Summary: A tasking mistress draws Ben away from his family. Will it take losing his family before he sets his priorities right?

Rating:  K+  (19,460 words)

 

Priorities

‘Joseph! What are you doing in there?’ Marie Cartwright came in from the kitchen to see her three year-old son happily picking up handfuls of soot from the fireplace and watching fascinated as they fell from his little hands. She had left him only two minutes ago sitting on the floor with his blocks and now……..

 

Little Joe turned to face his mother, his face showing the black smudges of many little handprints that had wiped across it. ‘Look mama,’ he cried excitedly, ‘black snow!’

 

She strode over to her small son, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the fireplace. Sending up a short prayer of thanks that the fire hadn’t actually been lit, she bent over and deposited a swift smack on his bottom before she said. ‘Joseph! How many times have you been told to stay out of there?’

 

He looked up at her with an angelic smile and said, ‘Lots mama.’

 

She shook her head in exasperation. ‘Then why did you go in there?’

 

‘To get the soots mama,’ he explained patiently to her. ‘I needed it.’

 

She bent down and gave him another swift smack on his backside and began to pull him towards the kitchen. Little Joe had by this time realised that his mother was angry with him and he began to resist, guessing what was coming next.

 

‘Joseph keep still!’ Marie ordered. ‘We’re going into the washhouse to give you a bath young man.’

 

‘Don’t want no barf!’ he yelled and stamped his little foot. ‘Ain’t gonna have one!’

 

‘You most certainly are going to have a bath,’ she replied. ‘You’re all covered in soot and you need one whether you want it or not.’

 

He tried to struggle out of her grasp, but she had a firm grip on his wrist and wasn’t about to let go. As they went through the kitchen towards the outer door she called to Hop Sing their cook, ‘Hop Sing could you heat some water up please? I need to give Joseph a bath.’

 

‘No!’ yelled Little Joe and struggled even more. ‘Ain’t gonna have no barf!’ He put his little mouth down and bit his mother’s hand as she tried to drag him forward, causing her to take step back in surprise and let go of him.

 

As Marie stood there rubbing her hand, Little Joe ran through the open doorway and straight into his father’s arms. ‘Well hello there young man, ‘said Ben picking him up. ‘What have you been up to?’ He frowned as he noticed the child’s black face and clothing.

 

Joe wriggled in his father’s arms as he saw his mother coming through the doorway. ‘Down Papa,’ he said.

 

Ben looked at Marie questioningly. ‘In the fireplace again?’ he asked with a smile.

 

Marie looked at him crossly. ‘Yes, in the fireplace! And not only that, but he bit me as well!’

 

Ben looked at the child in his arms with a frown. ‘Joseph! Why did you bite your mother?’ he said in a stern voice.

 

Joe put out his bottom lip and stopped struggling. He crossed his small arms over his chest and informed his father. ‘Don’t want no barf!’ he declared.

 

Ben turned him around and swatted him none too gently a couple of times on the backside. ‘You will do as you’re told young man!’ he ordered. ‘Now you apologize to your mother!’

 

The bottom lip came out even further. ‘No!’ he said.

 

Ben blinked. Lately this little one was beginning to defy them all. He sensed a very strong character emerging behind the cherubic face, and he was determined that the youngster would learn to obey him.

 

‘I beg your pardon!’ he said. ‘Do as you’re told Joseph!’

 

‘No!’

 

Ben gave the child another couple of swats, and was about to keep going when Marie held onto his arm. ‘There’s no point when he gets like this,’ she said. ‘Give him to me and I’ll get him in the bath. When he’s calmed down I’ll deal with him then.’

 

Ben shook his head and carried his son into the bathhouse where Hop Sing was filling the tub with water. ‘No!’ yelled Joseph kicking out at his father. ‘Ain’t gonna have no barf!’

 

‘Quiet!’ yelled Ben and dumped the little boy onto the table. ‘You will do as you’re told. If your mother says you’re having a bath then you’re having one. Now no more fuss!’ He began to take the child’s clothing off while Marie gathered up the washcloth and soap. When he had stripped him, Ben picked the little boy up and deposited him in the tub without a word. Joe began to yell and kick out at his father, sending drops of water in all directions. Ben picked him up, gave him a resounding smack on his bare backside and sat him down again. ‘Not another sound out of you!’ he said. ‘Now sit still!’

 

Joe glared back at his father, but sat still as he had been told too. Ben reached to take the soap and washcloth from his wife. ‘Here I’ll do it,’ he said. ‘Now that I’ve got him this far I may as well keep on going.’

 

‘Be my guest,’ she said, sitting down on a chair next to the table. ‘I’ve just about had enough of dealing with him today. She wiped a stray strand of hair off her forehead and slumped down wearily into her seat. ‘I thought you weren’t coming home for lunch.’

 

‘I wasn’t,’ said Ben. ‘But we got the fences finished quicker than I thought we would, so I’ll be able to start on the books this afternoon now.’

 

‘If you’ve finished, then why don’t you take the afternoon off?’ asked Marie. ‘You could do with the break you know.’

 

‘I can’t. I haven’t got the time to spare,’ he replied rubbing his little son’s back with the cloth and holding onto him firmly with his other hand. Joe sat still, seemingly calmer now that he was in the water.

 

‘Hop Sing could watch Joe when he goes down for his nap after lunch,’ persisted Marie. ‘We could go for a ride.’

 

‘I told you Marie, I don’t have the time,’ he replied. ‘What with the roundup starting in a couple of weeks, the branding next week, as well as trying to get the sawing started at the lumber mill, I don’t have time for anything lately.’

 

‘That’s obvious!’ she retorted. ‘Have you got the time to eat lunch at least?’

 

‘I’ll grab something quickly. I’ll see what Hop Sing’s got in the kitchen,’ he said as he picked up the little wet body and handed his son to his mother. She wrapped him in the towel she had been holding and started to rub him dry.

 

‘Fine!’ she said crossly and glared at her husband as he left the room. ‘Come on little one,’ she said to the now calmer child in her arms. ‘Let’s get some clean clothes for you.’

 

Joe reached up and put his little hand on her face. ‘Go ride?’ he asked.

 

She nodded. ‘Yes I think I will,’ she said to herself. ‘If I wait for your father I’ll never get on a horse again.’ She stood up and hugged him to her as she carried him upstairs.

 

 

—————

 

 

‘Hoss? Would you like some more?’ Marie asked the boy as she held the platter out to him.

 

‘Yes ma’am,’ replied her stepson. ‘Them’s good potatoes.’

 

‘They’re good potatoes,’ she corrected.

 

Hoss looked at her puzzled. ‘I know they are,’ he said, wondering why she was repeating what he’d already said.

 

Marie put a small spoonful of the vegetables on Little Joe’s plate and ignored the dark look he gave her. ‘So how was school today boys?’ she asked.

 

Adam looked up from his plate. At fifteen years of age he was a quiet and studious boy who loved school and learning with a passion. She knew immediately what his response would be, and smiled when he replied. ‘Great!’

 

Hoss was not so enthusiastic. He was not a natural student like his brother and found school to be difficult and challenging. He was a large boy for his age and towered over most of the other nine year-olds around, and often his size meant that people expected more of him than he was able to deliver. School was not the happy place for him that it was for his older brother. He shrugged. ‘OK I guess,’ he said with his mouth full.

 

‘Marie, where’s Pa tonight?’ asked Adam.

 

Marie gave him a small frown as she tried to push another spoonful of potatoes into Little Joe’s mouth. ‘He’s in town. He had to go to that meeting with the Mines Association and said he wouldn’t be able to make it home for supper. He’ll eat in town and be home later.’

 

‘We never get ta see him no more,’ mumbled Hoss. ‘Seems like he’s never around.’

 

‘Pa’s real busy at the moment Hoss,’ said Adam. ‘He can’t help it.’ Marie glanced at him. She knew that Adam missed having their father around as much as Hoss did, but as usual he would never make an adverse comment about the man. Adam adored his father and aspired to be just like him, that was obvious. The boy spent his whole life trying to emulate his father’s actions and held him in very high esteem.

 

Marie felt it probably came from the time they had relied on each other so much before she had come into their lives. They were so close, that Adam had even felt for a while that she had come between them. It had taken quite a bit of effort on both their parts to come to the understanding that she would do anything to enhance the boy’s relationship with his father, not destroy it. Adam tried not to give away his feelings most of the time, but Marie was getting to the stage where she could read him well. He constantly strove to please his father and praise from Ben was like gold to the boy. He was a son to be proud of.

 

Little Joe shook his head from side to side as his mother continued to try and get him to open his mouth. ‘No!’ he said. ‘Don’t want it!’

 

Marie shook her finger at him. ‘You’re being a baby Joseph,’ she said. ‘Only little babies need their mothers to feed them like this.’

 

Joe glared at her, while Hoss and Adam watched to see what he would do. If there was one thing their stubborn little brother hated, it was being called a baby. He felt that he was very grown up and tried his best to imitate his big brothers in everything he could. He grabbed the spoon from his mother. ‘I do it!’ he said and put the spoonful into his mouth. Marie winked at the two boys who grinned back at her. It had worked again.

 

‘Do ya think Pa’ll have time tomorrow ta take a look at my saddle for me?’ asked Hoss. ‘It needs fixing.’

 

‘I don’t know dear,’ replied his stepmother. ‘You’ll have to ask him in the morning.’

 

‘I’ll look at it if he can’t,’ said Adam, and Marie shot him a grateful look. He stood up, wiping his mouth on his napkin. ‘I’ve got homework to do, may I be excused?’

 

‘Of course,’ said Marie. ‘Do you have any Hoss?’

 

Hoss sighed. ‘Yeah, spose I’d better do it.’

 

‘I’ll help you as soon as I get Joseph to bed,’ replied Marie.

 

Little Joe heard the word bed and began to kick at his chair. ‘No bed! I not sleepy.’

 

‘Yes you are,’ said his mother in a tired voice. ‘You’re very sleepy Joe, I can tell.’

 

He glared at her. ‘No!’ he repeated.

 

‘Does that kid know any other word but no?’ asked Adam as he walked away from the table. ‘It’s all he ever says lately.’

 

‘Sometimes I wonder,’ said Marie wearily. ‘He’s been such a handful today.’

 

‘Would you like me to put him to bed for you?’ asked Adam. ‘I don’t mind.’

 

Marie looked up at him gratefully. ‘Thank you Adam, that would be wonderful. Then I could get Hoss started on his homework quicker.’

 

Adam bent down and picked up his little brother, avoiding the little face that was liberally smeared with food as it brushed close to his own. ‘Come on little buddy,’ he said. ‘You want a ride?’

 

‘Horse! Horse!’ yelled the little boy flapping his arms and legs.

 

Adam swung him around and put him up on his shoulders as he started towards the stairs.

 

‘Wash his face well please Adam,’ Marie said as she motioned for Hoss to get his books and join her over near the fireplace. The boy made a face, but did as he was bid. ‘Now, what do you need to start with?’ she asked with a small sigh.

 

As she sat and watched the boy’s head bent over his work she felt a weariness come over her. She glanced at the clock and wondered just how long it would be before Ben made it home tonight. She really had to agree with Hoss, they hardly ever got to see him any more. If it wasn’t something happening around the ranch that needed his attention it was the never-ending paper work that seemed to be ever increasing.

