No Place That Far (by Wrangler)

Summary: Little Joe hides the fact that he hurt his head in a fall, leaving everyone wondering why his behavior has changed. Upset by his actions, Joe leaves home forcing his family to find him before time runs out. Rating T, WC 34,347

No Place That Far

*I can’t imagine any greater fear than waking up without you here. And though the sun would still shine on, my whole world would all be gone. But not for long. If I had to run, if I had to crawl. If I had to swim a hundred rivers just to climb a thousand walls. Always know that I would find a way to get to where you are. There’s no place that far. * (Song, No Place That Far. Lyrics by Sara Evans.)

It was the worst headache I’d had in my life, and it just wouldn’t go away. But I should’ve figured out what was causing all that pain and why it hurt just to blink after the kind of fall I had taken. Of course, I didn’t bother to tell anyone the way that I had landed or the fact that the back of my skull had made a loud cracking sound when I hit that rock inside the breaking corral. I just decided to keep my mouth shut about it. That meant not mentioning it to Hoss, nor Adam and of course not my father! Pa would’ve railed on and on about the fact that I take too many risks. Then somehow the conversation would circle around to the fall that my mother had taken which ended her life and in some ways my pa’s too. So, I just kept my stupid mouth shut and shook the dust from my chaps. I even had them saddle the next bronc for me as I forced a conceited smile pretending that I knew what I was doing. I didn’t. In hindsight I wish I had said something to someone. I had so many chances later that night at the dinner table when just the smell of Hop Sing’s roast almost made me lose the little bit of water I had gotten down. I willed it all away but then the noise started. It was so subtle at first that I thought maybe Hop Sing had his tea kettle on the stove. That was before it grew louder. I stared back and forth between my father and brothers and wondered why they had to talk like they were shouting across a saloon full of rowdy cowhands. I didn’t know at the time that they were talking in their usual tone and that it was apparently all in my head. Pa kept asking me something, but I didn’t understand one word that he had said. I just nodded my head and hoped that was the right answer that he wanted from me. It was about at that time that the sickness I felt in the pit of my stomach grew worse. But I knew that if I jumped up and ran outside to puke that at least three or four people would be trailing right behind me and all of them wanting to know what was wrong. So, I held it all in. I just pushed the food around my plate but none of it ended up in my mouth. But that wasn’t anything new. My family was used to me not eating much, especially if I was tired. So that’s what I told them as I stood from the table and excused myself. I knew what was going to happen just as soon as everyone was done eating and I was right. Pa was up in my room asking a dozen questions and fussing over me. Of course, I appreciated his concern, but the tone of his voice seemed awfully loud. I couldn’t say anything about it, or he’d have looked at me even odder than he had done as he grew closer to the head of the bed.

“Joseph? You sure you’re alright?”

“Sure, Pa – just tired like I told you downstairs.”

Ben stared at his son and dropped a hand onto his shoulder to force his attention and to make Joe look his way.

“I don’t know – something about your face doesn’t look quite right to me.”

I was sitting back against the headboard purposely avoiding lying flat on my back in case I had to make a run for the basin. Pa just kept his position, hovering over me like he usually did. I used to think it was because I was his youngest, but I’ve learned in my seventeen years that he’d probably have acted that same way even if I wasn’t. I’m not complaining about it. I loved him for caring so much, especially that night, awful as I felt. But did he have to make so much noise?

“Lean back, I want to have a look at you,” Pa insisted unwilling to take no for an answer.

*** Oh, please God, don’t let him give me the once over! If he starts poking and prodding me, I know I’m going to throw up. Then the next thing I know I’ll be staring up at both Pa and Doc Martin! *** I thought and worried about what would happen if he forced me to lie flat on my back. I was barely holding onto the water I had drunk when I got up to my room. I just knew that I’d lose it if I was forced to move. On top of that my father’s voice just grew louder and if it weren’t for his concerned demeanor I’d have sworn he was about to threaten me. It had the same tone he always used when he suggested that the two of us needed to go to the barn. That’s how loud his voice seemed to me at the time.

“C’mon, Pa – I told you – I’m just tired.” I appreciated the fact that my Pa was worried about me and was being his usual overly protective self, but he was making everything worse in my humble opinion.

“Joseph,” Ben returned and gave the boy a slight push to make him do as he had been instructed.

Now this is where my story turns dark. Well, it was already dark, but this part is darker still. There’s no one in my life that I love more than my father. I would die for him; he means that much to me. So, that said – I don’t exactly know what happened next. Oh, I heard about it alright. Both Hoss and Adam went after me hard and we almost came to blows over it. I didn’t believe one word that either of them said to me that night. But then again, since everything from that point on was a hazy gray blur to me, there was a good chance that they weren’t lying. That’s the part that made me feel even worse than I already felt up to that point. The blinding headache, the nausea and the God-awful loud noises were bad enough, but I’d take them any day over what I apparently did that night.

Adam and Hoss looked towards the top of the stairs when they heard a loud crash above them and hurried to find out what had happened. By the time they made it into Little Joe’s bedroom they saw their father lying on the floor. He wasn’t moving and his face was filled with stunned confusion as he looked up at the boy who still had his left hand balled up into a fist standing over him.

“Just what the heck is going on?” Adam demanded and went down on one knee to help pull his father up.

“I’m alright, Boys,” Ben insisted, still numb over what had happened. He made it to his feet and shook himself from the shock of having taken a good strong punch from his youngest son. Ben hadn’t been expecting the move, so he didn’t have the opportunity to block Little Joe’s throw. The suddenness of Joe’s left fist hitting its intended target had caused him to hit the floor hard.

Hoss noticed the red splotch spreading across his father’s right cheek, and it wasn’t too hard to guess how it had gotten there. It was obvious what I had done.

Yeah, the left-handed me and the bruise starting to form on the right side of Pa’s face. I was guilty as charged without a trial nor any remembrance of sending that punch which had knocked my father down onto the floor.

“Little Brother, you’d better hope that ain’t from you!” Hoss shouted and indicated his father’s face. His hand automatically formed into a fist as he moved closer to Joe’s bed.

From what I was told I just stood there and didn’t say anything. I don’t remember that but then again, I don’t remember striking my father either. Adam later told me that I was lucky because both he and Hoss were about to pull me limb from limb, but Pa had forced them to leave the room.

“You stay up here, Joseph. You and I are going to discuss all this after I’ve tended to my cheek,” Ben announced, the fingers of his right hand touching his injury. He simply turned without another word being said and walked out of the room with my two brothers following in his wake.

So that’s the way I was told that it all went down that night. I had heard it from Pa, Hoss and Adam so I guess it’s a sure bet that’s exactly what I had done. I don’t care how bad my head was hurting or how much I wanted to ask Pa to just stop talking, I never would have raised my hand to him. But they said I did – so I’ve got to accept that. I’d rather drink poison than to have that one over my head for the rest of my life! I’m just glad I don’t remember doing it or I could never face anyone ever again. There’s a good chance that I still won’t be able to face anyone after having raised a hand to my father. My brothers and I have had our share of scuffles, and we’ve come to blows with each other a time or two. But no one ever – and I mean ever – hits Pa! As Hop Sing would say that one’s “carved in jade”. It’s an unspoken rule and in hindsight I don’t blame any of them for the way I was treated after it happened. If Adam or Hoss had knocked Pa to the floor I probably would have shot them. Maybe now it makes complete sense how I feel about myself and how I’m sure they all feel about me too.

“He’s sick,” Ben protested as he sank down into the blue winged back chair and held the cloth that Hop Sing had filled with chipped ice to his cheek. “I’m not going to go up there and do anything to him if he’s not well. And furthermore, I don’t want either of you to lay one finger on that boy. Understood?” Pa insisted as he shot a glance over at his two older boys who stood in front of the fireplace fuming inside.

“I don’t care if he’s sick, Pa!” Hoss fired back. He loved his little brother but there was only so much he could tolerate and Joe had crossed the line that night. Knowing the kid had struck their father wasn’t something he could just overlook.

“So, he’s sick,” Adam began and took a seat on top of the coffee table opposite his father. “Does that give that boy the right to haul off and hit you?”

Ben reached his right hand out for the glass of brandy that Hop Sing had given him when he’d brought the ice pack in earlier. Adam handed it over to him.

“Joseph is a lot of things. He’s got a bad temper, and he doesn’t take the time to think things through before reacting. But he would never hit me. I’m sure of it, just like I’m sure that neither of you would do that. Now, I don’t exactly know what’s wrong with him – but there’s something that caused him to throw that punch.”

“Pa,” Adam began and chose his words carefully. He knew how his father felt about the boy upstairs. The kid had been in and out of trouble ever since he wasn’t much older than a toddler. Pa had always forgiven the boy no matter what. Adam believed that his father was giving Joe the benefit of the doubt just because he was the youngest. Pa always had a soft spot as far as the boy was concerned just because he knew there wouldn’t be any other children to raise once Little Joe was grown up. Ben clung on to him a little tighter because of it. “Joe — whether he is sick or not — knew what he was doing. He let that temper of his loose on you. Can you blame Hoss and me for wanting to go up there and give him a piece of what he just gave you?”

Ben’s gaze went back and forth between the two angry young men in front of him and tried to ease the tension mounting by the minute. He could just imagine what one or both of them could do to their little brother if he were to allow them to go and have it out with him.

“I understand the way that you two feel. I appreciate that you both are protective of me. But I’m telling you that something is wrong with your brother. And if he really is sick then how would you feel afterwards if you made whatever is wrong with him worse by raising your hand to him?”

“Then let us just go and talk with him, Pa,” Hoss jumped into the conversation. “We’ll find out if he’s sick or not.”

“No,” Ben stated adamantly. “Let’s just let the situation cool down for a little while and then I’ll be the one to confront Joseph. If he isn’t sick then it will be me – and only me, who will decide how best to handle what the boy did tonight.”

Adam and Hoss exchanged a disappointed glance and shook their heads over their father’s stubborn refusal to let them deal with Little Joe.

“Okay, Pa,” Adam sighed, giving up on trying to change his father’s mind. Pa was even more stubborn than the ornery cuss who was in deep trouble now. “But, if he’s not sick then the two of us are going to have a talk with him once you’re done.”

“No fighting, is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir,” Adam nodded.

“Hoss?” Ben turned his attention on the big man who still appeared enraged over the situation.

“Yes, Sir,” he conceded with a frown.

“Alright then let’s all settle down. I’m going to let things cool off for a while and then go up there,” Ben stated firmly and then eased back into his chair.

I don’t know how I managed to pack up my saddlebags and a few belongings hurting the way that I was. I guess it must come from the nights I’ve spent out watching the herd. I’ve learned to pack up and get out there in case there’s trouble or if we’re shorthanded. I’ve done that a lot. But this time the trouble wasn’t with those loco steers it was with me. I did manage to throw up at least a few times and felt better for it. On top of the headache and nausea now I had a huge cramp in my stomach. It wasn’t there due to whatever the hell was going on with my head either. It was there because I’d hurt my pa. I had witnessed the redness on Pa’s face, but it wasn’t until after they had all left my room that I looked at the knuckles on my left hand. I knew that I had used them on Pa. I guess that’s when my stomach started hurting and I decided to pack up my things. I didn’t want to face anyone. I couldn’t stomach the idea of seeing the looks on Hoss or Adam’s faces. But worst of all I couldn’t face Pa. How could I? I had hit him for no real reason. Well even if there had been a real reason, if I’d been in my right mind I’d never even have thought about raising my hand to my father. I wondered if he’d gotten so loud that I had blindly flailed out my hand just to make the noise stop. No matter what had triggered the event, the thought of my father coming up to my room to confront me scared me. It wasn’t because Pa might really let me have it. Lord knows he had every right to do that! No, it was because I’d have to look at the face that had borne the brunt of my rage. I hurriedly threw everything that I thought I might need inside my bedroll, including the money I had stashed in my bureau. I had been saving up for Pa’s birthday which was only a month away. Now I figured that the best thing that I could give him as a gift was a life without me around. Pa deserved a better son than he had gotten.

I was relieved that no one heard me as I quietly made my way down the back stairs like I’ve been doing since I was old enough to walk. It was how I made my escape to freedom as a kid. But now I was slithering away like someone who had stayed too long at a party and everyone’s happy to see them get their hat and leave. But it’s not their fault – my family that is. Why would they even want me around anyhow? I’ve been nothing but trouble for my Pa and my brothers. It’s not like I’ve tried to get into all the predicaments that I always find myself to be in. Maybe I was born under a bad star or something? I could hear Adam and his Shakespeare nonsense. He’d once recited to me “the fault lies not within the stars but within ourselves.” I guess that means it is all my fault after all. Anyway, I made it out of the house and skirted the back of the kitchen undetected. Then I stealthily walked through the tree line and finally entered the barn. I was glad that it was both dark and quiet in there. I had that going for me because my head throbbed and everything that I had taken into my body since that fall had already come right back out. Cochise cooperated as though she knew why I was leaving. I cast a wary glance towards the porch. The light was still lit, which meant no one had gone to bed yet, which was a good thing. It gave me more time to get away from the house. I’m sure that they were huddled up around the fireplace discussing what to do with me. They won’t need to worry about that now.

I walked Cochise around the barn, afraid that if I tried to ride her someone might hear. My thoughts were muddled and it was hard to decide where I should head off to and which direction to turn my horse. I finally decided and managed to kick Cochise hard enough to bring her up to a canter instead of riding her at my usual breakneck speed. Yeah, she knew what was expected of her. I was good with horses, just not rocks, I guess. I was lucky there was a full moon which would afford just enough light to take me away from the ranch house. The thought had occurred to me that I should leave Nevada altogether, but I couldn’t. My head throbbed and every sound was magnified as I rode onward. Though I’d always loved listening to the way that the wind blew through the pines, suddenly hearing it was so deafening that I was beginning to hate living so far back in the woods. It was a moot point now since I wouldn’t be calling the Ponderosa home any longer. Trying to take my mind off my head aching I stared down at my friend. Cochise was a smart horse alright. When I began to slump a bit in my saddle, she automatically adjusted her stride. I’m glad that she did that as the last thing I needed was to fall off a horse again.

And so, it was with great thought that I decided to leave the Ponderosa. Well, not so great as I couldn’t hold a rational thought in my head anymore. At some point I pulled back on the reins and then I spun my horse around in a complete circle. It was as if I couldn’t tell up from down for a few minutes. Anyway, I finally got my bearings well enough to choose that remote cabin on the outskirts of the ranch as my destination. It was in ill repair, but it would do the trick since I doubted that anyone would find me up there. Well, not that I believed that anyone would go looking for me after what I had done. I couldn’t blame them. It was bad enough that I was stuck with me, why should anyone else want that? But just the same, I didn’t want to see anybody anyway. It wasn’t just a matter of being ashamed of what I had done to my father, though that was the larger of the two reasons. Every time I thought about having knocked my Pa to the floor my stomach seized up again. Dear Lord why did I do that? I guess I’ll never know. I felt even worse now because instead of facing Pa I was turning tail and running off like some little kid. I should have stayed long enough to be dressed down and punished by my father for what I had done. But there wasn’t anything I could have said in my defense. Not only didn’t I remember doing it, but I had absolutely no idea why it happened. And Pa would’ve been very vocal about how he felt about me and I just couldn’t handle that. My head hurt too much. Maybe someday I’ll write him a letter and apologize? Anyway, the second reason why I had chosen that secluded cabin was because I didn’t want any noise. And people come with noise, that’s a fact. So, with the plan as to where we were going decided, we were soon heading in the right direction. I just patted Cochise’s neck and told her my plan. Most folks think I’m crazy to put so much stock in a horse but mine is smarter than half of the people that I know. She just senses things — especially things about me. I’m not her master, never was. We are partners, that sums it up the best way I know how. I feed her and take care of her needs. And to repay me she’s constantly saved my life by bringing me back home even when I’ve been injured. That’s our agreement. We’ve had it ever since I was twelve years old and my pa was gifted the horse by Chief Winnemucca. She was given to Pa so he could give her to me. That darn horse of mine. Our introduction was her pushing me headfirst into the creek there at the Paiute encampment. Cochise let me know who was in charge and it hasn’t changed in five straight years. I love her and I think she sort of loves me. At least most of the time she does. My mind was all over the place as I drew closer to that old cabin and I hoped that I could make it there without falling out of my saddle.

“He’s not in his room. I went up there to call the little varmint down here like you said, Pa—but he must’ve escaped using the back stairs,” Hoss announced as he descended the staircase.

“Great,” Adam muttered, his anger kindled at his brother for dodging them all. He knew that Little Joe must’ve run off to avoid the punishment that he so richly deserved as far as he was concerned. Adam and Hoss had discussed the situation between themselves when they were in the kitchen earlier to get the coffee that Hop Sing had made before retiring for the night. Neither man was happy with their father’s decision to simply speak to Joe instead of hauling him out to the barn for a well-deserved “necessary talking to.” “Guess he’s not all that sick, Pa. If he was, he couldn’t have ridden off.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Ben frowned and stood from his chair. “I’m going to get my gear together and go out looking for that youngster.”

Hoss was quickly over to his father and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Pa, let us go out after him. You’ve had a rough night. Why don’t you just rest?”

“Hoss,” Ben shook his head and grinned knowingly over at his middle boy. It was very easy to see that his son was upset over what had transpired and that he was being a bit overly protective of his father in true Cartwright fashion. Ben had to admit that all his sons had learned that trait from him. “I took one punch from your little brother. Yes, it caught me by surprise – which was why I fell. But I’d hardly say that I had a rough night. Or do you think that your old man can’t handle one unexpected left-handed jab to my face?” Ben forced his gaze on Hoss, letting him know that he was okay and that he was determined to go after Joe.

“Alright,” Adam jumped into the mix with his own suggestion. “Let’s all go then. If we don’t find the kid right away, we can split up and cover more area.”

Pursing his lips and dropping his head a bit as he considered Adam’s reasoning, Ben finally nodded.

“On one condition,” he said and looked back and forth between his sons. “If we do have to break up and go in different directions – and if either one of you finds Joseph, then I want your word that you’re not going to do anything to him.”

Adam and Hoss exchanged glances and frowns over their father’s orders. Both men wanted to take care of Little Joe’s attitude problem and to show him that what he had done that night wouldn’t be tolerated. If that meant that they had to use physical force, then so be it.

“Well?” Ben asked when neither of his sons responded to his demands.

“Agreed – right, Hoss?” Adam turned and looked up at his brother and tried to signal to him to go along with the plan just to ease their father’s mind.

“Sure, Pa – I won’t do nothing to him – even though he’s got it coming,” Hoss nodded his head and clapped his father on the back. He was trying hard to hide his anger and it hadn’t been easy.

“Now listen,” Ben paused and placed a hand on both of his son’s shoulders. “Don’t assume that Joseph isn’t sick just because he rode out of here the way he did. I’ve seen that boy riding Cochise when he was so sick that he could barely make it inside this house – and you both have too. Give him the benefit of the doubt, Boys.”

The two brothers shared the same thoughts about Little Joe at that moment. They didn’t care if the boy had an injury or some kind of ailment. As far as they were concerned Joe just flat out shouldn’t have hit their father and that was that. But they also knew that the man who now stood sandwiched between them loved the boy; perhaps too much. Pa always gave Little Joe a pass when it came to misbehaving. They also knew that they wouldn’t have been as lucky had they pulled the same kind of stunts that the boy had done in his seventeen years. But the situation was different this time, Little Joe had struck their father. In the kitchen they had made a pact that one or both of them would take care of their little brother if their father didn’t come down on him hard for what he’d done.

