Summary: After a period of adjustment with Adam’s return from school, life has settled nicely for the Cartwrights … until a new storm cloud seems to be threatening Hoss’ usually good mood and ability to work. While refusing to interfere or pry, Adam does accept his father’s request to allow Hoss, if he’s willing, to talk about what’s bothering him while the two of them make a delivery. Adam discovers the cause of Hoss’ distraction, but also finds his brother’s longing to know more about the time Adam and Ben passed through a town in Illinois and met a beautiful young shopkeeper.

Rating: G

Word Count: 12553

 

Is It Love

Ben looked up from his coffee when he heard voices at the top of the stairs, and smiled when Little Joe began bouncing down the steps in front of his oldest brother. He couldn’t hear the conversation but it seemed cordial, with both sons chuckling.

His smile arose from genuine relief over the strengthening relationship between these two following the unsettling storm cloud of animosity that had hovered over them for a time after Adam had returned from college. Little Joe, who at age 12, felt he had fully grown up in his brother’s absence, summarily rejected any suggestions or discipline offered by the newly returned member of the family. What the boy had forgotten was Adam’s hand in helping to raise him prior to going away to school, and especially his comforting care in the aftermath of Marie’s death. He’d also forgotten that this brother had postponed his departure by a year back then to keep the family from experiencing a second loss so close to the first.

The smile turned into a grin as Ben thought further about his youngest. Joe’s current attitude wasn’t limited to Adam. The youngster also resented guidance from his father, the hands who directed his ranch work, Miss Jones at the new school in town and Hop Sing.

The condition was viewed with tenderness by the father who understood his youngest son’s wildly independent spirit. That didn’t mean he allowed Joe’s positions to go unchallenged, and liberally used what his sons had coined their father’s “necessary” reaction to their infractions. This included a stare-down of the culprit in question and vocal volume that could rattle glassware. They all knew that when their pa was that angry, it brought with it the demand for instant repentance, followed by corrective measures as were “necessary” to make sure the behavior wasn’t repeated. But they also knew there were gradients to his response and not every lapse of reasoning on their part engaged the full weight of his disciplinary arsenal. They respected his authority because they trusted that he was ultimately fair.

Luckily his sons were far enough apart in age that he only experienced this teenaged, headstrong right-of-passage every six years. However, Adam and Hoss had in no way prepared him for Little Joe. While Adam’s infractions were infrequent, his eyerolls over the outcome were legendary, getting him into more trouble for his reaction than for the actual deed. And there’d been no issues with Hoss. He’d gotten himself into trouble, but his easy-going personality allowed him to take most things, including punishment, in stride.

For now, Ben intended to enjoy this familial period of grace that he’d longed for since they’d become a family of four again. As the boys continued down the steps, he changed his focus to his 24-year-old. Adam had been back for several tumultuous months: the upheaval during the first couple of that period resting squarely on Ben’s shoulders. He brought his cup to his lips for a sip of coffee to disguise the grimace produced by the memories of his own adjustment to having said goodbye to a teenager five years earlier, and welcoming home a young man who’d proven his intellect in school while looking to prove that his education and time away had been worth the investment.

The differences between father and son had laid the base course of a wall, between them, torn down only when they’d both finally found a way to listen and move forward.¹  Those issues had barely settled like dust on a table when Adam had drifted into an emotional pit, leaving those around him stymied by his change in nature. Ben, Hoss and Joe had soon realized the dark moods corresponded to days when mail arrived. Being a wise father who knew this particular son wouldn’t disclose the cause of his disquiet, Ben confronted the behaviors, honestly explaining how Adam’s actions were being perceived by those he lived and worked with. He followed this up by sending him on a cattle drive with instructions to work things out or face the crew’s mutiny.² He’d returned a different man, with the admission that not hearing from a particular “friend” from Boston had caused the surliness. Ben suspected he hadn’t completely recovered from this friend’s dismissal, but it no longer influenced his behavior.

He sat back awaiting Joe and Adam’s arrival at the table. With Joe’s rebellion in ebb, and father and son adjusting to their changing roles, life on the Ponderosa had taken on a melodic hum.

However, the absence of his middle son on the stairway, reminded him of a new dissonant chord upsetting that melody of late.

“Where’s Hoss?” Ben asked when the two took their chairs.

“I heard him in his room, Pa, and knocked to say we were heading down. He didn’t answer,” Adam reported while filling his cup from the enameled pewter coffee pot. He looked towards the steps to make sure Hoss wasn’t on his way before leaning in. “Is something going on with him, Pa? He’s distracted more than usual; quieter by his standards, and he’s usually the first one to the breakfast table, not the last.”

Ben nodded, and then shrugged. “I’ve noticed it, but have no clue what’s behind it.”

“He’s getting sort’a mean if anyone mentions it, Pa,” Joe said earnestly. “He told me to get lost yesterday when I asked why he was so slow cleanin’ the barn.” The boy laughed. “He’s acting just like he did that time he was sweet on Sally Forsythe and she started seeing Jake Merlin.”

“You think that’s what it is, Pa? Even the men complained that he snapped at them yesterday when they called him out for daydreaming.” Adam gave his father a smirking grin. “I kind of recall you telling me I had to get past what was bothering me a while back. So … how are you going to handle this?”

Ben’s head tipped as he listened for the sounds of footsteps above before he smiled at is eldest. “I do have something in mind. You’re taking supplies to the hands watching cattle in the last good pasture grass later this morning.”

“And …” Adam encouraged when his father faltered.

“And I want you to take Hoss along. He might talk to you easier than to me, especially if it’s about a young lady.”

Adam sat up straight, nearly tipping his cup when he set it off kilter on the saucer. He eyed his father suspiciously and gave him a half-lipped, incredulous snarl. “That is a conversation you need to have with him, Pa. I can’t figure out what to do about women for myself, much less for anyone else.”

“I’m not saying you need to hold an inquisition or give advice. Just listen. We might be completely wrong about what’s going on. You were gone when he went through that romantic disappointment Little Joe mentioned. I did speak to him then when his behavior became too churlish to ignore, and asked why he hadn’t come to me if he had questions about courting a girl.” Ben’s cheeks turned rosy. “He told me he feared that if I got wind of him having feelings for a girl, I’d start looking for signs of marriage and grandchildren, and he wasn’t ready for that.”

The sip of coffee Adam had taken, nearly flew from his mouth with his father’s admission. But in drawing a breath as he’d laughed, the remaining brew drew into his windpipe. The coughing and laughing went on for an agonized minute before he could speak again. “All right, Pa. I’ll keep an open ear, but if he tells me anything important; I’m handing it over to you.”

Ben reached for Adam’s arm, and said a quiet, “That’ll do,” as the middle son appeared at the head of the stairway.

“What all the laughing about?” he asked mid-yawn while beginning his descent.

“Adam nearly spit coffee in Pa’s face when he choked on it,” Little Joe supplied easily. “You should’a seen Pa’s reaction!”

Hoss stopped to consider the information before starting down again. “Pa’s just lucky Adam didn’t have a mouthful of eggs or oatmeal stead of coffee.”

“Indeed, I am,” Ben agreed, accepting his youngest son’s fabrication with gratitude, along with a good deal of concern over how many times this son had come up with an equally convincing falsehood his father had accepted as truth.