 

She knew that Ben was looking forward to the day when Adam would leave school and join his father full-time on the ranch. He hoped that it would ease the burden somewhat. The problem was that Ben didn’t realise just how anxious Adam was not to join his father just yet. The boy had a very keen mind, and was bound and determined to go to College if it was at all possible. She and her stepson had had many talks about his future, and they were both agreed that it was the right way for him to proceed. The problem was convincing Ben about it.

 

Marie knew of course that her husband wanted the very best for all his boys, but just at this time she didn’t know that he would feel he could spare Adam. She sighed again. It was just an example of the many problems they were facing lately. Money was another issue, and the main reason why Ben worked as hard as he did. Or so he said. Marie suspected that it wouldn’t have mattered how much or how little they had, Ben would always be the sort of man who would have worked himself hard rather than leave it to others.

 

He had put so much into the establishment of this ranch in the last few years. He saw it as his legacy to his sons – and she had to agree it was a wonderful legacy to leave to them. But it seemed that now things were at the stage where their lives could be a little easier he just wasn’t prepared to back off a bit and hire others to do some of the work for him.

 

She sighed as she bent forward to check Hoss’ arithmetic. She didn’t really mind after all. She had great respect for her husband and his dream of The Ponderosa, but it did place a burden on her all the same. It hadn’t been easy taking on a ready-made family and then adding to it all in the first year of marriage. Not that she regretted it of course! She loved her husband and the boys dearly, but sometimes she felt as if she were drowning and needed Ben around a little more to help keep things afloat.

 

If it wasn’t Adam’s need for her support in his dealings with his father, it was Hoss’ problems with school and the fact that he missed his father so much. Then there was Joseph and the demands that he was constantly putting on her time and energy. She suspected that the little boy was going to be quite a handful as he grew older. And then there was the running of the household. How grateful she was to Hop Sing in this regard. The man was an absolute treasure, and she knew that without his quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) support the place would probably have fallen down around them quite some time ago.

 

‘Time for bed if you’ve finished now Hoss,’ she said.

 

Hoss closed his book happily and stood up to kiss her good night. ‘Good night Ma,’ he said.

 

Goodnight dear,’ she said as she gave him a hug. She dearly loved this gentle boy who had accepted her so willing as a substitute mother. ‘I’ll be up to check on you soon.’

 

She walked around the large room straightening up before going upstairs and checking on the boys. Adam was seated at his desk still working. ‘Don’t stay up too late Adam,’ she said.

 

He looked up from the book he was reading. ‘I won’t,’ he said. ‘I just want to finish this chapter.

 

‘Any trouble from Little Joe?’ she asked.

 

‘No. He drifted off as soon as I started to read to him.’

 

‘Thank you. He’s been difficult today, and I needed the break. Goodnight.’

 

‘Night,’ he said turning back to the book again.

 

Hoss was in bed, and she turned down the lamp for him. ‘What time will Pa be home?’ he asked, watching her.

 

She sat down on the edge of the bed. ‘I don’t know dear. Soon I hope.’ She stroked his sandy hair. ‘I’m sure he’ll be around a bit more on the weekend.’

 

Hoss’ eyes lit up. ‘Do ya think he might go fishing if I ask him to?’

 

She smiled at him. ‘I don’t know. You can ask I guess.’ She sincerely hoped that his father would have the time, and made a mental note to mention it to him later. Hoss really seemed to be missing his father’s attention at the moment, and she was becoming worried about it. She knew that Ben didn’t mean it and wouldn’t do anything to hurt the boy, but it was painful to watch the hope in the child’s eyes dashed time and again when his father was too busy for him.

 

She left his room and went to Little Joe next. She smiled when she saw the way he was lying in his bed, sprawled sideways and uncovered as usual. She bent down to straighten him up and re-cover him, noticing what a deep sleep he was in. As she stroked his curls she felt her heart constrict over this child of her heart. Nothing meant more to her than this one small little person who gave her just so much joy in her life. And such anxiety too! He was developing into quite a handful that was for sure and was probably the main reason why she was so tired lately. In his small way, this little boy needed his father so much as well. She only hoped that as the years went by Ben could be more available for him and his brothers. Lord knows they needed their father in their different ways.

 

Later on as she lay in bed she was very conscious of the empty space beside her. There were so many times lately when she had felt so alone. She longed for the man she loved to be here beside her and her whole body ached for him. After a while she heard his horse down in the yard and smiled to herself contentedly as she waited for him to come upstairs.

 

When Ben entered the bedroom he began to undress in the dark. ‘Put the lamp on,’ she said.

 

‘I didn’t want to wake you,’ he said quietly. He turned on the lamp and continued to get ready for bed.

 

‘Adam asleep?’ she asked. She knew that he would have checked on all the boys as he came up, as he did every night no matter what time he came in.

 

‘Yes. He had a book in the bed with him as usual,’ he replied.

 

‘Hoss was asking about going fishing with you on the weekend,’ Marie said.

 

Ben frowned. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to. There’s just so much to do.’

 

She sighed. ‘Ben he really needs some of your time at the moment. He’s feeling very neglected. I can see it.’

 

‘Well I can’t give it just at the moment,’ he said. ‘With the new hands starting things are hectic, plus there’s the branding about to start. I’ll take him another time.’

 

‘He needs to go now,’ she insisted. ‘Why can’t Charlie take charge of the branding?’

 

He stared at her. ‘You know I always do it,’ he said.

 

‘Yes I know you do, and that’s exactly my point.’ she replied. ‘Why can’t you just for once let go of something around here? You don’t always need to be right on the front line for every little thing that happens. Charlie is capable of doing it, and it would give you a bit more time for your sons. They need you Ben and so do I.’ She leant across and stroked him on the arm. ‘We miss not having you around so much.’

 

He frowned at her. ‘Marie, a ranch like this doesn’t run itself you know. I have to be on the front line as you call it. I don’t think I’m neglecting anyone in this family by doing it.’

 

She sighed. ‘Ben I don’t mean to criticise you. I know you’re doing what you think is best, but I can see the boys suffering at the moment. Hoss needs you to pay him more attention, and Adam …. well there are things Adam wants to talk to you about, but he feels such an obligation to you that he doesn’t want to upset you.’

 

‘What things?’

 

‘He’ll talk to you about them. Things about his future.’

 

‘You mean about College?’ She looked at him startled. ‘I’m not completely blind you know Marie. I do know what’s on the boy’s mind.’

 

‘What do you think about it then?’

 

‘I’m not against it. It’s just the timing that we need to look at. I need him around here at the moment, the ranch….’

 

‘It’s always the ranch isn’t it?’ she interrupted. ‘Why does the ranch come first and your sons second?’

 

‘I don’t think they come second!’ he said angrily. ‘I’ve never put them second to anything!’

 

‘Well it seems like you are at the moment,’ she said. ‘Even Little Joe needs you at the moment. When was the last time you had any time for him?’

 

‘I gave him a bath this morning,’ he declared.

 

‘Only because you didn’t have much choice in the matter. He literally had to run into you before you were forced to do something for him!’ She lowered her voice. ‘Ben I know you love them all dearly. It’s just that I think you need to show them that a bit more attention at the moment. I don’t mean to….’ Her words were cut short by a scream that cut through the stillness.

 

‘Not again!’ exclaimed Ben angrily.

 

‘He can’t help it,’ she said as she got out of bed. ‘He’s just a little boy!’ She walked down the hallway to Little Joe’s room and turned on the lamp. The child was sitting up in the middle of his bed shaking, with his thumb in his mouth and tears rolling down his cheeks. ‘It’s all right little one,’ said his mother picking him up and rocking him gently. ‘Did you have a bad dream again?’

 

Little Joe cuddled into his mother and nodded his head. ‘Yes,’ he sobbed as he clung to her.

 

She sat down on the rocking chair and pulled a blanket around them both as she soothed the child in her arms. His little body was trembling and she stroked his hair and sang to him softly as she rocked, trying to calm him down further. She looked up as Ben appeared in the doorway. ‘Do you want me to do it?’ he asked. She shook her head and he disappeared again. As she rocked, she stared out of the window at the star-filled sky and thought about the things that had just been said between the two of them.

 

How could she get through to that man just how much he meant to his boys – and to her? She knew that he loved them all, but the situation at the moment just wasn’t what they had both had planned it to be. How could they make it better?

 

 

—————–

 

 

Ben stood on the front porch and drank a cup of coffee, drinking in the fresh pine-scented air as he did so. He loved the early morning and the stillness that heralded the start of another day. It made him feel so at peace with this land that he had come to love so dearly and was now so much a part of him. He frowned as he thought about Marie’s words last night. Was he putting the ranch before his family? He really didn’t feel that he was!

 

She of all people should know just how much work there was to keep this place going. He had shared so much of his dreams with her and they had always pulled together with the same goals in mind, but lately he had felt a distance between them. Was it true what she had said? Not only was she criticising him for neglecting his boys, but she had begun to hint that she was feeling that way as well. He really didn’t want to hurt her or his sons, but couldn’t she see that he was doing what he had to for their sakes? He shook his head as he tried to make sense of it all.

 

‘Morning Boss,’ said Charlie his foreman as he emerged from the bunkhouse.

 

‘Morning Charlie,’ said Ben. ‘I’ll need some time with you this morning before I go to town. We have to sort out a few issues for the branding next week.’

 

‘Sure thing. I’ll be around for a while before I go out to the North Pasture,’ the man said as he walked over to the barn. He swatted Adam gently on the head as he passed the boy who was emerging from the building. ‘Morning,’ he said pleasantly.

 

‘Hi Charlie,’ said Adam with a smile. ‘Morning Pa.’

 

Ben waved at his oldest son as he watched him going about his chores. He could always rely on Adam to be up and around when he was supposed to be. The boy was a great support to him – always had been – and now that he was coming to the end of his schooling he would be around to ….. he stopped as he thought about what Marie had said last night. He knew the boy needed to go to College, for a mind like that couldn’t be wasted! But he desperately needed him for a while longer around here. Ben felt torn between doing what was best for his son. On the one hand his education was so important, but on the other so was the ranch. It was after all the boy’s future inheritance. He just didn’t know what to do.

 

A noise behind him made him turn. ‘Morning Pa,’ said Hoss as he hugged his father. ‘Ma said ta start my chores before breakfast.’

 

Ben returned the hug. ‘Good boy,’ he said. Hoss walked away towards the barn. Ben smiled to himself. That second boy of his was such a delight at times. He wondered if he really was feeling neglected? He never would have shown it himself of course, for it just wasn’t in the Hoss’ nature to make a fuss about anything. He must make more time for the boy when he was able to.

 

He turned and went into the house, smelling the breakfast that Hop Sing was placing on the table as he entered the dining room. Marie was standing at the table putting Little Joe into his chair and Ben walked over and kissed her before placing a kiss on the top of the child’s head. ‘Good morning,’ he said.

 

She smiled at him. ‘Morning. Ben, I’m sorry for last night. I didn’t mean to ….’

 

He put a finger over her mouth. ‘Shh. Let’s forget it,’ he said.

 

She frowned. He just didn’t get it did he? She didn’t want to forget it – the things they had talked about were so important! But he seemed to feel that the problems would just all go away.

 

‘That’s not what I meant…’ she started to say, but her words were interrupted by Hop Sing entering the room.

 

‘Boys should come for breakfast. I call. Eggs get cold!’

 

Little Joe heard the word eggs and wrinkled up his little nose. ‘Don’t want no eggs!’ he pouted and hit his spoon on the table.

 

Ben frowned at him as he sat down. ‘You’ll eat what you’re told to young man,’ he said as he put a spoonful of the eggs on his plate.