Ben smiled for the first time in hours as he observed the looks going back and forth between his sons. “Boys, I can hear the wheels spinning around in your heads. No, you are not going to dole out any kind of punishment to Joseph even if it turns out that he isn’t sick. I’m his father –just the same as I’m yours -and you both best remember that. Now go get bedrolls in case we need them and rouse Hop Sing, so he’ll know where we’re going. Ask him to get us up some grub to take along with us. I’m going upstairs to get my things packed.”

And with those parting words Ben hurried up the stairs closing his final arguments so both men would know what he expected of them.

“Wish I’d been born the youngest,” Hoss fumed. “That boy has gotten out of more tannings than both of us combined.”

Adam gave his brother a quick wink before going off to wake Hop Sing. “Naw, it wouldn’t have sounded right.”

“Huh?” Hoss asked confused by his brother’s statement.

“Calling you “Little” Hoss – it just doesn’t have a good ring to it. And besides that, you haven’t been little since the day I held you right after your mother gave birth to you.”

Hoss chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, guess you’re right! Okay I’ll go saddle the horses.”

The three Cartwrights soon had their gear and supplies ready and headed off to try to find Little Joe and bring him back kicking and screaming if necessary.

Well, I was right about that old cabin. No wonder why even passing vagrants didn’t bother to hole up inside of it. It looked like it had begun to lean and the only thing plumb about it was the chimney. But it was a place where I was sure that I could find a bed and if not, surely the floor would do the trick. I just needed to close my eyes and get some rest. I wanted to be in a dark room away from any noise so maybe my darn head would stop throbbing.

I took care of Cochise, per our agreement, and she whinnied to show me that she was satisfied with the oats I had packed in with my provisions. Then I turned her loose inside the small rope corral and grabbed all my gear. The place was dark and dreary, and I was thrilled with it. Swatting the cobwebs with my hand I looked around the sparsely furnished one room cabin. There was a bunk whose rope supports which, upon inspection of them, had mostly broken. I figured that there were more than enough still strung across it to accommodate me since I didn’t weigh too much. I knew that if Hoss were there, he’d end up falling through the thing. I tossed my gear at the end of the bunk and continued to inspect the place the best I could, having only one candle in my possession. There wasn’t any whiskey squirreled away in the hopes of someone coming by for a visit. But that was fine by me. Just the thought of whiskey turned my stomach. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, but I was fine with that. My head hurt too much to think about it anyhow. The most I could do at that moment was to shake out the old motheaten blanket on the bunk and spread out on top of it. It was no International House Hotel, but it was dark and quiet and that’s all I had ever asked for.

Now the bad thing – aside for the fact that my head was killing me and that I was so queasy that I thought I’d have the dry heaves soon, was what happened next. I had finally gotten comfortable and was content with the peace and quiet that had fallen over the room when it happened. Closing my eyes I could clearly see Pa’s face, bruise and all, standing in my bedroom back at the house. He was standing there like he so often had right before letting loose on me. Pa was there with his hands on his hips and his eyes dark and penetrating as though they were already saying the words he was about to launch into. I tried to will that image away only to then see the faces of my very angry-looking brothers. The two of them looked like they were getting ready to tear me apart.

“Cut it out – leave me be, will you?” I whispered hoping that all of the images would vanish.

I shook my head and wondered why my life had suddenly gotten so out of control. This time I hadn’t run towards trouble as in the past, yet it had shown up, nonetheless. I rolled onto my left side and tried to remember what Doc Martin had told me years ago. I had been having stomach pains, which to be perfectly honest were caused by a bottle of rotgut that I had hidden in my bedroom. But Pa thought I was sick and had Doc drop by to check me over. He suggested that sleeping on one side as opposed to the other helped with stomach pain. Bad thing was now I couldn’t remember which side he told me was best. I was distracted back when Doc told me about “the whole sleeping on your side thing”. My father had been nonchalantly looking around my bedroom, and I was terrified that I’d been found out. Yeah, Pa had figured out about that bottle because the next morning when I looked it was gone and in its place was a note from him. He let me know that I’d be paying for Doc Martin’s services from the previous day and that I’d be getting over my ailment by the doubled number of chores he had left on the back of his note. Needless to say, I never hid rotgut ever again. But I sure wished that I could remember which side I was supposed to lay on because my gut hurt. I imagined that it was due to the dry heaves which had hit me right after I had put Cochise inside the corral.

I decided that it really wouldn’t matter which side I wanted to sleep on because I was going to have to sleep on my back. That nasty old blanket that was underneath me stunk to high heaven and it wouldn’t take much to make me sick to my stomach again. That’s when I folded my arms behind my head and closed my eyes again. Wincing my face due to a kind of pain I’d never felt in my life, I sat back up on the bunk. The pressure on the back of my head from my injury was incredible. Trying to sleep lying on my folded arms had proven to be a stupid thing to do. Now I felt worse than I had riding up to the cabin. I tried to take in slow even breaths but all I wanted to do was cuss. Deciding I didn’t need to hear anyone, including myself, screaming I just inspected the wound on the back of my head.

It was so strange. I’ve had so many injuries that I can usually spot a life threatening one right off. But not this time. I thought I had just bruised the back of my head and that it would go away in a day or two. Afterall, there wasn’t a drop of blood anywhere. My fingers came back as pristine as they had been before I inspected my wound.

***So much for me having a hard head like everyone’s always telling me. *** I thought and slowly eased over to where I had left my canteen. “Here goes nothing,” I remembered whispering and then attempted to get some fluids inside me.

I took in about two mouthfuls and then tried to hold real still so it would stay down. I wasn’t counting on it, but it was a nice thought anyhow.

“Day – day and a half tops and I’ll be fine. Then I’ll figure out where I’ll spend whatever’s left of my life. Right now, I don’t feel like I’ll make it until morning. Guess I’d better try to go down for a while because at least if I’m asleep the pain can’t find me.”

I was far too optimistic. The headache got worse.

The three Cartwrights had been trying to track in the dark which hadn’t worked out very well. They camped by a stream and waited for daybreak. The next morning, all three men broke camp and mounted their horses. Once they crossed the water and made their way onto the other side, Hoss had spotted the tracks.

“Those are Cochise’s hoof prints, Pa,” Hoss announced as he pointed towards them.

“Can you tell which way the kid’s heading?” Adam called over to Hoss who had dismounted and stared down to where the soil by the water’s edge had made a few solid imprints of their brother’s horse tracks.

“Not sure,” Hoss sighed as he peered around. “It looks like Little Joe must’ve spun Cochise around in a circle. Maybe he was trying to figure out his next move?” He could read the concern spreading all over his father’s face and knew that he was worrying about his youngest. “Think it’s time we split up, Pa,” he announced as he climbed back into his saddle.

“I think you’re right, Son,” Ben nodded as he stared off into the distance. “Hoss you head towards the rimrock area. Adam why don’t you head up to the timberline?”

“Where are you heading, Pa?”

“I think I’ll go through the north woods and up to Beaver Lake. It’s a longshot. No telling where that boy could be,” Ben answered shaking his head in frustration.

“How about we meet up on Old Mill Road right before sunset if we don’t have any luck?”

Ben nodded and turned Buck northward. “You boys take care of yourselves. And remember what I said if you do catch up with your little brother,” he warned both of his sons with his stern gaze.

“We’ll just bring him in,” Hoss nodded and waved as he headed east.

“Take care of yourself, Pa,” Adam smiled and then turned his horse due west.

“Come on, Buck,” Ben called to his horse as he lightly kicked at its sides.

If someone had put a gun up to my head and asked me what time I woke up the following day, I’d have told them to go ahead and shoot. They would’ve been doing me a big favor. I didn’t have any idea what time it was when my eyelids were first assaulted by the sunshine coming through the cracks in those lopsided walls. Trying to remember where I was, I got my answer fast. Instead of my comfortable bed at the ranch house I had fallen through the bunk whose rope supports had finally given way. How I managed to end up sitting on the floor in the middle of the bed with my head tilted back on that hard wooden frame I’ll never know. But what I did know was that my head was absolutely killing me. I wanted to cry but I doubted anything would’ve come out, not as dehydrated as I was due to losing everything inside of me the night before. I held up my arm to block the sunshine from hitting my face and crawled out of that so-called bunk.

My father, the same man who I had punched the previous night, had always told me that the first rule of survival was to find water, food and shelter. I had shelter, at least the four walls had held up that night. More than I can say for that bunk. Anyway, I had water as I noticed a hand pump just outside the door when I’d gotten Cochise taken care of. So that was two of the three things that my pa had so wisely told me to find. As my dull throbbing head fought to recall what I had packed, I inventoried what was in my saddle bags. Inside I found a slab of jerky and some hardtack. It wasn’t much by way of food, but if I’d wanted to go after game, I still had my rifle, though I’d left my Colt back at the house. But neither mattered too much as just the thought of what the sound of a gun would do to my brain sent shivers up my spine. I needed quiet. Quiet and dark. But then there was the whole survival thing to consider. I decided to try some water first and if that stayed down then my next move would be to take a bite of jerky.

Ben pulled back on his reins as another rider came into view. He waited there on the side of the road and watched as one of his neighbors rode up alongside him.

“Ben? Haven’t seen you in quite a spell,” The man reached across his saddle and held out his hand.

“Nate – you’re right it’s been a while. How are Lois and the boys doing?” Ben smiled and shook the man’s outstretched hand.

“Just fine. I’ve got my two older boys out looking for strays. How have you and your sons been?”

Ben tried to refrain from showing the concern on his face over all that had transpired since the previous night. “We’re all doing well.”

Nate inspected the other man’s appearance. He had known Ben Cartwright for twenty years and could tell that the man was worried about something that he didn’t want to address at the time. “You’re a far piece from your ranch. Looking for something?”

Frowning that he’d not been able to muster much of a poker face, Ben replied, “Yes, my youngest. You haven’t seen him, have you?”

“No, can’t say that I have. In fact, haven’t seen any of you since that barn dance better than two months ago. Is Little Joe in some kind of trouble?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Ben tried to think of a good response. He liked to keep family business private, but his worry had increased as the day went on and Joseph was nowhere to be found.

“I’m not exactly sure, Nate. Listen – if you do happen to see the boy would you mind sending me word? Joe’s gone off somewhere and we’re all a bit worried about him.”

Nate nodded and reached over and offered a commiserative pat to the other man’s shoulder.

“Kids – they put us poor fathers through the mill, don’t they?”

“Sure do,” Ben sighed wearily.

“I’ll be sure to let you know if we spot Little Joe, Ben. Well, I’d better get moving. Gotta go round up those boys of mine.”

“Thanks. Give Lois and the boys my best,” Ben said and offered up a smile. He waved as the other man turned and rode off. Looking up at the sky he realized how late it was getting. Turning Buck towards the Old Mill Road, he kicked at the horse’s sides. He needed to catch up with Hoss and Adam and hoped that they had some better news.

Neither Adam nor Hoss had any better luck than their father had. It was almost dark by the time all three of them gathered just south of the mill.

“I dunno, Pa,” Hoss frowned. “I ran into at least a half of a dozen men today and nobody’s seen hide nor hair of Little Joe.”

“Same here,” Adam nodded over to his father.

Ben stared up at the setting sun and had to make some decisions fast. “We could bed down but it’s going to be another cold night. Let’s just head on home and regroup. I’m going to see if some of the ranch hands can help us tomorrow.”

Both brothers knew that it had been a hard concession for their father to have made. They realized that he’d rather have stayed out looking for Little Joe but was trying to logically think out his next move.

Hoss reached over and patted his father’s arm. “Don’t worry, Pa. We’ll find him.”

Ben shook his head and sighed. His fatherly intuition told him that his youngest was in some kind of trouble and he needed him. “Let’s go, Boys,” he said and turned Buck in the direction of the ranch house. Ben knew it was going to be another long night like the previous one.

I was glad to have kept both the water and the three bites of jerky down though I still felt like I might lose it all. The most I had done all day was fill my canteen, go talk to Cochise, feed her and rest. It was time to make some decisions, and it was hard to do because it hurt to think. The wind had picked up, and the cabin was becoming uncomfortably cold. I wanted to wait until the sun was down because looking at any kind of light still made my head hurt worse. But I knew I’d need wood, so I walked around and scavenged enough for the night and dropped the two arms full down in front of that old potbelly stove. I groaned due to my stupid move. The sound of that wood hitting the floor sent shockwaves through to my brain, it was that loud. I swore that I’d never do that again. A chill went through me as a gust of wind pierced the cracks in those four walls. I wished that I had some coffee just to warm up my insides. In fact, I wish I had a tin cup, but I hadn’t had time to gather a mess kit due to my leaving the way I had; like some criminal running from the law. I did have a slicker that had been rolled up behind my saddle, and I had to put it on once the temperature dropped. The darn thing didn’t do much for me as thin as it was. There I was with no jacket, no cup, and no coffee. And on top of all that I didn’t have anything that I could use to get my head to stop killing me. It was at that moment that I gave up on the notion that I’d just gotten a lump that would heal in a day or two. What with the way it hadn’t let up, I knew that my injury was far worse than I had originally thought. Now I was in a real fix. I stoked the fire and then I placed some pine boughs underneath both the moth-eaten and horse blankets. The night was fast approaching, and I’d hoped to sleep on something softer than the hard wood floor. I missed my home. I missed Hop Sing and how he would’ve given me some kind of tea to help with my headache. I missed my brothers even though they were ready to tear me apart over what I had done. At that point it would have been a mercy killing if they were to come and find my sorry butt. Most of all I missed my Pa, but I couldn’t get the look on his face out of my thoughts. He had stared at me right before turning to walk out of my room and into the hallway. Pa’s expression was filled with both shock and betrayal. The shock was due to his surprise over the fact that his youngest son had hauled out and hit him. The betrayal was because he’d never expected it, especially from me. I sat at the table and dropped my head on top of my folded arms. Tears wouldn’t come, maybe because I knew it would hurt if I let them all out. Just thinking about what had happened was driving me crazy and knowing that I couldn’t take any of it back was unbearable.

I hadn’t fallen asleep, I had blacked out, and when I came around the fire in the stove had gone out and the cabin was just plain freezing. Looking up from the floor, which was where I had apparently landed when I passed out, I tried to figure out what had happened. Pulling myself back to my feet I couldn’t do much more than to rub at the back of my head. But that didn’t do anything but make my head hurt even worse. I restoked the fire and decided that I would pull some pine needles off the boughs which were stuffed underneath the blankets on the floor. I remembered Hop Sing once said that there was something good in pine needles, but I couldn’t figure out what he said that it was. That reminded me of the previous night when I couldn’t remember which side a person was supposed to sleep on if their gut was hurting. I guess I should pay more attention when people try to tell me useful cures. Anyway, I found a pan stuffed behind some old rusty cans in a cabinet behind the stove. I used that to heat the water and placed a handful of the pine needles in it and waited for it to steep. I wanted to use one of the cans I had found as a cup, but it was all rusted and I had enough to worry about without getting sick from using that. I sat back down at the table and tried to get my bearings again. I decided that if I lived through the night that I’d make a trip the next day. I would have to travel right before it got too dark because the sunlight just plain went through me and made my head hurt worse. Hoss and I had camped about five miles from the cabin on our way back from a horse buying trip a couple of years ago. I recalled that there was a trading post not too far away and a heck of a lot closer than Virginia City. Besides, I didn’t want to be seen by anyone just in case they’d report back to my family. I still felt like some kind of a criminal running from the law but most likely no one was tailing me. Why would they? My brothers weren’t about to forgive me and I couldn’t blame them. And then there was Pa. Okay my father has always forgiven folks if they ask him. That’s the type of man he is. Lord knows he’s forgiven me numerous times, and many when I don’t think that he should have. But this was different. It had been such a betrayal on my part to have hit him like that. Plus blindsiding him the way that I had was lower than low. I’d have felt better about it if he had hauled off and hit me back instead of just walking away. I know it wouldn’t have helped my darn head but it sure would’ve made my heart feel better. The thought of my family and how each one felt about me was driving me insane and I had enough problems due to my injury. Trying to refocus my attention on other things I thought about the next day and what I’d need to do. I would go to that trading post and get some of the things I didn’t have time to pack. I needed a jacket or coat because it was getting downright chilly even during the day. If I thought that I could stomach it, I’d need some coffee and maybe some sugar too. I didn’t have a pencil, or I would’ve started to make a list. It’s probably a good thing that I didn’t have one. It hurt too much just looking out of my eyes, so I didn’t want to focus on anything until my headache let up. I decided to cool the pine needle concoction and try to get some of it down before I attempted to get some sleep. Deciding that tomorrow would just have to take care of itself, I gave up on thinking ahead. Just getting through the night and fighting the pain that I was in was more than enough for me.

Ben stepped aside as both his boys placed their holsters on the credenza and walked into the living room. He unbuckled his gun belt next and rolled it up. When he readied to place it alongside the other two, his eyes fell on the left-handed holster. A sharp pain stabbed his heart. He missed his youngest boy, and it showed all over his face. His fingers gently swept across the ivory handle of Joe’s Colt. He knew that his son was somewhere without it now and that made his worry increase. *** Oh, Joseph. Where are you? Why did you run off? Were you afraid of what I’d do to you because of what happened between us? I know that you didn’t mean it. I’ll never believe that you did it on purpose. Whatever was going through your mind at the time must’ve made you do it. Are you sick? If so – then why didn’t you just tell me? I need you here. No matter what you did I love you, Boy. Please just come home. *** Ben thought as he squeezed his eyes closed to stay his tears.

“Pa?” Hoss called from his position in front of the fireplace where both he and Adam were standing warming their hands. “Pa – why don’t you come over here and get warmed up?”

Coughing into his fist, Ben attempted to push away the thick emotion. “I’m going to talk to Hop Sing for a minute and then I’ll join you boys.” With that said, he turned into the next room.

“Where Little Joe?” Hop Sing asked as his boss entered the kitchen.

“He’s out there somewhere. We’ll just have to go back out after him tomorrow. Do you have anything for us, Old Friend?” Ben attempted to put on a smile which lost its effect before making it all the way up to his lips.

Hop Sing nodded as he studied the other man’s face. He knew how Ben felt about the youngest boy and how much he worried about him.

“Hop Sing made chicken. I bring in soon.”

“Thank you,” Ben patted the cook’s shoulder and was preparing to leave the room when he felt the man’s hand on his arm pulling him back.

“Not to worry, Mister Ben – Little Joe come back. You see.”

Biting his lip trying to fight his fear over Little Joe’s welfare, Ben simply nodded and turned out of the kitchen.

I had another rough night though at least I didn’t fall onto the floor like I had that first one in the cabin. That was easy because I slept there. The pine boughs smelled better than the blanket that covered it. But it sure got cold! I awoke and tried to remember how many days I’d been hurting so badly. I guessed three but I wasn’t sure anymore. I stoked that stove again and stood right in front of it trying to get warm. Now I knew that I would have to get to that trading post before I froze my fool self to death. Though that would rid me of the God-awful headache, just the same I didn’t want to die that way. I fed and watered Cochise and she seemed happy to escape that rope corral. By the look of the sun, I guessed it was well past noon. So, I saddled my horse and made my way some five miles due north and got to the trading post a little more than an hour later.

“What can I get you?” The stocky man behind the counter asked Joe as he walked towards him.

“You got any coats? I don’t have one with me,” Joe answered and dropped his head down a bit, still fighting the mounting pain.

“Got some used ones. They’re a bit rough looking though,” He returned and studied his patron’s appearance. By the looks of him he wasn’t much more than a kid.

