Bullet Hole
So, this was it. All that was left: a hat with a bullet hole in it.
A dead son, a wasted young life, a mourning family, an empty shell of a father, one raging brother, one shattered brother, and a hat with a bullet hole in it.
Clumsy attempts at comfort by well meaning neighbours, head-ups from strangers, reassuring slaps on shoulders from friends, handshakes and condolences from townspeople, empty words and meaningless gestures, and a hat with a bullet hole in it.
A life with only two sons, a house with an empty bedroom at the end of the landing, a chair no one would ever sit in anymore, a void within his heart, and a damned hat with a bullet hole in it.
Ben squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as if this could rid him of his pain. But shutting out the world didn’t ease the pain, because the pain was inside and was part of his very existence, and it would be there forever.
And so Ben clutched the black hat to his chest, and wept.
***fin***
This was a heartfelt and sentimental piece! Definitely got the tears rolling.
Wow. 1,300 words… 1,300 perfect words that had me wondering exactly what was wrong with Adam… “why can’t his comb his own hair? Why would he be all dressed up if he was ill?” And then “… only this time I shoulda told.” Oh, my. This was truly brilliant… and heartbreaking.
Hoss said it all. So moved by this beautiful, tender writing.
Faust, you are one of those rare writers who can deliver an emotional wallop with few words, carefully chosen and artfully arranged, leading without manipulating. Hoss’s monologue here is so real and true to the character, and the gentle ending is even more powerful because of its subtlety — a silent explosion, unheard but reverberating in the marrow. I will return. 🙂
Yes, it’s me again, almost to the year from my last reading . It popped up in the random stories and I couldn’t resist. Still feels like a punch to the gut. Still brilliant.
This one always hits me square in the chest. Poor Hoss… who will look out for him now? Joe schemes, and Ben will be broken. 🙁
Its been a long time since I read this one because it feels a little too real. It stays with you long after the last word is read. It worms its way deep into you and pops up when you least expect it. It’s powerful. It’s painful. It’s brilliant.
People’s raw emotions, that’s what I wanted to convey with this set of stories. I dread rereading this myself in light of certain losses, so I know you were brave to come back to it.
Thank you for the praise! These are early attempts, written when fiction and English were still new to me, so your kind words are cherished the more.
Oh. Oh Faust. You’ve left a lump in my throat that I wasn’t counting on tonight. Beautiful, touching writing. Thank you.
Oh, I never saw this comment! I’m sorry for my late reply.
Thanks a lot for reading this, LC, and for reviewing. I’m sorry for the heartache. The individual parts of this compilation were written for prompts, and they are what founded my reputation as KAOS-writer. At the time, though, I found it interesting to look into grieving people’s minds, to explore how they cope, and I tried to find the right words to express what I saw.
I’m glad you think I succeeded with that.