Summary: There are many ways of believing whether it is in the spirits of Halloween, in Santa, in promises and dreams, or in each other. The story is about how believing has an impact on the Cartwright family.
Rating: PG  Word count: 3,581

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Ya Gotta Believe

It was a mild fall, and the Hoss and Joe were on a hunting trip with Candy and Jamie. On the last day of October, they sat around a campfire and talked. A question from Candy followed up by one from Jamie and whole chapters of the Cartwright family history were told that Halloween night. The first story was appropriately spooky and more frightening than most because it seemed like it could actually have happened. That first story was about a witch but the storytelling evolved into a story about the oldest Cartwright son and his skeptical attitude. Adam didn’t want to believe in evil spirits or Christmas spirits or angels. That began to change with the story of Old Patty but didn’t stop there. There are a lot of ways of believing and all of them are important.

Every time Old Patty strolled into town, there would be some children who were going to make fun of her. There were many reasons for a child to taunt her. From her patched handmade leather dress, rag leggings, and worn moccasins to the hands dirty from hard labor, she was the kind of person my parents said they never wanted their children to be. When Ben Cartwright was a witness to this cruelty, he always told those children to be quiet if they valued their health and safety. Obeying that booming voice of authority was never a question. After she passed by, a few might hang back and ask why. Like every other person in town, Ben had no specific answer. He believed she was a witch. but he had no evidence of it. When speaking to the children in town, he talked of kindness and of being a good citizen but never mentioned his belief that she was a witch.

Adam would smirk at his father’s response in such a situation because he had heard his father’s theory that Old Patty was a witch. He didn’t believe in such hocus pocus. Hoss didn’t like hearing about such things and would try to find something to do so he could avoid such conversations. Little Joe would put his hands over his ears and bury his head in his father’s embrace whenever supernatural things were discussed.

The situation stayed that way for a few years until the incident with the bear. Everyone knew or it seemed everyone knew Old Patty had a pet bear. The arrangement was that she fed him and he protected her and her cabin. She kept him close to her place so the bear was no trouble to anybody. One day, Old Patty’s bear was missing. She came into town to find out if anyone had seen her bear wandering around. That same day, Abe Jenkins brought in a bearskin to trade for liquor at the general store. Everybody drew the same conclusion about what he had done, but no one could prove it.

Now, Old Patty was a midwife and healer when she was younger and the area didn’t have a doctor. There was still more work than the doctors could handle and she sometimes helped out as needed. She took care of simple broken bones, ladies having babies, cuts, small bangs on the head, sick ones who needed tending, and all kinds of minor ailments. From that day on after her bear went missing, every time she took care of someone, she said the same refrain.

“Let the pain and suffering be gone from this one and go to old Abe Jenkins cause he wants what belongs to another.”

Abe died about six months after he brought in that bearskin. He had lost at least fifty pounds, and he had broken ribs from the constant coughing he did. There were oozing sores on sensitive areas of his body, and he was nearly blind. He died during a heat wave, but everyone who heard that story shivered when they heard Abe’s condition described.

With that for evidence, even the most skeptical believed Old Patty was a witch. Although no one picked on her or harmed her in any way, no one hired her either. With her bear gone and nothing to keep her busy, apparently she had enough of the area. Adam came home one day to announce to the family that ‘Old Patty, the witch’, had left.

Ben had smiled when he heard his son’s announcement. His son believed.

Getting Adam to believe in other things turned out to be far more difficult. That was true that same year when Christmas was near. Hoss described that situation and what happened just a little over a year after Old Patty left.