“Just need something warm is all. I’m not picky.”

The owner turned away from the counter and went down to one knee. He rummaged through a box full of used clothing. He finally came up with a plain gray woolen coat and handed it across to his customer.

Joe pulled it on and though the sleeves hung down way past his wrists it was nice and warm.

“I’ll take it,” he said, rolling the cuffs up a bit. “I’m gonna need some coffee and sugar. Oh, I’m also gonna need a coffee pot along with a tin cup. Better throw in a spoon, fork and a knife. I could use a handful of candles too. Guess I’d better get a couple cans of beans. If you’ve got any I’d be obliged.”

“That it?”

“Yeah, that should hold me for a while.”

The man nodded. He turned and gathered everything that Joe had requested and placed each item inside a brown paper sack. When he turned back around, he noticed that the young man had his head down on the counter.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked and quickly walked around to the other side and neared the boy.

Joe’s face flinched with increasing pain. With a great deal of effort, he lifted his head as he closed his eyes.

“Yeah,” He nodded, attempting to hide the mounting pressure from his injury. “Would you mind whispering? Can’t take loud noises.”

“You don’t look too good. You have a headache?” the man asked and dropped his voice to a whisper realizing that the young man was hurting a great deal.

“Yep.”

“Must be awfully bad by the looks of you. There’s a doctor over in Virginia City who’s pretty good.”

Little Joe fought back a smile. Doctor Paul Martin had been tending to him ever since he had brought him into the world some seventeen years earlier.

“Don’t feel up to riding that far,” Joe replied and finally pulled himself upright.

“You get hurt?”

“Yeah – hit my head on a rock,” he answered though he hadn’t planned on saying anything to anyone. As far as he was concerned, the less folks knew about him the better it would be. The man in front of him just happened to be persistent enough to illicit a response from him.

“You know my second cousin hit his head. Yeah, he had a terrible time,” The man continued.

*** Great – just what I need to hear right about now. *** Joe thought to himself.

“Let me guess,” Joe began wryly as he grabbed the bag with his supplies. “Your cousin hurt his head and died, right?”

The man shook his head, “No, he’s alive but he had to have some kind of surgery.”

“Surgery just because he hit his head?” Joe asked incredulously. He was sure that the man was making the story up to frighten him. It was working.

“The doctor in Sacramento said that if he hadn’t had that surgery, he would’ve died within a week. It’s a good thing that he went to see that doctor when he did.”

“Just what kind of surgery did they do?” Little Joe was beginning to believe the man’s story now.

The man pointed to the back of his head and returned, “They put a hole right about here. Yeah – they drilled it somehow. My cousin said there was bleeding around his brain. Way he tells it is that his skull would’ve kept filling up with blood until it slap ran out of room,” the man stopped and snapped his fingers. “Then he’d have been dead just that quick!”

“So, now your cousin has a hole in his head?” Little Joe questioned his voice steeped in fear. The mere thought over what the man had just relayed made his chest tighten with dread.

The man nodded, “Yeah – but the doctor gave him a special hat to wear. It’s made of some kind of metal, so he won’t hurt himself. That hole ain’t never gonna fill in so he’s got to be careful and keep that thing on his head all the time. Now I ain’t saying it was a good-looking thing to have happen to his head. Nobody wants to spend their life with a hole in their noggin. But that surgery sure saved his life.”

“How exactly did your cousin get hurt?”

“He fell off his horse and smacked his head on a rock. He said that the headache he had about drove him crazy it hurt so much. He couldn’t handle loud noises, and he said that just being out in the light was awful. He told me that it’s the most excruciating pain known to man. But at least it made him go and see the doctor. So, I guess it was a good thing that his body warned him that he was in trouble.”

Little Joe bit at his bottom lip and fought back his fear again. His head was killing him, and he had just listened to a story that didn’t help with the way he was feeling. It had only heightened Joe’s worry and made him wonder if he would soon be facing a similar fate.

“How much I owe you?” Joe asked as he reached inside his pants pocket.

“Two and a quarter ought to square us. I won’t charge for the coat since it’s in such bad shape. I doubt anyone else would want it.”

Joe placed the money on the counter and nodded to the man. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Hey – you never did say how you hit your head?” He called across the counter as he watched Little Joe heading for the door.

“Fell off a horse,” Joe muttered and walked away.

The man shook his head sadly as he watched the boy heading out to his pinto. He prayed that the kid would be okay.

“Pa – I’m going out to the herd to talk to some of the ranch hands. I’ll leave word that Little Joe is missing,” Adam called across the room when he spotted his father coming down the stairs the next morning.

“Did you eat?”

“Yes, Sir – so did Hoss. He already left for Virginia City. He’s going to check around to see if anyone spotted Joe there.”

“Sorry – I guess I slept longer than I planned,” Ben apologized as he walked to the door.

Adam placed a hand on his father’s shoulder and replied, “Pa, we heard you. You were up half the night. You didn’t sleep any better than Hoss and I did. Try not to fret we’ll find the kid.”

Ben simply nodded, finding words hard to come by that morning. He had gone directly into Little Joe’s bedroom the minute he had awakened hoping to find that Joseph had come home. Sitting down on the boy’s bed all he could think of was the way that Joe had acted the night he had left. He knew that there was something wrong with him. There was something in the boy’s hazel eyes that told him he wasn’t feeling well but Joe had merely told him that he was tired. Ben couldn’t imagine what his youngest had been keeping from him. It just wasn’t like his son to simply run away without bothering to face him. The boy was in trouble, and he couldn’t find him and that made Ben spend another night tossing and turning and worrying about his son.

“I’ll be back just as soon as I can. Pa, don’t worry,” Adam said as he opened the door and walked outside.

*** Pa don’t worry. Ben thought about what his eldest had said and sighed. He knew that he’d always worry about his boys, it was just his nature. And now he was afraid for his youngest who was perhaps sick and somewhere all alone. Joseph just come on home. *** He prayed.

I had a rougher ride back to the cabin than I had going out to that trading post. My head throbbed and my mind kept going back to that man and his cousin with the hole in his skull. It made sense though. Of all the people that I could meet in an out-of-the-way trading post I found the one man who knew all about awful headaches and how to cure them by punching a hole in a person’s skull. I took the time to feed and settle Cochise down and then brought all my supplies inside the cabin. The two canteens needed filling, and I had to gather more broken branches, so I’d have enough wood to last until the morning. I took care of those chores and got ready for another long night. It was getting colder by the hour but at least I finally had a coat. As I sat by the stove and waited for my coffee to heat up, mindlessly the fingers of my left hand found their way to the back of my head. I guess I was hoping that my scalp would just open up all by itself and if there was blood pooling inside my head that it would just pour out so I’d get some relief. I didn’t have anything better to pass the time, so I just spoke to myself. It wouldn’t have mattered if it seemed odd since there wasn’t anyone else around to hear me.

“I bet just about now everyone’s sitting down to eat supper. I’m sure it’s better than beef jerky and hardtack. Of course, I have some beans if I want to go through the trouble of heating them up, which I don’t. I wonder if they’re still talking about me and the terrible thing that I did? I can just see Pa sitting there with that look on his face that he gets when he’s angry with me but doesn’t want to say anything right away. But his eyes always told me more than his words ever could. And now he’s probably looking like that and thinking about his youngest son who has been nothing but trouble his whole miserable life. Adam’s probably sitting there saying that it’s better this way and that it’s a good thing that I left. And Hoss – well he probably just wants me back so he can pound me good. I wouldn’t blame any of them for being glad that I’m gone. I only wish that —,” Joe had to stop his soliloquy because the tears had come at long last. He dropped his head down on his folded arms and wept. The thought of what he had done stabbed his heart, and he couldn’t help feeling lower than he’d ever felt before. The plain fact was that no matter how hard he tried to tell himself differently, he missed his father and his brothers. He wished that he hadn’t left like he had but now he knew that it had been for the best.

“I’m probably gonna die anyhow. I’ve probably got the same thing as that man’s cousin had. But I’m not getting a darn hole cut in my head anyway. I could go home and tell Pa what happened to me and live out my last days there. But there’s always the chance that I’d hit Pa or one of my brothers when my head gets so bad that I just can’t take it anymore. I guess that’s what happens to me right before I blackout. I just couldn’t chance that happening again. At least out here I can’t hurt anyone other than myself. And if I did go home, I could just imagine what Pa would say. No matter what I’ve done he’d try to help me, I guess, the same way he’d help a stranger. It’s probably what he thinks I am now anyhow. I sure didn’t act like any son of his – hitting him like I did. But Pa would try to be kind, that’s just his way. Maybe he’d tell me that he’s taking me to get that surgery whether I want a hole drilled in my head or not? Then none of them would be mad anymore because they’d feel sorry for me. No, I’m not going back for that. I’d rather they all just thought that I left for places unknown and that I lived out my days alone like an outcast. It’s a sure bet that nobody will find me after I die – well — other than the buzzards or rats as they pick apart my body.” I pushed back my tears as I grabbed a rag to lift the coffee pot. Pouring the first coffee that I’d had in days, I brought it over to the table. *** God just don’t let anyone know that I died like this – please! *** I pleaded as I sat back down at the table. Slowly sipping the coffee, I made a vain attempt to push away all thoughts of my family. It didn’t work. If I were to be perfectly honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I wanted my father. Pa wouldn’t be able to stop what was happening inside of my head but just having him here next to me would make me feel better somehow. But I knew that I’d never be able to face him again due to the punch I had thrown which had knocked him to the floor. And it would be a selfish thing to do anyway if I were to just show up and tell everyone that I didn’t have long to live. I felt like I had caused enough heartache for Pa; and he didn’t need anymore.

Hop Sing had forced some breakfast on Ben and made him eat it whether he wanted to or not. The cook could be a powerhouse when he wanted to, and nobody had ever won an argument with the man. Ben begrudgingly obliged Hop Sing and got down some eggs and toast along with several cups of coffee. Just as he stood to walk into the next room there was a loud thump on the door. He hurried over to answer it, hoping that it might be some news concerning Little Joe’s whereabouts.

“Howdy, Ben,” The foreman nodded to his boss as Ben led him inside the house.

“Fletcher – have you spoken to either Hoss or Adam?”

The man nodded and then studied Ben’s face carefully taking note of the bruise on his right cheek.

“Yep, heard that the boy’s run off. Passed Adam a little while ago and he told me the kid’s been missing a couple of days now.”

Ben sighed and tried not to show the mounting concern he was feeling at the time.

Tilting his head and offering an accusatory stare, Fletcher asked, “Have anything to do with that, Ben?” He pointed to the other man’s right cheek.

Pursing his lips trying to think of a good explanation, Ben was at a loss to answer the man’s question.

“You ain’t got to tell me. It was that ornery little varmint what done it. I can see it all over your face – and not just where that bruise is either,” Fletcher grinned.

Clearing his throat, Ben responded, “We just need to find the boy. Hoss is checking in town and Adam’s going to try and get some of the hired hands to go out looking for him.”

“What kind of trouble is Little Joe in this time?” Fletcher continued, never one to hold back from speaking his mind.

“Now listen,” Ben’s voice grew in volume. He didn’t need an inquisition he needed to find his son. “I just want everyone to keep an eye out for Joseph. I’m not sure if he’s sick or not, but I want him back home.”

“Must’ve been sick to throw a punch at his pa,” Fletcher nodded.

“Never said he did,” Ben countered gruffly.

Fletcher chuckled as he patted Ben’s arm. “You didn’t have to say it – I seen it in your eyes. Relax – I won’t tell nobody. Now – you ain’t got a clue as to where the boy ran off to?”

“The three of us went all over this ranch yesterday and couldn’t find him. I’ve no clue where he’s holed up, Fletcher. But I’m worried about him.”

“Ben – no wonder you’ve got white hair! You’ve been worrying about those no-account lazy youngins for far too long. I say let ‘em all leave so you can sit out there in that rocking chair and wait for them to bring you home the next batch of brats.”

“Thank you for that sage advice,” Ben grumbled as he shook his head. “Now are you going to help me or not?”

“Okay I’ll go find the kid. But I’ve got one last thing to ask,” he returned as he moved to the front door and pulled it open.

“What’s that?”

Grinning, Fletcher stared over at his old friend and replied, “You sure you want him back?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” he groaned.

“Alright – I just had to ask. I guess if he were my boy I’d want him back too.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Ben nodded, thinking that the man finally understood how much he loved his sons.

“Yeah – I’d want him back so I could sock him good just to get even with him!” Fletcher laughed and walked away.

Ben sighed as he watched the foreman mounting his horse and turning it out of the yard. *** I fell for it that time, you old coot! But I know you’re just playing it off for my benefit. You care about those boys – always have! *** He thought and walked back into the living room.

I don’t know where I had been standing or sitting at the time that it happened, but I came around to find that I’d had another blackout. The one thing that I did know was that the room was ice cold and that I was shivering. There were still some good-sized branches on the floor in front of the stove, so I stoked it again and reached for the matches to get it lit. It hadn’t taken long for the pine sap to start popping as the flames grew higher. I could’ve done without that noise. I touched the bottom of the coffee pot, and it was just as cold as the stove had been. Opening the lid, I realized that the most that I’d drunk was just about a cup, so I decided to reheat it to try and warm up my insides. It was starting to really worry me that I never had any warning before my head got so bad that it brought me down to my knees and then I was dead to the world. I wish that had happened the night back at the ranch house. If only I had just passed out instead of hauling off and knocking my father to the floor. At least then I wouldn’t be sitting in a lopsided cabin alone and dealing with everything by myself. I noticed the sunlight peering through the cracks in the wall and I suddenly realized that I must’ve been out cold all night. I wished that being unconscious for so long had helped my head, but it hadn’t. The pain was just as fierce as it had been for days. I had no idea how long it had been since the day that I’d gotten thrown from that bronc and hit that rock. At that particular moment it seemed as though I had been battling through this headache for years. Just when I was about to check the coffee to see if it was ready I heard a noise and it almost took my breath away. It was gunfire and the very last thing that I needed to hear! The sound of it felt just like someone was sticking a red-hot fire poker right through to my brain. I walked over to where I’d set my rifle and checked to make sure that it was loaded before flinging the door open and stepping out onto the small front porch. Though the simple act of doing so killed my head, I scanned the tree line hoping to find out who was making all that racket. It only took a few minutes before someone came into view.

A young blonde headed boy who looked to be in his early teens approached Little Joe. He had a rifle held in one hand and with his other he waved to show that he didn’t mean any harm.

“Hey, Mister – thought I saw somebody over at this place,” The kid smiled as he walked closer to the porch.

Joe cringed to hear the boy’s voice. He had grown accustomed to the blissful silence and now that it had been broken it only increased the pain from his head wound.

“Something I can do for you?” he offered, hoping that he could make the boy leave quickly.

“Been out hunting and noticed your pinto. It’s a good-looking horse.”

“Yeah,” Joe nodded. “Listen – I’d love to stand and talk but I can’t right now.”

“You gonna live here?” The boy persisted undeterred by the young man’s eagerness to be rid of him.

“Yeah – for a little while.”

“I live about three miles that-a-way,” The boy pointed to the east. “My name’s Billy. Billy Kent.”

“Name’s Joe,” he returned and then felt an unyielding surge of pain sweeping over him. Joe was frightened that he might hurt the kid like he had hurt Pa. Knowing that he couldn’t trust himself anymore he tried to get the boy to leave. “Listen, Billy – if you wouldn’t mind – could you do your hunting a little bit closer to home? I’m not feeling all that well and I need my sleep.”

“What you got?”

Little Joe groaned. He didn’t need any more questions he only needed peace. “Billy, I’m not at all well so I’ve got to go lay down. I’m sorry. Maybe we can talk in a couple of weeks – but until then I need my rest.”

“Did a doctor tell you that, Joe?”

“Yes,” Joe stated adamantly and turned back for the door.

“I could ask my Ma to come over to tend you? She’s good with stuff like that. I had the chickenpox last year and she fixed me good as new.”

“No. I’ve got something contagious and the doctor told me not to let anyone near me, so they won’t get it. Now – all’s I need is some quiet and lots of sleep.”

“Well – alright then. I’ll hunt down yonder!” He pointed towards the woods.

“The farther the better, Billy. Thanks,” Joe nodded and then turned back inside the cabin closing the door behind him. He had made it in the nick of time. Falling to his knees, Little Joe gripped his head and gasped. It was then that he blacked out cold.

The three Cartwrights gathered around the fireplace later that evening and discussed what they had accomplished regarding trying to find out where Little Joe had gone. All of them wore frowns on their faces feeling like they hadn’t made much progress after three full days of searching.

“You know, Pa, I spoke to Cody,” Adam began and dropped down into the blue winged back chair. “He was out at the breaking corral and said that Little Joe took a pretty good fall the day he left.”

Ben leaned forward in his chair and set his coffee cup down on the table in front of him. “Was he hurt?”

Adam shrugged his shoulders as he watched the look of concern growing on his father’s careworn face. “I don’t think so. Least wise Cody said Joe got right back on another bronc after he got tossed off the other one.”

Shaking his head, Ben frowned. “It just doesn’t make the least bit of sense – none of it! Hoss? You sure nobody’s seen your brother in town?”

Hoss moved closer to the two men and stood in front of the fireplace. “It’s just like I told you, Pa. I checked all the saloons – the mercantile – even the bank and no one’s seen him. I talked to Roy and told him that Little Joe is missing, and he said he’d keep an eye out for him and let you know.”

“Then we’re back to square one,” Ben sighed wearily.

Hoss and Adam exchanged concerned glances knowing that their father’s worry was increasing the longer that the boy hadn’t been spotted anywhere.

“That’s not true, Pa,” Adam insisted. “I’ve spoken to most of the hired hands and a half a dozen of them are gonna search the ranch tomorrow. Jake and Cody are going to hit all the line shacks. Maybe the kid is holed up in one of them? He’s done that before you know.”

“I know,” Ben replied and stood to warm his hands in front of the fireplace. “Fletcher is going out looking for Joe too. Hopefully somebody will find him tomorrow.”

“Oh, he’s alright, Pa,” Hoss offered a reassuring smile and dropped a hand onto his father’s shoulder. “Little Joe might be young, but he can take care of himself. We’ve all taught him a lot over the years. He’ll be okay until we find him.”

Ben shook his head, unconvinced by what his son had said. “I know he’s capable of taking care of himself – but there’s something wrong with him. I can feel it. Joseph wouldn’t just run off without saying something. And he’d never have thrown a punch at me.”

“Pa – somebody’s going to find the kid. Like as not he’ll be right here in this living room with us tomorrow,” Adam joined the two men in front of the fireplace offering his solidarity and trying to assuage his father’s worry.

Ben stared back and forth between his two boys and let out an exhausted sigh. “You’re both probably right. Well, I think I’ll turn in. Goodnight.” He walked to the staircase and slowly went up to his bedroom.

“He’s sure taking it hard,” Hoss frowned and watched as his pa disappeared up the stairs.

“Well, you know how he’s always felt about the kid, Hoss. We’ll find Joe and Pa will be okay.”

“I sure hope so,” Hoss nodded as he sank down into his father’s chair.

Ben paused before pulling the door to his bedroom open and cast a glance across the hall over at Little Joe’s room. He drew in a deep breath and fought the temptation to go inside. Deciding that it was foolish to pine away for the boy who most likely would be found soon, he pushed his door open and got ready for bed. He removed his clothes and set them down on the chair next to his bed. Pulling on his nightshirt he crawled underneath his covers and tried to will himself to sleep. He had only been slumbering for less than an hour when he woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest as he sat straight up in his bed. Ben had dreamt about Marie, Little Joe’s mother, and it had left him with such an uneasy feeling that he had to get out of his bed. He reached for his robe resting on the footboard and pulled it on. It was then that he recalled why he had dreamed about the woman. He hadn’t had that particular nightmare in many years and had almost forgotten about it. But, due to the subject matter, he knew that he’d now have to go across the hallway.

Ben quietly walked into Little Joe’s bedroom and lit the lamp.

*** You’re an old fool, Ben Cartwright. He thought to himself as he slowly glanced around the bedroom. It was a room that now seemed so empty that it sent a stabbing pain to his heart. Ben couldn’t recall how many times over the seventeen years since Joe’s birth he had quietly slipped into his son’s bedroom just to make sure that the curly-headed boy was sound asleep. But that night Ben was seeking something other than his boy, something he had presumed would be on his son’s bed where he had last seen it. Not again! *** Ben’s heart fell in his chest as he hurried back out into the hallway. He jogged down the backstairs and rounded the kitchen, coming to a halt just outside of the cook’s quarters. Ben knocked on the door and waited.

A very groggy-looking Hop Sing stared up at his boss standing there in front of him with a strange expression on his face.

“What you want, Mister Ben? You find Little Joe?”

Shaking his head, Ben returned, “No – no we haven’t. I need to know what you’ve done with Joseph’s robe. Where is it?”

Hop Sing was surprised by the urgency in Ben’s question. “Little Joe robe? Hop Sing take – must wash robe tomorrow, alight?”

“No! Where is it? I need it,” Ben’s voice came out sounding very agitated.

Hop Sing padded into the kitchen with Ben following closely behind him. The cook reached inside the wash basket and dug down to the bottom coming up with the boy’s bathrobe.

“Here— need wash!” Hop Sing insisted though he relinquished it to Ben against his better judgement.

Ben pressed the robe to his chest and closed his eyes. He didn’t speak for several minutes.

Witnessing the look of sadness on his friend’s face, Hop Sing finally understood why the man was standing like that, holding the robe as though it was Little Joe himself. Many years ago, Hop Sing had made a great error in judgement. A few months after Marie Cartwright had died, he had decided that it was time to remove her robe from Ben’s bedroom. He had washed it and boxed it up to store thinking that it best that the reminder of the woman was removed from where it had been laid out on Ben’s bed for too long. Hop Sing didn’t have any idea that Ben still held onto it due to Marie’s scent still being on the robe. When Ben had asked where it was and had learned that it had been washed and put away, he had been positively inconsolable. Hop Sing had rarely seen Ben Cartwright so livid. It had taken several days before the man would even talk to him. Now, looking over at Ben, Hop Sing realized why he had been awakened to get the robe back. Ben obviously had concluded that he might very well lose the boy just as he had lost Marie.

“Hop Sing vely sorry, Mister Ben. Not mean cause sadness,” He apologized. “Little Joe – he come home – you no worry.”

Ben had to fight back tears as he looked down at his old friend, a man who had helped him raise his youngest son from a baby. He knew that Hop Sing loved the boy almost as if he were his son.

Coughing to clear the heavy emotion from his voice, Ben replied, “Just – well – just let me hold onto this until Joseph returns. We’ll wash it once the boy is back home, okay?”

Hop Sing nodded and forced a smile for the other man’s benefit. “Alight – I wash when Little Joe home, Mister Ben.”

Ben patted the Oriental’s shoulder and turned out of the kitchen. He walked up the backstairs with the robe over his shoulder and took it into his bedroom. Ben knew that it was probably the most ridiculous thing he’d ever done but at that moment he couldn’t have cared less. He just needed something to carry him through the night so he could fall back to sleep.

I never knew someone who passed out more than I had done the last three days. When I came around, I wasn’t sure what I had been doing before the lights went out. I had to think about it for a couple of minutes as I slowly found my way into the chair. It was then that I remembered that kid and the racket he had made. I was glad that he’d left before I had done anything that I would have regretted. I had more regrets than I needed already. My head felt like it was going to explode from within and that made me sick to my stomach again. I tried to think of something that might help the pain. It was then that I recalled what the man at the trading post had said. I was beginning to think that the blood was pooling inside my head and that it would soon kill me. Just the thought of that filled me with a kind of dread I’d never felt before. I walked outside and noticed that the sun had gone down behind the mountain range to the west. All I could manage to do was to quickly feed Cochise and gather a few more pieces of old dry wood for the night. I was glad to have that old coat as the temperatures had plummeted in the last several hours. I carefully placed the wood that I had scavenged down in front of the stove. I was mindful not to drop it this time so the sound wouldn’t set my teeth on edge like it had the previous day. Filling the coffeepot, I set it back on the stove and hoped that I’d feel like drinking it when it was hot enough. That’s when the thought hit me. If my brain was swelling due to the blood inside my head, then maybe I could do something about it? It was probably a stupid idea caused by the type of pain which was driving me insane. But I decided that it was worth a shot, so I headed outside and over to that handpump. I pulled off my coat and shirt and tossed them closer to the door, trying not to get either of them wet. Then I leaned over and dropped my head underneath the spigot. I pumped water over my head until my hair was absolutely soaked and hanging down into my eyes. As ridiculous as it seemed to be standing in the cold drenching myself, it did make me feel just a tad better. It was probably just wishful thinking, but I did it three more times before heading back inside to dry off in front of the stove. I figured that if it hadn’t helped my head then at the very least it might give me pneumonia which I decided would be a far better way to die.

Fletcher Thompson had worked for the Cartwrights ever since Little Joe was a baby. He had worked his way up from hired hand to ranch foreman and liked the job. Fletcher didn’t just tell other hired hands what to do, he would get his hands dirty just like the rest of them. He was known to be both outspoken and cantankerous and he didn’t mind either of those labels. In fact, he liked it better that way so most of the men on the ranch knew to steer clear of him or at the very least thought better than to give him any guff when they were given an assignment by him. Of course, though he was the foreman he had a boss too, and that was Ben Cartwright. The two men were the same age but that was where all similarities stopped. Ben was known to be an upright and compassionate man who showed great concern for people. Fletcher put forth a great deal of effort trying to make folks think that he was completely the opposite. He loved to rile folks up which would then, in turn, cause them to leave him the heck alone. However, he did like the Cartwrights, all of them, especially his boss. Ben was more like a friend, and someone he considered to be his peer. Fletcher knew that if he had need of anything that all he’d have to do was to ask Ben and the man would go to great lengths just to get it for him. Likewise, Ben had learned over the years that Fletcher would do just about anything for him. So now that Ben had given him the task of finding his youngest boy, the man took that job seriously. That didn’t mean Fletcher wouldn’t fuss and cuss about it, but it was a sure thing that if anyone could find Little Joe it was no doubt the same man who would complain about doing so.

Adam had given Fletcher as much information as he could about Joe’s disappearance, and the man had listened intently. He had ruminated on everything that he had been told before heading out the next day in search of Little Joe. Fletcher focused on the fact that the boy had left without taking much with him including his jacket and Colt revolver. Those were good points but not the pieces of information that he had homed in on. He had mainly paid attention to the fact that Little Joe hadn’t had time to gather much in the way of provisions. He knew the boy well. And because of that Fletcher figured that Little Joe would have a hard time getting by without the creature comforts he was used to having. That meant things like prepared food and coffee. He knew that the boy would only have two options as to where to get any supplies in close proximity to the Ponderosa. The only places to get those types of things within thirty miles were Virginia City and a little trading post just a few miles from the northernmost boundary of the ranch. He was hedging his bet on the fact that Little Joe hadn’t gone too far from home and thus he would go to one of those two locations.

“If’n I was running away from my home – which I sure wouldn’t do if I had the soft life that you’ve had, Little Joe – I’d lay low for a spell. Now – I doubt you’d go on into Virginia City where you and that pinto of yours would be spotted right off. No siree I’d go on up to that trading post and duck out of there fast. Let’s just see how well I know you, you lopped eared stump brained ornery little pampered cuss,” Fletcher muttered and kicked at the sides of his mount. It was still early enough that he could get to the trading post by sometime that afternoon.

The portly fellow behind the counter at the trading post looked over at the unkept man as he approached. Fletcher, being the kind who didn’t give one hoot about his appearance, wore a shirt that needed a good washing, pants that looked equally as dirty, and sported at least a week’s growth of beard on his face. He smiled broadly knowing who it was. Wiping his hands on his shop apron he readied to welcome him.

“Fletcher, you old codger – how have you been?”

Nodding to the other man, Fletcher shook his outstretched hand and replied, “Don’t you “old codger” me, Farley! You’ve got better than thirty years on me!”

The owner of the store laughed heartily at the boisterous foreman. He had known him for many years, and Fletcher had been one of his first patrons when he had opened the trading post some ten years earlier.

“You still a foreman over at the Ponderosa or have they wised up and booted you out?”

Fletcher shook his head and wearily leaned against the counter. “I ain’t got time for your foolish talk. I need some information if you can stop running your mouth long enough to listen.”

“Okay – okay. Go ahead and spill it.”

“I’m looking for a kid – about yey tall and yey wide,” Fletcher motioned with his hands.

“That ain’t much of a description,” Farley groaned.

“I’m not the kind who pays close attention to other men. Now if it was a female type I could tell you all you’d ever need to know right down to the size of her corset,” He paused and looked a bit apprehensively around the store. “The old shrew ain’t around, is she?”

Farley busted out laughing but then stopped abruptly and cast a precarious glance towards the back room before answering. He knew that Fletcher was referring to his wife. “Naw, Shirley is across the street at the livery.”

“Oh? You paying to get new horseshoes put on her?” he quipped.

“Better stop with the insults, Fletcher – the wife might just pop in here at any moment and take a piece of stove wood to the both of us!” he warned.

“Okay – getting back to what I come for. The best I can tell you is that the kid’s seventeen and has got a bunch of brown curly hair and rides a pinto. He’s got a Cartwright brand on his hindquarters.”

“Never met any of them as far as I can recall. Of course, I know all about them and the Ponderosa. Let’s see – yeah – there was a kid in here. I guess it was two days ago that he came by, and he pretty much fits that description. He didn’t give me a name but, come to think of it, he left on a pinto.”

“Did he say where he’s staying?” Fletcher’s ears had perked up after hearing what the other man had offered.

Farley shook his head and answered, “No, didn’t say a heck of a whole lot. But he was feeling poorly. He had an awful headache he said.”

“Kid deserves a headache after making me chase his ornery pampered hide trying to fetch him back to his pa. What did he get by way of supplies?”

“Not too much. I sold him some coffee and beans – some utensils and candles.”

“That all?”

Farley thought back to what Little Joe had purchased and added, “A coffee pot and cup and oh – yeah – kid got a coat off me. I didn’t charge him for it because he looked cold and was just in his shirtsleeves. If I’d known he was a Cartwright, I’d have shown him a coat that was brand new instead of that old moth-eaten thing!”

Fletcher chuckled and nodded, “I just bet you would – and charged him a pretty penny for it too! Now which way did he leave – did you take notice of it?”

The man walked past the counter and opened the door, signaling his friend to join him. Fletcher moved over next to him.

“The pinto was right out here in front, and he rode off that way,” he said and pointed towards the south.

Fletcher patted the other man’s shoulder and smiled. “Thanks, Farley.”

“You ain’t buying anything from me?” Farley asked frowning as he watched his friend stepping out onto the porch.

“Got what I come for,” He replied tersely. “Now why don’t you get back to your work – you lazy old coot, before your bride hits you with one of her new metal shoes?”

Farley just shook his head and grinned. He could clearly see that Fletcher hadn’t changed a bit. He was still just as rude and crude as he always had been.

“Stay out of my store!” He shouted to Fletcher, though he wore a big smile on his face while doing so. There was just something about that ornery uncouth man that he had always found to be endearing.

Fletcher waved and walked away laughing. He swung up into his saddle and turned his horse to the south. *** You stupid little varmint! You’re gonna make me hunt down your sorry butt all day, aren’t you? I ain’t got time for this foolishness. Why old Ben wants you back is beyond me. He’s already got two shiftless sons back home, what’s he need with another one? *** he sighed and kicked his horse’s sides, increasing its pace to a full gallop.

While the three Cartwrights back at the Ponderosa continued to search for Little Joe, Fletcher was meticulously combing the area due south of the trading post. There weren’t many homesteads in that area, but he found a few that he checked out. However, it wasn’t until he’d stopped at the very last ranch that he finally had some luck. He rode up into the yard in front of the three-room cabin and dismounted. A man who appeared to be in his forties and dressed in rancher’s garb walked outside and onto his front porch after hearing the approach of a rider.

“Something I can help you with?” He asked, smiling at the stranger.

Fletcher neared the man and held out his hand to him. The two men shook and he replied, “I’m looking for someone and wondered if maybe you’d seen him?”

“Don’t get many visitors around here,” he returned. “Name’s Vinton Kent.”

“You can just call me Fletcher,” he introduced himself. “Looking for a boy – about seventeen. Kind of on the puny side and rides a pinto.”

A teenaged boy had just walked out of the barn upon hearing that there was company.

“No haven’t seen him. Like I said we don’t get many visitors,” Vinton returned.

“Hey, Pa!” the boy called out excitedly as he ran over to the two men.

“Billy – no shouting – we’ve got company,” The boy’s father corrected him.

“Oh – sorry, Pa.”

“This man here asked if we’d seen a young man around here who rides a pinto,” Vinton told his son.

“Pa – I seen him!”

Fletcher turned and stared at the blonde headed boy. “Where?”

“He’s staying at the old Winter’s cabin. Don’t you remember me telling you that yesterday, Pa? I met him while I was out hunting.”

Vinton patted his son’s head and nodded, “Slipped my mind. You met him at that old rundown cabin and he’s got a pinto – is that right, Son?”

“Yeah, Pa. I was out hunting when I saw that somebody must’ve moved into that place. I spotted his horse right off. But the man said that he was feeling poorly so I didn’t get much more than his name.”

“Who’d he say he was?” Fletcher questioned, hoping that his search was about to be over.

“Just said his name was Joe. That was all that I could get out of him.”

Fletcher hurried down the porch and mounted his horse. “How far to that cabin, Boy?”

Billy pointed to the west and said, “About three miles that way. You can’t miss it if you stay on that old dirt path. Hey — want me to go with you, Mister?”

“No thanks – I can manage. I appreciate the help,” Fletcher nodded to Vinton and his son and then hurriedly rode out of the yard. He wanted to get to Little Joe before sunset which was fast approaching. He had some things to say to the boy and none of them would be very kind.

Little Joe had just finished tending to his horse and had gone back inside the cabin. He sat there at the table and tried to catch his breath. His head was absolutely killing him. He leaned forward in the chair and tried to sip the water he’d left inside his cup. It was almost sunset and it had been the roughest day he’d had since falling off the bronc. Joe had tried to will away the pain, but it just kept mounting. He wasn’t sure how many times he had blacked out that day, but he had found himself unexpectedly staring up from his awkward position on the floor more than once. Joe was looking forward to the sun going down and the cabin growing darker hoping that it might help tap down the agony from his wound. Closing his eyes all that he could do was to pray that his suffering would soon be over even if that meant his death. He hadn’t heard the rider out front, but he did hear the loud banging on the door which sent a dagger like sensation throughout his head.

*** Who in the hell is it this time? As far off the beaten path as this rundown cabin is you’d think I’d be left alone! I hope it’s not that noisy kid again. *** He thought to himself as he stood from the table. Once again more loud banging assaulted his ears. Joe wanted to call out to whoever was out there and tell them to just go away but his protests would only make matters worse. Little Joe walked to the door and grabbed his rifle before pulling it open.

“Little Joe!” Fletcher shouted, taking one step inside the cabin. “You deaf? Didn’t you hear me thumping on this here door?” He fumed and scowled at the boy.

“Hold it down,” Joe whispered insistently.

Fletcher was angry at the boy for making him hunt for him all day and for making his pa worry about his whereabouts. “Don’t you tell me to hold it down, Boy!” he shouted again.

Joe’s face flinched upon hearing the increased volume of the foreman’s rebuke. “I said hold it down, Fletcher. What do you want?”

“What do I want?” Fletcher returned as he fought his desire to cuff the boy good. “Well, I guess I want to hit you – that’s what I want! But I guess I’ll leave that for your Pa to do. And I hope old Ben wears you out with that belt of his after that stunt you pulled! You can’t get much lower than to sock your pa in the face and then hightail it out of there so’s he can’t do nothing to you. You lily livered little cuss! I thought you had more guts than that – I sure was wrong about you, Boy!”

“Get out,” Joe fired back but kept his tone of voice lowered. The other man’s ear-shattering insults were slicing their way right through his head, and he couldn’t take much more of it.

Fletcher drew closer to the boy and clamped a strong hand down onto his shoulder. “Don’t you tell me to get out you no account little idiot! And I don’t give two figs that you’re a Cartwright. You need to mind your elders. I swear if I had swung on my pa, I’d have no teeth in my mouth after I’d done it. Now get your things before I start cussing. We’re going back to the house right now!”

Unable to control his actions due to the fierceness of the pain from his head injury and what the man’s loud remarks had done to him, Little Joe unexpectedly shoved Fletcher out of the cabin. The man missed the porch altogether and landed on the ground having the wind knocked out of him. He looked up from where he had ended up flat on his back in the dirt. He couldn’t believe that the boy would have done what he had. Little Joe would have known better than to rile him.

Slowly pulling himself up off the ground and his face taking on an indignant appearance, Fletcher called up to the boy. “I’m done with you, Little Joe! You can just rot out here as far as I care. It’d serve you right!” He yelled as he quickly turned and mounted his horse. The man needed to leave before he did some real damage to his boss’ youngest son.

Not bothering to respond to what Fletcher had said to him, Joe simply walked back inside the cabin and closed the door. He took two steps towards the table and passed out cold.

The three Cartwrights had endured yet another unproductive day with no clues as to Little Joe’s whereabouts. With heavy hearts they turned in a little after ten p.m. after deciding to get an early start the following day. Ben was about as played out as his sons had ever seen him. He hadn’t eaten a single thing on his dinner plate that night and all that he could talk about was finding his youngest. Hoss and Adam continued to reassure their father that Little Joe would turn up soon but even they were beginning to have their doubts about ever finding the boy.

An hour after the three men had gone to sleep a loud thump on the door awakened everyone inside the house including Hop Sing.

“What you want? Vely late!” Hop Sing reprimanded the foreman as he led him inside the house.

“Gotta see Ben right now, Hop Sing!”

“Maybe so you come in morning?” The cook offered as politely as he could at eleven at night.

Fletcher shook his head, getting annoyed with the Oriental who he usually got along with very well. “No, Hop Sing – need to talk to Ben now! Go fetch him for me.”

“Fletcher?” Ben called from the top of the staircase. “What is it?” He questioned as he hurried down the stairs and over to the man. “Did you find the boy?” he inquired breathlessly. He studied Fletcher’s face and noticed that it looked as though the man was hopping mad and just about ready to start cussing.

“Yeah, I found him alright,” he nodded. “But he’s in danger, Ben.”

Before Ben could say another word, he heard footsteps and turned to see his sons standing over on the stairs.

“Did you find Joe?” Hoss called to the foreman as he and Adam hurried down to the living room.

“Now I ain’t gonna take questions from this whole house, Ben! You call off those boys of yours if you want to hear this!” He fumed.

Turning around momentarily, Ben waved for his sons to simmer down. He spun back around to face the man and continued, “Okay—now you said that Joseph is in some kind of danger? What kind of danger?”

