Summary:  A continuation of Adam and Becky.

Rating:  T   (14,400 words)

Memories of Love Series:

Memories of Love
The Future of Love
Love’s Rewards
A Time to Heal
The Unlooked for Saviour
To Rage in Heaven

 

Memories of Love #3 – Love’s Rewards 

Chapter One

Friday the twenty fourth of September dawned bright and clear. There was a slight chill in the morning air, a promise of the winter to come.

Adam Cartwright and his fiancé, Rebecca Anderson, had ridden out into the mountains surrounding Lake Tahoe. They had promised themselves a few hours away from the preparations for their wedding the next day, and his family was glad to get rid of them. Neither of them could settle to an assigned task, their thoughts straying to each other all the time. They rode side by side, he dressed all in black as was his custom, she in a cream shirt and black trousers, a costume she had adopted as being the most practical for the life of a woman with a small ranch to run.

They stopped and dismounted on a bluff overlooking the lake, which lay stretched below them, its blue waters sparkling in the late morning sunlight. A light breeze rippled the lake and caught at Becky’s dark hair, blowing it away from her face. Adam looked at her, thinking that he couldn’t wait for tomorrow, when she would become his wife, when he would commit himself to this woman for the rest of his life. The thought held no fear for him, he knew it was what he wanted to do, and had wanted almost from the first moment he saw her.

Becky became aware of him staring at her, and looked at him.

“What are you thinking?” She asked.

“Oh, I was just wondering how we were going to fill the long, dark nights ahead.” He said with a knowing smile on his face.

“I expect you will spend all your time reading, or playing your guitar. But I will find you plenty to do around the house, you won’t be bored I can assure you.” She teased.

“I had thought of more exciting things we could do.” He replied, taking her in his arms.

“Oh Adam, I can’t wait for tomorrow, I wish it was all over and we were at home together.”

“Now then, you wouldn’t deprive my father of seeing his eldest son get married, would you? You know how he has been looking forward to this, he’s more excited about it than we are.” Adam laughed, thinking of how his father had worried about every small aspect of the wedding. Fortunately they had Hop Sing, the Cartwright’s cook and housekeeper, on hand and he and Becky had between them planned and arranged the whole affair.

They tied their horses to a tree and walked in the sunshine through the forest, the scent from the pine trees heavy in the air.

“Adam I love this country. I thank God every day for leading me here. And when I remember how I cursed those horses when they bolted with the wagon.” She stopped and shook her head.

A little over two months before, Becky’s wagon had run off the trail and rolled down a bank. Adam had rescued her from the wreckage, and they had fallen instantly in love. They had been almost inseparable since then, except for a short time, when Becky’s sister had tried to drive them apart. But then Adam’s brothers had brought them back together, and they had sworn to each other that no one would ever come between them again.

They came to a small clearing and Adam sat down on the long grass, pulling Becky down to sit beside him. He lay back and Becky settled into the crook of his arm, lying on her side and putting her arm across his chest. Adam rolled over to put his arm round her, and as Becky ran her fingers through his dark hair and felt the still healing scar beneath, she remembered how she had nearly lost him, when he had been attacked by a cougar, and she had struggled to bring him out of the coma that had resulted.

“Oh Adam, why do we have to wait until tomorrow?” Asked Becky breathlessly.

“Because when I lay with you I want it to be with no sense of guilt.” He laughed as a vision raised itself in his mind. “I don’t want to think of my father standing behind me with that disapproving look on his face.” Adam shivered involuntarily, remembering the look, and the lectures it had presaged when he was younger.

“You care what your father thinks of you, don’t you?” Becky had seen how close Adam was to his family, and knew this was another example of it.

“Yes I do. That man has raised three children to manhood virtually single-handed. I have enormous respect for him, and would never want to do anything to hurt him. He has taught us right from wrong, and I would never intentionally do anything that would give him cause to be disappointed in me.”

“You’re very lucky to have such a wonderful family.” Becky’s voice caught in her throat, as she thought of her sister, her only living relative, and what she had done to them both.

“Becky, forget her, you have a new family now. You know that my father and brothers love you and want you to feel part of our family. Let them take Andrea’s place in your heart.”

“Oh Adam, I will. Thank you for understanding. I don’t know what I have done to deserve you, but I am thankful every day that I met you.” She eased herself up and kissed him, and he responded, holding her tightly to him. He felt passion burning in his blood, and gently pushed her away, before he could give in to his feelings.

“I think that we had better be getting back.” He said, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He stood and lifted Becky to her feet, and they walked back to the horses.

When they arrived back at the Ponderosa, Hoss and Joe, Adam’s brothers, had just finished decorating the living room. They were finishing by tying gold and silver ribbons across the large fireplace, and as Adam saw them he came to a standstill, staring at them.

“Adam?” Asked Becky, “What’s the matter?”

“Absolutely nothing.” He said, smiling to himself. He had suddenly remembered the dream he had had when he was asleep on the porch at Becky’s home, sitting beside her sister Andrea, just before he kissed her. Adam had forgotten the dream instantly, the shock of realising he was kissing Andrea, and seeing Becky standing before them, had driven it from his mind, but seeing the ribbons recalled it. In his dream he had seen Becky standing surrounded by a gold light, and himself by a silver one. “Who chose the ribbons?” Adam wanted to know.

“It was Hop Sing.” Said Joe. “I asked him about the colours, but he just said that you would want them, that you’d understand. Do you know what he meant?”

“Oh yes, and he’s quite right.” He leant over to Becky, seeing the question in her eyes. “I’ll tell you about it sometime.” How had the man known what the colours would mean? Adam shook his head, Hop Sing often knew things that he should not know.

Adam went into the kitchen to search out Hop Sing, to thank him.

“Well, what do you think?” Asked Joe, his smile lighting his handsome face as he indicated the decorations. Becky looked round the room, there were beautiful flowers everywhere, and their scent filled the air with a freshness that reminded Becky of the smell of her Georgia birthplace. There the pervading scent was of flowers, not of pine trees as it was here.

“It’s beautiful, thank you both.” She said going over to Hoss, and standing on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek.

”Aw shucks, it’s a pleasure to do it for you.” He said, colouring. Despite his large size and great strength, he was always embarrassed at any show of affection from a woman.

Joe came over to join them and Becky kissed him as well. Joe did not share his brother’s embarrassment, and gave her a light kiss back.

Adam rejoined them and asked what else there was to do.

“Well, not much, I think we’ve just about finished.” Said Joe, looking round to check.

“Well then I think it’s time for a small celebration drink.” Said their father as he came down the stairs. He poured one for each of them, and they sat round the fire, enveloping Becky in their affection.

Ben stood up and faced them.

“While we have a few minutes together, I would like to say something.” They all gave him their attention, waiting. “Becky, tomorrow you will officially join this family, and I want to welcome you with all my heart. I know the love you and Adam feel for each other, and I know that you will be very happy together. I would like to thank you for being the generous and caring person you are. When Adam was injured your love brought him back to us, and I will be eternally grateful to you for that. All any parent can ask is that their child is content, and I have seen how Adam has become more settled since he met you.” Then he turned to his eldest son. “Adam, I want to thank you for being the person you are. All your life you have given yourself to this family, working to build what we have here, and caring for your brothers. Tomorrow you will take on a new responsibility, and I know that you will give all you have to make Becky happy, and to build a new life for you both. But I want you to know that wherever you are this will always be your home, and the door is always open. Hoss, Joe, a toast. Becky and Adam, may you have a long and peaceful life together.”

Hoss and Joe stood and faced them and they all raised their glasses to drink in salute.

Adam stood and embraced his father, and for a moment couldn’t speak as emotion threatened to overwhelm him. He took a deep breath to regain control of himself.

