Story Summary:  Adam and Katherine Cartwright face a crisis.
Rating and Reader Alerts:  PG, mild language
Words:  22,856

Cartwright Romance Series

Truth Be Told
Second Sight
Heart and Home
Journey
Katherine, My Love
Annie, My Love
Jenny, My Love

 

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The Brandsters have included this story by this author in our project: Preserving Their Legacy. To preserve the legacy of the author, we have decided to give their work a home in the Bonanza Brand Fanfiction Library.  The author will always be the owner of this work of fanfiction, and should they wish us to remove their story, we will.

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Katherine, My Love

Chapter 1
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The three Cartwright brothers stood next to the punch bowl eyeing their wives across the room, lilting music wafting in the air as the musicians played nearby.

“You know, I think we managed to marry the three prettiest girls in the territory,” Hoss observed.

“I don’t think it, Hoss, I know it,” Adam stated emphatically, eyeing one of three women, the one dressed in a resplendant off-the-shoulder black gown, the light of the room reflecting highlights in her deep auburn hair.  She was smiling and laughing as she spoke to her two sisters-in-law, themselves dressed in beautiful gowns.  His eyes travelling the length of her, Adam marvelled at her still-trim figure.  Why she was about four months into this pregnancy and you’d hardly know it, he thought.  In fact, if it hadn’t been for that trip they’d taken just recently, he wondered if he’d even know it yet, as he smiled at the memory.

“Well, you two can stand here doing all the admiring you want,” Little Joe cut in, his eye on a particular blond-haired minx in a buttercup yellow dress, “but I’m a man of action.”  Leaving his brothers he proceeded across the room to tap his wife on the shoulder.  Turning, Jenny smiled at the sight of her husband, moving immediately into his arms for the dance at his silent invitation.

Watching their brother a moment or two as he danced with his wife, Hoss finally spoke, “You know, I don’t think Joe’s any more a man of action than me.”
Rapping the back of his hand on his brother Adam’s chest, he added, “Especially not in this particular situation,” as winking, he left his brother’s side and headed off in the direction of a certain dark-haired woman on the far side of the room.  Reaching his wife Annie, Hoss stopped before her.  She was dressed in a rose coloured gown, a smile on her face as she looked up at him.  Swallowing hard, Hoss had to admit it to himself.  He’d fibbed back there a moment ago.  He’d said the three prettiest girls in the territory.  But if he was gonna be honest, he knew that Annie was the prettiest, weren’t no two ways about it.  Especially when she smiled up at him like she was doing now.

Mildly amused as her husband stood mutely before her, Annie inquired, “Hoss, ain’t you gonna ask me to dance?” wondering at his hesitation.

Coming out of his stupor, Hoss invited, “Why, shore I am, Annie.  That is, if you want to,” he added, mindful that he wasn’t the most graceful on the dance floor.

“Why, of course I do, Hoss,” Annie answered, taking his hand as he led her to the floor.

Left by himself, Adam watched his wife across the room.  Jenny and Annie having left her side, she now turned to those around her, chatting and smiling, drawing out the quieter folks, gracious as always.  She was a natural party hostess even if this wasn’t their party.  Their father was hosting this one, only a week after their successful journey to Dalhousie to buy a large tract of land.  Deciding that he’d waited long enough, Adam straightened from the wall he’d been leaning against and with a purposeful intent, he strode across the room.  Coming up behind his wife as she talked with the elderly Ridleys he reached out to place his hand on the curve of her back near the side of her waist.  Feeling her jolt at his touch, he smiled a little, as he listened to her finish her conversation with the Ridleys before turning around to face him, a smile on her face.  “I thought maybe you’d like to dance,” he invited. 

“Well, you thought right,” Katherine answered, as still smiling, she moved into her husband’s arms for the dance.

Not far away, Little Joe Cartwright led his wife in the steps of the waltz, one of his hands holding hers, the other nestled to the side of her trim waist.  “Are you having a good time, Mrs. Cartwright?” he asked teasingly.

“Hmm.  I am now, Mr. Cartwright,” Jenny answered, thinking there was no better place on this earth than right here, in her husband’s arms.

Feeling a little tremor course through his wife, Joe asked, “Jenny, are you cold?”

Remembering from somewhere that this was the cue for him to put his arms around her but realizing that he already had his arms around her, Jenny answered, “No, I’m not cold, Joe.”

“But you’re trembling,” Joe persisted, thinking the cap-sleeved gown didn’t offer much warmth.

Jenny eyed her husband.  Didn’t he know?  Didn’t he know by now?  “Joe, I’m not trembling because I’m cold,” she informed him, wondering if he’d understand her meaning.

“But why then, Jenny?” Joe asked, uncomprehending.

Blushing at the admission, Jenny confessed, “I’m trembling because…because you’re touching me, Joe.”

Arching his brow in surprise, Joe asked, “Really?  Really, Jenny?”  He hadn’t known he had that affect on her.  Thinking, he remembered all those other times when he’d thought she was cold.  You mean, all those times it was because…. “Jenny, do you always tremble when I touch you?” Joe asked, incredulous.

“Hmm.  Pretty much.”

Well, if this wasn’t quite a revelation, Joe thought.  Suddenly a delighted grin appeared on his face.

“What’s so funny?” Jenny asked suspiciously, seeing the grin.

“Oh, nothing,” Joe answered evasively, inordinately pleased at his wife’s admission. Suddenly wanting to explore this development a little further, he stopped dancing and turned, pulling his wife behind him as he headed out the door.  Stopping in a quiet corner outside, Jenny’s puzzled inquiries ringing out behind him, he turned back to her, pulling her close.  “Now tell me more about this trembling,” he commanded, feeling the tremors even as he spoke.

“Joe, there’s nothing to tell!” Jenny protested, a little embarrassed.  Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.

“So you tremble when I touch you,” he restated the matter at at hand.  “Have you always?  I mean, right from the start?”

Seeing that her husband was on a fact-finding mission, Jenny sighed as she answered, knowing now that she’d told him this much, she might as well tell it all.  “Yes, Joe.  Right from the beginning.”

Trying to remember the different times, Joe probed, “So that time I walked you home from the creek and I held your hand?”  At Jenny’s silent nod, he continued, “And the time I lifted you down from my horse?  You weren’t really cold then either?” 

Shaking her head, Jenny answered, “Joe, I told you.  Right from the beginning.  Right from that time in the tree.”

“THE TREE?!?” Joe almost shouted the question.  Not from that first time he’d touched her helping her out of the tree?  Surely not then.  She was trembling then, he remembered, but surely it was from fright from being stuck in the tree.  “But, Jenny, you were frightened that time.  You were trembling because you were frightened,” Joe said.

“Well, I was frightened, Joe.  But I wasn’t trembling until you touched me.”

Staring down at his wife as the full meaning of her words hit him, Joe marvelled a little at the knowledge.  He’d never had this effect on any woman before.  Never.  And if he had, he was darn sure none of them would have told him.  But Jenny had.  She was too honest not to. 

Seeing her husband’s dumbfound expression, Jenny asked, uncertainty in her voice, “Is everything….is everything okay, Joe?”

“Everything’s fine, Jenny,” he whispered back, pulling her close and staring deeply into her eyes before lowering his head to kiss her.

Pulling apart a little as the kiss ended, Jenny murmured to her husband, her lips just a breath away from his, “Are you cold, Joe?”

Feeling her soft breath on his face, Joe murmured back, “No, Jenny, I’m not cold,” a little surprised by the question.

“But…but Joe…you’re trembling, Joe,” Jenny informed him, her voice a whisper.

“Am I?” Joe breathed, even more surprised.  Well, damned if he wasn’t trembling himself now, he thought with wonder.  Staring deeply into his wife’s eyes, he breathed the question again, “Am I, Jenny?” before bridging the small gap between them to meet her lips with his.

Inside the house, Hoss was refilling Annie’s punch glass when he spotted his father approaching.

“Hey, Pa, would you like some of this here punch?” he offered.

“Why thank you, Hoss, I believe I will,” Ben answered, turning to survey the roomful of people.  “Well, it certainly looks like everyone is having a good time,” he observed, as Hoss handed him a glass of punch.

“Well, Pa, you allus did know how to throw a good party,” Hoss complimented, as he looked about the room.  “But where’s Little Joe got to?” he wondered aloud at his brother’s absence.

“I believe I saw Joe take Jenny outside a minute or so ago,” Ben supplied knowingly.

“He did, huh?” Hoss questioned with a speculative look on his face.  “That Joe!  Taking a pretty girl out into the moonlight and leaving us here to do all the work.  I tell ya….hey, wait a minute!  I think I’ll join him.”  Suddenly, Hoss turned to Annie and taking the glass from her hand he set it on the table and grabbing her hand, he pulled her along behind him.

“Hoss!” Annie exclaimed, more startled than anything, as he led her out of the house, Ben’s laughter ringing behind them.

Turning back to his wife in another quiet corner, Hoss saw Annie’s mildly inquiring look.  “Annie, I….,” he faltered, not quite sure just why he’d done what he had.

“Yes, Hoss?”

“Annie….you shore do look nice tonight.  Real pretty like,” Hoss complimented his wife, as he swallowed hard.

“Why thank you, Hoss.  That was the general idea,” she teased.  As Hoss remained silent, Annie looked over at him, seeing his discomfort and unease.  “Hoss…is something wrong, Hoss?” she asked, a little worry in her voice at her husband’s silence.

“No, nothing’s wrong, Annie, it’s jist….,” he faltered again, as he ran his finger along the inside of his collar.  “It’s jist, I never was much good at talking to pretty girls,” he tried to explain his awkwardness.

“But Hoss!  I’m not a ‘pretty girl’.  I’m your wife!” Annie exclaimed, surprised at his admission.

“Not in that dress, Annie,” Hoss informed her.  “In that dress, you’re a pretty girl,” he stated emphatically, as he eyed the source of his discomfort. 

Secretly pleased at his words but wanting to ease his discomfort, Annie offered, “Well, we could talk about that mare that’s just about to foal, you know, like we done this afternoon in the barn?  Would that be alright, Hoss?”

“Yeah, I reckon so.”

“So…so when do figure she’s set to foal, Hoss?  Do you think it’ll be soon?” Annie asked, coaxing her husband out of his uneasiness.

“Yeah, I reckon it won’t be more’n a week or two,” Hoss answered, his comfort level rising as the topic changed to something familiar to him.  Turning beside her husband as he continued to talk about the mare, Annie moved forward,  her husband falling into step beside her as they began to stroll in the moonlight.

“And do you think she’ll have an easy time?” Annie asked to fill the lull, slipping her hand into the crook at her husband’s elbow, as they continued strolling, each of them eyeing the ground before them.

“Well, now, I reckon she will, this being her second,” Hoss was saying as Annie nodded in understanding.  “Still, it’s good to be prepared…..,” Hoss trailed off, as turning suddenly, he pulled Annie close and lowering his head he kissed her.  Startled by the move, Annie quickly rose up on her toes and moved her arms around her husband’s neck.  Pulling back when the kiss was over, Hoss marvelled, “You know, I ain’t never done that afore.”

“Done what, Hoss?”

“Kissed a girl in the moonlight,” he explained.  “I ain’t never had the gumption afore.”

Smiling at his admission, Annie replied, “Well, I’m glad it was me you had the gumption to try it with, Hoss.”

“Me too, Annie,” he said, lowering his head again and whispering to her before he kissed her again, “Me too.”

Back inside the house, Adam moved over to his father’s side, standing silently with him a moment surveying the room.  Suddenly noticing the absence of his two brother’s, Adam asked, “Hey, where are Little Joe and Hoss?”

“Hmm?” Ben pretended not to hear the question at first.  “Oh, Joe and Hoss?  I believe they took their wives out to look at the moon.”

“They did?” Adam asked, never liking to be outdone by his brothers.

“Hmm,” Ben confirmed.  “Must be something very unusual about the moon tonight.  Maybe you and Katherine should have a look,” Ben suggested, the merest hint of teasing in his voice.

“Well, I’ll be sure and suggest it to her,” Adam drawled back to his father, as Ben broke out in a laugh and clamped his hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Well, don’t wait too long,” Ben advised in his most authoritative ‘fatherly-advice’ voice.  Breaking out into laughter, he headed away, leaving his son shaking his head in amusement.

Re-entering the room a minute later, Joe and Jenny approached the punch table.  Following on their heels, Hoss and Annie entered the house and did likewise.  Seeing that his brothers had returned, Adam moved across the room to where his wife sat.  Leaning over, he reached for her hand, pulling her to her feet.

“Adam!” Katherine exclaimed, startled at the interruption to her conversation with Mrs. Higgins.

“I do hope you’ll excuse us, Mrs. Higgins,” Adam apologized to the startled guest.  “I need to see my wife about something rather urgent,” he added, pulling Katherine along behind him.

“Adam!” Katherine exclaimed again, as he led her across the room towards the door.

“It’s our turn, Katherine,” Adam said, by way of explanation.

“What?”

“I said it’s our turn, Katherine,” Adam answered, stopping and turning to her a moment.

“Turn for what?” Katherine asked, baffled at her husband’s strange behaviour.

“Our turn for the moon,” Adam explained, a delicious smirk on his face.

“Adam!” Katherine shrieked.  Whatever had gotten into him? she wondered, as he turned again, pulling her out the door.

Stopping and turning to his wife in yet another quiet corner, Adam wasted no time as he pulled Katherine into his arms, lowering his head to kiss her fast and hard, a startled word muffled on her lips.  Her startlement giving way to something else, Katherine melted her body against him, a soft moan eminating from her throat as she hooked her arms up under her husband’s and up to his shoulders, the passion of the kiss overwhelming her.  Pulling back at the end of the kiss, Adam stared down at his wife as she slowly opened her eyes to look back at him,  her eyes pools of liquid dreaminess.  A quick feeling of satisfaction coursing through him, Adam pulled away, a mock sigh in his voice as he declared, “Well, I guess that’s it.”  Turning he made to head back into the house as Katherine came out of her dreamy stupor to protest.

“HEY, JUST A MINUTE!” she complained loudly.

Turning back to his wife, Adam arched a brow inquiringly, mock innocence in his voice, “Hmm?”

“What do you mean, ‘that’s it’?” she demanded.

“Really, Katherine,” Adam drawled, spreading his hands and raising his shoulders ever so slightly, “my work here is done.”

“But…but…” Katherine sputtered, “but what about the MOON?!?” suddenly remembering the pretext Adam had used to lure her out here.

“Oh, right, the moon,” Adam conceded his error, as scratching his neck he moved back towards her.  “I was supposed to show you the moon, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, the moon,” Katherine repeated the words to him, a mild sulkiness in her voice.

Reaching out to pull his wife alongside him, Adam searched the night sky.  “There,” he pointed, as Katherine followed his gaze skyward.  “There’s the moon,” he repeated, as the two of them stared heavenward for a moment.  The luminous orb casting its legendary spell over them as they gazed silently at it, Adam moved to curve his arm around his wife as she instinctively nestled into his side.  The silence continuing between them, all teasing and playfulness suddenly over, they stared thoughtfully into the night sky.

“I guess my Pa was right,” Adam spoke softly, breaking the silence.

