about his son and wondering what the boy was keeping from him.

***********

After waving goodbye to his three sons the next morning Ben turned to his study where there were numerous business papers for him to go through including several contracts that would require his undivided attention.  He had noticed that his youngest hadn’t shown any sign that he was upset over the interrupted sleep from the night before.  Little Joe had polished off the breakfast that Hop Sing had prepared for him and Ben hoped that his worry over the boy hadn’t been justified.

**********

“Little Joe!” Adam shouted as he grabbed his brother’s arm roughly and tugged him away from the timber crew.  He escorted him over to their three horses to chew him out over his carelessness.

“What is it NOW?” Joe returned angrily.  “You’ve been on my back all day and I’m sick of it, Adam!”

“You darn well almost got yourself killed, that’s what!” Adam yelled.  “If Hoss hadn’t pushed you out of the way at the very last second that darn tree would’ve fallen right on top of you!”  Adam had to take a few seconds to calm down.  He had seen what was about to happen to Joe but had been too far away to do anything about it but fortunately Hoss had seen the boy walking underneath the huge pine which had been seconds away from falling on top of him.

Hoss had heard the raised voices and after talking to a couple of the timber crew, jogged over to his brothers before things got out of hand.  He knew why Adam was incensed with the kid, but he didn’t want it to come to blows as Little Joe could lose his temper with very little prodding.

“Stop treating me like I’m a little kid – I know what I’m doing!” Joe shouted defensively.

“Hold on there, Short Shanks,” Hoss jumped in, grabbing the boy’s left arm before he had the chance to throw a punch aimed at Adam.  “We wuz just scared for you, Little Joe!  That tree was coming down fast and it could’ve killed you.”

“Yeah – well it didn’t!” Joe insisted, never taking his eyes off Adam.  He was mad that he had been dressed down by him in front of the other workers and it showed on his face.

“It didn’t kill you because Hoss saved your ornery hide!” Adam fussed.

Little Joe looked down at the ground and tried to hide his embarrassment.  He knew it was a stupid thing that he had done, walking in front of where a team of men had just cut into the base of a forty-foot pine tree and yelled for everyone to clear out.  “Okay—okay I’m sorry.”

Adam and Hoss exchanged a worry filled glance back and forth and noticed that their little brother was upset over his reckless behavior.

“Listen, Kid,” Adam began, now lowering his voice to instill some semblance of calm.  “We just don’t want you to get hurt and if you’re not careful around the logging crew it’s going to happen.  You’ve just got to pay more attention to what’s going on around you.”

Hoss reached over and threw a massive arm around his little brother’s shoulder hoping to calm him.  “Yeah, we don’t want to lose you, Little Joe – even if you do drive us crazy!”

Nodding his head, Joe finally looked over at Adam and offered an apology.  “Sorry, Adam – I guess my mind was elsewhere.”  He turned towards Hoss and said, “Thanks, Big Brother – for pushing me away in time.”

Chuckling, now very relieved that his two brothers were no longer at each other’s throats, Hoss clapped Joe on the back and replied, “I had to save you – who else would cheat me at checkers if you go and get yourself killed?”

Joe grinned and nodded over at Hoss.  “Yeah—guess you’re right.  Hey, it’s getting late – are you two ready to go back home yet?”

Adam cast a quick glance up at the sky and could tell that it wouldn’t be long before the sun would be setting behind the vast mountain range to the west.  He also knew that the three of them had a long ride back to the ranch house to make it there in time for supper.  Adam wasn’t about to make his father worry like Pa had done the previous night.  “I’ll go talk to the foreman and then we’ll head on back home,” He announced and walked over to where the lead woodsman stood barking orders to his crew.

***********

Charles crossed the parlor and knocked on the door to his grandmother’s room.  She had been extremely quiet all day and he was concerned that it had bothered her that Joe Cartwright had never made an appearance that day.

“Come in,” Azelie called from across the room where she sat in front of the mirror brushing her long white hair.

“Mamie?  Are you alright?  You hardly spoke to me this evening at dinner,” he said crossing the room and coming up right behind her.

Azelie smiled and nodded her head as she set down her hairbrush.  “It is well, my darling boy, Joseph will return tomorrow.”

“You seem quite certain of that fact — did he mention that yesterday?”

Turning around in her chair she stared up at her grandson.  “I just know that he will.  Some things do not have to be spoken in words.”

“Well, you’ve always been quite correct in the past – however we both thought that the boy would come by today as well.”

Azelie brought her necklace up into her hands and motioned for Charles to help her with the delicate clasp.  He gently placed it around the woman’s neck, fastened it, and watched her reflection in the mirror.  Mamie seemed quite pleased with herself for some reason as her hand touched the locket hanging from the silver chain.

“I promised my Marie that she would have her son back and it will happen.  I have patience and confidence as well that Joseph will be here tomorrow.”

Confusion framed Charles’ face as he took to heart what his grandmother had said.

“You mean Joseph will have his mother back – isn’t that what you meant, Mamie?”

Azelie gently patted her grandson’s hand and nodded, “Oh, yes, I misspoke — Joseph will have his mother back.”

“Mamie, would you like me to order you some bedtime tea before you retire?”

“No, my darling, I am fine – you go on to bed and sleep well.  I shall have a most interesting day ahead for me.”

“Goodnight, Mamie, sleep well,” Charles whispered as he placed a soft kiss on his grandmother’s cheek before taking his leave and closing the bedroom door.

Azelie waited until she was alone to open the locket and stare down at the portrait of the young girl she had raised.  “Marie, I will bring your son to you – do not worry.”

************

Adam had waited until his brothers had retired for the night before speaking with his father.  He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace and addressed his mounting concerns about what had happened that day.

“Pa, I’m telling you Joe almost got himself killed today,” Adam complained staring over at his father who was seated just to the left of him.

Ben shook his head and frowned, “So – wasn’t he paying attention?  It’s not like him – he knows how dangerous it is not to watch where the loggers are cutting trees.”

Adam, tired from the long day of back-breaking work, sat down on the corner of the coffee table and nodded.  “I know, Pa, but it was as though the kid was in another world – and it didn’t happen just that one time either!  Hoss and I caught Joe just staring off into nothing a couple of times this afternoon.  Well—you saw him at supper—he just acts like he’s in another world.”

Ben drew in a deep breath, his worry mounting over what his eldest had conveyed to him once his brothers had gone off to bed, and replied, “The boy had a nightmare last night – and I don’t think it’s the first one lately either.  I just don’t know what’s going on with him, Adam.”

“Well while you try to figure out that kid, I think it’d be better if Hoss and I went back up to the timber camp by ourselves.  Maybe you can find something else for him to do around here, Pa?”

“He wants to go back into town and talk to Azelie Bertrand—maybe he’s preoccupied with seeing her?  Joseph got very angry last night when I told him that he couldn’t go into town today.”

Adam sighed and nodded his father’s way, “I guess him going back to Virginia City is a whole lot better idea than for him to go back up to the timber camp or anywhere else where he might get hurt.”

“Agreed,” Ben sighed.  “I’m sorry the boy worried you, Son.”

“When hasn’t he?” Adam chuckled but then turned serious again.  “Pa – I don’t want anyone to get injured or killed working on our ranch – and least of all Little Joe.  Just keep him underfoot for a few days and see if he’ll straighten out, okay?”

Reaching over, Ben offered his eldest a commiserative pat to his shoulder.  “I will, now go on get some rest.”

“Goodnight,” Adam nodded to his father and headed up to his bedroom.  He knew he had a long day ahead of him and needed to rest up.

Ben stood from his chair and stared intently into the flames inside the fireplace for a long while.  He felt that there was something he was missing concerning his youngest son’s behavior, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it.

***********

“Finish your tea, Joseph, and then lie back on the sofa and I’ll try to help you remember your mother.  All you need to do is relax a little more,” Azelie instructed and watched as the boy drank the tea she had given him.

“I feel kind of funny laying down like this,” Joe grinned as he eased back so that his head rested on the arm of the sofa.

“Here – this will be much more comfortable,” Azelie said and placed a small pillow under the boy’s head.  “Now close those eyes and let’s see what we can accomplish today.  Breathe slowly, Joseph.”
“Azie – I’ve had some strange dreams the last few nights,” Joe began and wondered why it seemed so natural to confide in the woman when he couldn’t tell his father what his nightmares had been about.  Pa was the one person in the world who understood him best but lately he found it too hard to talk to him.

Sweeping a hand across the boy’s forehead she smiled, “There is nothing to concern yourself with, Joseph – sometimes when memories begin to return dreams begin to tell us the story before we see it clearly during the light of day.  Have you heard your mother’s voice yet?”

“I –I’m not sure, Azie – I heard what sounded like a woman – and she’s been calling out a phrase to me – but I don’t know what it means,” Joe explained forcing his eyes closed though he still felt a bit odd to be doing so.

“What was it?”

“It sounded like – mon petit garcon – but I don’t know if I’ve got that right – I don’t speak French – it just sounded like it.”

A knowing smile creased the woman’s lips.  She was very aware of what the words had meant but resisted telling the boy right off.  “I want you to pay attention to your breathing and nothing else.  Just clear your mind, Joseph, and I’m sure you will soon recover the memories of your mother.  If you will just allow them to come back to you, they will,” She insisted and then began to softly hum the same tune she had the first time that Joe had attempted to recapture the memory of Marie.

**********

Ben had allowed Little Joe to visit Azelie three straight days hoping that it would make him happy and, since the woman would be leaving in another week, he hadn’t presumed that there was any harm in it.  However, when his son had returned home each night, he seemed tired and his thoughts a bit muddled.  Both Hoss and Adam had noticed the change in their brother as well and they had spoken to their father about their concerns once the boy was out of earshot from them.

“He’s out putting his horse away now, Pa,” Hoss called across the room as he entered the house and cast a look over to where his father and brother sat in the living room.

“How did he seem to you, Hoss?”

Hoss shrugged his shoulders as he crossed the room and sat down on the settee.  “Gosh, Pa, I don’t know exactly.  We didn’t talk much – but there’s just something a little off about him, you know?  He’s just got a strange look in his eyes – like he’s looking through me and not at me, if that makes any sense?”

Adam let out a slight groan and turned towards his father and said, “That’s how he’s been this whole time.  Do you think we ought to go and talk to that woman and find out what she’s been telling the kid?”

Ben stood from his chair and glanced over to where Hop Sing was setting out the dinner plates.  “Let me have a talk with Joseph after we eat, Boys.  I didn’t get anywhere when I asked him about what was going on in town yesterday.  Your brother just clammed up and acted defensive the minute that I asked him about his visits with Miss Bertrand and what they spoke about.”