“Pa, thank you. Thank you for what you have said, but more than that, thank you for being the best father that any child could want. You have raised me to be the person that you thank me for being. You have devoted your life to us, given us the love and security needed to let us grow and mature, and to be our own selves. If I can be half the man that you are then I will be content.” Adam turned to his brothers. “Hoss, Joe I want to thank you as well. You are the kindest, most generous brothers. You have always been there when I needed you, supporting and helping me.” Adam turned to Becky and smiled at her, then back to his brothers, remembering how they had faced her after Andrea had plotted to break them up. “You faced a very angry woman to bring us back together, and all because you could see how I was hurting. Your love for me overwhelms me, and I cannot express my gratitude to you. Except to say that I owe you my happiness, and every day that I spend with Becky will be a testament to you.” He turned to Becky, and took her hand and pulled her to her feet so she stood beside him. “Becky, a toast. To the finest family a man could ever know.” They raised their glasses, and there was more than one pair of eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Chapter Two

Adam stood in front of the minister, with Hoss and Joe beside him, waiting for Becky to appear, the guests behind them, assembled and expectant. Adam had turned to say something to Joe when he heard a collective sigh go round the room. He turned back and saw a vision standing on the stairs, holding his father’s arm.

Becky was dressed in a long sleeved, cream gown, tight to her trim hips, then flowing in waves to her feet. Her shoulders were bare and she wore a simple single string of pearls at her neck, and matching earrings. Her dark hair hung in curls down her back, and they bounced as she moved. Her face had little make-up, just enough to emphasise the shape of her eyes and the fullness of her mouth.

Adam held his breath when he saw her, and the lump in his throat threatened to strangle him, she had never looked lovelier. He could not take his eyes off her as she came towards him, and she smiled as she approached, melting his heart.

Becky and Adam exchanged their vows and wedding rings, but all the time he was only thinking of her, and how he didn’t deserve to be this fortunate. Then the short ceremony was over, and Ben was congratulating them, shaking Adam’s hand, and kissing Becky.

“Excuse me, I think that this is my prerogative.” Said Adam, and he took Becky in his arms and held her, forgetting everyone else in the room as he lost himself in her kiss.

“Excuse me, brother, but are you going to be all day?” Said Joe, tapping his brother on the shoulder, and Adam straightened smiling.

“Be my guest, it’ll be your last chance.” Warned Adam, and Joe kissed her.

“Congratulations.” He said.

Hoss took Joe’s place and gave Becky a peck on the cheek. He couldn’t look her in the eye as he said, “Ma’am, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you Hoss.”

Then there was a seemingly endless stream of people, all anxious to congratulate the couple.

The Ponderosa that day was home to singing and dancing, and more gaiety than it had known in a long time, until finally it was time for Adam and Becky to leave.

As they stood outside saying their goodbyes, Ben approached his son. Taking his arm, Ben drew him off to one side and handed him an envelope. Adam raised his eyebrows in question and tore it open. When he saw what it contained he looked at his father, speechless.

“My wedding present to you both.” Explained Ben.

“But Pa, you can’t. What about Hoss and Joe?” Asked Adam. The envelope contained the deeds to one third of the Ponderosa.

“They will get their share, don’t worry. What we have here is in no small measure due to you, you are only getting what you deserve. Now get going, before I change my mind.” Adam stood for a moment then put his arms round his father and embraced him.

“Thank you.” Adam went back to Becky and helped her up into the buggy. They drove away, leaving with good wishes ringing in their ears. They drove to what had been Becky’s house before she sold it to Adam for the princely sum of one dollar.

Becky had insisted that he should have it, so that he would not feel that he was living in ‘her’ house, but in his own. She had kept title to the land surrounding the house. She had come to Nevada with the intention of running a ranch and Adam would not let her give him the entire property, insisting that she should keep it and fulfil her ambition.

Jeb and Andy, Becky’s hands, had been given two weeks off and when they had worried about the stock, Adam had told them that he would do anything that was needed for that time. Adam had planned a honeymoon in San Francisco, but when she found out, Becky had told him that she wanted to stay right here, where they had already spent so much time together. She only wanted to be alone with him, it did not matter where, so he had told his father where they would be, and warned his brothers that he was not expecting visitors, and his father had promised that he would keep everyone away from them.

They went into the house and stood together, not quite sure what to do now they were there, alone, as husband and wife. Adam solved the problem by taking Becky in his arms and kissing her. She melted into his arms and time stood still as they held on to each other as though their very lives depended on it.

Then they parted, breathless, and Adam just held her at arms length looking at her. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, and he wanted to imprint the image of this moment on his mind forever.

Becky eased herself out of his grip, and went towards the kitchen.

“I’m going to make you some coffee and something to eat.” She said over her shoulder, and when he raised his brows in question, she explained mischievously, “If I read my Cartwright correctly, you are not going to leave that bedroom for several days, and I don’t want you fading away for lack of nourishment.” Adam laughed and agreed.

He went back to the door and gazed out at the land before him, thinking of his father’s gift. It weighed heavy on his mind, he knew that he couldn’t accept it, but would his father take it back? Suddenly he heard Becky cry out, and thoughts of his father were banished from his mind as he ran to the kitchen.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” He asked as he entered, then he saw what had caused the exclamation. On the table a meal was laid out, cold meats and salads, bread and fruit. There was a note standing beside one of the plates written in Chinese, with a translation beneath.

“May the blessings of your ancestors be upon you, may their spirits watch over you and keep you from harm.”

“Hop Sing!” Said Adam. “When did he have the time to do this?” Adam wondered, shaking his head in amazement.

“Well, we’d better not let it go to waste.” Said Becky and sat down. Adam sat opposite her, and as they started to eat, they both realised how hungry they were. But five minutes later, they had both lost their appetites as they gazed at one another. Adam rose, and taking Becky’s hand, led her towards the bedroom.

They stood at the side of the bed, uncertain, until Adam lifted her and laid her down on the white coverlet. He lay down beside her and put his arm under her shoulders, pulling her towards him. He ran his fingers down her neck making her tremble, then she reciprocated, undoing the buttons of his shirt, and his stomach muscles tensed as she touched him. He would have taken her there and then, but there was no hurry, they had all the time in the world.

She rose from the bed and started to undress, and his passion burned brighter with every lace she loosed and every hook she unfastened, until he could stand it no longer. He rose to help her, and as he did so, she helped him to undress, until they were finally together, alone and free to express the love they had for each other.

Their passion filled the night, until the morning found them asleep in each other’s arms. Adam stirred and he looked down at the woman beside him, enjoying just watching her sleep, her eyelashes lying dark against her fair cheeks, the sheets rising and falling as she breathed. He brushed her lips with his, and she opened her eyes. She smiled as she saw him leaning over her and she reached out for him, pulling him towards her, and they found their desire undiminished in the daylight.
Chapter Three

That evening they sat together on the porch, watching the sunset.

“Becky, before we left yesterday, my father gave me something.” Said Adam.

“What was it?” She asked quietly. She was half asleep, the peace of the moment making her eyelids heavy.

“He gave me one third of the Ponderosa.”

“He did what!” She exclaimed sitting up, suddenly awake and not sure that she had understood.

“Yes. One third. I can’t accept it. I won’t break up the ranch. Joe and Hoss are still there, it all belongs to them as well. I’m going to give it back to Pa.” Adam shook his head, he knew he couldn’t keep it.

“Adam, I agree with you, but just think for a moment. How will your father feel if you reject his present? He would not have done it if he didn’t think it was the right thing to do.”

“No, I know. But what else can I do?” Adam asked helplessly.

Becky leant back against him, deep in thought at the enormity of what Ben had done, and Adam’s reaction to it. Suddenly she sat up.

“I know, why don’t you tell your father that you want your share to be ranched along with the rest? You can keep the title, but in every other way it will still be part of the Ponderosa. Anything that is on that land, the trees, the grazing, everything, will be treated as though it was still his. And any profit that may be made using your land would be put with all the other profits from the rest of the ranch. In every way it would be as though nothing had changed.” She was looking at him excitedly, she had found a solution.

Adam was nodding. It would work, if his father would agree.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Its yours now as well, you’d be giving up a lot.”

“I’d be giving up nothing. I have you and I have my land, what more could I want?” She assured him.

