Summary: The sequel to “Beautiful in My Eyes”, Little Joe struggles with the scar Francois left on his face, the Cartwrights search for the attacker and Hop Sing has a plan.  Rating T, WC 29,525 Links to stories in the series are included within.

The Beautiful in My Eyes Series:

Beautiful in My Eyes

No Night So Long

Every Storm Runs Out of Rain 

No Night So Long

***That day the long and dusty road had us both crying, we used up our last joke just to try to smile again.  And only now I find I know what we were learning, though it’s dark and you have traveled far.  Every long night gives you one bright shining star.  No night so long that you can’t find the day.  No day so wrong that you can’t find your way.  Call on me like you used to do, I still can show you who you are. *** (excerpt from song, “No Night So Long” written by Richard Kerr and Will Jennings)

*** Francois pointed towards the surrey on the other side of the campsite; a horse was tied to the back of it.  “I have taken the time to prepare a quick escape on horseback.  Before anyone can find you, I will be gone.  Never fear, Joseph, I will not kill you.  I will save you – save you by giving you that gift from Marie.  As beautiful as she was, I would never have allowed her into my bed if she had the kind of scar that I will leave for you!  Now you will no longer have to worry about which girl to dance with – because none will want you after tonight.”

“My father is going to kill you if you cut me!”

“Oh yes, Ben Cartwright – the man who spent the most money to buy Marie.  I won’t be seeing him on this trip, Joseph.  And, since he is your father, I won’t touch the side that belongs to him,” Francois held the tip of the stiletto up to the right side of Joe’s face.  “I will save the left side for your father, and the right side is where the gift from your mother will rest.”

Joe felt the sharp dagger- like sensation of the tip of the blade.  He involuntarily sucked in air.

“Jagged or straight?” Francois questioned, smiling.

“Please — please don’t!” ***

“Joseph – Joseph—wake up, Son – it’s just a dream – come on open your eyes,” Pa called softly, trying to gently bring the boy out from underneath yet another nightmare.

Joe shot up in his bed, his breathing both rapid and shallow.  As his vision cleared, confusion filled his eyes upon seeing Pa sitting there on the bed next to him.

“It’s okay – you just had another nightmare,” Ben attempted to calm his son with the soothing sound of his rich baritone voice.  “Was it the same one?”

Joe, still trying to get his bearings and slow his rapid breathing, pulled himself up against the headboard.  Wiping a hand across his face, Little Joe’s fingers came to rest on top of his wound.  Shakily touching the indention which had been made by the assailant’s knife he was catapulted back to the instant he had felt the initial stab of the sharp thin blade. When reality kicked back in, Joe frantically turned around in the bed, reaching underneath his pillow first.  When that failed to turn up what he was searching for, his hands sought out his blanket and, coming up empty-handed once more, Joe was now in an all-out panic.

Ben realized right away what his son was trying his best to locate.  He reached over to the nightstand and drew the cloth into his hand.  “Joseph – it’s right here.”

Joe’s hand shook as he snatched it from his father, placing it on the right side of his face.  It was only then that his heart stopped racing and he flung his head back against his pillows.

Ben’s eyes filled with despair when he realized how petrified Joe was to have that side of his face uncovered even though they were the only two souls there in the bedroom.  It cut him to the marrow to think of what his son would have in store for him in the future trying to live a life with such an awful scar.

“It’s okay, Son,” He reassured the boy, gently resting a hand on his shoulder.  “Remember last night – you agreed to take that bandage off when you go to sleep?”

Joe pressed the cloth to his face, attempting to secure it there.  “I – I can’t – not right now, Pa,” He insisted, his words coming out as a hitched stutter.

Ben didn’t want to belabor the issue, especially now after witnessing what the nightmare had done to his youngest.  He offered a patient smile and patted the boy’s shoulder trying to get him to relax.  “Well, maybe tonight – you can just try again?”

Joe dropped his head down to his chest feeling the weight of all that had happened to him in the last ten days.  He couldn’t shake the images from his dream and how the evil man had reappeared, still holding that odd looking knife to his face before plunging it into his cheek.

“Joseph?  Was it the same dream?” Ben coaxed, hoping that his son would confide in him so that it might help banish the haunting visions which just kept coming back in his sleep.