“Maybe she’s getting him upset by telling him about his Ma?” Hoss offered after witnessing the look of apprehension spreading across his father’s face.  “You know Little Joe never has liked talking about her in the past – not even to us.”

The front door opened and Joe entered the house, tossing his holster and hat down on the credenza.  Ben softly cleared his throat and shot a warning glance aimed at his two oldest boys so they wouldn’t start asking a lot of questions and set Joe off.

“Hello, Son, did you have a nice day?” Ben called trying his best to sound nonchalant.

Joe nodded and joined his family in front of the fireplace.  “Yes, Sir,” he said but didn’t add anything further.

“We got the whole hog-back cleared, Little Joe – so we won’t have more than a couple days until we’ll all be here working alongside of you,” Hoss smiled, hoping to illicit a response.

“That’s good,” Joe nodded and then something out of his peripheral vision caught his attention. He suddenly shot a quick glance over at the staircase.  He had seen a strange glimmering circle of light, something akin to ball lightning but softer in its glow.  Joe rubbed at his eyes and stared in that direction once more, only to witness that the light had disappeared from his view.

His three family members all noticed the peculiar look on Joe’s face, but no one wanted to be the first to mention it.  When the silence became deafening Ben finally piped up.

“Joseph?  Are your eyes bothering you?”

Shaking himself from his confusion, Little Joe turned and looked over at his father.

“No—just got some dirt in my eyes, Pa.  I think I’ll go wash up a bit.  I’ll be right down in time for supper,” Joe made his excuse sound believable and hurried up to his room.

“See, Pa?  Now what’s that all about?” Hoss asked very worried about his brother.

“I’ll speak to the boy after we eat – let’s not go borrowing trouble,” Ben offered, though his mounting worry couldn’t be hidden behind his reassuring words.

**********

“I just don’t understand, Pa!” Joe muttered trying to control his temper but growing upset over the stern countenance his father was wearing as he glared up at him.  He had figured that Pa wanted to speak to him in private the minute that both his brothers had excused themselves not long after they had eaten.  Joe knew that it was never a good sign and it usually meant that his father was ready to give him a lecture and they didn’t want to be around to hear it.

“Sit down, Joseph – I’ll not have you raising your voice to me like you did the other night,” Ben insisted with a stern inflection in his tone of voice.  He pointed for his son to sit down opposite him and watched as the boy very reluctantly lighted down on top of the coffee table.

Tightly folding his arms across his chest to ward off his mounting frustration, Joe looked over at his father and said, “I just don’t understand why you have so many questions about my visits with Azie.”

“Don’t you think that as your father I should have the right to ask what’s going on with you?  You haven’t been acting right – and it began just as soon as you started visiting that woman.”

“Nothing is “going on” with me!” Joe announced, his anger coming out in his reply.

Ben simply stared at his son and from past experience Joe knew that his voice was getting too loud for the man’s liking.

“Okay— I’m not shouting at you, Pa—I’m shouting over what you’re asking me about,” He declared.

“Why would my asking questions upset you like this?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders helplessly and before he could reply his gaze was redirected to the front door where that same strange orb of light seemed to dance right above the slide bolt.

Very aware of the way his son had turned his attention away from him, Pa tried to figure out what the boy was now staring at.

“What is it, Joseph?” He questioned quietly.

The instant that his father had spoken the light had disappeared again.  Joe turned back and redirected his gaze.  “Nothing, Pa – now what were you saying?”

Ben’s right hand reached for his son’s arm and held onto it.  “You seem so far away at times, Son—what’s going on with you— why won’t you tell me?”

Dropping his head down Joe responded quietly, “Pa – I don’t have anything to say – I’m fine.  Now why do you need to know what Azie and I talk about?”

“Just tell me, Joseph – come on out with it,” Ben answered, hoping to coax his son into revealing all that he had been speaking to the woman about.  He had already presumed that it concerned Marie, but he needed Joe to confirm that fact and explain more about the reasons behind it.

“We just talk about my Ma – that’s all, Pa.”

“Joseph — I think that you going to see her and talking about your mother is having a bad effect on you.  I know that you’ve been having nightmares every night though you’ve denied it and then there’s your strange behavior too – like the way you seem so distracted all the time.”

“Pa – what do you have against me trying to learn more about my ma from the one person who knew her best?” Joe asked, feeling threatened over the way his father seemed dead set against him going into town to see Azelie.

“Joseph – she knew your mother back when Marie was just a child – that doesn’t mean that she knew Marie best.  I’d like to believe that I knew your Ma best – and she’d have been the first person to keep you away from anyone who might cause you harm.”

Shooting up from the coffee table and taking on a very angry countenance Joe raised his voice and announced, “I should have known that you wouldn’t understand!  Azelie isn’t causing me any harm!  For years you’ve tried to get me to talk about my mother and now that I am – you’ve suddenly got a problem with it.  Is it because I’m trying to find out about my mother or is it because I’m asking Azie about Ma and not you?”

“That’s enough, Joseph,” Ben reprimanded as he stood as well.  “And as for not being harmed – well I guess you’ve forgotten about that incident up at the timber camp?  You were almost killed that day because all of this is weighing on your mind – and you’re missing sleep over it too!”

“I knew that you’d throw what happened up at the timber camp in my face!  Yeah, it didn’t take Adam and Hoss long to tell you all about it when they got home!”

“Lower your voice, Young Man, I won’t say it again,” Ben warned as he attempted to force some calm into the hotly contested issue.

Dropping his head down, Little Joe tried to regroup his emotions before he spoke out again.  “I made a mistake – it’s not the first one and it won’t be the last, but it didn’t have anything to do with Azie,” He defended what had happened that day.

“You could have been killed,” Ben complained and tried to force his son’s gaze.

“None of this has a thing to do with me seeing her – it’s just an excuse you’re throwing out to keep me from going there.  But I’m going to see her anyway—I told her I’d be back tomorrow,” he said defiance spreading across his face.

Ben hadn’t wanted to get angry with the boy who stood there challenging him, but Little Joe was still underage, and he felt it was his duty as his father to try his best to keep him out of harm’s way.  He drew in a deep breath and set his shoulders, taking on his familiar paternal stance.

“Joseph, you aren’t too old for me to lock inside your room if I deem it necessary to prevent you from getting hurt.”

His frustration heightened along with his anger, Little Joe squared off with his father.  He replied indignantly, “Go ahead and try to lock me in my room.  I’ll get out eventually!”

Rethinking his approach with the boy, Ben attempted to choose his words more carefully.  He wanted to get through to his son without increasing the growing animosity between them.  Ben cleared his throat and his voice took on a softer tone as he responded, “I’m worried about the effect that woman is having on you – like you raising your voice to me like you just did.  Joseph – you’ve done that three times now in as many days and that’s not at all like you.  You’re a changed person every single time you make it back home after seeing Azelie.  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t growing more concerned about you every day that passes, Son.”

“Pa?  Don’t I get to make my own choices?  I’m not a little kid – even though just about everyone in this house thinks I am,” Joe’s voice was no longer hostile but carried a deep hurt in its tone.

Ben gently placed an arm around his son and replied, “I’m not saying that you are a little kid – but you’re not quite an adult yet either.”

Joe broke away from his father’s hold and hurried to the stairs refusing to look back at Pa nor respond to what he had said.  Ben watched his son’s hasty departure filled with dread about what the boy’s next move might be.  He knew that Joseph never thought things through and once pressured would go off half-cocked, which usually led to him getting hurt in some way.  However, Ben was determined not to let that happen this time.

************

It had taken a great deal of internal fortitude, but Ben had stuck to his guns and after he had informed his youngest that he would not be going into town for at least two days the boy had no choice in the matter.  Joe hadn’t offered any rebuttal, knowing that his father’s threat to keep him there at the ranch was a real one.  The second day of what he considered to be his captivity; Little Joe stood in the barn and was the picture of pure misery.  He wanted to go and see Azelie, but he didn’t want to fight another round with his father either.  As Little Joe rubbed the saddle soap on the weathered leather, he shook his head frustrated over his predicament.  He felt like his father didn’t understand him anymore and it bothered him because up till then the two of them had always shared such a tight unbreakable bond.  And, on top of all those worries, Little Joe had been suffering from some very extreme headaches that he just couldn’t shake.  He presumed they were being caused by the tension which existed between him and Pa and didn’t mention anything about it for fear that his father would call in Doctor Martin.  Joe decided that was the very last thing that he needed at the time.

Little Joe barely noticed either of his brothers as they pulled their mounts into the barn just shy of five o’clock that afternoon and each called over a hello to him.

“Hey, Little Brother, those saddles plum shine – I can almost see my handsome face in them!” Hoss exclaimed, trying to make his brother smile.

“Yeah,” Joe said never looking up at either Hoss or Adam.

It was next Adam’s turn to try and break the ice and attempt to lift Little Joe’s spirits.  “Joe, need some help?  We got done early and I’ll give you a hand if you want one?”

Spinning around to say something in response to his brother’s offer Joe almost lost his balance and had to play it off so neither man would report back to their father.

“Hey – you okay?” Adam asked after seeing his brother trying to catch himself by reaching a hand over to the stall where the saddle was perched.

“I’m fine – just let me get done, will you?” Joe returned, trying not to snap at either brother.  He was angry with his father and not too sure how he felt about his brothers at the time for having told Pa about the incident up at the timber camp.

“Okay, see you inside,” Adam nodded and turned for the house.

Hoss grabbed a package that he had tied behind his saddle and just patted his little brother’s shoulder as he followed Adam inside.

***********

“You boys got done early,” Ben smiled as he greeted his sons at the door.  “Are those trees all cut and the wood stacked?”

“Yes, Sir,” Adam nodded as he removed his hat and holster.

“Hey, Pa – look here,” Hoss grinned and opened the plain brown bag he had brought from town.  “We stopped at the mercantile, so I got Little Joe’s birthday present.”

“His birthday is still more than two weeks off, Hoss,” Ben reminded his son.  “Okay, go ahead and show me before the boy comes inside.”

Hoss handed the contents of the sack to his father and waited to hear what he thought about his gift.

“A straight razor?” Ben questioned with a bit of confusion on his face.  “Hoss, your little brother barely has any peach fuzz on his face – there’s nothing for that boy to shave yet.”

“Yeah – I know, Pa – but – well – it’s to make him feel more grown up, you know?  Little Joe’s trying hard to show us that he’s not a little kid so I thought that this might make him think that I see him as being older.”

Now Ben understood the meaning of Hoss’ gesture, and he smiled knowingly at his son.  “I see, Hoss – well – I guess it won’t hurt any.  But you are going to explain to the boy how to use this safely, right?”

Hoss laughed, “Sure I will.  I’m going to show him how to lather up and all.  I remember a few weeks back Little Joe standing behind me watching as I shaved and he looked like he couldn’t wait until he had some whiskers!”

Ben nodded his head as a reminiscent smile spread across his lips due to the memories of teaching each of his older boys how to shave.  “Well, Hoss, I’m sure Joseph will appreciate your thoughtful gift but go and hide it good.  You know how curious that boy gets before his birthday.”

“I thought I’d see about getting Joe a new holster,” Adam chimed in as the three of them walked over to the living room and sat down.

“He’d like that,” Ben nodded as he sat down in front of the fireplace.

“Joe didn’t seem very happy when we got home a little while ago.”

Ben sighed and thought on the way his youngest had hardly spoken to him for the last two days, apparently showing his displeasure over not being allowed to go into town.  “I know – but I had to put a stop to him seeing that woman — it’s been affecting him too much.”

“Pa?  It looked like Joe’s balance was a bit off earlier.  He hasn’t gotten into any liquor, has he?”

Staring over at Adam, Ben’s face took on a puzzled appearance.  “What do you mean his balance was off?”

Adam shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I don’t know – it just looked like he just about tripped – but he didn’t fall – maybe I’m wrong.”

“He’s not had anything to drink – in fact he refused to even eat his lunch — I guess as a way to show me his displeasure over not being allowed to go into town.”

The room grew quiet when Little Joe walked inside and tossed his jacket up onto the credenza.  The three men exchanged glances as each wondered just what to say to the boy who didn’t look very happy at that moment.

“How did it go, Son?  Get all those saddles done?” Ben attempted to open the lines of communication which had been closed most of the day between the two of them.

“I got my work done,” Joe announced flatly and turned to stare up at the grandfather clock.  “It’s not even six yet, I want to ride into town for a little while.  Any objections?”

Adam and Hoss woefully looked back and forth and then over to their father who had been put on the spot again.

“Hey– -yeah, we could all go and just have one beer and still make it home in time for supper.  What do you say, Pa?” Hoss threw in hoping to ease the tension in the room.

“Not tonight, Joseph,” Ben answered as calmly as he could.  “And, no, Hoss it’s too close to suppertime to be heading into town now.  Hop Sing’s fixing a nice meal for all of us.”

Little Joe never said another word and simply walked to the stairs.  By the time he got to the first landing he spotted the glowing ball of light which seemed to hover at the top of the staircase.  It made him stop in his tracks and, very bewildered, pensively stared up in its direction.  He briefly closed his eyes and then looked up again, and just as in the past, it had vanished.

Ben had witnessed his son’s strange behavior and headed over to him.  “Joseph?  Are you okay?”

Shaking himself out of his confusion he turned and shot a quick glance at his father.  “I’m fine,” He muttered flatly and continued up to his room.

Watching his son’s abrupt departure Ben couldn’t help worrying about the boy who wouldn’t tell him what was going on with him.  He had wanted to follow Joe up to his room but decided against it since he knew that his son wasn’t very happy about being forced to stay away from town.

***********

“I’m not going to church,” Joe announced as he made his way down the stairs the next morning and watched his family getting their coats and hats in preparation for the trip into Virginia City.

“Joseph,” Ben began but was cut off.

“It’s Sunday and you can’t take issue with me going to see Azelie today.  I stayed away the last two days and I’m going to see her.  Now you can threaten to lock me in my room again or you can threaten me with a tanning, but that’s not going to stop me either, Pa.  I gave my word that I would visit her on Friday, and you made me break it.  She’s going to be leaving town in a few days and I’m not going to let her down again.  You said it yourself when her and her grandson arrived — you told me that she might not live much longer.  I don’t think it’s very “Christian-like” to just ignore her.  You always said that being a Christian isn’t only about going to church on Sunday it’s also about showing your faith the rest of the week,” Joe argued his point.

Ben watched as his other two sons stared over at him.  He didn’t know what to say in response to what Joseph had so poignantly said to him.  His youngest had used his own words against him and there wasn’t a whole lot that he could say now without sounding like a hypocrite.

“Alright, Joseph, you go on ahead,” He finally nodded to the boy.

“Thanks, Pa,” Little Joe rewarded his father with a smile, which was a rare sight lately.

“Be home for supper, Young Man, understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe returned and grabbed his coat, hat and holster and hurried outside.

“Well – that boy used my own words against me – he put me on the spot,” Ben groaned as he turned towards both Adam and Hoss.

“You done right, Pa,” Hoss grinned.

“I agree,” Adam nodded and grabbed his hat as the three men readied to hitch up the surrey and head to attend church services.

***********

“I’m so glad you could come, Joseph,” Azelie smiled as she led the boy into the suite.

Pulling off his hat Joe apologized, “Sorry – I had some chores that I couldn’t get out of, Azie.  I guess I shouldn’t have told you I’d be back Friday without checking with my father first.”

The woman stared into the young man’s face and nodded to him.  “Your father didn’t want you to come back, isn’t that right, Joseph?”

Joe didn’t know how to respond as it was almost as if the woman before him could read his thoughts.  “He didn’t object to me coming today.”

Azelie waved her young friend over to the sofa and they both sat down.  “Here, drink some tea – oh and you need to try a few chocolates because I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow and you won’t ever have candy quite like this again.”

Little Joe accepted the chocolate as well as the glass of tea that Azelie offered him.  “Thank you, Azie – I will miss you – and these too!”

Sitting back against the sofa, Azelie watched as Joe ate a few more pieces of chocolate and then washed them down with the tea she had offered.

“Now – tell me – have you had any visions of Marie?  You told me that you’ve been seeing a light –have you seen it again?”

Closing his eyes, Little Joe remembered how the orb of light had appeared numerous times over the last few days, but each time had disappeared quickly.  “I still see that light – especially in my house – but it doesn’t last long.  I also have heard the voice again – and always those same three words,” Joe paused and fought back his increasing headache.

“Are you not feeling well, Joseph?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he nodded slightly.  “It’s a headache and it comes and goes, Azie.”

“That can be a sign that angels are attempting to contact you – and perhaps it is your mother.”

“But how would I know?  I still can’t see my ma’s face, Azie,” Joe frowned, worried that he’d never recapture the memories he had hoped to when he had first begun to talk about Marie with the woman.

Brushing a hand across the boy’s head and sweeping back his fallen bangs, Azelie smiled knowingly and replied, “I know your mother has been reaching out for you – because I have heard her myself.”

Fighting his disbelief, Little Joe stared into the woman’s eyes and watched her nod confidently.  “But – if you can hear her – then why can’t I?”

“I had a little something to help me, Joseph – something that has been used for centuries,” Azelie remarked and opened a small tin that she had placed next to the box of chocolates.

“What’s that?” Joe asked, his curiosity now having been peaked.

“Just an herb I grow at my house – as a matter of fact I put some in both the chocolates and in this tea as well.  But that was to help you – though it wasn’t as much as I took to hear Marie.”

“So – I’ve already had some?”

Azelie nodded and answered, “Yes, which is why you’ve been able to see that ball of light – it’s a start to being able to see your mother.”

Thinking on the situation, Little Joe finally looked back up at the woman and asked, “If I took some more of it – well – then would I be able to talk to my mother?”

“Yes, but you’ll have to stay here for a little while because it will most likely put you to sleep for an hour or so, Joseph.”

“I don’t have to be home until seven – that’s plenty of time,” Joe nodded eagerly.

Smiling, Azelie removed some of the dried powder that was inside the tin and sprinkled it inside Little Joe’s iced tea glass and then swirled it around a bit and whispered, “We have all the time we need, Joseph.”

“But – well – what if your grandson comes back?  I mean — won’t I wake up?”

“Charles had to go into Carson City to manage some business transactions and won’t be back until late, Joseph.  All is well and I’ll stay right here next to you – so you have nothing to be worried about.  Now here—drink all of this down,” she instructed and handed the boy the glass which contained the tea and her herbs.

Little Joe eagerly drank the contents of the glass and Azelie helped ease him back on the sofa, so he was lying flat on his back.  “Now simply close your eyes and I will hum a song for you that your mother loved and very soon you will see her – and feel the love that she had for you.  When you awaken, you’ll remember everything that you experience including your mother’s touch.”

Closing his eyes, Joe felt his body going lax and he began to fall into a deep slumber as the song that Azelie was humming slowly played in his subconscious mind.   A few minutes later he was unconscious.

Standing from her position on the sofa the woman grinned as she opened the locket hanging from the chain around her neck.  “Marie – I told you that I would send your son to you– he should be with you very soon,” She whispered and then removed the chocolates, the tea and the tin which contained the plants she had grown in her yard in New Orleans.  Azelie secreted them away in her bedroom where no one would find them.

************

Ben, Hoss, and Adam filed out of the church after shaking hands with Reverend Hastings.  They walked to their surrey and though his sons had already climbed up into the seat the worried father hesitated as he stared down to the end of the street towards the International House Hotel.

“What’s wrong, Pa?” Hoss called down to him.

Ben shook his head and gave a slight shrug of his shoulders before replying, “Oh, probably nothing – I was just wondering about your little brother and what he was doing.”

“The kid promised to be home by supper, Pa – I doubt he’d come home late after getting in trouble the last time,” Adam added.

“I know – it’s just that –,” Ben trailed off feeling a bit foolish for worrying so much about Little Joe.

“You just want to see for yourself, right, Pa?” Hoss grinned, knowing how much his father worried about the boy, especially since he had been acting very peculiar lately.

Nodding, Ben returned, “You boys go on back home – I’ll just rent a horse from the livery after I go and make sure that Joseph is doing okay.”

“Want us to just stick around, Pa?”

Ben shook his head, “No, Hoss – I won’t be too far behind you two boys.  I just want to see for myself and remind your brother that he’s expected home on time tonight.”

Adam nodded and untied the reins from the footboard.  “We’ll see you in a little while, Pa,” He called down to his father and sent the team of horses into motion.

************

Entering the hotel lobby, Ben turned to the front desk where he saw Bill Gentry.  He walked over to him as the man looked up.

“Hello, Ben – what can I do for you?”

“Bill, have you seen Little Joe?”

“No – but I just got here about thirty minutes ago,” He replied staring at the other man and noticing the concern on his face.  “Something wrong?”

“Probably not,” Ben nodded still thinking himself a fool for being so worried about his son.  “Charles Bertrand and his grandmother — have you seen either of them today?”

“Yes – as a matter of fact before I went to lunch.  I saw Mister Bertrand and he was over at the livery renting a surrey to go over to Carson City.  He asked me to check on his grandmother later in case he was delayed and didn’t arrive back here until late tonight.”

“Thank you — I think I’ll go check on her myself – and see if Joseph is up there now,” Ben nodded to Bill and hurried to the staircase.

When his loud knock went unanswered, Ben called in through the door of the suite and there wasn’t any response.  He called Azelie’s name as well as his son’s and still no reply was heard from out in the hall.  Ben rattled the doorknob and discovered that it was locked securely.  He then hurried back down to the front desk.

“Bill – I don’t know exactly what’s going on – but do you have a spare key to the Bertrand suite?  Joseph is supposed to be up there with Azelie and though I knocked and called in through the door there wasn’t any answer,” Ben’s voice sounded strained due to his mounting worry.  His fatherly intuition told him that something was very badly wrong and Joseph was in some kind of danger.

Bill turned around and peered into the wooden cubby holes which were used for messages for guests as well as containing extra keys to unlock all the rooms in the hotel.  Retrieving the key to room five he turned back to face Ben.  “Let’s go and find out,” He insisted and the two men headed for the staircase.

Loudly knocking on the suite and getting no response, Bill called for Azelie Bertrand to open the door just as Ben had done.  When a few minutes passed and there was still no sign of anyone, he turned the key in the door and pushed his way inside followed closely behind by Ben Cartwright.

“Joseph!” Ben exclaimed after witnessing his son sprawled out on the sofa.  He rushed over to his side and knelt there next to him.  “Wake up, Son!” He pleaded with increased panic in the tone of his voice as he shook Joe’s shoulders trying his best to awaken him.  Turning around after hearing one of the bedroom doors opening, Ben watched Azelie calmly walking towards the two men.  Standing from where he had been kneeling next to the sofa his face took on a furious countenance as he faced her.  “What’s wrong with my boy!” He demanded.

“Joseph is merely on a journey – he’s gone to see Marie,” She answered matter-of-factly.

“What do you mean he’s gone to see Marie?”

“Marie told me that she longed for her son – so I have sent him to be with her,” Azelie answered as though what she had done was totally harmless.

“Ben – Little Joe’s unconscious,” Bill announced as one by one he lifted the boy’s eyelids.

Trying to bring his son around, Ben lightly slapped Little Joe’s cheeks but the boy showed no sign that he had felt it. He turned and stared at Bill, his face filled with paralyzing fear.  “Do you have a vacant suite where I can take the boy?”

Nodding, Bill motioned towards the hall and said, “Room four across the hall, Ben, it’s not occupied right now.  Come on it’s not locked, follow me!”

Lifting his son’s lifeless body into his arms, Ben shot Azelie a warning look and growled, “If my son dies, you’ll pay dearly.”  He then followed the desk manager out of the suite and across the hall.

Bill made his way into one of the two bedrooms in the suite and tossed back the sheet and comforter so Ben could ease the boy out of his arms.  He gently placed his youngest on the bed and began removing Joe’s boots.

“Could you please go fetch Doc Martin?  I don’t know what that woman gave my son but he’s out cold,” Ben’s plea came off laced with increasing fear.

“I’ll go get him, Ben – be right back!” Bill exclaimed and ran out of the room and down the stairs.

“Joseph,” Ben whispered and felt his son’s wrist.  The boy’s pulse was racing, which made no sense for someone who was unconscious.  Ben had expected a much slower heart rate, but he had no idea what had happened to his son or what he might have ingested.  Acting by pure instinct alone, Ben walked to the water basin and soaked a washcloth.  Bathing his son’s face and neck with the cool water, he attempted to rouse the boy, but all his ministrations proved futile as his son was still unresponsive.

“Joseph – come back to me – please come back,” He begged as he soaked the cloth again and washed the boy’s face and neck for the second time, hoping the water might be cold enough to illicit a response from the boy.  ***What has she done to you?  Why did she say that she’s sent you to be with your mother?  What does that mean – was she trying to kill you?  Marie would never have wanted any of this!  That woman must be insane! *** Ben’s thoughts raced as he stared at his youngest who he loved beyond words; a boy who he would give his life to save.  He prayed for divine intervention as he waited for the doctor to arrive.  ***I should have put my foot down and kept you from seeing Azelie – I thought something was wrong with the way you were acting.  Why didn’t I listen to my instincts?  Even if keeping you away from her made you mad at me, I should have done it to protect you, Joseph! *** He couldn’t stop thinking about all he had witnessed regarding his son’s odd behavior and wished that he had tried harder to learn the cause of it all before tragedy had struck.  ***Come back to me, Joseph – you belong here – not with your mother. *** Ben prayed as tears stung the corners of his eyes.  ***I failed you – it’s my job to protect you, Son – and I just let you go see her – never realizing what she was doing to you.  Oh, Dear Lord, please save my boy I need him! ***

*********

Doctor Paul Martin had just arrived back at his office in town after a very long day of tending to folks and was turning the key in the door when the loud shout from Bill Gentry stopped him in his tracks.  He spun around and watched as the hotel manager jogged across the street.

“What is it, Bill?” Paul asked as he placed a calming hand on the other man’s shoulder.  He could see that Bill was out of breath and his face was flushed.

“We just found Little Joe Cartwright unconscious over at the hotel, Doc!”

Paul drew in a deep breath as a frown played on his lips.  “Does Ben know?”

“He’s with him now – better come quick!”

Medical bag in hand, Paul crossed C Street alongside Bill Gentry as they made their way back to the International House.

“Thank God,” Ben whispered and turned towards his long-time friend.

Paul made his way over to the bed and cast a quick glance at the still figure lying there.  He set his medical bag on the nightstand and then faced Ben Cartwright.

“Bill said that the two of you think someone gave Little Joe something that knocked him out?”

Ben nodded and his face looked grim as he responded, “I’ve gotten him out of his clothes, Paul, and I’ve been washing him down with cold water, but he’s not moved an inch.  Two people from New Orleans showed up about a week ago – and one of them – a ninety-year-old woman who was Marie’s nurse growing up apparently gave the boy something – I don’t know what – and she said that she’s sent Joseph to meet his ma.”

Doc groaned over what Ben had related and shook his head.  “Let me examine the boy – you and Bill just step aside for a minute,” He announced as he went right to his examination of the young man who he had, almost seventeen years ago, brought into the world.”

With bated breath, Ben watched every single motion that Doctor Martin made.  He had lifted the boy’s eyelids, just as Bill had done across the hall earlier.  Paul had listened to Joe’s heart after placing his stethoscope in his ears.  He checked the pulse in both Joe’s right and left wrists and felt his forehead as well.  Finally, Doc turned towards Ben and drew in a deep breath before giving his assessment of the boy’s condition.

“It has to be something that Little Joe has either eaten or drank, Ben.  There’s nothing else I can think of that could put him out like this.  He’s not running a fever – and he’s not had any kind of a fall, right?”

“No – that woman – she said specifically that she sent Joseph to see Marie, Paul,” Ben replied filled with a kind of rage that was hard for him to contain.

“This boy’s pulse is very rapid, and his pupils are dilated quite a bit.  If Joe has been poisoned, then we need to find out what was given to him — because there’s no way to tell otherwise.”

“I’ll shake it out of her if I have to!” Ben fumed loudly.

“Ben – you just simmer down now,” Paul paused and shot a glance over to Bill.  “Why don’t you go and fetch Roy Coffee over here, Bill?  Tell him what’s happened and then take him over to talk to the woman.  Hopefully he’ll be able to find out what she gave to Joe if he puts enough pressure on her.”

Bill looked over at Ben.  He could read the intense anger which was spreading across his face.  “It won’t take me long – I’ll report back once Roy’s here.”

“Thank you,” Ben nodded towards the man who then turned and hurriedly walked out of the room.  He drew closer to the bed and ran his hand down one side of his son’s face, still calling out Joe’s name.

“Ben – we’ll figure this out – no need to jump to conclusions right now,” Paul tried his best to set his friend at ease though he knew that was an impossible task now.  He knew how much Ben Cartwright loved all three of his boys and the man had a weak spot in his heart when it came to his youngest.  At almost seventeen- years-old the boy had already dealt with numerous life-threatening illnesses and injuries and Paul presumed that fact had only made Joseph that much more precious in his father’s eyes.

“I need to send word to Adam and Hoss,” Ben sighed as he took a seat next to his son on the bed.

“I’ll handle that for you, Ben,” Paul nodded and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Is there anything we can do for the boy while we wait, Paul?”

Doc didn’t want to offer Ben false hope, and he also didn’t want to increase the man’s worry, he had enough on his plate at that moment.  “All we can do is pray, Ben – and hope that Roy can get somewhere with the woman who did this to the boy.  If it was some kind of poison – well – there are a few things that we can try.  I can’t induce vomiting because whatever Little Joe took has been in his system far too long.  But if we can find out the name of what was used, I might find some kind of an antidote for it.”

“Oh, Joseph,” Ben whispered as he brushed a hand through the boy’s hair and fought back his tears.

“I won’t be gone long, let me go ahead and send word to your other boys – then I’ll be right back,” Paul patted Ben’s back and turned out of the room.

*********

By early that evening the situation was still unresolved.  Though Roy Coffee had interrogated Azelie Bertrand for more than an hour she refused to admit to what she had given to Little Joe.  Roy just couldn’t bring himself to jailing a ninety-year-old woman, but he did tell her that she was under house arrest until she cooperated with him and told him what she had given to the boy.  He had then walked across the hall to tell Ben Cartwright exactly what had been said and to try to find out how Joe was doing.

“Here, Pa – Bill sent this up for you,” Hoss said handing his father a cup of coffee.

Standing from the chair next to the bed, Ben accepted the cup without a reply. He had both Adam and Hoss there at his side and that fact had helped some, however Little Joe hadn’t budged an inch and his heart seized up in fear over the boy’s condition.

“Sorry it took me so long,” Roy called across the room as he joined the three Cartwrights and Doc Martin who surrounded the bed where Little Joe lay unconscious.

“Well?  What did she say?” Ben asked, setting down his coffee cup on the nightstand and staring over at the sheriff.

Frowning, Roy shook his head, “I’m sorry, Ben – I couldn’t get her to crack no matter what I threatened her with.  I guess when you’re ninety you don’t have to worry about a long prison sentence.”

“I can get her to talk!” Hoss called over to the sheriff, an appearance of rage taking over his usually calm demeanor.

“Simmer down, Hoss – I know you’re worried – but it won’t help getting yourself in trouble,” Roy responded and placed a hand on the big man’s arm hoping to calm him.

“Her grandson hasn’t gotten back from Carson yet?” Ben asked as he approached Roy.

Shaking his head he replied, “Not yet, Ben – but I expect he should be here soon.  Maybe he can talk some sense into his grandmother, and we’ll soon know what she gave the kid?”   Roy walked closer to the bed and stared down at Little Joe.  “He still hasn’t come around?”

Doc turned and looked over at the sheriff, his facial expression very grim.  “No –Roy whatever she gave this boy has put him into a coma.  Unless we can ascertain what it was – I don’t know if Joe will —” He paused and shot a quick glance around the room where everyone’s eyes stared apprehensively over at him.  He knew exactly what they were thinking and he had to re-word his statement.  The Cartwrights were worried enough already and they didn’t need to be told what Joe’s chances of survival were; it was too soon to offer up the odds just yet.

“Are you saying that Little Joe won’t pull through?” Adam was the only one who asked what everyone else was thinking at that moment.

“I can’t answer that, Adam,” Paul said and sighed wearily.  “There’s always a chance that your brother could overcome whatever he ingested – but there’s just no way for me to know.”

Ben walked towards the door and Roy followed closely behind him, finally grabbing the man’s arm.  “Now just where are you going?”

“I’m going to have a talk with her right now!” Ben insisted hotly.  He had had enough waiting and worrying and decided that he’d get the answers from Azelie or die trying.

“No—Ben — just wait until her grandson gets here,” Roy pleaded with the man.  He could read the hatred in Ben’s eyes and couldn’t blame him for feeling that way.  His youngest son’s life hung in the balances, and he knew that Ben wasn’t the kind of man who could just stand idly by and do nothing.

“I’ll not let Joseph die while we wait for Charles Bertrand to get here!” Ben yelled as he pointed over to where his son lay unconscious.

Bill Gentry appeared in the suite and hurried into the bedroom where everyone was gathered.  “Mister Bertrand just got here, Roy!”

“Let me handle this, Ben – I promise that if I can’t make any headway I’ll come fetch you,” Roy said staring up into his old friend’s eyes.

“Let him do it, Ben,” Paul called over calmly, hoping that he could get through to the man.  “You come over here and do what you do best—fuss over this boy some!”

Hesitating as he drew in a deep breath, he fought his desire to go across the hall and confront Charles.  Ben finally acquiesced and turned around.  He slowly crossed the room and settled down onto the bed.  Sweeping a hand across Little Joe’s forehead he began to speak to the boy just as he had all afternoon.  “Come back to us, Joseph – please find your way back.”

Hoss and Adam gathered around the bed and each of them placed a hand onto their father’s shoulder encircling him with their support and love.  It was at such times that it occurred to Doctor Martin just how much the Cartwright family drew strength and courage from each other.  He bowed his head and sent off another prayer.  As a doctor Paul knew that there was only so much that medical intervention could do and then it was time to turn it all over to a much higher power.

***********

*** Little Joe tried to clear his vision but no matter how many times he rubbed his eyes the results were the same.  All that he could see was a strange ethereal mist which engulfed him and he couldn’t cut through it with his hands though he had tried repeatedly.  The absence of sound was deafening as he moved and the otherworldly fog moved right along with him.  “I guess I’m dead,” Joe thought to himself and wondered what would happen next.  “It doesn’t look like any kind of heaven to me – I mean where are the angels and the throne of God?  Maybe I’ve been sent to purgatory?  I guess that’s got to be better than the alternative – especially after all the lies that I’ve told in my life. And I have sort of cheated at checkers – guess that’s another sin I’ve got against me too?  Still – I wonder how long I’ve got to be here until someone shows up?”   Little Joe’s musing stopped when he suddenly felt himself falling and he closed his eyes filled with a panic he’d never experienced before.  When he opened them back up, he was in a place of utter darkness.  “I think I know where I am now – and it’s not a good thing,” he told himself as he blinked hard, hoping to clear his vision once more.  Far in the distance there was an almost imperceptible round light giving him just a little bit of hope for his escape.  With each step that he took towards the soft glow his footsteps echoed leaving him with a hopelessness he’d never experienced before.  Little Joe felt alone for the first time and the emptiness permeated his soul.  He longed to see his pa and he missed his brothers.  He wondered what he had done which had been so terrible that he had ended up in such a horrible place where only darkness surrounded him.  But, that small light far in the distance gave him just a glimmer of hope which made him pick up his pace trying to get to it.  “Joseph!  Joseph, come back!” he turned toward the sound only to have it fade away.  He had recognized Pa’s voice, but he couldn’t determine which direction it had come from.  “Pa?  Pa where are you?”  There was no reply, only stillness, the darkness and that tiny light in the distance. ***

***********

“Joseph – Joseph come back to me,” Ben whispered as he softly stroked his son’s face hoping for a sign that he was coming back around.  But the boy hadn’t moved all that afternoon and now it was the middle of the night.

“Come on, Pa – you’ve just got to get some rest,” Adam coaxed as he approached the bed where his father sat next to his little brother.

“You and Hoss go into that other bedroom and get some sleep.  I’ll call you if I get tired,” He replied, his voice growing weak from having tried to talk to Joe all night long.

Hoss neared his family and tried to get through to his father as well, “Pa, Adam’s right.  You’ve been at this a lot longer than we have — you’re not going to be any good in the morning – when hopefully Little Joe will be awake and asking for you.”

Easing himself down from the bed, Ben moved to the nightstand where Bill Gentry had sent up another pot of coffee for the three men.  He poured a cup and offered some to his boys who both waved it away.

“It’s all my fault,” he muttered after taking a couple sips of his coffee.  “I never should have talked your brother into meeting those two.”

“Now that just ain’t so,” Hoss protested placing a hand onto his father’s shoulder.  “You didn’t have no way of knowing what that woman was up to, Pa!”

“What have I done?” Ben asked mournfully, shaking his head sadly as he stared over at the comatose boy in the bed.  He had to fight back tears thinking about the fact that there was a good chance that he was going to lose his youngest.  Ben couldn’t bear the thought of it, and wondered how he could ever go on with his life without Little Joe.

“You heard what Doc said before he left, Pa.  He said that Joe could come out of this on his own – and not to lose hope,” Adam offered, trying his best to sound optimistic.

“But you heard what Roy said too, Adam.  Charles Bertrand tried to talk some sense into his grandmother and didn’t get anywhere.  She just refuses to tell anyone what she gave your little brother!  He showed Roy those chocolates but there’s no way to know what she might have put in them.  It could be just about anything according to Doc Martin.”

“Oh, you know Little Joe – he’s tough – we don’t give him enough credit, Pa.  I bet he’ll come around and wonder why there’s three people standing here gawking at him,” Hoss tried again to put his father at ease, though it was an insurmountable task.

Ben drew in a deep breath and held it for a minute weighing what he should do next.  Finally exhaling he looked back and forth between his two sons and said, “Listen, I know what you both are trying to do – and I appreciate it.  But if you want to help me, you’ll both go and get some rest – I’ll need you more tomorrow than I do right now.  I’ll just sit in this chair and if I nod off — well – at least I’ll be close enough to the boy to hear him if he does come around.  Now go on – get some shuteye!”

Hoss slung one of his massive arms around his pa’s shoulder and gave him a slight squeeze.  “Okay, Pa – if that’s how you want it – but you come and get us if you play out or if Little Joe makes a move, okay?”

“I will, Son – thanks,” he nodded.

“Joe will make it,” Adam whispered and turned out of the room along with his brother.

Ben watched his two older boys leave the room and stared down at Little Joe again.  He wiped away the tears which he had held at bay while Adam and Hoss had tried to talk sense into him, but they had begun to leave his eyes the moment that they had turned their backs and walked away.  Ben went to his knees there at the bedside and folded his hands in front of him, leaning onto the bed next to where his boy was fighting to stay alive.

“Dear Lord, I’m asking you – no — I’m begging you — please let Joseph live.  He’s just a boy – and I need him.  I don’t know why any of this happened – but you know all things.  If it’s YOUR will – please bring my boy back to me.  Amen,” he finished his prayer and then pulled himself to standing.  Ben couldn’t get the verse out of his head; he remembered it so well and had repeated it many times through so many trials of his life and having lost so many people who he had loved, including the mother of the boy who was lying there in a coma.  He whispered, “and having done all – to stand.”   “We’ll keep the faith, right, Joseph?  Just like I’ve always told you.  It’s the trials in life that strengthen us,” He whispered as he sat on the side of the bed and combed his fingers through the boy’s curls.  “It’s time you woke up, Boy – and you could use a haircut.  I’m going to take you for one just as soon as you’re up and around,” He paused and had to swipe away the tears which had started up again.  “Fight, Joseph– fight with all that you have inside — come back to me – I need you –I love you!”

***********

*** Little Joe felt as though he had walked hundreds of miles still heading in the direction of that small light that seemed to move farther away from him no matter what he did.  He felt an overwhelming sadness that wouldn’t let go of his heart and he was beginning to think that he was truly in Hell though it didn’t look like what he had envisioned in his youth.  Joe was getting ready to quit and simply sit down and let the black void cover him when he heard the sound.  This time, unlike before, it wasn’t his father’s voice calling out to him.  There was the soft voice of a woman, one with a slight French accent and it repeated the same three words, mon petit garcon.  “Who are you?” Joe called out, hoping that he’d get a reply.  He waited to hear it again, but the voice was gone.  He stared at the light that was still in the distance and picked up his pace once again. ***

************

“Mister Ben?” The quiet call shook Ben from his slumber and he looked up at Hop Sing.  He had fallen asleep in the chair next to the bed and instantly stood and dropped a hand down onto Little Joe’s forehead and studied his face.  The boy was still unresponsive. He rubbed at his eyes with his palms to clear his vision and then turned to look at his old friend.

“Hop Sing—when did you get here?”

“I just come – bring buckboard,” he said and offered the man a smile knowing how worried he was.  “How our boy?” Hop Sing asked as he placed a hand onto Little Joe’s arm.

Ben sighed and just shook his head sadly.

“I bring food – I bring clothes.  Mister Hoss and Mister Adam changing into them now.  Here,” he said and handed his boss a small satchel.

“I really shouldn’t leave Joseph,” Ben insisted.

“You go – Hop Sing take care of our boy!”

If he hadn’t been so worried he would have smiled over the way Hop Sing had called Little Joe “our boy” but Ben couldn’t manage it.   He didn’t want to leave the boy but decided that if he didn’t the cook would only grow more insistent and Ben didn’t need the commotion that early in the day.

“Fine – I’ll go wash up a bit and be right back,” He agreed and accepted the bag Hop Sing offered.

“Have brought food – it in next room.  You eat with boys then you come back.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Ben protested.

“Eat, Mister Ben, do for Little Joe – he worry if you don’t.”

Ben shook his head over the cook’s logic, but he was much too tired to put up a fuss.  He simply patted the man’s shoulder and turned out of the room.  Casting a quick glance back over to his son before closing the door, Ben noticed Hop Sing washing the boy’s face and getting ready to put a fresh nightshirt on him.  The man had helped him raise the normally rambunctious boy and he knew how much Hop Sing loved him; Joseph was in good hands.