Two

“Ain’t it kind’a strange that Pa sent both of us to deliver these supplies?” Hoss mentioned as he removed his hat to scratch his head. “He never said nothin’ about me going too when you volunteered.”

“He rethought it, and decided you should come to watch for fence damage following that storm the other night,” Adam replied while leading the team around a deep rut filled with water. “I can’t keep this wagon on the road and do that too.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot that already.”

Adam chuckled. “You’ve been forgetting a lot of stuff lately. But from here on, keep a good eye. There will be posts that have sunk or tipped during that washout rain.” He withdrew a small pad of paper and pencil from his shirt pocket and handed them to his brother. “You’ll never remember where they are, so write down the nearest mile mark when you see a problem. Pa said the hands are meeting us halfway to exchange their empty wagon for our full one. I don’t want them waiting for us, so we’ll make as many repairs as we can before losing daylight on the way back, and then use your list to come back out tomorrow.”

The two brothers rode in silence with Adam continuing to avoid the worst of the water-filled holes. Once on a smoother section of road, he glanced over and saw Hoss staring straight ahead instead of observing the fence line. Pulling the wagon to a stop, he nudged his brother and said pointedly, “Hoss! Look to your right. There’s a three-post failure where the water undermined the holes. We just passed marker 2, so write that down.”

The tall young man faced his brother sheepishly. “Sorry, Adam. I just can’t keep my mind on much lately. Pa should’a sent Little Joe.”

“Little Joe doesn’t have the strength to dig post holes all day.” Adam sighed. “We’ll make a deal. If you pay attention until we meet up with the guys, we’ll take a break and you can tell me what’s on your mind.” He turned away to grimace, before finishing his offer with a good dose of hope in his tone, “That’s only if you want to.”

***

“Send a rider to the house if you run short of anything else,” Adam told Stuart, one of their long-time ranch hands. “Hop Sing can bring things when he comes out to fix a meal on Thursday.” The two men shook hands. “Is there anything you’d like me to tell Pa?”

“Let him know the herd has settled in nicely and we’ve only had to run after a few so far. The grass is good so we’ll keep them up high for a week or two and then head ‘em over to winter pasture.” Stuart’s face screwed up in thought. “Ask Hop Sing to toss extra blankets and long-johns in the cook wagon. It’s getting’ chilly now.” He nodded towards Hoss leaning against the empty wagon and lowered his voice. “What’s up with that brother of yours? He sick or something? Most times he’d be over here tellin’ some tall tale or joking around.”

“He’s having a reflective day, I guess.”

Stuart’s lips pulled left. “What kind of day?”

“Lost in his own thoughts,” Adam chuckled and gave the older hand a soft jab in the arm. “And don’t ask me what kind of thoughts, because I don’t know.” Adam waited for Stuart to climb to the driver’s seat, and then gave the nearest draft horse a slap to the rump. “See you in a couple weeks. I didn’t bring extra blankets, but the men might appreciate the chill-chasing bottles of whiskey I snuck in with the flour and cornmeal.”

Hoss had remained with the exchanged wagon after he’d moved the tools they’d brought for fence repairs, and looked at Adam with a confused expression when he joined him. “Is Stu gone already?”

“He pulled out a few minutes ago. C’mon,” he said as he pulled himself to the driver’s seat. “We best get to those repairs.”

Three

One mighty heave from Hoss brought the crooked fence post out of the muck while Adam shoveled out the worst of the mud and added drier soil to reset it. Despite a good amount of time passing, the brothers had only completed repairs on the downed fence nearest to where they’d exchanged wagons.

“Okay, start talking,” Adam commanded after circling the now straight post to tamp down the new dirt. “You’ve already knocked me in the head resetting a fence rail, nearly took my toes off with the shovel, and backed into me so hard I fell over in the mud. It’s not even lunchtime. If you keep this up, I’ll be maimed or dead by the end of the day.”

“Sorry ‘bout that Adam,” Hoss replied penitently, hanging his head to his chest. “But I’m glad I’m with you, because what’s got my head to whirlin’ sort of involves you.”

Adam drew back and gave his brother a once over. “How can it involve me? I just got back from that long cattle drive to San Francisco, and don’t recall having words with you before I left or since I returned.” When Hoss said nothing, he looked up, noting the sun’s position. “It’s about noon. Let’s have lunch and talk while we eat.”

After they polished off most of a chicken, a big bowl of potato salad, fresh-baked bread and a tin of cookies, Adam began stowing the dirty dishes and utensils while Hoss stretched back onto his elbows in the wagon bed and sighed.

“What’s it like to be in love?” He asked.

The younger brother’s question stalled Adam’s cleanup for a moment, but he recovered his momentum as he thought it through. The query was too broad to have a simple answer, so he decided to narrow down what might be driving it. Hoss had just turned 17, so he was certainly old enough to be in love. Many of the kids they’d grown up with when families had begun settling nearby had married soon after reaching their mid-teens.

But Ben Cartwright did not push his boys to the altar. He encouraged them to marry only when they found a love to ensure a happy life and home.

Adam had felt the drive to get a good education before even considering marriage. The years prior to leaving for Boston had been filled with study and preparation, and he’d been resolved that once in school, he couldn’t allow the distraction of a romantic interest. Despite this, he’d met a young woman in Boston and had fallen in love. Luckily, they’d only been able to see one another on weekends when they’d both been free to visit their relatives: Adam’s grandfather, and Melinda’s aunt who’d lived next to Abel Stoddard. They’d both had goals to complete when he’d graduated, precluding marriage then, but they’d vowed to keep in touch and reunite in a few years when those goals had been fulfilled.

Their promises hadn’t withstood the distance and separation, and he’d never heard from her after leaving Boston. The experience had left him doubting that he had actually been “in love,” yet he’d resolved that it had been real. Something had happened he couldn’t account for, so for now he carried the memory of her in his heart. He certainly remembered how that love had made him feel, and despite his disappointment that things had gone wrong, he resolved that he wouldn’t slip into the trap of marrying as merely a step taken towards adulthood. He would wait until he felt that same sense of being whole with someone again.

“Is there a particular girl you’re developing feelings for?” he asked, once his own memories faded from his mind.

“There’s a gal all right, but I’m not sure how I feel about her, and that’s the problem.”

Trying to keep Hoss from seeing any reaction, he leaned over to picnic basket to secure the top as his eyebrows rose while sighing quietly. “I’m sorry I haven’t paid more attention, but I haven’t a clue who you’ve been seeing.”

“It’s Jenny Mason, from that family what settled just outside of the town last year. You seen her at your comin’ home party.” Hoss’ face changed from his scowl to a toothy smile. “She’s got golden hair, and’s as tiny as a field mouse. We really only see each other when there’s a party we’re all invited to or when a preacher comes through and we all go to church.” He blushed. “She told me at your party that it would be all right if I stop by their house, so I sometimes go by their place when Pa sends me to town. But I never stay longer than to just say hi and bye.”

“That smile on your face proves you like her. Are you thinking you’d like to take this from running into her now and then and brief stops, to courting her?”

“That’s just it, Adam!” The answer was followed by a long, heavy sigh and an audible swallow. “I like things like they are for now. It’s been fun getting’ to know her a little bit at a time. But the other day, she talked about us gettin’ married—I mean like it was a done deal or I’d already asked her.”

Adam’s brows drew together. “Have you given her an indication you saw this as … um … the resulting outcome?”