“My darling I love you, more than you’ll ever know.” Adam leant towards her and kissed her to emphasise the point.

Becky rose and took his hand. “Would you like to show me how much you love me?” She said, and led him unresisting into the house.

Late the following morning, Ben heard horses come into the yard. He couldn’t imagine who it could be, and went to the door. He was amazed to see Adam and Becky walking towards the house.

“It’s all right, Pa. We haven’t got so bored that we need company, but I do need to speak to you.” Said Adam as he patted his father on the back to reassure him. They went into the house and Adam asked his father to sit down. Adam and Becky sat opposite him, on the sofa.

“Pa, it’s about your gift. I can’t take it.” Adam was looking at his father uncertain how he would react.

“But son, I want you to have it. It’s yours by right.” Ben insisted.

“No it isn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Joe and Hoss to break up the ranch. It would diminish their share to lose so much. This ranch operates as it does because of what we have, not in small sections, but as a whole. It needs all of it to carry on. It would be like cutting off someone’s arm. A man would still be able to walk and talk, but there would be a lot he couldn’t do. Well it’s the same with the Ponderosa.”

Adam paused, but his father didn’t speak, considering what Adam had said.

“Pa, I am not going to insult you by trying to give it back to you, but I want the Ponderosa to keep my share. To use it for the benefit of the whole ranch.”

“But son, it’s yours. It’s the section nearest to Becky’s property, I want you to add it to hers. It will make a fine ranch for you, for your future.”

“No, it won’t. If you will not use it then it will stand idle.” This was becoming more difficult than Adam had imagined. He was going to have to blackmail his father into accepting his offer. “Pa, I won’t be able to come and help you here if you let me take it, I’ll be too busy. Then who would do your books for you? This way I can work here, so in a way I would be using the land.”

Ben sat silent, how could he make Adam see that he had done this for him and his future.

“Are Hoss and Joe coming back for lunch?” Adam asked.

“Yes, probably.” Said Ben.

“Then why don’t we ask them what they think?”

Ben turned to Becky. “What is you opinion, Becky?”

“It was my idea, to give you back the use of the land.” She assured him.

Ben sat silent, trying to think of an argument that would make Adam accept his gift. Adam and Becky looked at each other, they were both determined that Ben should agree to what they proposed.

Adam couldn’t stand his father’s silence any longer and said that he was going to make some coffee. While he was in the kitchen Hoss and Joe came into the house. They both stopped as they entered, surprised to see Becky sitting on the sofa.

“Becky?” Said Joe, hesitating to think why she should be here, apparently alone.

“Ma’am, are you all right?” Asked Hoss, equally worried by her being there.

Becky stood and smiled at them to reassure them.

“Yes, I’m fine. We just came over to talk to your father.” She said sitting down again. Adam had heard their arrival and returned, holding a tray with coffee and cups, which he placed on the low table, in front of Becky. She poured each of them a cup, and then sat back, waiting.

“Hoss, Joe, would you sit down please. I have something I need to discuss with you.” Said Adam seriously.

Joe was about to make a joke of their appearance there, but stopped when he saw Adam’s serious demeanour.

“What is it, what’s wrong?” Joe asked, taking the offered cup from Becky, and sitting on the sofa next to her. Hoss sat in the armchair opposite his father, not speaking. He couldn’t imagine why Becky and Adam were there.

“I need your help.” Adam started, and again Joe was tempted to reply with some quip, but kept silent.

“Pa has given us a wedding present which we cannot accept. But I can’t persuade him to take it back.” Adam glanced at his father, and then continued. “He has given me part of the Ponderosa. A rather large part.”

Joe and Hoss looked at each other, not sure what to say. Then Joe spoke.

“Well that’s great, what’s the problem?”

“The problem is it’s too much. It will diminish the rest of the ranch, and I can’t do that, I won’t do it. I’ve already tried to explain to Pa what he knows very well, that this ranch needs all it’s resources to operate as it does. I want you to keep my section, along with the rest, to work it and use it, as though it was still part of the Ponderosa. What do you say?”

“If you’re sure that’s what you want, then I can’t see a problem with it.” Said Joe. He understood Adam’s reasoning and agreed with it. He could see that Adam was concerned for his family, and would not go against his elder brother’s wishes.

“There you are Pa, Joe agrees with me.” Said Adam smugly, but was silenced as Hoss spoke.

“Adam,” said Hoss, “If’n Pa gave it to you don’t you think that you should keep it?” Hoss would never deprive anyone of something that was theirs, and he could understand why their father had given Adam the land. Hoss’s generous nature would allow that Adam deserved his present, no matter the effect on the rest of the ranch.

Ben saw that he had some support and pressed home what he saw as an advantage. “Adam, don’t you think that I thought about it long and hard, before I signed that land over to you. You’ve earned the right to it, I’m not giving you anything that you don’t deserve.”

“Pa, I worked all these years to build what we have here, not because I thought it would be mine, but for all of us. Joe and Hoss have worked too, not with any thought of what they might get out of it, but for what it could become, for all of us. You can’t take a piece of it and say, ‘That’s yours’. It belongs to all of us, all of it. I just want to keep it together, please don’t let me be the one to break it up.” He pleaded with his father, trying to make him understand.

Ben studied his son, and could see how determined he was. Adam was obviously sincere in his desire to keep the ranch intact, and Ben wondered if he had the right to force Adam to do something that he would see as destroying their home.

“Very well, if you’re sure that’s what you want.” Ben agreed reluctantly. Then added, “But I insist that you let me pay you for the use of the land. And I will stand no argument on that.” He looked forcefully at Adam, who could see that he had to agree. His father had given way on using the land, he could do no less at this offer.

“That seems fair.” Said Adam, taking the wind out of Ben’s sails. He had been prepared for an argument.

“Then it’s settled.” Ben said taking Adam’s hand to seal the deal.

“Thank you Pa.” Adam smiled at his father, relieved at the outcome. He felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he held Becky’s hand. He couldn’t wait to get back home, to be alone with her again.

“Now you’re here will you stay and have some lunch with us?” Invited Ben. Adam and Becky looked at each other, knowing that they were both thinking the same thing. They wanted to go home. But Adam also knew that his father might be upset if they left, and he leant close to Becky and whispered in her ear.

“We needn’t be long, do you mind?” Becky shook her head. “We’d love to Pa, thank you.” Adam out aloud.

When the meal was over, Ben could see that the couple were eager to get away. He rose from the table and pulled Becky’s chair out for her as she started to stand.

“Now, get out of here you two, and I don’t want to see either of you for at least a week.” Ben commanded.

As they stood beside their horses preparing to leave, Adam spoke to his father.

“Thank you, Pa. Thank you for understanding.”

“Go home, before I change my mind.”

Adam and Becky mounted, and Ben watched them leave, thinking how proud he was of his eldest son. He knew that while he might not show it often, Adam felt a deep attachment to his family, and his home.

Chapter Four

It was early November, and Adam had finally got his way, and had taken Becky to San Francisco. He had to make the trip to arrange for the shipping of some lumber, and suggested that Becky accompany him. Apart from wanting to show her the city, he did not want to be parted from her, so they made the journey together.

They stayed a week, and enjoyed the time that Adam had free, going to concerts and galleries, and enjoying the fine food that the metropolis had to offer.

The morning they were due to leave Adam escorted Becky down to breakfast, but as she sat opposite him he could see that she did not look well. As the waiter brought their meal, Becky looked at the plate and excused herself. Adam watched her go, and found that he couldn’t eat his meal for worrying about her. He rose and went up to their room, where he found her washing her face.

“Are you all right?” He asked concerned, taking her shoulder and turning her to face him.

“Yes, I’m fine. I guess it’s all this rich food you’ve been forcing on me.” She smiled at him to reassure him that she was recovered.

“We don’t have to leave today if you’re not feeling well. We can go in a day or two.” He suggested.

“No, really I’m all right.”

“Well if you’re sure, but you must promise me that you will tell me if you are unwell. We can break the journey if we need to.” He said, concerned.

