Chapter 8

Incredulous as Betty’s words seemed to me l had no other option than to believe her, it was obvious to the girl, by my silence and l guess the look of dumbfounded shock that l was struggling to get a grip of this living nightmare…apart from my leap through a whole century and a half there was still the darn picture, she too couldn’t explain that away, of how me and my brothers and Pa could be…could…but according to her it wasn’t us, it was four actors who just happened to look like us, and yes it has happened to me and Adam, we have both encountered a look-a-like in our own time, both not at all enjoyable experiences, but four doubles seemed beyond my comprehension, but then l thought, this whole set up is way beyond me…and then it came to me, what if this writer of the story…what if…Betty must have noted my whole change of out look, l could never play my hand close to my chest.

“What’s put the sparkle back into your eye?”

Well, l began if you are correct in your crazy explaining of the situation, what if this writer of the story found one of these portal, door, thingy’s and went back to the 1860’s and brought my family, back with him to the 1960’s…that would put us all into the picture, halfheartedly she gave an agreement, but she said that would mean that l would have some knowledge of the 1960’s as this ‘story’ was shown on TV for fourteen years, picking up a small, silvery object she pressed a button and a plain, black, blank picture on the wall lit up and started to talk, then small people moved back and forth, with another touch of a button the sound disappeared, Betty sure knew how to set a fella back on his butt faster than the meanest jug-head…

“That young Cartwright is a flat screen plasma TV…hang up…l know…sit there and enjoy,”

With that she jumped up, l didn’t know if l wanted to be alone in the room with the flatscreenplasmatv, silent or otherwise, l could hear her in the bedroom, l figured in the same cupboard, searching for something…inquisitiveness got the better of me, tentatively l eyed the silver item and picking it up pressed one of the buttons, nothing happened, then another button again nothing happened, before l returned it to the table l tried one last time, startled out of my wits by a roaring voice that woulda put Pa to shame, the thing flew out of my hand, bounced on and off the table and landed halfway across the floor, fortunately Betty chose that moment to return, she bent to retrieve the flying thing and gave me a look of complete disparagement,

“Little boys shouldn’t touch what doesn’t belong to them,” she chided, now l thought she was a cross between elder brother and Abigail Jones, l know we teased the hell out of Adam, but seriously l would have left home for good if those two had gotten hitched.

l was sat rigid, my hands clamped over my ears as the booming voice just as suddenly was silenced, l gave a tight grin and gathered my wits together.

Onto the table she placed a slim book like object out of which she had taken an even thinner round flat disc, which she now inserted into a small box, the picture on the wall immediately changed to four cowboys riding straight at me l backed away feeling sure they would ride right over me, l knew she was watching for my reaction but l didn’t care, l couldn’t tear my eye’s from the sight before me, emblazoned across the wall was my family, and not just that, the horses, Buck, Chubb, Sport and Cooch, bobbing their heads, flicking their manes…all movement stopped, the horses heads and human faces remained motionless, silent and staring, l still could not take my eye’s from the likeness’s…my heart thudded, thumping in my chest, the sight so beautiful and yet so terrible.

Her voice broke the spell and jerked me back to the here and now…San Francisco 2013.

“l suppose it is feasible, going by your idea that the man who put it all together, did as you say go back to the 1860’s…did in fact meet or see the Cartwright’s, possibly even stayed with them, after all you were portrayed as a very welcoming, accommodating family…we know that there is a time corridor on the Ponderosa, you being here are the proof of that…it just could have been possible that this gentleman waited until he found four actors so similar in appearance to the Cartwright’s before he set the ball rolling, of course the horses would have been an easier task.”

“But what of your aunt?”

“That is simple she is not in the equation she lived in the 1960’s, worked on the sets and production of the story or series, she was an expert stunt woman and cast extra, she also did stand in for elder brother Adam…but as much as l’d like to sit here and discuss ‘Bonanza’ for that is what it was called, we need to get a wiggle on and see about returning you to your century, that is if you want to go back?”

l was still trying to figure out how aunt Betty could stand in anywhere for Adam,

“What d’ya mean ‘if l want to’, sure l want to, just tell me what to do,” l was taken aback by her suggestion.