Hoss’ head moved side-to-side. “I sure didn’t. We’re always around other people when we see each other, and we ain’t so much as held hands or done nothin’ more than casual talk about the weather. I’ve only seen her company manners, and don’t know how she feels about nothin’ includin’ me until the other day when she said sort of said we was engaged. I’m confused, Adam.”

“From what you’ve said, I think you’d like to know her better, but you’d need to let this develop a lot more before you’d be anywhere near a proposal?”

“Exactly! Shouldn’t I feel that I can’t live without her sort of thing if I loved her … you know … be imaginin’ a house of my own with a wife and family anytime she comes to mind?”

Securing the basket to the sideboards with twine, he leaned against the open gate and looked up at his brother. “Love takes different forms, Hoss. It doesn’t have to be the wide-eyed longing for home and hearth that happens in a romance novel. Sometimes it takes years for feelings to develop and deepen. Other times it happens fast and powerful as a lightning strike or it might be feel more like a spring breeze blowing all your fears and cares away.”

“What you just said sounded really nice, but I got no idea what it meant.”

The older brother laughed. “Sure you do. Just think about Pa. He loved my mother for years, but waited to marry until he’d proved he could take care of her properly. But with Marie, he was struck immediately by her fiery personality, and knew they would make life better for each other. You remember how close Pa and Marie were: how good she was to us and how different Pa was because of her.” A sheepish grin enveloped Adam’s features as he added, “It might have taken me a little longer to accept her kindness, but I always respected her and saw the difference she made.”

Hoss nodded and smiled. “I do remember all that.” The smile drooped to a forlorn frown. “From the little Pa talks about our mamas, it seems like yours was smart like you; tiny and sort a delicate like a flower, but fierce enough to stand up to one a them East Coast hurricanes I done read about. And Marie was fiery like you said, but like a warming fire, not an out’a control blaze that burns everything around it to ashes. When she and Pa looked at each other I always felt safe … you know … like everything was gonna be fine.”

“You got that just perfect, Hoss.”

“So what made Pa marry my mama, Adam?” Hoss asked while sitting up straight.  “One time he said Mama sort of chased him til he caught her.” After another long sigh, he said. “You done told me ‘about’ my mama before, Adam. But could you tell me what you saw back then and how you felt when you was with her … I mean way back at the beginning?”

Adam’s first inclination was to brush off Hoss’ question; declare a return to work and suggest he have this conversation with their father. Yet he was uniquely aware of what, and why, Hoss was asking this. Their father had always “described” their mothers to them. They were kind, beautiful, gentle, caring, adding that their sons were “much like them.”  Adam had followed this same script in talking about Inger with Hoss. But with Marie, they’d seen how she’d embodied the wonderful things they remembered about her character. It had left Adam wanting to know more about his mother than his father seemed able to relate. As he’d begun to plan for college, he’d also decided that he’d return to Boston in hopes of getting an education regarding Elizabeth Stoddard as well.

The last few years with his grandfather had accomplished that. Abel hadn’t gotten rid of his daughter’s things, allowing Adam to feel her presence in that house. He hadn’t stayed in his mother’s room where he’d been born, but he’d gone in there whenever he’d wanted to “feel closer” to her. He’d touched the books she’d read, nearly feeling the warmth of her fingers on the pages. It didn’t stop at her doorway though. The artwork and nick-knacks she’d favored graced the walls and shelves throughout the house. His bed was covered with a quilt she’d sewn, and on chilly evenings spent talking to his grandfather in the parlor, he’d wrapped himself in an afghan she’d crocheted.

Even bottles of the perfume she’d used were on her dresser, still as sweet as they’d been on the day Elizabeth Stoddard Cartwright had passed from the earth. Beyond the physical reminders, Abel readily shared stories of his daughter that emphasized both her serious and funny sides. Added to that, he’d met friends of his mother who’d painted a clear picture of the girl and woman they’d known.

The empty vessel in his heart regarding his mother had filled. It didn’t surprise him that Hoss fought the same emptiness. He didn’t have as much to offer Hoss as he’d found in Boston, and even if the young man would set out on a pilgrimage to find out more, the truth was that they’d lost track of Inger’s brother Gunner who’d set out on his own adventure at the same time they’d left for Missouri.  A journey might show Hoss where his mother was buried at Ash Hollow, but there’d be few in the Sangamon Valley who’d remember the lovely shopkeeper.

Adam looked squarely at his dilemma. He was loathe to speak of feelings, preferring the exactness of science and logic. Yet he realized that he was the only one who could offer his brother a clearer view of Inger Borgstrom from the perspective Hoss needed.

Lofting himself onto the wagon bed too, he backed against the sideboards facing the young man. “I was only 5, so my memories are heavily coated with cobwebs.”

“That’s fine, Adam. I … I just get to wondering sometimes how she acted, not what she was ‘like’.”

“All right.” Adam took a deep breath. “A little background is necessary. After more than four years of saving up and waiting for me to get older after we left Boston, Pa declared we were ready to head across the Mississippi and join a wagon train. We stayed in Ohio with Uncle John that last winter, heading west across Illinois come spring.”

Another deep breath settled the scenes flashing through his thoughts of what had come next. “You need to know that when Pa and I pulled into that crossroads town in the Sangamon Valley, he was empty as a man could be. He never let me know how bad things were, but I’d gotten old enough to pick up on some of it.”

“Why’d he feel that way?” Hoss asked.

“I have to guess a little at this, because I was far too young to realize it back then, and I’ve pulled it all together from what I’ve learned in the intervening years. As a widower, there’d have been no expectation that Pa keep me with him, especially not travelling so far for a fresh start. Most thought he’d leave me with Abel or another relative while he made the trip and then send for me once he was settled. But Pa wanted me with him to experience all of that trek.”

“I heard Pa say that many times. You don’t recall much from them first years?”

“Bits and pieces. I believe his intent was to head straight over to Missouri from Boston, but he realized quickly it would have been a mistake with a baby or toddler to watch over, and he needed to earn money to keep us going without using the nest egg he’d set aside for the passage west. I remember boarding houses and one job he had in particular, but mostly I just remember always being together. What I came to know was that Pa’s intention for taking me along brought one of three reactions. Some admired him for his devotion both to me and his dream. These were usually the ladies who ran the boarding houses where we lived, and they were so good to us. The next reaction were the behind-the-back whisperers who judged him to be a bad father, risking my life in taking me along so I’d see him as some heroic figure. But the absolute worst were those who’d shake their heads in pity at the ‘poor man’ trying to raise a child on his own while so deluded as to think he could accomplish his dream. The worst part of the judgment and pity was that those folks never took the time to see what a good job he was doing.”

Hoss’ cheek rose in a knowing grimace. “We all know how much Pa hates for someone to pity or judge us. He’s always said there ain’t no reason for it, cuz we always done the best we could.”

“That’s it exactly. But this explains what happened when he met your mother. We’d been traveling some weeks through foul weather and had lost one of our horses when it slipped in some mud and hurt its leg. Spring had started nice enough in Ohio, but it had turned unendingly rainy, and this part I remember clearly.” Adam shivered involuntarily. “Everything was wet. We rode in wet clothes; slept under covers that felt damp and we often couldn’t find dry wood for fires so we lived on jerky and bread so moldy, we could barely find any parts that weren’t blue and hairy. It followed that I’d get sick. The fever and cough wouldn’t go away, and Pa knew I had to bed down somewhere dry and warm or I would get worse. He’d heard there was a small town ahead and promised to stop there as long as he could find a job. He did, and then used his last few coins to buy bread at the general store there and get a room.”