“Right about what, Adam?” Katherine asked quietly, still gazing at the moon.

“He said it was a very unusual moon tonight and not to miss it,” Adam clarified.

“Hmm,” Katherine agreed.  “I’m glad we didn’t miss it, Adam,” she said, staring up at the perfectly ordinary moon.  “It really is a wonderful sight.”

Turning his head, Adam looked down at his wife.  A wonderful sight.  Yes, he was looking at a wonderful sight, all right.  Sensing her husband’s eyes upon her, Katherine tore her gaze away from the moon to look at her husband instead.  Seeing something in his gaze, her breath caught in her throat, just seconds before her husband leaned towards her to seal the moment with a kiss.
Chapter 2
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A week later….

Nervously, Katherine approached her husband in the great room of their home, the hatbox in her arms.  Biting her lip a little, she chided herself.  Really, she was acting like a child.  There was no reason to feel like this.  She was a grown woman, not a child confessing a transgression to a parent.  Adam would understand.  It was just an accident after all.  Besides, hadn’t he said that she had his permission to break anything he owned when he’d proposed to her?  Yes, she thought, he’d said that.  Smiling a little in remembrance, she finally spoke, “Adam?”

“Hmm?” Adam mumbled, still reading the cattleman’s journal from his place on the settee.

“Adam, I have something to tell you,” Katherine said.

Looking up from his paper, Adam asked, “Oh?  What’s that?”

“I…I….,” Katherine faltered, suddenly nervous again.  “I broke something,” she finally managed to confess.

Chuckling a little at his wife’s announcement, thinking there wasn’t anything new in that, he enquired, “Oh?”

“I’m sorry, Adam,” she apologized, holding the hatbox out towards him.

Seeing that she was making no attempt to come any closer, Adam put down the journal and got up from his place on the settee to approach her.  Taking the hatbox from her hands as he eyed her with a raised brow, he pried the lid off to peer inside.  Inhaling sharply at the sight that greeted his eyes, he looked up to meet his wife’s eyes.  “And where did you find this?” he asked, the merest hint of accusation in his tone.

“It was in your desk, Adam.  I just took it out for a second and I…and I tripped on the carpet…and it dropped.  I’m very sorry, Adam,” Katherine apologized again.

Looking down at his mother’s music box, or what remained of the music box, the lid jarringly broken in two places, Adam didn’t respond as Katherine squirmed uncomfortably at her husband’s silence.  “Adam…Adam….say something, Adam,” she implored, the silence affecting her more than any words.

“What do you want me to say, Katherine?” Adam asked, continuing to stare at the box.

I want you to say you forgive me, Katherine silently thought to herself.  Instead she offered, “Adam, it still plays.  It still plays, Adam.  You could have it fixed.  I know it won’t be like it was but…..,”

“No, it won’t ever be like it was,” Adam agreed, speaking the words almost to himself, unaware of their affect on his wife.

Katherine felt the guilt rise swiftly inside her.  Adam wasn’t going to say he forgave her, she suddenly realized.  He was upset that she’d broken the music box.  She could see that.  And there was something else she saw too.  The music box meant something to him.  And he was hurt that it’d been broken.  “Really, Adam, I don’t see why it couldn’t be fixed,” she said, a slight note of pleading in her tone as she tried desperately to remedy the situation.  “I’ll take it into town tomorrow and see….,”

“Don’t bother, Katherine,” Adam interrupted her, shaking his head.  “It’s done now and we’ll just forget about it, okay?”

“Well,” Katherine hesitated, “okay, Adam.  If that’s what you want.”

Nodding his head, Adam replaced the lid on the hatbox and turning he headed up the stairs, his wife watching him as he disappeared from view.

Chapter 3
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“Where’re you off to, Joe?” Jenny Cartwright asked her husband as she came upon him saddling his horse.

“Pa wants me to stop in at the Ridley place, Jenny,” Joe explained.  “You know they’re leaving today for Fresno and Pa thought someone should stop in to see them off.”

Nodding her head in understanding, remembering that the Ridleys were an elderly couple moving to live with their son and his family in Fresno, Jenny offered, “Well, would you like  me to come along, Joe?”

A pleased smile immediately coming to his face, Joe answered, “Well, I suppose I could stand to have a little company.”

Smiling back, Jenny said, “Well, just give me a minute to change, then,” and turning she headed out the barn doors as Joe reached into the stall next to Cochise to saddle up Jenny’s horse Lightening.

Returning a scant few minutes later to find Joe in the courtyard next to their two horses, Jenny moved to reach for her horse’s bridle, preparing to mount as her husband placed his hands on her waist to help her up.  Smiling a little more as she swung into the saddle, Jenny had to admit to herself that she didn’t really need any help mounting her horse.  Why she’d been riding just as long as she could remember, with narry a soul to help her into the saddle.  And it’s not like Joe wasn’t aware of her horsemanship.  Guess it was something they both didn’t mind…him helping and her letting him.  It just felt kind of nice, Jenny thought to herself.  Watching as her husband swung up into his saddle, they turned silently and headed in the direction of the Ridley place, only a short ride away.

Riding up into the courtyard of the small white-frame house, Jenny and Joe took in the activity about them.  Suitcases and trunks were being loaded into a wagon by a couple of beefy men and Mrs. Ridley was on the porch, barking orders left and right as Mr. Ridley stood nearby, a harried look on his face.

Seeing the arrival of the two visitors, Mrs. Ridley called out, “Why if it isn’t Joe and Jenny Cartwright!  How nice to see you two,” she greeted them as they pulled their horses up to the porch.

“How do, ma’am, Mr. Ridley,” Joe said, tipping his tap to the pair.  “Thought we’d come by to see you off but it looks like you’ve got your hands full here.  Maybe we shouldn’t stay too long.”

“Nonsense!” cried Mrs. Ridley.  “Come on into the house and visit a spell.  These two can look after themselves,” she indicated, waving her hand towards the two men loading the wagon.  Dismounting from their horses, Jenny and Joe followed the pair into the house.

Quickly clearing off a few chairs, Mrs. Ridley freed up a few places for them to sit at the table.  “I’ve got some coffee on the stove yet.  Would you like some?” she offered.

Eyeing Jenny and seeing her slight nod, Joe answered, “Yes, ma’am.  That would be nice.”

Filling the four coffee cups, Mrs. Ridley set them on the table, all of them taking sips before the conversation began.

“Well, it looks like you’ve almost got everything ready,” Joe observed.

“Yeah,” sighed Mrs. Ridley.  “Always is more work than you think it’s gonna be, though.  I tell you, I can’t wait till we get to Fresno and get settled in.  Ain’t that right, Hank?” Mrs. Ridley turned to her husband, silently sipping his coffee.

“Yes, Harriet,” her taciturn husband agreed.

Looking around her at the small cozy room, Jenny asked, “But aren’t you sorry to be leaving?” And then realizing maybe her question wasn’t very tactful, she blushed a little as she apologized, “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have asked that.  Of course you’re sorry to be leaving.”

“Well, now, ain’t nothing wrong with your asking.  You know, I’m not as sorry as I thought I’d be.  Why I guess it’s just time to be moving on.  Me and Hank here,” Mrs. Ridley paused to place her hand over her husband’s on the table, “we’ve had a good life here.  Raised all our young’uns here and now, well, now it’s time to move on.  Running a ranch and keeping a house, well, they both take a lot of work and we’ve both worked hard at it.  Now it’s time to take it a little easier.  ‘Sides, it’ll be nice to see our children and grandchildren more.”

Nodding his head in agreement to his wife’s words, Mr. Ridley reached into his pocket to pulled out his pipe.  Remembering they had company, he eyed the pair before lighting up, “I hope you don’t mind if I smoke my pipe?  The smell don’t bother you none?”

“Of course not, Mr. Ridley,” Jenny answered.  “You go right ahead.  I…I like the smell of a pipe.  My father-in-law smokes a pipe, you know,” Jenny said, as Joe smiled a little at her confession.

“Speaking of yer Pa, Joe,” Mrs. Ridley turned to Little Joe, “you be sure and tell him how much Hank and me….well, how good a neighbour he’s been to us all these years.”

“Yes, ma’am, I’ll be sure and tell him you said so,” Joe dutifully replied.  “But he’s in town right now himself and I know he intends to see you off at the stage.”

Nodding in understanding, Mrs. Ridley continued, “Yeah, sure been a good neighbour.  You know, Hank and me were mighty worried at one time.  The way yer Pa was buying up all the land around us, till our ranch was surrounded by Ponderosa land.  We were mighty scared yer Pa would try and force us out or something, I guess.  But no, he never pressured us to sell or to leave.  Even helped us out a few times.  No, yer Pa’s been mighty good to us,” she stated, turning to meet her husband’s eyes.  “So, it just feels right that we sold the place to him now.  He sure waited long enough for it,” she teased a little.

“Say, Joe,” Mr. Ridley interrupted, the thought just occuring to him, “do you suppose yer Pa would want any of the horse stock we got left?  They’s just gonna be sent to auction in Virginia City otherwise.”

“Well, I dunno, Mr. Ridley, but I could take a look,” Joe answered, as the men got up and headed to the door.  Turning back at the door, Mr. Ridley offered apologetically, “Now, er, Harriet, we won’t be too long.”

“See that you ain’t,” Mrs. Ridley barked, not really minding, as the men turned and left.  Why this would give her a chance to talk with the young Mrs. Cartwright. Such a pretty little thing she was, too.  Turning to her young companion, Mrs. Ridley sighed, “Yeah, I’ll miss the place, tis the truth.  But there’s some things I won’t be missing, that’s for sure.”

“Oh?  Like what?” Jenny inquired politely.

“Well, I won’t have to do the cooking no more,” she stated emphatically.

“You…you don’t like to cook?” Jenny asked, her interest suddenly piqued.

Shaking her head, Mrs. Ridley leaned in conspiratorially to confess, “Just between the two of us, I can’t cook worth a damn.” 

Her eyes widening at the forthright admission, Jenny smiled, suddenly for some reason liking Mrs. Ridley an awful lot.

“Hey, may as well show you around the place a little, if you want,” Mrs. Ridley suggested, suddenly moving out of her chair as Jenny followed suit.  “Seeing  how it’ll be empty from now on.  Though just what Ben Cartwright intends to do with all this furniture I don’t know.”  Mrs. Ridley took Jenny from room to room of the small frame house, giving a running commentary of the place.  “Now it ain’t got but three bedrooms, one down here and two upstairs, so the young’uns allus had to double up.  Oh, and this here cookstove come all the way from San Francisco.  Hank bought it fer me, I reckon it’d be about five years ago now.  I guess he thought it’d make me a better cook.  Coulda told him not to waste his money there!” she chuckled.  “Oh, and the fireplace is sound, throws a real good heat.  Place ain’t never cold, even in the dead o’ winter.”

Listening as Mrs. Ridley led her from room to room, Jenny felt the stirrings of something in her heart.  Her woman’s heart.   Pushing the feelings away, she silently shook her head to herself.  No, Joe had never mentioned a place of their own.  He was quite content to live at the big ranch house with his father, brother and his brother’s wife.  And if Joe was content, then she was too, she told herself.  Besides, Mrs. Ridley likely wouldn’t want someone else living in the house she’d lived in for so long.  It was best just to put any idea along those lines out of her head.

“Shore do hate to see the place go empty, though,” Mrs. Ridley was saying, jolting Jenny out of her thoughts.  Truth was, she really did hate to see the place go empty.  Why it would likely deteriorate inside of five years and either fall down or need to be torn down.  “Yes, shore do hate to see the place go empty,” Mrs. Ridley repeated, a small sigh in her voice.

“Wagon’s ready, Harriet,” Mr. Ridley poked his head in the door to announce.

“Oh my,” Harriet answered, suddenly flustered as she looked around her.  “My shawl, where’s my shawl?”

Looking around her and spotting the crocheted shawl on a nearby chair, Jenny went to retrieve it, bringing it over to Mrs. Ridley.

“Oh, thank you, my dear,” Mrs. Ridley said in appreciation.  “I don’t know where my head is at.  Well, I guess this is goodbye,” she said, meeting Jenny’s eyes.  “I hope….I hope I’ll see you again some day,” she said, as Jenny nodded.

“I hope so, too, Mrs. Ridley,” Jenny said with sincerity as Mrs. Ridley turned towards the door.

Following behind her, Jenny paused on the porch, watching as Mr. Ridley was about to help his wife into the wagon.  Her hand reaching out to still his actions, Mrs. Ridley suddenly turned to look back at Jenny.  Why, if this girl didn’t remind her of herself at that age.  And she’d seen the thoughtful look on her face back there in the house.  Yes, a thoughtful look, it was.  With a little longing in it.  A decision made, she suddenly left her husband’s side to move back before Jenny.  Reaching out, she impulsively hugged the young woman, whispering in her ear as she did so, “It’s okay, really.  I’d hate to see the place go empty,” she said, pulling back and giving Jenny’s arm a gentle squeeze as she eyed her pointedly.  “Maybe….maybe Hank and I could come back for a visit once or twice, that is, if you decide to…to…well, never mind,” she ended evasively as Jenny raised her brows in surprise.

“If we decide to what, Mrs. Ridley?” Jenny asked perplexed.

“If you decide to….well, I shore do hate to see the place go empty,” she repeated her earlier statement.  “Well, I’ve got to get going now.  My Hank is waiting for me,” she announced, heading back to the wagon.

Little Joe moved over from his spot on the other side of the wagon to shake Mr. Ridley’s hand and wish them both luck on their trip and their new life.  The wagon pulling away, Jenny and Joe watched as the couple receded into the horizon.  Turning to his wife, Joe said, “Well, I guess we’d better get on home, Jenny.”

A thoughtful look on her face once again as she digested Mrs. Ridley’s parting words, Jenny turned to look at Joe.  “Joe…could I….could I look at the barn before we go?” she asked.

“The barn?” Joe asked, puzzled at his wife’s strange request.  “Well, if you really want to….,” he answered, watching as his wife quickly walked past him in the direction of that very building.

Following  her inside the sturdy struction, Joe watched as his wife surveyed the room, wondering at her strange behaviour.

Jenny eyed the inside of the barn.  Good roomy stalls, sturdy construction that would keep out the winter chill.  Roof was in good repair.  Yes, Lightening would like this very much, she thought, a pleased smile on her face.  Casually she remarked to her husband, “It’s a nice barn, isn’t it, Joe?”

“Hmm, it’s nice.  For a barn,” Joe answered disinterestedly.

Not giving up, Jenny persisted, “Why, it’d be hard to build a barn so fine as this, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, I suppose,” Joe answered, still disinterested.  “Say Jenny, are you ready to go yet?” he prompted.

Turning suddenly to look sharply at her husband at his innocent question, Jenny felt a pang in her heart.  Joe wasn’t interested in the barn, or the house.  There wasn’t any use getting her hopes up, she decided, steeling her heart a little at the disappointment. 

“Yeah, Joe, I’m ready to go,” she answered, slowly turning to head out of the room.
Chapter 4
********

“More coffee, Katherine?” Ben asked his daughter-in-law as they sat outside by the table at the front of the Ponderosa ranch house. 