“Someone’s gonna try to kill him, Ben,” he answered, his face forming into a deep scowl.

“Kill him? Who’s going to try to kill the boy?”

“I am that’s who!” Fletcher yelled and came close to spitting on the floor but stopped and rethought his gesture. “You’d better go fetch that little brat and keep him out of my way or I tell you I’m gonna shoot him down. No – I take that back. I’m gonna tear him limb from limb and then shoot him!”
Adam and Hoss exchanged grins over what the man had said. It would seem that their little brother had done something to Fletcher which had really upset him.

“Come on over to the fireplace and get warmed up. We’ll get you some coffee,” Ben offered trying to calm the man down some, so he’d be able to tell them where the boy was and what he had done to make him so angry.

“Don’t want any of your blasted coffee! I want to go to sleep. That little maverick of yours threw me off a porch and now my back hurts. I swear if he’s made my lumbago act up, I’m gonna —,” he stopped his tirade after getting a good look at his friend’s face. He knew that the man was out of his head with worry over his youngest and decided that he’d fuss more after the kid was brought back home. “Just go fetch him, Ben. He’s up at that old run-down cabin just three or four miles north of the Ponderosa near Simmons Falls. His pinto is out front in a small rope corral you can’t miss it.”

“Is the boy okay?” Ben asked hoping for good news. He could use some after listening to the foreman’s loud tirade.

“He was okay enough to shove me off that porch!” Fletcher was back to being incensed due to all that Little Joe had put him through.

“I’m sorry,” Ben apologized and patted the man’s shoulder.

“Not as sorry as that little varmint’s going to be the next time I see him. Might just as well wait until daybreak to go fetch him. Doesn’t look like the kid’s going anywhere.”

“Thank you for finding him, Fletcher. You go on and turn in. Just take the next few days off so that back of yours will ease up some,” Ben commiserated with the man.

“I planned on that – didn’t need your permission,” He answered gruffly and pulled the door open. “You’d better tell Little Joe to hide once he’s home – because if I see him –,” he trailed off again. Fletcher decided to save his threats for when the boy was home and within range.

“I’ll tell him,” Ben nodded and had to fight back his amusement over the foreman’s antics.

“Night,” Fletcher muttered and walked out into the darkness. He headed right to the bunkhouse and hoped to forget all about ever knowing one Little Joe Cartwright.

“Well, Boys – I guess we’ll go fetch your brother in the morning. Might just as well get some shuteye,” Ben called across the room.

Adam and Hoss noticed that their father suddenly looked as though he had shaved ten years off his appearance and that he happened to be smiling for the first time in almost a week. It was good to see him like that again. The three men told Hop Sing goodnight for the second time and walked up the stairs.

Hurrying through their breakfast the following day, the three men saddled two mounts and hitched up a team of horses to get the buckboard ready.

“I still don’t understand why you’re taking the buckboard, Pa?” Hoss questioned as he swung up to his saddle. “Little Joe has Cochise, so wouldn’t it be faster to have him ride back here with us?”

Ben shook his head and grabbed the reins as he climbed up into the wagon. “Joseph is going to ride with me. I don’t want to take the chance that the boy might run off again. After going through all this, I’m going to keep my eyes on Joseph. Besides this way the two of us will have time to do some talking on the way back here.”

Adam stared down at his father and smiled knowingly. “We’ll help you, Pa. Once we get to that little delinquent, we’re not going to let him leave again!”

“Let’s go, Boys,” Ben urged and slapped the reins to send the team forward.

Once again, I didn’t exactly know what had happened the previous night. I woke up to find myself face-down on the floor again and simply crawled over to my pallet of pine boughs and blankets that wreaked. I guess I passed slap out again shortly thereafter. I could see the light streaming through those lopsided walls again, so I figured that it was the start of another agonizing day. After my run-in with Fletcher, I wished that I could just mount Cochise and ride off before anyone else showed up. Unfortunately, I couldn’t manage that. The way that my head felt I didn’t think it was possible that I’d last another day. I dragged myself over to the stove and decided to try to get it lit so I could once again reheat the same pot of coffee I’d been trying to get down for days. Just standing there at the stove made me wish that I’d had something to poke that hole into my skull myself. I guess it was a good thing that there weren’t any sharp implements inside my saddlebags. The pain wasn’t easing up, and I pretty much guessed that the blood under my scalp wasn’t dissipating. I don’t know how long it took but I’d finally got the stove hot enough that the coffee was ready. Taking the tin cup over to the table I sank down and closed my eyes. A couple minutes later I had passed out again.

Pulling up in front of the dilapidated old cabin, Ben glanced over at his two sons. He knew what they were thinking and he wasn’t going along with it.

“Boys,” Ben began as he stepped down from the buckboard. “Wait outside while I go and talk to your brother.”

Adam and Hoss were quick to dismount and hurried over to their father.

“No, Pa!” Hoss protested. “Little Joe knocked you down the last time you were alone with him. We’re not going to let him get the chance to do it again.”

“Hoss is right,” Adam nodded as he stared into his father’s eyes. “How about letting Hoss and me go in there and bring the kid out to you?”

Frowning due to his son’s attempt at protecting him, he returned sharply. “Do the two of you really think that I can’t handle that boy?”

“Joe isn’t in his right mind, Pa. If he was, he wouldn’t have thrown a punch at you! On top of that it was just yesterday that he knocked Fletcher down!” Hoss exclaimed, his face filled with worry over his father’s safety.

“Now listen – the both of you!” Ben called out exasperation in his tone of voice. “I am your father and you will listen to me. It’s bad enough that I have one boy who is disobedient I don’t need the two of you to act up too.”

Hoss and Adam exchanged frowns and then caught the stern glare their father was sending their way.

“As I’ve told you – I’m going in there and talk to the boy. We’ll be out shortly – but until then you two wait right here,” Ben pointed to where his sons were standing and then headed towards the cabin. Drawing in a deep breath, unsure as to how he’d find the boy inside, he pulled the door open and cautiously entered.

Ben cast an uneasy glance around the darkened room. He spotted the pallet of blankets on the floor and shook his head over the thought of his son sleeping there for days. It wasn’t long before he became aware of the atmosphere inside the cabin. It had a strange ethereal feel to it. Ben couldn’t explain why the dim light in the room had suddenly taken on a sacred aura to it. He felt as though he was walking towards an altar in some old cathedral and not merely crossing the floor to check on his youngest son. As he drew closer it all began to make complete sense to him. Ben had always believed in the sanctity of life, and he had been gifted three lives from three different women. There wasn’t anything in the world more sacred to him than his sons and one of them had been missing from the fold for far too long. It was time to reclaim the boy no matter what had happened between the two of them. Fatherly instinct, his well-developed ability to see past the superficial had begun to kick in. Deep down inside he knew that whatever was going on with his youngest was much more than Joseph just wanting to escape from being punished due to his actions there on the ranch.

There wasn’t a sound other than the faint breathing coming from the boy sitting there at the table His son’s head was resting on top of his folded arms and he hadn’t shown any sign that he had heard his father entering the room. Moving closer and getting a better look at him, Ben wondered why Joseph was wearing an old gray rumpled-looking coat which appeared to be at least three sizes too big for him. Unsure as to how the boy would react to his presence, he did the only thing that he could think of at the time. He gently swept his right hand across Joe’s left shoulder until it came to rest on his neck. Then his fingers rhythmically began to knead the tight muscles there. His ministrations were rewarded by the boy’s soft groan and an almost imperceptible nod of his head.

“Joseph?” He called out, intuitively using a hushed tone of voice. Ben just presumed that there was a need for quiet, though he didn’t exactly know why. “Joseph – it’s Pa.” He continued to massage the boy’s neck hoping to illicit a response.

“Pa?” Joe responded, his voice sounding both hoarse and dry. He attempted to pull himself out from underneath the intense pain which was weighing him down. “Pa?” He whispered again and his father could tell that he was very disoriented.

“I’m right here beside you, Son,” Ben returned softly, never taking his hand off the boy’s neck. He continued his motions, still massaging Joe’s neck hoping to instill calm in him. Ben was unclear what was going on with his son and how he would react once he became fully cognizant that he was no longer alone in the room. The last time he had laid eyes on Joseph, the boy had reached out and struck him. However, Ben wasn’t going to condemn him for his actions until he heard the reason for them directly from the boy’s own mouth.

Lifting his head a tad higher, Joe whispered, “Pa – I didn’t mean to — I swear to you I didn’t mean to do it.” Though his son’s words had been said in a hushed tone of voice they had still come out with a palpable feeling of sorrow to them.

“Easy, Boy – easy. Everything’s going to be okay,” Ben crooned still lowering the volume to his voice.

“I should’ve told you, Pa – it’s all my fault. I should’ve told you right after it happened.”

“Told me what, Son? What happened?”

“That day out at the breaking corral. I fell off one of the horses, Pa. I fell and hit the back of my head on a rock. I didn’t realize how bad I’d hurt myself. I should’ve told you — I’m sorry, Pa.”

Ben’s face froze up with fear due to the frightening remembrance of the boy’s mother and how she had taken a fall from a horse too; the fall which had ended her life. “Oh, Joseph!” He gasped. “You mean you’ve been lying here hurt this whole time?” Just the very idea that his son had been alone and in pain from a head wound all week made Ben’s chest seize up with an all-too-familiar kind of foreboding.

Little Joe nodded as he placed his hands over his eyes trying to combat the blinding pain. “I don’t know why I hit you, Pa. I swear I didn’t remember doing it that night – and I still don’t remember throwing that punch at you. I only know that you were there in my bedroom talking to me one minute and then the next minute Hoss and Adam were yelling at me about something. When I saw you lying there on the floor, I had no idea that it was because of what I had done to you.” The tears which he had purposely kept at bay were suddenly coursing down Joe’s cheeks. He was contending with the severe pain that was causing his head to throb along with the dreadful reminder of what he had done to his father; the man he loved more than his own life. He dropped his head back down on his arms and wept. “Pa – Pa I’d sooner die than to hurt you,” he choked out, so swept up in the fact that up till then he never thought he’d see his father again. All week long Joe had truly believed that he was going to die from his injury.

“Oh, Joseph,” Ben whispered and carefully placed his hand there on top of his son’s head. He gently brushed back the unruly curls and said, “I know that, Son. Once more I knew that you didn’t mean to do it — even that night when it happened. I know you’d never purposely try to hurt me, Boy. But none of that matters to me right now. All I care about is you. Now, how bad is that head wound of yours?”

It had taken a tremendous effort on his part, but Joe finally lifted his head off his arms and tried to home in on his father’s face. Though the cabin was dark the sunlight streaming through the cracks in the lopsided walls provided just enough light. Pa was kneeling alongside him, so that they were face to face. As far as Joe was concerned his father should be furious with him over what he had done. But instead of seeing anger or even hurt on the man’s face Pa wore the same expression that Little Joe had seen there all his life. His father was looking at him with a calm loving smile on his lips. The next minute Pa swept him up into his arms, as he whispered that everything was going to be alright. Joe didn’t speak for a long while and neither did his father. He knew that they needed to get some things straightened out between them but the move on his father’s part had been just what Little Joe had yearned for all along. No longer was there a matter of reconciliation to address because Joe realized that he’d already found it there inside his father’s embrace.

Ben finally spoke again in the same soothing tone of voice, “Now tell me about the pain, Joseph,” He insisted and pulled the boy back ever so slightly trying not to hurt him with the motion. It was dreadfully clear to Ben that Little Joe was suffering terribly due to his injury; however, he needed some facts before knowing how to proceed with his care.

“Pa – right now I’m trying hard not to blackout again. There’s never any warning before one of those spells hits me. It blindsides me and there’s nothing I can do to stop it once it starts up.”

“How long do they last – those blackouts of yours? Do you have any idea?”

“Sometimes I’m out for hours, Pa – and sometimes it just knocks me out for a few minutes,” Joe answered sullenly staring into his father’s compassion filled eyes.

“And the pain, Joseph? How bad is it?”

Little Joe tried once again to prevent the tears from leaving his eyes. He bit at his bottom lip as his whole face trembled. “It’s bad, Pa – really bad. Sometimes it’s all that I can do just to remember to breathe. My head is killing me, and it’s not stopped all this time. There are things that make it worse — I can’t take sunlight – or even lamplight. I’ve been using candles, but sometimes they set me off too. But even worse than light is sound – any sound but especially loud noises. Oh, Pa! It sends a sharp stabbing pain straight through to my brain,” He choked out.

“Hush now — it’s all going to be okay,” Ben attempted to calm his boy with his deep baritone voice. His thoughts went back to that night in Little Joe’s bedroom, and suddenly it all made some sense to him. “Joseph, that night – the night that you left. I was talking to you – just like you remember me doing. But I got so aggravated with you because you wouldn’t level with me about why you’d been acting so strangely. I got so irritated that I put my hand on your shoulder and gave you a little shove to get you to lie back so I could check you over. I hadn’t done it intentionally, but I think that little push made you hit the back of your head on your headboard. It was only then that you flailed your fist out at me. Your head hitting that hard wood must’ve set you off. It must’ve been the fact that I did that along with my shouting at you that caused you to do what you did, Son. I didn’t deliberately cause you to hit that wound of yours no more than you deliberately meant to hit me. It just happened.”

Forcing his eyes closed due to the tears that were spilling out from them, Joe shook his head and remorsefully replied, “Pa – no matter what you did that night – I had no business hitting you.”

“Son – none of that was your fault. And now that we know why it happened, we’re just going to put all that behind us. As far as I’m concerned, it never happened. Now – getting back to that pain. It hasn’t let up at all – not since you got hurt?”

“No, Pa, and I can’t hardly stand it anymore. But I’m not going to let them cut a hole in my head. I just can’t!”

Ben stared at his son, perplexed by what he had just said. “Joseph? What are you talking about?”

“I met a man whose cousin had the exact same thing happen to him. He fell off a horse and hit his head on a rock. The doctor said it caused bleeding inside of his head and if he hadn’t gotten a hole poked through his skull to drain off that blood he would have died. Pa – he had the same blinding headaches – the blackouts – the agonizing pain as I have now. But – I just can’t do it – I can’t let them cut me up like that,” Joe insisted, his voice steeped in panic. It was then that he felt his father’s strong arms pulling him to his chest trying to allay his worry.

“Joseph – no two situations are ever the same. Just because that man fell from a horse and hit his head doesn’t mean that you have the same type of an injury that he had. It’s never a good idea to try to come up with your own diagnosis. Let’s bring you on home and have Doc take a look at you, okay? I’m sure that he’ll be able to fix you up.”

“But what if he says that he needs to cut a hole in my head, Pa?” He continued, his voice trembling due to his ever-increasing fear.

Ben softly combed his fingers through the boy’s hair attempting to ease his fear. “It’s going to be alright – have faith, Son,” he whispered.

“I’ve been trying, Pa – but it’s been so hard. I’ve been praying every night that I’d wake up, and my head would be better – but it’s only gotten worse.”

Holding the boy close to him, Ben wished that he could absorb his son’s pain into his own body. He knew that Little Joe had always toughed out any injury with very little complaint and he had always been brave concerning any treatment that he had been forced to endure. But this time the boy was overwhelmed and exhausted due to days of extreme and unrelenting pain. Ben reasoned that Joe might not be thinking very clearly and he couldn’t blame him. The prospect of having a hole drilled into their skull would quite naturally scare anyone.

Ben gently lifted his son’s chin and stared into his eyes. “Why did you leave home Joseph? You shouldn’t have tried to handle all this by yourself.”

“I couldn’t get what I’d done to you out of my head, Pa. I was afraid. I was afraid that I might end up hurting you again. So, I tried to find a place that would be far enough away from you that you’d never be able to find me,” He confessed sadly.

Tilting his head a bit, a smile filtered down onto Ben’s lips. He placed the palm of his right hand onto Little Joe’s face and whispered, “Always know that I would find a way to get to where you are. Joseph, there’s no place that far.”

Little Joe read the determination on his father’s face and nodded over to him that he understood what he had just said. He finally realized that Pa would have searched for him no matter how hard he had tried to hide from him. It was now obvious to Little Joe that his father loved him unconditionally no matter what had transpired between the two of them. He brushed away his tears on the sleeve of his coat and drew in a deep breath knowing that it was finally time to go back home and face whatever his prognosis might be.

Ben coughed into his fist to clear the heavy emotion in his voice and whispered, “I’m going outside for just a minute and then the four of us are going to head home. You just sit right here and don’t move. I won’t be long.”

“Four? You mean Hoss and Adam are outside?”

“Sure, they are. They’ve missed you too, you know?” Ben insisted as he stood from where he had been kneeling next to his son.

“But Pa –,” Joe paused, his expression revealing his worry over the prospect of being confronted by his brothers. “They’re both mad at me because of what I did to you.”

Ben dropped a hand down onto the boy’s shoulder and offered a reassuring smile. “I’ll clear up all of that before we get you out into the buckboard. Now you just rest for a minute – and stop worrying.”

I watched as my father walked out through the cabin’s only door. I had so much on my mind at the time that I couldn’t think straight. I wondered what my brothers would have to say to me once I made it outside. Pa had told me that he’d explain everything to them, and I knew that he would try his best. But no matter what, the plain fact was that I had hit him and there wasn’t much of anything that he could say to dispute that. I had a hard time believing that Pa had even found me that day. One minute I had passed out cold and the next minute there he was telling me that everything was going to be alright! It was just like one of those heroes who always seems to save the day in the final chapter when everything seems hopeless just like in one of Adam’s novels. But that was my pa, he’d always been my hero anyhow. But I hated to bring this kind of trouble back home with me especially because my future was uncertain. I didn’t even know if I was going to live. The pain had increased so much over the last few days that I didn’t think that I could take too much more. I knew that Doctor Martin would be summoned to the ranch house and he’d do whatever he could to help me. I just hoped that didn’t mean drilling a hole through my skull. Of course, by then I almost wished that he would suggest doing that if it meant that I’d finally be free of the fierce pain that wouldn’t ease up. I was now going to be in the capable hands of the good doctor and under the overly protective supervision of my father who wasn’t about to let me die if he could help it. The rest, like Pa had told me, was a matter of faith.

“Adam, you go fetch Doc and get home as quickly as you can,” Ben said as he watched his eldest climbing up into his saddle.

“I will, Pa. Hey will you tell the kid –,” Adam paused as he searched for the right words to say. His father had explained it all to both him and Hoss and now he was filled with regret for the things that he had said about Little Joe.

“I’ll tell him,” Ben nodded knowing full well where his son was going with his statement without even having to complete it.

“Okay—see you three at home. Take it easy getting back,” Adam called and kicked at Sport’s sides hurrying to get to the doctor.

Hoss set his hand on his father’s shoulder in a show of support. It was very easy to tell that Pa was worried about Joe’s condition. “We’ll get him all fixed up, Pa. Don’t worry – Little Joe is about as tough as they come.”

“Thank you, Boy,” Ben nodded gratefully. “I’m going to bring him out now. You go and tie Cochise’s reins to the back of the wagon.”

“I could tote Joe out here for you, Pa.”

Staring up at the sky Ben wished that there was more cloud cover. He knew that sunlight would affect his son’s injury. “No, Hoss. I’ll bring your brother out here. But we could use your slicker.”

Hoss looked over at his father confused. “Huh?”

“Just get it out from behind your saddle, Son. I’ll have your brother put it over him to block this sunlight some. Now remember – just whisper if you’ve got to say something to him, okay? Noise of any kind makes his head hurt worse.”

“Okay, Pa. I’ll put it inside the wagon and then get Cochise ready,” He replied and turned towards his horse.