She hoped that she was right in her diagnosis of her condition, but she would not say anything to Adam until she was sure.

They made it safely home to what was fast becoming known as ‘young Cartwright’s place’. This made Adam laugh inwardly whenever he heard it; he was nearly forty and had never thought again to hear himself referred to as ‘young Cartwright’.

Becky tried to hide from him her bouts of sickness, not wanting to worry him, but Adam had noticed, though he didn’t say anything to her. At first he had shown concern, but Becky assured him that it must have been something she was eating that didn’t agree with her. Then one day when he confronted her about it, she had become quite angry and told him in no uncertain terms that she was quite well, and would he please stop fussing.

Adam had not broached the subject again, seeing how upset she became when he pressed her, but occasionally he caught her looking into space her face a mask that revealed nothing to him, but had him worried.

The weather had become cold and dull, and the short days and long nights were wearing on him as they always did. At first, when winter came, he enjoyed the long evenings, but as the novelty wore off, he became like a caged tiger, prowling the house, until even his books could not keep him content.

He was worried, Becky was not herself, and she would not tell him why. Added to that was the fact that they had not been intimate together for many days. Whenever Adam reached for her, she would shy away, leaving him feeling tense, and afraid that he was losing her. It was tearing at his nerves and he became irritable as the worry ate at him.

Then on Christmas eve, as they prepared to go to the Ponderosa to spend a few days with Ben and the boys, Adam decided to have it out with Becky. He couldn’t go to his father and pretend that there was nothing wrong, he knew Ben would see right through him.

Becky was in the bedroom, packing when he approached her. He knew his temper was short and he took a few deep breaths to calm himself before he spoke.

“Becky is something wrong?” He asked simply.

“No, nothing. Why do you ask?” She said not looking at him.

He decided that a demonstration would prove her wrong, and he went over to the bed, where she was closing the valise, and put his arms round her. She turned away, as though too busy for such intimacy at that moment.

“That’s why I ask. You haven’t been easy at my touch for days.” He said sadly, shaking his head in despair.

She looked at him, seeing the hurt in his face and she realised what she had been doing to him.

“What is it, Becky, is something wrong? Have I done something to upset you? If I have I’m sorry, but you must tell me what it is.” He asked, fighting back tears at the thought that she no longer loved him.

“No, nothing’s wrong.” She hesitated, she had to tell him, had to get it over with. It was hurting him too much not to tell him. She went to him and took his hand and sat on the bed, pulling him down to sit beside her. “Adam, I have something to tell you, before we see your family.”

Adam raised his eyebrows in question. “What is it? Please tell me what’s bothering you.” He pleaded; his heart was pounding, afraid to hear words that would separate them. If she didn’t want to be with him he had to find out, but he dreaded hearing her say it. She seemed so nervous, he thought as he watched her hands fiddling with the material of her dress.

“Adam, you know that I have been unwell.” At the stricken look on his face she quickly continued. “Please, don’t fret, I’m fine now.” He was about to say something, but she put her fingers to his lips to stop him.

“Adam, you know that I love you and would never do anything to hurt you.” She paused, not able to look at him. He couldn’t imagine what was coming, but he had heard the words he desperately wanted to hear.

“I know.” He said, whatever she had done didn’t matter as long as she loved him.

“Adam I’m pregnant.”

Adam suddenly found that he couldn’t breathe. He tried to, but he seemed to have lost all control of his body. His heart raced, and he finally managed to take a deep breath. It was too much to take in, in so short a time. She still loved him, and was giving him this precious gift as well.

“Are you sure?” He whispered, then said nothing. He looked at her, unable to speak, as his heart swelled with love and pride, and it threatened to choke him. A child, his child, was coming to life in her. The one thing that would make his life complete was going to be theirs.

“Yes.” Becky looked at him uncertainly. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but shocked silence wasn’t it.

“Do you mind?” She asked searching his face.

“Mind, MIND!” He shouted. Then softer, “I think it’s the most wonderful thing in the world.“ He took her hand. “Becky, when we married I thought that you had made me the happiest man alive. Now I realise that it was just the beginning. What I feel now exceeds that by a hundred fold. Becky I love you.” He took her face in his hands and gazing deep into her eyes, he kissed her softly. Then he put his arms round her and hugged her tightly to him, and she did not pull away from him, but put her arms round him. The knot in his stomach that he had not realised was there, slowly untied itself.

“Just wait till I tell Pa. He’ll spoil you so much you’ll want to be pregnant all the time.” He laughed imagining his father’s reaction. “When?” He asked.

“Early July.” She relaxed into Adam’s arms. He was happy, that was all that mattered.

“Is that why you were sick?” He wanted to know, hoping there was nothing more serious.

“Yes. It’s quite common you know.” She said softly, her nervousness still with her, despite his reaction.

“I had forgotten. I think Marie, Joe’s mother, was the same, only I don’t remember much about it. I guess that at the time I didn’t really notice.”

“Well that’s passed and I’m fine now, better than ever now you know about it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before? I was worried about you, you know.”

Adam moved to lie on the bed, his back resting against the headboard. He pulled Becky up to sit beside him and put his arm protectively round her shoulders.

“I wasn’t sure that you would be happy about the baby.”

“Why ever not? I think it’s the most perfect thing that could happen.” Adam was concerned that she did not know him well enough by now to realise what his reaction would be.

Becky turned away from him, not wanting him to see the look in her eyes. She knew she had not been fair to him, not telling him, letting him worry about her bouts of sickness.

“Becky, what is it, what’s wrong?” He held her chin and turned her face towards him. “Tell me.”

“Oh Adam, I’m sorry. I should have realised. I’m sorry, please forgive me.” A tear fell from the side of one eye, and Adam put up his thumb to wipe it away.

“Becky, tell me, why are you so upset? I don’t understand.”

“Robert…never wanted children. I suppose I got so used to not having any, that when I found I was pregnant…I panicked.” Becky said, nervous at admitting the reason to Adam. Adam just hugged her to him, partly to reassure her and partly from pure love. He hated to see his wife so upset, and would do anything to make her happy again. He held her away from him and looked at her, his eyes soft and reassuring.

“Becky, I am not Robert. I know that you loved him and wanted to please him, but that is in the past. You must believe me when I tell you that nothing you do will ever stop me loving you.” He searched her face to make sure that she understood what he was saying.

“Thank you, Adam. I do believe you, and I love you all the more for saying it.” She put her head on his chest and let her tears flow more freely. She was so relieved that she had told him, that he had welcomed the news, and that he had not been cross at her reasons for not telling him.

When Adam felt the wetness of her tears soak onto his shirt, he lifted her head and smiled at her.

“No more need for tears.” He said gently.

Adam decided a slight change of subject would brighten her face. “I will have to start thinking about making this house bigger. We’ll need a nursery and perhaps a playroom. Oh Becky, thank you.” He kissed her again, and eased down the bed, until they were both lying with their heads on the pillows.

“I think we might be a little late getting to Pa’s.” Said Adam, as he put his arms round her and kissed her, long and deep.

Chapter Five

They arrived at the Ponderosa late in the afternoon, to be greeted by Ben, who had come out of the house at the sound of the trap driving into the yard. He helped Becky down, and then put his arm on Adam’s shoulder.

“Come in. Hop Sing has made some mulled wine, it’ll warm you up.”

They went inside, and Adam took their cases up to his old room, which he would share with Becky for the next few days. He stood for a moment, thinking how his life had changed since he had last slept here, a wife, and now a child on the way. He remembered how he had felt when he had left nearly fours years earlier, to fulfil his desire to travel. Then he had thought that the world would show him all its wonders, and he went eagerly. He had returned just six months ago, knowing that there was nowhere he wanted to be, but here with his family. His family. That phrase had suddenly taken on new meaning today, and at the thought of it, he sat on the bed and put his face in his hands, and wept with happiness. He had been afraid that he was losing Becky, and all the time she had this wonderful secret inside her. Was this what it meant to have a family, to be a father?

He wondered how his own father had done it all these years, going from the depths of despair to the heights of elation, and all the time keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground.