“Oh, no thanks, I’m fine,” Katherine replied, turning to smile at her father-in-law.  Turning back she looked out over to the courtyard where Adam was leading their daughter around on a small pony.

“I can’t thank you enough for getting Beth that pony.  She sure is having a good time with him.  And I think Adam is too,” she added teasingly.

“Well, nothing’s too good for my granddaughter….and my son,” Ben teased back, as they shared a conspiratorial smile.

A small silence falling between the two as they continued watching the riding lesson, Katherine turned to look at her father-in-law.  “Uh…,” she faltered in her address, never sure what to call her father-in-law…Pa…Ben…father?  Skipping over that particular dilemma for the moment, she launched into her topic.  “Uh…I was wondering if I could ask you something?”

“Why, of course you can, Katherine,” Ben replied, a little surprised.

“I was wondering…I was wondering about the music box Adam has.”

“Music box?” Ben echoed.

“Yeah, I think…I think it was his mother’s,” Katherine clarified.

Nodding his head, Ben face took on a thoughtful expression.  “What about the music box, Katherine?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could tell me more about it.”

“Well, there’s not a lot to tell,” Ben answered, surprised that she hadn’t gone to Adam with her questions.  “It belonged to his mother, my first wife.  I gave it to her when we were courting.  And when she….,” Ben hesitated over the painful memory, “…when she died, I kept it for Adam.”

“I guess…I guess it means a lot to him then?” Katherine fished.

“Yes, I think it does,” Ben concurred.  A sudden memory coming to him he continued, “You know, I can still remember how he used to play that music box late into the night when he was just a little boy.  Played it until he fell asleep.  I think…I think it made him feel that his mother was still with us, that some part of her was still here with us,” he observed.

Absorbing her father-in-law’s words, words that twisted painfully into her heart, Katherine continued, still piecing the information together.  “So, then you brought the music box all the way from the east?” she asked, remembering that Adam had told her his mother died in Boston.

“Hmm,” Ben nodded.

“But…but…how is it that it never got broken?  I mean, a long trip like that, under rough conditions.  And…and…Adam, he was just a little boy.  Little boys break things.”

Chuckling at her observation, Ben countered, “Little boys, yes.  Adam, no.  He was always much too responsible.  No,” Ben stated, “I never worried about Adam breaking the music box.  When you love something, you protect it, and Adam loved that music box.”

Sucking her breath in sharply at Ben’s words, the knife twisting deeper into her heart, Katherine rose suddenly.  “I think Beth has had enough for today.  We really should be going now.”  Turning suddenly, she headed towards her husband and child, Ben staring after her, a puzzled expression on his face.
Chapter 5
********
A week later…

Pulling up her buggy beside the lake, Katherine Cartwright got down for a moment to stroll leisurely to the water’s edge.  It was so beautiful, so peaceful, she marveled, inhaling deeply the fresh pine-scented air while nearby two bluejays nattered noisily to each other.  Sitting on a tree log not far away, she relaxed for a moment, allowing herself this small indulgence before, she told herself, before she’d get up and continue on in to town.

Not more than a few minutes passed when Katherine heard the pounding hooves of several horses approaching.  Someone, or several someones, were travelling fast from the north.  Getting up Katherine scanned the trees around her, just as three riders burst from the dense growth, startling her with their nearness.  Startled themselves, the three riders wildly pulled their horses up in front of the lone figure, one of them instinctively reaching for his gun and firing.

Reeling backwards as the bullet sank into her shoulder, Katherine crumpled to the ground, the sudden sharp pain rendering her immobile and almost unconscious.

“Why’d you do that, Clem?” one of the horsemen berated the other, trying to control his agitated horse.

“I didn’t know it was just a woman,” the other man defended himself. 

“Well, we can’t stay here.  Let’s go.  That sheriff’ll be after us soon enough,” the third man coaxed his co-horts into action.

Riding away the three bank robbers left the woman where she had fallen, wounded and bleeding and alone.
**********************

Riding along the road from Virginia City, Adam Cartwright anxiously scanned the horizon.  Katherine was late getting home.  He’d gone into town after her only to discover two disturbing facts.  One, Katherine had never made it to town.  And two, the bank had been robbed that morning by three men who’d ridden out of town heading south.  If ever he’d harboured a feeling that something was terribly wrong, it was now.  Suddenly on impulse, Adam turned his horse to follow the path beside the lake.

Spotting a buggy in the distance not too far away, Adam urged his horse faster.  Coming up to the empty buggy his heart sank.  Katherine’s buggy was here but what had happened to Katherine?  Moving closer, he spotted a crumpled form on the ground.  Pulling up his horse, he dismounted quickly, moving to to kneel next to the body of his wife, as her soft moans reached his ears.

“Katherine!” he exclaimed.

“Adam….,” Katherine’s voice was almost inaudible.

“Don’t try to talk,” Adam ordered.  Quickly he reached for her cloth shawl laying on the ground nearby, ripping the garment between his hands.  Moving to the water’s edge he wet the cloth, coming back to his wife to gently press the cloth to her wound. 

“Adam….,” Katherine moaned.

“Shh, Katherine.”

“I…I…,” Katherine tried to speak.  “I’ve been waiting for you,” she finally breathed, a feeble attempt at humour.

“Katherine, don’t try to talk,” Adam ordered again.

“Three men….,” Katherine tried to explain what had happened, ignoring her husband’s order.  “Three men…on horses….one of them…one of them shot me.”

Nodding his head, Adam informed her, “I know.  Three men robbed the Virginia City bank this morning.”

“Adam?” Katherine breathed his name.

“Yes, Katherine?” 

“It…it hurts, Adam,” she said, her voice small and vulnerable.

His heart panging painfully at her words, Adam soothed, “I know it hurts, Katherine.  Shh, it’ll be alright soon.”  Looking up to where the buggy was parked, Adam spoke, looking back down at his wife, “I have to get you home Katherine.  I have to get you to the buggy. I’m going to lift you up….it’ll hurt a little more, Katherine, but not for long, I promise.”

“Okay…okay, Adam,” Katherine breathed back to him.

Sliding his arms under her, Adam gently lifted his wife from the ground.  The movement causing a new wave of pain to jolt through her, Katherine cried out, her body tightening as Adam clenched his teeth fighting his own pain.  Standing fully, he turned towards the buggy, suddenly feeling his wife go limp in his arms.  She’d passed out, he realized.  Passed out from the pain.  Grimly he headed to the buggy, worry etched on his face.  She would not die!  She. Would.  Not.  Die!  In this moment of great crisis, Adam Cartwright, great lover of literature and words in all their diverse variations, found in his heart one simple silent prayer.

Please, please, please.
Chapter 6
********

“Pa…Pa…let me and Joe go.  Adam needs you with him,” Hoss was saying, as they stood in the great room of the Ponderosa, a ranch hand arriving with the news that Katherine had been shot, caught in the path of three bank robbers fleeing their crime.

“Yeah, Pa, no use all of us going,” Joe added, as Jenny and Annie eyed each other with worry.  “We’ll make sure…we’ll make sure the posse brings them in.  You can count on us.”

Nodding to his sons, Ben agreed, worry written on his face.  Reaching out he clasped the forearms of his two sons.  “I know I can count on you both.  I’ve never doubted that.”

The decision made between the three, Joe turned to Jenny as Annie suddenly turned from the room and headed towards the kitchen.

“Joe?” Jenny’s voice was uncertain.

Seeing her fear, Joe soothed his wife.  “Don’t worry, Jenny, everything’ll be fine.”  Reaching out he touched her arm, feeling her tremors.  Suddenly Jenny flung her arms around his neck in a fierce hug as Joe’s arms went instinctively around her back.

“I…I love you, Joe,” she whispered feverently.

“I love you, Jenny,” he whispered back, and then, aware that they weren’t alone, he pulled back as Jenny slid her hands from around his neck to rest on his chest.  “I’d better get the horses ready,” Joe whispered, looking down at Jenny as she stared at her hands as they rested palms flat to his chest.  Her husband squeezing her arm reassuringly, Jenny answered with a silent nod of understanding.  Blinking a few times, Joe pulled away and headed to the door.

Puzzled by his wife’s sudden departure, Hoss followed Annie to the kitchen.  “Annie?” he asked, coming upon his wife as she moved busily about.

“I’m just getting a few things together for you, Hoss,” Annie called to him, her back to him, a slight quaver in her voice.  “You might not get a chance to stop.”  Moving closer, Hoss approached his wife as she continued her activity.  “I’ve got some jerky and a couple of canteens and….,” she stopped, as Hoss reached his arm out to still her, her voice quavering dangerously close to tears.

Turning Annie to face him, Hoss put a finger to her chin, raising her face to read her eyes.  Seeing her worry, Hoss’s tone was firm, “Now Annie, don’t you worry none.  Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me or Joe.  I ain’t gonna let it.  I ain’t gonna let nothing stop me from coming home to you and Buck, d’you hear me?”

Nodding her understanding, Annie answered, “I hear you, Hoss,” as she blinked a few times.  Pulling her roughly to him, Hoss lowered his head to place a hard kiss to her lips, straightening suddenly to reach for the canteens and supplies before turning quickly from the room, his wife watching his departure.
Chapter 7
********

“Adam…,” Annie’s voice was hesitant, as she approached her brother-in-law.  Ben, Jenny and Annie, who’d left Buck in Hop Sing’s care, had come to Adam’s large ranch house as he waited for word  from the doctor on his wife’s prognosis.  “Adam, could you talk to Beth for a minute?”  At Adam’s questioning look, Annie elaborated. “It’s just…it’s just she knows something is wrong,” Annie explained, eyeing Adam with sympathy.

Nodding his head in understanding, Adam questioned, “Where is she?”

“Jenny’s playing with her out back,” Annie answered.

“Adam….,” Ben approached the pair.  “Adam, you’ve got enough to worry about right now.  I’ll talk to Beth if you want,” he offered.

“No, Pa,” Adam replied, reaching out to touch his father’s arm both in appreciation of his offer and to soften his words.  “She needs to hear it from me, from her father,” he explained, as Ben nodded in understanding.

Turning, Adam proceded out to the back of the house, not quite sure just what he was going to say to the child.  How did you explain to a 3-year old child that her mother had been shot, would maybe die?  She was too young to understand, wasn’t she?  Shaking his head, the memories of his own childhood came flooding back.  His father telling him his own mother was dead when he was old enough to ask.  The deaths of his two stepmothers.  Was such pain now to be bestowed on another child?  His child?  His daughter?

Approaching Jenny and Beth as they played quietly in the grass, Beth’s dolls spread on the ground before them, Adam met Jenny’s eyes in a silent communication.  Seeing that Adam wanted a moment alone with his daughter, Jenny got up from her spot, telling the child as she did so, “Beth, I have to go inside for a little while but I’ll be back, okay?”

Looking up at her aunt, Beth nodded, seeing her father approach and move to take Jenny’s place on the ground.

“Hey, are you playing with your dolls?” Adam asked, broaching the conversation.

Nodding her head vigorously, Beth explained, “I’m playin’ house.”

“Oh,” Adam held the word, as if in a sudden understanding.  “You’re playing house,” he repeated.

Beth pointed to her dolls individually.  “Mama, Papa, Beff,” she named them one-by-one.

“Papa?!” Adam pretended to be affronted as he pointed to the girl-doll Beth had indicated was him.  “Is that me?” he teased his daughter.

Giggling, Beth repeated the doll’s identification, an air of authority in her voice.  “Papa,” her voice was firm as she pointed to the doll.

“Well, if you say so,” he agreed with mock reluctance, as Beth giggled some more.

“And…and this one?” Adam pointed to the Mama doll.

“Mama,” Beth obediently recanted.

Picking the Mama doll up from off the ground, Adam turned the doll around in his hand as he peered down at it, hesitating over what to say.  Not knowing how to put it into words.

“Mama…Mama sick,” Beth suddenly announced into the silence.

Looking sharply over at his daughter, Adam corrected gently, “Mama’s not sick, Beth.  She’s hurt.” 

Beth stared at her father silently a moment, her eyes wide with trust.   “Hurt….like this?” she finally asked, extending her hand to show her father the small bandage she wore on a cut to her finger.

Suppressing a small smile at his daughter’s analogy, Adam tried to explain.  “Well, not on her finger.  It’s here, near her shoulder,” he said, putting down the doll, and laying his hand on his body near his shoulder.  “And it’s bigger.  A big hurt.”

Watching her father as he held his hand to his shoulder, Beth’s expression was puzzled in childlike confusion as she asked, “Papa hurt too?” 

“No, Beth,” Adam removed his hand from his shoulder, thinking he’d managed to confuse the child.  “I’m not hurt,” he said, adding, in a low voice to himself, “not on the outside, just on the inside,” as he lowered his head to stare at the ground, thinking he wasn’t doing a very good job explaining it all to Beth. 

Suddenly scrambling from her place on the ground, Beth moved forward on her knees covering the short distance to her father, as Adam looked up at his daughter’s approach.  Grabbing onto his arm to pull herself up, Beth wrapped her arms around her father’s neck.  “Beff hurt too,” she announced, as Adam stiffened in surprise at the child’s understanding of their shared hurt.  His wife.  Her mother.

Wrapping his arms around his daughter, he held her close, sinking his head next to hers, not sure if he was comforting her or she was comforting him and then realizing it really didn’t matter.
Chapter 8
********

“How is she?” Adam anxiously asked the doctor as he emerged from the bedroom.

“Well, I got the bullet out alright but…but…,” Dr. Martin’s voice trailed off.

“But?” Adam prompted.

“Well, she’s lost a lot of blood.  I’ll be frank with you, Adam, it’s a pretty serious wound, being shot at that close range.  The next 12 hours are critical.  If she makes it through that….but even if she does…..,” the doctor hestitated.

“What?  ‘But even if she does’ then what?” 

“Well, it’s just…it’s just…I don’t know about the baby, Adam.  It’s too soon to know for sure but, like I said, she’s lost a lot of blood and the trauma of the injury…well, if she DOESN’T lose the baby it’ll be a miracle.”  At the look of pain on Adam’s face, Dr. Martin reached out to squeeze his arm.  “All we can do now is pray and wait,” he said, as Adam nodded absently. 

“Can I…can I see her?  Can I sit with her?” Adam asked.

“Of course you can, Adam.  But just for a little while.  What she needs now more than anything is rest.”

Leaving the doctor, Adam approached the bedroom door, turning the handle before slipping quietly into the room.

***************

“How is she, son?” Ben asked as Adam returned to the great room some time later.

“The doctor says the next 12 hours are critical.  If she makes it through that….,” Adam didn’t finish the sentence.

“She’s a strong woman, Adam.  She’s a strong woman with a lot to live for,” Ben consoled his son.

“I know, Pa,” Adam said, sinking wearily onto the chair and placing his head into his hands.  “I know.”

Sitting on the low table before his son, Ben reached out to lay his hand on his son’s arm, a silent offering of comfort matched by Adam’s silent acceptance.
****************
“Hey, Sheriff!” Hoss called out, staring down at the tracks on the ground.

“What is it, Hoss?” Sherrif Coffee asked, coming over on his horse next to Hoss.

“Look,” Hoss pointed to the ground.  Fresh tracks were clearly visible in the soft ground.  “Three sets of tracks.  Heading east.”

