Series: None – Set in Australia; AC not yet born

Adam tells his daughters a story about when he and their Uncle Hoss were little boys and got into some mischief.

Rating: K  WC  2500

Not part of the Adam in the Outback Series, but set in the same realm:

The Adventure of the Gooseberry Pie Eating Bear
O’Tannenbaum

I want to thank Lis for beta reading this short story, which was inspired by the scene in “The Hayburner” where Ben catches Adam and Hoss in the barn with their racehorse.

Acknowledgement:  Ben, Adam and Hoss are not my creations and I intend no copyright infringement by making use of them.

Adventures of the Gooseberry Pie Eating Bear

Chapter 1
It was a hot and sultry Sunday afternoon in late November and the thermometer on the side of the Cartwrights’ house read 112 degrees.  The family would have been swimming in the Cloncurry River except for one problem:  The summer monsoons were late and there wasn’t enough water in the river to go wading.  Their house was unbearable so as soon as they returned from church, they hurriedly changed from their uncomfortable good clothes.  Adam thankfully removed his necktie and suit and exchanged them for a shirt of unbleached muslin and tan canvas pants.  He left the top three buttons on his shirt undone and rolled up his shirtsleeves past his elbows.  Meanwhile, Bronwen gratefully shed her corset, bustle and petticoats and put on a pink muslin wrapper in place of the silk poplin dress she’d worn.  The girls changed into short-sleeved smocked dresses made of lawn and removed their shoes and cotton stockings.

As soon as the family was dressed more comfortably, they escaped outside.  The heat and humidity were so debilitating that no one suggested a game of croquet; they just sat in the shade of the veranda with their two blue and tan terriers panting at their feet.  On the wicker table there was a tray with a pitcher of lemon squash, glasses and a plate of bread-and-butter sandwiches, cut in triangles with the crusts removed.

“Tell us a story, Daddy,” Penny begged and then nibbled listlessly on a sandwich.

“A story about you and Uncle Hoss,” Gwyneth added, leaning down to pet Belle and Lady.

“Those are bonzer stories,” Miranda declared, reaching for a sandwich while Beth said, “Too right,” before sipping her tepid lemon squash.

Adam smiled at his daughters and after a moment he said, “It was the summer Uncle Hoss was five, just like Penny, and I was eleven like Beth.”  . . .

~ ~ ~ ~

Adam stopped weeding to remove his wide-brimmed straw hat and wipe away the sweat running down his forehead into his eyes, unknowingly leaving behind a smear of dirt.  He put the hat back on his sweat-soaked curls and glanced over at his younger brother, busy with his task of pulling weeds.  Hoss’s straw hat shaded his fair-skinned face and protected it from sunburn, but his arms were exposed to the sun since he copied his big brother and rolled his shirtsleeves above his elbows.  For a while he’d had a painful burn, but now his arms were brown like his brother’s.

Their new neighbors—Mr. and Mrs. McKaren and their son, Todd—had been surprised when they’d first met and Pa introduced his sons.  Adam didn’t blame the McKarens because he could see that he and Hoss didn’t look anything alike.  Hoss was very fair with bright blue eyes, and the white blond hair he’d had as a toddler had darkened to a sandy brown.  Even in the winter when Adam’s tan faded, his skin wasn’t as fair as Hoss’s.  Sometimes Adam’s eyes looked brown but other times they were more of a golden brown with hints of green, and his hair was such a dark brown it looked black.  The only thing the two brothers had in common was that they were both tall, but Adam was tall and skinny while Hoss was tall and stocky.  Their differences were easily explained, as their pa told the McKarens.  Adam was the son of his first wife and took after her while Hoss’s mama had been Swedish and he took after her family.

“Oh, they’re half brothers,” Mrs. McKaren had said.  As far as Adam and Hoss were concerned, they were brothers and there was nothing halfway about it.

“Hey, Hoss,” Adam said and the younger boy looked up at him.  “I’m thirsty.  How about you?”

“Yeah, me too,” Hoss said emphatically.  Then he swiped his hand across his upper lip to remove the beads of sweat.

“Now ya got dirt on your face,” Adam grinned and tipped his hat back, causing Hoss to giggle.  “What’s so funny?”

“You got dirt on yer face, too” Hoss said and pointed to his forehead.

Adam’s grin grew sheepish and he said, “I guess we better wash our faces when we get a drink of water.”

