Chapter 3:

Seeing that l was all out of water, she took the bottle an tossed it over her shoulder, l turned my head watching it’s trajectory, it landed with a soft thud on an even smaller seat at the back of the carriage, she asked if l still had a thirst, nodding agreement, this time a red can was thrust into my hand, l presumed it had fluid contents l thought best to think on it a while before l figured how to open it, l knew my teeth were good and strong but biting into a tin can was not on my list of things to do, anyway she would think l was some kinda caveman…did cavemen have tin cans, l was pretty sure they didn’t.

Why l took it into my head to shake the small can l don’t know, a sharp slap on my wrist and a look of severity rendered me motionless, steadying my can holding hand with hers she slipped a finger through a loop on the top of the can an pulled, it opened with a piff, if l had been anywhere else l would of thought it was the sound of a young rattler testing it’s scales, she removed her hand l gave her a look which l hoped did not signify my ignorance, l guess l failed, rolling her eyes she gave her head a small flick backward, l placed the can to my mouth and did the same, the cool, fizzy fluid hit the back of my throat, as well as my face and most of my jacket, coughing and spluttering it then poured out of my nose and l think my eyes, finally restoring my breathing to normal, l caught her look of complete incredulity, dang she could even do the one eyebrow thing, she held a similar can to her lips and sipped daintily from the top, with the sleeve of my jacket l wiped the tears from my eyes and the excess mucous that dripped from my nostrils,

“Went down the wrong way,” l hastened an explanation.

“Sure it did,” her face now held a look of mild disgust, copying her example l sipped and swallowed then held the can up for her inspection as if to prove that anything she could do.

“My what a clever little cowboy you are,” her words dripping with sarcasm and her tone of derision were all too familiar.

Suddenly the carriage lunged forward….

“Whoa,” l instinctively yelled

With one hand l clung onto the side of the door with the other, l grabbed for the girls arm, which was not at all an appreciated move…

“What the f… let go a me…are you crazy,”

Swerving to a screeching halt, l realized the reason for the ‘buckle up’ and gave thanks for the halter that kept my butt and the rest of my body firmly in place on the seat, gulping down the lump that had wedged itself in my throat, l had already dropped the can, but not before l was once more drenched in the fizzy brown liquid, l daubed the moisture into my clothing, hoping that my drenching had gone unseen, who was l kidding, l dared to chance a peek sideways, the girls head was resting on her hands, they along with her arms were resting on a wheel.

Aghast that my clumsiness had caused her an injury l placed my hand on her back before l could utter a word of sympathy,

“Don’t Touch Me,”

Those three clipped words were enough, l retracted my hand with more speed than if l had been a lodger at the breakfast table in Widow Hawkins boarding house, snagging for the last piece of toast.

Now l realised her heaving back and loud breathing which l had first thought signaled an injury were in fact the woman trying to control herself, l prayed she had the where-with-all to do so, l turned my gaze away to study the fallen red can as it rolled, dispelling the last remains of it’s contents onto the dusty, dry road.

Silently l sat, fingers pressed to my lips, l felt like a naughty school boy, nervously waiting for my punishment…my prayers went unanswered.

“What is it with you, what exactly is your problem, you got no idea how to open a bottle of water or a can of coke and even less how to drink from it…you’ve no idea how to buckle a seat belt, and now it’s as if you never sat in a car before, albeit an open top little sports job…don’t you tell me you got something against lady drivers as well, where the hell are you from anyway?”

Her two eye’s were aflame, flashing hazel orbs that pierced right through me, l wanted to say that if she was the lady driver in question the only thing l had got that l’d like against her is my body, but rightly so l thought this wasn’t the right time or place, l remained silent and left her get it all off of her chest, which I estimated wouldn’t take long as there was very little daylight between her clothing and her chest anyway, her anger was causing her breasts to rise up and down like two shiny apples bobbing in a barrel of water, l took comfort in the knowledge that amid all the kerfuffle my hat was still perched neatly across my midriff, a small rivulet of the said ‘coke’ was circling in the brim, l felt though that it was an inopportune moment to remove it, the hat or the river of coke, and as much as my eyes were drawn to her purple heaving chest, l kept them fixed on the clock faces and dials that decorated the polished surface in front of me.