“That was Mama’s store.”

“It sure was. What she saw on the outside was a man needing a bath, clean clothes and a shave, and when I came inside because I’d started feeling worse, she saw a man needing all those things who also had a hungry, sick child. She didn’t turn her nose up at us; she came to check my forehead and look at my throat, and prescribed something she had to help with the fever. I can still feel her warm, soft hand on my forehead and cheek when I remember that day, and I was instantly smitten.  Pa, on the other hand …”

“He thought she was one a them who pitied you because she judged him?”

“I believe so. This was to be our final push to the wagon trains in St. Joe, and yet it was harder than any leg of the trip before this. Pa had me for company, but I also reminded him of someone he’d loved and lost. And maybe he was just sick of not having enough money and always facing something else to contend with. He was tired from driving through mud all day and then staying up half the night worried about me being sick. By the time we got to that town, he seemed almost hard with it all.”

“What do you mean by Pa bein’ hard?”

“He didn’t smile. He was grumpy and short with me. And when he came to the wagon with the news of his job, he looked like he’d been in a fight. He needed a warm bed and a good night’s rest as much as I did, but after getting me settled, he went to work.”

“Did Mama really pity him?” Hoss asked.

“I’m betting her cut of bread and ladle of milk were generous for what Pa could pay. Then she offered the medicine for free, and Pa snapped at her about paying his own way.” Adam leaned forward to make sure Hoss was looking directly at him. “I didn’t understand any of this back when it happened. Kids don’t consider motive or put labels on kindness; they just accept it.”

Adam took a minute to consider where to go next. “I wasn’t much older when I truly began to sense those judgments directed towards both me and Pa. But Pa had been experiencing it for nearly five years by that time, and he’d built high walls to handle those sideways glances; the judgmental tsks and then the pity that followed. That day, the last thing he wanted from a beautiful blonde shopkeeper was charity or pity. But Pa judged Inger too, and he was dead wrong. She was genuinely kind, and saw more than a disheveled man. Your mother saw into people’s hearts, Hoss, and she saw Pa’s pain, but also his love for me. She liked what she saw, and was interested in us. The amazing thing was that she didn’t let his grouching stop her.”

“How soon did Pa start liking Ma?”

The older brother chuckled. “It took a little before he admitted it to himself. I was in bed for a couple days, so Inger brought more medicine, and stayed with me for a while after she closed her shop for the day and Pa was still at work. We played games that I always won until I figured out that she was letting me win. She read me books from her store, or let me read them to her, telling me I was so smart, and she’d sing until I drifted to sleep. Pa walked in when she was there and we were listening to my mother’s music box. It upset him, but your mother handled him so kindly, and asked him to supper.”

“Things musta changed then.”

“They did. She invited both of us on a picnic the following Sunday.” Adam looked upwards and became quiet. “That was one of the happiest days I ever spent. And by the time the picnic ended, I knew Pa liked Mimi a lot. “

“I forgot you called her that.”

A nod. “It was a Swedish term for Mama. After the picnic, Pa and I both went to the Borgstrom house for dinners.” A sly smile passed to his middle brother. “Mimi was a good cook, and her favorite things to make are your favorite things to eat. There’s got to be some heavenly connection in that.”

“Chicken and dumplins?” Hoss asked.

“She made the best.”

How ‘bout sweet taters and roast pork with applesauce?”

“Yup. And the best pie ever.  Pa said her secret ingredient was love.”

His brother’s description of his mother’s cooking made Hoss smile broadly. “Aint that just somethin’. I wish I could’a tasted it.” The smile became a look of longing. “What was it like goin’ to Mama’s house for dinner, Adam?”

“Pa always made sure I washed up and put on my best set of clothes, and when I walked through the door of the Borgstrom house, your mother would lift me up, twirl me around in a circle, and tell me how glad she was to see me. I wasn’t a big kid, but it took some mighty effort to do that. Then she’d take my hand and help me climb onto the big book she’d put on my chair so I could sit higher. It was a dictionary, and she’d always have a word picked out from it that I had to learn before she’d give me my supper.”

Adam laughed when Hoss gave him a sour look. “I can see that wouldn’t have appealed to you, but I liked it. After Pa and Inger married, she took over my lessons. I’d always been curious about things and caught on easily, but with Inger as my teacher, seasoning each lesson with the same kindness as her cooking, I grew to love learning.”

“I’m glad Mama had somethin’ to do with you bein’ so smart. So … what happened next?”

“She’d tuck a napkin under my chin and fill my plate with a reasonable amount of food so I could have dessert. I could remember eating like that in some boarding houses and at Uncle John’s place, but my most recent memories of food came from Pa’s efforts. He was not a good cook.”

Hoss laughed hard. “Did he ever cook a meal that wasn’t burned?”

“Not so’s I recall.”

“What happened after supper?”

“I’d play outside while she and Pa cleaned up and they either sat on the porch steps or we’d all take a walk together. When it got dark, Inger tucked me in on the sofa, with a kiss for sweet dreams. Pa would carry me back to the boarding house later, asleep on his shoulder.”

“How long did that go on? I always thought Pa married Mama fast.”

“It seemed a long time to me then, but was probably only a week or two before they did get married. Pa worked with her at the store until Uncle Gunner sold it, and we packed up for Missouri. I sort of recall something bad happening around that time too. But all I remember is that Uncle Gunner got hurt and Pa and Mimi argued. It scared me, but she said not to worry.”

“This is the first time you ever said anything about this!” Hoss exclaimed as his eyes flew wide open. “What happened?”

“I honestly don’t know, Hoss. It just came back to me as I was talking. I don’t think Uncle Gunner liked that his sister wanted to marry Pa, but I don’t know why. Your mama was sad that night, and Pa went to find Gunner, but then there was a doctor and a constable and loud words exchanged and Pa left while Mimi looked ready to cry.”

“Ya don’t remember nothing more than that?”

“Sorry, Hoss. I didn’t even remember that much until a few minutes ago. But it ended quickly when your uncle got better and must have told what had happened. After that he liked Pa and was happy for his sister.”

“I’m asking so many questions, but thank you for answerin’ me and not makin’ me feel dumb fer wantin’ to know. Here’s another one; do you think we could talk to Pa about what happened?”

Adam shook his head. “You know his feelings about this sort of thing. He says that bringing up past bad memories does no one any good. We are only to learn from what happened, but not relive it.”

“How do ya know that for sure? Have you ever tried askin’ him?”

“Not about this ….” Adam grinned and rolled his eyes. “Because I only just remembered it. But when I was in Boston, I got an inkling that there had been trouble between Pa and Abel around the time I was born. One of his old crew we’d met at a pub got more talkative with every glass of beer, and brought up something bad Abel had done after losing command of his ship.  Grandfather eyed the guy with a black stare and the subject was dropped. On the way home that night, after Abel had imbibed enough to loosen his judgment along with his tongue, we passed the harbor and saw the Wanderer at anchor. It felt to me like he needed to confess something as he began speaking about how he was ashamed of how he’d behaved towards Pa after the owners of the ship had sacked him only because they’d wanted  a younger man at the helm. I could have encouraged him to say more, but it felt wrong to take advantage of the situation. I changed the subject and he never brought it up again.”