They walked to the well, which was located a safe distance from the barn, chicken coop, pigpen, outhouse and garden to prevent the water from being contaminated.  The boys were really thirsty by the time they reached the well.  Hoss sent the bucket down in the dark depths and Adam turned the crank to bring it up, full of cool water.  Adam let Hoss have the first dipper and then he took a turn.  They were so thirsty that they each drank two dippers full of that sweet water.  Adam poured most of the water back in the well before he wet his kerchief in the bucket and used it to scrub his face.  Hoss followed his example and they checked each other’s faces to make sure they were clean.

As they walked back to the kitchen garden, Hoss suddenly stopped and pointed.  “Lookee, Adam! Hop Sing’s got a pie coolin’ on the windowsill.”

“I bet he used the gooseberries we picked the other day,” Adam said, feeling his mouth begin to water at the thought of gooseberry pie.

“Sure would like a piece of pie,” Hoss said, looking toward the cabin longingly.

“Yeah, me too,” Adam said, imagining the taste of tart fruit and flakey crust.  “But we’ll have some at supper.”

“I’m hungry now,” Hoss said plaintively.

They were growing closer to the cabin.  Adam said, “It’s probably still too hot,” but his resolve was clearly weakening.

“Let’s see,” Hoss said eagerly.

They crept up to the window as quietly as they could.  Adam stealthily peered into the cabin and saw Hop Sing was busy making bread with his back to them.  So far so good, he thought.  He gingerly touched the pie and discovered it was only warm.  If we take the pie, Hop Sing or Pa is gonna know it was us.  His forehead wrinkled as he tried to come up with a way they could take the pie but not get caught.  Suddenly he snapped his fingers, then hunkered down underneath the sill and motioned for Hoss to do the same in case Hop Sing had heard him.

They waited anxiously for a minute or two but there was no sign of Hop Sing so Adam stood and carefully picked up the pie and headed for the pines that grew near the cabin with Hoss following.  When Adam judged they were far enough from the cabin, he sat down cross-legged with the pie on his lap.  Hoss plopped down beside him.

“I figured out how we can eat some pie without gettin’ in trouble,” Adam said.  “We can say it might’ve been a bear that ate some.”

“A bear?” Hoss repeated doubtfully.

“Sure.  Bears like berries don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Hoss replied slowly.

“If they like berries, then they’d like a berry pie, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah, they would!” Hoss said with a big grin.  Then his expression changed to one of puzzlement.  “How’re we gonna eat?  We ain’t got no forks.”

“Bears don’t use forks, silly,” Adam replied.  “They use their paws so we gotta use our hands.  Wipe ‘em off on yer overalls first,” he added, and Hoss followed his example.  Before Hoss could dig in, Adam quickly inserted, “Remember, we gotta leave some for Pa and Hop Sing.”

The two boys dug into the pie with gusto and it wasn’t long before they’d demolished nearly half.  Their faces and hands were covered with sticky gooseberries and they’d dropped plenty on their clothes as well.

“My stomach hurts,” Hoss said, gingerly rubbing the abused organ.

“I think we ate too much,” Adam said ruefully.  His stomach was stretched so taut that if he ate one more mouthful, he knew he’d bust.  He looked at the half empty pie tin and thought how unappetizing it now looked.  On the other hand, Pa or Hop Sing should find it easy to believe a bear had been at it.  Then he looked at Hoss’s face and clothes and realized he didn’t look any better.

“We gotta hurry up and get the pie on the windowsill before Hop Sing misses it and then we gotta clean up at the well,” he told Hoss.

They tried to run but their stomachs were too full; the best they could manage was a walk.  Their luck still held and Adam was able to set the half-empty pie tin back on the windowsill without the cook noticing.  Then they headed for the well.  They scrubbed their faces and hands until there was no trace of gooseberries, but they couldn’t get the stains from their cotton shirts and denim overalls.

“I sure hope no one notices,” Adam said worriedly.  “Now we gotta finish weeding.”

“But my stomach hurts,” Hoss said plaintively.

“So does mine,” Adam snapped, “but we gotta finish our chores or they’ll know it was us.”

