Rating: K
Word Count=2526
Summary: An in-between story for Old Sheba. Hoss and Joe have signed a contract to perform with Angus Tweedy’s circus for 2 weeks. This story is about their first day and night with the circus.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bonanza or the Cartwrights. No copyright infringement is intended on Alex Sharp’s superb script, Old Sheba. Original plot and characters are property of the author. This story is for entertainment.
Reviews from the Old Library are on the last page.
The Swedish Grizzly
As the Tweedy Circus pulled into the town of Dayton, Joe nudged Hoss and pointed out the posters hanging on the mercantile that advertised the circus. Hoss and Joe stopped in front of a poster showing Hoss in a fighting stance. Emblazoned at the top of the poster in large letters was HOSS CARTWRIGHT—THE SWEDISH GRIZZLY. Joe was excited to see that one hundred dollar winner’s purse on the poster. Of course, Bear Cat Samson would get $75 of every $100 that Hoss won to send home to his wide and five children since Hoss had injured him during the match in Virginia City. The other $25 would be split between Joe and Hoss. Joe, of course, thought that he should get 75% of the $25 since he would be doing most of the work, promoting the wrestling matches. All Hoss would have to do is pin his opponents within the five minutes.
Mr. Tweedy told Joe to go over to the saloon with a couple of posters. He also told Joe to stir up interest in the wrestling match. Hoss and Bear Cat were sent over to the nearest hotel to get some rooms and to eat lunch in the dining room.
Upon entering the saloon, Joe approached the bar and ordered a beer. He looked in the mirror over the bar as he sipped at his beer to see the saloon’s clientele. There were a few cowhands sitting at a table and a few miners at another. None looked to be a match for Hoss’ abilities.
Joe turned around to look at the customers and cleared his throat. As all eyes turned to him, he held up a poster of Hoss. “Gentlemen, here’s your chance to earn one hundred easy dollars. All you have to do is come to the Tweedy Circus tonight. If you can pin this bear of a man in five minutes, you get the hundred dollars. All comers will get a chance. Anyone up for this?”
Many of the men in the saloon snickered into their beers. A couple looked at Joe and noted how scrawny he was compared to the figure of Hoss on the poster.
“Do we get to take you on, too, boy?” asked one customer.
“I think I could pin ya right now” said another.
More snickering followed these comments. Joe realized that he had to get attention on to Hoss so these men would come to the circus in a fighting mood.
“The Swedish Grizzly can chop down trees with two swings of an axe! He can blast through a mine faster than dynamite! He can take on an angry bull with his bare hands! He can…”
“Kid,” one customer interrupted, “if this Swedish Grizzly can do all that, why would any of us be fool enough to take him on?”
Joe had to think for a second. His answer had better be a good one or Mr. Tweedy wouldn’t be happy. “Women find the brute strength of the Swedish Grizzly irresistible. In fact, many women swoon at the mere sight of him.”
Laughter broke out among the saloon customers. “Do they swoon in fright, sonny?” jeered one grizzled miner.
“Are they a’feared that he’ll drag ‘em off to live in a cave?” asked a cowhand while gasping for air between guffaws.
Joe realized that he had just painted himself into a corner. He thought he’d better think fast or there’d be no takers for the match. Joe suddenly had a flash of absolute brilliance.
“Women like a man who can eat, right? The Swedish Grizzly can eat a whole steer in one sitting. A woman watching him eat could think of nothing but cooking for such a man. Women also like a man who’s handy around the home place, right? He can chop down trees in the morning, cut ‘em into boards with an axe by afternoon, and have a white picket fence up by evening. Think on it, gents. Do you want the women around here to tend to the Grizzly’s needs instead of yours?”
“Maybe I should hire this Grizzly away from the circus so some work can get done around my place” a cow puncher said. “My wife would sure like a fence around her flower garden.” Gales of laughter followed this cowhand’s remarks.
Joe realized that he wasn’t making any headway. “Any man who doesn’t step up to challenging the Swedish Grizzly might be viewed as scared. Don’t any of you want a try at that hundred dollars?”
Seeing he wasn’t making any headway with the saloon customers, Joe finished his beer and slunk out. He could hear laughter as the doors of the saloon swung shut behind him.