“l am starting to think that lame brain back there was right about you being some kind of a nut case, cowboy; you look at me when l’m talking to you, where do you hail from anyway?” instantly, as if on an axis, my head swivelled to face her, l truly expected to see Adam somewhere on the scene, “don’t you even think about doing that again, you hear, sit back…hey, you gone deaf as well, l said where you from, Mars,”

“ No…Nevada,” l could here Pa telling me not to mumble but l figured whatever l said l wasn’t going to put myself in any better light.

“Oh yeah, you telling me you’re from Nevada and you never seen a can of coke or a seat belt, Cowboy l been to Vegas, an if there is one, no two things Vegas is swimming in it’s car’s and coke, so pull the other one…don’t matter none to me, l just wanna get you fixed up and a written promise that you aint gonna sue, you got any problem with that?” she gave me no chance to reply… “listen Cowboy l’m already on two speeding fines and an endorsement an don’t ask about the drawer full of parking tickets, l need your help here Cowboy, you can be my white knight, an l’ll be your damsel in distress, after all you did say you had a horse,”

l didn’t ask her as again l was at a loss for words, and l could take more understanding from one of Hop Sing’s Cantonese diatribe’s than from what the woman had just said to me, that is except for the last part and the offer to come to her rescue, l was always a succour for a ‘damsel in distress’…what else could l say.

“Believe me ma’am l am not going to sue, l will sign anything you like,”

This statement produced an affectionate pat on my knee

“Thanks for that cowboy…l know, what about some music, what do you like, rock, heavy metal, jazz, blues, just don’t ask for c/w,” l had no time or inclination to ask for anything, l just hoped she could carry a tune, as she spoke l watched her fiddle her fingers about where all the dials were, “don’t matter much anyhow, l like listening to the Eagles when l’m driving, you like the Eagles?…even in Nevada, you gotta have heard of the Eagles, sit back, chill.”

“Sure we have,” l thought it best to humour her

My amazement at the sounds of guitars, fixed my mesmerized eye’s to the spot where her fingers had just been, in fact so stunned l was l never realised we were once more moving, the guitars gave way to tuneful male voices…l listened in complete awe.

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
“This could be Heaven or this could be Hell”
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

It took me a while to realize she could carry a tune and she knew every word, my mind was in frozen turmoil, the smoothness of the moving vehicle, warm sun on my head along with the haunting music pulled heavily on my eyelids.

I awoke as we halted in front of a pair of tall wrought iron gates, for a brief moment l thought l was still dreaming or maybe everything was a dream,

the music… the voices…the gates…

said gates silently opened without as far as l could see any aid or assistance, slowly we made our way forward, a chill of fear crept up my spine to settle uncomfortably in my gut, swallowing the dry lump in my throat, l turned my head and watched, just as effortlessly the gates closed behind us, the knot of fear in my stomach, hitched at my breath and gave way to rising panic, a slight movement caught my eye l noticed for the first time the trinkets swinging from the rings in the girls ears, a feather, a skeletal head and a single eyeball…continuing a slow roll forward we came upon a wooden barrier, which as like the gates opened unaided, rising up allowing entrance…the music played on…

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted, she got the Mercedes bends
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance to remember, some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain,
“Please bring me my wine”
He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine”
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say…

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

biting down on my lip, startled l turned my head and watched the barrier close with a dull clunk, for a moment we were plunged into darkness, a buzzing like the sound of a trapped insect preceded the flickering light that emanated from a long tube situated above my head…the music played on…

Mirrors on the ceiling,
The pink champagne on ice
And she said “We are all just prisoners here, of our own device”
And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast

Desperately l looked for a means of escape, there was none, but what did it matter, my shoulders slumped, what was the use where would l go… the music played on…the words that l had taken little note of suddenly took on an ominous slant…

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
“Relax, ” said the night man,
“We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! “