Summary:  Little Joe should have known pranking his father was a bad idea.

word count: 1,220    rating: PG/teen

 

The Surprise 

 

Adam’s glare and the clearing of Hoss’s throat sent Little Joe’s behind back into the chair. 

 

“Pa said keep you here; here you’ll stay.”  Adam sent Joe another glare. 

 

“It was meant to be a surprise.”  Little Joe’s voice held a distinct whine. 

 

“Well, everyone was certainly surprised.”  Adam’s arms went across his chest, and Hoss shook his head. 

 

“I’m surprised you ain’t learned not to prank Pa.” 

 

“Not a prank, Hoss, a surprise.  We’re allowed to surprise Pa.  Besides, can’t we invite folks to the house?” 

 

“You invited the church Missionary Society without telling Pa or Hop Sing.” 

 

“I couldn’t tell Hop Sing. He might’ve said something to Pa.” 

 

“Well, he will definitely have something to say to you. I’d stayed out of his reach while he’s speaking.” 

 

“Yea, Hop Sing’s real good at doing for unexpected guests, but fifteen ladies…”  Hoss shook his head again.  “And then there’s the mess he had to clean up and those broken dishes. My advice is: if ya can, hide all his wooden spoons.” 

 

“Hossss!  Quit! There’s no way I could’ve known Mrs. Withers would faint into the refreshments.  I don’t know why….” 

 

“Seeing Pa in just his very wet and clinging drawers, she was overcome.” 

 

“She was the only one.” 

 

“Thank the Lord!” 

 

“Who’d have thought he’d fall in a mud wallow, take off his clothes, and come in through the kitchen?” 

 

“To be greeted by the town’s biggest gossips?  No one.” 

 

“I’m dead!” 

 

“You’re sixteen. You’re definitely dead!” 

 

“Adam!”  Hoss had begun to feel sorry for his miserable looking little brother and caught Adam’s eyes with his.  After a silent exchange, Adam rose. 

 

“Keep him at this table, Hoss.  I mean it; sit on him if you must.” 

 

Hoss nodded. Adam crossed the great room and made his way upstairs.  He paused in front of his father’s door and knocked.  The tone of his pa’s Come in!  told him all he needed to know. 

 

“Excuse me, Pa; I thought you might…” 

 

“Be contemplating your brother’s murder.”  Ben Cartwright’s face held no trace of humor. 

 

“Well…  I know the boy, um…” 

 

“Deserves everything he has coming!” 

 

“That’s just it.  I mean…”  Adam paused as he caught the glare his father sent him.  “Pa, if things had gone as, well, as Little Joe expected, you would have been surprised…”  

 

“Surprised!” 

 

“Perhaps a little more than surprised and, um, slightly embarrassed…” 

 

 

“But not humiliated?” 

 

“Now, Pa, humiliated is a strong word.  Thing is except for the mud and your state of, um, dress, you would have blistered Joe’s ear’s for letting the ladies descend on Hop Sing without warning, but that and maybe some extra chores…”   

 

Ben Cartwright shook his head.  “If it had been you?” 

 

“Oh, I would have committed fratricide immediately, but then I’m his brother not his pa.” Adam took his father’s slight smile as a good sign.  “I just… um, Joe deserves to be punished for the surprise of the invitation- but, well, some of the rest wasn’t really…” 

 

“Mrs. Withers fainted and fell…” 

 

“She’s a married lady.  She should have been able to handle the sight of a man in his drawers, even his wet drawers, but then Harold Withers is a, well, shall we say a puny man, and you are a Cartwright.”  Adam risked a small smirk.  “Take it as a compliment, Pa.” 

 

“Adam!” Ben glared but then sighed. “You don’t think he deserves a tanning?” 

 

“Having observed his current suffering, I don’t think he needs one.” 

 

Ben’s fingers drummed his thighs. “He’ll spend the next two weeks doing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen under Hop Sing’s supervision.  Hop Sing deserves more consideration than Joseph gave him.” 

 

Adam nodded.  “He certainly does.” 

 

“Any other consequences will be decided when I observe Joseph’s attitude about the whole matter.” 

 

Seeing his father’s ire had ebbed as much as was reasonable to expect, Adam nodded and smiled.  “Should I send him up?” 

 

“Tell him I’ll see him in his room shortly.” 

 

“Yes, Pa.” 

 

*C*C*C*C*C* 

 

Hoss and Little Joe had watched Adam ascend the stairs. 

 

“Hoss, do you think Adam is going to talk to Pa?” 

 

“Do I think he’s gonna try to pull your buns out of the fire?” 

 

“Well, yeah, he wouldn’t…” 

 

“Ya know he wouldn’t pour fuel on that fire. Ya know he’s always pouring soothing oil on the troubled waters.  Leastways, when it comes to me and you.” 

 

Little Joe’s eyes and chin dropped.  “Yea, I know.” 

 

“And ya better thank the Lord for it.” 

 

“I do, Hoss; I do, well, when he ain’t just done something to make me mad.”  Hoss pushed himself to his feet, a frown darkening his face.  Little Joe raised his hands in surrender and smiled.  “But I gonna try to remember it a lot more even when he does.” 

 

“See ya do!”  The conversation waned as the clock ticked.  Then they heard Adam’s boots on the stairs. 

 

“Pa wants you waiting for him in your room.”  Adam saw the shudder that ran down Little Joe’s spine.  “It shouldn’t be long, and Joe don’t… well, watch what you say. Apologize and don’t go bucking at what Pa says. Hear me?” 

 

“I hear you.”  Adam was pleased to note Joe’s respectful tone.  His brothers watched Little Joe slowly ascend the stairs. 

 

“Come on, Hoss, we’ve things to see to.” 

 

“In the barn?” 

 

Adam smiled.  “In the barn.” 

 

Hoss dropped his arm around Adam’s shoulders.  “Pa’s calmed down some then.” 

 

“Some.” 

 

“That boy owes ya one.”  Hoss chuckled.  “I should be saying one more.  Ain’t like it’s the first time.  Sometimes, I wonder why…” 

 

“He’s our baby brother, and well, I do owe him one or two.” 

 

Hoss stopped walking, turned toward Adam, and raised his eyebrow.  “Ya do?” 

 

“You remember the Widow Alcott affair?” 

 

“Little Joe was what five?  When he heard me say Pa was going to kill you, he believed it.” 

 

“Literally.  By the time Pa got him to calm down enough to stop wailing and sobbing, Pa decided he couldn’t actually do it.  He didn’t have the energy for the degree of chastisement he’d had planned either.” 

 

“If I recollect, he decided to treat ya like the like kid you’d been and…” 

 

“No, need to go down memory lane.”  Adam pushed his immovable brother.  “You know too much about my, uh, past peccadilloes.” 

 

If peccadilloes means…” 

 

“I’m too tired for vocabulary lessons.  Baby brother may sleep on his stomach tonight, but if he has sense enough not to push Pa, he should be able to ride Cochise tomorrow.  Oh, and he’ll do a stint in the kitchen under Hop Sing’s supervision.” 

 

“He shouldn’t be riling Hop Sing!  One day he might take it into his head to actually leave.” 

 

“Never.” 

 

“Still…   Joe saved ya ‘cause he didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t have nothing to worry about from Pa.  You knew you were risking Pa being mad with you.  Ya knew it every time.” 

 

Adam focused on Hoss’s face.  “Did you know what you were doing when you told Little Joe Pa would kill me?” 

 

“Now, elder Brother, ya know I ain’t got the sneaky streak that you and Joe do.” 

 

“That’s not an answer.”  Adam shook his head.  He often thought that their middle brother was just better at not letting his sneaky streak show.