Although Christmas decorations were going up, it was relatively quiet in the Ponderosa ranchhouse except for snickers and giggles. Mostly that was probably because the three boys were so intent on their tasks. Adam stood on a ladder leaning toward the tree to fix the angel on the top while Hoss held the ladder making sure it wouldn’t fall even as he hooked more ornaments on the tree. Little Joe’s job was to stand on the landing of the stairs and tell them when the angel was straight on the tree. The most obvious reason though was to keep him far from the ladder as well as the tree and any chance that he would do something that might create a disaster. As Little Joe gave instructions, Adam would move the angel a little and ask if it was better. Joe would tilt his head from side to side before giving the next instruction. Hoss worked at getting the rest of the tree decorated but did it with a grin knowing Adam was playing with the little boy letting him think he was in charge. Often he didn’t move the angel at all but only said he did to buy more time for Hoss to finish his tasks. Finally, Adam told Joe he thought he had gotten it just right getting a big grin from Little Joe for the praise. However, there was another discussion that started up again when they finished that job. It was one that had been going on intermittently during and between other decorating work and even before and after breakfast and lunch that day.

“No, I am not going to hang one of my stockings by the fireplace. I don’t believe Saint Nicholas or Santa Claus or whatever you want to call him is coming down the chimney.”

Each time Adam said it, it seemed more of a firm decision than the first time he had uttered the words that seemed blasphemy to his younger brothers.

“Ya gotta hang a stocking up, Adam. He does, doesn’t he, Hoss?”

“He shur does. Ya gotta believe too, Adam, or it don’t happen.”

Hoss was pleading. They had been told often enough by their father that this was true. He had sat there and talked of the Christmas visitor they all wanted to have.

“Now, Saint Nicholas travels at night to the homes of children who believe in him. If they hang their stockings by the chimney with care, then Saint Nicholas knows that they believe and fills those stockings with sweets and leaves a gift under the tree for each child who believes in him.”

However, to Little Joe and Hoss, it seemed their older brother was going to ruin Christmas with his talk about not believing. Their fears were growing as the day was nearing its end, and Adam still hadn’t shown any sign of giving in.

“Yeah, you gotta believe, or it don’t happen.” Little Joe stood with Hoss.

“Doesn’t happen and won’t happen. Believing you will get something you want won’t make it happen.”

Hoss grinned and tried to get his brother to adopt a lighter mood. Little Joe mimicked Hoss and tried to copy his posture.

“Come on now, Adam. You don’t want to make Little Joe cry, do ya? He’s so looking forward to Christmas. Can’t ya try to get into the spirit?”

From his desk, Ben Cartwright watched his sons and had to smile watching his five-year-old try to stand tall with his hands on his hips and look strong failing miserably with his cute little face and curls of hair hanging down onto his forehead. He was impressed too with how well Hoss was handling the situation. Adam did have a tendency to get down in the dumps, and Hoss was doing his best to bring him out of it. If anyone could get Adam to get in the holiday spirit, Ben was sure that Hoss could do it.

“But it does. You hope for it and prays for it and it happens.”

“Hope only brings disappointment. Better to wait to see what happens than to hope and be disillusioned every time.”

“Ah, what does disah, whatever you said, mean?”

“It means you only get disappointed if you hope for things. Better to do your work and know what it is right before your face than to dream of things that will never be or things you will never have. Now, you can finish up with what’s left to do here. I’ll be back to help put the boxes away.”

Finishing his task, seventeen-year-old Adam grabbed his coat and hat and walked out the front door to do chores looking as serious as usual when there were discussions like this. His brothers never understood why he seemed so unhappy when they were so happy about the same events.

Ben listened and for the first time, he was astounded to realize that his eldest son may never have truly been a child. He didn’t seem to have the childlike ability to hope and wonder. Most adults had it because they never lost that sense from childhood. Looking back at his son’s difficult life, Ben accepted what Adam’s experiences must have done to him. Hearing it stated so openly had been a surprise. Usually, Adam held those kinds of thoughts inside. Although Ben knew he should have understood this before and had suspected it was true, it had never been so clearly illustrated as that scenario that had played out before him when his three sons had seemed to forget he was there.

For many years, Adam had endured hardships with him first with the trip west. Then they moved from California to Nevada. Especially hard on the boy had been the loss of Inger, and recently they had all lost Marie. Although she had first disrupted his life with all the changes she had brought, he had grown to love her as much as Hoss had accepted her into his life. Despite all the hardships and losses, Adam had still laughed and played with his brothers, but now Ben knew that inside, his oldest boy could become a lost soul if he didn’t find a way to reach across the spiritual void to him.

A void it was. Ben sat at his desk and remembered many instances when he had thought his son was so strong or perhaps so stubborn. It was a shock to realize that it all could have been a lack of emotion inside of him. Something needed to be done to save his son’s spirit before he became a cold and hard man. Ben leaned back in his chair and wondered how he could show Adam what his brothers already knew. He needed to learn that good things could happen too and that hopes, dreams, and beliefs were important. Ben knew one hope Adam still held. Pulling out paper, he wrote a number of letters.

On Christmas morning, Ben didn’t have much of a gift for any of his sons. It had been a difficult year so none of them got much. The younger boys got the usual candy treats and some small toys. Both Hoss and Adam got new pocket knives. Ben had hoped to have more for Adam, but he gave him a box with a note inside. It promised that he had a special gift coming for Adam’s birthday. I want you to know that sometimes a dream can come true. On your birthday, expect to find out what it is. He saw the smirk his son had but ignored it. At least Hoss had convinced Adam to hang one of his stockings. There was peace among the three brothers about Christmas and the traditions of that day at least for one more year. Ben mailed the letters the day after Christmas when Hop Sing went to town to be with his relatives for a day.

Snowed in as they were that winter, Ben had no idea if he had received answers to his letters. When he was finally able to go to town, his first stop was to find out if any letters had arrived. He knew how difficult it would be for the letters to reach the recipients and for replies to be sent. He hoped at least for one response to the many letters he had sent. A few months after Christmas, on Adam’s birthday, Ben handed Adam a box with the three responses he had received so far to the letters he had written. Adam felt the light weight of the box and smirked again.

“Another promise?”

“Just open it, please. Dreams and promises weigh about the same.”

Frowning because he didn’t understand his father’s response, Adam sat before attempting to open the box. When he did remove the paper and ribbon, it was with less than joyous birthday enthusiasm. However, Adam was intrigued to see letters in the box. He read the first one. His hand shook slightly as he set it down almost with reverence before picking up the second and opening it, and both hands were shaking by the time he finished reading that one. With great care, he gently set it on top of the first letter and reached for the third. Adam read that one after wiping his eyes. Ben could see Little Joe wanted to ask questions, but holding up his hand, he got the boy to hold off. Pressing the letter from his grandfather to his chest, Adam took a deep breath before looking over at his father. Ben had to smile to see the wonder in his eyes. Those eyes were glistening too even as they showed the joy in his eldest son’s heart and let Ben know his plan had worked.

“I can go to college? These letters say I can. It says I can register for classes and that I have a passage booked from San Francisco. It says Grandfather wants to meet me and will help me find a place to live. He said he will help me with anything I need.”

“Yes, you will go to college and your grandfather will finally meet Elizabeth’s son. This summer, you will travel east to start classes in the fall.”

“Oh, Pa, I believe.”

The storytelling made some eyes glisten, but Candy wanted to know if there was another story. He had heard so many stories of the fierce integrity and loyalty of the oldest Cartwright son and wondered what else had happened to forge his iron will. Joe told him there were more stories but it was getting late so there was only going to be one short one. Hoss guessed which one it was going to be.

“This the one where she lied about seeing Pa and Adam kill her father so the jury convicted them. They was sitting in jail ready to hang?”

“That’s the one. Pa told us how upset Adam got with him for sitting there reading the Bible and praying.”

“You sit there with your head bent, and with folded hands, you pray. After all these years, I know your heart as well as my own. You’re praying that God will spare you and me. To know those nooses out there are meant for us is almost too much for you. You told him not to do it, but I can tell you’re praying Joe will work a miracle. The fear I can see in your eyes is that you worry he won’t.”

“Sometimes, Adam, you have to believe in prayer. You have to believe that a power greater than our own will intercede on our behalf.”

“Like angels?”