 

Joe frowned at him. ‘No! Yucky!’ he said.

 

Marie sat down as well as Adam and Hoss came into the room. ‘Come and eat boys,’ she said and began to hand their plates to them.

 

Ben began to pour himself a cup of coffee when he was startled by a spoonful of eggs that hit him on the side of the head. He turned quickly to see his youngest son pouting at him as he held his spoon up. ‘Yucky eggs!’ he yelled.

 

‘Joseph!’ Ben thundered. ‘Don’t you dare throw your food around the table!’ He glared at Hoss who began to giggle. ‘And don’t you encourage him either young man!’

 

Joe knelt up on his chair and leant forward to push the plate of eggs away from himself. ‘Don’t want them!’ he declared.

 

Marie calmly poured him a glass of milk as she pushed the plate back towards him. ‘Eat them Joseph’ she said quietly. He pouted at his mother, but sat down again.

 

‘Pa,’ said Hoss with his mouth full of eggs. ‘Can we go fishing tomorrow?’

 

Ben took a deep breath and glanced at Marie before he replied. ‘Not tomorrow Hoss. I need to do a few things around here.’

 

‘How about Sunday?’ persisted the boy.

 

Ben noticed a frown on Marie’s face. ‘I just can’t this weekend son. Maybe next week,’ he replied.

 

Hoss looked down at his plate. ‘OK Pa, next weekend will be fine, ‘he said.

 

There was silence and Ben felt his wife’s disapproval as he ate. He turned to Adam. ‘I’ll need you to help out tomorrow son,’ he said.

 

‘Sure thing Pa,’ replied his son. ‘Are we doing the fences?’

 

‘No I got them finished yesterday. There’s some work to do to get ready for the branding next week though.’

 

‘Can I help too Pa?’ asked Hoss.

 

Ben nodded. ‘Maybe,’ he said.

 

‘I help too!’ declared Little Joe.

 

Ben looked at him, still not too pleased about the egg-throwing incident. ‘You can help mama,’ he said.

 

Joe looked at him. ‘I help you papa,’ he insisted.

 

Ben shook his head. ‘No. You help mama,’ he repeated.

 

Joe hit his little fists on the table. ‘Not help mama! I help you!’ he yelled.

 

‘Joseph, that will do!’ yelled his father. ‘Now eat your eggs and be a good boy.’ He leant over and put a spoonful of eggs into the child’s hand, but frowned as he dropped it again. ‘Eat!’ he said angrily.

 

Marie leant over and picked up the spoon. ‘That’s not the way to get him to do it,’ she said.

 

Ben turned to her. ‘I’ll handle him,’ he said.

 

She frowned. ‘I only meant….’

 

‘I know how to deal with my own son,’ he interrupted.

 

Marie turned to the other two boys who were staring at them. ‘Time for school boys,’ she said. ‘Get your books now.’ They both stood up, said their goodbyes and headed for the door. She waited until they had left before she turned back towards her husband. ‘There was no need for that in front of the boys!’ she declared angrily. ‘I was only trying to give you some helpful advice!’

 

‘Yes, you’re very good at giving advice lately aren’t you?’ Ben retorted. ‘Seems like you think I need advice about how to handle all my sons.’

 

She glared back at him, her anger rising. ‘Yes, as a matter of fact I think you do!’ she declared. ‘I meant every word of what I said last night! It’s time you realised that these boys need more from you than just a part-time father!’

 

‘I have never been a part-time father in my life!’ declared Ben angrily. ‘How dare you say that!’

 

‘I dare because I care about them all Ben,’ she said. ‘I think it’s….’ Her words were cut short by Little Joe knocking his glass of milk over.

 

Ben uttered a curse and leant over to mop it up. ‘I’ve had just about enough of you!’ he yelled at the child. ‘Why does every meal time with you have to be like this?’

 

‘Ben he’s only a little boy, you’re frightening him!’ said Marie angrily. ‘Leave him alone.’

 

‘He’s old enough to know how to behave himself at the table,’ said Ben. He picked up the child and gave him a swat on the backside before replacing him on his chair. Little Joe began to cry.

 

‘Don’t take your bad temper out on a little boy,’ said Marie angrily as she picked up her son. ‘Why don’t you just go to work if that’s how you’re going to behave?’

 

Ben stood up and flung his napkin down on the table before he stormed out. Marie glared at him as he left the room. Little Joe put his thumb in his mouth and sucked on it noisily as he always did when he was upset, watching his mother’s face. After a moment he put his little hand up to touch her cheek. ‘Mama crying,’ he said.

 

‘Yes, mama crying,’ she said softly as she held him close.

 

 

—————

 

 

Both Ben and Marie sent that day thinking a lot and trying to work out how to work through their problems. Ben stayed away for the entire day and had lunch in town, and Marie busied herself around the house, keeping Little Joe occupied and supervising the older two boys when they returned from school. By the time the family gathered around the supper table both of them were ready to keep the peace again, and even though nothing was said about the incident both tried to show their concern for the other.

 

Adam was full of his day at school and kept them all entertained with the news of what had happened. His eyes shone as he spoke about the work that his teacher had given him to complete, and Marie resolved as she listened to him to bring the topic of College up again with Ben when the time was right. For once Little Joe behaved himself, which helped to keep things on an even keel. Hoss as usual ate heartily and listened to his older brother with wide eyes.

 

‘I wish I knew all the stuff that you do Adam’ he said wistfully.

 

Marie patted him on the arm. ‘You’re doing the best that you can at school dear,’ she said to him. ‘I’m sure your teacher is very pleased with you.’

 

He smiled at her. ‘Well I’m pleased tomorrow is the weekend,’ he said. ‘I’m gonna help ya ain’t I Pa?’

 

‘What?’ said his father. ‘Oh yes, there are lots of chores for you to get done son.’

 

‘I think Hoss was hoping to help you to get ready for the branding,’ Marie said as she noticed the little boy’s face fall.

 

Ben glanced at her before turning to his son. ‘That’s what I meant,’ he said. ‘I need all the branding irons cleaned and lots of wood chopped while Adam and I are out.’

 

Marie shook her head. He just doesn’t understand! she thought. The boy wants to be with him, it’s not the nature of the work that’s important! She held her tongue, not wanting to start another argument.

 

‘Hey there’s going to be a picnic on Sunday after Church,’ said Adam. ‘They were talking about it at school today. Can we go?’

 

Marie looked at Ben meaningfully. He opened his mouth, but then shut it again as he saw the look in her eye. ‘We’ll see,’ he said after a moment and noticed her nodding her head slightly. He supposed that would be the topic of another argument later. It seemed that all they did lately was go from one argument to another.

 

Little Joe climbed down from his chair and walked over to his father. ‘Come up,’ he said, holding his arms up to his father. Ben bent down and put the little boy on his lap, kissing him on the top of his head.

 

Marie smiled to see the two people that she loved more than anything in the world together like this. ‘Tell papa what you did today,’ she said.

 

‘Don’t tell me the fireplace again,’ said Ben with a laugh.

 

‘No nothing like that,’ she said. ‘Tell papa about the hens Little Joe.

 

The little boy looked up into his father’s face, his eyes shining brightly. ‘I got the eggs,’ he said proudly. ‘From the hens.’

 

‘Did you?’ asked his father with a serious expression on his face. ‘And how many did you break along the way?’

 

Little Joe held up both hands and showed all his ten fingers. ‘Four,’ he said proudly. ‘Hop Sing tooked the ovvers.’

 

‘That’s very good,’ said Ben, as Hoss and Adam giggled at their younger brother’s maths. ‘I hope that means you’re going to eat them now that you’re collecting them.’

 

Marie stood up and picked up her son. ‘I don’t think we’ll get into that now,’ she said. ‘I doubt that he really sees one thing having anything to do with the other. Say goodnight to everyone now Joseph.’

 

‘Goodnight everyone now,’ said the little boy and laughed along with his family as they chuckled at his words. He wasn’t sure what the joke was, but loved to join in with any laughter regardless. He waved to them over his mother’s shoulder as she carried him up the stairs to his bedroom, his curly head bobbing up and down. Ben sighed as he picked up his coffee cup. This was how he liked it, with everyone happy and contented. Why couldn’t they always be like this?

 

 

——————-

 

 

‘Hurry up Hoss,’ called out Marie from the bottom of the stairs. ‘It’s time to go!’

 

Hoss appeared at the top of the staircase dressed in his Sunday best. ‘Coming,’ he said as he bounded down the stairs and out of the door.

 

Marie moved to follow him, noticing Hop Sing carrying the large picnic basket across the dining room and through the front door ahead of her. She smiled. ‘Thank you Hop Sing. It looks like we’ll have plenty to eat.’

 

‘Plenty food,’ the man agreed. ‘Bring nothing back.’

 

‘We’ll do our best,’ she agreed with a laugh. Hop Sing loved nothing better than people appreciating his food, and measured its success by the amount that was consumed. Hoss was becoming a major help in that department! She put on her bonnet as she walked through the front door, happy that she had been able to convince Ben that they needed to attend the picnic together as a family. It would do them all good, and help to heal some of the feelings that had been less than positive lately.

 

As she entered the yard she gasped to see Adam trotting around the yard with Little Joe seated in front of him on his horse. The little boy was bouncing up and down in the saddle crowing with excitement. ‘Faster! Faster!’ he yelled.

 

‘Adam!’ she called. ‘Be careful with him!’

 

Adam glanced over to her. ‘He’s fine,’ he said with a grin. ‘He loves it!’

 

Ben looked up from the buggy as he finished tightening the reins. ‘He’s all right Marie, the boy’s got no fear of horses.’

 

‘I know that! That’s what I’m afraid of,’ she said as she reached up to take the protesting youngster from his older brother’s grasp. ‘One of these days he’ll get hurt because he can’t stay away from them.’ She had already noticed how difficult it had become to keep the child away from any horse that came within his line of vision. ‘Get into the buggy please Hoss,’ she instructed.

 

‘Don’t see why I can’t ride like Adam is,’ complained the boy.

 

‘Because we need someone to watch the picnic basket,’ she said as Ben helped her up into the buggy and handed Little Joe up to her. ‘We can’t have it fall off.’

 

Hoss grinned. ‘Spose not,’ he said, satisfied with her explanation.

 

The trip to church was very pleasant, apart from the constant battle they had with Little Joe trying to reach the horses in front of them. So finally Ben took the little boy and put him on his knee. He let him touch the end of the reins to give him the impression he was actually driving the team, and Joe sat proudly and quietly for the rest of the journey.

 

After the service was over they made it out to the picnic ground and found a pleasant spot near the creek. Hoss immediately began to hint about eating, so they decided to have lunch first. As Marie handed around the sandwiches she noticed a faraway look in Ben’s eye, and wondered what he was thinking. She hoped it wasn’t about work. To distract him, she pushed Little Joe in his direction. ‘Give this to papa,’ she said handing the little boy a sandwich.

 

The child eagerly trotted over to his father and handed it to him. ‘Sambich papa,’ he said with cheeky grin.

 

Ben smiled back at the child and took it from him, pulling him onto his lap as he began to eat. ‘There’s David Warner,’ he said as he looked around. ‘I’ll have to talk to him about those timber costings today.’

 

‘Can’t you just forget about work just this once?’ said Marie. ‘This is supposed to be a family day.’

 

‘It won’t take long,’ he said as he got up. ‘I won’t get the chance to see him again for a while, so I should do it now.’ He put a protesting Little Joe down on the rug and walked away.