“Thanks, Hoss,” Ben patted the big man’s shoulder and turned to go back into the cabin.

“Adam left to fetch Doc and he wanted me to tell you that he’s sorry. In fact, both your brothers are sorry. But they didn’t understand what you’ve been going through any more than I did,” Ben whispered as he drew closer to his youngest. “Hoss is getting Cochise ready to leave.”

“Okay, Pa,” Joe returned and hesitantly pulled himself up from the chair.

Ben was quick to catch the boy’s elbow to steady him. “Let’s take this slow, Joseph. There’s no need to rush.”

“I’ll be alright,” Joe nodded and soon felt his father’s hand moving from his elbow to his shoulder to guide him outside. The two of them started towards the door when, without any warning, the boy passed out cold.

Caught by surprise, Ben just barely had enough time to catch his son before he hit the floor. He wrapped his arms around Little Joe and eased him down.

*** Oh, Joseph! *** he thought and his face took on a stricken appearance due to his fear for the boy. He knew that he’d have to have some help, so he carefully spread his son out on the floor and hurried to the door.

A few minutes later Hoss had his little brother held in his arms and carried him to the bed of the wagon where Pa had spread the blankets that Joe had used to sleep on. He realized that it wasn’t much by way of a cushion, but he presumed that it was better than nothing.

“I got him,” Hoss whispered and gently laid his brother out inside the buckboard. “I was thinking – maybe we should tie Chub’s and Cochise’s reins to the railing and that way I could drive the wagon while you sit back here in case Little Joe comes back around?”

“Good idea, Son,” Ben agreed and crawled inside the bed of the buckboard. “Least ways I’ll be able to block the sun if he comes to before we get home.”

Hoss hurried to get the horses squared away and then stepped up to the bench seat. “I can’t say that it ain’t gonna be a bumpy ride, Pa – but I’ll do the best that I can to avoid the ruts in the road.”

“Hopefully your little brother will stay under for a while,” Ben called to his son and then leaned back against the bed of the wagon. Easing out of his vest, he rolled it up and placed it underneath his son’s head to cushion it some. Then he simply sat there next to Little Joe and prayed. He knew that it was the only proactive thing that he could do for his boy until they were safely back home.

I came back around to the ear shattering sound of a team of horses and the creaking from the wooden bed of the buckboard. I was about to jump out of the wagon and run away from the noise until I felt Pa’s hands on my shoulders trying to hold me down. With one look at his face, I knew that he was going to do his darndest to keep me from bolting. It was then that I spotted the bruise that I’d left on Pa’s face due to that punch I had thrown almost a week ago. It gave me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and only made me feel worse than I already did at the time; and that was a lot. How my father could be so forgiving was beyond me. He had said that as far as he was concerned, I hadn’t hit him. Pa was going to forget that it had ever happened. Maybe he could forget all about it, but I knew that I never would.

“It’s okay, Joseph – just settle down now.”

Squeezing his eyes closed Joe answered his father’s plea, “Pa — the noise – it’s killing me.”

Ben looked up at the sky and noticed that the sun was beginning to set. The ride from the cabin to the ranch house would’ve taken about two hours on horseback but it was going to take a whole lot longer by wagon. Ben knew that they still had a good hour or so to go.

Hoss turned around in his seat upon hearing his brother’s voice. He could easily spot the pain spreading all over the boy’s face and it grieved his heart. Hoss knew that Little Joe had been put through the mill due to his head wound according to what Pa had relayed.

“Won’t be long now, Short Shanks. I’ll get you home just as quick as I can,” He whispered soothingly.

“Here, Son,” Ben began and grabbed Hoss’ slicker. “I can’t do much about the sound of the team of horses but maybe if you’ll hold this up to your eyes it’ll help with the light.”

“Pa – it’s bad,” Joe groaned as he accepted the slicker and held it up to his face.

About that time, I felt my father gently easing me into his arms. He was leaning against the back of the wagon bed with his legs stretched out in front of him. Not knowing what else to do for me, he made a last-ditch effort to provide some relief by holding me to his chest and tightly wrapping his arms around my shoulders. I could tell that he was trying his best to shield me from the pain I was going through. He couldn’t. I turned my head and buried my face on top of my father’s right shoulder and then I closed my eyes again. Pa’s fingers gently combed through my hair like he was trying to push aside the pain from my wound. I knew that old familiar gesture very well. Pa did it all the time, especially when I was injured or sick. I guess he’d always known that it would help settle me down, and it was working once again. I attempted to drown out the sounds around me and soon all I heard was my father’s breathing and every now and then his heartbeat. It was enough. Then the only thing I was concentrating on was how lucky I was to have my family. My brothers had obviously forgiven me. I could tell it by the way Hoss looked at me the minute he realized that I was awake. Pa had told me earlier that Adam had said that he was sorry and I believed him. That helped. But the main thing that gave me the will to try to endure all the pain I was dealing with was the fact that my father, the one who I had blindsided with that punch, hadn’t missed a beat in assuring me that I was forgiven. No matter what Doc Martin was going to tell me as far as a prognosis, at least I had all that going for me. Not everyone is lucky enough to have the kind of family that I have. It’s like Pa has always said, we are all blessed. He’s right.

The buckboard pulled up in front of the ranch house later that evening. Though the fact that he was unconscious at the time worried Ben, at least Little Joe was oblivious to the fact that they were home, and that he was being carried inside. Ben was sure that the boy, though badly injured, would have protested the fact that his pa was carrying him up the stairs. He was relieved to have gotten Little Joe into his bed without any complaints.

Removing first his son’s boots and then his belt, Ben tried to make Little Joe as comfortable as he could manage for the present. He’d wait on getting a nightshirt on him until after the doctor checked him over good.

“What do we do now?” Hoss asked as he watched his father easing his brother underneath the sheet and blanket.

Ben sighed and shook his head wearily. He turned and faced his middle boy. “I guess all we can do now is just wait for Doc to get here. I suppose we should tell Hop Sing about the noise situation, so he doesn’t come up here yelling out in Chinese. I don’t want this boy waking up to that.”

Hoss turned to the door, “I’ll go tell him, Pa. And I’ll see if he can fetch us some coffee while we wait.”

“Thanks, Son,” Ben smiled gratefully and then sank down into the chair next to the bed.

Doctor Paul Martin stood in the living room of the ranch house later that evening and listened to what Ben had to say about what Little Joe had gotten himself into this time. He had doctored the youngest Cartwright boy ever since the day he was born and had spent many nights there inside his bedroom. There had been many suggestions over the years that Paul should have his own bedroom and that perhaps he should set up his office there since he had been such a regular visitor to the ranch.

“Five days, is that right?” Paul asked, his face showing concern.

Ben nodded, “Yes – he got hurt and left that same night. We only found and brought him home today. Joe says the pain is something awful and the slightest noise sets him off. He’s apparently had spells where he blacks out cold without warning. I witnessed him having one today just as we were getting ready to leave that cabin where he’d been staying. And the boy had two more on the way here. Light bothers him too, Paul.”

Doc mulled over what the worried father had told him and finally shook his head. “Doesn’t sound much like a concussion, Ben. It’s gone on too long and the fact that the pain’s only gotten worse isn’t normal. Well – let’s go see the boy.”

Ben led the other man over to the stairs, and they walked up to Little Joe’s room where both Hoss and Adam were waiting.

“Sounds like he’s just coming around now, Pa,” Hoss whispered and moved away from the bed to give the doctor some room.

“Why don’t you two boys go grab some supper? I’ll be down just as soon as Paul’s done.”

Adam stood from the chair and gave his father’s shoulder a reassuring pat before leaving the room. “The kid will be alright, Pa – don’t worry.”

Ben nodded as he watched his sons walking out into the hall. He turned his attention back to the boy on the bed.

Paul listened to his patient’s heart as Little Joe slowly made his way back to consciousness. He checked for a fever and shook his head when he noticed the questioning look on Ben’s face. “No fever,” Doc whispered.

“Pa?” Joe whispered, wondering how he’d gotten in his bed. Everything was a hazy blur due to the constant pain he had been in. The last thing he could recall was being inside the buckboard and the extremely loud sound coming from the team of horses.

Ben dropped a hand down onto his son’s arm to instill calm in him. “I’m right here, Boy – so is Doc.”

Joe squinted up to see Doc Martin hovering over him. He forced a smile even though his head was hurting like the blue blazes. “Hi, Doc.”

“Hi yourself,” Paul grinned. “Your Pa has told me about that fall that you took, Little Joe. Now why’d you hide that from him? You know you should always say something whenever you get hurt.”

“No lectures until my head stops throbbing, okay?” Joe whispered with a frown on his lips.

“Deal,” Doc nodded. “So – you’re hurting pretty bad, huh, Joe?”

“Yeah – but I don’t really want you or anyone else to poke a hole in my skull.”

Paul turned back and looked at Ben, his face filled with confusion. “What’s that again?”

“Joseph thinks you’re going to have to drill some sort of hole in his head to relieve the pressure he’s feeling. While he was out there hiding from his poor old pa he ran into someone who knew somebody who had to have that kind of surgery,” Ben explained.

“Young Man, until you finish medical school I don’t want to hear about you diagnosing anyone – not even yourself,” Paul reprimanded and then grabbed the lamp that was sitting on the nightstand. “This isn’t going to be pleasant, Joe, but I need to check those eyes of yours. I promise to turn this wick down and get the light out of your eyes just as soon as I can.”

His face wincing in preparation for the examination, Joe bit his lip and nodded to the doctor. Then one by one, Paul checked his pupils to see if they were slow to dilate and to gauge how bad the light affected the boy.

Doc set the lamp back down and turned the wick knob to lower the flame. “I take it that hurt you quite a bit?”

Little Joe nodded and had to close his eyes to try to recover from that part of the exam.

“Okay, Joe – that part’s over.”

“Thank God,” He whispered still trying to fight back the increased pain.

Ben stood on the opposite side of the bed and gently squeezed his son’s arm again. “Easy, Son, the examination is going to be over soon,” He reassured the boy.

“Your pa said you’ve been having blackouts, is that right?”

Joe nodded.

“How often, Little Joe?”

With a slight shrug to his shoulders, he responded, “Every day since I got hurt, Doc. Sometimes two or three of them a day.”

Paul simply nodded and then said, “I’m going to need you to roll over onto your stomach now. Just put your face into that pillow of yours for a minute, Joe.”

Following Paul’s instructions, Little Joe planted his face in his pillow and waited for whatever was going to happen next.

“Now take the pointer finger of your left hand and show me where you hit the rock when you fell.”

Once again, the boy did as he was told and pointed at the base of his skull. “There,” he whispered and groaned from the slight pressure from his finger.

Paul methodically examined the area where his patient had indicated and then went about probing the entirety of Joe’s skull. He shot a quick glance across the bed at Ben and frowned. “That’s fine, Little Joe. Just slowly ease over onto your back again because I’m going to give you something for that pain.”

“What’s going on?” Joe’s concern had heightened after noticing the worried looks going back and forth between the two men at either side of his bed. “Do you know what’s wrong with me, Doc?”

Sighing, Paul nodded to the boy and replied, “Little Joe, you sure did hit that head of yours hard. You have what’s known as a skull fracture. There’s a bit of an indention right where you pointed. It’s not too deep though.”

Ben closed his eyes upon hearing the diagnosis. He had heard about skull fractures and had even watched a man die from one after falling from the crow’s nest on one of the clipper ships he had commanded years ago.

Doc watched the appearance of dread as it leapt from Ben to Joe. He could tell that they were both frightened due to his diagnosis. “It’s a mild one, Little Joe – don’t you or your pa go to thinking the worst. It will heal in time,” Paul opened his medical bag and drew out a bottle of laudanum and a tablespoon. “Now you take some of this and it should make you feel better than you have in days.”

Little Joe accepted the medicine hoping that the doctor was right and that he’d get out of some of the pain. Even a little bit of relief would have been welcomed.

“What can be done about it, Paul?” Ben was finally able to ask after taking a few minutes to digest the diagnosis and come to terms with it. He also had sent up a quick prayer for his son’s recovery much as he had from the minute he had found the boy up in the cabin.

Paul turned and stared directly into his old friend’s eyes and gave just a slight shake to his head letting the man know that he wanted to talk somewhere out of earshot from his patient.

“Oh – I’ve got some ideas. Little Joe – is that laudanum helping any yet?”

“Maybe a little bit, Doc,” Joe nodded and then closed his eyes. He was trying to fight back his earlier fears, but he couldn’t help thinking about the man who had surgery due to his injury. “Are you going to have to cut through my head, Doc? I need to know.”

Doc reached down and placed a hand on the boy’s arm. “Little Joe, I’ve always told you the truth – haven’t I?”

Nodding again, Little Joe opened his eyes and stared at the doctor.

“I won’t have to cut any hole in your head, so I want you to stop thinking about that, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I want you to rest, you hear? I’m going downstairs with your pa to get some coffee. Meanwhile you just lie still and let that medicine ease the pain and then we’ll discuss how we’ll get you well again.”

“And I’m not going to die either?” Joe choked out as a few tears escaped his eyes.

Doc and Ben exchanged concerned glances and both men moved closer to the boy in the bed.

“Little Joe, you are not going to die. I can imagine that it’s been frightening for you – worrying about your prognosis due to the terrible pain that you’ve been dealing with. But you’re going to be fine. It’s just going to take time. Now close those eyes, Boy, and let that laudanum work.”

Ben reached down and swept a hand across his son’s forehead, pushing aside his fallen bangs. “You heard Doc, Joseph. Now listen to me, you’re going to be just fine. We’re going to get some coffee and then come right back up here. I want to see you sound asleep when I come back, okay?”

“Okay, Pa,” He whispered and swept one of his shirtsleeves across his face to wipe away his tears.

“Be right back,” Ben assured his son and both he and Doc quietly walked out of the bedroom.

So, there they were. Ben Cartwright and Doctor Paul Martin, the two men who have been by my side with every single injury or illness I’ve had over the last seventeen years. Both of them cared about me and I trusted both of them with my life. Doc had always told me straight – no matter what the prognosis was, he’d never lied to me. And then there was Pa. Of course, being overly protective of me he sometimes sugarcoated his words, but he generally told me the truth. But I had noticed the look on Pa’s face right before he had walked away from my bed. There was just a hint of fear on his face when I spotted him looking over at Doc. I knew that they were going to discuss exactly what was going to happen next as far as my care was concerned. I had to tell myself not to worry about any of it. I was in good hands, and Pa wasn’t going to let me hurt if he could do anything about it. The laudanum hadn’t taken much of the pain away, but it had eased up just a tad and that was better than I’d felt for almost a week. So, with the realization that I was back in my own bed and surrounded by people who loved me, I closed my eyes and tried to will myself to fall to sleep. All my other worries would just have to wait until later. I was home where I belonged and just the thought of that made me rest easier than I had for a long while. And besides, I now knew that I wouldn’t need a hole drilled into my head nor was I going to die from my injury. After thinking about both for days I now had some hope.

Doc set his cup and saucer on top of the coffee table and stared at the four men gathered in the living room hanging onto his every word. Hop Sing had joined his American family to listen to what was going to be done for Little Joe.

“It’s not something to take lightly as I’ve told all of you. A skull fracture is a terrible injury, and it causes a great deal of pain. The laudanum will help but it won’t take care of it all. I need each one of you to remember to lower your voice and let the ranch hands know about it too. No closing doors loudly and do whatever you can to lessen the noise inside this house. It doesn’t take much to make it worse on someone who’s got this type of injury.”

“What about the light situation, Doc? Joe told Pa that he’s got a problem with it,” Adam asked as he sat down on the settee next to Hoss.

“Yes, bright light can affect someone in this condition but that’s not as hard to control as the noise situation is. Ben, you pull those blinds down before you go to bed tonight and draw Joe’s curtains. Keep it like that until the boy has healed.”

Ben nodded and then asked, “You said it’s a slight fracture – is there any chance it could get worse?”

“As long as you keep Joe in bed and let him get lots of rest he should heal. But I did notice bruising behind both of his ears. That’s typical for someone who has that kind of a fracture, and it means that there’s some bleeding going on.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Hoss was quick to ask as he cast a look over at the doctor.

“Not necessarily. He’s not bleeding from his nose or his ears– and hasn’t been, right, Ben?”

“No – he didn’t mention it and I never saw any blood. Hoss and I’ve been with Joe all day.”

Doc nodded and said, “Don’t be upset if it happens. Sometimes blood or clear liquid comes out through the nose in these cases. Just let me know if you see it happen. Now – let’s talk about what we can do for him.”

The four men all stared back and forth and then all eyes were trained on the doctor.

“Joe’s probably not going to like this part,” Paul began as Hop Sing poured him another cup of coffee. “Thank you,” He nodded and took a few sips before continuing. “He’s going to need a haircut.”

“Huh?” Hoss questioned.

“A major haircut,” Paul asserted and stared at Ben. “We’re going to need to put ice on Little Joe’s head several times a day. It’ll help with that swelling that he kept talking about. You see in severe skull fractures surgery is needed due to excessive blood pooling underneath the skull. But I didn’t feel a severe indention anywhere on the boy’s head, so we won’t have to go that route, thank God. It is a terrible surgery so I can understand Little Joe being so scared that he’d have to have it. However, there is some bleeding underneath Joe’s skull which was evident by that bruising behind his ears that I just mentioned. The only way to help with that and the swelling it’s causing is to pack ice all around the head. I need him to get his hair cut just as short as you can manage, Hop Sing. That way we’ll be icing his head and not just getting that boy’s hair wet.”

“I don’t want to be the one to tell Little Joe that he’s getting his hair cut short,” Adam sighed. Everyone in the family knew that the boy liked to wear his hair long to the chagrin of his father.

“I don’t think he’ll mind,” Ben asserted. “That boy is in a whole lot of pain and anything short of a hole drilled through his skull will most likely be welcomed at this point. How short, Paul?”

Paul held up his fingers and indicated a half inch in length. “Hop Sing, we need to get on this as soon as possible. Would you get a bath ready for the boy and then afterwards while he’s still in the tub you can get those shears of yours and have at him?”

“I heat water now, vely good,” The man said and hurried into the kitchen.

“I guess a bath wouldn’t hurt. We’ve got to get him into a nightshirt anyhow and I’m sure Joe hasn’t felt well enough to clean himself up since he left here,” Ben nodded.

“I’ll go fetch the tub, Pa. I’ll put it in the guest room right next to Joe’s bedroom that way he won’t have to walk as far as the bathhouse.”

“Thank you, Son,” Ben called to the big man as he left to tend to his chore.

“Pa, I could head over to the blockhouse and get up some ice? It might take me a little while but I’m sure I could have it here before it’s too late.”

“That would be fine, Adam. Get as much as you can for now and we’ll pack it in some sawdust and see how long it’ll keep in the root cellar.”

“Be back as quick as I can,” Adam called as he jogged to the door and grabbed his holster and hat. He hurried out to get the buckboard.

“Looks like everyone’s busy but the two of us,” Ben smiled and poured himself some coffee.

“Don’t worry, Ben. I’m quite sure that you’ll have more than your fair share of work to do once you go up there and tell your son that he’s getting an unplanned haircut.”

Ben shared a knowing smile with the doctor and, after a day filled with so much dread and turmoil, it felt good to do so.

“Joseph,” Ben whispered as he sat down on the bed next to his son and placed a hand onto the boy’s left cheek. “Joseph, can you open your eyes?”

Slowly Little Joe responded by rolling his head from side to side.

“That’s it, Son – come on open those eyes for me,” he crooned as he lightly patted his son’s face to bring him around.