Joe admitted solemnly, “Yeah, Pa – the same one.  I see him kneeling down next to me – and then he holds up that knife and –,” He trailed off not being able to say what it had felt like to have been cut the way that he had; it was just too horrifying.  Joe reasoned that Pa didn’t need to hear all the gory details about how he had tried to scream the moment that the knife had first stabbed at his cheek, but it had never come out from his throat.  All he could remember after that was how the blade slipped effortlessly down his cheek towards his chin as though his face was made of paper.  The next thing he knew Hoss and Adam were removing the ropes that bound him to that pine tree.  He remembered trying to say both of his brother’s names, but his mouth was so full of blood he doubted anything had come out and then he passed out only to awaken there at the doctor’s office.  Joe could feel Paul prying his shirt and jacket off but he couldn’t move or call out to the man.  His next memory was there in the hotel room with Pa sitting next to him on the bed telling him that everything would be okay.  He knew that nothing would ever be okay again.

“I wish I could take that away from you, Son,” Pa said shaking his head sadly wishing it was in his power to purge the terrible memories so the boy could get some badly needed sleep.

Looking into his father’s compassionate eyes Little Joe fought to find the words but they were wedged firmly inside his throat.  *** I wish you could take it all away too, Pa! *** He thought to himself.  The tip of Joe’s tongue ran along the inside of his mouth, and he could still taste the blood just like he could still feel the sharp thin blade of the man’s knife.

“Joseph – it won’t always be like this,” Ben offered, doing his best to settle his son’s nerves.  Terror was still in Joe’s smoldering eyes, which had the glint of tears inside of them though he could tell that his son was trying his best to keep them at bay.

“I’m okay, Pa – you go on to bed,” Joe said in a valiant effort to pretend like he wasn’t still scared senseless.

“Would it help to talk more about it?” Pa continued, knowing that there was no truth to what his son had said.   The boy was far from being okay.

Dropping his face down into his hands Joe fought to control the range of emotions that he was dealing with at the time.  He was scared, something he never liked to admit, not even to his father; the one person in the world who understood him.   And, laced with that feeling of fear was the almost uncontrollable feeling of anger and hatred for two people at the time; the man who had scarred him and his mother, who Little Joe now blamed for her role in the whole terrifying ordeal.

“I – I still just don’t understand, Pa – why?  I didn’t do anything to that man – I’d never seen him before in my life!  He hated my mother — fine – but why take it out on me?” Joe’s words were plaintively delivered as he lifted his head and peered into his father’s eyes hoping for an answer that would make some sense to him.

“I just don’t know, Son – I just wish –,” Ben stopped short, not knowing what he could offer that might lessen his son’s pain.

“Why am I always the one who pays for what she did?  First it was Rene Marchant – and him insisting that he was my father and not you.  Finding out about the affair she had with him was bad enough.  And if I hadn’t fallen and needed surgery, we might never have found out the truth that you are my Pa and not him.  But this time – this time I end up scarred for life.  How many more men are going to come after me for what my mother did to them, Pa?”

Tenderly reaching over and resting his hand on the left side of his son’s face, Ben shook his head filled with more sorrow than he could express in words.  He wanted to explain that Marie would have been the first person who would have laid down her own life trying to protect the son she had loved so much.  But Ben knew that Joseph wasn’t ready to hear those kinds of things; not with the way he was feeling after just having gotten the many sutures out of his face and seeing the horrendous wound left behind.

“Son – we can talk more about this at another time – but right now you need to get some rest.”

“Oh, Pa, I know you can’t talk about it – because you still love her.  I don’t – she’s ruined my life!” Joe replied bitterly as he pressed the cloth against his face, still attempting to get it to stay put.

“Here,” Ben whispered and gently pulled the bandage off his son’s face. Reaching over to the nightstand, he opened the jar of collodion that Doctor Martin had been using to get the bandage to adhere to the wound.  He spread a bit onto the four sides of the material and then turned and secured the bandage onto his son’s right cheek, pressing down and holding it for just a minute.  He wasn’t going to fuss at the boy for what he had said about his mother because Pa knew how badly he was hurting.  “Do you need something to help you sleep, Joseph?  Doc left some sleeping powders in case you had any trouble.”