 

‘Come here baby,’ said Marie, but Little Joe shook his head. ‘No! Want Papa!’ he said. Don’t we all! she thought to herself.

 

Adam stood up as he stuffed the last of his sandwich into his mouth. ‘I might just go and see Pete Henson,’ he said. ‘I need to talk to him about something.’ Marie smiled. She knew it wasn’t Pete that her stepson wanted to talk to, but his sister Ruth. Adam had recently begun to notice girls in a big way, and even though he tried to be discreet about it she knew exactly what was on his mind. She wondered if Ben knew just how much his son was growing up? She doubted if he’d even noticed this new interest of Adam’s.

 

She glanced over to Hoss, still engrossed in his lunch. ‘I suppose you want to go off as well?’ she asked.

 

‘No ma’am,’ he mumbled through a mouthful. ‘There’s still plenty of food left.’

 

She laughed. Trust Hoss to stick close to the picnic basket! He seemed to feel it was his personal duty to make sure that Hop Sing had nothing to complain about. She stood up. ‘Well you keep going Hoss, but close the basket when you’ve finished please,’ she said. ‘Come on Joseph, we’ll go and find something to do.’

 

Little Joe stood up and took his mother’s hand as they walked away. Throughout the afternoon Marie took the opportunity to acquaint herself with all the news from the other families in the district, while keeping an eye on her little son at play. It was a pleasant day, but she decided as they were driving back to the ranch that it had done nothing in the way of family bonding as she had hoped. She had hardly seen her husband as he had gone from one business acquaintance to another, and she doubted that the boys had either.

 

It seemed like nothing she did meant much to him any more. He was far too busy to even notice what any of them were doing! She wondered if he would even notice if she were around or not. She shifted on the seat and eased her arm that was going to sleep with the weight of a little curly head that leant on it. She smiled down at Little Joe who was asleep in her lap, and then glanced at Hoss who was diving into the picnic basket beside her checking for any crumbs that might be left. She noticed the far-away look on Adam’s face as he rode beside them, and smiled to think what that might be about. She glanced at her husband beside her and noticed with irritation the frown that was on his face as he drove. Work-related no doubt! she thought. Could that man ever think about anything else?

 

——————–

 

 

During the next few days Marie hardly got the chance to see her husband, let alone talk to him. She spent her time immersed in the needs of the boys and the household, feeling more and more frustrated as the days went on. What she did see of Ben she didn’t like either. He was very short tempered with them all, probably as a result of tiredness she knew.

 

He continually pushed Hoss aside and the boy was becoming quite unhappy about it. He hardly had anything to do with Little Joe at all, and she noticed with unease that the child didn’t even ask for his father as much any more. But it was Adam who really had her concerned. Ben seemed to just take the boy for granted at times, so much so that she became angry on his behalf. It seemed to be a given to his father that his oldest son work on ranch business every spare minute that he wasn’t at school or doing his homework. Not that he complained of course – Adam would never do that – but she could see in his eyes the frustration of doing a good job and not getting the recognition for it from his father.

 

As for herself, she felt as if her presence was not even noticed. She doubted that her husband would have known if she were there or not sometimes and wondered how long it would take him to realize it if she packed up and left. She resolved to try and get through to him again.

 

She waited until all the boys were in bed one night before she attempted to talk to him. Ben was seated at his desk in the study finishing off some paperwork when she approached him. ‘Ben?’ she said quietly.

 

‘Mmmm?’ he said without looking up from his work.

 

‘Ben, I’d like to talk to you.’

 

‘Can’t it wait? I have to finish this.’

 

‘No it can’t really wait. It’s important,’ she said in a frustrated tone.

 

He put his head up. ‘What?’ he asked irritably.

 

She glared at him, feeling her temper rise. ‘Well excuse me!’ she said. ‘If it’s too much trouble for you, then forget it!’ She turned and walked away from him, expecting him to call her back, and was surprised when he didn’t. As she reached the top of the stairs she glanced back and saw him hard at his work again, and her blood boiled.

 

She stormed down the hallway, checking on the boys quickly before she reached her room and started getting ready for bed. As she lay on her back with her arms crossed over her chest she felt her anger rising even more, and her frustration spilling out of control. The tears began to fall as she wondered just how important she was in her husband’s life after all. Did he even care what was on her mind? She doubted it.

 

After a while she heard his footsteps on the stairs and listened to his slow approach up the hallway as he also stopped to check in on the boys. As he reached their doorway she turned over and faced the wall, pretending she was asleep. ‘Marie?’ he called softly as he began to get undressed. ‘Are you awake?’

 

She kept still and didn’t open her eyes. Two can play at this game, she thought. Let him see if he likes being ignored! As he slipped into the bed beside her he put his arms around her and said quietly into her ear, ‘I know you’re awake.’

 

She brushed his arms away and moved further over in the bed. ‘Keep away from me!’ she said angrily.

 

‘Come on darling, I’m sorry,’ he said gently. ‘It’s just that I needed to get that finished. ‘Now tell me what’s on your mind.’

 

She turned to face him. ‘Oh yes! It’s all right when you’re ready isn’t it? Why does everything have to be in your time Benjamin Cartwright? Everything in this world doesn’t revolve around you, you know!’

 

He was taken aback by the force in her voice. ‘I never said that it did,’ he bit back angrily.

 

‘Well you certainly act like it!’ she replied. ‘You never have time for any of us any more! You act like it’s a privilege if you pay us any attention at all! Sometimes I think you wouldn’t care if I was even around or not!’

 

He stared at her. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ he said wearily and turned over.

 

She glared at him. ‘Stupid am I? Well you might just come home one day and find me not here! How would you like that, or would you even notice?’

 

‘Of course I’d notice,’ he said wearily. ‘I need you around here.’

 

‘You need me? What for? To look after your sons and your house, that’s about it! Nothing else that’s for sure! When was the last time we even sat and talked about anything other than the ranch or the boys?’ She pointed her finger at him. ‘You count yourself lucky that I’ve stayed here as long as I have.’

 

Ben sighed. ‘Marie, come on! You know I appreciate you around here! I married you didn’t I?’

 

‘Yes you married me. And I’m beginning to wonder why! Maybe we’d be better off apart!’

 

‘Stop talking like that. You know you’d never leave the boys, so why go on about it?’ he mumbled into his pillow.

 

‘I was talking about leaving you! I don’t intend to leave the boys,’ she said getting quite heated now. ‘As if I would!’

 

He turned to face her again. ‘Don’t you ever talk about taking my sons away from me!’ he said angrily. ‘That’s not funny Marie!’

 

She sat up and leant towards him. ‘I’m not trying to be funny, can’t you understand that? Adam is old enough to cope of course, but the two younger ones would definitely come with me!’

 

He sat up as well. ‘How dare you!’ he said pointing his finger at her. ‘You will never take my sons away from me! Little Joe I agree you have a claim to, but Hoss is mine!’

 

There was a tense silence between them before she exploded, all her anger and frustration spilling out towards him in one rush. ‘What?’ she yelled incredulously. ‘How could you say a thing like that?’ She began to cry. ‘After all I’ve done for you and these boys, to have you fling that back in my face this way. That child is as much mine as if I gave birth to him. They both are! I feel as close to them as I possibly could and you dare to say that to me?’

 

He touched her on the arm. ‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he said. ‘I know how you feel about them and they certainly love you.’ He sighed. ‘Why are we talking like this anyway? It’s pointless and you know it as well as I do.’

 

She stared at him, unable to believe that he was still not taking her seriously. ‘There’s no point in talking to you,’ she said with the tears falling down her face.

 

He reached for her. ‘Marie….’

 

She pushed his arms away angrily. ‘Don’t touch me!’ she yelled as she began to get out of the bed. ‘I’ve had just about enough of….’ She turned as she heard a small sound near the doorway and saw Little Joe standing there in his nightshirt with his thumb stuck in his mouth and a worried expression on his face. ‘Mama?’ he said.

 

She reached out for him and turned to Ben with the child in her arms. ‘See what you’ve done now? Are you satisfied? You’ve woken him up and upset him!’

 

Ben opened his eyes wide. ‘I’ve upset him?’ he said. ‘You’re the one who’s been doing all the yelling.’

 

She glared at him. ‘Well excuse me!’ she said and flounced out of the room with the little boy in her arms. Ben sighed and lay down in the bed again, waiting for her to return. After a while it became apparent that she wasn’t going to, and he wearily closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

 

 

———————

 

 

 

The ray of sunlight reached her face and Marie opened her eyes sleepily. She hesitated for a moment as she saw the different surroundings, and then it all came rushing back to her as she looked at the ceiling of her son’s room. She moved slightly in the bed and smiled to see her little boy’s face so close to hers in repose. Little Joe’s legs were entangled around her nightshirt and his arms were tightly clasped around her waist. His breathing was deep and even and she leant forward and immersed herself in his baby smell.

 

She sighed as she slowly tried to disentangle herself from the little boy’s grasp without waking him, but his eyes opened when she moved away from him. ‘Good morning little one,’ she said gently as she planted a kiss on his curly head.

 

He put his head up so that his face was nearly touching hers. ‘Hello mama,’ he said sleepily. ‘What you doing in my bed?’

 

‘I’m giving you a hug,’ she said, doing just that.

 

He giggled in glee and hugged her back with an impish expression on his face. ‘Love you mama,’ he said happily.

 

‘I love you too baby,’ she said, stroking his curly hair. At least someone does! she thought ruefully. She hopped out of bed and dressed the little boy quickly before leading him into her room. She sat him on the empty bed and gave him a hairbrush to keep him amused while she dressed herself quickly, not looking forward to facing her husband downstairs. Never before had she left his bed like that, and she was sure he would be very upset with her.

 

As she came downstairs she noticed Adam and Hoss already seated at the table eating breakfast. Little Joe ran over to them and gave each of them a hug. ‘Good morning boys,’ she said as she seated her son and then herself at the table and began to serve breakfast for the two of them. ‘Is your father still outside?’

 

‘He’s gone,’ said Adam. ‘He said to tell you he had to go out early to the North Pasture with Charlie. He won’t be back until supper time.’

 

She glared at her plate and tried to calm herself, anxious for the boys not to see the tears that she felt were forming. He couldn’t have even waited to say goodbye to her! After all that she had said last night, he didn’t even think it was important enough to wait and make his peace with her before he left!

 

It was a quiet breakfast, punctuated at intervals by Little Joe’s announcements of his dislike for the foods that were placed in front of him. When the two boys had left for school, Marie sat dejectedly watching Little Joe gleefully mixing his eggs in with his milk and didn’t even feel she had the energy to correct him.

 

What was she to do? She really felt she couldn’t go on like this, but what after all was the alternative? She thought back to her threat of last night and wondered if she should do it just to prompt Ben into acting. Maybe if she moved into town for a couple of days he’d be shocked into realising that she was right?

 

She sighed. He’d been right of course about the boys, for she couldn’t do it to them. She looked at her little son beside her with his face smeared with eggs and butter, grinning at her. She smiled back at him. Sometimes he was just so cute! It was a shame that his father wasn’t around often enough to see this little one growing up. He was missing out on so much. She put her chin on her hand and sighed again. Maybe she should do it? It would certainly make him sit up and take notice. He would probably come storming into town begging her to return and then things could go back to the way they had been.

 

She thought back to the time when she had first come to The Ponderosa. That first year had been a difficult time for them all, but she and Ben had been so close to each other through it all. They had weathered the problems with Adam. The ranch had begun to take off. They had welcomed their own darling little son. But most importantly of all they had gotten to know each other so well and supported each other through all their trials. Yes, they had been good days.

 

The problem was perhaps that now that things were a little easier for them all, the effort just didn’t need to be made any more. And with the lack of effort came a complacency that had taken the fire and passion out of their relationship. Maybe she had to do something drastic to get it back again? Maybe this was the answer to their problems? One thing for sure, talking about it wasn’t working.

 

She stood up abruptly and picked up Little Joe. ‘Come on baby,’ she said. ‘We’re going on a little trip. You’d like that wouldn’t you?’

 

‘Ride?’ he asked delightedly,

 

‘Yes, ride,’ she said with a grin. ‘We’re going on a ride into town my darling. And then papa will come looking for us.’ She swung him around as she mounted the stairs, and he chuckled mischievously in her arms.

 

 

—————-

 

 

Adam stepped aside to let his little brother into the house in front of him. Hoss was always anxious to get in first after school, usually keen to see what Hop Sing or Marie had ready for them to eat. Adam flinched as he heard the front door bang open and closed it quietly, expecting Marie to come bounding around the corner and tell them off for waking up Little Joe from his afternoon nap. He was surprised when she didn’t appear.

 

‘Ma! Hop Sing! We’re home!’ yelled Hoss as he ran into the kitchen. He stopped as he saw the cook pounding some pastry on the table. ‘Where’s ma Hop Sing?’ he asked.

 

‘Gone town,’ Hop Sing replied and motioned to the snack he had prepared and left on the table. ‘Eat.’ Hoss fell on the food eagerly as Adam come into the room. Hop Sing handed him a letter. ‘Missy Cartwright left for you,’ he said. He looked at the boys carefully. He had a very good idea of what was happening, as nothing much escaped his notice. He had seen the two bags Marie had piled into the buggy before she left, and was fairly sure that she didn’t intend to come back again that day. They both knew without saying the words that he would watch over the boys as he always had done, but he was still anxious to know what was in the letter she had written. He had seen her worried expression when she had written it, and he wanted to reassure the boys until their father got home.

 

Adam looked at the paper in his hand puzzled. ‘For me?’ he said. ‘Why would Marie have written me a letter?’

 

Probably because she didn’t want to write it to that father of yours, thought Hop Sing as he pounded the pastry. He knew that she would intend Adam to show the letter to his father to get a message to him that she preferred not to say to the man directly. He thought these things, but merely shrugged and said, ‘Open and see.’

 

Adam did just that. He ripped the envelope open and read it out aloud to his brother and Hop Sing.

 

 

Dear Adam,

 

I’m sorry that I’m not at home for you and Hoss this afternoon. I have taken Little Joe with me and we are staying in town for a little while. Your father will explain it to you when he gets home tonight. Please look after Hoss for me while I’m gone, and make sure that you both eat well and do as your father and Hop Sing tell you.

 

I will be staying at The International House. Please bring Hoss to see me if you would both like to come after school tomorrow. I would love to see you both, and I know that Joseph will be missing you too. I love you both very much,

 

Love from,

Marie.

 

 

Adam looked up at Hop Sing and his brother. ‘She doesn’t say why she went,’ he said puzzled. He noticed the worried expression on Hoss’ face and quickly changed his attitude. ‘Well, we’ll show the letter to Pa when he gets home. He’ll explain it to us. Come on Hoss let’s get our chores done.’

 

Hop Sing continued to pound the pastry as the boys left the kitchen. He had his own theory about just what Mr Ben would think about all this, and wondered just how the man would explain it all to those two boys.

 

When he first read the letter, Ben wondered that too. His first feeling was of anger and frustration that she had actually carried out her plan, and then he looked at the worried faces of the two boys in front of him and knew that he couldn’t show his true feelings. ‘Don’t worry boys,’ he said. ‘Marie just needs a bit of time to herself at the moment.’

 

‘Then why’d she take little Joe with her Pa?’ asked Hoss.

 

Ben smiled at him. ‘Well she couldn’t really leave him here could she? With you and Adam at school all day and Hop Sing and I busy, who would look after him?’

 

Hoss nodded. ‘When will they come home?’ he asked.

 

‘I’m not sure about that,’ said Ben truthfully. ‘I’ll have to go into town and ask her.’

 

‘Can we go after school tomorrow?’ the boy persisted.

 

Ben ruffled his hair. ‘Of course you may. Adam will take you.’ He looked questioningly at his oldest son who nodded with a worried expression on his face. Ben knew that he wasn’t fooled about his father’s nonchalant attitude. ‘Hoss run upstairs now and get washed up for supper,’ instructed his father.

 

As the boy mounted the stairs, Ben turned to Adam. ‘I suppose you realise that this comes as a shock to me son,’ he said. Adam nodded, but didn’t say anything. ‘Adam, Marie and I have been having a few problems lately. It’s true what I said about her needing some time out. I’m sure that’s all it is.’

 

‘Are you going to go in and talk to her Pa?’

 

‘Yes of course I am. I’ll give her tonight to calm down, and then go in tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Hopefully by the time you take your brother over to see her she’ll be ready to come home.’ He put his arm around his son’s shoulders. ‘Don’t worry son, this sort of thing happens all the time to married couples. Marie will be back home again after she calms down.’

 

Adam nodded. ‘Yeah sure Pa,’ he said. ‘And don’t worry about Hoss, I’ll look out for him.’

 

Ben smiled at him. ‘I know you will. You always have, haven’t you?’

 

Later that evening when the boys were in bed, Ben sat on the front porch deep in thought. He had sensed Hop Sing’s disapproval during supper, and wondered if he had made the right decision about not going into town tonight to have it out with his wife. He shook his head. No! Judging by her attitude during the last few days it would be best for both of them if he waited and gave her a cooling off period. He would go in tomorrow to see her. He knew that she would be expecting him, after all she hadn’t left the name of the Hotel for just Adam’s information!

 

Ben wondered what he was going to say to her. He knew that she was partially right about the things she had said to him, but he honestly didn’t know how to make things any better. There were just so many demands on him with the running of this ranch, and he needed to put so much energy into it for just a while longer. Couldn’t she see that? He didn’t mean to neglect her or his boys, but it was just the way it had to be for a while at least. Surely he could make her understand that? He sighed. He would have to, there were no two ways about it.

 

——————

 

 

Marie looked out of the window onto the street below. She had spent hours waiting for Ben to arrive and now it seemed that she had waited in vain. Behind her Little Joe slept peacefully in the bed that they were both to share that night.   She had found it difficult to keep the lively little boy occupied all day and had certainly breathed a sigh of relief when he had finally given in to sleep earlier. She had resorted to getting him a haircut to fill in an hour or so, and it had proved to be a big mistake.

 

For some unknown reason Little Joe had always had a great aversion to having a haircut, and she usually tried to avoid the scene that always accompanied them. That was why his hair was always longer than was usual for a child his age. It took both his parents to hold him still long enough for the barber to do the job properly and today without Ben there to help hold onto him it proved to be more than she could handle. The result was rather a botched job that made his little head look somewhat strange. His curls were slightly uneven and stuck out from his head a peculiar angle, making him look almost like a little rag doll. A few people had laughed at him on their way back to the Hotel, but she was just too tired and dispirited to care.

 

As the lonely hours had passed she longed for Ben to arrive and take her back to where they both belonged, but he didn’t come. She had really thought he would be here as quickly as he could, but apparently she had been wrong in thinking that he cared that much. Maybe she had been wrong about him and he didn’t care at all? In spite of herself the tears began to fall again and she gave herself up to the luxury of sobbing her grief and loneliness out to the empty night air before turning away from the window.

 

 

—————–

 

 

It was close to midday when Ben rode into town. He had spent the morning getting the men organised and left them under Charlie’s supervision, and had grabbed a bite to eat before coming in to face what he felt was going to be a difficult session. He knew very well just how riled up his wife could get, and he wasn’t looking forward to this at all.

 

As he knocked on the door of her room in The International House he wondered what for the hundredth time that day just what he was going to say to her. He truly regretted the problems they were having and wanted her to come back with him straight away where she belonged, but on the other hand he couldn’t really agree with everything she had said to him. He was still wondering what to say when the door was opened and Marie stood in front of him.

 

‘Hello,’ she said calmly opening the door and letting him enter.

 

‘Papa,’ cried Little Joe and flung himself on his father as if he hadn’t seen him for at least a week.

 

‘Hello young man,’ said Ben hugging him close. ‘My God Marie, what did you do to him?’ he exclaimed as he held the child away from him and looked at his strange haircut.

 

She bristled immediately. ‘I took him to the barber,’ she said haughtily.

 

‘Is that the best he could do?’ Ben asked.

 

‘Yes, under the circumstances,’ she replied. ‘It was hard enough keeping the child amused for the day without having to deal with getting his haircut by myself.’

 

‘Then why did you?’ he replied. ‘There was no need to. And who’s choice was it to be here anyway?’ He stopped himself as he realised that they had launched straight into fighting before they had even said hello properly.

 

Marie realised it at the same moment, and bit her tongue on her sarcastic reply. ‘This isn’t getting us anywhere,’ she said. ‘I suppose you’ve come to talk so we might as well get it over with.’ She motioned to the table and chairs in the corner of the room and they sat down, Little Joe still perched on his father’s knee.

 

Marie waited for Ben to speak, but he hesitated not quite knowing how to begin. So in the end it was Little Joe who broke the silence for both of them. ‘We go home wiv papa now?’ he said innocently to his mother.

 

‘That’s a good question young man,’ said Ben looking directly at his wife. ‘Are you prepared to answer him?’

 

She glared at him. This was not going the way she had expected at all. She had thought Ben would be very contrite and humble, ready to beg her to come home straight away and yet here he was taunting her with her own son. ‘I’ll come home when I’m good and ready,’ she said, ‘and not before.’

 

Ben drew a deep breath. This wasn’t how he’d hoped it would go. He’d thought she would be all through her anger with him and ready to return so that they could talk it all out at home. Instead, she seemed all set for another session right here and now. ‘Well if that’s the way you feel Marie, I just don’t have it in me now to carry on with all this nonsense.’

 

‘Nonsense? You call ignoring me and your sons nonsense? You have a lot to learn Ben Cartwright, and I thought you might have done some of that learning during the past day. Apparently I was wrong!’

 

‘You’ve been wrong about quite a few things lately haven’t you?’ he replied. ‘You seem to feel that you have all the answers. Well you don’t! When you’re ready to listen to reason just let me know and I’ll come back to talk this thing through. Until then, I suggest you give some serious thought to just what you’re doing to this family.’ He stood up and sat Little Joe on his chair as he vacated it. ‘Let me know when you’re ready to be reasonable and I’ll come back.’

 

‘When I’m ready to be reasonable!’ she exclaimed. ‘And what I’m doing to this family? Just think about your own actions before you going blaming me for this!’ He turned to walk towards the door. ‘That’s right!’ she yelled. ‘Just walk away from it like you always do! Just ignore me like you’re always doing lately!’

 

Little Joe held his hands up to his father, distressed to hear his parents fighting. ‘Papa!’ he cried as Ben put his hand on the doorknob. ‘I go wiv papa!’ he cried.

 

Marie bent down and picked him up. ‘No little one, you stay here with mama,’ she said to him.

 

‘No!’ he yelled. ‘Go wiv papa!’

 

Ben turned back to his son and took him from his mother’s arms. ‘It’s all right Little Joe,’ he said soothingly. ‘Mama and papa aren’t angry with you.’ He caressed the child’s misshapen locks. ‘You stay with mama now.’ He tried to hand him back to Marie, but the little boy kicked out at them both and tried to cling onto his father.