“Pa? Pa – what’s going on?” He asked just as disoriented as he had been earlier in the evening.

“Here, drink some of this. Hop Sing made you some tea to settle your stomach. I know you’ve not eaten much in the last few days,” He held the cup up to his son’s lips and waited until Joe was aware enough to take a sip.

“Not too thirsty,” Little Joe said after only taking a couple of short sips.

“Doc said that would probably happen because of your injury. But we’ve got to keep you drinking and you’re going to have to try to eat something to get your strength up too. I won’t force that on you right now though.”

Glancing around the dim room, Joe asked, “Did Doc leave?”

“Yes – but he’s going to be back tomorrow to see you. Right now, we need to get you into a bath and then into a nightshirt, Young Man.”

“Isn’t it kind of late to take a bath, Pa? Besides my head’s killing me now that I’m awake,” He complained.

“You’re due for some more pain medicine but I can’t give you any until after your bath. I don’t want you falling on your way next door,” Ben replied and pulled the covers off his son. “Give me your arm, Joseph. I’ll walk you into the next room. Hoss brought the tub in there so you wouldn’t have to move around too much. Hop Sing’s got the bathwater heated up and it’s all ready for you.”

Groaning, Little Joe slowly slid his legs over the side of the bed. From the moment he had awakened the pressure in his head had mounted. “Do we really have to do this, Pa?”

“I’m sorry but we do,” Ben returned and grabbed his son’s elbow pulling him up.

Together they walked into the guest room just next door. Hop Sing was waiting inside to help assist the boy.

“I help you Little Joe,” the cook insisted. “You sit on bench for Hop Sing.”

Little Joe nodded and took a seat next to the tub. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. “I can take a bath all by myself thanks,” he called up to both men.

Ben smiled to see that skull fractured or not his youngest was going to be independent as much as he could. “Alright, Joseph. But we’ll both be just outside. You sing out if you have any trouble.”

“Okay – but I’m not gonna be in that tub long. Head hurts too much.”

“I understand, Joseph—now be careful stepping into that tub, you hear?”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe mumbled as he watched the two men move out into the hall.

I wasn’t exactly sure just what was going on at the time. I knew that it had to be close to midnight by the time I’d slowly dropped underneath that hot water and reached for the bar of soap. Of course, I imagined that I probably didn’t smell all that great due to the fact that I hadn’t had a bath in more than a week. But I couldn’t understand why it had been so all-fired important that Pa had made me take one that night. I soaped up good since I was starting to get the impression that I’d be spending a long while in my bed after hearing what Doc had said about my injury. I guessed that I wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon since I supposed that a skull would take longer to heal than a broken arm would have. I was just about to call out to my father that I was ready to have a towel handed to me when both Pa and Hop Sing reappeared in the room. And they hadn’t come alone. I spotted the shears along with the peculiar look on my father’s face.

“What are those for?” Little Joe whispered as both Pa and Hop Sing approached the tub.

Exchanging uneasy glances back and forth with Hop Sing, Ben finally answered. “Joseph, Doc said we’ve got to cut your hair.”

“Huh?”

“You’re going to need that head of yours iced down regularly to help with the swelling. Doc said your hair will need to be clipped very short so the ice can penetrate better.”

Little Joe closed his eyes as he now understood the need for the late-night bath. His head was throbbing and he was beginning to feel faint. “Go ahead, cut it as short as you want to, Hop Sing.”

Hop Sing stared over at his boss and shrugged his shoulders. He never expected that kind of a response from the very particular boy he had helped to raise.

“You not care?” Hop Sing asked the boy in the tub.

Little Joe shook his head and closed his eyes. “No – just do it will you? I just want to get out of here and into my bed.”

Ben was finally cognizant of the fact that his youngest was hurting beyond words to have so easily agreed to the idea of a haircut. Especially a very short one. He would have been happier to have dealt with the boy’s anger over the idea because at least that would mean that Little Joe was feeling a little more like himself.

“Go ahead, Hop Sing,” Ben whispered to the cook and watched as he spread a towel onto the floor behind where his son was seated in the tub. The room was silent as strand by strand the curls were cut off and soon Little Joe’s hair wasn’t much longer than a half of an inch all around his head.

“That okay?”

“Yes, Hop Sing, thank you,” Ben nodded appreciatively.

Hop Sing handed a towel to Little Joe and he wrapped it around his waist. Usually, he needed an extra towel to dry his curls but there weren’t any. Both Ben and Hop Sing were surprised when the boy didn’t say anything about it, even though they had both witnessed him touching the top of his head.

“Someone want to get me my robe?” Joe asked looking around the room.

Ben shot an awkward glance over to Hop Sing and noticed the knowing gleam on his face. The man was grinning over what the worried father had done concerning his son’s robe.

“Just a minute – be right back,” Ben called over to his son and ducked out into the hall and then hurried into his bedroom. He had forgotten that he had held onto his son’s robe, worried that he’d never see him again. Ben jogged back across the hall and handed it to Little Joe who gave him a questioning look.

“Father keep for you,” Hop Sing smiled as he stared at Ben who dropped his head down some.

Clearing his throat, Ben announced, “Let’s get this boy back into his room.”

Hop Sing smiled up at his boss and said, “Alight, I help. Then – can please have Little Joe robe to wash for tomorrow?”

Ben grinned sheepishly. He patted the cook’s shoulder and nodded. Yes – as soon as this young man is in bed you can have his robe.”

“Vely good,” Hop Sing returned and walked alongside Little Joe in case he needed assistance.

Upon drying off and making his way back to his bedroom, Little Joe was soon dressed in a nightshirt and slid underneath the sheet and blanket on his bed. He eased back against his pillows and stared over at his father who had been very quiet ever since they had walked inside the room.

“I know, Pa,” Little Joe said with a tired sigh.

“What?” he asked staring at the boy.

“You expected me to make a big fuss about the haircut.”

Ben grinned and nodded. “I’ve been worried about how you were going to react ever since Doc told me what we had to do. As much as I don’t like to see you upset – well – if you had fussed some then at least I’d know you were feeling a little bit better.”

“Wish I could fuss then,” Little Joe answered and winced his face.

“I’m getting you some right now Joseph,” Ben knew that the boy was hurting and hurried to pour the laudanum onto the tablespoon. Joe accepted it gratefully and then eased down in the bed.

“Can I sleep a little while before you have to put the ice on me, Pa?”

“Sure,” Ben nodded and sat down on the bed next to his son. His face took on a worried countenance again.

“What is it, Pa?”

“Let me have a look at you for a minute,” he answered. Ben anxiously held his breath as he gently rolled the boy’s head to one side. There behind Joe’s left ear was a huge purplish bruise. He examined his son’s other ear and found the same discoloration behind it.

“You might just as well tell me, Pa.”

“You’ve just got some bruising behind your ears. Paul mentioned something about that to me but with your hair being in the way I couldn’t see it. It’s okay – he said it wasn’t anything to worry about. But it is a sign that we’ve got to get that ice on your head, Young Man.”

Little Joe nodded. He read the appearance of fear on his father’s face and didn’t want to make him worry more than was necessary. “Pa – you can bring the ice up whenever you want. Maybe it’ll help with some of the pain. That medicine is probably going to knock me out – so I probably won’t feel the ice anyhow.”

Examining his son’s face, Ben knew why he had made the concession. He realized that Joe was trying to ease his mind after having witnessed the awful looking bruising.

“Thank you, Joseph,” He whispered and leaned down. He placed a kiss on his son’s forehead and stood from the bed. He headed for the door. There was an urgent matter of ice that needed to be fetched up to the room.

That night I watched as Pa carefully wrapped the towel filled with chipped ice around my head from back to front. He advised me that Doc wanted me to keep it on for at least fifteen minutes at a time. At first, it made me feel worse and I’d almost pulled the darned thing off me. But Pa was sitting there on the bed right next to me offering moral support and the comfort of his hand on my arm so I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He just looked so worried, and I knew that if I protested it would make matters worse on him, so I toughed it out. After about ten minutes I guess the ice sort of numbed the area and I didn’t mind that. When I told Pa that it was doing better, he broke into the first genuine smile that I’d seen on him all day. Of course, it helped that he was giving me the laudanum too and between the two I began to feel like I might actually live. When Pa finally removed that towel and placed it inside the bowl that Hop Sing had left for him, he looked relieved to have the first treatment behind us. He even joked about not having to fuss at me to get a haircut for a good six months since there wasn’t much hair left on my head. Knowing that he had to be totally exhausted, I told him that I’d be fine and that he should go to his room and get some sleep. Pa was Pa and he wasn’t going to hear of it. He said he’d just doze off in the chair by my bed like he was so used to doing after so many years of my getting hurt. I didn’t need that reminder, especially now. He pulled the blankets up around my shoulders and stoked the fireplace in my room even though it wasn’t all that cold. I guess he was worried that on top of everything else that I’d catch a cold due to the ice he had placed on top of my almost hairless head. Before I closed my eyes for the last time that first night, I witnessed Pa standing over my bed and just staring down at me. He looked as though he was fighting back his tears. I knew he was worried about me especially since just the two words skull fracture had a very scary sound to them. But I think it was more than that. Pa was probably thinking the same thing as I was. The night I had left for the cabin I had no intention of ever coming back home and I think he knew that all along. Later, after I realized that I was severely injured, I hadn’t wanted to come home only to end up dying and causing my father even more pain. Pa had been thinking about how I might have died if they hadn’t found me that day. I could read it in his facial expression and in the unspent tears in his eyes. I should have known that my father wasn’t going to let me go that easily no matter how much grief I’ve caused him over the years. When all is said and done, I guess it all comes down to the fact that he loves me unconditionally and that feeling is mutual. Before he settled down into the chair where he would once again begin his sentry duty for the night, he simply leaned down and kissed my forehead. He didn’t need to say it, I knew.

“I love you too, Pa,” I whispered and smiled up at him.

The first few nights had been the toughest for the family as they had to get used to the idea that Little Joe was in rough shape. No-one wanted to wrap the kid’s head in ice as they knew that it would be both uncomfortable and painful for Joe to have to endure. But they knew that it had to be done. Joe wasn’t thrilled with the prospect, but he had done his best not to complain about the procedure. All his family members along with Hop Sing took turns sitting there at Joe’s bedside around the clock each day and night. They waited and they worried about his condition. Most of all they prayed. By the end of the first week there hadn’t been very much improvement, but Doctor Martin had told them to expect that to be the case because as he had warned them “skull fractures don’t heal overnight”. He had come out every day for the first week to make sure that the boy was doing okay and then his visits were every other day thereafter. With each visit he assured the patient and his family that the pain would eventually lessen as the fracture healed.

“Come closer” Little Joe whispered to Hoss who was standing on the right side of his bed with Adam there on the left.

Hoss neared his little brother and bent down so he could hear him a bit better. “What is it, Short Shanks?”

“Adam’s about ready to take this ice pack off my head and then I want the two of you to go out somewhere and just get away from all of this for a while,” Joe insisted and closed his eyes trying not to show the pain he was dealing with.

Adam leaned down next to both brothers and gently pulled back the towel with the now-melted ice. “Just lift your head a tad, Joe,” He instructed and watched Joe making the effort though he could tell the boy was physically spent. Adam rolled the towel up in his hands and placed it in the bowl on the nightstand.

“Joe, you’re not going to get rid of us,” Adam smiled. “You are a captive audience and I’m just about to break into the classic “All the world’s a stage” just for your entertainment.”

“Don’t you think that I’m sick enough?” Little Joe protested and then turned his attention back to Hoss. “C’mon will you two scram for a bit? And how about taking Pa with you?”

“I heard that,” came a voice from the doorway. Ben walked into the room and joined his sons around Little Joe’s bed. “Is your little brother trying to get rid of the three of us again?” Ben whispered with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, Pa – he thinks that we’re all overdoing it,” Hoss announced and moved from the bed giving his father some room to maneuver.

Ben set the cup of tea on the nightstand and stared down at the boy. “Hop Sing sent you up some more tea, Joseph. He said he mixed some things together that are sure to help your pain.”

“Not again,” Joe sighed and slowly shook his head. “All I’ve had is tea. I haven’t had coffee since that horrible tasting stuff I made in the cabin.”

Ben tried not to laugh because he was trying to keep the noise down to a minimum. “Doc said not to give you any coffee for a while, Joseph. And you’d better drink this or you know what Hop Sing will do. You don’t want him yelling at you in Chinese do you?”

“Okay,” Joe nodded and pulled himself up in the bed some.

Hoss and Adam moved closer to their father and gave him the nod that all had gone well with Joe’s treatment. Ben smiled and winked at them both.

“Now what’s this about trying to get rid of us, Joseph?”

Sipping his tea and showing his displeasure with the taste, Little Joe replied, “You three have been in here too much. I mean other than icing my head and giving me medicine you don’t need to stand guard over me. I’m sure as heck not getting out of this bed until this darn headache goes away. Pa – you’ve been in here almost every night. And the nights that you’re not sleeping in that chair over there Hoss or Adam are filling in for you.”

“I think you kept that ice on him too long, Adam. It must’ve affected his brain,” Hoss quipped.

“I think you’re right, next time we need to time it using Pa’s watch,” Adam grinned.

“Alright, Boys,” Ben began and shot a look at both Adam and Hoss. “Let’s let Joe get some rest. I’m going to get some broth for him in a little while.”

“I think he wants the two of you to actually do some work instead of spending your day staring at me,” Little Joe smiled.

Hoss grinned over at Adam and said, “The kid doesn’t know that Pa’s given us a month off just to take care of him.”

“That’s right, Little Joe,” Adam nodded. “Maybe two months depending on how much ice we can find for you.”

Ben frowned and returned sternly. “No, I said two weeks. After then it’s back to the old grind for both of you.”

“Okay, Pa – but if you don’t need us right now – we were thinking of going into town,” Adam announced and shared a smile with Hoss.

“Yeah – that’s right,” Hoss agreed.

“Go and have fun,” Joe frowned. “Just remember that I’m laying in this bed suffering.”

Adam patted his youngest brother’s shoulder and returned, “We’ll drink a few for you, Little Joe. And when we get home, we’ll tell you how good they were, okay?”

Joe just frowned as he watched his brothers walking out of his room.

“Now that I got rid of them how about you go and relax for a while, Pa?”

“Don’t I look relaxed?” Ben grinned as he settled down in the chair. “I even brought the paper to read while you close your eyes.”

“Okay – I guess you can stay.”

“Did Adam give you your medicine?”

“Yeah – I’m done with the ice for a couple of hours and I’ve had my medicine.”

“Good – then lay there and close your eyes and I’ll get back to relaxing,” Ben smiled and opened his newspaper.

Little Joe obeyed and closed his eyes. “I wish this head of mine would get better so I could go into town like my brothers.”

“No talking,” Ben stated firmly. “And you’ll get better – just give it time, Joseph.”

Nodding to his father, he whispered, “You’re right, Pa.” Then he fell asleep under the watchful eye of the man who had no intention of reading his newspaper.

Pa had thought that I was annoyed with my brothers but that wasn’t the case. I was glad that most days they were upstairs with me for a good bit of the time. After spending so long up in that cabin, when I thought neither of them would ever talk to me again, it meant all that much more that they hadn’t said one word about my hitting Pa. Nobody mentioned it to me, not my brothers and not my father. They acted like nothing had ever happened and I was more than grateful because I still thought about it all the time. I couldn’t have asked for a better set of brothers, or a better friend than Hop Sing. And of course, I can’t forget the sentry over in the chair by my bed. He’s the greatest. The fact of the matter was that everyone checked on me constantly. Even Hop Sing would quietly steal into my room even on those nights when Pa was sound asleep in the chair next to my bed. He’d refill the water pitcher and make sure I didn’t need anything. And most of the time I’d see him and just nod over to him that I appreciated all that he was doing for me. I was still hurting something fierce, that hadn’t changed. But I wasn’t alone like I’d been up in the cabin and that made all the difference in the world. And those days when I thought that I just couldn’t handle the pain any longer everyone seemed to know and went out of their way to try and cheer me up. That’s what a family is all about, I guess. They’re there for the good days and they’re there for the bad ones. I knew that if it had been any one of them in bed with a skull fracture or anything else that I’d be doing the same thing. Pa had taught us to stick together and that was what we did. Sure, my brothers and I fought and we argued, but the bottom line was that we never stopped caring about each other. And as for the patriarch of the clan, well he was our role model and someone we aspired to grow up to be. Not that that would ever be attained – none of us thought that would happen. There was only one Ben Cartwright, and I knew how lucky I was to call him my father.

“Fletcher?” Ben said surprised by the man’s visit. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the man for an entire week and had started to wonder if the foreman had quit due to his run-in with Joe up at the cabin. “Come on in,” Ben held the door open for his old friend.

“Thanks, Ben,” he nodded and stepped into the living room. “I hope I didn’t knock too loudly?”

Ben smiled, now aware that the man knew all about Little Joe’s condition. “No – I only heard you because I was heading to the kitchen to ask Hop Sing to heat Joe up some broth.”

“How is the boy doing?”

Sighing, Ben shook his head. “He’s had a rough go of it, Fletcher. It’s only been a week, but Doc told all of us to be patient. He’s still hurting a great deal, but Paul said that Joseph’s pain should begin to ease up soon.”

Fletcher frowned and shook his head. “Ben – that day that Little Joe knocked me off of the porch there at the cabin –,” he trailed off trying to get his thoughts in order.

“Yes?”

“Well – the fact of the matter it was my own fault that he done that. I should’ve known better. I’d gone to that trading post a few miles north of there and that’s how I knew Joe couldn’t have gone too far. But my friend there said that the boy was feeling poorly and had been complaining about having a headache.”

“Go on,” Ben insisted when the man stopped talking.

“I didn’t pay it no mind – I was just so mad at the kid. But then when I found him up at that cabin – well I burst in on him yelling. Joe kept asking me to hold it down – and well – you know me – I just got louder.”

Ben pursed his lips and nodded. He knew the foreman very well and could just imagine how he had treated his son. “I see.”

“I thought the boy was just giving me lip – and I said some pretty rotten things to him. And before he shoved me out the door, I was downright shouting at the top of my lungs at him.”

“Well, I guess now you know that someone with a skull fracture like Joseph has would take that type of noise the same as he would with the sound of a cannon going off inside his head, right?”

Fletcher nodded and looked down at the floor feeling awful for the things he had both said and done to the kid. “Yeah, and I’ve been kicking myself over it ever since Hoss and Adam told me about Little Joe’s injury.”

Ben reached over and offered a commiserative pat to the man’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it – I’m sure Joe isn’t holding a grudge over it.”

“Just the same I’d like to see the boy, Ben.”

Wincing his face at the very thought of the loud boisterous man being allowed inside his son’s sick room, Ben shook his head. “That’s probably not such a good idea right now, Fletcher. Joseph has to have complete quiet right now – doctor’s orders.”

“Ben Cartwright,” the man began angrily. “Do you reckon I don’t know that? I’m not so mean spirited that I’d want to go and hurt that boy! I just want to see him.”

“Calm down,” Ben insisted.

“I’ll calm down when you let me see your boy. Until then I’m gonna stand right here and fuss until either you let me see Little Joe or you throw me off your porch like he done.”

*** Oh Lord, I just bet he would make me do that too. Ben thought to himself. Joseph, you must have had the patience of Job that night not throwing him off that porch the minute that he started yelling at you, because I don’t have a skull fracture and I’m about ready to do that very thing right now! ***

“If you’ll keep your voice down to a whisper and not stay too long, I’ll take you up to see him, Fletcher. But if you do anything to hurt that boy, I promise you that I’ll forget all about throwing you out of this door and toss you out Joseph’s bedroom window instead.”

Fletcher grinned over at Ben and nodded, “Sounds fair.”

“Come on ahead,” Ben sighed and the two of them walked up the stairs.

“Joseph?” Ben whispered as he walked quietly inside the bedroom. “You’ve got some company.”

Joe looked across the room and witnessed both his father and Fletcher walking over to his bed. He had expected Pa, but he was flabbergasted to see the foreman. The last time he had seen Fletcher, the man was looking up from the ground where he had landed after being thrown out of the cabin’s door. And the man had been so angry with him that he was spitting nails. Little Joe wondered why in the world his father would have let the foreman inside his room. Surely Pa would’ve known better than to let that loud cantankerous man in to see him.

“Just came to see you, Little Joe,” Fletcher whispered as he moved closer to the bed. He turned and looked at Ben. “We don’t need you in here, Ben. Go get that broth for this kid – we’ll be just fine.”

Little Joe stared at his father and his eyes grew wider. He hoped that Pa could read the concern all over his face at the time and wouldn’t leave the room.

Hesitating at first, Ben finally agreed and walked quietly out of the room praying the whole while that he had made the right judgement call. He hoped that Fletcher knew he meant business because if the man caused any harm to his youngest Ben would follow through with his threat to toss the man out through the boy’s window. Ben wanted to wait outside the bedroom door and listen in to the conversation, but he did want to tell Hop Sing to heat the broth for Joe, so he hurried down to the kitchen. He promised himself that he’d be right back just in case his son needed assistance.

Fletcher sat down in the chair next to Little Joe’s bed and stared over at him. His words were stuck in his throat for a few minutes, but he finally choked them out.

“Little Joe, listen – first of all I want to tell you how sorry I am that you’re hurting as bad as you are. I’ve heard all about skull fractures and they’re a tough thing for anyone to go through.”

“Thanks,” Joe whispered, still wary about what the foreman was ultimately going to say to him.

“Now listen – I said some things that night up at the cabin that I shouldn’t ought to have said to you. I believe that when a man’s done wrong, he ought to own up to it – so that’s why I’m here.”

“It’s okay.”

Fletcher shook his head and returned, “No – Little Joe – it ain’t okay. I’m always the first to yell at you about acting right – and I didn’t that night. You asked me to hold it down a bunch of times, but I just thought that you were giving me lip. I didn’t know that you’d gotten yourself hurt.”

“Fletcher, I said it’s okay,” Joe repeated trying to let the man off of the hook.

Frowning and trying his best not to raise his voice he bit his lip to hold it in before continuing. “Now would you please just shut your mouth so I can finish?”

Little Joe simply nodded that time.

“Thanks,” The man smiled. “I said some mean things – like calling you a lily-livered coward. That wasn’t called for and I want you to forget that I said it.”

“You weren’t totally wrong, Fletcher – I did run off when I should’ve stayed and owned up to what I’d done,” Joe asserted.

Fletcher shook his head and reached over to Joe’s arm, dropping his hand onto it. “Little Joe – from what your brothers said you didn’t know what you were doing the night you hit your pa. You don’t own that one. I’m sure once you found out what happened you left – not because you were a coward – but you didn’t want to hurt nobody. Now ain’t that the way of it?” He asked softly.

Little Joe nodded and had to fight back his tears. It was one thing to have received forgiveness and understanding from his pa but to hear Fletcher say it had touched him deeply.

“Now – you just put all that in the past, you hear?”

“I’ll try.”

“And you forget all of what happened between the two of us too, okay?” He asked, pulling himself up from the chair in preparation to leave the room.

“Thanks, Fletcher– -it means a lot to me that you came here today. I’ve had a rough time – and I wasn’t feeling too good about what I’d done to my father – and you either.”

“I understand,” He nodded. “Well – I best be going. Now you take care of yourself, you hear?”

Little Joe nodded as the man walked to his bedroom door.

Fletcher cast a quick glance at the boy in the bed. Little Joe looked so pale and sickly that it gave him pause. He quietly opened the bedroom door and carefully closed it as he stepped into the hallway.

Ben had come up the backstairs from the kitchen and peered down the hallway in time to see Fletcher leaving his son’s room. He was surprised when he spotted the man wiping his eyes on his shirtsleeve before turning for the other staircase. Smiling to himself Ben knew that the grizzled cantankerous foreman had a soft heart underneath his carefully crafted façade. It was very apparent to him that Fletcher had felt bad about having fussed at Little Joe and now, after seeing how sickly the boy was, he had shed some tears over the whole event.

*** Your secret is safe with me, Fletcher. *** Ben grinned as he proceeded down to his son’s bedroom.

Epilogue

Little Joe hung onto the side of the breaking corral with his feet placed up onto the second rail. He watched as one of the top wranglers mounted one of the new horses that Hoss had rounded up a few days ago. The boy smiled with delight waiting for the action to start and hoping that the man would stay atop the bucking bronc. It was then that he felt the tug to the bottom of his right pant leg. Looking behind him he saw an angry-looking father staring up at him.

“Get down from there, Young Man,” Ben insisted sternly.

“Oh – Pa – I thought that you were in town with Hoss?” Little Joe returned, wincing his face now that it appeared that he had been caught doing something he’d been told not to do.

“Down here,” Ben pointed to the ground.

Begrudgingly, Little Joe dropped down from the railing and stared up at his father. “I was just looking, Pa.”

Ben nodded his head and placed a hand onto his son’s shoulder giving it a slight squeeze. “I’m sure you were. But I told you that you’re not to be anywhere around the breaking corral –,” he was cut off in midsentence.

“I know – I know,” Little Joe frowned. “It’s a temptation for you, Joseph – you’ll get hurt, Joseph – I can’t trust you, Joseph,” he mimicked the things that his father had said for the last three months, ever since his skull fracture had finally healed.

Ben cleared his throat loudly to get the boy’s attention. “Well, since you’ve obviously heard me in order for you to recite my words so succinctly then you know what you’re NOT supposed to be doing, right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Doc said for you to stay away from the breaking corral and temptation for another three months. And I’ve told you that almost every day as well, Young Man.”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe repeated with an aggravated sigh thrown in.

“Joseph – you do remember how bad that head of yours felt – or do I have to remind you?”

“No, Sir – I remember,” Joe nodded and smiled wryly over at his father. “I was only looking at the new horses, honest, Pa.”

Ben groaned and shook his head, “Don’t “honest Pa” me. I know you too well.”

“Sorry,” Little Joe apologized. He hadn’t wanted to make his father upset.

Ben couldn’t stay angry with the boy who he had come so very close to losing due to the head injury; however, he wasn’t about to take any chances with it happening again. He slung an arm around his son’s shoulder and turned him toward the buckboard. “You come along into town with me, Joseph. I’ve got plans for you.”

“Plans?” Joe asked as he walked with his father to the wagon.

Ben grinned and waited for his son to climb up next to him. The boy finally sat down and turned to stare at him.

“What kinds of plans, Pa?”

“Well, it’s been three months since Doc said that you were well enough to get out of bed, right?”

“Yeah – so?”

“And you spent almost two and a half months in the house recovering, right?”

Little Joe couldn’t figure out what his father was getting at. “So?”

Ben chuckled as he ruffled a hand over his son’s head, which was now full of curls. “So – it’s time for your first haircut.”

Little Joe groaned. He should have guessed that his father would have been waiting for the chance to usher him back to the barber shop.

“It’s not really that long yet, Pa,” He complained hoping to get his way and their trip would be postponed for a couple of weeks.

Ben reached over and tugged the hair that dipped down past the collar of the boy’s jacket. “You have more hair than your two brothers and me combined!”

“But it was short for so long, Pa – I was just getting used to having it back,” Little Joe grinned.

“I’ll give you a choice then.”

“Oh yeah? What choice?”

“You can have it done at the barbershop in town or I can get Hop Sing and his shears since he did such a great job the last time.”

Little Joe frowned and shook his head. “Let’s go, Pa,” he conceded.

Ben laughed and sent the team forward.

So, there I was a captive audience listening to my father’s laughter and held against my will as we made our way into Virginia City. And though I wouldn’t have told the man sitting next to me, I really didn’t mind going to get a haircut. I was just happy that the sound of the team of horses wouldn’t send hot streams of pain throughout my head like they had done on the trip back from the cabin months ago. I’ve learned a lot of things since almost getting myself killed out at the breaking corral. I learned that you should always tell someone if you get hurt because doing otherwise is a stupid move. And what I had done was a very stupid thing to do and it almost cost me my life. I learned that if you’ve done something wrong – whether intentional or not – that you should stay and deal with the repercussions of your actions. Running away doesn’t make the pain go away, it only hurts more people in the long run. I learned that if you have a great family they will stick with you, even in the worst situations. My head injury was the worst situation I’d ever dealt with, and I attribute the love of every member of my family, including Hop Sing, to being responsible for my still being alive. Foremost I learned that the man who now sat next to me smiling over the fact that I was being forced to get a haircut is the greatest father I could have ever asked for. I’ll never forget that day when he walked inside the cabin. I had about given up on everything and had pretty much decided that I was going to die. I never believed that I’d see him again and had pretty much figured that he wouldn’t want to see me anyway after what I had done. But Pa had found me anyway, even though he had no clue as to why I had thrown that punch no more than I did at the time. But he wanted me back no matter the reason and took the time to find out what had happened to make me do that dreadful thing. Once he had learned that I had no recollection of hitting him and that I was suffering from a head injury he devoted his whole life to getting me well again. Night after night he cared for me, placing ice packs on my head even though I knew that it hurt him to do so. And most of those same nights he sat in the chair next to my bed just in case I needed him. And then day after day he tended to my needs while encouraging me and insisting that I’d soon be back to my former self. And to prove that he was right he was now taking me off to get that haircut. I watched the happiness displayed on his face and I knew that a small part of it was because he was amused at me for complaining about having to get the haircut. But the larger part of it was because he was just happy that once again, I was healthy. And as for me, well, I was just happy to be with him.

As we passed that small stream where I had turned Cochise and had headed to the cabin that night, I couldn’t help thinking about my wanting to get far away from my father so he wouldn’t find me. But now I know the truth. He would always find me. Because there’s no place that far.

The End

Written by Wrangler

7/15/26 ***To the new reader who wrote me a week ago — I’m very sorry you had asked the name of one of my series, and I gave you the wrong one in error. Since I didn’t save your email Information, I hope you will see this. It wasn’t the “Every Purpose Under Heaven” series, your description was for the one called “Stay in the Darkness” series from last year. My apologies. ***

(Dedicated to the story consultant Rob. I’m not lucky to have you, I am blessed. And to my friends who constantly give of themselves to root me on and keep me grounded, they’re the reason I continue writing.)

***Note from writer. My mother had a fractured skull when I was very young. She suffered terribly and it wiped out the memory of her six children for a long while. But she was cured and fortunately didn’t need surgery. She remains one of my all-time heroines for her bravery and courage. I hope this story would have made her proud because it was meant for her. ***

14 thoughts on “No Place That Far (by Wrangler)”

RJC says:

July 25, 2026 at 7:41 pm

Well let’s try this again as it didn’t take I don’t think. OK I just gave you comments on your newest story but wanted to tell you how great this is. But it’s also funny because as I just said to you on the other story I’m a long haul trucker with 30 years under my belt. When Joe talks about packing fast I could relate. I get called out a lot and this week packed so fast guess what I forgot? Yeah my robe! Of course my father wasn’t home pining away for me but my beagle probably spent the last 6 days laying on it doing much the same. I just could relate to so much in this story. And I just love Fletcher he reminds me of my uncle. I think you need a story where he goes to find Joe’s rat. Oh I saw on your In This Life story that you must live in Georgia. That’s my home base too. Maybe one day I’ll see a tag with “Wrangler ” on it. If so I’ll hunk so you’ll know it’s a fan! Anyway keep writing it sure makes it feel like I’m with an old friend as I go across this big country of ours. By the way — great story!

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 26, 2026 at 7:41 pm
  
  My dear rat loving trucker reader, thank you so much for the terrific feedback you’ve done for this story. It was a hard one to put together in my mind. The shorter ones are easy. I can write 4000 words in a couple of hours but something like this takes many weeks. I think it’s so cool you have a beagle because that was my first dog. I’m glad he or she enjoyed your robe much like Pa enjoyed Little Joe’s! Now, Joseph, be more mindful when you pack! LOl I have a couple of “Fletcher’ fans such as you. I will say I love writing Pa Joe stuff as you must be aware if you’ve read my stories across the country after you hit up all the sports channels! But Fletcher makes me laugh too! He reminds me of the foreman from Cousin Clarrisa episode. That’s how I see him anyway. My characters from Pete Timmons to Doctor Harold Peele, to Fletcher seem like old friends when I write and they talk for themselves. I wish I knew what part of Georgia you lived in as I am quite out in the boondocks! I don’t have a Wrangler tag but fun fact my grandfather was one of the main designers of the first jeep used in World War 2, so the jeep wrangler would be an awesome thing to have along with a tag. But in the meanwhile I will look at every semi that passes me and hope it’s a friend like you’ve become through your kind words and such funny remarks. Thank you once again for making me smile. Now the rat is coming very soon so hold on and drive safe!
ChinWah says:

July 19, 2026 at 10:35 pm

I guess all the othe rplies have said it all. Another Incredible Wangler story. It is so spot on with the family in this story. The robe was spot on with Pa and Hop Sing. few tears shed but so much to smile about in the end. Loved this story. Thanks

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 20, 2026 at 10:24 am
  
  Hope your feedback made my day! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this one. Glad you liked the robe part, it was fun to write and glad you liked Hop Sing, the brothers and the pjm! Thank you for taking the time to let me know!
Joefan1 says:

July 18, 2026 at 7:29 pm

What a great story! I enjoyed it so much. I read the whole thing in one sitting even though I never read more than three or four thousand words in a sitting. Thank you.
Joefan1

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 18, 2026 at 7:44 pm
  
  I don’t know if you get the chance to read the “reply” to these. But if you do all I can say is that your feedback helped me today in ways that made such a difference to me. I honestly can’t thank you enough. I always have my doubts as to whether a story was done in a way that mattered or if I missed the mark. Your kind comments truly made me so happy — thank you!
prairiegirl says:

July 17, 2026 at 8:17 pm

Thank you for another heartfelt story…my thoughts echo what others have said. The “robe” scene really touched me.

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 18, 2026 at 12:12 am
  
  Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts about this story. It’s greatly appreciated by me. Yes that “robe” part got to even me! Thanks so much!
Rosalyn says:

July 17, 2026 at 7:04 pm

Wrangler,

When I was leaving comments, I made an error. Notice where I said, “I certainly did”? That is where I was going to add the rest of my comments. Leave it to me to mangle my feedback. I wanted to write that I truly believe that this is the pièce de résistance! Your story is a tour de force of masterful storytelling! Your PJMs and JPMs, spoken and expressed in thought, are the finest I have ever read! Thank you for this illustrious story. It rises above and eclipses all of the rest of your radiant stories!

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 18, 2026 at 12:10 am
  
  Only YOU! Seriously thank you. I’d respond in French but I don’t speak that lingo ( harnessing the “Fletcher ” in me!) I’m happy you think this is a good story — best of all of mine or not! You’re too kind but your comments are very appreciated by me! Thank you!
RJC says:

July 17, 2026 at 4:55 pm

Wrangler this is 34,000 plus words of pure heart. I think it’s your best story and that’s saying something because you don’t have a bad one in the bunch. The cabin scene with Pa and Joe is so tender that if I wasn’t cool I would’ve cried. I’m beginning to believe Fletcher was really on Bonanza now. He is a real hoot but we got to see underneath his big talk and witness his humanity. The brothers were spot on. Little Joe was perfect. I thought your mix of narrative to dialog was wonderfully written. The “robe thing” was both tender and funny as was Hop Sing. I wondered how you knew so much about this type of injury until I saw at the end your mother had gone through it. I believe she knows the love you put in this one was for her. Well done — and one rat mention too!

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 17, 2026 at 7:01 pm
  
  Well what lovely comments from someone who is “too cool” to cry! You are very much my opposite. Unfortunately I am a “crier” especially when I’m moved by something. I’m thrilled that you liked this one. And I’m glad you liked the pjm in the cabin. I worked on just those two pages for four days trying to show Ben’s unwavering love for Joseph. I’m happy you thought it worked. That “robe” part was added AFTER I thought the story was done. I just wanted to show the old softie that Pa could sometimes be viewed through Hop Sings eyes to make it amusing. Yes I think Fletcher is now a cast member and fun to write. Thank you for mentioning my mother. I felt what she had gone through and the tremendous pain she endured throughout the writing of this story. You will get your rat saga it’s been in the works — as a thank you for taking the time to make me smile!
Rosalyn says:

July 17, 2026 at 4:04 pm

Wrangler,

This story is one to cherish. It certainly brought so many tears to my eyes. I love the balance of the stream of consciousness with the narrative part. I certainly did. I love that robe scene with Joe and now with Pa, as it just shows their unbreakable bond. They are visually and olfactorily bonded, just like a mother and baby are bonded by a unique and instinctive or instinctual bond.

This is simply beautifully expressed in your written story. Thank you so much! You have really refined your writing skills immensely! It is prose but has a highly poetical rhythm in its similarity! Both Ben and Joe are both so very sensitive and loving. Yes, Joe is Ben’s child! I noticed the similarity to “Stay in the Darkness” as well as the “If Silence” story. This story is deeply emotive, provocative, and evocative. The PJMs are some of the loveliest to read! Can anything be lovelier than Pa and Joe realizing that their love will always bring them together? I love how Joe truly matures in his appreciation for his brothers through their care and his father, Ben, who is the true hero of this story, who never stopped in his search for his child. The song is simply beautiful and the lyrics are radiantly beautiful! I love Fletcher as we are able to see more about him and his feelings. Hop Sing is always a pleasure to read about, and his dialogue and memories with Ben are so memorable. Lastly, Wrangler, thank you for this beautiful story that truly honors your mother! What a beautiful, compassionate, courageous, and tenacious woman she had to have been to come back from a devastating injury and what wonderful qualities she must have instilled in you by her words and deeds! Thank you so much for revealing your heart, as all of your stories reveal your beautiful inner self. Yes, your stories are your lasting legacy, carved in jade! For your works, your gifts to us remind us that our families, friends, and loved ones are so important and that nothing, no issue, no problem, no action should ever cause us to allow separation, for “No Place Is Too Far.”

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1. Wrangler says:
  
  July 17, 2026 at 7:10 pm
  
  Rosalyn it’s so hard to adequately reply to such a kind and thoughtful feedback such as yours. As a “writer” I can only address what “moves me” and hope that I can somehow express it. I’m so glad you felt this one captured that element because I tried harder to put different touches on this one. In fact I felt I needed to post it before it hit 40,000 WC or grew to War and Peace length! I’m happy you liked that pjm in cabin as I’ve already mentioned it took many days to make it feel “right” and the robe was thrown into the story at the last minute I love to show just a hint of vulnerability in Pa sometimes. Thank you also for your mentions about my mom. A close friend told me to use her first name as part of my tribute and they were right!: For some strange reason an old saying haunted me throughout the writing of this story. It went something like “a bell isn’t a bell until you ring it, a song isn’t a song until you sing it. And the love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love until you give it away ” That’s how I feel about this story. If it provides ANYONE with any hope faith love or comfort then I accomplished my goal. As always thank you for your generous and we’ll written feedback !

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