All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars.

The Pass by Rush (Neil Elwood Peart, Gary Lee Weinrib, Alex Zivojinovich)

 

The stars slowly wheeled overhead as he lay back in his bedroll and watched them. The inky black sky held a threat of rain and he hoped it would hold off for another few hours at least.

He had no idea how long it had been since they had crawled into the well-used blankets and tried to catch a few hours of sleep. Tired muscles ached with a deep nagging that would not leave easily and he felt every rock and stick underneath him.

The sound of Hoss snoring across the fire brought a smile to his lips. There was something vaguely comforting in it despite the fact it almost certainly meant he wouldn’t get to sleep at all. Hoss could sleep through an earthquake – at least according to Little Joe.

Or cause an earthquake!

He grinned in the dark as he considered the way they bickered and traded insults, but somehow always managed to wrap an arm around each other’s shoulder and find something to laugh about at the end of each day.

It had been a long three weeks on the trail as they had driven the herd the long way around to the railhead. It wasn’t planned that way, but a flooded river and a washout had taken a good section of the trail with it and forced them to backtrack. It had cost them almost two full days. And the life of one of their hands when the sodden riverbank crumbled beneath his horse’s hooves.

He sucked in a sharp breath and looked again at the stars overhead. All his life he had looked to the stars and seen something bigger than himself. A plan that stretched across eternity that was written across the vast expanse. It made him feel simultaneously small and yet infinitely blessed.

A cloud scudded across the face of the moon and for a few moments, the sky darkened. It was almost as if the heavens sensed his dark mood. There was always a risk in ranch life and every man who worked for them knew that. Yet it still tore at him that he had failed to bring one of them home. The darkness crowded in as he closed his eyes and tried to push away the lasting images of a drowning man clutching desperately at tree roots.

It was no use. Sleep was not going to come any time soon so he shrugged out of the bedroll and made his way over to the fire. A half-filled coffee pot sat to one side and he edged it into the coals to reheat.

It wasn’t the first time he’d lost a man under his command. As he stared up at the stars again, he could hear the deep voice of his mentor and captain. Abel had tried to bring comfort the first time it had happened.

“Benjamin, all of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars.”

Look for the light. Find the hope. Come home.