SUMMARY:  A prequel story in which a fishing trip by two young brothers is the catalyst for an important father/son conversation.

Rating = pg  Word count = 2533

Nevermore

It was one of those days where the sun glinting off insects flying in the meadow made them appear bigger than they were in the distance. It was clear there were many of them, and Hoss Cartwright decided it was a good day to try to catch some to use as bait for fishing. Little Joe thought they always used worms but was informed that Hoss had learned from their older brother Adam that larger insects could catch some big fish. Hoping to find out if that worked, he planned to catch a few in the meadow on their way to the stream and pond. The first large insect he pursued was a rather otherworldly looking one that Little Joe hesitated to touch when Hoss caught it and wanted to put in the jar his younger brother held.

“It’s a dragonfly, Little Joe.”

“What’s a dragonfly?”

“It’s a bug that kin sew your lips together. Ya gotta watch out fur ’em. Ifn they gets too close to ya, your lips might get sewed up tight.”

Six-year-old Little Joe Cartwright slapped his hand over his lips as his eyes got very wide. He adored his older brother Hoss who knew so much about nature and animals, but this was one very scary piece of information. Keeping his hand up to protect his mouth, he did his best to ask a question but had to say it several times before Hoss understood what he was saying.

“You want to know how I found that out?” Little Joe nodded vigorously. Hoss smiled because he had an older brother he admired as much as Little Joe did. “Adam told me. I was probably no bigger than you are now and he told me that. I ain’t never forgot it neither. Adam’s got all sorts of good information up there in his head.”

“I don’t want no darned dragonfly in the jar then!”

“You jest keep this here lid on tight so you’ll be safe.” Pausing briefly, Hoss had an admonition he knew he had to say. “And don’t say ‘darned’ ’cause Pa wouldn’t like it.”

“You just said it.”

“I only said it ’cause you said it.”

“Pa said that ain’t a ‘cuse saying we done something becuz somebody else done it.”

“Dadburnit, Little Joe, you get me so dadblamed confused sometimes. Just don’t say ‘darned’, all right?”

“All right, but you said it two times now.”

Groaning in frustration, Hoss took the jar from Little Joe and deposited the dragonfly before screwing the lid back on and handing the jar back to his little brother. Little Joe wasn’t so sure he should even handle the jar.

“He cain’t get at ya through the glass. You’re safe.”

Carefully, Little Joe took the jar in his hands and carefully held it in front of him keeping his eyes on the dragonfly inside.

“What if he gets out when you put another bug inside?”

Not having considered the difficulty of putting a second bug in the jar, Hoss thought about that for a time before answering. Being a practical thinker though, he had a solution.

“I’ll hold the jar upside down and put the new bug in the lid and then screw the lid back on that way. Then I’ll turn the jar right side up and dump that new bug right in there with the old one.”

When Hoss caught a large beetle and got ready to implement his plan, Little Joe ran about twenty feet away ready to bolt if Hoss’ plan failed. It didn’t. Hoss puffed out his twelve-year-old chest and proclaimed that he was the bug catching champion after that little stunt. He put several more in there the same way until he had what he thought was a good collection. They headed the rest of the way to their fishing spot then although Little Joe made Hoss carry the jar. He was not confident at all about holding a jar containing a dragonfly.

When the two boys got to the stream, they sat on the bank and looked at the jar and at the fishing lines wondering how to get the bugs onto the hooks now that they had them. They opened the jar carefully and Hoss tried to get the dragonfly first but in the process, dropped the jar and the dragonfly flew off. That led to a half-hour of trying to catch it again. Little Joe didn’t want to tell Hoss that he never wanted to catch that dragonfly and did what he could to make it fly off whenever they got close to it. Instead, he said he was trying to make it fly toward Hoss. That wasn’t entirely untruthful.

Tired and sweating, Hoss finally decided to give up and go back to use the other insects. In their haste to chase the dragonfly though, they had neglected to put the lid back on the jar and all the other insects were gone except for one beetle unable to scale the slippery sides of the glass jar. Hoss put that lone bug on his hook and cast it into the stream overjoyed a short time later to pull in a nice sized trout for his efforts. However, they had no more bait and there was another issue.

“Joe, we done used so much time catching them bugs, and then we chased ’em all over again, that the sun’s getting low. We gotta head on back home already.”

“Aw, Hoss, I didn’t even get to fish at all.”

“I guess we’ll have to ask Pa ifn we kin go agin tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday. We gots ta go ta church. Pa always makes us go ta church when the sun’s shining on a Sunday.”

“There’ll be plenty of time when we get home.”

“You know Pa will want us ta have what he calls family time.”

“Joe, you just act yourself and he’ll be happy to have us gone for a coupla hours.”

“Huh? Oh, you mean that thing I do with asking questions and jumping up and down and walking all around not being able to sit in one place?”

“Yeah, do that. It drives Pa crazy.”

“I kin do that. That’s all it takes and we can go fishing?”

“I think that’ll work. You just behave in church so he don’t want ta punish ya for being bad in church. He won’t never let us go ifn you’re bad in church.”

“Geez, Hoss, why do I have to do everything?”

“Ya wanna go fishin’, dontcha?”

“Oh, yeah. All right, I’ll do it.”

The two brothers walked home, presented their one fish to Hop Sing, and told their tale of woe to their father and brother. The escapade of catching the bugs had Ben and Adam chuckling, but when they talked about trying to put the bugs on a hook and having them all escape except one lone beetle, the two older Cartwrights were laughing so hard, their sides hurt. Hoss and Little Joe spent some time describing the chase they put on for the escaped insects enjoying being the center of attention and getting their father and older brother to laugh. There hadn’t been enough laughter in the house for some time. It was a very good evening.