Ben came quietly into the room. He had been wondering where his son had got to, and as he entered he saw a sight he had not seen in a long time, Adam sitting, crying like a child. He went to the bad and sat down, putting an arm across his son’s shoulders.

“Adam, what is it?” Ben asked softly, moving his arm to rub his hand up and down Adam’s back, trying to comfort him.

“Pa, it’s all right. I was just thinking.” Said Adam, wiping his eyes and looking sheepishly at his father.

“You don’t seem too happy about your thoughts.” Observed Ben.

“Quite the opposite. I’m as happy as any man is ever likely to be. It was just that being here again made me realise something. I left here looking for what was missing from my life, and I didn’t find it until I came back.”

“Becky?” Ben asked, guessing the reason for his son’s reflective mood.

“Yes.”

“Son, she’s a wonderful woman, and she has a wonderful husband.” Adam turned to look at his father.

“Thank you Pa.”

“Let’s go down and join her.” Ben stood and Adam hesitated, wanting to tell his father what had made him so happy, but he knew that Becky wanted the whole family together when they announced it, so he rose silently, and went back downstairs with his father.

After supper, they were all sitting in contemplative mood round the huge fireplace. Soon it would be Christmas Day, and they were looking forward to celebrating together.

Ben stood and went to the bookcase beside his desk. He reached down the family Bible and returned to his seat. The boys watched him expectantly, this was a ritual that they had enjoyed for as long as they could remember. Adam recalled his father reading to him on Christmas Eve in the back of a wagon as they travelled west, and he had done it every year since.

Ben opened the book and sat back propping it on his knee, though he knew the words by heart.

“And it came to pass in those days, that there was a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. And all went to be taxed, every one unto their own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; to be taxed with Mary, his espoused wife, being great with child.”

Adam’s hand moved slowly until he found Becky’s, and he held it and squeezed it gently.

“And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her first born son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.”

Ben paused and was about to continue, when Adam turned to Becky, and winked at her.

“Well, at least this one won’t have to born in a stable, unless you insist.”

Becky joined in with Adam’s fun.

“Well by July, the barn should be nice and warm, so perhaps it’s worth thinking about.”

“I don’t know, we would have to think about moving the horses out, and I expect you’ll want fresh straw. But I don’t think that Paul will approve of the idea.”

Ben, Joe and Hoss were staring at them, open mouthed. Their first thought was that the pair had lost their senses. Then as they realised what they were saying, the truth began to sink in.

“You mean…?” Gasped Ben.

“Adam.” Cried Joe.

“Well I’ll be a horn swoggled toad.” Exclaimed Hoss.

“Adam, do you mean what I think you mean?” Shouted Ben, leaping to his feet and grabbing Adam’s arms and hauling him to his feet.

“Yes, Pa. Or should I call you Grandpa?” Laughed Adam.

“You can call me anything you like. Then that’s why…?” Said Ben, his eyes looking up towards the bedroom in sudden understanding. He hugged his son, and then turned to Becky, taking her hand and lifting her to her feet as well.

“My dear, I’m so pleased for you both.” He hugged her gently and kissed her cheek. Then Hoss and Joe were congratulating them, hugging Becky and slapping Adam on the back. They drank many toasts that night, and it was well into Christmas Day by the time they all found their beds.

Chapter Six

Spring came and brought fine weather and good grazing. Becky’s herd increased in size and Adam advised her about selling the excess stock. He was careful never to offer advice unless he was asked, and Becky was becoming proficient at dealing with the day-to-day problems as they arose. Adam was proud of her, she seemed to have a good head for business, and a natural feel for the life of a rancher. He hoped that the arrival of the baby would not stop her from being able to continue.

One afternoon they sat in the swing seat on the porch, talking about it.

“Becky, I want you to be able to carry on running the ranch, after the baby’s born.”

“But I don’t know that I will have the time, I mean a child is a big responsibility. You can’t just put it to one side until you have the time to care for it.”

“But you will if I help you.”

Becky paused, biting her bottom lip. How could she tell Adam that she didn’t want help with the ranch? If she couldn’t do it herself then there was no point in continuing. She felt that she was just getting to grips with it, and knew that if Adam became involved, that no matter how hard he tried not to, he would end up running it.

“Adam, thank you for the offer, but I want to run this place by myself. If I can’t then I’ll give it up, if I feel it’s hurting you or our child. I know that you mean well, and I don’t know how to say this without hurting you, but I don’t want you taking over. You know that is what would happen. You’re so experienced at running a ranch, and it would just come naturally to you to be in charge.” She looked at him, uncertain of his reaction. She hoped that she had read him right, that he would prefer honesty.

She was surprised to hear him laughing quietly. She raised her eyes in surprise.

“Oh no, the ranch is yours. I have enough to do at the Ponderosa, I don’t need another place to look after. No, I meant with the child.”

“With the child!” Becky said amazed. “But men don’t raise children, that’s a woman’s job.”

“Can I be hearing such words from the woman who came west because the Easterners wouldn’t let he do something simply because of her sex?” He took her hands in his. “You forget that my father raised three children, virtually single handed. Perhaps some of that ability will have rubbed off on me. At least let me try.”

She could see that he was serious.

“Well,” said Becky, “I knew that there was some good reason for marrying you, I just never realised it was because you would be useful as a mother’s help.”

“Well I’m glad I can be useful for something.” He laughed hugging her. He heard the sound of a horse coming towards them, and as he released Becky from his arms, he saw Doc Martin pull up in his buggy.

“Hi, Paul,” he called. “What brings you out here?”

“Hello Adam, Becky, just thought I’d come and check up on my favourite expectant mother, since I was passing.” Said Paul, mounting the porch steps.

“Well then, come inside. I’ll make some coffee while you two are busy.”

Paul took Becky to the bedroom, and Adam took refuge in the kitchen. He kept himself busy making coffee while he waited for them to finish. Whenever the doctor appeared he had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he might find something wrong. No matter how many times Becky tried to reassure him, the feeling persisted.

He took the coffee out onto the porch, but couldn’t settle. He paced up and down until they reappeared. Becky had a slightly bemused smile on her face and Paul was serious.

“What is it?” Asked Adam, afraid that his fears were about to be confirmed.

“Adam sit down a moment will you?” Said Becky.

“No,” he said abruptly. “I don’t want to sit down, I want you to tell me what’s wrong. Paul?” He said turning to the doctor. His hands had started to shake and he crossed them over his chest, holding them under his arms, to stop the tremor.

“Adam, nothing is wrong. I have examined Becky and she is in perfect health. I have just told her that she is expecting twins.”

“T…T…Twins.” Adam felt his legs beginning to give way and sat heavily on the swing seat.

“I told you to sit down.” Said Becky knowingly.

“Twins.” Adam said again, his face reflecting the shock he felt. Not one gift but two! He looked at Paul.

“Are you sure? How come you didn’t know before?” Adam was afraid that the doctor might have made a mistake. He didn’t want to believe it unless Paul was certain.

“Sometimes one baby is sort of hiding behind the other. As they get bigger, it becomes more obvious. I haven’t seen Becky in over a month, and in that time it has become possible to tell.” Paul explained.

“Adam, are you all right?” Becky was eager that he should be as happy as she was. He just nodded, trying to take in the news.

“It’s really a good thing, you know.” She wanted Adam to know she was not worried about this development. “I am not getting any younger, and this will give us a head start on a family.” She took his hand and felt it tremble in hers.

“Twins.” He murmured, and then looked at Becky. “Twins!”

Becky nodded, smiling.

“Oh Becky, that’s wonderful.”

“Do you want to take back your offer?” She laughed.

“No, but I might need some help. Perhaps Pa might like to help with child care duties.”

“Well, if you think you can’t manage…” She teased.

“No, I’ll manage just fine, you’ll see. There’s nothing a Cartwright can’t do if he puts his mind to it.” He said with more confidence than he felt.

”Becky I’ll be back to check on you again in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, make sure that you get plenty of rest. Twins can take a lot out of you even before they’re born.” Paul walked back to his buggy.