“Come on!  This way!” the sherrif called to the other men as they turned quickly to follow the tracks.

****************

“We have to get her to settle down,” the doctor was saying, concern in his voice.  “If she breaks those stitches open….,” his voice trailed off, as he shook his head, knowing that if she started bleeding again it would be a serious complication.

“Katherine, Katherine,” Annie called to her sister-in-law, trying to reach her in her anguished delirium as she thrashed about on the bed.  “Katherine, you need to calm down,” Annie spoke to her, her voice firm as she placed her hands on her body and pressed her gently into the mattress.  “Katherine….,” she tried again, her sister-in-law not responding to her words as she continued to mumble incoherently.

“Something’s troubling her,” the doctor assessed.  “What is she saying?”

“I dunno,” Annie replied.  “Something…something about a music box.”

“Well, get her husband in here.  Maybe he can quiet her down,” the doctor commanded, as Annie left quickly to carry out his order.

Arriving quickly at the summons, Adam approached the bed, eyeing his wife with concern.  “What’s wrong?” he asked, as Annie watched from behind.

“She won’t settle down,” the doctor informed him.  “If she keeps thrashing around like this, she’ll break open the stitches and if that happens….,” he trailed off, the dire consequences apparent from his tone.

“Katherine,” Adam immediately turned to his wife, using the same firm tone Annie had tried.  “Katherine, you have to be quiet.  You need to settle down.”

“I didn’t mean to….,” Katherine moaned, her eyes closed as her head rolled from side to side, an imaginary scenario playing itself out in her mind.

“Katherine, you need to rest.  Rest now,” Adam implored, sitting beside her now on the bed, leaning over her as he placed his hands on her to restrain her.

“Adam?  Adam?” Katherine moaned, his voice permeating her senses.

“Yes, Katherine, I’m here.  You need to rest,” he commanded, worry in his tone.

“I’m sorry, Adam.  I didn’t mean to…..,” Katherine apologized, as she continued thrashing, still lost in her own world.

“Katherine, please!” Adam implored his wife to cease her anguish.  Turning desperately to the others he asked, “Why is she so upset?  Is she in pain?” 

“She’s worried about something,” Annie answered, coming forward.  “She keeps mumbling something about a music box.”

Turning back, Adam stared at his wife.  The music box!  All this because of the music box? 

“I didn’t mean to break it,” Katherine was saying, her voice pleading, her head turning from side to side in her anguish.  “Adam…I didn’t mean to hurt you.  Please…please forgive me,” she called out to the imaginary Adam in her mind, her hand fisting as she clenched the bedsheets.

“Katherine, it’s alright.  It’s alright, Katherine,” Adam was quick to reassure her.  “I….I forgive you,” he soothed, seeking to end his wife’s torment, as a cold hand reached out to squeeze his heart in a painful vice.  “Shhh, Katherine, I forgive you,” he repeated, his only thought now to ease her mind in the only way he could.  “Rest now, Katherine,” he pleaded.

His words reaching her through the fog of her delirium, Katherine stilled, finally hearing the long-awaited words of forgiveness.  The tension slowly leaving her body at his absolving words, she eased her grip on the sheets, her mind and body at peace as she relaxed into the bed, her head tilted wearily to the side.

Adam stared down at his wife, peaceful now as she slept, a solitary tear trickling      from the corner of her eye down the side of her face into her hair.  Reaching out he touched the tear, brushing it away with his finger, his heart breaking at the telling sight.  What had he done to her?  Had she been carrying this pain inside her all this while?

“There, she’s resting now,” the doctor said approvingly.  “Let her rest for a while.”

Taking a final look at his wife, Adam got up from his place next to her and headed silently out of the room.  Going down the hall, he entered another room and proceeded with deliberate purpose to the wardrobe closet.  Flinging the door wide, he reached in to pull out the hatbox inside.  Ripping off the lid, he reached inside, grasping the broken music box in his hand as the rest of the hatbox dropped to the floor.  His arm shaking with the strength of his grip and his jaw clenched, he turned suddenly and hurled the small object with all his force against the stone fireplace.

Shattering on impact, fragments of the fragile porcelain box scattered onto the floor, irreparably broken into a million tiny pieces.

Chapter 9
*********

“Well, we can’t track them in the dark,” Sherrif Coffee stated.  “We’ll have to make camp here tonight and pick up the trail at dawn.”

“Sherrif, you can’t mean to let them get that much lead on us!” Little Joe Cartwright complained, breathing hard in dismay.  “We’ll never find them if we give up now!”

“Now, Joe Cartwright, I’m the one heading up this posse and I say we start out again at dawn.  Ain’t no use just wandering around in the dark and you know it as well as I,” the sherrif reiterated his stance.

“Joe…Joe…come on, Joe,” Hoss coaxed his younger brother, still breathing hard from his challenge to the sherrif.  “You know the sherrif’s right.  We can’t find ’em in the dark.  Ain’t no use atryin’,” he said, leading his brother away from his confrontation with the lawman.

Moving towards their horses, Hoss moved to unsaddle his mount as his brother watched.  Moving his hand to stop his brother’s actions, Joe asked, “Hoss, why don’t you and me keep going?  We don’t need to stay with the posse, Hoss.  We can find them on our own.”

“Find them and do what, Joe?” Hoss asked pointedly. 

“What they deserve, Hoss,” Joe ground out slowly.

“Joe…,” Hoss’s voice held a warning.  “Don’t even think it, Joe.  No matter how much they deserve it, we can’t.”

“Why not, Hoss?  After what they did to….she might even be dead, Hoss.  She might be dead, right now.  Do you think Adam would blame us for anything we did?  I think he’d thank us.  That’s what I think, Hoss.  I think he’d thank us.”

“Joe, we can’t take the law into our own hands.  No matter what.  I intend to bring them in, Joe.  Bring them in and see them hang but it’s gotta be done with the law on our side.  It’s the only way.  It’s the way our Pa taught us, Joe.  It’s the way he’d want it and the way Adam’d want it too.”

“But this is different, Hoss.  This is Adam’s wife.  She didn’t even have a gun on her and they shot her.  Why should we follow the law when it’s our family they’ve attacked, our brother they might have widowed.”

Shaking his head, Hoss tried to put it into words, “Joe, don’t you see?  It’s easy to say let the law handle it when it’s someone else’s family you’re talking about.  It’s hard when it’s your own kin.  But that’s when it matters the most, Joe.  When it’s the hardest.  That’s what our Pa taught us, Joe.  I know it and you know it and I ain’t about to go agin that teaching now, no matter how hard it is.”  Putting his hand on his brother’s shoulder, Hoss consoled, “I know you mean well, Joe.  I know…I know you’re only thinking of Adam but I can’t side with you on this.”

Nodding his head at his brother’s words, Joe said, “You’re right, Hoss.  I was only thinking of Adam and what I’d feel if anyone did this to…to Jenny.”

“I know, Joe,” Hoss nodded, pushing away a similar thought about Annie.  Turning, Hoss removed his horse’s saddle, shaking his head as he thought.  God only knew what Adam was going through right now.

Chapter 10
*********

Moaning softly, Katherine Cartwright turned her head on the pillow as she tried to rouse her brain from its foggy depths.  Why was she so sore? she wondered.  Her whole body ached, it seemed, and especially her shoulder.  That part of her seemed to be on fire.

Hearing her soft moans, the doctor alerted the man in the chair next to his wife.  “I think she’s coming to.”

Sitting to attention at the doctor’s words, Adam’s eyes travelled over his wife’s face.  She was still moaning, her eyelids fluttering as she fought for consciousness.

Iniside herself, Katherine’s mind was indecisive.  She was in a quiet, dark place.  A peaceful place.  But there was another place that beckoned her.  This other place…it was far away, hard to reach.  It would be so easy to stay, stay here in the cool dark.  But the other place called to her, this other place that seemed to be filled with light and life.  Somehow realizing she had to reach this other place, Katherine moved towards it, her steps painful and tiring. 

“Katherine.”

Now someone was calling her.  Calling to her from that other place.  She tried to answer but could not.

“Katherine, can you hear me?”  The voice again.

Hearing it, Katherine struggled harder, walking a path towards the place and the voice, now knowing the place held something else too.  She’d heard it in that voice.  There was….love. 

“Adam?” she managed to breathe, all her efforts concentrated into that one word.

“Katherine.”  Her name again.  That voice.  She felt a gentle touch to her face.  Taking the final laboured step, she reached the end of the path, reached the place of light and life and love.

“Adam.” Her eyes fluttering open, Katherine met her husband’s gaze.

“How do you feel?”  Adam asked her gently.

“I….I hurt,” she answered with a weak smile, taking a mental inventory of her body as bits of memory came back to her.  Sitting by the lake.  Hearing riders approach.  Startled by them and then…and then…the gunshot.  And then pain.  And then the wait.  Waiting for Adam and hoping she wouldn’t lose the….Suddenly jolting as the realization struck her, Katherine moved her hand to her stomach, her eyes opening wide in apprehension.  “Adam!” she cried.

Moving his hand over his wife’s, Adam was quick to inform her.  “No, Katherine.  You haven’t lost the baby,” he reassured her with the words and the gesture.  “We haven’t lost the baby,” he corrected himself, his voice gentle.

Relaxing in relief, Katherine’s body sighed into the bed, a small smile of relief touching her lips as she closed her eyes.

“Let her rest some more,” the doctor was saying, as Adam pulled his hand away from atop of his wife’s as it rest on her stomach.  Nodding his head, he pulled further away, turning to meet the doctor’s eyes.  “I’ll think she’ll be alright, Adam,” the doctor informed him as Adam closed his eyes momentarily, taking in the words in thankful relief.  Meeting the doctor’s eyes again, he nodded, then moved past the doctor towards the door.

From her place on the bed, Katherine was unaware of her husband’s departure as she rested, surprisingly content.  Content that she’d reached what she’d struggled so hard to reach. 

Light and life and…love.

*****************

Coming down the stairs, the air eerily lit by the early morning sunrise, Adam paused for a second at the sight before him.  His father was slumped in the chair by the fire, fast asleep, his head resting on his hand propped on his elbow.  A shadowy growth of beard clung to his face, the sooty appearance adding a strangely endearing look to his face.  Continuing down the stairs, Adam approached his father, sitting on the low table before him, and gently reached out his hand to touch his arm.

Startled by the contact, Ben suddenly shook awake, puzzled a moment by his surroundings as his gaze fell upon the familiar face of his son.  Suddenly flooded with memory, he lurched forward to exclaim, “Adam!  Is everything….is everything…?” somehow he couldn’t finish the question.

“Everything’s fine, Pa.  Katherine is going to be alright,” Adam reassured his father, the words reassuring to his own ears.

Reaching his hands out to clasp his son’s forearms, Ben squeezed, “I’m so relieved to hear it, son.  So relieved.”

Eyeing his father as he nodded his head, Adam tried to find the words, words that somehow seemed very important to say right now.  “Pa….,” he began, not sure how to proceed.

“What is it, son?” Ben asked, seeing that Adam was struggling with something.

He had to tell him, Adam thought.  He had to try.  “Pa, I didn’t know.  I never knew, Pa.  I’m sorry.”

“Adam?” Ben was puzzled by his son’s words.

“I never knew, Pa.  What it must have been like for you,” Adam continued, still struggling for the words to express himself.

What it was like for him? Ben wondered at Adam’s meaning, sensing that Adam was trying to console him.  Him?  It was Adam who needed his father now, not the other way around.  Whatever did he mean?  “Never knew what, Adam?” Ben asked.

“I never knew what you must have gone through,” Adam explained.  “Not till now.  What it must have been like…to lose your wife,” he finally managed, dropping his head.  “I don’t know how you….I don’t know how you carried on, Pa.  I…I don’t think I could have.  I know…I know I couldn’t have,” he confessed, his voice cracking as his shoulders began to shake.  “I never thanked you, Pa.  For carrying on, for me, for Hoss and Joe.  You’re…you’re a better man than I’ll ever be, Pa,” Adam cried, all his pain and fear and thankfulness poured out in his words as he cried unashamedly before his father.

“Adam…Adam…” Ben pulled his son to him as he cried, his son’s head butted to his shoulder, one of Ben’s hands at the back of Adam’s neck, the other around his back.  It had been a long time since he’d seen his son cry.  Not this son.  Not since he was little boy and even then it never came easy to him.  He’d always fought the tears, wanting to be strong and brave no matter the pain.  Holding his son to him, he offered no words of comfort, just letting the tears flow unabated now that the secret trove had been unlocked from Adam’s heart.  They were both grown men but at this moment they were just a father and his son.  A parent and his child.  Bonded by pain, redeemed by love.
Chapter 11
*********

Pulling his gun on the other two men, Clem Dixon called out his demand, “Now just throw that saddle bag over here nice and easy like.”

“Clem! Clem!  Why’re doing this?  We’re in this together, remember?” one of the other men pleaded with his accomplice.

“Not no more we ain’t,” Clem answered sharply.  Not with one lame horse and one collapsed from exhaustion.  They shouldn’t have tried to keep going through the night.  They should have stopped and rested themselves and the horses but they’d been overcome by the urge to push on instead of behaving rationally.  And they hadn’t made much progress anyway, unknowingly going in circles.  Waving his gun before the other two men, Clem ordered, “Now hand over that money!” 

Pretending to reach for the money bag, one of the other men reached for his gun instead, his action rewarded with a bullet to his chest as Clem fired.  The second man also reaching for his gun now that fireplay had been initiated, his effort was also met with a fatal shot near his heart.  The two men on the ground before him, Clem Dixon snorted in disgust.  They coulda lived.  He woulda let them live but they’d wanted the money too.  And now they were dead and he was alive.  Stepping over the prone forms, Clem grabbed the money bag, turning back to mount the remaining horse.
*******************

Coming up on the two bodies sprawled in the dirt, Hoss Cartwright bend low over one of the bodies, feeling for a pulse.  Not finding one, he moved to the other, repeating the process as Joe and the other men trained their guns on the bodies, in case it was all a trick of some kind.  Looking up at the men standing around him, Hoss shook his head.  “No, they’re dead alright.”

“Well, that leaves just one,” Joe observed, returning his gun to his holster as he and the others moved to remount their horses.
******************

Slumping in his saddle Clem Dixon pulled the horse to a stop.  He had to rest a minute.  Just a minute, he told himself.  He’d been riding non-stop since the morning of the day before with no sleep and now it was all catching up to him.  Sliding from the saddle onto the ground, he closed his eyes.  Just for a moment, he told himself.  Just for a moment.

*****************

Jolting awake at the sound of approaching riders, Clem Dixon cursed himself.  He’d fallen asleep.  Of all the stupid, idiotic things to do!  Scrambling to his horse, he mounted swiftly, turning away and urging his horse forward at break-neck speed.

Seeing the rider up ahead, the men forming the posse picked up speed and followed in pursuit.  Looking behind him, Clem Dixon saw that he was losing ground, his tired horse no match for the fresh riders pursuing him.  Suddenly dismounting, he scrambling up a hill, wedging himself behind a large rock, thinking  he wasn’t going out without a fight.  Drawing his gun, he aimed it down below.
Chapter 12
*********

“Hoss!” Annie cried out at the sight of her husband riding up to Adam’s ranch house on his horse, his brother at his side.  Picking up her skirts, Annie ran to meet him as Hoss dismounted his horse to pull her into his arms.

“Annie?” Hoss posed his question about Katherine with the single word.

“She’s fine, Hoss.  She pulled through.  Her and the baby,” Annie informed her husband, feeling him slump in relief as he held her.

“Joe! Hoss!” Ben shouted, coming out the front door as Joe dismounted his horse.  “What happened?  Did you bring them in?”

Shaking his head, Hoss explained, “Two of ’em were dead afore we got to ’em and the third, well, he tried to shoot his way out.” 

At his father’s questioning look, Little Joe answered his unasked question, “The sherrif shot him, Pa.  We would’ve brought him in alive, Pa, but the sherrif shot him saving one of our men,” as Ben nodded in understanding.

“Joe!” Jenny cried from the open door, only just arriving on the scene.  Running to her husband she flung herself into his arms.  “Joe, I was so worried!” Jenny cried.

“I know, Jenny.  But I’m home now,” he comforted her as he held her in his arms.  “Annie said…Annie said Katherine’s going to be alright?”

Pulling back, Jenny nodded to her husband.  “The doctor says she’ll pull through,” she told him as a moment of thankful silence passed between them all. 

*****************

Approaching his two brothers in the great room of his home a little later, Adam hesitated, not sure what to say.  “Thank you,” he finally managed, the words seemingly inadequate.  Reaching out, he touched  his brother’s arms.  “Thank you both,” he repeated, as his brothers nodded in silent understanding.
Chapter 13
**********

“Katherine, it’s time to change your dressing,” Adam said as he approached his wife in bed a week later, the tray of bandages in his hands.

Her eyes widening a little in alarm, Katherine countered, “No…no, I think I’ll wait for Annie, Adam.  She promised to come by later on.”

Mildly surprised by his wife’s response, Adam said, “Katherine, don’t be silly.  You need to have your dressing changed and I can do it as well as Annie.”  Setting the tray on the nightstand beside them, he sat on the bed next to his wife and reached over to pull the covers back.

Clasping the covers to her, Katherine again declined, “No, really, Adam.  I’d…I’d rather have Annie do it,” as a slight blush tinged her face.

Adam stared silently at his wife at this peculiar development, wondering what was the matter, Katherine’s blush deepending as she tilted her head away from him, averting her eyes from his.  “Alright, Katherine, if that’s what you want,” Adam replied slowly, thinking she didn’t trust his ability.

Overhearing the conversation as she entered the room, Jenny watched as her brother-in-law got up to leave the room.  Approaching the bed as he passed her, Jenny moved to sit on the chair next to the bed, seeing something that Adam hadn’t.  Watching Katherine for a moment, Jenny finally spoke, some hesitancy in her voice.  “You know…you know, I don’t think you need to worry about it, Katherine,” she informed her sister-in-law.

Looking at her sister-in-law in surprise, Katherine asked, “Worry about what?”

“About showing Adam your…your…,” she trailed off.  Changing tactics, she began again, “I remember when I first showed Joe my scars.  He was very sweet with me, Katherine.  I think…I think Adam would be the same way with you, Katherine…if you give him the chance,” she added pointedly.

“But Jenny…,” Katherine began to protest, stopping when she realized that Jenny understood better than she realized.  Katherine knew she wasn’t vain.  She just didn’t want Adam to see…to see…well, it wouldn’t be pretty, that was for sure.

“Really, Katherine,” Jenny was saying.  “They’re brothers, after all.  I’m sure Adam would be the same way.”

Sweet?  Adam sweet?  Katherine mulled over the idea as she debated.  “Okay, Jenny,” she finally agreed.  “Ask Adam to come back, will you?”

Smiling, Jenny got up to do as she was bidded.

Arrving a moment later, Adam approached his wife for the second time.  “Jenny says you changed your mind?”

“Yeah,” Katherine confirmed.  “I probably shouldn’t wait for Annie.”

“Good,” Adam approved.  “Can you sit up a little?” he asked as he moved to unwind the dressing as Katherine averted her eyes from him.  Carefully cleaning the wound, he applied a fresh dressing.  Admiring his handiwork, he said, “There.  All done.”

Finally looking over at her husband, Katherine stared at him a moment.  “Is that it?” she asked.

“Yeah, all done,” Adam repeated, matter-of-factly.

“All done?” Katherine echoed.  “But what about…what about…?”

“What about what, Katherine?”

“Jenny said…Jenny said you’d be sweet with me,” Katherine accused, a slight quiver in her voice.

Raising an eyebrow in surprise at her strange statement, Adam questioned, “Katherine, what are you talking about?”

“Sweet!” Katherine practically shouted the word, the quiver in her voice turning to the beginnings of a blubber.  “I was promised sweet!”

Sweet?  Totally baffled by this unfathomable demand, Adam stated, “Katherine, men aren’t sweet.”

“Joe is!” Katherine’s voice was accusing.  “Joe was sweet with Jenny when she showed him her scars.  Jenny said…Jenny said you’d be sweet too!”  At Adam’s uncomprehending look, Katherine commanded grumpily, waving her hand in the air, “Oh, just go away.  I should have known I wouldn’t get sweet.”

Puzzled and confused, Adam got up and left, sensing that Katherine had wanted something from him.  Just what, he had no idea, only that it had something to do with ‘sweet’.  Adam paused on the other side of the door before he headed down the stairs, his expression determined as a decision formed in his mind.

If Katherine wanted sweet, she would get sweet. 

Even if it killed him.
Chapter 14
**********

Hearing a rider approaching later that night, Adam opened the front door to see his little brother Joe riding up to the house.  Dismounting his horse, Little Joe approached the open door.

“Hey, Adam!” he greeted his older brother as he made to enter, only to be startled as Adam put his hand to his chest to halt him.

Turning to quickly look behind around the room behind him, Adam turned back to speak to his little brother, his voice deceptively casual, “Say…uh…Joe, wanna see that new bull I was telling you about?”

Snorting in disbelief, Joe answered, “No, Adam, I didn’t come here to see your new bull.  I came to pick up my wife, remember?” wondering at Adam’s question.

“Well, I…uh…I think’s she busy right now.  Why don’t we go have a look at that bull first?” Adam repeated his question, pushing his brother backwards out the door.

Thinking his brother had gone a little off the deep-end, Joe protested, “But it’s dark outside!”

“Now, now, there’s plenty of light yet.  Come on,” Adam coaxed, heading off into the darkness.

Pausing a second, Joe reluctantly followed his brother over to the corral to stand next to him by the fence.  Peering into the darkness, Joe squinted his eyes, trying to see.  “So where’s this bull, Adam?” Joe asked, wondering where he should be looking.

Waving his hand vaguely out towards the penned enclosure, Adam answered, his eyes on Joe and not the pen, “Oh, he’s out there somewhere,” his mind working on how to ask his question.

“I don’t see anything.  I told you it was too dark,” Joe protested again, shaking his head.

“No, no,” Adam encouraged, his mind working on his question, “just keep looking.  You’ll find him.”

Thinking again that his brother was a little off his rocker, Joe tilted his hat back a little on his head as he peered into the night.  Suddenly thinking he saw something, he tapped Adam’s chest with the back of his hand.  “Hey, over there!” he pointed.  “I think I see him.  Er….or maybe it’s just a bush,” he contradicted himself, disappointment in his tone as he eyed the nondescript blob.  Suddenly excited again, he exclaimed, “Hey, I think it moved!  It must be the bull!”, hopeful he’d finally found the elusive bull.

“Joe, will you shut up about the bull,” Adam ordered, slight annoyance in his voice.  He was trying to think how to formulate his question and it didn’t help to have his little brother nattering at him about some damn bull.

“Shut up about the bull!” Joe squeaked in protest, turning to look at his brother.  “You’re the one who wanted to look at the bull, not me!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adam dismissed his protest, moving on to his own agenda.  “Look, Joe,” he began casually, as he placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder, turning to look around him before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially, “I was wondering if I could ask your advice about something?”

Adopting his brother’s hushed tones, Joe repeated the question, “You wanna ask my advice about something?”

“Yeah,” Adam confirmed.  “Something about women.”

Almost choking Joe repeated unbelievingly, “You wanna ask my advice about women?”

“Yeah,” Adam continued.  “I was wondering….I was wondering,” Adam began, turning once again to look over his shoulder to survey the space around them, making sure they weren’t being overheard, before turning back to ask, “I was wondering if you could tell me how to be sweet with a woman.”

“OH COME ON, ADAM!” Joe shouted in outrage, straightening away from his brother.  This was some joke, some joke Adam had cooked up.  He probably had Hoss hiding in the bush somewhere ready to poke his head out at the tomfoolery.  Well, he wasn’t going to go along with the shenanigans, especially if he was on the receiving end of the joke.

Trying to quiet his brother, Adam’s voice took on a little authority.  “Will you be quiet Joe!,” he shushed him, looking around.  “Do you want everyone to hear you?” he demanded.

“I’m not going along with the joke, Adam!” Joe protested, his voice loud.  “How to be sweet with a woman!” he expelled his breath with a pssss, shaking his head that his brother would think he was gullible enough to fall for that.

“Why don’t you say it a little louder, Joe?  I don’t think they heard you over in Carson City,” Adam ground out, annoyed.  So Joe thought this was all one big joke, did he?  As Joe moved to go past him back to the house, Adam pulled on his arm, not ready to give up.  “Joe…Joe…look it’s not a joke.  Really.  Katherine wants me to be sweet with her and I…and I….,” Adam faltered at the admission, “and I don’t know how.”

Thinking that his brother seemed sort of serious, Joe paused, considering Adam’s words.  Seeing his brother’s hesitation, Adam continued, “It’s really all Jenny’s fault so the least you can do is help me out,” his tone pleading.

“Jenny’s fault!” Joe exclaimed.  “How do you figure that?” Joe wondered what his wife had to do with the strange happenings.

“Well, she told Katherine that you were sweet with her and now Katherine wants me to be sweet too.  So you see, Joe, you really owe it to me to help me out here,” Adam concluded, pleased at his own logic.

“Jenny said I was sweet with her?” Joe asked, a small smile of male satisfaction coming to his face.  “Really?  She said that?”

“Well, she didn’t say it to me, Joe,” Adam drawled dryly, adding, “but, yeah, I think that’s the drift of what she said.”  Trying to keep the matter on topic, Adam persisted, “So, Joe, what do you say?  Can you tell me how to be sweet?”

“Well, I dunno, Adam,” Joe prevaricated, a slight mischievous twinkle in his eye.  “Seems like being sweet is just something you’re either naturally good at or you’re not.  And I guess it just comes naturally to me,” he sighed with something that appeared to be the opposite of modesty.

“Hmm,” Adam grumbled discontentedly, thinking Joe was letting the compliment go to his head just a little too much.  “So are you gonna tell me or not?” he demanded harshly, irritation in his tone.

“Well, the first thing I can tell you is you can’t be sweet with an attitude like that,” Joe reprimanded his brother.

Sighing, Adam conceded, forcing a pleasant tone, “Alright, Joe.  What then?”

“Well, it’s not so easy to tell….,” Joe trailed off as he tiltled his head thoughtfully.  “Now, now,” he held up his hand at his brother’s impatient look.  “I just wanna make sure I give you the right advice,” he played a little, enjoying this unusual set of circumstances.  “Now, let’s see,” he pretended to consider the matter as he rubbed his chin.  “Jenny said I was sweet, right?”

“Right,” Adam grumbled back, wondering if Joe would ever get to the heart of the matter.  Seems like he was enjoying this just a little too much.

“Well, it would help if I knew when she was talking about.  Did she say when I was sweet?” he asked, quickly tagging on, “‘Cuz you know I’m sweet a lot of the time.  But did she say when in particular?”

Nodding his head, Adam tried to remember Katherine’s words.  Unthinkingly he answered, “Yeah, she said you were sweet when she showed you her scars.”  Suddenly realizing what he’d so insensitively said, Adam looked sharply over at his brother, noting Joe’s sudden pained expression.  “Joe…Joe, I’m sorry, Joe,” Adam was quick to apologize for his thoughtless remark.

“No, that’s okay, Adam,” Joe answered slowly, his voice subdued as he swallowed hard.  “It helps to know what…what…,” he trailed off.  “It helps to know what she meant,” he finally managed.  Thinking back to that day, shrugging off the pain just below the surface, Joe admitted, “Well, I don’t know how sweet I was, but I can tell you what happened, if you want.”

“Only if you want to, Joe,” Adam’s tone was gentle, realizing what this was costing Joe.

Nodding, Joe paused a little before beginning.  “Well, I remember she was crying….,” he began, replaying the scene in his mind, “and I…I put my jacket around her…and, uh, I told her I loved her.”  Lowering his head and eyes to the ground,  his face shielded by the brim of his hat, Joe began to dig the toe of his boot into the dirt at his feet as he hitched his thumbs into the belt on the back of his hips.  “And I…I remember putting my hands on the sides of her face and she was still crying so I….so I kissed her tears trying to get her to stop….,” Joe recounted, pausing at the remembrance.

“And did it work?” Adam prompted tenderly.

“Hmm?” Joe looked up, pulled from his reverie by his brother’s question.

“Did she stop crying?” Adam asked.

“Naw,” Joe breathed, shaking his head slightly, as he looked back down at the ground, his boot working the dirt again.  “Naw, she just starting crying harder,” he confessed, a mild sound of derision at his failure catching in his throat.  “So, you see, I don’t really know that I was so sweet.  I just wanted her to stop crying.  I wanted to stop her pain.  That’s all it was, Adam.  That’s all,” he finished.

Nodding his head, Adam reached out to place his hand on Joe’s shoulder, giving it a little squeeze.  Their eyes meeting as Joe looked up, Adam spoke, a new appreciation in his voice, “Thank you, Joe.  I think I understand now.” 

Blinking his eyes a few times, Joe nodded his head, acknowledging his brother’s words.

Adam delivered a final pat to his brother’s arm as together they turned and headed back to the house.
Chapter 15
**********

“Adam, why are you wearing your coat?  Are you cold?”  Katherine asked as her husband entered the room the following afternoon.

“Hmm,” Adam’s answer was noncommittal as he placed the bandage tray on the table next to the bed.  Sitting next to her he moved forward to change her bandage, as she sat up in bed, looking away and bearing his ministrations in silence.  The task completed, Katherine peered down at the fresh dressing.

“Thank you, Adam,” she said.

“I’m not done, Katherine,” Adam stated.

“Hmm?” Katherine questioned, surprise in her voice as looked over at her husband.

Shrugging out of his coat, Adam moved to wrap it around her shoulders, nudging Katherine forward slightly to accommodate his actions.

“Adam, what are you doing?” Katherine wondered at his strange behaviour as she settled back against the pillows, her husband’s coat draped around her shoulders.

“Being sweet,” was his succinct answer.

Sweet?  He was being sweet?

Reaching for her hand, Adam met her eyes.  “Katherine, I know I don’t say it enough but I love you very much,” he said, his tone serious and sincere.

“Adam……,”

“Shh,” he quieted her, trying to remember Joe’s instructions.  Raising his hands, he placed them on the sides of her face and into her hair, as he bent to gently press kisses to her face.  “I love you, Katherine,” he repeated.

“Adam….,” Katherine began again, surprised by his actions.  What was he doing?

“Shh,” he admonished again.  “I’m trying to be sweet.”

Yes, this was sweet, Katherine thought.  But how was it he knew how to be sweet today and not yesterday? she wondered.  “But Adam,” she countered, “men aren’t sweet,” repeating his words of the day before.

“Joe is,” Adam repeated her words.  “I asked Joe how,” he informed her.

“Adam, you didn’t!” Katherine exclaimed with astonishment, unbelieving at this small miracle.

“I did,” Adam confirmed, continuing to press kisses to her face.

Suddenly tears sprang to Katherine’s eyes.  Had she done that?  Asked this proud man to humble himself like that?  And he’d done it.  Done it for her.

Suddenly tasting her tears as he kissed her, Adam pulled back a little to look at her.  So Joe had been right.  She was crying now just like he’d said, he thought, marvelling a little at the sight.  Moving close again, he brushed his lips to hers.

Meeting her husband’s lips in a gentle kiss, the words sprung to Katherine’s mind, repeating in a tender chant.

Sweet, sweet man.
Chapter 16
*********

“Jenny, I can’t thank you enough for helping out,” Katherine began, one afternoon several weeks into her convalescence. 

“Oh, I’m glad to help,” Jenny answered modestly, setting the mealtray in front of Katherine as she sat up in bed.  Watching as Katherine hesitantly eyed the bowl of soup as she picked up her spoon, Jenny chuckled.  “Don’t worry.  I didn’t make it.  I just heated it up,” she explained to her sister-in-law.  “Annie brought it over this morning,” she said with a wry expression, aware that her own cooking left much to be desired.

“Well, in that case….,” Katherine winked to her as they glanced at each other, sharing  a conspiratorial smile.  A few minutes passed as Katherine partook of the chicken soup and Jenny sat nearby in companionable silence.  Stealing a sideways look at her sister-in-law, Katherine again offered her thanks.  “It really is nice of you to come here like this to help out.  It must be terribly boring here all day for you, looking after me and minding Beth.”

Shrugging her shoulders ever so slightly, Jenny replied, “I like coming here.  Besides, it’s not like I have anything to do at home.”

Studying her sister-in-law at her revealing statement, Katherine gently probed, “You don’t have anything to do at home?”

“Well, I mean….,” Jenny faltered, flushing a little, aware of what she’d said.  “I mean…Annie and Hop Sing pretty much run the house and the men…well, the men are always busy with running the ranch so…so…there’s really not much for me to do.” 

A thoughtful look on her face at Jenny’s words, Katherine put down her spoon.  “Jenny, have you told Joe?” she asked.

“Told Joe what?” Jenny inquired, surprised.

Pausing a second, Katherine continued, “Told Joe that you want a place of your own?” putting into words her intuition about what Jenny was really saying.

“I didn’t say that!” Jenny denied the words, flushing more.

“Didn’t you?” Katherine countered, raising a brow and shooting Jenny a look of mild surprise.

Reaching over to lift the tray from Katherine’s lap, Jenny tried to change the subject, “Are you finished with your soup?”

“No, I’m not,” Katherine brushed her hands away, as Jenny sank back into the chair.  “Really, Jenny,” Katherine admonished, “it’s okay to want your own place, your own home.  It’s not a crime to admit it.”

Staring at her hands as they rested in her lap, Jenny hestitantly admitted, “Well, it would be kind of nice to have a house to run.   I mean…I mean…just for something do.”

Smiling at Jenny’s confession, Katherine asked, “And what kind of a house would you like Joe to build, Jenny?”

Looking up sharply, Jenny rushed to answer, “Oh, I don’t want him to build a house.  I’ve got one picked out already.”

“You do!  Tell me more!” Katherine enthused.

“It’s…it’s the old Ridley place.  You know the one?”  At Katherine’s nod, she continued dreamily, “Don’t you think…don’t you think it’s a sweet little house?” 

“Jenny, I think it’s a wonderful house!  What does Joe think?”

Shaking her head, her eyes in her lap again, Jenny replied, “Joe doesn’t want a house,” her voice flat.

“He said that?” Katherine asked, surprised that Joe would refuse Jenny anything.

“Well, nooo…,” Jenny prevaricated.  “I didn’t exactly ask him.  But I can tell…I can tell he doesn’t want a house.”

“Jenny,” Katherine began, her voice firm.  “You have to tell Joe you want a house.  I mean it, Jenny,” she admonished as Jenny began to shake her head.  “Jenny…,” Katherine drew her name out warningly as still shaking her head Jenny stood up and reached for the tray, not to be deterred this time.  Lifting the tray from Katherine’s lap she turned and headed for the door, Katherine watching her with an expression of puzzled exasperation.
Chapter 17
*********
“…and they all lived happily ever after,” Katherine closed the book as she finished the bedtime story to her daughter as they snuggled together on the settee.  “And I think it’s time for bed, for you, little one,” she said, leaning close and tapping her daughter lightly on the nose. 

Moving from his place in the chair, Adam came over.  “Now give your Mama a kiss and then it’s bed for you,” he added his instructions.

Turning to her mother, Beth wound her arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her face as her mother kissed and hugged her back.  “Goodnight, my love,” Katherine lovingly breathed to her child, rubbing her back gently.

“‘Night, Mama,” Beth answered, before turning to her father as he stood nearby, ready to take her upstairs.  “I wanna piggyback!” Beth exclaimed to him.

“A piggyback!?!” Adam pretended to be outraged at his daughter’s demand. 

“A piggyback!” Beth repeated her demand, her voice squealing.

Pretending to sigh in suffering resignation, Adam answered, “Well, alright,” as he turned and squatted down low.  Scrambling off the settee, Beth raced to him and climbed onto his offered back, wrapping her arms about his neck and squealing delightedly as he hooked his arms up under her legs and rose to an upright position.  Turning back to look at his wife as she watched in amusement from her place on the settee, Adam told her sternly, “I’ll be back for you later.”

Katherine watched as her husband turned and headed up the stairs, their daughter laughing in delight as he bounded up the stairs.  Sighing, Katherine thought how good it felt to be downstairs for a change.  She’d spent so much time in bed lately it was nice to finally see another part of the house!  Smiling, she wondered if Adam would carry her up to bed too.  He’d only reluctantly let her come down the stairs on her own, hovering close by in case it was too much for her.  Maybe she should ask for a piggyback too! she grinned as the idea struck her.  Leaving the fanciful picture of that idea for a moment, Katherine got up from her place and went over to the bookcase.

Coming down the stairs a little later after tucking his daughter into bed, Adam smiled at the sight of his wife curled on the settee, reading a book.  Hearing his approach, Katherine closed the small book, placing her hand over it as she held it to her body.

“What are you reading?” Adam asked as he came near.

“Oh…just some poetry,” Katherine answered, evasively.

“Really?” Adam asked, moving to wedge himself next to her on the settee and taking the book from her hand.  Silently he turned the book over to peer at the spine.

“I know…I know it’s a little sentimental for your tastes, Adam,” Katherine defended, a little blush on her face and sheepishness in her voice, “but I like her.”

“Elizabeth Barrett Browning,” Adam named the poet.  “I don’t think she’s too sentimental.  She’s very talented,” he conferred his opinion, a little surprised that Katherine would think he would disparage her taste in literature.  Quickly turning to a page he knew by heart, he added, “Here’s one I especially like.”

A little surprised to discover her husband had read the book, evidenced by the way he had memorized the page of this particular work, Katherine settled back to hear her husband read.

“How do I love thee, let me count the ways…..,” Adam began, as Katherine sucked in her breath.  He had picked the very poem she had been secretly reading.  His eyes on the page, Adam continued to read, the deep melodic tone of his voice washing over her in calm soothing waves.  How that man could read! she thought. And sing.  And kiss.  Quickly she pulled her mind away from that last one.

“I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach….,” he was reading.  Closing her eyes, Katherine rested her head back against the cushion, still and quiet as he read. 

“I love thee to the level of everyday’s 
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right,
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,–I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!–and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.”
The final words of the mesmerizing poem dying out, Katherine opened her eyes to gaze at her husband, her eyes reflecting deep pools of feeling his words had stirred inside her.

“You read that very well, Adam,” she breathed the compliment to him.

His eyes intense upon her at her words, something in their depths, Adam clarified, “I wasn’t just reading it, Katherine.”  Closing the book and placing it on the table next to them, he leaned forward to brush his lips to hers.  A little startled at the move, Katherine remained motionless as he kissed her.  The kiss deepening, her hands moved to touch him, stealing up his arms and around his neck, as the passion increased.  Remembering suddenly the situation and realizing by his actions that maybe Adam didn’t, she pulled reluctantly away.

“Adam….Adam….we can’t,” Katherine informed him, squirming a little.  Hadn’t the doctor told him? she wondered.  Was it up to her to tell him?

“We can’t…..kiss?” Adam teased to her, playful surprise in his voice.

“No….I mean we can’t….you know,” she ended lamely, her face flaming.

“Katherine, I know we can’t ‘you know’,” Adam stated matter-of-factly, moving close again to nuzzle her face, his whiskered face brushing against her tender skin.

“Then why are you…..?” Katherine wondered at his actions. 

Surprised by her question, Adam pulled back to look at her.  “A man can’t kiss his wife?” he asked.

“But….you know it can’t go anywhere, Adam,” Katherine tried to explain her meaning, wanting to be sure he understood.

“And does it have to go somewhere?” Adam countered, still surprised.

“Well, no…I guess not,” Katherine answered, uncertain.

Leaning forward at her answer, Adam stopped short just as he was about to kiss her again, pulling back slightly.  “Unless…unless you don’t want me to?” he asked, doubt in his voice.

“Adam!  Of course I want you to,” she answered, blushing all the more.  Goodness, did he think she was crazy?

“Good,” Adam grumbled to her, moving in to finish what he’d begun.  Hearing a small giggle escape from his wife as he kissed her, Adam sighed.  What now? he wondered.  Pulling back, he chided, “Katherine, it doesn’t do a man’s ego any good when his wife starts laughing when he’s kissing her.”

“I’m sorry, Adam,” Katherine apologized, giggling some more as she smiled at him.  “It’s just….it’s just, you need a shave,” she explained the reason for her giggle, the coarse stubble on his face having tickled her own.

“Oh,” Adam replied, feeling his face.  “I guess I do at that,” he acknowledged, pulling even further away.

“Hey,” Katherine grabbed his arm as he made to leave.  “I was just observing…I wasn’t complaining.”

Smiling back at her, Adam teased, “Well, if you’re sure you can stand it….”

“I’m sure,” she answered playfully, pulling him close, and sighing as his lips met hers, a single phrase in her heart.

How I do love thee.
Chapter 18
*********

Katherine and Adam looked up to meet each other’s eyes as they sat in the great room of their ranch house a week later, hearing the approach of a rider.  A rider fast approaching.  Moving to the door, Adam was startled as the door burst open and Little Joe stood before him.

“Is Jenny here?” he asked without preamble, his demeanour agitated.

“No, is something wrong?” Adam was quick to ask, noting his brother’s agitated state.

Breathing hard, Joe replied, not mincing words, “She ran away.  We had a fight.  I…I don’t know where she went.”

Seeing that his brother was almost incoherent with worry, Adam moved to place a hand on his arm, “It’s okay, I’m sure she’s okay.  We’ll find her.” 

“It’s just…it’s just…I don’t know where she would have gone.  I don’t know where to look,” he agonized. 

“Joe, don’t worry,” Katherine soothed from her place on the settee.  “Jenny knows this country well.  I’m sure she’s fine,” she offered, hiding her own worry.

Strapping on his gunbelt as he spoke, Adam asked, “Is there somewhere she would have gone?  Has she run away before?” 

Shaking his head, Joe admitted, “No, we’ve fought before but she’s never run away.  I thought…I thought she’d come here.  Where else would she go?”

Something niggling in the back of her brain, Katherine suddenly spoke up, “Did you try the Ridley place?  Joe, did you try the Ridley place?”

“The Ridley place?” Joe asked in surprise.

Exchanging a glance with her husband at her strange suggestion, Katherine looked back at Joe to confirm, “Yes, the Ridley place.  I think…I think she might have gone there.”

Too worried to wonder long at his sister-in-law’s strange suggestion, Joe turned, rushing out the door to remount his horse.  Watching his brother ride away at breakneck speed, Adam turned to his wife.  “Why would she be at the Ridley place?” he wondered aloud.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Katherine answered evasively, shrugging her shoulders slightly.  “Just a feeling I have.”

Riding full-out towards the Ridley place, Joe was filled with worry.  Jenny had never run away when they’d fought before.  Both being strong-tempered, they usually fought when at least one of them was in control of that temper.  But not this time.  This time they’d both let their tempers flare unchecked.  And look where that had led.

The Ridley place within sight a short time later, Joe was relieved to see Jenny’s horse Lightening tethered to the post outside.  So she WAS here.  How had Katherine known?  Pulling up alongside Lightening, he dismounted, tying his horse to the post.  Entering the unlocked house, he was alarmed to see the room empty.  Where was she?  Spotting her hat on a chair nearby, Joe bent to retrieve it as he continued silently to the kitchen.  Not finding Jenny he was about to call out when he noticed movement in the room just off the kitchen.  Approaching, Joe peered into the room, a small bedroom, and found his wife fast asleep on the four-poster bed, turning onto her side as she slept.  Smiling a little at the sight…I mean, who has a big fight with their husband, runs aways and then…and then, FALLS ASLEEP, he wondered, shaking his head.  Only  his wife would.  Only Jenny.  Approaching the bed, he called out softly to her, “Jenny?”

“Hmm,” she mumbled in her sleep.

“Jenny?” he called again.

Rousing a little but not much from her slumber, Jenny answered sleepily, “Joe?”

Removing his hat and placing it on a chair along with Jenny’s hat, Joe moved to the edge of the bed.  Impulsively he crept onto the bed to lay on his side next to Jenny, facing her.  “Jenny,” he called softly again.

Hearing her husband’s voice much closer this time, Jenny answered, her eyes still closed in slumber, “Joe.”  A remembrance of events permeating her sleepy brain, Jenny apologized, her voice a whisper, “I’m sorry, Joe.”

“No, Jenny,” Joe whispered back, reaching out to brush the hair away from her face.  “I’m sorry, Jenny.  It was my fault.”

Rousing a little more, Jenny answered, her eyes still closed.  “No, it was my fault Joe.  Please forgive me,” she whispered, yawning softly.

“Shh, there’s nothing to forgive, Jenny.  It was all my fault.  Only….only please don’t run away again.  Please, Jenny,” he whispered urgently.  “Please don’t leave me.”

“I didn’t leave you, Joe.  I’d never leave you.  I came home,” she breathed the correction to him.

Home?  What was she mumbling about? he wondered.  Moving closer to her as she yawned some more, Joe slid his arm under her shoulder a little, raising her slightly to tuck his arm under her body as Jenny instinctively rose up a little to nestle sleepily against his chest as he turned onto his back.

Staying that way a few moments, Joe stared up at the ceiling reflectively as he caressed Jenny’s arm as it laid across his chest.  Feeling guilty still over what had happened between them, he tilted his head to look down at his wife.  “Jenny,” he roused her, shaking her a little.  At her sleepy “Hmm?” he vowed, “Jenny, I promise you I’ll never lose my temper like that again.  I promise, Jenny.”

Rousing from her sleepy state at her husband’s avowed promise, Jenny tilted her head up to stare at him.  Shaking her head, she said, “No, Joe.  Don’t promise that, Joe.  You can’t.”

“What?” Joe wondered at his wife’s meaning.

“Joe…Joe…you have this fire inside.  Sometimes you have to let it out,” she told him, quickly adding before he could interrupt to deny it, “but it’s okay.  I understand.  I’m…I’m like that too.  So it’s okay.  You can let it out with me, Joe.  You’re safe with me.”  Reaching up, Jenny tenderly brushed her fingers across his jaw.

“But, Jenny…,” Joe protested.  What was she saying?

“We just have to figure out a way so we don’t both let it out at the same time,” Jenny was saying, almost to herself.  “One at a time is alright, but both at once is a bit much,” she grinned to him.  “So, one at a time, Joe.  We can promise each other to try for just one at a time.”

Staring into his wife’s eyes, eyes that seemed very wise just now, Joe conceded, “Okay…okay, Jenny.  One at a time,” he promised.
Chapter 19
*********

“Where are your parents, Katherine?” Adam asked upon finding his wife alone in the great room of their home.

“Oh, they went out to walk around the place a little.  They said not to wait lunch on them,” Katherine answered absently, her back to her husband as she stood before the bookcase, debating her selection. 

“Oh, really?” Adam absorbed this piece of most-welcome news.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like his in-laws.  In fact, he liked them immensely.  Just not so much when they’d all been under the same roof together for two weeks.  Katherine’s parents had come all the way from San Francisco to check on their daughter after her ordeal, not content with wires and letters about her progress.  And since they had such a large house with lots of extra bedrooms, it was only natural they would stay here, Adam reminded himself.  Sighing, he wondered why he’d ever built a house with so many bedrooms.  But he wasn’t going to think about that now.  Not when such an opportunity as this presented itself.  Stealing up behind his wife, Adam reached his arms in around the sides of her waist, wrapping them around her barely protruding belly as he nuzzled the back of her neck.

“Adam!” Katherine shrieked mildly at the contact.  “What are you doing?”

“Well, if you don’t know then I’m obviously not doing it right,” Adam teased back to her as Katherine giggled at his response. 

Turning in his arms, Katherine faced him, an expression of mock forebearance on her face.  Emitting a long-suffering sigh, she consoled, “Don’t worry, darling, you’ll get it right one of these days.”

Chuckling, Adam bargained, “How about I try and get it right right now?”

“Right now?  In the middle of…..” Katherine only managed to get out before Adam lowered his head to kiss her, cutting off her sentence in, she thought, a most pleasant way.

Pulling back at the end of the kiss, Adam asked her opinion, “So, how was that?”

“We-ll,” Katherine pretended to analyze the preceding event.  “I would say you’re improving.  You’re definitely improving,” she conceded the compliment slyly.

Chuckling again, Adam reasoned, “Well, then I’d better just keep practising, don’t you think?”

“Well, if you…..” Katherine’s sentence was cut off for the second time.

Entering his daughter and son-in-law’s home, his wife Maggie at his side, Thomas O’Fallon was startled to find the pair locked in a passionate embrace.  “Good grief man!” Thomas O’Fallon exclaimed.  “She’s still recuperating!” he bellowed his complaint at Adam’s actions.

Pulling apart, the guilty pair turned to the outraged man.  “Now, Pa….” Katherine began, her face flaming at being caught in such a position.

“Don’t you ‘now Pa’ me, Katie Mary.  If that husband of yours can’t even keep to himself till you get well….” he trailed off, his low opinion of Adam’s actions quite apparent.

“Now, Thomas,” Maggie O’Fallon interrupted.  “It’s none of our business,” she reminded her husband, as facing her daughter she shot her a sly wink.  “I think Katherine knows what she needs to get well, don’t you, dear?” her innocent question full of innuendo.

“Mama….,” Katherine trailed off, more embarrassed.

“Well, I think I’ll go out to the barn,” Adam said, turning to leave.  He should have known the momentary disappearance of Katherine’s parents was too good to be true.  It was all because of those extra bedrooms, he thought to himself.  All those extra damn bedrooms.  Sighing, Adam headed past the pair towards the door.

“Just a minute,” Thomas O’Fallon said as Adam made to go past him.  “I think I’ll join you.”

“Pa…..,” Katherine began, not liking the sounds of that.

“Now, now, Katie, this is man talk,” Mr. O’Fallon replied gruffly as Katherine rolled her eyes.  She’d heard that before.  Reaching back in the recesses of her mind, she knew she’d definitely heard that before.  Shaking her head, she watched as her father and her husband headed out the door.

Turning to his father-in-law as they entered the barn, Adam began, “Really, Mr. O’Fallon, Katherine and I….,” Adam faltered, wanting to curtail Katherine’s father’s criticism of his actions but too embarrassed to put it into words.

Waving his hand in the air, Thomas O’Fallon forestalled him.  “Oh, I didn’t follow you out here to talk about that,” he contradicted.  “I don’t care what you two in your own home, you know,” he clarified his position.

“Huh?” Adam asked, wondering at all that ruckus back at the house.

Chuckling, Mr. O’Fallon conceded, “Just putting up a little show for the women.  Can’t let ’em think I approve of that kind of thing, you know.  No, I came out here to talk about something else.” 

Smiling a little, Adam decided maybe Katherine’s father was on his side after all.  “Well, then….?” he questioned, wondering what he wanted to talk about.

“Adam, I’ll be blunt with you.  Katie Mary’s mother and I were never so shocked in all our lives as when we got your telegram saying Katie’d been shot.  We knew your neck of the woods had a reputation for being a wild lawless place but we had no idea…well, we had no idea it’d be our Katie on the receiving end of that lawlessness.  Oh, I know it was her decision to come out here to teach,” he waved his hand as Adam made to interrupt him, “but we always thought that would be just a temporary thing.  We didn’t know she’d marry and settle out here.”

“Mr. O’Fallon, what are you trying to say?”

“What I’m saying is…well, we’d like for Katie Mary to come back to San Francisco.  You too,” he added, as if that were some great sacrifice on his part.  “There’s a job waiting for you in my company or if that doesn’t suit you, you can start something of your own.  I can see that you’re a bright man, Adam.  A bright man could go far in a place like San Francisco.”

“Mr. O’Fallon…..,”

Mr. O’Fallon held up his hand.   “Don’t you think it’s time you called me Thomas?  Besides,” he added, “I don’t want you to answer me now.  Think about it.  That’s all I’m asking.  Just think about it.”

Taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly, Adam nodded.  Maybe this was the answer, he thought.  “Alright…alright…Thomas.  I’ll think about it.”

“Good,” Thomas O’Fallon slapped his son-in-law on the back.

*************

“What do you suppose they’re talking about, Mama?” Katherine asked nervously from her place on the settee a moment or two after the two men had left the house.  “You don’t think Pa is angry with Adam for…for…,” she trailed off, embarrassed again.

“For kissing you?” her mother supplied.  Chuckling, Maggie O’Fallon answered her own question. “I highly doubt it.  Your father just likes to put on these little shows.  He likes to make us think he’s shocked by the goings-on when he’s really not,” she expressed her summation of her husband’s actions.

“Mama!” Katherine exclaimed in mild surprise.  “You never told me that before!” Katherine added, surprised at this new-found knowledge.

“Well, you’re a married woman now.  There’s lots of things I can tell you now,” she teased, winking at her daughter.

“Now, Mama,” Katherine chided her mother teasingly, as they shared a conspiratorial smile.  Suddenly sobering, Katherine said, “Say, Mama?”

“Yes, dear.”

“I was wondering….I was wondering if you’d noticed anything different about Adam lately?” Katherine asked, her expression suddenly concerned.

“Different in what way, dear?”

“Well….I guess…sort of brooding,” Katherine replied, putting into words her feeling about her the change in her husband’s disposition.  “I was wondering if you’d noticed him brooding?”

“But, dear,” her mother protested.  “Adam always broods,” Maggie O’Fallon rendered her opinion.

“Mama!” Katherine protested.  “Adam doesn’t…..,” she stopped, tilting her head as she belatedly conceded her mother had a point.  “Well, I mean, brooding more than usual, then,” she amended.

“No, I haven’t noticed anything, dear,” Maggie O’Fallon said, eyeing her daughter sharply.  “Have you asked him about it if it’s worrying you?”

“No-o,” Katherine confessed.  “I was just wondering if anyone else’d noticed…,” Katherine trailed off.

“Has he…has he done something to upset you, Katherine?” Mrs. O’Fallon asked.

Shaking her head, Katherine replied.  “No, Mama.  Not a thing.  He’s been a model husband in every way.  It’s just….it’s just, I can sense something’s not right.  He’s…he’s not content.  Not as content as I want him to be.  And I….,” she trailed off again.

“And you what?” her mother prodded.

“And I’m wondering if it’s me.  If I did something to make him…”  Breaking off the sentence, Katherine quickly looked down at her hands in her lap.

“Katherine!” her mother was mildly shocked.  “You did nothing wrong.  Why anyone can see how much that man adores you!” she stated emphatically, reaching over to squeeze her daughter’s arm.

“I know he loves me, Mama,” Katherine agreed.  “But he’s not…content,” she repeated, shaking her head slightly. 
*****************

Alone in the barn after the departure of his father-in-law, Adam stood, contemplating the previous conversation.  Maybe this was it.  The way to assuage his discontent with life here in the west.  He’d felt it before, this dissatisfaction with the unruliness of life out here.  Things were primitive and uncivilized at best.  Lawless and crude at worst.  But it was different this time.  This time it was Katherine and Beth at risk in their uncouth surroundings.  How could he possibly justify staying here, especially after what had happened to Katherine.  She deserved better.  She deserved to be safe.  He only wanted to protect her, her and Beth and the new one to come.  So maybe this was it.  A way to protect them all.  Sighing, his decision formulating, he turned to head back towards the house.
Chapter 20
*********

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO MOVE TO SAN FRANCISCO?!?” Katherine Cartwright shouted at her husband.

“Katherine, please, lower your voice,” Adam shushed her.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO MOVE TO SAN FRANCISCO?!?” Katherine shouted again, just as loud as before.  “I’M NOT MOVING!!”

“Katherine, be reasonable.  Your father has offered me a perfectly good job and…”

“I don’t care what my father offered you!” Katherine interrupted.  “And what are you doing discussing this with him behind my back, anyway?” she demanded.

“Katherine, really, you know I think highly of your father and he’s…..”

“Well, I hope you think as highly of me, Adam Cartwright, as you do of my father!” Katherine’s tone was sarcastic.

“Katherine, please,” Adam pleaded.  “Hear me out.”

“I’m listening,” Katherine grumbled, crossing her arms.  If this wasn’t just about the most ridiculous thing she’d heard.  Adam wanting to move to San Francisco!

“Katherine, after what…after what happened to you,” Adam began, alluding to her gunshot injury, “I realized that I don’t want you or our children to live in a place where things like this happen.  And they happen out here, Katherine.  I know.  I’ve lived here most of my life and I know.”

“But, Adam…,” Katherine protested.

Raising his hand, Adam halted her.  “You said you’d hear me out,” he reminded her, as Katherine begrudgingly did so.  “All I’m saying Katherine is I want you to be safe.  I want our children to be safe.  And I won’t be content until you are.”

“Content?” Katherine paused over the word.  “This is why you’re not…content?” she asked, piecing the information together.  THIS  IS WHY HE’S NOT CONTENT? her mind shouted.  So it wasn’t something she’d done?  It wasn’t her?  “But Adam,” she protested, shaking her head, “you wouldn’t be happy in San Francisco.”

“Katherine, I’ll be happy when I know you are safe.”

“No.  No, you wouldn’t,” she repeated, shaking her head some more.

“Katherine….,”

“No.  You hear me out this time, Adam Cartwright,” she demanded.  “You wouldn’t be happy in San Francisco.  And neither would I.”

“Katherine…..,”

Changing her tactic, Katherine suddenly asked, “Do you love me, Adam?”

“What?” Adam asked in surprise at the change of topic.

“Answer me.  Do you love me, Adam?”

“Katherine!  Of course I love you!  What do you think this is all about?” Adam demanded.

“Never mind that for now,” Katherine instructed, moving on.  “So you love me.  But Adam, I’m not perfect.  And Adam?”

“What?”

“Adam, I love you and you’re not perfect either.”

“Katherine, what are you getting at exactly?” he grumbled, wondering just what imperfection she was alluding to.

“Adam,” Katherine patiently explained.  “We love each other even though we’re not perfect.  It’s like that with people.  It’s like that with places too.  You love it out here even though it’s not perfect.”  Nodding her head as he was about to deny it, Katherine continued, “Adam, why did you come home after college?  I mean, you could have stayed out east, but you came home.  Why?”

“Because…because my family needed me,” Adam defended.

“Really?  They needed you?  Then just how did they manage those three years without you, I wonder?  No, Adam,” Katherine corrected him.  “You didn’t come home because your family needed you.  You came home because you needed your family.  You need to be here near them.  Don’t you see that, Adam?”

“Katherine, I have another family now.  I have to think of you first.”

“Adam, I AM thinking of us first.  If you’re not happy, we sure as hell won’t be!” Katherine retorted firmly as Adam’s eyes widened in surprise.  Moving closer to her husband, her demeanour suddenly softening, Katherine pleaded, “Adam, I don’t want to move to San Francisco.  I want to stay here with you.  Don’t you see, Adam?  YOU’RE here.  YOU.  Your heart is here and it will always be here no matter where we live.  I want to be where your heart is, Adam.  Please.”

“Katherine,” Adam breathed her name.  “Katherine…I….I….,” he trailed off, not knowing quite what to say.  How had she known all this?  How had she read him so well, he wondered?  His heart was here, she’d said.  His heart.  Didn’t she know she was the one who held his heart?

“Adam?” Katherine questioned softly, seeing that she was swaying his decision.  “There’s one other thing, Adam.  You know, you can’t change people but you can change a place, Adam.”

“Hmm?” Adam wondered at this strange piece of logic.

“You can change a place, Adam,” Katherine repeated, “if you want to.”

“Katherine, what are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about joining the lawmen’s association or running for political office or working to change the laws or…..,” Katherine stopped.  “Places can be changed, Adam.  If someone cares enough to try,” she added meaningfully.

Staring down at his wife as she gently reminded him that instead of running away from the wildness of the west maybe he could help to tame it, Adam nodded slowly, smiling at her. “Alright, Katherine.  You win,” he conceded.  “And just how did I manage to get such a smart wife?” he teased, wondering at his undeserved luck.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Katherine teased, smiling back, please at the outcome, “maybe it’s because I have such a smart husband.”

Chuckling, Adam drew her to him to hug her tightly.  Pulling back slightly, his eyes twinkled mischievously as he asked, “And now, about my imperfections…?”