As he walked up the sidewalk to the hotel, Joe couldn’t help but notice two young ladies looking at the poster of Hoss. “Do you suppose he’s as big as that?” asked one to the other.
Realizing a sales opportunity, Joe decided if he could persuade the women that their men folk should take Hoss on, there would be several matches in the evening. “Afternoon, ladies” Joe said as he removed his hat. “One hundred dollars is a mighty large sum for wrestling a man. Think of all the things one hundred dollars could buy. Why, if I won that much money, I’d buy my girl new dresses and hats in the latest fashion, take her to San Francisco, stay in the finest hotel, and eat meals fit for royalty. Yessiree, that’s what I’d do with the prize money if I won the match.”
Both ladies had hung onto Joe’s every word. Their eyes had faraway, dreamy looks as he talked about San Francisco. One let out a sigh of longing and said “I believe I’ll tell my David to take on this Swedish Grizzly. I sure would like to see San Francisco.”
Her companion replied, “Not if my Freddie wins first.”
Joe stepped out of the way as the ladies headed down the sidewalk. He hoped that they would spread the word among their friends who would then tell their men to attend the match.
As Joe stepped into the hotel’s dining room, he saw Hoss polishing off a steak. Bear Cat was finishing off some mashed potatos.
“C’mon over here, little brother, and have a steak” said Hoss gesturing with his knife and fork. “Me and Bear Cat were just gettin’ started on lunch.”
“What do ya mean gettin’ started?” asked Joe.
“Why we each had steaks and the cook is fixin’ to send out another a piece. Plus, the cook has two apple pies in the oven for us. I’ll let you have a piece of my pie if you’d like” offered Hoss.
“Do you think you’ll be fit for wrestling if you eat all this?” asked Joe incredulously. Hoss’ ability for eating was famous in Virginia City. But he was supposed to be staying in fighting shape, not eating his way through the Nevada Territory.
“I wouldn’t worry ‘bout him” said Bear Cat. “He’s gotta keep up his strength for matches. He’ll need the energy if there are a lot of takers tonight.”
As Hoss and Bear Cat finished off their pies, Mr. Tweedy walked in. “Boys,” said Mr. Tweedy, putting his hands on Hoss’ and Bear Cat’s shoulders, “you’d best be gettin’ up to your rooms to get some rest. Hoss, I want you ready for tonight.”
When Hoss and Bear Cat were out of earshot, Tweedy asked Joe how the recruiting had gone for the match. “I went over to the saloon like you told me, but I couldn’t get anyone interested.” Tweedy knitted his brows together and looked as if he was going to snap off a rebuke. Joe quickly added “I decided to try a different tack. I’ve spread the word about the winner’s purse among the ladies, who’ll encourage the men to wrestle tonight.”
Tweedy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t want to part with his money because of a stampede of would-be wrestlers who might win.
By that evening, there was a crowd at the entrance to Tweedy’s tent. Tweedy noticed that many of the men looked like they came ready to wrestle.
As the time for the match to begin neared, Hoss became nervous. Joe was rubbing his tense shoulders and telling him that he could take any man there. Hoss noticed that many of the men were glaring at him while the women waited excitedly.
“What did ya tell these folks, Joe?” asked Hoss.
“Don’t worry, Hoss” assured Joe. “I told them all how strong you are and how much women admire your strength. Besides, would I say anything that could get us hurt?”
“Who’s us, Joe?” asked Hoss with a gulp.
Before Joe could answer, Tweedy announced the contest and asked the first challenger to step forward. A skinny, pimply-faced teenager stepped towards the ring.
“I cain’t wrestle him, Mr. Tweedy” said Hoss. “I’d snap him like a twig.”
“You have to take on all comers, Hoss” said Tweedy.
As the teenager approached Hoss, a young lady yelled out “Get ‘im, Ernie!”
Ernie took a swing at Hoss and the match began. Actually, Ernie was trying to hit Hoss but Hoss kept swatting Ernie’s hands away. The crowd began to snicker as Hoss practically danced around the ring. He was so afraid of hurting Ernie that he kept dashing from one side of the ring to the other. By the end of the long five minutes (Hoss could have sworn a half hour had passed), Tweedy called time. The crowd was now openly guffawing at Hoss’ antics.