************

“Pa – you look a little better,” Hoss commented after his father had used the other bedroom to wash up and change his clothes.  “We looked in on you earlier, but you were asleep and we didn’t want to wake you.”

“Yes, Son – I suppose I passed out a little after four this morning,” Ben nodded and sat down on the sofa in the parlor of the suite.  He reached for one of the sandwiches that the cook had brought along with him and though he wasn’t hungry he forced himself to eat.

Adam walked into the suite and joined both Hoss and his father.  “I saw Doc a few minutes ago and he said he’d be by in just a bit, Pa.”

Ben nodded and handed his eldest one of the sandwiches from the basket on the table.

“Thanks,” he nodded and began eating.  He wanted to ask about Little Joe but presumed Pa would’ve said something if there had been a change in the boy’s condition.

A knock sounded on the door and Hoss walked over to answer it.  Charles Bertrand stood there in the hallway.

“Might I have a word with Ben Cartwright please?”

Ben had heard the voice and stood from the sofa and approached the door.  “Charles,” he said and simply nodded.

“Ben – I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now—but may I have a word with you please?”

Shooting both of his son’s a warning look Ben waved the man inside the suite.

“These are my sons Adam and Hoss,” He motioned towards each of his boys and they tried not to show their utter disgust as they nodded to the man whose grandmother had caused the whole terrible ordeal.

“I wish we had met under pleasant circumstances,” Charles said contritely.  “I’ve come hoping to see Joseph.  I am so deeply saddened by what has happened, Ben.”

Hoss couldn’t hide his disdain and returned, “Then if you’re all tore up about it how about getting your grandmother to tell us what she did to my little brother?”

“Hoss,” Ben interjected.  “It’s not Charles’ fault that this has happened.”

Hoss stared down at the floor and tried to regain his composure.  “I’m sorry.”

“I understand – I understand how you all must be feeling right now.  I have spoken to my Mamie – all night until she went to sleep in fact.  But I couldn’t get her to tell me what happened while I was gone.  I’ve gone through all her belongings and didn’t find anything other than those chocolates which I showed to your sheriff.  If there was anything I could do I assure you I would do it.  My grandmother is not well but she’s never done anything like this before.  If I had suspected she had intended to harm Joseph in any way I would have stopped her.  Ever since I was young, she has spoken about her love for Marie Del Vie – I can’t imagine her hurting her son like this.”

“She still won’t tell you why she did this?” Ben asked fighting his anger over the dreadful situation.

“Mamie only keeps telling me that Marie wanted her son to be with her.  I don’t know what possessed her to act on that thought.  May I see the boy, Ben?”

Drawing in a deep breath Ben fought to remain cordial but it was eating at his insides.  He kept hearing another verse in his head. *** The merciful shall obtain mercy *** He thought to himself as he stared towards the bedroom.  “Just for a minute,” Ben nodded to Charles and the two men walked across the room leaving both Hoss and Adam shaking their heads over the way their father could show such concern for the man who had brought Azelie Bertrand into their lives.

Charles drew close to the bed and stared down at the lifeless figure lying there.  He set a hand down onto the boy’s arm and whispered, “May God heal you, Joseph.”

“Thank you,” Ben whispered and fought his tears over the sight of his boy.

“I won’t trouble you anymore now, Ben.  I promise you that I’ll keep trying to get Mamie to tell me what she gave Joseph.  If I find out anything I’ll come right over here.”

Ben nodded as the man turned and walked out of the room.

“Who that, Mister Ben?”

“The grandson of the woman who did this to the boy,” Ben replied and moved over to the chair by the bed.  “You go on out and sit with Adam and Hoss – I’ve got this now, Hop Sing.  Thank you for the fresh clothes and the food.”

“Little Joe strong boy—you see – he come back,” He offered his words of encouragement and then patted the boy’s head softly.  “Hop Sing want you wake up, Little Joe – you listen to Hop Sing,” He whispered and wiped away a few tears as he hurried out of the room.

***********

*** Little Joe had no idea how long he had been walking through the black void heading to the light which always eluded him but at last it grew bigger and in the blink of an eye there was a flash and suddenly he was staring at a woman standing there bathed in the same light that he had sought for what seemed like an eternity.  “Mon petit garcon, my Joseph,” she said smiling.  “Who – who are –” Joe stopped when he realized he knew who the woman was.  “Ma?” He asked, his voice echoing in his ears.  Marie laughed and nodded over to her son.  “Joseph, you are so tall now.”  “Ma – I – I can’t believe it.  I guess I’m dead, right?”  “No, my darling boy, you aren’t dead – merely visiting right now,” She assured him.  “I tried to find you – to see you – but I couldn’t.  Azie kept telling me that I would if I tried hard enough.”  “Joseph, you didn’t have to look for me – I’ve always been in between each of your heartbeats.”  “I’m so sorry, Ma—I forgot – forgot everything about you,” Joe apologized still taking in the vision of his mother, so elated that he had found her.  Marie wanted to pull the boy to her, but she couldn’t but she could speak to him to put him at ease.  “My son, you didn’t forget – all our memories are hidden in your heart.  You couldn’t remember because you knew that it would hurt too much.  But it’s alright to remember, Joseph.”  “Can I stay with you?”  “Perhaps for a little while,” she nodded.  “Now close your eyes and I will make you remember our times together.  That will keep you with me always.”  Little Joe smiled and attempted to hold onto his mother, but she backed away.  “No, Joseph, just close your eyes and we will be together in the memories, but you can’t come closer or you will have to stay forever.”  “I don’t understand, why?”  “Just close your eyes, mon petit garcon.”   Joe did as his mother had said and soon he was seeing in his mind each day he had spent with her. ***

*************

“Doc, it’s been almost three days now and the boy hasn’t moved a muscle or made a sound.  Is he going to die?” Adam asked in the parlor of the suite but out of the earshot of his father.

Paul shook his head grimly and replied, “I don’t know, Adam, but it’s not looking good.  I’ve only gotten a few eyedroppers of water down Little Joe’s throat and that’s not much.  There really isn’t anything more that I can do for your brother.  I’ve tried every trick that I know.   I even wafted smelling salts under Joe’s nose, but he didn’t flinch or cough.  Right now, I’m worried about your father too.  The man has only gotten a couple of hours of sleep in three days.  I’ve tried to talk to him about taking a nap, but he refuses to leave Joe’s side.”

Adam frowned and nodded his head, “I know, both Hoss and I tried to make him go down last night and he got angry.”

“Go and bring Hoss in here, I need to talk to both of you,” Doc instructed urgently.

Walking into the bedroom Adam noticed Pa sitting next to Joe and Hoss standing just to his right.  Adam waved his brother over and Hoss turned from the bed and approached him.

“Doc wants you to come out into the parlor,” He whispered and the two of them joined Paul in the next room.

“Hoss, I know you’re not going to like this – but we need your father to get some sleep before he falls out.  I’ve talked to him, but he won’t listen to me.  I need to sedate him, and I know he’s going to balk at the idea.  So, I need you to help me.”

“What do you have in mind?” Hoss asked warily.  He had some idea, but he hoped that he was wrong in his assumption.

“He’s in that chair and I’m going to draw up something to put him out for a few hours – so I need you to restrain your pa in case there’s an argument – and knowing Ben there will be one!”

“Sorry that you’re the strongest of us now, aren’t you?” Adam asked his brother.

“Yeah,” Hoss nodded and then drew in a deep breath.  “I don’t like this none – but if it’s to help Pa, I’ll do it.  Let’s get this over with,” He sighed and walked into the bedroom with Paul.

Ben had moved from the chair and was back up on the bed trying to place a few drops of water on Little Joe’s tongue totally oblivious to Paul drawing up the sedative in the syringe at the time.  Before he could protest Ben felt Hoss’ hands holding his shoulders as Paul plunged the needle into the fold of his right elbow.

“What have you done!” Ben sang out angrily staring at both men.

“You gotta get some sleep, Pa,” Hoss replied, his face showing the strain of what he had just done.

“Don’t you go blaming Hoss, Ben, I put him up to it.  Now he’s gonna take you to that nice comfortable sofa in the parlor and you’re going to get a few hours of sleep.  I won’t leave Little Joe’s side.  Now go before you pass out cold,” Doc insisted and watched as Hoss’ hands steadied his father as he came off the bed.

“I need to be with my boy!” Ben shouted, his worry making him fight off his son’s attempt to move him into the next room.

“I’ll help,” Adam offered and got on one side of his father while Hoss held onto the other as they eased him into the next room.  By the time they had placed Ben onto the sofa he was fast asleep.  Hoss reached for the extra blanket at the end of the sofa and covered his father.

“I hated like heck to do that,” Hoss sighed as he looked up at Adam.

“It’s okay, you did good, Brother,” Adam insisted and sat down in the chair next to his father.  “We’ll take turns spelling Doc; you go take the first watch.”

Nodding, Hoss walked back into the bedroom to keep watch on Little Joe.  As Doc fell asleep in the chair Hoss stood over the bed and prayed that Little Joe would come back to them all.  He pushed aside the boy’s fallen bangs just as Pa would’ve done had he been there at the time.

***Falling into a deep and disturbing sleep Ben had no idea how much time had passed since he began his journey.  He looked around and all that he could see was a black void which surrounded him.  It took him a good long while before his eyes became acclimated enough that he could see the faraway light in the distance and he began to walk towards it.  Hearing a woman’s voice, he stopped dead in his tracks because he knew who it was.  “Marie?  Marie where are you?” He shouted but only heard laughter in response.  “Marie?  Is that you?”  “Over here, Ben, I’m here,” she sang out.  Ben began running toward the glow of the light at the end of the tunnel, but he never could reach it, it just kept moving farther away.  It was then that he spun around and spotted another light behind him.  “Marie?  Can you see me?” he turned and called out once more.  “It’s behind you, Ben,” She replied and he looked at the smaller light in the opposite direction from where the voice had called out to him.   It was at that moment that he realized he was looking at the departing form of Little Joe.  “Joseph?  Joseph, over here!” He shouted but the boy kept walking away, acting as though he never heard his father’s voice calling to him.  “Marie – Marie I can’t get to him!” Ben shouted.  Marie suddenly stood in front of her husband, her smile just as lovely as he had remembered.  “Ben – Ben, I have missed you so.”  “My Marie,” Ben whispered and reached for his wife taking her into his arms.  “I’ve missed you so, Marie my love,” Ben choked out as he swept a hand through the woman’s hair.  “I have always been with you – can’t you see it when you look at our son, Ben?”  “Joseph—Marie – something’s happened to Joseph.”  “I know,” She nodded as she pulled back from his arms.  “I need to get a message to Azie, Ben, it’s important – I can’t stay long.  You tell her this – tell her I said to bring back my little boy.  I want him with you, Ben.  Tell her it in French.”  “In French?” Ben asked, not understanding what she was asking him to do.  “Yes, Ben, tell Azie that I said I want her to give you back mon petit garcon.  She will know.”  “I miss you so, Marie,” He whispered and tried to pull his wife back into his arms but there seemed to be an invisible barrier which separated them now.  “I have always been with you, Ben, in our son.  And someday we will be together for all eternity.  Now return and tell Azie what I’ve said.  I love you.” Before Ben could say another word, the woman had vanished.  Ben looked down through the tunnel and saw his son walking toward the light.  “Joseph!” He yelled hoping that the boy would turn around.  “Joseph!  Don’t go that way, come over here, Son!  Follow my voice – I need you – don’t go that way!”  Unable to stop the boy or make him turn towards him, Ben cried out again.  “Joseph!” ***

“He’s been tossing and turning the whole time, Hoss,” Adam said as the two of them looked down at their father who was asleep on the sofa where he had been most of the night.