“Don’t worry, Paul. I’ll see that she rests.” They waved to the doctor as he left.

“Are you really pleased?” Becky asked Adam.

“What would you do if I said ‘no’?” He wanted to know.

“Good point.” She conceded. “Do you think that your father can stand the shock of knowing that he is to be a grandfather twice over?”

“I expect so. It just means he’ll spoil you twice as badly.” Adam hugged her. “Now, you must do as the doctor ordered and take it easy. I’ll go and cook supper, you just stay right there.”

“Adam there’s no need for that.” She insisted. But as she made to rise, Adam put his strong hands on her shoulders and pushed her back down, gently, but firmly.

“Just for once do as your husband commands, and stay there.” He ordered.

“Very well, just this once. Thank you.” She watched him disappear inside and thought to herself that she had quite a battle ahead if she were to lead anything like a normal life until the babies were delivered.

Chapter Seven

One day in early June found Adam and Becky at the Ponderosa, enjoying Sunday lunch with his family. They were sitting round the table chatting, when Becky suddenly became very quiet. Adam noticed but said nothing, just sat watching her, making certain that she was all right.

She leant over to him. “Adam, do you mind if I go upstairs for a moment?”

“No of course not, are you feeling unwell?” He was anxious and could not keep it from his voice.

“I’m fine. Please don’t worry.” She rose and excused herself, and went slowly up the stairs.

“She OK?” Hoss asked.

“She says she is, but…” Said Adam absently, his thoughts upstairs with his wife.

“She’s probably just a little tired. Carrying twins can do that.” Ben assured him.

“Yeah.” Adam wasn’t so sure.

He was still looking towards the stairs when Becky reappeared.

“Adam would you come up here a moment?” She asked. Adam shot out of his chair and bounded up the stairs two at a time until he reached her.

“What is it, what’s the matter?” He asked holding her shoulders.

“Nothing. But I think these babies can’t wait any longer. Adam I’m in labour.”

Adam stared at her. Suddenly all sense left him.

“What should I do?” He asked, seeking guidance.

“Well I think it might be a good idea to send for the doctor, don’t you?” Said Becky calmly. She had been preparing herself for this moment and she was ready.

“A doctor? Oh my God, of course, a doctor.” He turned and flew down the stairs, leaving Becky standing there, and eliciting worried looks from the three men still sitting round the table.

“We need a doctor, I’m going to get him.” Said Adam starting for the door, but Ben stood and went over to him and took his arm.

“Why does Becky need a doctor?”

Adam stared at his father, surely he knew you needed a doctor to deliver babies?

“For the babies.” He stated the obvious, obvious to no one but himself.

“Adam do you mean Becky needs the doctor because she is in labour?”

“Yes, of course. I must go.” He pulled away from his father and picked up his hat.

“You will stay right where you are. Joseph, go and fetch Paul.” Joe needed no second bidding, and was gone before Adam had a chance to object.

“Now you, my boy, will stay right here, Becky needs you.” Adam looked at him blankly.

Ben went over to the table by the stairs and poured his son a brandy. He went back and handed it to him.

“Now just sit down and get a grip on yourself. You’re going to be no good to Becky until you do.” Adam didn’t protest, and sat on the sofa sipping the amber liquor. He felt it’s calming influence and looked at his father.

“How come you’re so wise?” He smiled as he said it.

“Practice.” Said Ben simply.

When Adam had calmed down and got a hold on his senses he went up to see Becky. He knocked on his bedroom door and heard her voice beckon him inside. He went to the bed and sat down, taking her hand in his.

“What can I do?” He asked her gently.

“Nothing, it’s only just started. There’s a long way to go yet. Just sit and be with me for now.”

“How can you be so calm, knowing what you are going to have to face?” He wanted to know. He was so proud of her, she was strong and brave, and he knew that she was going to make a fine mother for his children.

Adam sat with Becky, sometimes reading to her, sometimes talking, sometimes just holding her hand, and looking at her, until the doctor arrived and ushered him from the room. He went downstairs, where his father and brothers were waiting.

“How is she?” Asked Ben.

“Pa, how do women do it? She’s up there, looking for all the world as though this were just another day. She’s calm and patient, just waiting for what’s to come. How do they do it?” He shook his head in amazement.

“Son, that is something a man will never understand. Don’t try, just be here for her.” Adam looked at his father and nodded, he would always be here for his beloved wife.

Hours passed, and Adam could not settle. He paced the floor, he went outside to the barn to make sure that the horses were settled for the night. He paced the yard, then returned and paced the living room.

“Adam sit down before you wear yourself out.” Ben commanded. Adam sat, but was soon on his feet again, his eyes straying to the stairs. He wanted to go and see Becky, find out how she was, but his father stopped him.

He turned to Hoss and Joe. “Boys, for God’s sake find him something to do.”

Hoss and Joe looked at each other, at a loss to know what would keep their brother occupied.

“How about a game of chess?” Joe suggested. Adam nodded absently and Joe set up the pieces. After Joe had won his third straight game, he knew Adam wasn’t concentrating and gave up.

“Adam, come outside and help me clean the barn.” Said Hoss, despite the fact that it was dark outside. Adam went with him, but when Hoss handed him a broom, he took it and went to stand at the door, staring at the light from his bedroom window.

“Hoss, why is it taking so long?” He pleaded with his brother for an answer.

“Adam, how many times have you been here when a mare foaled? You know these things ain’t quick. Nature will take its time. Not your time or mine, these things happen slowly, but they do happen. The waiting’s always the worst for those doin’ nothin’, but Paul’s with her, don’t worry.” Hoss came and put his arm round Adam’s shoulder, trying to instil in him some of his own immense patience. Adam looked at Hoss, this giant of a man with a heart to match.

“You’re right, it just isn’t easy waiting, not knowing what’s happening.”

“I know, but you ain’t goin’ to hurry it none by fretting.”

“Let’s go inside, the barn can wait, and so can I.”

They returned to the living room and Adam sat on the sofa next to Joe, and Hoss settled himself in the armchair opposite his father.

“Any more of that brandy, Pa?” Asked Adam.

Ben poured one for each of them, and they sat and waited.

Adam suddenly got to his feet as he heard Becky cry out. Ben rose and put a hand on Adam’s arm.

“It’s all right, son, don’t worry.”

“But Pa…”

They heard another cry, and Ben had to restrain Adam from running up the stairs. He stood immobile wanting to go to Becky, but knowing that he couldn’t help her. Finally, Ben managed to make him sit down again.

Dawn came and gradually turned into full daylight, and Ben could see Adam’s face becoming drawn with worry. Adam felt that every time he heard Becky cry out, it was as though a knife was piercing his heart. He couldn’t believe that he had been part of making this happen to her. He wanted to be with her, to comfort her and to take some of her pain to himself, but he knew that wasn’t possible, so he sat as the worry washed over him. Suddenly Paul appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Hoss, I need your help, now.” Said Paul, and turned back to return to Becky without waiting to see if Hoss would join him. Adam stood as Hoss passed him, preparing to follow.

“Adam wait. Paul asked for Hoss.”

“Yes I know, but that means there’s a problem.”

“Maybe.” Said Ben honestly. “But if he wanted you there don’t you think he would have said so.”

Adam turned and sat down again without replying. Silence returned, and Adam sat and tried to imagine what was happening. He looked up at his father.

“Pa, how did you do this three times?” He shook his head in wonder.

“Believe me it never gets any easier.” Ben said, remembering his own times of waiting. “But it’s always worth it.” He looked at his sons and smiled. Adam smiled back at him, knowing that his father was right, and he would do it again if Becky wanted to.

They sat again in silence, until suddenly they heard plaintive cries from upstairs, the cries of infants. All three of them got to their feet, Paul appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Adam please come up.” A cold hand seemed to have taken a grip on Adam’s heart, and suddenly he didn’t want to move. Something was wrong, he could see it in Paul’s face. He swayed and his father was by his side holding him.