“He should’ve been able to snap that beanpole in half with one flick of his wrist!” one man yelled out.
“I didn’t want to hurt that boy” Hoss told Joe.
The next challenger was a miner named Sam. Hoss noticed that Sam had some pretty strong looking arms. When Tweedy said go, Sam charged at Hoss, yelling “I’m gonna take down a grizzly!” Hoss managed to flip Sam over his shoulders and pinned him within one minute. The crowd groaned at Sam’s quick loss.
By the sixth challenger, Hoss was getting tired. “C’mon, Hoss, hang in there” encouraged Joe. “Just think of all the money we’re makin’ tonight.”
“You mean all the money we’re makin’ fer Bear Cat and his family, dontcha, Joe?” asked Hoss.
“Yeah, that’s what I meant” answered Joe.
The ninth challenger was a cowhand who seemed to think Tweedy was running a boxing match. Hoss took a punch to the left eye and then a jab to the right cheek. To keep from getting pummeled further, Hoss grabbed his opponent around the waist and hoisted him off the ground.
“Get ‘im, Mike!” should a feminine voice.
Joe turned around to see a delicate looking redhead encouraging Mike to beat the tar out of Hoss.
“Get that griz so we can go to Frisco!” yelled the redhead.
Joe returned his glance to the ring where Mike was trying to get a grip on Hoss to bring him down. Joe gulped nervously, worried about what would happen if Hoss lost. He thought back to the match in Virginia City when Tweedy called time early because Hoss was squeezing Bear Cat’s ribs so hard. Tweedy looked on worriedly, afraid he would lose another strong man so quickly.
“C’mon, Mike!” yelled the redhead again. “You’ll pay if I don’t get that trip to Frisco!”
“Just what did you promise these folks?” asked Tweedy, looking at Joe with narrowed eyes.
“I didn’t promise anything, Mr. Tweedy. I only made a few suggestions to the ladies on how they might spend the prize money.” Joe quickly turned his gaze back to the ring.
Hoss had managed to bring Mike to his knees and was holding him down with a firm grip on his shoulders. Surely five minutes had passed by now, thought Hoss. Mike managed to fire off a punch to Hoss’ belly. As the wind was knocked out of him, Hoss’ tired body started to fall. The smile quickly faded from Mike’s face as Hoss fell over on him in slow motion, pinning him to the floor.
Joe and Tweedy quickly ran to Hoss’ assistance to make sure he was alright. As they reached for one of Hoss’ hands, the redhead ran for the ring. “Get off a him, ya brute!” she yelled at a dazed Hoss.
Trying to be a gentleman in front of the lady, Joe extended a hand to Mike to help him up. Mike took Joe’s hand and stood up. The redhead rushed to Mike’s side to make sure he hadn’t been hurt too badly.
“You dream buster!” yelled the redhead as she punched Joe in the eye. He fell backward into a sitting position as the crowd broke into a cheer.
“Maybe you shoulda wrestled the Grizzly, Maggie!” yelled a miner in the crowd. More laughter erupted inside the tent.
“I shore would’ve liked that trip to Frisco” said Maggie rather wistfully.
“Give her my share of the winnings, Joe” said Hoss. I feel badly that she cain’t go on account of me fallin’ on her man.”
“You’re such a sucker, Hoss” replied Joe. “You feel sorry for the first pretty face you see. How can I be expected to successfully manage your career of you give away your share of the prize money for every pretty face?”
“Well, next time you can get in the ring” answered Hoss. “I believe this grizzly needs to hibernate for a few days so I can get my strength back.”
Joe sure hoped Bear Cat would be up to fightin’ strength again soon. He didn’t know if he could take two weeks of this. Maybe he could persuade Mr. Tweedy to let them out of their contract early, Joe thought, as his eye began throbbing. If Hoss only knew how he was sacrificing, thought Joe. Maybe he’d be more grateful for my management, he thought as he headed for the hotel where they were staying. Joe could hear Hoss’ snores from the lobby and thought that he’d have to get Hoss up early in the morning for training. Oh, how he was sacrificing for Hoss’ wrestling career!
The End