“Little Joe still hasn’t moved an inch,” Hoss sighed and took the seat that Adam had vacated.

Dropping a hand down onto his brother’s shoulder he replied, “Just keep an eye on Pa and I’ll go sit with Doc and the kid.”  Adam walked into the next room to sit by his brother and pray for him to return to them all.

************

*** “Did you hear him, Joseph?  That was your father,” Marie smiled at her son.  “It was so faint I couldn’t make out what Pa said.”  “He wants you to go back to him, Joseph.”  “Can’t I stay?”  Joe asked, not ready to leave his mother.  “Perhaps just a little while longer, my precious boy, but then you must return to him.”  “I don’t want to leave you.”  “We have our memories, Joseph, they will keep us until we can be together for eternity.  Now close your eyes and we will relive a few more before you must return to your father.” ***

“Joseph!” Ben shouted as he bolted up on the sofa.

“Pa—it’s okay – he’s still with us,” Hoss tried to calm his father, worried about the way he had awakened.

Ben stared around the room attempting to get his bearings after his disturbing dream.  “I – I need to go and talk to Azelie!” He insisted and stood.

“Pa – it’s only six in the morning,” Hoss moved over to his father and tried to calm him.

“I don’t give a hoot what time it is.  I’ve got something to say to her!” Ben shouted and hurried to the door.  He flung it open and jogged across the hall.  Pounding on the door, Ben shouted for Charles.

“Ben?” Charles called as he groggily opened the door and looked up at the other man.  “Is it Joseph?  Has he come around?”

“I need to speak to Azelie!” Ben insisted and didn’t wait for an invitation, he just hurried into the parlor and crossed to the woman’s bedroom.  He knocked loudly until she opened her door.

“What do you want?”

“I’ve seen Marie,” Ben called down to the woman.  “My wife had a message for you – and you’d better listen to it right now!”

“Marie?  How did you see Marie?” she asked in disbelief.

“Never mind how – it’s of no importance.  Marie said these words and she insisted that I say them exactly this way.  Azie, you must give back mon petit garcon.  Now that’s what she said — so whatever you know you’d better tell me now!”

Azelie held her hand to her chest as Ben spoke those words.  She read the sincerity and the anger on the man’s face and could tell that he meant everything that he had conveyed to her.  “I believed that Marie wanted Joseph with her,” She began but Ben cut her off.

“Joseph belongs with me!  Marie wants it that way and so do I!  Now what did you give my boy?”

“Some herbs – just some that I grew in my garden,” she said and walked to the bureau in her room where she had placed the small tin that contained what she had put in Joe’s tea and in the chocolates.  She brought the container back to the doorway and handed it to Ben.

Studying the dried herbs Ben stared down at the woman and said, “This doesn’t help.  What is it that knocked Joseph out cold?”

“Nightshade – it was nightshade,” Azelie confessed and dropped her head down.  “I only wanted to give the boy back to my Marie.”

Ben drew in a deep breath and turned around to see Charles standing there.  He couldn’t waste time berating the woman for what she had done; there wasn’t any time to spare if he was going to get the information to Paul and try to save his son.  Ben hurried out of the suite and across the hall.

“It’s nightshade, Paul!” Ben sang out full of both anger and fear.

“Nightshade?” Doc asked as he stood from his chair and neared the anxious father.

“Is there an antidote – I’ve heard that nightshade is poisonous.  Can you do anything, Paul?”

Doc thought for just a minute and then nodded.  “I think so – I read something about nightshade poisoning not long ago.  Let me get to my office – and then to the apothecary.  I’m probably going to have to make a tincture.  I’ll be back just as quickly as I can,” He returned and hurried out of the room.

Adam and Hoss exchanged hopeful glances and neared their father.

“We have a chance now,” Ben nodded to his sons as tears stung his eyes.  He moved over to where Little Joe was still lying motionless.  Settling down next to his youngest, Ben whispered as he softly combed his fingers through the boy’s curly hair, “Hang on for just a little while longer, Joseph.  It’s going to be alright.”

************

Ben had waited and worried and prayed for the whole three hours that Paul had been gone.  Joseph had gone three straight days without any nourishment other than a few droppers of water, and most of that had dribbled out of his mouth.  The boy looked so gaunt that it terrified him every time he looked at Joe.  But when Doc came hurrying into the bedroom Ben’s heart leapt and it felt as though it was now lodged securely in his throat.  He stood from the bed as Paul made his way around to the nightstand and set down his medical bag.  He held in his hand a small brown bottle with a dropper.

“In layman’s terms this is eserine, of course there’s a long technical name for it but that’s not important.  I was able to get what I needed at the apothecary and then I diluted it enough so we can drop it into Little Joe’s eyes and place some on his tongue.  Give me some room, Ben,” Doc said and watched as the worried father moved to the side and his two older boys flanked him.  Shaking the bottle a few times, Paul pulled some of the liquid up into the dropper and then one by one placed several drops in each eye.  “Hold his mouth open for me, Ben.”

Pa walked to the other side of the bed and reached over and dropped his son’s jaw as Paul pried the boy’s lips apart.  He placed several drops on Little Joe’s tongue and then turned to stare at Ben.  “It may take a few times, so we’ll just keep at it.  Let’s give it about ten minutes and see if he responds.”

Leaning across the bed, Ben began to call his son as he had so many times in the past three days.  “Joseph—come on back – I need you.  Open those eyes – you’re needed here.  Now come back.”

************

*** “That’s your pa again, you need to get ready to leave, Joseph.”  “But – I’m not ready to leave you, Ma.  I just started remembering you.”  “Joseph, I told you that I’m always with you.  And you will always be mon petit garcon.  But your father needs you now.”  “I hope that I’ll remember all the memories that you’ve shown me when I get back – I love you.”  “Mon petit garcon, our memories exist right behind our hearts keep them safe there, just remember that I love you always – always.”  Little Joe watched as his mother turned back into a soft glowing light and drifted away until she vanished leaving him standing in the dark void once more. ***

***********

“Let’s try it again,” Paul sighed.  He had given the boy three rounds of the medicine with no effect at all, and he was starting to believe that Little Joe wouldn’t respond, which meant he wasn’t going to live much longer.  He dreaded telling Ben Cartwright that because he knew it would kill him, if not physically then emotionally.

Ben and his two oldest boys watched again as the doctor placed the drops in Little Joe’s eyes and on his tongue.  All three of them bowed their heads and prayed.

“Ben, come here and call to him again,” Doc insisted.  He had tried everything that he could and there wasn’t anything else to be done for the boy.

Sitting down on the bed next to his son, Ben swiped a hand across his forehead and tried again.  “Joseph, please come back – I need you.  Just open those eyes – please!”

A soft almost imperceptible sound came through the dry lips of the boy on the bed.  It had been so quiet that only Ben, who was right next to him, had heard it.

“Joseph?” He whispered and grabbed the boy’s hand into his.

“Monnn —- monnn,” Joe’s voice was so faint and so hoarse that his father couldn’t figure out what he was saying.

“Joseph?” He called again and shot a look around the room at the other three men.

“Monnn – monnn,” Little Joe continued.

“That’s it, Son, come on back – keep trying.”

“Monnnn –monnn – petit–”

Ben stared at his son, shocked at what he was hearing coming out in little more than a whisper.

“Monnn — monnn – mon petit — mon petit — garcon,” Joe finally got the phrase out as his eyelids began to flutter open.

Ben bit at his bottom lip as tears began to fall from his eyes.  He had heard Joe saying the exact same words that Marie had said to him in the dream, which had persuaded Azelie to tell them what she had given Joseph and that information had saved his life.

“Joseph?” Ben continued to coax the boy.  “Open those eyes now.”

“Monnn – monnn petit – garcon,” He stuttered and then his eyelids opened and stayed that way.

“Joseph!” Ben cried and pulled the boy into his arms and held him tightly to his chest.

Hoss, Adam and Doc Martin all exchanged joyful smiles seeing that the boy was finally conscious.

“Pa?  Pa – I saw my mother – and – and,” He stopped because his throat was so tight and dry.

Adam had heard his brother’s difficulty and hurriedly poured a glass of water and handed it to his Pa.

“Drink this slowly, Boy,” Ben urged as he helped raise the glass to Joe’s lips because he was extremely weak from three days without anything to eat or drink.  He watched as Little Joe was able to take a couple of good long sips before he stopped and waved the glass away.  Ben handed the glass back to Adam.

“My Ma – she was there — she kept telling me—monnn – mon petit – mon petit garcon,” Joe explained staring into his father’s eyes which were still filled with tears.

Ben nodded and smiled knowingly at his son.  “I’m sure that you saw her, Joseph.  I’m just so glad that she sent you back to me.”

“She just kept saying it – those were the words I kept hearing in my dreams before all of this happened.  Pa?  Do you know what it means? Mon petit garcon?” He asked hoping that his father would have the answer that he needed.

“Yes, Son,” Ben nodded and pulled Joseph back into his arms, kissing his forehead as he whispered, “It means my little boy.”

“It’s about time you woke up, Young Man,” Doc scolded as he smiled broadly unable to maintain his stern demeanor.  “Now let’s get a look at those eyes of yours and let me listen to your heart.  That is – if you’ll get that father of yours to let go of you long enough for me to do that!”

Hoss and Adam laughed as they neared their little brother’s bed.

“Good luck with that, Doc!” Hoss called over to him grinning.

“Alright,” Ben surrendered as he settled his son back against the pillows and then stood from the bed.  “Go ahead, Paul.  Check him over good now.”

Little Joe smiled as he glanced over at his family and saw the relief in the eyes of everyone.  “I’m back,” He whispered and fell off to sleep.

Paul listened to the boy’s heart and checked his pupils.  He then stared over at Ben.  “He’s just sleeping, Ben – take that panicked look off your face.  His pulse has slowed to almost normal, and his eyes aren’t dilated anymore.  I’d say this boy is going to make yet another remarkable recovery.  Another one for the textbooks,” He announced with a relieved smile on his lips.

Hoss and Adam surrounded their father, and they knew what he was thinking.  The three men bowed their heads and gave thanks to God that Little Joe was back with them.  If they had looked up at the time, they might have noticed that Doctor Martin had bowed his head briefly as well.  He knew who the best healer was and it wasn’t a country doctor.

***********

Epilogue

Doctor Martin insisted that Little Joe remain there at the hotel for two days so he could keep a better eye on him and so the boy could get a bit stronger before taking the long drive back to the Ponderosa.  Each of the Cartwrights as well as Hop Sing took turns caring for him and there was never a minute when someone wasn’t keeping an eye on him.  Everyone knew how close they had come to losing Little Joe and they weren’t taking any chances now.

Roy Coffee had a long talk with both Ben and Charles to determine what should be done about Azelie.  Doctor Martin had examined her and afterwards he had advised Ben that the woman wasn’t long for the world, so he relented and refused to press any charges.  Charles promised to keep a good eye on her so she would never get her hands on any of the herbs which she had used on Little Joe.  The night before they left to go to San Francisco, Charles spoke with his grandmother.

“Mamie, you do know that you did wrong, do you not?” He asked as the woman was about to go to sleep.   He stood in her bedroom and looked down at her.

“I only wanted Marie to have what she lost.  She needed her boy.”

“Now you know that was wrong.  What are you keeping from me?  I can see it in your eyes.”

“It’s Joseph—and what fate lies ahead for him now that he’s chosen to remain in this life.  He would have been happily in the next world with Marie and not had to suffer more.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Three men – three men he will have to face because he remains here,” She nodded to her grandson a sorrowful look on her face.

“What men?”

“I only know what they will do, I do not know their names.”

“Mamie – are you imagining all of this?” Charles asked, disbelief coming out with his words.

“No – I see it – I saw it the first time that I looked in that boy’s eyes – just as I knew that Marie’s first marriage would end in tragedy like her last.  Three men from Marie’s past — one comes to steal the boy from his father; one comes to him to seek vengeance and the other is someone who means him well but will break his heart.”

“Don’t you think we should warn Ben Cartwright?  If this seems real to you then I could talk to him before he leaves tomorrow.”

“No – this is Joseph’s fate because he chose to return,” She insisted.  “We can’t change fate.  I only pray that the boy is strong enough and that if he is to remain in the world of the living that he will survive all of this.”

Charles drew in a deep breath unsure as to whether he should mention to Ben anything that his grandmother had told him.  He rationalized that if the predictions were true then there wasn’t much the man would be able to do to stop any of it from happening.  He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.  *** I will pray for you Joseph. *** he vowed and walked into the parlor.

***********

“Adam you and Hoss ride on ahead and let Hop Sing know that I’m bringing the boy home.  We’ll be there shortly, I’m going to take it easy because Joe’s still pretty weak,” Ben said as he stood next to the buckboard.  Adam held the reins of his and Hoss’ horses waiting for both of his brothers to come out of the hotel.

“Okay, Pa – I’ll let Hop Sing know to get the kid’s bed ready for him.”

“Put me down you nit wit!” Little Joe fussed as he was carried through the door of the hotel and down the steps.  “I can walk doggone you, Hoss!  I ain’t no invalid!”

Hoss laughed as he hefted his little brother onto the bench seat of the buckboard and called over to his father, “This kid might have been out of it for three whole days, but he’s still got one heck of a set of lungs on him, Pa!”

Ben chuckled and watched as Joe cast a scathing glare at Hoss.  “Your brother is just trying to be of help to you, Joseph.”

“Numbskull,” Joe muttered as Hoss mounted his horse.

“See you back home!” Hoss called over to them as he and Adam turned their mounts and headed back to the ranch.

Little Joe suddenly grew quiet and stared down at the footboard.  Ben noticed the change in his son’s demeanor, and he had an idea what was going on with the boy.  Joe always talked a good game, especially around his brothers but his pa knew when the boy was troubled.

“Joseph? What is it?”

“Pa – will you –” Joe cut himself off as he felt his father’s arm ease across his shoulder pulling him close to him.  Ben was so relieved to have his youngest sitting there next to him looking not too much worse for wear, though he had just survived a life and death struggle.

“I’ll take you there,” He whispered as he sent the team of horses forward with a slight tap of the reins.  Words weren’t needed; Pa just knew what Little Joe was asking simply by looking at his facial expression.

***********

The buckboard clamored up the narrowing path which led to a semi-circle of pines and a magnificent overlook of Lake Tahoe where Marie Cartwright had been laid to rest some twelve years ago.  Ben assisted his son out of the wagon, holding on to the boy’s arm to steady him.  He knew that Joseph was far too weak to be making the climb to his mother’s gravesite, but he was also aware that the boy needed to get some things off his chest.

“Now, tell me what it was all about, Joseph.  Tell me why you took what Azelie gave you.”

Little Joe looked down at his mother’s headstone and fought to tell his father the truth of what he had been up to before he had taken the almost lethal dose of nightshade.

“It all started because I couldn’t remember anything about my mother, Pa.  You and my brothers still had memories of her – and I’d hear all of you talking – but I didn’t have any.  I tried and tried but I never could bring any into my head and that’s why I stopped talking about her,” Joe began still fighting to get his story out so Pa would understand.

“Go on, Son,” Ben coaxed.

“Well — after I met Azie, she told me that she could help me remember – you know?  I wasn’t sure at first – but once I started having these really vivid dreams, I thought that maybe she could.”

“Did you know that she was giving you something that could kill you like that nightshade almost did, Joseph?”

“No, Sir – I didn’t know what she was doing. She gave me chocolates and tea – but I didn’t know that they had any stuff that could hurt me in them.  But I’d get really tired, you know? And when I’d come home, I started seeing things—like balls of light – and I’d get the worst headaches!”

Ben lifted his son’s chin to stare into the boy’s eyes.  “Why did you keep all of that from me?” He asked, extremely hurt by the thought that Joe had hid so many secrets from him.

Joe shrugged his shoulders helplessly and answered with desperation in his tone of voice, “Pa – I thought you’d make me stay away from her if you knew.  I just wanted to remember – just anything – just a memory of my Ma that I could hold on to.”

Ben shook his head sadly and exclaimed, “Joseph – I could have lost you!”

“I’m sorry, Pa, I didn’t know that she was giving me stuff that could kill me.  That last time – she just said that I’d get to see Ma if I took it and she was right – but it wasn’t something that I should’ve done,” he whispered and then broke away from his father and went down to his knees next to the headstone.

Tears fell from Little Joe’s eyes, and the sight almost broke his father’s heart.  He understood why Joseph had done what he had, but that didn’t make it the right thing to have done.

“They’re all gone now,” Joe choked out, facing away from his father.

“What’s gone, Son?” Ben called softly.

“The memories – I had them – while I was with her – but when I came back – I lost them, Pa.  All I have now are those words –” His voice broke and he closed his eyes trying to push back the tears.

Ben struggled to find something to say that would help heal his son’s broken heart.

Little Joe cried out, “Mon petit garcon.  That’s all that I have left of her now.”

Ben watched as his son dropped his head down into his hands finally giving in to his grief.  He went down to his knees next to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, Joseph,” He whispered.  “You can’t live your life reaching back for yesterday.  Let your mother’s spirit rest but hold on to the memory of the love that she had for you.  That’s all that really matters anyway – the love and it will always be there.  But she did leave you with a memory—the memory of what she always called you.”

“Mon petit garcon – is that what she used to call me?”

Ben nodded and offered the boy an understanding smile.  “That’s right – from the day you were born Marie called you that, Joseph.”

Little Joe pushed away bittersweet tears as he thought back to seeing his mother, though he couldn’t remember any of the memories that she had shared with him other than those three words.  He was now back in a reality where she could no longer call out to him or appear as she had while he was in his coma.  “Pa, I thought I heard your voice calling out to me when I was with Ma, and she told me to go to you.”

Ben vividly recalled the dream he had of Marie and what she had told him.  He also remembered seeing his son walking away and how he had pleaded with Joseph to turn around and come back to him.  “I told you about my dream – but I left out the fact that I did see you – when I was with your mother – and I kept calling your name, Son.  I didn’t want you to leave me.”

Joe stared at his father trying to comprehend everything that had happened to the two of them.  “Pa – do you think you were really there with me?”

Offering his son a patient smile he shrugged his shoulders.  “I don’t know, – but you’re here now and that’s all that really matters to me.  But there’s one thing I do know — there’s a future waiting for you, Joseph – and you can bring your mother’s love with you,” He insisted and lovingly ruffled the boy’s hair as he stood back up.

Wiping away his tears Joe reached over and touched Marie’s headstone.  He bowed his head and said a silent prayer.  When he opened his eyes, he noticed his father’s hand reaching down to help pull him to his feet.

“We both have that memory of your mother, Joseph – I saw her too.  Perhaps mine was a dream—I don’t know — but I saw her, nonetheless.  And she told me that she’s always with me — because I have you.”

Little Joe accepted his father’s hand, and Ben pulled him up.  “It’s going to be alright, Son.  Just hold on to the memory of the love your mother had for you and be content with that until you see her again.  Let’s go home, Joseph.”  Pa patted the boy’s back and then dropped an arm across Little Joe’s shoulder as they turned to walk away.

Joe briefly turned back to his mother’s grave for one last look.  Closing his eyes, he heard her voice so clearly.  ***Mon petit garcon *** He glanced up at his pa and nodded his head that he was going to be okay.  Ben stared down at the living reminder of Marie and smiled broadly.  They turned and walked back down the path together.

***A fool will lose tomorrow reaching back for yesterday.  I won’t turn my head in sorrow if you should go away.  I’ll stand here and remember just how good it’s been, and I know I’ll never love this way again. ***

The End

Written by Wrangler

4-22-2026

(Dedicated to my story consultant Rob who I couldn’t do without.  And to one of my dearest friends Dianne who passed away today, heaven has a new angel.)

Azelie’s predictions were about three men.  The first, who would try to steal Little Joe from Ben is Rene Marchant from “Always My Son”.  The second who was out for vengeance was Francois Balantaire, from the “Beautiful in My Eyes” series.  Lastly, the man who meant well but would break Little Joe’s heart is his half-brother Clay in the story, “In This Life.” *** these are all shameless plugs***

As for nightshade, it’s highly toxic and grows all over North America and yes, there was a drug called Eserine used in the 1800’s to combat nightshade poisoning.  As with everything, consult your own doctor and don’t take the word of a fanfiction writer.