“Becky?” He whispered, but Paul heard him.

“Becky’s going to be all right, and so are your children.”

Adam collapsed against his father.

“Thank God.” He said as a tear escaped from his eyes. Then he stood straight and bounded up the stairs, past Paul and into the bedroom. Hoss was standing to one side of the room, and left quietly as Adam entered. Adam didn’t notice him, he had eyes only for his wife.

Becky was lying with her eyes closed, and Adam went to her, and kneeling beside her, gently took her hand in his.

“Becky, I’m here. Oh Becky, I love you.” His tears flowed freely when he saw her open her eyes and smile at him.

“Have you seen our babies?” She turned her head to the cribs beside the bed. Adam rose, and wiping his eyes dry, went to look down at his sleeping children. They lay there, eyes closed sleeping peacefully, unaware of the worry they had caused. Both were dark haired like their parents.

“What…?”

“We have been blessed, Adam. A boy and a girl.” Becky’s voice was faint, and Adam looked at her, seeing the tiredness in her eyes. He went back to sit on the bed beside her. He looked down at her and leant over to kiss her forehead.

“Thank you.” He didn’t know how to express the gratitude he had, for what she had done and what she had given him, but he swore that as long as he lived he would let her know what it meant to him.

“Thank you.” He said again. He moved to put his arms round her shoulders, but she screwed her eyes up in pain.

“What’s the matter, do you need Paul?” At that moment, however the doctor returned.

“Adam, Becky, I have to speak to you.” Adam looked up to see the serious expression on the doctor’s face and turned to look at the babies, lying peacefully beside him. Was something wrong? The cold hand that had gripped his heart before returned to hold him in its vice-like grip.

“Adam, I needed Hoss’s help because the babies could not be born naturally, they needed help. I performed what we call a Caesarean operation, it’s not serious, but Becky will take a while to recover from it. If I hadn’t done it, we might have lost Becky and the babies. She must remain quiet and not move around too much until the incision has begun to heal.”

“Paul, thank you for everything you’ve done. I’ll make sure that Becky does as she’s told.” Said Adam.

“There’s something else I have to tell you.” Paul took a deep breath and continued. “Because of the damage the babies did trying to get born, Becky has suffered internally. It is my opinion that Becky will not be able to have any more children.” Paul looked at them, seeing the shock of his words register on their faces. “I’m sorry, I wish there was something I could do.”

Adam stood and went round the bed to take Paul’s hand. He held it and looked steadily at this doctor who was also his friend, and who was suffering at having to tell them such news.

“Paul, you have brought Becky safely through this and you have my eternal gratitude for that. If we never have another child, then it makes these that we have even more precious. You saved them, we owe you everything for that.” He put his hand on Paul’s arm and squeezed it to let him know that everything was all right.

“Becky,” said Paul, “I’ll come back and see you later. Adam, make sure that she rests.”

“Don’t worry I will.”

“Do you want me to tell your father what has happened?”

“No, we’ll tell him. It can wait a while. Let him enjoy his grandchildren. Would you ask them all to come up?”

“Of course.” Paul took a final look at Adam and Becky, and seemingly satisfied at what he saw, nodded and left.

Adam turned to Becky, and saw tears glisten in her eyes.

“Don’t Becky. We have two beautiful children, and you never have to go through this again.”

“Oh Adam, I’m sorry.” She cried, but stopped herself as she heard footsteps approaching.

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing to be sorry about.” Said Adam sitting on the bed beside her.

His father and brothers knocked and came into the room, and they were greeted with smiles.

“Well, how are you?” Asked Ben, moving to look at the sleeping bundles, followed by Hoss and Joe.

“I’m fine, just a little sore.”

Joe bent down to kiss her, watched by Adam with raised eyebrows.

“That’s my wife you’re kissing, little brother.”

“No it isn’t. It’s the mother of my nephews,” he paused, “Or is it nieces?”

“Both.” Stated Adam proudly.

“You mean…”

“Yup. Matching set.” Adam’s face glowed with pride, he still couldn’t get used to the idea that he had two children.

“Oh boy, a girl in the family.” Said Joe and Adam laughed at the ridiculous statement. He looked at Becky, and saw that she too was smiling. She looked at him, the father of the children she had thought she would never have, and then glanced over his shoulder to look out of the window.

“Look Adam, the sun is shining on our first day as parents.”

Adam bent and kissed her lightly. “Go to sleep.” He ordered, and as his Father and brothers took the hint and left, he sat with her until she fell asleep.

Chapter Eight

Hop Sing had lunch waiting for them when they came down, and they attacked it hungrily, all except Adam. Ben noticed that he hardly touched his food, pushing it around his plate, his mind elsewhere.

“Eat your food, son. You didn’t touch supper last night, or your breakfast. You must keep up your strength now you have a family to look after.” Ben smiled to encourage Adam to eat.

Adam looked at his father, who was shocked to see the obvious pain in the dark eyes.

“Adam, what the matter. Becky’s going to be fine, and so are the children. She just needs to rest. She has been through an ordeal, but it’s over, she’ll be fine soon.”

Adam put down his fork and rose from the table. He paced back and forth in front of the fireplace.

“No it’s not fine.” He stopped pacing and faced his father. Hoss and Joe sat like statues, afraid of what their brother was about to say.

“Paul told us that Becky was hurt trying to give birth. So hurt that she can never have any more children. Pa, I did this to her, I made her pregnant, and now…”

Ben left the table and walked over to Adam, taking his son’s shoulders in his hands.

“Son, it takes two you know. Becky wouldn’t have done this if she didn’t want to. If she can’t have more children then you must be thankful for the children you have.”

“I know, and I am, believe me. But how is she going to feel, knowing that she can’t have any more. She was looking forward to more, I know she was.”

“Adam, Becky is a strong woman, she’ll come to terms with this, as will you. You have to be strong for her right now, she will need your support and love, and won’t thank you if you blame yourself.”

“I know, you’re right. I guess I just feel so sorry for her, knowing that she has lost that part of her life. I don’t mind if I never have any more children, and I’m just thankful that Becky is all right. A part of me is glad that she will never have to go through that again. But I so want her to be happy, and I feel as if I’ve taken something away from her.”

“Why don’t you go and talk to her about it. You haven’t had a chance to do that. I think she will feel as you do. You have two perfect children right now, and I’m sure that you will find that she is happy enough with that.” Ben gave Adam a shove to send him up the stairs, and Adam went slowly, the stairs seeming like a mountain. He wanted to see Becky, but he did not want to see the look in her eyes when she saw him, knowing what he had done to her.

He opened the bedroom door slowly, half hoping that she would be asleep, but she turned to face him. He stood hesitantly with his hand on the doorknob. She raised her hand towards him, and he came to the bedside and took it, holding it to his chest as he sat down.

“Becky, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” She asked puzzled.

“For doing this to you.”

“Adam,” she asked sleepily, “What are you talking about?” She was too tired to understand what he meant.

“This.” He said sweeping his hand down the bed.

Becky turned her head to look at him, she still could not work out what he was talking about.

“I’m too tired for games, my darling.” She said closing her eyes.

“I’m sorry for getting you pregnant, and for what has resulted. I know that you wanted more children and now…”

Becky opened her eyes and looked at him. She was suddenly wide awake as she saw the agony on his face, and understood.

“Adam will you just do one thing for me?”

“Anything.”

“Go and pick up your children, go on.” She insisted as he hesitated. Adam went round the bed and, a little uncertainly, picked up his son and daughter, cradling them in his arms.

“Now tell me you’re sorry.”

Adam looked from the babies to Becky and back again. His gaze rested on their angelic faces and after a long moment he looked again at Becky.

His face broke into a smile as he tried to look everywhere at once.

“No, I’m not sorry. I am stupid, but I’m not sorry.” He put the babies back in their cribs and went to Becky. Without moving her, he bent down and kissed her. She put her arms round him and pulled him down towards her, he tensed not wanting to hurt her with his weight, but she held him until he relaxed. He buried his head in her shoulder, overwhelmed by the love he had for her and for the children she had borne.