 

No!’ he yelled as Ben opened the door. ‘Papa!’

 

Marie tried to soothe him. ‘It’s all right little one,’ she said into this ear. ‘It’s all right.’

 

As Ben went down the staircase he could hear his son’s sobs behind him and they wrenched at his heart. He didn’t want this to be happening! He wanted to turn back to the room and gather his wife and child to him and take them back to where they belonged. But he couldn’t back down against such uncalled for remarks! He needed to have time to think, and maybe it was for the best if they did have time out from each other for the moment.

 

Marie held onto her sobbing son and tried to comfort him as she walked to the window and looked down to the street. As she watched her husband depart on his horse she felt as if a part of her were going down the street with him. Why was it that they just couldn’t even spend ten minutes in a room together without fighting? Maybe they did need time away from each other for a while.

 

 

—————–

 

 

‘Come on,’ said Adam. ‘He said it was Room 17.’ He led his younger brother down the hallway towards the room the desk clerk had indicated and knocked on the door.

 

After a moment Marie opened it with a smile on her face. ‘Boys!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’m so glad you came!’ she opened her arms and hugged Hoss to her and then patted Adam on the shoulder. She knew from experience that he didn’t like to be touched as much as his younger brother, and often found it difficult to know just how far she could go in showing him her affection.

 

They both grinned at her. ‘Where’s Little Joe?’ asked Hoss.

 

‘I’s here!’ declared the little boy jumping up and down with excitement to see his brothers.

 

‘Hi there little buddy,’ said Adam bending down to give him a hug. ‘You looking after your mama?’

 

‘Yes,’ said the little boy proudly. ‘And I get haircut!’

 

Adam looked at him oddly. ‘You sure did,’ he said simply.

 

Hoss flung his arms around his little brother. ‘Hi Little Joe!’ he said. ‘How ya been buddy?’

 

‘Good Hoss,’ replied little Joe. ‘How ya been Hoss?’

 

‘I been good too!’ his older brother declared happily.

 

Marie motioned over to the table. ‘I thought that you’d both come, so I ordered up something for us all.’ She indicated the food and drink on the table. ‘Help yourselves boys.’

 

They fell on the afternoon tea, doing great justice to it. Even Little Joe seemed caught up in the moment and managed to finish a drink and a whole piece of cake before getting down from the table and wandering over towards his crayons and paper that his mother had put on the floor for him.

 

‘Are ya coming home with us now ma?’ said Hoss.

 

Marie drew a deep breath and glanced at Adam before she replied. ‘No not right now dear,’ she said. ‘Did your father tell you what this is all about?’

 

‘He just said that you need some time to yourself for a while,’ said Adam looking at her carefully. ‘He didn’t really say why, except that he and you had some problems to sort out.’

 

She nodded. ‘Yes that’s about it boys. I want you to know it’s got nothing to do with either of you. It’s just some issues between your father and myself.’

 

‘So when are ya coming home ma?’ persisted Hoss.

 

‘I’m sure it will be soon dear,’ she said. ‘Sometimes it’s best to have patience with these things.’ She was talking more to herself than to the boys, and she felt that Adam probably sensed it. ‘I need you both to help your father at the moment,’ she said. ‘I’m sure we’ll all get back to normal very soon.’ She sincerely hoped her words would come true.

 

When they were saying goodbye and hours or so later, she held Hoss tightly to her and whispered in his ear. ‘You be good for your Pa and brother Hoss. Come and see me again after school tomorrow.’

 

He grinned up at her. ‘I will,’ he said. ‘Can we have more of them cakes if I do come?’

 

She smiled at him. ‘We’ll see,’ she said.

 

She stepped over to Adam and drew him close to her. For once the boy didn’t pull away, but allowed her to give him a brief hug. ‘You look after yourself too Adam,’ she said.

 

‘I will,’ he said looking at the floor. She sensed his embarrassment, and didn’t push him any more. Watching as they said good-bye to their little brother she couldn’t help but feel a lump come into her throat. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t they all just get back to where they had been before? Why did that stubborn husband of hers insist on causing all these problems for them all? She clung onto Little Joe’s hand and waved to them both as they descended the stairs. ‘Come on Little Joe, she said. ‘Let’s get you a bath.’

 

The little boy looked up at her and said firmly. ‘No barf!’

 

Here we go again! she thought. Oh well! At least fighting with him gives me something to do!

 

 

——————–

 

 

 

The next few days were very long ones for Marie. She certainly had her work cut out for her in trying to keep Little Joe amused and out of mischief, which she thought was probably just as well for it helped to keep her mind away from other things. Every morning they would spend in the shops or taking walks around the surrounding outskirts and she made a point of telling everyone that she had come into town for a few days to catch up on some purchasing for herself and the boys. Not that many people believed it. She could tell from the looks that they gave her that they weren’t fooled, but there was no way that she was going to let anyone know the true cause for her stay in town.

 

Each afternoon while Little Joe took his nap she would try and read, but usually wound up just staring out of the window trying to make sense out of all this. The boys came to visit each afternoon after school and they helped to break up the monotony of the day by keeping Little Joe amused for her and telling her all about their day as well.

 

She asked several times how their father was, and each time she got the same reaction. The answer was always that he was fine and working hard, but was said with a hesitation that made her feel that they either weren’t comfortable in commenting or didn’t quite believe what they were saying. Whatever the reason, she didn’t press them, but tried to make light of it.

 

Hoss asked each day when she was returning to the ranch, and she found it increasingly difficult to explain to him why she couldn’t just now. In fact she found it increasingly difficult to justify it to herself as the time went on as well. With each day that passed she missed her husband more and more, and the problems that they were facing just seemed so silly now. She knew that when Ben did come to see her they would have a very different conversation to the last one, but the thought kept crossing her mind – why hadn’t he come? Had he really meant it when he said that he would wait for her to make the first move? She really hoped not, as she found it so hard to back down.

 

She supposed it was her stubborn temper. She had always been told as a child that she was too stubborn for her own good, and now as an adult she found that old habits were hard to break. Not that the man she had married wasn’t stubborn too of course! No one could come close to him in that department, and she did feel justified in believing that he was just as bad as her. The time was coming when one of them would have to back down, and she just hoped that one of them could bring themselves to do it sooner rather than later.

 

In the meantime she waited.

 

Ben had spent his time keeping busy as he always did on the ranch. He did try to give the boys more of his attention at night now, to fill the hole that he knew they were feeling with Marie not there. He couldn’t believe just how much he missed her! He knew she was right and he hadn’t given her and the boys the attention he should have in the recent past, and in the last few days she had definitely prompted him to look at his priorities again. Maybe he did need to readjust his life and concentrate on what was most important in it?

 

His wife and children would always take precedence over anything else, even this land that he loved so well. He had always known it to be so, but maybe he needed to show it more. Maybe he just needed to show them how he felt? Maybe he had been taking them all for granted?

 

He missed Little Joe as well, and he knew that the boys did. He had never realised just how much that little boy had brought to their lives before now, and sadly missed the mischief that he caused each day. The house just wasn’t the same without his constant questions and giggles resounding around it. Ben smiled as he thought about the fact that he even missed the infernal yelling of ‘No!’ every time they had a conversation. It definitely was the youngster’s favourite word!

 

Each day he thought about going into town and confronting Marie with his thoughts, but each day something held him back.   He didn’t want to make things any worse than they already were and wanted to be sure that she would be receptive to him when he did go in. The boys gave him a daily report on just how the two of them were doing and he was satisfied that things were comfortable for them, but he knew the time was drawing close when he would need to confront her. He knew that Marie would never be the one to back down first, for it just wasn’t in her nature to do something like that. She was the sort of woman who would take the peace offering when it was initiated by someone else, but couldn’t bring herself to be the first one to hold it out. She was just about the most stubborn person he had ever come across, and maybe that was why he loved her so much! He knew that he was stubborn too and that didn’t help matters, but surely one of them had to give in soon. He sighed as he realised just who that someone would have to be, and prepared himself to make the decision before it was too late.

 

 

——————

 

 

Maire was bored! She was so bored that she could have screamed at the wall just for something to do. It had been a difficult morning with Little Joe and she was ready to shake him as well, and that worried her. She knew she had to do something to ease the tension and decided to go for a buggy ride. After all, the buggy was just sitting in the Livery Stable doing nothing and she felt she might as well make use of it. She ordered a picnic lunch for the two of them from the kitchen and packed it into the back and off they set for her favourite spot near the lake.

 

There was no way that Ben was going to keep her away from where she wanted to go. He didn’t exclusively own The Ponderosa and she had every right to be travelling there if she wanted to! She only hoped she wouldn’t run into him on the way.

 

Little Joe sat beside her bouncing up and down on the seat. ‘Keep still Joseph,’ she said irritably. ‘Mama has to drive the horses and I can’t hold onto you at the same time.’

 

‘Me drive!’ the little boy yelled and tried to grab the reins from her.

 

She slapped his hand away. ‘No! I said to be still!’

 

He pouted at her and crossed his little arms over his chest. ‘Papa let me drive!’ he announced.

 

‘Well I’m not papa,’ she said. ‘Look over there at that little rabbit, did you see him?’ She tried to distract the child, but he wasn’t to be fooled.

 

‘No!’ he said. ‘I drive!’ He tried to grab the reins from her again and she turned to push him back onto the seat. ‘Joseph I said to sit down!’ she said. ‘Do as you are told please or I’ll stop this buggy and give you a real smack young man!’

 

Little Joe stuck his tongue out at her and hit her on the arm. ‘Mama mean!’ he yelled at her. ‘Me drive!’

 

Marie lost her temper with him and turned to face him on the seat. ‘I told you once to sit down Joseph and I meant it,’ she yelled. ‘Now stop being a naughty …..’ her words were cut short by a sharp jolt and she turned back to see the ground tipping sideways as the buggy hit a rock. ‘Oh my …..’ she began and reached out to the little boy beside her. She let go of the reins and held him tightly to her as they were thrown through the air and landed heavily onto the ground. The buggy tipped over the top of them and came to rest with a resounding crash.

 

The horse reared in fright and attempted to free himself from the restrictions of the reins, but his movements only served to entangle himself more in them and he became quite frightened. As the animal struggled to free himself he tipped the buggy over even further and pulled it along the ground, dragging the bodies that were caught under it with him as well. Finally he stopped and came to rest under a tree, panting with the exertion. His eyes rolled back in his head and he stood still waiting for the familiar hand to calm him down, but it didn’t come. Gradually his breathing quietened down and he stood still, staring into the distance while waiting to be freed.

 

Behind him the buggy remained upside down and underneath it Marie lay still and unconscious, her body shielding that of her little son who lay beneath her. The only sound that could be heard was a bird singing in the tree above them.

 

 

——————

 

 

Hoss ran down the hallway and pounded on the door of Number 17. ‘Hey ma,’ he yelled, ‘We’re here!’

 

Adam came sauntering along behind him. ‘Keep your voice down,’ he said. ‘We’re not at home you know!’

 

Hoss grinned at him. ‘She’ll be real pleased when she sees my spelling test,’ he said as he pounded on the door again. ‘Hey ma!’

 

After a few minutes it became apparent to the two boys that no one was there. ‘That’s strange, said Adam. ‘She knows we always come at this time. Let’s go downstairs and check.’

 

He led his brother back down into the hotel lobby and asked the desk clerk if he knew where Marie had gone.