“So, I’m guessing you asked Pa about it since getting’ back?”

“I did. He was proud that I’d not forced Abel to say more, and said that everyone will face dark times when we might respond in ways that are so unlike us. He actually used himself as an illustration of that, pointing out how he pretty much abandoned us for weeks after Marie died, leaving me and you to run the farm and care for Joe. He concluded by saying he wouldn’t want that to define who he was. He did tell me a little more about Grandfather losing his ship to the unscrupulous new owners of the company, and how he’d felt lost at first. But all I needed to know was that Abel faced his missteps squarely and became an even better man, and that’s the man I got to know.”

“I can see him sayin’ that.” Hoss said while nodding. “I s’pose he’d say the same thing about whatever trouble happened with Uncle Gunner too. You know … that it wasn’t what he wanted to remember about them times, and it all worked out for the best.”

“It sure did. I remember that day we left. I was in the back of the wagon, Pa and Mimi up front, and we said goodbye to Uncle Gunner. That’s when he told us that if they had a son, they should call him Hoss like people called him: a big friendly fellow.”

“I wish I could meet Uncle Gunner one day,” Hoss pronounced with a longing expression before shaking his head. “Just one more question, and I’ll stop. What was it like having Mama with you, instead of just you and Pa?”

Adam’s face held the wistful look his brother’s held moments earlier. “It was … nice. No matter how long a day we’d had or how tired she was, Mimi told me bedtime stories and listened to my prayers. Every night after supper she’d …” Adam’s cheeks turned pink as he silenced.

“What’d she do?”

“While Pa tended to the horses, Mimi would sit with me by the fire and wrap her arms around me as we’d talk about the day.”

“Yer sayin’ she snuggled you?” The younger brother laughed. “I can see why yer blushing, Adam. You ain’t never taken well to bein’ snuggled in the years I’ve know’d you.” Hoss sobered instantly when he saw Adam sigh and look away. “I didn’t mean to make fun.” He swallowed hard. “It must’a been hard to lose them times after Mama ….”

“Mimi was naturally gentle and caring. She made me feel safe, and there was something about being around her that made everyone feel happy and want to be better.”

Hoss nodded. “That’s just what I felt with Joe’s mama. Pa was good with us, but she brought a softer side outa everyone.”

Adam allowed the silence to linger a minute to see whether his brother was satisfied. When Hoss remained quiet, he made a final offer. “We can’t do this just yet because Pa would birth a steer if we’d both ask to be gone a few months over the summer. But … one day if you want to, we’ll go to Ash Hollow and visit your mother’s resting place.”

“Did you visit your mama’s grave back in Boston?”

“A few times,” Adam answered truthfully. “The cemetery wasn’t far from Abel’s house, so I passed it often.”

Hoss pursed his lips and squinted. “Did it bother you to go there?”

Suspecting what Hoss was getting at, Adam answered honestly. “I paid my respects, but I was staying in the house where she’d grown up and married Pa. I remembered her being alive there, whereas the cemetery made me remember that she … wasn’t.” He saw Hoss nod his agreement. “Are you saying you’d rather remember your mother alive for now, the way I described my time with her?”

“I think so.”

Hoping that this conversation had found an ending, and that there was work to be done, Adam said, “I recall this conversation starting out with you wondering what it feels like to love someone. Did any of this help with that?”

The younger brother nodded while running his shirt sleeve across his face to capture the dewiness lingering at the corners of his eyes from hearing about his mother. “Seems like love don’t need the perfect situation, does it? It just needs two people who care a lot and trust each other no matter how good or bad life gets.”

“That’s it in a nutshell!” Adam used Hoss’ conclusion to dig deeper. “Tell me more about the disturbing conversation with Jenny.”

Hoss sat up straighter as it was now his turn to remember. “I stopped by Jenny’s house a couple weeks back on her birthday to drop off a bag of candy I’d bought at Cass’ store. She seemed to like that I’d done that, so I asked her to take a walk with me, thinkin’ if we was alone, she’d give me a little thank you kiss.”

“Did you hold her hand on the way or try to kiss her once you were away from the house?”

“Nope. Fact was she kept a good distance between us, even after we sat on a bench by their pond. I had to get going since Pa was waiting for the parts I’d gotten in town, so I finally asked if I could give her a peck on the cheek before goin’.”

Adam hadn’t meant to laugh, but it shot out unbidden as he pictured Hoss’ awkward attempts at a little affection. Hoss’ shyness was legendary, and he felt bad for the guy, especially when these boy-to-man changes had come so easily to him. He’d gotten his first passionate kiss as a young teen, and he hadn’t needed to “ask” for it. His kissing proficiency had grown nicely as there’d always been young ladies willing to participate in a little harmless smooching.

His mind returned to his brother who at 17, had needed to “ask” for a kiss even after giving this girl a gift. “Did she allow that?”

Hoss’ head hung. “Nope. She said she liked me and the present was nice, but she couldn’t kiss me because she couldn’t even think about marryin’ me yet.”

The older brother’s jaw slacked in surprise. “Do they belong to a strict religion that prohibits physical contact before marriage?”

“No. What surprised me was that a while back, before Jenny started talkin’ to me at your party, I saw her holdin’ hands with Mark Fleming and they was headin’ towards that place they call Kissin’ Rock just outside town.” Hoss’ face screwed into a knot. “Maybe she didn’t like him as much as me, and didn’t see him as the marryin’ type.”

This time Adam kept his laugh to a low chuckle. “That makes no sense, Hoss.” The wounded look his comment brought made him soften his tone. “I just mean something’s off. She’s obviously not shy about offering affection to someone else, but then can’t accept a kiss on the cheek from you because you’re not engaged?”

Hoss’ eyebrows rose as he shrugged.

Adam drew a long breath, knowing he had to get to the bottom of this or his brother might become even more shy about approaching a girl he liked. “It’s not wrong to kiss or hold hands with a person you like, Hoss. It’s how you find out whether your feelings can grow past the stage of friendship. As far as you and Jenny; you weren’t asking her to abandon her chastity. It might even be different if you had a reputation for amorous dalliances.”

Hoss laughed as his expression softened and his cheeks turned rosy. “I only done kissed one other gal before. I wrote you about that. Becky was a gal I might have wanted to marry one day, but her family moved on. I wasn’t even aware that Jenny really liked me, until she came up at your party all smilin’, and hangin’ around me. That’s when she said I should stop by if I was passin’.”

“Her invitation implied an interest in seeing you again.” Adam’s cheek rose warily. “But you’re saying that nothing more has happened since my party other than you stopping by her house a couple times when you stayed only a few minutes? She never invited you to come for supper or arranged a picnic for the two of you? And you never took her for a carriage ride or asked her to the ranch while I was gone?”

“Nope.”

“I understand your confusion.” Something from the beginning of this trip began to nudge him for consideration. “What did you mean earlier when you said I played a part in that conversation with her?”

“Oh, yeah.” Hoss leaned forward again. “After Jenny refused to kiss me without bein’ engaged, she got to lookin’ all sad, and said it was even worse because we couldn’t even make our engagement official until her sister was married and there ain’t much chance of that.” He shifted his position on the wagon bed like he’d discovered a burr in the seat of his pants. “Ya see … Claire is some past 20 already, so there aren’t many single men her age in these parts. So, um ….”

Adam sighed. “This is where I come in?”

Chewing his lip, Hoss’ cheeks began turning from pink to crimson. “I didn’t want to say nothing to you about it, but now that you asked …. Jenny thought that since you got along well with Claire at your comin’ home party, maybe I could ask you to start callin’ on her. She figured all you needed was a nudge and you’d come to see what a good wife she’d make, and propose in no time. Once that happened, Jenny and me could do the same.”

“That’s quite the plan,” Adam stated firmly as his cheeks set in stone and his eyes grew dark. “You should have told me or Pa about this right away.”

“I knew if you liked Claire, you’d already be seein’ her. I didn’t say nothin’ hopin’ it was jest one of them gal things she’d forget.” He grimaced when he met his brother’s stern stare-down. “I didn’t stop there after that, but why is it when you don’t want to see someone, ya always do! Pa sent me to town the other day, and there she was in the store. First thing she asked was whether I’d talked to you.” He punched his left fist into his right palm. “Explain to me why gals get to makin’ plans about us without askin’ us first?”

A long clear laugh disturbed the silence as Adam’s mood relaxed “Now that’s a question for the ages, brother!”

“Do you think she’ll let this go if I keep ignorin’ her, Adam, and things can go back to the way they were?”

Adam blew a breath through pursed lips while shaking his head. “This has the markings of manipulation at a higher level.”

“Huh?”

“Jenny’s parents have a problem. One daughter is older, unmarried and getting to the point where she’ll soon be considered too long in the tooth. None of this is her fault. The Masons saw a new entrant into the pool of bachelors when I got back, and since you and Jenny were already friends …”

“I think I get it now,” Hoss said excitedly. “It was easier to get me interested in Jenny, cuz I already liked her some. Then they figgered I’d do whatever it took to get her, includin’ a little matchmaking between you and Claire.” The young man groaned as though punched. “That don’t seem fair to any of us.”

“It’s not, but it’s not as malicious as some parents get. Before I left for school, a girl I knew only as a friend, just like you and Jenny, was forced by her parents to stage a compromising situation with me so her father could ‘catch us’ and force a marriage.² He needed help on the farm and figured it was cheaper to marry his daughters off than hire help.”

Hoss stared open-mouthed. “Geesh. What happened?”

This time Adam blushed. “You know how Pa always lectures us about not doing anything we’ll enjoy for a minute and regret for a lifetime? Well, I’d never done anything but talk to that girl before that day and so when she told me there were kittens in the hayloft if I wanted to see them, I went along. Once there she became very forward, putting urges in my head I’d never had before. But something about the whole thing felt wrong and I pretty much … ran away.” He laughed along with his brother at his admission. “It was a clumsy move, but not one I regret.  She confessed later what she’d been trying to do, and why. It made me ill to think her parents would have ruined my life to get a farmhand.”

“What happened with Jenny don’t seem so bad as that.” Hoss huffed and shook his head. “Still it weren’t right neither for her folks to plan something for us.”

“You’re right, but their plan could never have worked even if you had been smitten by Jenny. They didn’t account for the Cartwrights keeping sound boundaries about what we’d ever ask each other to do.”

The frown on Hoss’ face set deep. “Do you think Jenny was just usin’ me to get to you?”

“Only you can figure that out.”

“So what do I do?”

“Does Jenny have qualities beyond being pretty that attract you to her?”

“She’s nice, but like I said; We ain’t never talked about much of anything important ….”

“Would you like the chance to know her better without any pressure?” Adam asked.

“Maybe. But how?”

“Let’s get back to work.” Adam suggested as he slid to the edge of the wagon and jumped down. “We’ll work our way home, and talk to Pa about it after dinner. This is a scheme that strikes at our family in a way he should know about it. He’ll know what to do.”

 

Four

Ben waited for the last black checker to be jumped in the game between Little Joe and Hoss before rising from his chair to declare, “It’s time for bed, Joseph.”

The youngster eyed his family with a suspicious squint, before glancing back at the clock. “It’s not even eight, Pa. What’s the rush?”

“No rush, son; I just don’t want you to start another game. It’s a school night, so get washed up and make sure all your books and homework are ready to go for the morning. Then you can read in bed.”

“Pa’s right, Joe,” Hoss agreed as he finished putting the checkers in the box and then stowed the game in the credenza. “You didn’t do that last night and had all of searching for your books this morning until you remembered you’d read your assignment outside and stashed the things back in yer saddlebag.”

The boy blushed, but reclaimed his bravado quickly. “I admit that, but I have a suspicion you three want me gone so you can talk behind my back.”

Adam had remained mute, but now raised his eyes from his book page to grin at his youngest brother. “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.”

Joe sighed deeply. “Did you come up with that or get it from one of your books.”

“Shakespeare. Henry VI. But it does apply so well.”

Throwing his hands up, Joe headed towards the kitchen, stopping only to look over his shoulder. “It’s time to hit the privy and get to bed when Adam starts his brainy talk.”

***

Even with declaring acceptance of his fate, it took another 10 minutes before the three older Cartwrights heard Joe’s bedroom door shut.

“Ya know he’s gonna try listenin’ at the door,” Hoss told the others.

Ben considered Hoss’ thought and agreed. “Let’s sit around the table instead of in here,” he suggested as he moved to the dining area. “The ceiling is lower so the sound doesn’t carry.” Bypassing the table, he checked the kitchen and found the pewter pot still warming on the stove, and brought that back with three mugs.

Seeing what his father had brought out, Adam stopped at the sideboard and withdrew a bottle of good whiskey, holding it up. “Flavoring,” he told the others with a grin.

Once settled, Ben wasted no more time. “Adam mentioned you’d like to discuss what’s been bothering you lately, Hoss, and that it involves him as well.”

Hoss sent Adam a sour, pleading look. “I think Older Brother can explain it faster and better’n I can.”

Bearing out his brother’s estimation, Adam had the story clearly laid out in minutes, and posed the question, “What do we do about this, Pa?”

“First off, I’m proud you came to me for advice. I agree that this young lady isn’t acting on her own. In its most innocent from, there could be a pact between sisters where they agreed to help each other towards a common goal. If that was the case, they’d more likely arrange an ‘accidental, but well-planned meeting’ to include all four of you. If it went well, there’d be further meetups until they knew whether Adam would follow through on his own.”

Ben addressed his next words to Hoss. “But this was an ultimatum. Using a card game as an analogy; they’re playing their bluff, hoping you’ll raise the pot with your brother to stay in the game.”

“I like the way you said that, Pa,” Hoss told the group. “So how do I play my hand?”

“It might be best if you’d go there and call them on it by laying your cards on the table. Invite Jenny onto her porch where you’re both in plain sight, and tell her plainly your brother is not a poker chip you can play to keep seeing her.” Ben laughed softly when he saw Hoss’ complexion turn white. “But we all know you’d get so flustered if she started to cry that you’d end up proposing for yourself and Adam.”

The stricken Hoss began to pink up again, “Ain’t that purely the truth!”

“Turning to Adam, Ben asked, “Is there any possibility that you would be interested in seeing the sister?”

“What!?” Adam stood abruptly and walked behind his chair. “Why would you ask that?”