“Okay,” Hoss said sadly.
The brothers finished weeding and Adam was chopping wood, which Hoss took to the woodshed, when they saw their pa ride up.  He waved a greeting before taking care of his buckskin gelding.  As Adam saw his pa cross the yard to the cabin, he remembered how much his pa loved gooseberry pie and could feel his palms begin to sweat, making it hard to grip the hatchet.  Sure enough, a minute or two after Pa entered the cabin, Hop Sing’s voice was heard angrily shouting in Chinese and a moment later, Pa stormed around the corner of the cabin, his thick black eyebrows drawn together and his mouth twisted in an angry scowl.

“Do you boys know what happened to the gooseberry pie Hop Sing made for our supper tonight and set on the windowsill to cool?” he demanded.

Hoss’s eyes darted over to his brother and Adam tugged on an earlobe before saying, “Maybe a bear got it, Pa.”  Hoss quickly echoed, “Yeah, maybe a bear.”

“A bear,” Pa repeated, his angry scowl deepening and exchanging nervous glances, the two boys swallowed hard.

Adam’s earlobe got a harder tug that time.  “Uh, sure, Pa.  Bears love berries so I just figured they’d love a gooseberry pie.”  He looked to his brother for support, but Hoss only stared back mutely with frightened eyes.

“I don’t want to hear anymore of this nonsense about bears,” Pa thundered.  “A bear wouldn’t have returned the pie tin to the windowsill.  Now, did you boys eat half of that pie?”

Hoss looked beseechingly up at his big brother, whose earlobe was being badly abused.  The story about the bear had seemed so believable, but he’d forgotten that a bear wouldn’t have brought the pie tin back.  If they lied, then they would be in even worse trouble.   Sighing deeply, Adam gave his poor earlobe one last tug before dropping his gaze to his bare feet and saying softly, “Yes, sir.”  He glanced up quickly, adding hopefully, “We left some pie for you and Hop Sing.”  One glance at his pa’s expression caused him to quickly refocus his attention on his tanned feet.

“Wasn’t that kind of you?” Pa said mockingly.  “To leave half a pie after you’d clearly been digging into it with your bare hands.  If Hop Sing and I sat down and ate a pie with our hands, would you want to eat what we left?”  Getting no response, he asked sternly, “Well, would you?”

“N-no, sir,” Adam replied, still staring at his feet, and Hoss parroted, “No, sir.”

Their pa took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten.  “I hope you enjoyed the pie because that’s all you’re getting for supper.  Right now I’m going to have a necessary talk with each of you and then you’re going up to your room until tomorrow morning.”

When Pa finished punishing the boys, Hoss sobbed quietly while big tears rolled down his rosy cheeks.  His tears weren’t from the spanking, which had only stung a little.  No, his tears were caused by the knowledge he’d disappointed his pa and because he knew his big brother’s punishment was more painful than his.  Adam didn’t cry—he never did—but he couldn’t resist rubbing his sore bottom.

“Now, they’ll be no more stealing pies,” Pa said firmly, quickly adding, “or anything else.  Do you understand?”

Hoss nodded vigorously while Adam said quietly, “Yes, sir.”

“Now, you two get on up to the loft and stay there until tomorrow morning,” Pa said, his expression still stern.  It softened as he added quietly, “I’ll be up to say goodnight after supper.”  As his boys disappeared around the corner of the cabin, he shook his head and chuckled softly.  “A gooseberry pie eating bear.  What will that boy think of next?”

~ ~ ~ ~

As Adam finished, the girls were all laughing.

“I like that story, Daddy,” Penny got out between giggles.

“I’d like to see a bear eating a gooseberry pie,” Miranda commented with a dimpled grin.

“Could we make a gooseberry pie?” Beth asked Bronwen.  Before she could reply, Adam pointed at the sky where black clouds had appeared and said, “Look, the rains are coming!”

They all ran down the verandah’s steps to the yard, the two terriers barking excitedly.  They didn’t have long to wait before the rain arrived, falling in heavy sheets.  Within moments, their drenched clothing clung to them like a second skin and they all tilted their heads back and drank the rain water.  The girls began to run about, stopping every few minutes to drink more rainwater, while Adam put his hands around Bronwen’s waist and lifted her above his head and whirled her around before lowering her so they could kiss.

When they broke apart, she said with a giggle, “I wish I could’ve seen you and Hoss eating pie like bears.”

“Those were good times,” he said with a faraway smile.  His expression grew pensive as he added, “I’m glad I can remember Hoss now without pain.”  She hugged him and he put an arm around her.  Together they watched their daughters play in the pouring rain.