As the wagon bumped along the road back towards the Ponderosa, Ben Cartwright looked down at his sixteen-year-old son, who was laying down beside him in a deep sleep. The sleep was not a natural one, however. It came as the result of the drug combination that Doc Martin had administered only a few hours ago. It was supposed to help Joe not feel any physical pain from the injuries he had sustained.

But what about the emotional and mental scars that had been left behind? What about them, Ben asked himself.  How long would they take to heal? Would they ever heal? Would his young son ever recover from the torment that he had suffered at the hands of Butch Thomas over the last month?

If he could turn back the hands of time over the last few weeks and foresee what would befall his youngest son, Ben would have taken the boy out of harms way. He would have simply packed up Joseph and one of his other sons, Adam or Hoss, if necessary, and made sure that Joe was safe in another town away from the dangers that lurked.

Ben caressed the boy’s soft curls, but his son didn’t respond to his touch. It was like a brick wall had been built between them, and it was getting harder and harder to reach in and find the real Little Joe.

The boy had changed so much over the past few weeks. He had been a confident young man full of energy and laughter who filled the house with love and joy.  Now the boy was sullen and withdrawn and spoke rarely unless asked a question, and even then it was a battle to get some sort of answer.

Ben swore to himself that he didn’t care how long it took, but he and his eldest two sons would be there every minute of the day and night, if necessary, to bring the boy back from the brink and back into the safe and loving arms of his family.

“He alright back there, Pa?” Hoss asked, as he guided the wagon team as slowly as he could over the rough dirt road back to the Ponderosa.

“As well as can be expected I guess, Hoss,” Ben replied in a voice that held no emotion at all.  “We will just have to see how he goes over the next couple of days. It is going to be a difficult time for us all.”

Hoss nodded and turned his attention back to the wagon team. As they pulled up outside the ranch house, Adam came outside, followed by Hop Sing. Adam had ridden on ahead of the rest of his family to make sure that everything would be ready in time when Hoss and his father arrived back with Little Joe.

Adam looked at his father before attempting to take his younger brother out of the wagon.   He hadn’t heard the tone of Ben’s voice just a few hundred metres back, but he saw the tiredness etched on his father’s face and the worry embedded deep into his father’s brown eyes.  His father looked almost a broken man. The thing that allowed the man to go on lay beside him wrapped up in the blankets. Adam didn’t want to contemplate how his father would have gone on if Joe had not come back home. He couldn’t put into words himself how he would have felt. 

One sixteen-year-old boy held the magical golden key to all their hearts and kept them all united.  Now, when this same boy had fallen along the way and looked to be heading away from his family, it was up to that family to make sure that the boy knew they all loved and needed him endlessly.

The dark thunderclouds above once again threatened to bring down the heavens in torrential rain. They needed to get the boy inside and into his bed before the rain started. The last thing he needed with all his injuries at the moment was to get sick. Hoss thought back a moment and thought that it had been raining a few days before this all started to happen as well. ‘Funny how history had a way of playing on your memory, wasn’t it,’ he thought to himself.

“Take it easy, Adam,” Ben said, knowing that his eldest son was already aware of Joe’s injuries.   “We have to check that those stitches in his side are still in place when we get him settled upstairs.  Heaven knew what that rough road had done to exasperate the pain and agony his son felt.

Ben managed to move the still sleeping Joe into a half-sitting position so that Adam could wrap his strong arms around the fragile boy and lift him out of the wagon. Ben could feel a little warmth emanating through the cotton shirt that Joe wore over the top of the heavy padding and bandages around his chest.

A few spits of rain began to fall just as Adam made it to the porch with Joe nestled in his strong arms. The boy had lost so much weight from injury and stress over the last few weeks that he barely weighed anything, his brother noted with dismay. Ben picked up the tails of the blankets from behind Adam and followed his eldest son, as he carried Joe into the homestead.

Adam had made sure that Joe’s room was already warm enough before the wagon had pulled up outside. He walked into the house and climbed the staircase carrying his precious burden that failed to make a single sound.

Adam laid his unconscious brother on the clean sheets, and made sure that he was resting comfortably on the pillows while his father started to take off his shoes and socks.

Hoss had volunteered to put the horses and the wagon away, but both Adam and Ben knew that it was eating the middle Cartwright up inside to see his younger brother like this. It went against the very grain of things in Hoss’s eyes that this had happened to his brother. He hated the men who had done this to Joe. He hated the Judge who had put the boy through so much humiliation in front of everyone. He hated the justice system that put it’s sole trust in the opinions of a few witnesses.  He hated himself for being so angry.

Inside, Joe had not awoken as such, but he seemed to be having a battle against unseen demons again. The demons had probably been created from the memories of the real monsters that had stalked him and then caused him so much hurt and pain. Suffering and fear that he had hidden from his family. A deep gnawing fear that bit into the boy’s very soul and stole his spirit with it.

Ben sat on the edge of the bed, forgetting all about undressing the boy. For now, the only real important thing was to let the boy know that his family was right here with him and that he was loved.

Ben spoke softly to the boy, reminding him of how much his family had missed him and how proud they had been of him over the last few days. While Ben talked, Adam went about finishing the task of undressing the boy from his good clothes that he had worn to court. The jacket had been left back at Doc Martin’s due to the damage caused to it. Ben had declared the garment beyond repair or salvage and could no longer bear to look upon it and see it stained with his youngest son’s blood.

Adam unbuttoned Joe’s trousers once the boots were removed, and had to keep his own anger in check as he saw the bruises and scratches that marred the boy’s pale flesh. The trousers had been a little stubborn at first due to the thick bandages still adorning the boy’s left shin.  The bandages would remain on for at least another month or two, Doc Martin informed them, before it could be removed and Joe be allowed to put full weight back on that leg.

Hoss had returned to the house, and now came into the bedroom, carrying the other reminders of Joe’s injuries. He propped the two wooden crutches up against the wall in the far corner of the room. It was doubtful that the boy would be leaving his bed anytime soon in the next few days.

The crutches told the story that Joe needed more than his family’s love and caring at the moment just to stand. The boy had stumbled a number of times while trying to manoeuvre back and forth from the witness stand. To Hoss and the rest of the family they only seemed to confirm their fears about how badly Little Joe had been hurt.

Joe was sleeping soundly upstairs and was probably due to stay that way for several more hours to come. After Adam had managed to get one of Ben’s shirts over the boy’s head and bandages, they tucked the blankets in around the boy. Adam and Hoss had bid their younger brother good-night and left their father to a more private time alone with his son.

Ben had continued to talk soothing words to his son as he slept. He caressed his face, then bent down and gently kissed the boy on his bruised cheek before leaving the room.

About an hour after the Cartwright’s had returned home the three eldest of them now sat downstairs in the living room. All three were lost in their own thoughts about the events that had taken place over the last month.

Ben’s mind started to take him back to a time about a month ago when everything seemed to be going fine. If only he could go back there now.

about a month earlier:

”Come on, Hoss!” an excited Little Joe shouted as he descended the wooden staircase  two steps at a time.

”Joseph, do you need to shout so loud this early in the morning?” Ben Cartwright said in mock annoyance as he watched the eagerness of his  youngest son.   He smiled to himself and hoped that the excitement inside Little Joe remained until the boy himself was an old grey man.  It was this excitement that kept rejuvenating the youth in all of them.  Even Hop Sing seemed to have an extra hop in his step these days just to keep up with the youngest member of the family.

”I wish you were this eager to get out of bed on the mornings I try and wake you up for school, short shanks,” Hoss said, as he calmly walked down the stairs whilst putting on his vest.

“School ain’t as exciting as this, Hoss,” Joe explained as he sat down at the table to join the rest of the family for breakfast.

”Are you sure that you have packed all you will need, Joseph?” Ben now asked, wanting to make sure that the two brothers had all the essentials needed with them for their expedition.   This was the first hunting trip that Joe was going on without his father, and therefore Ben was just that little bit more nervous.  He knew he could trust Hoss better than most people, but that security didn’t stop him worrying.

“Yeah, Pa,” Joe answered in an exasperated tone.  He knew that his father was worried about him and Hoss going off hunting on their own without their father or Adam to supervise.  He rolled his eyes a little at the over-caring he was getting.   “I’ve got three changes of clothes.  Hoss has already loaded all of the supplies including my rifle and the fishing poles,” he replied.

“And that’s another thing, young man,” Ben said, as he caught the tone in his son’s voice.  “You are only to use that rifle when Hoss is watching you and instructing you, is that understood?” he asked sternly.   Although Ben had bought the rifle himself about a year ago now, he didn’t like the idea of a young inexperienced person having full use of a deadly weapon.   Joe was sensible to a fault, but it was that impulsive nature and the frequent mistake to act first and ask questions later that made Ben more afraid than most father’s with their young sons and guns.

Over the past twelve months, under Ben’s and Adam’s careful guidance, the boy had shown a genuine aptitude at handling a rifle.  Ben had watched the boy shoot at targets more than 50 metres away and get a result that would make any adult proud.

Ben had wondered whether Joe’s left-handedness would prove an obstacle at first but after only a few brief practice sessions, it had become obvious that the fact that Joe used his left hand was more of an advantage than a disadvantage.

”Come here, Joseph, please?” Ben asked, as he sat down on the settee and indicated to his youngest son to join him.  “There are just a few things that I want you remember before you leave.”

Little Joe made a face as he knew what was about to come.  “Aw Pa, I already know what your going to say before you say it,” he said in an over exaggerated voice.  “Joseph, don’t ride too fast.  Joseph, listen to what your brother tells you.  Joseph, don’t wander off alone.  Joseph,……….”

“Joseph, don’t take that attitude with me,” Ben said in the same type of voice that his son had used. “Or you won’t be going anywhere at all, young man,” Ben said sternly without injecting too much anger into the words and put a dampener on the morning before it even began.

“I want you to have a good time and enjoy yourself, Little Joe, but I also want you to do as your brother Hoss asks and keep safe during your trip,” Ben said in a gentler voice.  “Don’t be in a rush to do anything. You have plenty of time.  Make sure you both come back in one piece and safe and sound.”

”I promise I will behave myself, Pa,” Joe replied.  “and have a good time with Hoss as well.”   Joe then raced off the settee and rechecked that he had everything that he wanted to take with him.   Whilst he was out with Cochise and made sure everything was tied on properly, Ben had a little heart to heart chat with Hoss as well as to what he expected of him and Little Joe this weekend.

“Everything should be fine, Pa,” Hoss said, trying to reassure his father that he would bring his youngest son back to him safe and sound.   “Its only two days out and only one night at that,  we should be back by about mid-afternoon on Sunday if everything goes smoothly enough.”

“Where are you planning to take your younger brother on this hunting expedition, Hoss?” Adam now asked.   He asked the question for two reasons.  One, for curiosity sake and the regret that he wasn’t joining his brother’s in a nice couple of days off from work on the ranch.

Two, whilst he had no qualms about Hoss’s ability to handle most situations that might arise whilst they were out there alone, Adam was also only too well accustomed to his youngest brother’s whimsical nature and his often bad misjudgement about things.

Joe was a good kid most of the time, but he had the quirky ability to wrap almost anybody to his advantage and this was even more so for his brother Hoss.  Adam just secretly hoped that his larger brother would be able to see past the large emerald green puppy dog eyes and the irresistible smile that the kid flashed when he wanted to get his own way.  Only time would tell if he will see past that, Adam told himself.

“Probably as far as ‘Pine Valley’, Adam,” Hoss answered.   “Its not totally off the Ponderosa, but far enough away for Joe to enjoy the scenery and camp underneath the tall trees up there.  We can camp near one of the small streams up there and catch some small fish for supper if no other game is seen beforehand.”

Ben and Adam were both secretly pleased with Hoss’s choice of venue and knew that Hoss was right.  Although “Pine Valley” was in one of the far corners of the Ponderosa lands, it was more than half a day’s ride away and definitely far enough away to make a camping trip out of the expedition.

”Come on, Hoss, or it will be dark before we even get there,” Joe shouted from the front porch as he tried to hurry his brother along.   Joe then mounted Cochise and held out the reins to Chubb for Hoss.   He grinned back at his father and other brother as they watched from the front doorway and then gave them a quick enthusiastic wave before nudging Cochise forward.

Ben watched the two riders until he could no longer see them.  Many thoughts raced through his mind as he was reminded that this was Joe’s first hunting trip without him alongside.    He kept telling himself that everything would be fine, but deep down inside he couldn’t wait until Sunday afternoon again when he saw them arrive safely back in the yard at the house.