“It was just a question, son. Sit down.”

“She’s certainly pretty, Pa,” Adam said as he sat. “I want a woman who reads and studies regularly; isn’t afraid to have or argue an opinion, and keeps up with current events. That’s not Claire. But it doesn’t mean another man wouldn’t find her interest in gardening, sewing and making a home, exactly what they wanted.”

Ben’s eyebrow rose, taking his cheek along for the ride. “Do either of you know any single men in this area close to Claire’s age?”

“I sure don’t,” Hoss offered. “Maybe it is best if I just stay clear of Jenny and this will all go away.”

Father and eldest son locked eyes for a moment in silent understanding. “The Masons are good people who find themselves unable to solve a problem. But they fired a canon across the bow of the Ponderosa, and I don’t intend to let it go unanswered.”

As his father spoke, Adam remembered something that made him smile. “I’m sure you’ll confront their scheme in a reasonable way, Pa, but there may be a way out of this. There are eligible bachelors around these parts. And one of them spent most of the afternoon of my party talking with Claire after I’d excused myself to mingle with other guests. Every time I looked towards the barn; she was with Clancy while he watched after the horses for our guests.”

“I saw that too!” Hoss said excitedly. “Clancy’s a nice guy.”

“Who’s just as shy as you are, Hoss.” Ben added. “But he isn’t a drifter, and he’s been saving his wages in hopes of buying land for a farm during the two years he’s worked for us. I’ve already promised him a few good acres when he’s ready. The fact that his younger brother works here too has kept him on the straight and narrow. They’re both nice young men.”

“So we’ve come to a conclusion,” Ben said when neither son spoke further. He stood, gathering the coffee pot and mugs. “I’ll go to see the Masons tomorrow. After clearing the air, maybe I can plant a few seeds.”

Five

“Charley, Emma,” Ben greeted the Masons as he pulled Buck to a stop in their yard and tipped his hat.

“What brings you out this way, Ben?” Charley asked the man atop the buckskin.

“We need to talk, Charley.” Ben looked next at Emma. “All three of us need to talk.”

He saw the furtive looks pass between the couple as they walked inside. Emma’s hands were shaking so hard, the empty cups clattered in the saucers as she brought them to the kitchen table. Not wanting a mishap with hot coffee, Ben suggested he fill the cups while she headed back to the cupboard for sugar and spoons.

“I hear you’ve been making plans for my sons,” Ben began without preamble once they were all sipping Emma’s good brew. “I’d like to clear up a few things about that.”

Charley attempted an incredulous reaction as he huffed and postured like an irate rooster. His bravado ended when Emma placed her hand on his arm.

“You best tell us what you heard, Ben,” she said in a voice that denied her anxious exterior.

“Hoss hasn’t been himself lately, and he finally told Adam and me that your daughter Jenny suggested she couldn’t become ‘engaged’ to him or apparently even let him give her a peck on the cheek until her sister was on the way to the altar. The solution to this dilemma rested in Hoss presenting his brother in tribute to become Claire’s groom.” He stopped to gage the Mason’s reaction. “What made this so unsettling, is because Hoss is adamant he never gave Jenny any indication of being ready to court her or propose. Her ultimatum came out of nowhere.” Ben stopped, laid his hands flat on the table and continued, “Examining this deeper, I see a plan originating further up this family’s chain of command.”

Emma blushed until she was the hue of a ripe beet. “It never dawned on us that Claire would be older than most of the single men out here. She should have stayed with relatives back east to find a husband before joining us.” She shook her head. “This … absence of opportunity … is not her fault, yet people feel entitled to call her names like spinster or old maid behind her back and even ‘tease’ her about how the only other old maid in town is Miss Jones, but at least she has a career. There’s been some who’ve been so rude as to suggest our daughter is somehow soiled or unfit.”

“People can be cruel. I’m sorry to hear that Claire has suffered at their unkindness.” Ben’s statement was sincere. His mind slipped back to the many times his family had experienced similar crudeness. There’d been suggestions that he and his sons were tainted with bad luck as evidenced by the loss of three wives and mothers. Hoss had been teased and tormented simply for being taller and heavier than others his age, and Adam had faced judgment from those who couldn’t understand his intelligence and talked behind his back, declaring him odd or damaged as well. He drew from his thoughts as he heard Emma continue.

“We’d heard you had an older boy away at school when we first settled. And when you invited us to welcome him home, and saw Adam being so nice to Claire, we had Jenny work a little on Hoss, thinking he was easier to bring around first. It was a harmless way to ….”

“Get two Cartwrights instead of one with a little underhanded persuasion?” Ben’s smile wasn’t unkind even as he twisted what Emma was about to say into a more truthful statement.

Charley finally spoke. “There was no intent to hurt them, Ben. Your boys and our girls are all nice kids who might have made good partners. I felt so helpless when I’d see Claire crying over the things people said. She doesn’t want to go to town or parties any more. When we saw Claire and Adam talking, we decided we had to act because the longer the boy was home, the more likely he’d begin seeing someone, and why couldn’t that someone be Claire. We only wanted Jenny to ask Hoss to remind his brother that he’d enjoyed being with our daughter.” This time Charley blushed. “Unfortunately, after Hoss stopped coming around, we asked Jenny just what she’d said, and realized she’d come on too strong, and had probably scared both your boys off.”

“I appreciate that you’ve seen the error in your plan, and didn’t push further. Hoss likes Jenny, but that’s all he feels now. And Adam will never be part of any deal.”

“You don’t need to worry,” Emma said with a sigh as she stood to clear the table. “Charley and I decided I’ll take the girls to San Francisco for the winter months. It’s Claire’s fondest desire to have a husband, home and children. I’ll give her a little time to find a suitor there, but if that doesn’t happen quickly, she’ll need to find a position in a shop or with a seamstress.”

Ben’s eyes began to twinkle. “Maybe you’ve not looked in the right places for an eligible young man in this area.” Ben offered.

Charley sat taller in his chair. “I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you are, Ben. I don’t want her settling for some drifter or saloon rat just to get married.”

Emma crossed her arms and pinned Ben with an evil stare. “I agree with my husband.”

“Not all young men who come here as drifters want to stay drifters,” Ben suggested. “There’s one in particular, named Clancy who wants to settle down and has already saved enough money to buy land. My boys saw him talking with Claire at the party, and thought they were getting on very well. The problem is that he’s shy, and ranch hands often feel they aren’t equal to the people who are part of the community. Clancy attends church when he’s not away with a herd; he doesn’t drink or gamble; looks after a younger brother who also works for us, and clearly liked being with your daughter.” Ben gave the Masons a chance to think this over before asking, “Would you give Claire a chance with Clancy, or any other decent guy who works in these parts?”

“You swear there are good men in your bunk house?” Charley demanded.

“Not just in ours.” Ben’s eyes began to shine again. “There’s a dance in town next Saturday. I’ll make sure Clancy attends and you bring Claire. Since the boy is so shy, I’ll mention that she’s the young woman he talked with at the Ponderosa, and he should go say hello.” He winked. “Nature might take its course when there’s no pressure. And if he isn’t Claire’s cup of tea; I’ll introduce you to other nice guys who would love an invitation to dinner.”