“God or angels, yes.”

“If anyone is going to save us, it will be Little Joe and Hoss doing what you told them not to do. Now, I wish I could tell you my little brother is going to pull some fool-crazy stunt in broad daylight with the whole town against him, but you know what? I wouldn’t bet against him.”

“And I pray that if he tries, he will have help.”

Ben noted how Adam sat on the cot and raised his eyes upward. After five minutes, he looked at his father. He told him he had asked his mothers for help. Ben asked which ones he had asked.

“All of them. If it works, we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

The next day, Little Joe and Hoss pulled off the improbable rescue with Lassiter’s help in getting the witness to recant her testimony. Adam had been as grateful as anyone could imagine offering heartfelt thanks to his brothers. Looking to his father though his thoughts were on another topic.

“I am a believer now. Nothing banishes doubts like success does.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you all had a part in building up his hopes and dreams until he had to leave.”

Frowning, Joe and Hoss looked at each other.

“Dadburnit, Joe, I think Candy’s right. If he didn’t believe in nothing, he woulda stayed right here with us. We made him go.”

“Hoss, nobody ever made Adam do anything.”

“Really? Pa got him to believe in witches, Christmas, and angels, oh, and us.”

“So it was Pa who made him leave just like you always been telling me?”

“Hoss, when I tell you something, ya gotta believe me.”

Shaking their heads and chuckling, Candy and Jamie were amazed at the twists in a story Joe could throw at Hoss and how Hoss could somehow follow them.

“Jamie, you have to write these stories down. Someday, if these two ever have children, they are going to need evidence to counteract all the stories they’re told.”

“It’s funny because I was thinking about doing something like that except I was going to write to Adam to get his side of the story. I thought it would be a way for me to get to know him too by hearing the other side of things.”

“Maybe not ask him about the other side. Ask him what really happened. From what I’ve heard, he’s a proud man and more prone to see things as they are than Joe does right off. Oh, Joe sees things in time, but he takes a bit to get a clear picture sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your father told me a story about Adam going up against a man named Bill Enders. Adam refused to fight the man, and your father and brothers were disappointed in him. Joe especially questioned Adam’s courage.”

“Whoa, from stories I’ve heard, I never thought anyone would do that.”

“Enders insulted him pretty badly, and he wouldn’t fight. He looked like he had lost his courage and it didn’t just look that way to your family. They questioned him on that here at home.”

“I bet that didn’t go well.”

“Your Pa said it went better than he expected. Adam wanted them to understand, but Joe got mad because of what Adam said.”

“What was that?”

“He said courage was easy. He compared it to some British soldiers who rode into some valley and all got killed.”

“It’s about the Battle of Balaclava. Tennyson wrote a poem about it. I’ve read it. They were heroes.

Their’s not to make reply,

Their’s not to reason why,

Their’s but to do and die:

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.”

“Adam called them fools, courageous fools. It was part of his argument that anyone can be courageous. What he questioned was their intelligence and their ability to think about what they were doing. Nothing was accomplished by their dying, was there?”

“Well, no, I guess not.”

“Adam told your family that he had to have the courage not to fight because the real fight was for the truth and for justice. If he fought Bill and died, then there would be neither of those and there would be more dishonesty and injustice.”

“I suppose Joe thought that was all an excuse not to fight Bill.”

“He did at first. He said later he understood and helped Adam to prove his theory. We have talked about this. He said that incident is what probably changed forever the relationship between Adam and your father. It probably didn’t do any great things for the brother relationship either even if both Hoss and Joe came around pretty quickly. When they talk about Adam leaving, they always talk about the symptoms and not the disease.”

“Huh?”

“They didn’t believe in him. They believe in each other and that’s what keeps them strong. They believe in me and they believe in you. That’s what keeps us here.”

“I never thought about it that way before. If you want someone to stay, they need you to believe in them.”

“There’s nothing more important than that, Jamie.”

“Ya gotta believe.”

 

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Candy Canaday, Hoss Cartwright, Jamie Hunter Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright,