Summary:  It’s never easy seeing your youngest taking another step towards manhood.  Inspired by the August/September 2016 Pinecone Challenge.

Rating:  G  (715 words)

Tears of Growing Up Series:

Tears of Growing Up
First Ride
Learning to Trust, One Last Time

Learning to Trust, One Last Time

‘When you love someone, you’ve gotta trust them.  There’s no other way.  You’ve got to give them the key to everything that’s yours.  Otherwise, what’s the point?’ Sitting by the crackling fire, a glass of brandy in his hand, Ben looked up, envisioning the banter occurring in one of the bedrooms on the second floor.  ‘I trust each one of them to try their best to keep their brothers safe, when I can’t.  I have to allow them,’ pausing, he reflected.  ‘I have to allow Little Joe to grow up, to become a man.’

*****

Relaxing back into the leather chair, remembering earlier in the day, the two oldest had made their way to where the two youngest stood next to the chuck wagon.  They watched as the larger man restrained the boy after being propelled forward by the force of Hoss’ good-hearted slap on the back; large smiles beamed across their faces.

As father and brother joined them, one of the excited smiles disappeared.  Green eyes apologetically plead as an age-worn hand settled on his shoulder.  “Were you scared, Pa?”

“Petrified.”  The hand gently squeezed, to confirm sure his son was really before him, and uninjured.

“I’m… I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know you didn’t, son.”

“But, you still want me as your little boy.”  Head bowed with regret.

Cradling and lifting the chin of his sixteen year old son so he could look into the boy’s eyes.  “Joseph, I’ll always want you as my little boy, just the same as Adam, and Hoss.”

“But I want to be a man, like they are.  I want to help…  I can do it.” Eyes shimmered as tears pooled in his eyes.

“Shhh…  I’m proud of you.  What you’ve done this past month, this last week.  You showed me that you’re truly ready for me to consider you well on your way to being a man.  You listened to your brothers and to the men who, all with more experience than you.  And, you kept your temper in check when they deliberately tried to push you to lose control.”

The young man looked to his brothers, his eyes focusing on Adam the longest.

Nodding, Adam acknowledged, “You did it Joe.  You earned the respect of the men. Today was just the icing on the cake, so to speak.”

“Thanks, Adam.”  Pride swelled in the youngest Cartwright’s heart.

“But respect and trust are two different things, Joseph.”  Ben wrapped an arm around his son and led him to a copse of trees, away from the action in the corrals.

“I don’t understand.”

“Respect is feeling or showing deferential regard for someone; to admire them.”

“And trust?”

“Is to believe that they’ll do the right thing, even when it’s the hardest thing you could ever do.”  Ben sat and patted the fallen tree, encouraging the boy to sit down.

“So you trusted Adam to let me break that horse today?”

“Yes son, I trusted Adam to choose the best horse to give you the best chance for success and pose the least risk in hurting you.”

Joe expressed his confusion, “But Adam let me choose the horse.”

“That’s where your brother, and I, trusted you to choose using the same criteria.”

Shifting on the log, “Then why’d you hide by the equipment shed?”

Smiling at being caught out, “I hid because I didn’t trust myself.  I thought if I were any closer that I’d pull you off that horse.  Regardless how old my sons are, I always want to protect them.”

Grinning, “That’s what Hoss said earlier.”

“Do you understand what I’m trying to explain?”

“Yes, sir. I do.”

“You’ve taken another step towards being a man today.  But you’re not quite all the way there, yet.”  Ben smiled as Joe quickly inhaled. “I know what you’re going to say, I only ask that you continue to listen to your brothers and the men, and do as they instruct.”  Seeing green eyes sparkle with the zest of life, a fisted hand mock punched his son’s chin.  “Don’t get cocky.”

“I won’t, Pa.”

“Get on back there with the hands.  I’m sure a few more of them want to congratulate you on your ride.”

Jumping up, Joe ran towards the chuck wagon only to stop half way there, “Pa, I trust you, too.  With everything I’ve got!”

~The End

Tags: Ben Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright, JPM