,

Epilogue (Two months later)

Adam stopped at the bottom of the stairs, running his index finger inside the starched collar of his white dress shirt to loosen his string tie without having to redo it. It worked enough that it no longer felt like a noose around his neck, and he continued to the front door where he stepped out into the crisp winter morning.

“It looks to be a good day for a wedding,” he told Hoss as he made it over to the edge of the porch where his brother was standing. “After the snow earlier this week, I wondered if we’d be able to host this after all.”

“Luckily it warmed up and cleared the roads enough to travel,” Hoss replied as a shiver rippled across his shoulders. “Anyone who wants to come should make it just fine. And since people know the Cartwrights put on a good feed, I’d bet on a good turnout. Any chill they get on the drive will be chased away by Pa’s fine liquor.”

Adam assumed a similar stance as Hoss, hooking his thumbs into the pockets of his dress pants as he took a look around the yard. The change from the warmth of the house to the cold outside produced a shiver in the older brother as well. “The men have things looking nice out here, and the Mason ladies did a great job making pine bouquets and garlands.” He took a deep breath. “I love the scent of fresh cut pine.”

Hoss pointed to a wagon near the barn. “I was showin’ the men where to put our horses out back so they could clean out the barn for later when the drinkin’ gets heavier, the cigars come out and the ladies chase the men outside. I didn’t see a wagon out in the yard when I went inside. Did someone get here already?”

“Jenny and Claire came over with their mother to drop off the food Mrs. Mason is providing. I guess they thought it better to change here than wear their wedding dresses in the wagon. They got here a few minutes ago and headed up to the guest room. I’m sure we won’t see them until it’s time to make their grand entrance down the stairway.”

Hoss smiled widely. “Who’d a thought we’d be havin’ a double wedding on the Ponderosa today. Sometimes things that don’t seem to want to happen, happen real quick-like when the situation is right.”

Adam’s breath created a foggy cloud as he laughed. “If by the situation being right, you mean Charley Mason seeing the opportunity to pay for one wedding instead of two; then it worked out splendidly.”

“It makes sense, Adam. The same people would be involved in both weddings. I think the gals like the idea too.”

Adam stroked his chin like a wise shaman considering the questions of the universe. “No second thoughts about this?”

“Not a one.”

“Then everything turned out perfectly.”

Clancy waved at the brothers as he exited the barn. “I’m gonna go change now,” he shouted as he passed. “They’re done inside the barn, and the rest of them will get changed shortly.”

“He sure looks happy,” Hoss noted as the young man disappeared into the bunkhouse.

Clancy’s younger brother Jamie exited the barn next and waved as he ran by.

“Jamie looks pretty happy too,” Adam noted. “It’s interesting that the Cartwrights boys were originally tagged to become grooms for the Mason girls, but the Clancy brothers asked the girls for their hands. I like being a best man a whole lot better for now.”

“Two brothers marryin’ two sisters ain’t all that uncommon I suppose, but it’s the first time it’s ever happened on the Ponderosa.” He laughed quietly as he nudged Adam. “And probably the last time too.”

“I’m glad it worked out. All it took was for Claire and Clancy to meet up at that dance for things to get moving. And then Jamie met Jenny and it worked out for them too.” He rubbed his arms to ward off the chill, and turned directly towards Hoss. “We haven’t had a chance to talk much since that day mending fence. I’ve been gone on that beef sale and then getting the herd set for winter. When I finally came home and heard we were hosting the double wedding, I didn’t want to bring anything up with Little Joe around for fear he’d want to know the whole story … and then tease you about it. Does it bother you that Jenny is marrying someone else, or did you simply decide you didn’t want to put more time into getting to know her?”

A blush brightened the middle brother’s neck and cheeks. “I went to the dance that next Saturday intendin’ on getting’ that kiss from her. She agreed to walk with me in the moonlight, and that’s when I told her I wasn’t ready to marry anyone yet, but I’d sure like to hold her hand when we was together, and get a goodnight kiss.”

“Good for you!”

“Not so good as you’d think. She wasted no time telling me she didn’t have them feelin’s for me at all, and had done what her parents told her, hoping you would court Claire. Truth was she thought I was nice and did lots of kind things, but she had no thought of ever kissin’ me.”

“That must have stung.” Adam’s mouth dropped to a deep frown for his brother.

“Also not so much as you’d think. Honestly, I think I was more relieved than upset, and then Jamie came around lookin’ for me cuz Pa needed something. I knew him pretty well since we’re the same age and always hung together when we worked crew, so I noticed him lookin’ all shy and moony when he said hello to Jenny. When I saw she was acting the same, I introduced them and went to find Pa. He came lookin’ for me later and asked whether she was my gal. I said she was free and clear, and he should ask her to dance.”

“That sounds like a rough evening, but it got you out of a fruitless situation.”

“It did more’n that, Older Brother. After Jennie went off with Jamie, I saw Bessie Sue Hightower standin’ alone by the door. You know her; she’s taller’n than all the gals, and even most of the guys around here, but she sure is put together good. I asked her to dance. Turns out she’s got lots of callers despite her height, but isn’t interested in getting’ married right now any more’n I am.”

“A match made in heaven?” Adam teased.

“I don’t know about that. What I do know was that when I walked her out to her wagon at the end of the dance, she grabbed me and gave me a decent kiss … right on the lips.”

Adam’s eyes popped open. “Are you one of those ‘suitors’ now?”

“She kind’a scares me, Adam.” Hoss shivered again, not from the cold this time. “The Hightowers are comin’ to the weddin’ today, so maybe I’ll ask her to dance, and get another kiss for my efforts. But that’s all I’m gonna do fer now.”

“I’ll be rooting for you!” Adam’s smile was wide and warm. He clapped Hoss on the back and steered him back towards the house. “Let’s go in and give Pa a hand. When I walked through, I could hear him from the kitchen trying to referee the battle of wills between Emma Mason and Hop Sing.”

Hoss stopped inside the door as the warmth from a good hardwood fire enveloped him along with the scent of pine from the decorations. He grabbed Adam’s arm and nodded towards the room. “Them ladies sure did make this room into a kind of wonderland, didn’t they?”

The green boughs sprinkled with white paint to look like snow; bright red bows, and the holly branches still holding their fall berries, transformed the house. The furniture was removed or pulled aside for more floor space, and the room was decorated for Christmas except for the tree which would have taken too much space.

Hoss sniffed. “That day we talked, you never told me what Mama and Pa’s wedding was like.”

A soft smile washed over Adam’s face as a memory he thought he’d forgotten, fought for recognition. “I can’t remember a lot except a church, and then a picnic afterwards. What I do remember ….” He stopped to choose his words. “Was not how it looked, but how it felt. Inger and Pa held hands, but they each held my hand too while they said their vows. I remember looking up at Pa, and saw him smiling. I told you how in those weeks between Uncle John’s place and arriving in your mama’s town, he’d started to look beaten, grumpy and sad. I hadn’t seen him smile in so long. But your mother saw beyond his grouchy bark to find a good man inside. That smile never left Pa’s face on their wedding day or any other day we were all together.”

“Ain’t that just something,” Hoss breathed. “Let’s promise to not marry until we find someone who makes us smile so hard our cheeks hurt.”

Adam nodded and wrapped his arm around Hoss’ shoulder. “That’s a deal.”

 

The End

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Little Joe / Joe Cartwright

 

1 Background from my story, When Words are Hard to Find.

2 Background from the story, Say Something.