At least it was a very good evening until Little Joe woke screaming from a nightmare a couple of hours later. Ben and Adam rushed into his room. Little Joe tried to get out of bed and then demanded that they close his window.

“Little Joe, what’s wrong?”

“That dragonfly is going to come in and sew my lips together while I sleep. I know it.”

“Dragonflies don’t sew lips together, son. Who told you such a ridiculous thing?”

“Hoss told me. He said Adam told him that.”

With a scowl at Adam, Ben once more reassured Little Joe that it wasn’t true. However Little Joe said he would sleep if they would close his window. Ben agreed but said they would talk about it more in the morning. Little Joe asked if he could have the lamp on low just for this night. Ben agreed to that too. Then he indicated to Adam that it was time to leave. Outside the door, he grabbed Adam’s arm.

“How dare you tell such horrible tales to your younger brothers? It’s your responsibility to look out for them not terrorize them.”

“Pa, I don’t even remember telling that to Hoss. I’m sure it was many years ago when I was a boy. I heard stories like that from other boys.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was irresponsible, and now you can see the consequences of your actions. Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the consequences you can expect for your behavior.”

“My behavior? For something that happened years ago and I don’t even remember? That’s ridiculous.”

“Expect more for that tone with me, boy.”

Fuming, Adam stalked to his room and closed the door. Unable to sleep, Ben went downstairs to get a glass of brandy. An hour later, he was back upstairs and stopped in to see if Little Joe was sleeping soundly but found him still awake.

“I’m sorry, son. Are you still scared?” Little Joe nodded. Even in the dim light of the lamp, Ben could see that. He sat on a chair beside the bed and took his small son’s hand. “That story Adam told Hoss was mean. and it has caused you to lose sleep. I’ll deal with all of that tomorrow.”

“That’s not why I can’t sleep, Pa. It’s not why I’m scared.”

Confused, Ben had to ask. “Then why are you scared?”

“I heard what you said to Adam. It scares me when you talk like that. It scares me when you’re mean to Adam.”

“I wasn’t being mean to Adam.”

“It sounded mean to me, Pa.”

“I was only doing what a father has to do sometimes to raise his sons. Now, everything will be all right. You’ll see. Can you sleep now?”

“I think so.”

Little Joe rolled over, and Ben tucked the covers up around his shoulders and saw the slight smile and the closed eyes. He walked back to his bedroom but found his own slumber was difficult. In the morning, he decided he better talk to Hoss before he talked with Adam. He told Hoss about Little Joe’s nightmare and wasn’t surprised that Hoss had slept through the whole thing. When he told him why Little Joe had a nightmare, Hoss was upset.

“Dadburnit, Pa, I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d be upset by that. Why I heard that story when I was about that age, and it didn’t scare me none. I figured it was a silly story and laughed about it.”

“Who told you that story?”

“Adam did. We were telling each other tall tales we’d heard and he had some of the best ones. You know how he’s always been able to tell a good story. I remember that day. It was a real good day, Pa. Mama came out on the porch too and told some stories with us. We was all laughing. It was one of the first days that she and Adam got along real good.”

“So you thought it was a funny story and never believed it?”

“Course not, Pa. Well sure, when Adam told it, he had that serious voice and all, but we all laughed afterwards and I knew it weren’t real. I mean, it’s just silly.” Hoss hung his head then. “It’s my fault Little Joe had a nightmare though. I didn’t laugh with him about it and make him know it was silly. I guess I forgot about that part, but we was having so much fun and all, I didn’t know he took it so serious.”

“It’s all right, Hoss. We all make mistakes.” And Ben thought about how he made mistakes as a father, and he thought about how most of them were with his oldest son. Then he was able to adjust and do better with his younger sons. Sadly, Adam had to take the brunt of his mistakes as he learned to be a better father. He knew what he had to do, but once more, he didn’t know if an apology was going to be enough. He could see it wasn’t when Adam stayed serious throughout breakfast and quiet for the ride to church services. He hardly sang in church, which drew the attention of many in the congregation. They all knew something was wrong. The minister’s sermon was about casting the first stone. Ben thought about how apropos that was.

As they walked from the church to their horses for the ride home, Ben stooped to the ground and picked up several stones. Hoss and Little Joe saw what he did, but Adam was far ahead of them and did not. When they reached Adam, he was tightening the cinch on Little Joe’s horse. Ben stopped beside him and waited to be acknowledged. He handed the stones to Adam who looked down at them in his palm as his father dropped them there. He got the message. His father was acknowledging him as a man, an equal. That grin started slowly but eventually the dimple showed. Ben put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. All was well again. He made a pledge then and there to nevermore judge his son without talking with him first even if that talk was fiery as he expected some of them might be. That was what he told Adam later in the day and got a shy response from Adam.

“I was thinking about the same, Pa.” Then he surprised his father. “If you do want me to look out for my brothers, then I need to tell you something I know.”

“That Little Joe was good in church and then did everything he could to drive me crazy so they could go fishing this afternoon?”

“You knew.”

“Of course, but confidentially, I didn’t mind the idea of a quiet afternoon with no work and a chance to perhaps have a chess match with my oldest son. It won’t be long now before you’re leaving and I want to have as much time with you as I can before you head off to the east and school.”

Smiling, Adam moved to get out the chessboard and pieces and began setting them up. “And if we’re lucky, today, we get a fish dinner too.”

“Who did you send to watch over them this time?”

“Charlie. He likes to do it, and he does a little fishing upstream from where they are.”

“You’re a good older brother, Adam.”

Again with that shy look as if he wasn’t sure he should say it, Adam looked around to be sure there were no others in the room. “You’re a good father, Pa.”

With the first few moves, Ben was at a deficit in the chess match. He had a difficult time seeing the whole board with the tears in his eyes.

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright