Summary: Little Joe doesn’t know what to do with himself when Pa is delayed and can’t make his seventeenth birthday. A simple sweet tale.

Rating T, WC 3326,

I’m Already There

***I’m already there don’t make a sound.  I’m the beat in your heart.  I’m the moonlight shining down.   I’m the whisper in the wind and I’ll be there ‘till the end.  Can you feel the love that we share?  Oh, I’m already there.  We may be a thousand miles apart, but I’ll be with you wherever you are.  I’m already there.   Take a look around.  I’m the sunshine in your hair.  I’m the shadow on the ground.   I’m the whisper in the wind and I’ll be there ‘till the end.  Can you feel the love that we share?  Oh, I’m already there. *** (excerpt from song “I’m Already There” by Richie McDonald, Gary Baker, and Frank Myers)

Hoss Cartwright walked into the Ponderosa Ranch House and closed the door behind him.  He cast a glance over at his brother Adam sitting there in front of the fireplace.  Frowning, he advanced across the living room and released an exasperated sigh as he took a seat on the settee.

“Where is he?” Adam asked, looking over at his brother as he closed the book that he was reading, tossing it onto the coffee table.

“Where do you think?” Hoss responded with a shake of his head, frustration very evident on his face.

“Don’t tell me he’s out brushing his horse again?”

“Yep – dad burn it Cochise is gonna be slap bald as many times as Little Joe has groomed her today.”

Adam stood and eyed his father’s brandy sitting just off to the side of his desk.  He was getting very tempted to indulge in the expensive liquor after the day he’d had.  Turning around to face Hoss he sighed and remarked, “Did you ask him again about opening his presents?”

Hoss nodded, “Yeah, he said the same thing he’s told us every time we’ve mentioned it today.  He don’t want to do it.”

“I just don’t know what to do about the kid, you know?  Pa put me in charge, and he told me what to do but that was when he expected to be home today at the very latest.  I’ve no idea how to get through to Joe.”

The two men were interrupted when their little brother walked in through the front door and hung up his blue jacket and then glared over where Hoss and Adam had quite obviously been talking about him as they had shut up just as soon as he walked in.

“Hey, Little Joe — Hop Sing has fixed you a swell cake.  How about we dig into it then when Pa gets home, he said he’d fix you a brand new one so’s we can put candles on it and the three of us will sing to you then?” Hoss offered, trying his best to cajole the kid.

Joe drew in a deep breath and attempted to put on a calm controlled façade so he could hide his true feelings as he made his way over to his brothers.  He took a seat on the settee next to Hoss.

“Don’t exactly feel like cake tonight, Hoss.  It’s like I said earlier – we’ll just celebrate my birthday whenever Pa’s able to make it home.  It’s not a big thing – I don’t know why the both of you are making it such an issue.  I’m fine with it,” He tried to convince both men along with himself that he was telling the truth of the matter.

Adam approached his youngest brother and settled there on the coffee table opposite him.  “Joe, listen I know that it was tough to get Pa’s wire today about him being delayed.  That bridge washing out forced the stage to turn around and go back to the depot.  They’re going to try and find another route tomorrow which might bring Pa home by tomorrow night or maybe the following morning.  I know he wishes he could’ve made it home in time.”

Little Joe looked over at Adam and suddenly was on the defensive over what he had said.  He fought not to yell at him for treating him like a child.

“I know you think of me as a kid, Adam, but I’m seventeen now — I’ve been seventeen all day in fact!  I’m not mad, I’m not upset that Pa isn’t here either.  I’m just fine with it.”

“Then why won’t you open our presents or even let us put the candles on the cake Hop Sing made so we can sing to you?” Adam returned, his eyebrows raised, almost mimicking Pa’s usual mannerism.

Little Joe stood and had to fight his anger over the question that he’d been asked over and over again that day.  He didn’t want to celebrate his birthday and that was the end of the discussion, well, at least as far as Little Joe was concerned.  However, his brothers and even Hop Sing had pestered him to go ahead and celebrate even though he had more than made his position known to them.

“I told you we will do all of that when Pa gets here – whenever that is – tomorrow or the next day.  It’s just a day on the calendar after all.  I’m planning on being seventeen for a whole year so there’s no hurry,” Joe advanced across the living room and back over to the front door.  *** I hope that came out believable enough. *** He thought to himself.

Hoss stood and called over to his little brother, “Where’re you going, Little Joe?”

“Oh, come on!” Little Joe shouted, finally letting loose his anger after having held it in all day.

“I just asked,” Hoss muttered, feeling bad that he couldn’t do anything to help his brother.  He hadn’t meant to make him mad but evidently, he had.

Joe raised his hands in exaggerated gesture.  “Okay – if you must know – I’m going to do what I’m supposed to do every Friday.  I’m supposed to fill the darned wood boxes before I go to bed at night.  I’ve been doing this chore for the last two years if you both didn’t ever notice why there’s always wood in that box there on the hearth.  Pa gave it to me because it’s not as important as what the two of you do around here, but it’s a chore and I’m gonna do it like Pa was here to see it done.  Now, with your permission, I’ll go get the wheelbarrow and get started.”

“It’s your birthday, Little Joe, Pa never makes us do our regular chores on our birthdays,” Adam interjected.

Joe didn’t answer his oldest brother but simply turned out of the house slamming the door to show his displeasure over all their questions.

************

“Kid’s not handling any of this well but he’s not going to level with us, Hoss,” Adam sighed and returned to the blue winged-back chair.  “Just let him alone and I will too.  At least hauling in that wood will give him something to do.”

Hoss shook his head sadly.  “I just hate to see him trying to hide his feelings from us.  We could help him better if he’d just talk straight about how he feels, you know?”

“Hoss, he’s pretending – maybe it’s for us or maybe it’s for himself as a form of self-protection?”

“I don’t understand that lingo just speak straight with me,” Hoss protested.  He wasn’t near as book- learned as his older brother.

Adam stared into Hoss’ confusion filled eyes and fought to explain his comment.  “I think Joe is trying to talk himself into believing that he’s not upset that Pa isn’t here to celebrate his birthday.  If he keeps to his regular chores and doesn’t think about Pa, then he can pretend that today is just another day.”

Hoss shrugged his shoulders and stood staring down at his brother.  He felt helpless and he hated that feeling.  Hoss had always been Little Joe’s protector and now he couldn’t do a thing to shield him from the hurt he was trying so hard not to show to anyone.  “I’ll go bring us in some coffee,” he offered sullenly and turned for the kitchen just to have something to do.

****************

As Little Joe picked up the cord wood and tossed it into the wheelbarrow, he talked to himself.

“The bridge goes out today – not tomorrow or the next day.  No, it goes out on my darned birthday!” Joe muttered as he reached down into the wood pile and tossed more into the wheelbarrow.  “I waited most of the day for Pa to show up, just like he said he would, and then right at six o’clock Adam comes home with the darned buckboard but no Pa in it!”  Joe finished loading the wood and began wheeling it up to the front door.  *** And those two brothers of mine just keep going on and on about him not making it home today, which I don’t need to hear.  What — do they think that I don’t know that Pa isn’t here, so they’ve just got to constantly remind me?  I’ll be glad when I can just go to sleep and forget all about this darned day! *** He ran the day’s events through his troubled mind as he pulled the front door open and wheeled the firewood inside.

“Need some help tossing it into the wood box?” Adam offered as Joe drew closer to the fireplace.

“No thanks,” Little Joe returned, not looking over at his brother.  He knew that both Adam and Hoss were attempting to make him feel better, but it was backfiring.  Joe didn’t want anyone to know what he was thinking or feeling.  The hurt was his alone to deal with and he didn’t plan on explaining what he thought or felt.

Little Joe cast a look at the grandfather clock for perhaps the twentieth time in the last hour.  He’d filled all the wood boxes including the ones in the kitchen and on the hearth.  Now it was almost ten p.m., and he was running out of things to do to keep busy.

Hoss and Adam watched as Hop Sing finally gave up on the beautiful birthday cake that had been sitting on the dining room table ever since supper.  He walked in and covered it with a bowl hoping it would stay moist until the patriarch got back since Joe refused to celebrate without him.

“I’m gonna go check to make sure the horses are settled and close the barn.” Joe announced and didn’t wait for another objection.

************

“I’m acting like a darn fool.  So, Pa didn’t make it back for my birthday — he’ll be here in a day or so.  Nothing he could do, I ain’t blaming him none — he didn’t make that bridge wash out.  But I’ll celebrate my birthday when I’m good and ready to and not before.  I don’t need a cake neither — at least not tonight.  And I don’t need any danged presents — all I want is –,” Joe didn’t finish his statement, he couldn’t.  He simply stroked his pinto’s mane.  Cochise hadn’t minded the extra attention, but she did turn and look directly at her master as though she understood he was hurting.  She gave a whinny and moved closer to Joe as he closed the stall.  “Yeah, I love you too, Girl,” Joe nodded and patted her on the neck.  “You go on to sleep now.  It’s okay, nothing to get upset over.  See you tomorrow,” He whispered and turned out of the barn closing the door and then heading back into the house.

Little Joe looked one last time at the grandfather clock and sighed to himself.  It was now after eleven and it was safe to go to bed and hopefully not get any further questions about his birthday.   As he turned to go up the staircase both of his brothers stood from their chairs and called over to him.

“Joe, sorry today didn’t turn out like we all hoped it would.  But, well – happy birthday,” Adam said, and smiled at the boy.

“Yeah, Little Joe, Pa will probably be back tomorrow, or Sunday and we’ll have us a real celebration then!” Hoss exclaimed and offered a grin to his little brother.

Joe turned and fought back any animosity he had felt towards his brothers after reading the sincerity on their faces.  It made him feel bad that he had pushed them away all day.  They weren’t the enemy; in fact, no-one was.  It was just the way of things, and he would just have to tough it out.

“Thanks – hey I’m sorry that I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate.  But really, I’m okay.  See you in the morning,” He returned and then headed up to his bedroom.

The two men heard the door upstairs close and then took their seats again and looked at each other.  They both wished that the day had been a happy one for their little brother, but the kid still was hurting even though he had tried to tell them differently.

“Well, at least he tried,” Hoss sighed and shook his head.

Adam reached over and patted his brother’s arm and returned, “I think he’ll be alright just as soon as he sees Pa.  I know he talks a good game, but it wasn’t the presents or the cake, all Little Joe wanted today was to see our father.”

Hoss nodded, he concurred.  Little Joe needed to see Pa, especially on his birthday.  The man had never missed any of his son’s birthdays no matter what was going on in all their lives.  Even when Adam was away in college, Pa had journeyed there in time to celebrate his birthday.  Hoss knew that somehow Pa would make Little Joe feel better once he got home; Pa had a knack for doing that after many years of experience.

****************

Little Joe felt edgy and couldn’t settle down in his bed even after he had washed and put on his nightshirt and robe.  He moved over to his desk and sat there just staring at the picture of his mother.  She had been gone for so long he could no longer remember her.  Twelve years, and all she had become is a mere symbol of someone who he had been told loved him.  He didn’t remember her touch or her voice.  Now there was just a picture of a beautiful woman in a cameo there in the frame against the green velvet backing.  But Pa was different.  Pa was always there.  He held him when he was hurt or afraid.  He made him feel better about himself even when Joe knew he had messed up or his life had gotten out of control.  They had the kind of bond that most fathers and sons would envy but not be able to duplicate.  Pa allowed him to be himself and to show the part of him that he hid from everyone else.  He could yell about things that made him mad or he could cry about things that had hurt him emotionally or physically and Pa accepted either emotion from him.  Being with Pa in their private moments, when all the others were either away or in bed, were some of his fondest memories.  It was in those times when his father made Joe feel like Pa was his alone and that he cherished him.  Joe wore a mask around everyone else, but not his father.  Pa understood him better than he understood himself.  Pa was his rock, plain and simple and he missed him.  Joe felt foolish.  He was now seventeen and he felt like he needed to grow up and not be so reliant on his father to make him feel good about himself.  But the truth of the matter was that was exactly how he felt; he needed Pa.  And it was his birthday, and it hurt that he wasn’t there.

Little Joe placed his mother’s picture back into the frame and put it in its normal position on his desk.  He then stood and prepared to finally call it a night.

“I just hope you’re alright, Pa.  I wish you were here – but more than anything else – I just want you to be safe and come home,” Joe whispered and finally lighted down on his bed.  Still in his robe, he rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.

**************

Hoss stood when he heard the sound of heavy bootsteps outside on the porch.  Before Adam could pull himself to standing to see who it was at so late an hour, the door flung open and there stood Ben Cartwright in all his glory.

“Pa!” Hoss and Adam exclaimed in unison and headed across the room to greet the man.

“Hello, boys!” Ben smiled over at his two sons as he hurriedly removed his holster and tossed it along with his hat down onto the credenza.

“How did you get here?” Hoss asked taking a good look at the man who looked winded and a bit rough.

“I’ll tell you all about it in a bit.  Where’s Joseph?”

Adam frowned and glanced over at Hoss.  “Kid went to bed, Pa.  He kept telling us he didn’t want to celebrate today.  He said it didn’t matter and that it was just another day.  When I brought him your telegram, he took it hard, though he tried to hide it from the two of us.”

Ben rushed over to the grandfather clock and gave it a quick look.  “Five minutes to spare,” He grinned.  “One of you put away that poor horse that I rode in on, I’m afraid I worked the poor beast into a lather.”

“Horse?” Hoss questioned.  “What about the stage and your luggage?”

“Left it all behind and bought a horse, a saddle and well – I’ll explain later.  I’ve got a birthday boy to see, and I just barely have time to get up to his room.  Excuse me,” Pa called over his shoulder as he bolted towards the stairs.

***************

Little Joe was halfway asleep lying on his side facing away from the door to his room.  He never saw the thin shaft of light which came in with his father.  Ben approached his boy’s bed and slowly lowered himself down on the side opposite his son.  He gently reached for Joe’s shoulder, placing his hand up between his arm and the bottom of his neck.

“I just wanted to see my seventeen-year-old,” Ben whispered softly leaning down to where his boy was lying.

Joe blinked his eyes a couple of times wondering if he was dreaming.

“We’ve only got a couple of minutes until you’re another day older, Son.  How about rolling over?”

Little Joe was sure that he was losing his mind.  It was then that he felt the fingers of his Pa’s hand softly combing through the curls on his head.  Sudden realization hit him that he wasn’t dreaming, the touch was without a doubt real.

“Pa?” Joe whispered, half asleep at the time.  He rolled over and faced the man sitting next to him.  “Pa?  How did you get here?” He questioned; his face filled with disbelief as he drowsily sat up in bed.

“I have my ways, Joseph,” He quipped and then reached over and pulled his son into his arms, hugging him tightly.  “I’m sorry it took me so long – but at least I got here before you were seventeen and one day.”

“Pa – I never thought you’d make it!  I — well — I missed you.  I know I’m about grown – and I shouldn’t need my pa to be there on my birthday – but well,” Little Joe stopped to regroup a bit and gather his thoughts.  “I just wanted you here with me.”

“Oh, Joseph – it wouldn’t matter if we were a thousand miles apart, I’d be with you because you’re right here in my heart,” Ben whispered as he held his son close to his chest.  “Happy birthday, Son, I love you.”

“I love you too, Pa,” Little Joe choked out, his heart filled with overwhelming joy as he felt the strong arms of his father encasing his shoulders holding on to him like he was the only other person in the entire world.  Just as always, Pa had shown him how cherished he was by him.

Ben gently pulled Joe’s chin up and grinned down at him, “Oh, I had to leave your presents on the stage, Son.  I bought a horse and rode right out so I couldn’t bring them with me.  Sorry, you’ll have to wait a day or two to get them.”

Little Joe, still held in his father’s arms, closed his eyes and whispered, “I don’t need presents. I’ve got the only thing that I wanted – or needed.  I just wanted you here, Pa.”

His son’s words struck at his heart, letting him know that all his efforts to get home in time to tell his boy on his birthday how much he loved him had been well worth it.   Pa held his son in his arms and his mind reflected back to the day that Joseph was born.  It was hard to believe that his youngest was almost a man now.  He let out a contented sigh.  Much like the day his son had come into the world, Joseph’s seventeenth birthday was a day he would never forget.  Neither would Little Joe.

“Joseph?” Ben whispered.

“Yeah, Pa?”

“Let’s go get some birthday cake,” Pa smiled.

“Cake sounds good, Pa,” Joe grinned and nodded his head as he pushed back joyful tears.

Together the two of them walked out of the room and down the stairs.  They joined the rest of the family to sing happy birthday to Joe and eat birthday cake, even though it was past midnight.  It didn’t matter to Little Joe that it was technically the day after his birthday.   And he didn’t need to blow out any candles in order to get his wish granted.  He had already gotten exactly what he wanted for his birthday; his pa was with him.

The End

Written by Wrangler

10/1/2025

(Dedicated to Rob the story consultant, and to four of the best humans I’ve ever known who were born this month, Joan, Krishna Michael, Pat and Michael Landon)