“Adam,” she said softly in his ear, “I love you, and I love the gifts that God has given us. If he sees fit that they shall be our only children, then that just makes them even more precious. I do not regret for a moment that I had them, or that you gave them to me. I love you for that, and will go on loving you.”

Adam couldn’t speak, he thought for the hundredth that he didn’t deserve this woman. He raised his head to look at her, so beautiful, the mother of his children, and kissed her, then pulled away to look at her again. Becky pushed him away.

“Now get out of here and let me get some sleep. Those two are not going to stay peaceful for ever. They are going to want feeding, and so am I.” She reminded him. He stood and with a last backward glance, winked at her and left her to sleep.

Chapter Nine

Two weeks later, the twins were baptized. The ceremony was held at the Ponderosa, Becky still being too weak to travel to Virginia City. The family and Godparents stood round the small font, responding to the minister’s words. When it came time to name the children, the Godparents stepped forward. Roy Coffee and Martha Collins stood beside the minister with Hoss, his nephew in his arms. Paul Martin and Margie Cunningham stood on the ministers other side, where Joe held his niece.

The minister took the baby from Hoss’s arms and asked for the name of the child.

“Joshua Benjamin.” Hoss responded.

“Joshua Benjamin, I baptize thee in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.” Joshua cried as he felt the water on his head, but quieted again as the minister handed him back to Hoss, who enfolded him in his strong arms, and comforted him.

The minister then took Joshua’s sister from Joe and asked again for the name of the child.

“Elizabeth Rebecca.” Replied Joe.

“Elizabeth Rebecca, I baptize thee in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost”. Again small cries could be heard as the minister wetted the baby’s head. Joe took possession of his niece and tried to pacify her, but she was having none of it and let everybody know how upset she was at the indignity of her treatment.

The minister ended the ceremony and they all celebrated the newest additions to the Cartwright family. Hop Sing had prepared a buffet fit for the occasion, and they were joined by Martha’s husband, Isaac and Margie’s brother, Michael. Martha and Margie were old friends of the family and had known Adam since he and Ben had first settled there.

The guests stayed until late afternoon when they took their leave and the family relaxed. Adam and Becky came downstairs, Becky had fed the twins and they were sleeping, allowing their parents a few precious moments of peace.

Becky had stayed at the Ponderosa after the birth, recovering, but it would be a little while still before she would be ready to go home. Ben was in no hurry to see her leave, he loved having children in the house again, and doted on them and their mother. Adam went back to their home occasionally to make sure that everything was in order, but Jeb had it all under control.

Later that night, after supper, Becky was in bed, and Adam went outside to get some air before retiring. He was sitting at the table on the veranda at the front of the house, when his father joined him.

“Hi Pa.” Adam greeted him.

“Mind if I join you?” Ben asked before sitting down.

“No, of course not.”

They sat silently for a moment, and then Ben spoke.

“Thank you for naming Elizabeth for your mother. Elizabeth Cartwright.” Said Ben, savouring again the joining of those two words, and his eyes became distant as he remembered.

“You don’t mind that we didn’t name Josh for you?” Asked Adam.

“Of course I don’t mind. Joshua is a fine name for a man.”

“I just couldn’t see myself disciplining Ben Cartwright. ‘ Come here, Ben’ or ‘Ben Cartwright, get your feet off that table’. No, I can’t imagine ever doing that.” Adam laughed, and Ben smiled at him.

“Becky seems to be recovering.” Observed Ben.

“Yes, she’s still sore from the operation, but every day she’s getting stronger. I expect I’ll be able to take her home soon. But I’m worried that she will over do it if she goes too soon. Do you mind?”

“No, she’s welcome to stay here as long as she likes, we love having her, and you too.”

“Well, as long as it’s not disrupting things too much. I notice that Hoss and Joe seem to finish work rather early these days. Can’t wait to get back to see the babies.”

“Those brothers of yours are so besotted with the children that it’s a miracle they’re getting any work done at all.” Ben agreed.

“I told Becky that I would help her look after the children, while she takes care of the ranch.” Adam had not told his father of the arrangement before and was interested in his reaction.

“Did you, that was very generous of you.”

“Well, I have to admit that I suggested it before I knew that there would be two children to look after. To tell you the truth I’m not sure I can handle it.”

“What, Adam Cartwright admitting that he might not be equal to the task. Adam you have never admitted to not being able to do something once you set your mind to it.” Ben knew his son. He would be perfectly capable of looking after two children, it was just that he had never had to do it before and it probably frightened him, though he would never admit that.

“Yes, but this is different. If ever I failed before it might have cost me money, or a bit of hide, it might have hurt my pride, but this is different. If I fail at this I could hurt someone I love.” He was asking for his father’s help, and Ben was touched.

“Adam, you won’t fail, but remember if you need help I’m here. I have raised three sons, it was never easy, it was always a challenge, but it gave me enormous pleasure. Especially as you all grew and matured, and turned into fine men, sons a father can be proud of. And remember that you helped me to bring up those boys, I couldn’t have done it without you, and I will always be here to help you if you need it.”

“Thank you, Pa, I know it won’t be easy. I know that I helped you bring up Hoss and Joe, but the responsibility was never entirely my own, you were always there. Now I have three lives depending on me.”

“Adam you may not realise it, but you had three lives depending on you here. I relied on you to help with Hoss and Joe, and you did. And you helped with the ranch as well, putting all your efforts into building it up, making it secure. Hoss and Joe relied on you to be there for them, to help them when they needed it, either with advice or encouragement, sometimes with brute force. They always knew they could count on you. This is no different. If you had failed them they could have been dead a dozen times over. It takes no more courage to bring up a family than it does to face a gang of rustlers, it may be a different kind of courage, but you have that too.”

Adam looked at his father, seeing the strong face beneath the grey hair. How was it that he was always able to say the right thing at the right time? Would he be able to offer his son the right advice when he needed it? Well time would tell.

“You’re right, Pa. I guess I never looked at it that way before.”

“Now go to bed, it’s late and we have to finalise those contracts in the morning. I don’t want your brain to be half asleep while you’re going through them.”

Adam rose and his father joined him. Ben put his arms round Adam’s shoulders.

“Remember what I said, I’m always here if you need me. Now go.”

Adam went into the house and up to his room. Becky was asleep and he undressed and slid into bed beside her, trying not to disturb her, but she stirred and opened her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Said Adam.

“That’s all right, I wasn’t really asleep.”

“Becky I’ve been talking to Pa. I hope that when the time comes for me to have a fatherly talk to my son, that I can be as wise as he is, and give sound advice as he always does.”

“Oh? And what about your daughter?” Becky pushed herself up to lean against the headboard. Adam seemed as though he wanted to talk, and she was prepared to listen.

“Well, her too, but I sort of thought that a mother would give advice to a daughter. Remember that I have been surrounded by men all my life.” Adam smiled at the thought of helping his daughter with a problem, and he had to admit he was looking forward to being able to. Then he became serious.

“Becky, I want to tell you that I am going to try to be the best father that I can. That I will devote myself to you and our children, that I will try never to let you down, and to always be there when you need me. If ever you think that I am doing less than my best, I want you to tell me. This fatherhood thing has me scared, but not so scared as I would be if I thought that you were disappointed in me.”

“Adam, I know, it has me a bit scared too. But I know that together we’ll be all right, because we love each other, and we can overcome anything that life puts in our way. I could never be disappointed with you, because I know that you will never do less than your best for us, because that is the sort of man you are, and I love you for it.”

“Kiss me.” He ordered gently, and she leant towards him and kissed him, and he responded, taking her in his arms. The kiss was set to last a long time, when a cry could be heard from Joshua. Becky broke away to go to him.

Adam sighed. “It looks like I might have to have a fatherly talk to that son of mine about the joys of love a few years before I’d planned.” He said.

The End

Next Story in the Memories of Love Series:

A Time to Heal
The Unlooked for Saviour
To Rage in Heaven

 

Tags: Adam Cartwright, wife / wives