“How about getting dressed,” she removed my clothes from a small white cupboard and tossed them over to me, cussing loudly, my clothes fell silently to the floor, l snatched my burnt fingers away from the material, and stuffed them in my mouth, sorry she said, the buttons might be a tad warm…warm, l near shrieked, they just about took the skin offa my hand, you are prone to exaggeration aren’t you she argued, just give it a mo and they’ll cool off.

“Hey, my shirt smells like a warm breeze, an what ya do to my pants, that’s kinda neat, you sure fixed them good?”

“Invisible mending,” she advised, l didn’t ask.

We made our way back to where Betty had first encountered me, she said that is where the portal would be, but we wouldn’t be able to see it, we had to find it, she said it shouldn’t be no bother for me to do a bit of tracking, l told her she had me mixed up with big brother Hoss, he was the tracker, she said not in a month of Sundays could anyone mistake me for Hoss, l gave a nervous giggle, she returned it with a tight grin, l guess we were both feeling a little on edge.

So there we were, she had found what she called the tyre marks where l had suddenly forced her to a halt, so we did have somewhere to start from, without any warning she suddenly gave me a forceful push, taken unaware, falling off balance l grabbed out, she screamed and the two of us fell in a heap onto the grassy bank.

Her weight, not that there was much, was roughly removed from my body, l felt myself lifted by the lapels until l could barely touch my boot tips to the floor, Betty recovered her senses before l, my air flow was slowly being diminished by the two hands as large or even larger than Hoss’s, that were throttling me.

“What the…let go of him…get your hands off of my brother,”

Unceremoniously l was dropped, my knees buckled and l found myself once more on my butt, where l sat taking a moment to gasp oxygen back into my lungs.

“Your brother…how come he’s now your brother?”

l looked up at the familiar figure, the baggy trousered guy, wondering where he sprang from.

“What kind of pervert are you, sitting waiting about in the bushes?” Betty was immediately on the attack.

“l knew there was something funny going on, l told you that guy is dangerous,”

“You are right, you are so right, you wanna know how dangerous he is, you wanna see if that piece of metal strapped to his thigh is for real or a bloody good replica, you wanna do that,”

By now l was standing upright and taking Betty’s lead, my colt was already in my hand,

For a moment the guys eye’s popped, then a look of smug, superiority played across his face,

“Who you kidding, that aint for real,”

“OK wise guy, as Mr Eastwood once said, ‘go on punk, make my day,’

l could feel my eyebrows hitting my hairline, did she really want me to shoot the guy, sure he was annoying but not enough to put a another hole in his anatomy, l reckoned that keeping my stare fixed and my hand steady would be enough to put a scare into him, thank God l was right, but it wasn’t enough for Betty, even as the man was backing off she advanced toward him.

“OK hand it over…give it up,”

Now l was worried did Betty think he had a gun on him, l was more than worried, cocking the hammer l added my piece,

“Do it Mr, l gotta tired finger on a hair trigger an a short fuse, none of them mix well,”

He did it, handing Betty not a gun but a small black oblong box, although what did l know maybe it was a gun, Betty took it with a purr of envy

“Brother will you look at that?”

l figured she was speaking to me but l didn’t take my eye’s offa baggy pants.

“If l am not mistaken that is a top of the range …” coolly she conversed with the man.

“Yes it is,” he interrupted, “an it cost a shit load, so hand it back,” he agreed, flicking his nervous, scared eye’s back an forth between me and Betty,

“You know brother there was a queue a mile long for these, never got to see one, did you?”

“Nope never did,” l truthfully agreed, where this was leading l didn’t know, l just hoped it would ease off.

The man persisted in his demand for the return of his property which Betty agreed to but added her conditions, she didn’t want him to do anything silly like calling the cops, she would hang on to his smart-phone till tomorrow, he could pick it up from a bar down town, he didn’t have much choice, backing away to his ‘car’ Betty had previously told me the correct name for these shiny carriages, l eased the hammer back and when he was out of sight holstered my gun.

Breathing a loud sigh of relief, l shook my head,

“Betty you sure know how to make a man sweat,”

The cheeky, inappropriate look on the gal’s face as she totally and deliberately, misconstrued my meaning set me to grinning,

“Oh yeah, an what was it with all that, ‘long finger and hair trigger’ stuff, l almost peed laughing.”

“Me…what about your friend Mr ‘punk, make my day’ Eastwood, l’ll have to remember that one.”

The eased tension of the moment had slowed our adrenalin and gave way to playful teasing, but we were there for a purpose…Mr Baggy Pants turning up cast my mind back to earlier in the day,

“Nah, he threw himself over and out of them bushes, right onto the highway…”

l could see Betty’s thoughts drifting back when l mentioned my recollection of these words, of course, she almost shouted, we are on the wrong side of the hedge, look, here is where you must have fallen through, the branches are freshly broken, now she had abandoned Adam and taken up with Hoss, we scrambled through the gap in the bush, even the dirt and weedy ground cover was disturbed and scuffed with footprints, this had to be it, she pulled at my arm, her face full of concern.

“Joe listen to me, before you do anything,” we stared deep into each others eye’s hers were not showing the confidence of earlier, “all my sounding off, like l know what l was talking about, yes l have heard of this stuff, but that’s all, l don’t know what is going to happen to you, it could be dangerous…life threatening even, l’m scared for you Joe, l don’t want you to go, l’ll never know if you made it back will l?”

She’s scared for me l thought, no more scared than l was for myself, but what else could l do, l had to try…it was if she had read my mind.

“You could stay here, we get on OK, l feel as if l am signing your death warrant,”

l hugged her to me, sure we got on OK and l guess l could easily learn to love her, but the pull of my family was something l couldn’t ignore, even if it meant this was the last thing l would ever do, l had to try,

“Hey,” l took a pace back and held her at arm length, “what’s all this, l made it here, so l guess l can make it back,” l hoped l sounded cheerier than l felt, l suddenly had a thought, “where are my gloves?” l hadn’t seen them all day, l hoped l hadn’t left them back at her place.

Hang on, she told me and ducked back through the bushes, she returned in a flash holding a pair of black gloves, she had remembered seeing them in the back of her car, l took them and told her my plan, she was to keep one and l would keep one, when l got through l would throw my glove back to her, and then when she received it she should throw it back to me, we would both then have a glove each and also know that everything was OK with each other, throwing her arms around me she gave me a hug, which became an embrace as we clung tight to each other, l cupped her chin between my fingers then raised her lips to mine, we kissed deep sharing an urgent longing for a love that could have been.

Stepping away from her l made a run into open space, my body felt as if it was being dragged, pulled and twisted, her voice stayed with me for a few moments,

“l forgot to tell you it was Hoss that did it for….”

The turning and twisting increased, spinning me so fiercely my stomach was in my mouth, the urge to retch left me as l disappeared into a black hole.

Something long, wet and warm cushioned the side of my face, pushing my eyelids open l stared into two, large, flared nostrils, Cooch’s tongue lapped languidly at my cheek, l raised a hand and stroked the black, velvet nose, l lay for a while trying to put the pieces together, was it all a crazy dream, the darkening sky and clouds signified it was more or less the same hour of the evening, and l hoped the same day, that l was catapulted from the saddle, standing upright, l brushed myself down and noticed my one black glove, l had nothing to loose, removing it from my hand, l rolled it into a ball and threw it into space, it fell back as if it had bounced off an unseen wall, l tried again taking my aim a little to the left, in front of my eyes it disappeared, exhaling, l hadn’t realised l had been holding my breathe, l leaned into Cooch, patting her neck and scratching her ears,

“How long l been gone gal?”

She snorted and shook her black and white head, l figured by that action it wasn’t too long or she would have made her way home, after all it wasn’t far, a small movement caught the corner of my eye, a black object fell to the ground, Cooch sniffed at it, delicately she picked it up in her teeth and once more shook her head, l held out my palm, she sniffed again followed it up with a short snort then placed it gently into my open hand, one soft, black leather glove, rolled into a ball, the fingers tucked neatly into itself, pushing it into my jacket pocket l mounted and rode home.