 

‘She left about noon with the little boy,’ the man said. ‘Didn’t say when they’d get back, but she took a picnic lunch with them.’

 

‘Thanks,’ said Adam. ‘It’s OK Hoss, they just went somewhere for a picnic that’s all. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to show her your spelling.’

 

Aw!’ said Hoss. ‘Now we don’t get no more of them cakes, and we don’t even get to see Little Joe today!’

 

‘Hop Sing’ll have something for us to eat when we get home,’ said Adam. ‘And I’m sure you can do without seeing that little scallywag for one day.’

 

Hop Sing was surprised to see them home so early, but did indeed have something for them to eat. ‘How Missy Cartwright and Little Joe today?’ he asked.

 

‘Don’t know,’ said Hoss with his mouth full. ‘They weren’t there.’

 

‘What do you mean they weren’t there?’ asked his father coming in behind them. ‘Where were they?’

 

‘It’s OK Pa,’ said Adam. ‘They only went on a picnic. The desk clerk said.’

 

‘Oh,’ said Ben relieved. ‘Well get to your chores boys, I want to have supper early tonight so I can go into town afterwards to see your mother.’

 

‘Yes sir,’ said Adam and pulled Hoss out of the room.

 

Hop Sing glared at his employer. ‘About time too!’ he declared. ‘This family not same without Missy Cartwright and Little Joe here!’

 

‘I agree Hop Sing,’ said Ben with a rueful smile. ‘I’ll just have to get them back won’t I?’

 

 

—————–

 

 

A slight movement under the buggy caused the horse to turn his head and look at the small curly head that popped out from under it. Little Joe looked around him with wide eyes, and then wriggled out from under his mother’s body. As he sat up unsteadily and stuck his thumb into his mouth he looked down at her face and shook her. ‘Mama!’ he said. ‘Mama wake up!’ She didn’t move, so he tried again. ‘Mama wake up now!’ Still she didn’t move, and he frowned as he wondered why she was asleep on the ground.

 

For a few moments he sat looking at her, then he nestled down next to her and cuddled into her body. ‘Me sleep too,’ he said and closed his eyes tightly. As the horse quietly munched at the grass by the side of the trail the little boy slept contentedly next to his mother who was still unconscious.

 

For a few hours they remained as such, until the sinking sun brought a chilliness that caused the little boy to shiver and wake up. Sleepily he rubbed his eyes and looked around him, grinning at the horse that still stood there beside him. His eyes travelled down to his mother again and he noted that she was still asleep. He shook her insistently. ‘Mama,’ he said. ‘Time to wake up now.’

 

Marie groaned and shifted slightly, opening her eyes to see a small face peering down at her. Little Joe’s thumb was firmly planted in his mouth and he was sucking on it noisily. As she focused her eyes on him he grinned and said. ‘Hello mama, you awake now?’

 

‘Yes baby, mama’s awake now,’ she said shakily. She tried to reach up and touch him with her hand, but the movement cause a sharp pain down her back and she cried out in anguish.

 

Little Joe took his thumb out of his mouth and put his hands on her head. ‘Mama?’ he said again.

 

She tried to smile at him. ‘It’s OK baby, mama’s OK.’ She realised with horror that she was pinned under the buggy and tried to move again to shift it, but found that the pain only increased with every movement she made. She began to cry with the frustration of it all and couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She felt two little hands on her face and opened her eyes again to see the worried look on her little boy’s face as he stared intently into her eyes. ‘It’s OK baby,’ she said trying to convince herself as well as him. ‘It’s going to be OK. Come and give mama a hug.’

 

Little Joe nestled down next to his mother again and put his arms around her neck. After a few moments he lifted his head and looked at her, but her eyes were closed and she had drifted off into unconsciousness again. He sat up and looked around. He felt cold and hungry and didn’t quite know what to do. All he knew was that his mother wasn’t able to help him. He stood up and looked around for someone else to go to, but couldn’t see anyone. ‘I go look,’ he said and toddled off across the field.

 

 

——————–

 

 

Ben hitched his horse at the rail outside The International House and entered the building. ‘Evening Dave,’ he said to the desk clerk as he passed him.

 

The man looked up. ‘If you’re looking for your wife Mr Cartwright, she and the little boy haven’t returned yet,’ he said.

 

‘What?’ said Ben surprised. ‘But it’s dark outside. Marie would never have Little Joe out this late.’

 

The man shrugged. ‘Can’t help you there,’ he said.

 

Ben walked outside again, puzzled. He stood and looked up and down wondering just where he could start to ask first, when he heard a commotion down the other end of the street. Someone yelled as a wagon drew up and several men ran out to meet it. He wondered briefly what could be happening, but decided not to investigate, as finding Marie and Little Joe had to be his first priority right now. He stepped off the porch and started to make his way up to Roy Coffee’s office, hoping that his friend may have seen Marie about and be able to point him in her direction.

 

As he approached the sheriff’s office he heard the shouts from the other end of the street getting louder and turned to see if he could make out what was happening. They seemed to be carrying something or someone into Paul Martin’s office, and he hoped no one had been seriously hurt. Entering the sheriff’s office he greeted his friend. ‘Hello Roy, how are you?’

 

The sheriff looked up from his desk. ‘Ben! Good to see you! I haven’t seen you in here for a few days.’

 

Ben sighed. ‘No. I’ve been …. well rather busy actually,’ he said. ‘Roy I suppose you’ve noticed that Marie and Little Joe have been staying at The International House for the past few days.’

 

Roy looked a bit embarrassed. ‘Yes … well I did kinda notice they’d been around,’ he said.

 

Ben nodded. ‘I wondered if you’d seen her at all this afternoon? I’ve just been over there and she hasn’t come back yet. It’s not like her to keep Little Joe…..’ He stopped as the door was flung open and a man entered the office.

 

‘Sheriff Coffee….’he began. ‘Oh Ben, thank God you’re here! I saw your horse down the street and we’ve been looking everywhere for you!’

 

Ben stared at him. ‘Why Pat? What’s wrong?’

 

The man stopped to catch his breath. ‘It’s Marie, Ben. The Patterson’s found her on the road to the Ponderosa trapped under her buggy. There’d been some kind of accident. They brought her straight into Doc Martin’s office, and she’s up….’ He realised he was talking to the thin air as Ben pushed past him and sprinted up the street towards the doctor’s office. Roy Coffee ran after him.

 

‘Where is she?’ Ben yelled as he pushed through the crowd that had gathered in the doctor’s waiting room. ‘Where’s my wife?’

 

Several hands pushed him down onto a chair. ‘Ben, Paul has everything under control,’ said a kindly voice. ‘He’s looking after her.’

 

Ben looked into the face of Sophia Patterson. ‘What?’ he said, not comprehending.

 

‘She’ll be all right Ben,’ the woman said calmly. ‘Michael and I found her trapped under her buggy, but she wasn’t seriously hurt I’m sure of it. Just some cuts and bruises and a lump on her head.’

 

‘I want to see her!’ he said standing up. ‘I have to know she’s all right!’

 

At that moment the door into the outer office opened and Doctor Paul Martin stuck his head out. ‘I thought I heard your voice,’ he said. ‘Come on in Ben.’

 

Ben rushed through the door and straight over to the examining table where Marie lay. She had several bruises on her face and numerous cuts on her arms and throat. Her eyes were closed, but she seemed to be breathing normally. He looked up at Paul with a question in his eyes, unable to say the words.

 

The Doctor nodded at him and patted him on the shoulder. ‘She’ll be fine Ben, she’s just weak at the moment. It’s the shock that’s all. She must have been out there several hours by the look of her and she hasn’t really fully regained consciousness yet.’

 

‘But she’ll be all right?’ he asked worriedly.

 

‘Yes, I’m sure of it,’ he replied. ‘Maybe a slight concussion that’s all. She’s a very lucky woman.’

 

Ben breathed a sigh of relief and bent down to kiss her on the top of her head. ‘It’s all right now darling,’ he said. ‘I’m here with you.’

 

Marie heard his voice from a distance and her eyes fluttered open. Dimly she saw his face hovering above hers and tried to speak. ‘Ben,’ she said softly. ‘Ben, I’m….’

 

‘Shh,’ he said. ‘Don’t try to talk now. Just lay still and rest.’

 

‘Ben….’ she tried again. ‘Little Joe…..’

 

Ben’s heart constricted. He jerked as he realised that he hadn’t even asked about his little son yet. He looked up at the doctor standing beside him. ‘Where’s Little Joe?’ he asked. ‘Where’s my son?’

 

The man looked down at him, confused for a moment. No one had said anything to him about the child at all. ‘Just a moment,’ he said and rushed to the door. He turned back to Ben in an instant and said. ‘He wasn’t with her. It’s all right Ben, he wasn’t there. She must have left him with someone when she went out in the buggy.’

 

Marie clutched onto her husband’s arm. ‘No…..’ she said weakly. ‘He was…. with me. Ben….. my baby…’

 

Ben stroked her hair and tried to calm her. ‘It’s all right Marie, you rest now. I’ll find him.’ He stood up. ‘Paul,’ he said with a pleading look in his eye.

 

Paul came over to him. ‘Ben she’ll be fine. Really. I’ve given her a sedative and she’ll sleep now, so there’s nothing more you can do here. Just go and find that little boy. Go!’

 

Ben turned without a word and left the room.

 

As he entered the outer office, Roy was immediately at his side. ‘I’ll round up some men Ben. We’ll meet outside my office as soon as you get your horse.’ Ben nodded and left without speaking.

 

Sophia Patterson touched Roy on the arm as he made to go after him. ‘Roy I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t even think about the child. I just assumed that she was by herself.’

 

He smiled at her reassuringly. ‘It’s all right Sophia. You weren’t to know.’

 

‘Yes but he’s so little! He’s just turned three years old! A child that small out there all alone at night? Roy, I hate to think of what could happen to him!’

 

He patted her on the arm and turned to leave the office. Moments later a group of men galloped out of the town, Ben at the head of the group with a lantern in his hand. His heart raced with the sheer terror of what they might find, and he prayed with all his heart that his little boy would be all right when they found him..

 

 

——————

 

 

Simon Bruxton put down his rake and heaved a sigh of relief as he stretched his aching limbs and surveyed the clean barn. It felt good to finish up for the day and know that there was a hearty supper waiting for him inside. He bent to get his jacket when he heard a small noise near the door of the barn and turned quickly to grab his gun. You never could be too careful around here at night, what with all the feral animals just waiting to pick off a chicken or two. He crept forward slowly with his gun poised, then lowered it abruptly when he saw the small child in front of him looking up at him with wide eyes.

 

‘My God!’ he said shocked, ‘Now where did you come from?’

 

The little boy continued to stare at him, sucking on his thumb. Simon bent down and picked him up, noticing he was trembling – although whether it was from fear or the cold he really couldn’t tell. ‘What’s your name little fellow?’ he said, but the child merely looked at him and continued to suck on his thumb noisily. ‘Come on then, let’s get inside and get you warmed up eh?’ He carried him to the house and entered, calling out to his wife. ‘Mary! Come and see what I found outside!’

 

Mary Bruxton looked up from the stove and put her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh my Lord!’ she exclaimed. ‘What on earth have you got there?’ She stared at the child in her husband’s arms. ‘Why that’s the little Cartwright boy isn’t it?’

 

Her husband looked at the little closely. ‘Is it? He’s an awfully long way from home if it is.’

 

‘He’s an awfully long way from anywhere,’ she said, taking the child from his arms and holding him close to her. ‘This child is freezing Simon. Get me a blanket quickly.’

 

Moments later Little Joe was bundled up in front of the fireplace on Mary’s knee, still sucking on his thumb but grinning at them both. ‘I just can’t understand it,’ Mary said. ‘Marie and Ben would never let this child out of their sight. How could he just be wandering around like this?’

 

‘I don’t know,’ said Simon. ‘But there’s something strange here. Have you noticed his hair?’ They both looked at him closely and noted the strange head of hair and the way it all stuck out unevenly at different angles. ‘You don’t think some wild animal got to him do you?’ he said.

 

Mary frowned at him. ‘Don’t be stupid,’ she said. ‘Although it does look rather odd, I must say.’

 

‘Looks more like a group of Indians have half-scalped him,’ Simon continued with a grin.

 

Mary hit him on the arm. ‘That’s not funny!’ she said. ‘We’ve got to get this child home, Simon. Ben and Marie must be out of their minds with worry about him.’

 

Little Joe looked up at her. ‘Mama asleep, ‘he said and waved his arm towards the door. ‘Over there.’

 

She smiled down at him. ‘Yes darling. We’ll take you back to your mama.’

 

He smiled at her. ‘Go for ride now?’

 

She hugged him to her. ‘Simon you’d better saddle up and get this little one back where he belongs before Ben Cartwright has the whole of Nevada out looking for him’ she said. ‘Hurry now.’

 

She bundled the little boy up in her arms and followed her husband back outside to the barn, waiting while he saddled his horse. ‘Don’t you think we should take the buggy?’ he asked. ‘You should come too.’

 

‘No. It would take too long,’ she replied. ‘Just get this child back where he belongs as quickly as possible.’ She handed him up to her husband, who held him on the saddle in front of him.

 

Little Joe bounced around in the man’s arms. ‘Ride! Ride!’ he said delightedly.

 

‘Hang on there young fella,’ said the man. ‘Take it easy.’ He held onto the squirming child tightly. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to come?’ he asked his wife pleadingly. ‘You’d be better with him than me.’

 

She motioned to him impatiently. ‘Surely you can control one little boy,’ she said. ‘Now go!’

 

He gave her one last look, turned the horse and trotted out of the yard. Mary stood there watching him ride into the distance and smiled as she heard a small voice repeating over and over again, ‘Ride! Ride!’

 

———————

 

 

Ben looked anxiously at the buggy that still lay on the ground while he and those around him scoured the ground for any signs of the child or an indication of where he might have gone. Ben’s heart was in his mouth as he looked, wanting so much to find a clue as to his son’s whereabouts, but also dreading what he might find. As the buggy was turned over he hardly dared look at what might be beneath it, and felt the adrenaline leave him as he opened his eyes to see nothing there.

 

‘Thank God,’ he heard one of the men say. ‘He must have wandered off Ben. It’s the only explanation.’

 

Ben nodded. ‘Yes, see if you can find any footprints.’

 

They set their lanterns close to the ground and went over it inch by inch. Suddenly one of the men straightened up. ‘Over here!’ he yelled and they all clustered around. There in front of them was a tiny footprint in the dirt. Ben breathed another sigh of relief.

 

‘It seems to be going in this direction,’ said Roy Coffee. ‘Best if we stay on foot for a while.’ They gathered up their reins and walked slowly forward trying to find any other indications that the little boy had gone in this direction. Their work was hampered by the lack of light, and with only a few dull lanterns to see by were not really making much progress at all.

 

Roy looked at Ben and hesitated for a moment before he spoke. ‘Ben it’s difficult to say which direction he took off in. We’re really guessing.’

 

Ben straightened up and looked back at him. ‘I know,’ he said, rubbing his hand over his eyes. ‘Maybe we should all separate until we come across…’ his words were cut short by a shout from one of the men beside him.

 

‘What’s that?’ he said. They all turned towards the noise of a horse approaching, when out of the darkness rode Simon Briggs.

 

‘What’s going on here’ he asked as he noticed them all on the ground.

 

Ben looked up at him. ‘There’s been an accident,’ he said. ‘We’re looking for ……..Joseph!’ he yelled as he saw the little boy on the saddle in front of the man. ‘Oh my God! Joseph!’

 

Little Joe poked his head out of the blanket he was wrapped in and took his thumb out of his mouth. ‘Hello papa!’ he said. ‘How ya been?’

 

Ben reached up and pulled his son towards him, hugging him tightly. ‘Oh my God!’ he said again. ‘Joseph!’

 

The men around him were silent, each with their own prayers of thanks that the little one had been found. ‘Where was he?’ Roy asked finally.

 

‘He just wandered into my barn,’ explained Simon. ‘We couldn’t understand where he came from.’ His eyes travelled to the upturned buggy as he registered the shocked looks on the faces of the men around him. ‘Was anyone hurt?’

 

‘No thank God,’ said Ben. ‘My wife was driving but she’s all right. Little Joe must have wandered off before they found her.’ He hugged the little boy to him again. ‘Thank God he made it to your place Simon. How can I ever thank you?’

 

‘Don’t mention it Ben,’ replied the man. ‘Glad to help. You’d better get him back to his mama though. She’ll be worried about him.’

 

Ben nodded and turned to those around him. ‘Thank you all so much,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry that…..’ his voice broke and he buried his face onto that of his son’s.

 

Roy patted him on the back. ‘It’s all right Ben. We understand. Let’s get back to town now everyone. I think this little boy needs to see his mama.’

 

Little Joe bounced up in his father’s arms. ‘Mama asleep,’ he said and pointed to the buggy. ‘Over there.’

 

Ben shook his head. ‘No baby. Mama’s asleep back in town now. We’ll go and see her.’

 

‘Ride on horse?’ he asked delightedly.

 

‘Yes,’ said Ben as he swung up into the saddle. ‘Ride on horse.’ He hugged the little boy to him as he turned back towards Virginia City and his wife.

 

 

—————–

 

 

Marie’s eye fluttered open and she stared at the ceiling above her. She turned her head towards the window and noticed the sun streaming in across the room, then frowned as she tried to place exactly where she was. Turning her head the other way, she smiled as her eyes found the two most important possessions she had in this world snuggled together on an easy chair beside the bed.

 

Ben was fast asleep, his chin resting on his hand and his other arm wrapped tightly around Little Joe who was wrapped in a blanket on his knee. The little boy was also fast asleep with his thumb in his mouth. They looked a picture of contentment together, and she couldn’t help but reach out and touch Ben’s leg to make sure that the picture was real.

 

He opened his eyes with a start and smiled as he saw her looking at him. ‘Well, you’re back with us at last,’ he said softly and reached out to grasp hold of her hand. ‘Welcome back.’

 

She smiled back at him, and then her eyes flitted once more to her small son curled on his lap. ‘Is he….’

 

‘He’s fine,’ Ben assured her. ‘Just tired from all his adventures last night.’

 

She lifted her head. ‘The boys…..

 

‘They’re fine too. Roy sent one of the men back to the ranch to tell Hop Sing what had happened. He’s probably chased them off to school by now.’

 

She sighed and stretched under the covers. ‘How do you feel?’ he asked her.

 

‘I’m fine,’ she said.

 

He laughed. ‘You’d say you were fine even if you were half dead,’ he replied with a twinkle in his eye. He leant forward, being careful not to disturb the sleeping child in his arms. ‘Marie, I’m so sorry about everything. You were right. I’ve been selfish and I’ve had my priorities all wrong. I nearly lost you both because of it too. Can you ever forgive me?’

 

‘No my love. It wasn’t you, it was me,’ she replied with tears in her eyes. ‘I should have been more understanding. I know that you’re trying to do the best for us all, that’s why you work so hard. I wasn’t willing to have the patience I needed, that was all. Ben I nearly destroyed our family because of it. I’m the one who needs to ask for forgiveness darling.’

 

He shook his head. ‘I think we’re just two stubborn people. I love you and our sons more than anything in this world Marie, don’t you know that? I’d never let The Ponderosa come between us.’

 

She squeezed his hand. ‘I know. I was very wrong to think that you would. Forgive me?’

 

He bent down and kissed her. ‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ he said.

 

The movement disturbed Little Joe who squirmed in his arms and opened his eyes. ‘Mama awake!’ he said happily. ‘Hello mama. How ya been?’

 

‘I’m fine my darling. How are you?’ she said holding out her hands to him. He chuckled as he leapt across from his father’s lap and hugged her tightly. ‘I’s good mama. I went on a ride on papa’s horse. And the other man too!’

 

Marie looked across at Ben with her eyebrows raised. ‘I’ll explain it all to you later,’ he said. ‘It seems our little boy has had quite an adventure.’

 

She smiled as she hugged the child to her. ‘As long as he’s all right now,’ she said softly. ‘My baby boy. Ben this is what’s important after all, isn’t it?’ she looked up at him, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks. ‘Our three boys. They’re the most important priority we have, aren’t they?’

 

He stroked her head softly. ‘Of course they are,’ he said. ‘And nothing will ever come between any of us darling.’

 

——————-

 

 

The late afternoon sun was struggling to make its presence still felt as Ben drove the buggy into the front yard of the ranch. Marie sat beside him with Little Joe held firmly on her lap, trying desperately to keep him still. His adventure hadn’t seemed to slow him down at all that was for sure. He tried time and time again to grab the reins from his father’s grasp and it was all she could do to keep him from falling off the edge of the buggy.

 

Hoss looked up from doing his chores and ran to them. ‘Ma! Little Joe!’ he called. ‘Ya’re back!’

 

Marie smiled at him and handed his little brother down to him as they pulled up. ‘Yes darling we’re back,’ she said happily.

 

Little Joe flung himself on his brother and they hugged each other tightly. ‘Hi Hoss. How ya been Hoss?’ he said when he could get himself free.

 

Hoss ruffled his uneven locks and laughed at him. ‘Ya sure do look funny little buddy,’ he said.

 

‘I go on horse wiv papa!’ Little Joe said excitedly, and then turned as he saw Adam coming out of the house. ‘Adam!’ he yelled as if they hadn’t laid eyes on each other for a month.

 

Adam smiled at his parents as he came across the yard. ‘Hi!’ he said. ‘Is everyone all right?’

 

‘Right as rain,’ said his father putting his arm around Marie while Hoss hugged her around her waist.

 

Little Joe leapt up into Adam’s arms. ‘I go on horse wiv papa!’ he exclaimed again.

 

‘Did you?’ You’re lucky,’ said his big brother giving him a hug.

 

‘Ride horse now Adam!’ the little boy demanded and Adam laughed as he swung him up onto his shoulders and began to trot around the yard, while Little Joe bounced up and down giggling with glee. Hoss ran over to them and chased them around as they ran.

 

Ben smiled down at Marie as she watched the boys with a deep look of contentment in her eyes. ‘This is what it’s all about isn’t it?’ he whispered. ‘I’ll never lose sight of it again.’

 

She reached up and put her finger on his mouth. ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep,’ she warned with a twinkle in her eye.

 

‘No I mean it!’ he said seriously. ‘This time I…..’

 

‘Ben, as long as you try,’ she said. ‘And don’t forget I’ll be here to remind you my dear!’ She hit him on the arm and they both laughed as they turned towards the house.

 

‘Come on boys,’ Ben said over his shoulder. ‘Come inside for supper now.’

 

As they wandered in through the front door with the three boys behind them, Hop Sing peeked out from the kitchen door where he had been enjoying the scene. He gave a satisfied grin and nodded his head as he closed the door behind him again.

 

The End