Chapter 21
*********

“Katherine, do you really think you ought to be doing this?” Annie asked her sister-in-law as she came up on her hanging wash on the line a week after her parents had gone back to San Francisco.

“Not you too, Annie!” Katherine protested.  She’d had just about enough of people telling her she shouldn’t be doing things, that husband of hers being the worst offender.  “Look, the doctor said it was alright for me to get a little exercise and I’m feeling just fine,” she defended herself, as she continued to pin the shirt to the line. 

“I know, but….,” Annie started, suddenly spying someone approaching them from over Katherine’s shoulder.

“Now there’s no ‘buts’ about it,” Katherine continued.  “A little bit of exercise isn’t going to hurt me or the baby….,”

“But, Katherine….,” Annie tried to interrupt her sister-in-law, trying to warn her of the impending situation.

“Annie, I mean it!” Katherine’s voice was firm, as Annie nervously eyed the man dressed in black fast approaching, a look of serious displeasure on his face.

“Katherine, I have to go now,” Annie suddenly announced, turning to leave.

“Annie!” Katherine called out to her in surprise as her sister-in-law beat a hasty retreat.  “Now I wonder what all that was about,” Katherine muttered to herself, as she stared after Annie, puzzled by her quick exit.

“Yeah, I wonder,” a voice behind her added, the sardonic tone immediately telling her of its owner.

Turning guiltily towards her husband, Katherine raised a hand as she stepped cautiously away.  “Now, Adam, I was just hanging a little laundry.”

“Hmm,” Adam grumbled as he moved towards her, his eyes narrowed.

“Just a little laundry, Adam,” Katherine repeated, backing further away, sensing something about to explode.  Suddenly, Adam reached out to her, scooping her up into his arms as Katherine squealed in reaction.  Turning, he made off in the direction of the house.  Protesting the procedings, Katherine exclaimed, as she wiggled in his arms, “Adam!  Adam, put me down!”  Her protests falling on deaf ears, Adam carried her into the house and up the stairs to their room.  Laying her across the bed, he moved his body over hers, thwarting her efforts to rise.

“Adam, really,” Katherine tried again, struggling against him.  “The doctor said a little exercise would be fine.”

“That was not ‘exercise’, Katherine,” Adam corrected her.  “That was work.”  Pinning her to the mattress, he raised her arms above her head as he held her by her wrists, carefully putting most of his weight on his leg off to the side of her, using just enough pressure to keep her in place without hurting her.

“But, Adam, I’m tired of staying in bed so much,” Katherine protested, struggling under him.

“Well, that’s just too damn bad,” Adam replied forcefully.  Looking down at his wife as she wiggled beneath him, her chest rising and falling with her quick breaths, Adam blinked several times, a sudden realization dawning on him.  “Katherine, could you stop…..damn!” he cursed.  “This is going to be harder than I thought.”

“What is?” Katherine asked, still squirming.

“Not ‘you knowing’,” Adam explained his sudden discomfort.

Immediately understanding his meaning, Katherine stilled her movements as she giggled.  She might be the one on the losing end of this particular battle at the moment but he was the one who was suffering.  “But Adam,” she protested slyly, “I always thought you liked a good challenge,” mock innocence in her voice.

“Hmm,” Adam grumbled at her for the second time.  Lowering his head, he kissed her, a passionate, thorough kiss that left her breathless.  Suddenly pulling away from her, he got off the bed and headed to the door.  Turning, he barked his final command, “Now you just stay there!” before closing the door firmly behind him.

Remaining where she was, Katherine made no attempt to rise.  It wasn’t that she was afraid to defy Adam’s order.  In fact she would have taken a little pleasure in doing just that, she thought as she stared up at the ceiling.  There was just one little problem….her legs, just like the rest of her, had suddenly gone completely weak. 
Chapter 22
*********

“Jenny, what are you doing?” Joe asked as he rode up to his wife at the front of the Ridley place.  Jenny was kneeling before the bed of flowers that butted against the house, pulling weeds.  Finding out back at the Ponderosa that Jenny’d gone for  a ride, he’d known to look for her here first, a place she frequently visited.

“Oh, Joe, I just thought I’d clean the garden up a little.  I know….I know Mrs. Ridley would be sad to know her garden was overtaken by weeds.”

Dismounting his horse, Joe moved over to stand beside her crouched form.  “It’s looks nice, Jenny,” he complimented her, looking down on the well-tended plants.  “Real nice,” he added, wondering if this was the time to ask her.  “Jenny?….” he began, crouching down beside her.

“Hmm?” she answered, her hands and eyes working on the plants before her.

“It’s a nice place, isn’t it, Jenny?” Joe asked.

Her hands stilling a moment at his leading question, Jenny answered carefully, “Why sure it’s a nice place, Joe.”

“Why with a little paint and some repairs here and there…..,” Joe trailed off suggestively.

Turning slightly, Jenny looked over to look her husband in the eye.  “What are you saying, Joe?” she asked.

“I just thought maybe…maybe…if you wanted to….,” he trailed off again, the implied words hanging in the air.

Suddenly a hopeful fire sprang into Jenny’s eyes as she lunged forward to throw her arms around her husband’s neck.  “YES, JOE!” she shouted as they both toppled backwards with the force of her move.  Sprawled onto his back on the ground, his wife on top on him, Joe grinned up at the excitement on Jenny’s face as he held his hat to his head with one hand. 

“Now are you sure?” he teased, thinking there was no way anyone could misread her enthusiam.  “Because if you’re not sure…..,” he trailed off teasingly.

“I’m sure, Joe!” Jenny proclaimed, leaning forward to press quick kisses to his face with feverish abandon, as Joe grinned with pleasure.  A thought occurring to her, Jenny suddenly pulled back to look down at her husband, her eyes wide in wonder.  “But Joe…how did you know I wanted the house?” she asked.

“How did I know….?” Joe almost choked on the question, his voice  a squeak.  Why any idiot could see how much Jenny liked the place, how often she came to visit.  It didn’t take a genius to put two-and-two together.  Suddenly wrapping his arms around her, Joe quickly rolled them both over, reversing their positions.

“I don’t know, Jenny,” he breathed down to her in a husky voice in answer to her question.  “I don’t know,” he repeated on a whisper and a groan, as tilting his head to avert the brim of his hat he leaned in to kiss her.
Chapter 23
*********

Some months later…

Peering down at her newborn daughter, Katherine’s voice was uncertain as she asked of Annie, “Do you think….do you think he’ll mind, Annie?”

“Who’ll mind what?” Annie asked.

“Adam,” Katherine clarified.  “Do you think Adam’ll mind she’s not a boy?” 

Katherine put into words her secret fear as she gazed on her child.  Men sometimes set such importance on having a boy.  Maybe…maybe Adam would be disappointed that their second was a girl too, Katherine thought.  She just didn’t think she could bear that.

“He won’t mind,” Annie reassured her, even as she harboured the same worry.  She’d seen it before, many times, when she’d worked for the old doctor over in Carson City.  Men disappointed they hadn’t had sons, not considering the fact it pained a woman just as much to bring a girl-child into this world as a boy.  But maybe Adam wasn’t like that, she thought, hoping that was true.  True for her sister-in-law’s sake, since she didn’t want her to be hurt.  Leaving the room a moment later, she went downstairs to send Adam in, the scene eerily reminiscent from one more than three years ago.  Passing Adam as he bounded up the stairs at her descent, this time Annie reached out a hand to stop him.

Seeing his worried look at the way she’d halted his advance, Annie quickly informed him, “She’s alright, Adam.  You…you have another daughter.”  Reassured a little by the smile on his face, Annie hesitated another second, wondering if she should say any more.  Deciding it wasn’t her place, she moved her hand from his arm as Adam continued on past her.  Watching him disappear from view, a small expression of worry on her face, Annie turned and headed the rest of the way down the stairs.

Moving into the room close next to the bed, a smile on his face, Adam crouched low next to his wife and child.  Peering at the child and then turning to look at his wife, he remarked, “So this is the little fighter we’ve been waiting for.”  At Katherine’s nod he reached a hand out to move the blanket’s edge away from the child’s face, getting a better look.  Smiling even wider at what he saw, Adam observed, a mild exclamation in his voice, “Why, she’s got red hair!”

Glancing at the reddish fuzz on her daughter’s head and relieved that Adam seemed pleased with his child, Katherine teased, “Hmm, well I wonder where she got that from?”

Meeting her husband’s eyes, and seeing a big ole goofy grin on his face, Katherine put into words the small fear that niggled at her.

“You don’t mind, do you Adam?” she asked.

“Mind that she has red hair?” Adam was incredulous.  “Of course I don’t mind.  I’m partial to redheads, remember?” he teased.

“No,” Katherine clarified.  “I mean…you don’t mind that she’s not a boy?”

His eyes widening in shock at the question, Adam expelled his breath disbelievingly.  How in the world could she even think he would mind? 

“Katherine, what in heaven’s name are you talking about?” he demanded.

“It’s just…I thought maybe you’d want a boy,” she answered, craddling the child protectively.

“Katherine, what I want is a healthy child and a healthy wife and by the look of things I’ve got both,” Adam’s voice was firm, not believing what he was hearing.  Where did women get such crazy ideas anyway?  Didn’t she know?  Didn’t she realize all that she’d given him?  Shaking his head, he tried to put it into words for her.  “I…I…,” he faltered, expressing emotion never easy for him.  His tone soft and quiet, he offered, “I wouldn’t trade my girls for anything in the world,” sincerity ringing true in his voice.  “All of the my girls,” he added meaningfully, his voice a whisper as he met his wife’s eyes.

Reassured by his words, Katherine replied, mock defiance in her voice, “Good. ‘Cause I’m keeping her,” just as Adam leaned in to silence her with a kiss.
******************
Watching her brother-in-law as he spoke to his father and brothers later that night, Annie was trying to read him.  He sure seemed pleased enough, that was for certain, the way he was talking about the new child.  Thinking she should just leave it at that but really wanting to know for sure, she eased across the room towards him.

“We haven’t picked a name yet,” Adam was saying.  “So if you’ve got any suggestions, you’d better tell me now,” he teased to his brothers.

As his brothers dutifully mulled over ideas, Adam turned to find Annie close by. 

“Thanks for what you did today, Annie,” Adam spoke, gratitude in his heart.  “I know Katherine had an easier time of it because you were here.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be nowhere’s else,” Annie acknowledged his thanks, her eyes intent on him.

Feeling his sister-in-law’s scrutiny, Adam questioned, “Something wrong, Annie?”

“No….,” she trailed off, still trying to read him.  Her forthright nature asserting itself, Annie remarked, “I was wondering that you don’t mind about it’s not being a boy.”

The others turning silent in shock at Annie’s blunt statement, Adam turned to look her directly in the eyes.  Not her too? he wondered.  Suddenly displeased, he rose to his child’s defense.  “There is no ‘minding’ about it.  And I’ll thank you not to speak about my daughter like that again,” Adam’s reply was blunt, as blunt as Annie’s remark, as the shocked silence around them turned into shocked gasps.

Not offended by Adam’s answer at all, in fact quite pleased at it, Annie nodded her head.  She’d seen it.  His sincerity and his protectiveness.  It was genuine, then, not merely a pretense for Katherine’s sake.  “Alright, Adam,” she agreed, moving away.

“Ah, Adam,” Hoss began nervously, wondering at his wife’s behaviour and trying to smooth things over.  “Adam….you know my Annie can speak her mind when she wants.  Can speak it a little too much sometimes,” he confessed his wife’s small flaw.  “She don’t mean no harm…,” Hoss trailed off.

“It’s alright, Hoss,” Adam replied.  Meeting his sister-in-law’s eyes across the room with something like mutual respect, he continued, “I think Annie and I understand each other now.”

Watching as Adam turned to head up the stairs to his wife and new child, Hoss moved over to Annie’s side.  Both of them watched as Adam disappeared from view, their eyes at the top of the stairs.  “I like him,” Annie said suddenly.

“Who? Adam?” Hoss turned to look at his wife, wondering at the strange statement, considering what had just transpired between the two.

Annie nodded her head, still eyeing the top of the stairs. “I like him,” she repeated, thinking she liked him more today than ever before.  “He’s a good man.”
Chapter 24
*********

Looking down at the baby in her arms, Katherine sighed wearily as she tried to soothe the child’s frantic cries.  The baby’s face red in outrage at some unidentified slight, Katherine soothed, “There.  There.  What’s all this fuss?”

Moving close to his wife as she sat, Adam crouched low in front of her to peer at his newborn daughter.  “She’s really angry, isn’t she?” he chuckled at the sight.

“Yes, she is,” Katherine agreed, sighing again, realizing she was going to have her hands full with this one.  Watching the child’s angry outburst and recognizing something in her demeanour, Katherine observed, “You know, I think this one’s an O’Fallon.”

Chuckling in agreement at his wife’s assessment of their daughter’s disposition, Adam reached out to run his finger along the child’s face, the child calming at his touch.  Suddenly coming to him, he spoke the word aloud, “Fallon.”

Stopping her rocking motion at Adam’s utterance, Katherine looked sharply over at Adam, his meaning unmistakeable.  Mulling it over in her mind a moment, Katherine tried it out on her own lips as she peered down at her child.  “Fallon.”  Looking up to lock her eyes with her husband’s, Katherine nodded to him in acceptance as they named their child.  A small smile coming to her lips, she noted, “My father will like that.”

“Well, I always aim to please a girl’s father,” Adam drawled dryly.
Chapter 25
*********

“Adam, where’s your mother’s music box?  I’ve looked all over and I can’t find it.  Did you take it in to have it fixed after all?” Katherine asked her husband.

“Oh, I forgot to gell you,” Adam answered.  “I broke it.”

“YOU broke it?  Adam, don’t you remember, I’M the one who broke it,” Katherine said, thinking to refresh his memory.

“No, I mean I broke it more.”

“But…but…,” Katherine sputtered, trying to absorb this piece of news.  “But, Adam, you don’t break things.  You never break things.  Even as a little boy,” she added, remembering her father-in-law’s words as she shook her head disbelievingly.

“Hmm, maybe not as a little boy,” Adam countered, “but I’m learning how to now.”

“Adam!?” Katherine exclaimed.  Whatever did he mean by that? she wondered.

“I’m afraid it’s beyond repair now,” Adam informed her.

“Oh, Adam, I’m sorry,” Katherine was quick to offer her sympathy.  “I know it meant a lot to you.  It’s all you had of your mother’s.”

Staring at his wife a moment, Adam moved close to pull her to him.  Scanning her face, he took in her features, features so familiar and so dear to him.  Thinking it was time, he tried to tell her, to put it into words.  His voice lowered, he began, “Katherine, I don’t need things to remind me of the people I care about.”  As Katherine tilted her head at him, a questioning look on her face, he continued, trying to express himself.  “For a long time it seemed like the women in my life were always leaving me.  Dying and leaving mementos behind.  I don’t want any more mementos, Katherine.  When I almost lost you…..,” he stopped, shaking his head as if to clear the memory.  “I don’t want any more mementos,” he repeated.  “I just want you, Katherine.  Just you….” he whispered, breathing a final endearment to her before lowering his head for a kiss.

“Katherine, my love.”

THE  END