Drawing in a deep breath Little Joe shook his head and blotted the tears which had involuntarily slipped out from the corners of his eyes.   “No, Pa – I don’t want any.”

“How’s the pain right now?” He asked hesitantly.   Ben hadn’t wanted to bring up anything about the laudanum, but he also didn’t want his son to hurt, and Joe looked as though he was grimacing at the time.

Joe shook his head once again, very surprised that Pa would ask him that question and especially not after what he had done that night.  The bottle of laudanum had been purposefully hidden in the kitchen cabinet by his father.  But Joe had found it and squirreled it inside of his bureau intending to use it to take the pain away forever.  Pa had discovered that it was missing the previous night and had confronted him about it before Joe could do something more permanent about the scar that he now wore.  He had promised Pa that he wouldn’t do something like that again, and Joe had to keep that promise no matter how much he still thought about ending it all.

Clearing his throat Joe tried to dislodge his increased feeling of hopelessness.  He forced himself to sound like he was in full control when he replied, “It’s nothing I can’t handle.  I don’t need anything for it, Pa.  Go on and get some sleep.”

Hesitating at first, Ben finally pulled himself off the bed and dropped a hand down onto the boy’s shoulder.  “Promise to come and get me if you need me – or if the pain gets worse?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Try to sleep, Joseph,” Pa whispered, running his fingers softly through the boy’s hair trying to instill calm into him.  “Remember you agreed that you’d be coming downstairs for breakfast, right?”

“I will, Pa,” Joe affirmed a little too quickly, attempting to relieve his father of any more worry over him that night.  His eyes tracked to the door where Pa stopped and cast a reassuring smile aimed at him before he left.

Joe stared over at his nightstand where the picture of his mother rested against the green velvet backing of the frame.  He reached over and turned the picture faced down.   “I hate you – and all that you were and all of the pain you’ve caused me,” Joe muttered, filled with disdain.  He then reached for the lamp and turned the wick down low.   Closing his eyes, he prayed that he could keep the continuing assault of nightmares at bay for the rest of the night.

*************

“Little Joe – hey you up?” Hoss called through his brother’s bedroom door.

“Yeah – come on in, Hoss.”

Walking inside the bedroom, Hoss noticed Joe was already dressed and now sitting pulling on his boots.

“You about ready to get some grub?” Hoss asked jovially, as he settled a forced smile onto his lips.  He felt a bit edgy after the last conversation he had with his little brother the night before.

Joe pulled on his second boot and stood up.  He made sure that his bandage was securely in place and then crossed the floor to where his brother stood.

“Yeah—hey, Hoss – listen – I’m sorry for putting you on the spot last night,” Joe apologized sheepishly.  “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Hoss placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder and replied, “I understand, Little Brother.”

“Thanks,” Joe nodded over at the big man, who was always the first to forgive someone for a transgression.  He knew that it had been an awful thing that he had done by asking Hoss to tell him the truth about the appearance of his wound.  Pa had admonished Joe because of what he had done to his brother and how torn up it had made Hoss feel.  It had come out during their conversation about the laudanum, and he knew that his father was right.  Hoss hadn’t wanted to hurt him, Joe knew that, and he felt remorseful for forcing him to be brutally honest and agreeing with him that the wound looked awful.

“It’s okay, Joe.  You hungry?  I know you can’t have what I’ll be eating but pretty soon we’ll fatten you up.”

“Yeah – hey – Hoss – I need to ask you for a favor,” Joe began, standing there next to his brother and nervously wondering how he was going to explain what was on his mind.

“What?”

“Can we – can we change places?  I mean there at the table.  Is it okay?”

Hoss’ face took on a perplexed appearance as he stared down at the boy.  “Huh?  You’ve always sat there off to Pa’s right – I mean you picked that place at the table way back when we wuz kids.  What’s up, Little Brother?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders helplessly.  He didn’t want to tell his brother why it was suddenly so important to sit on the other side of their father, but it was.
“How about it?”

“Okay, it doesn’t really matter to me, as long as I get fed.  Come on let’s get down there,” Hoss grinned and put his arm around Joe’s shoulder and steered him out into the hallway.

************

Ben walked in from the kitchen and noticed all three of his sons were there at the dining table.  He cast a bewildered glance over to where his youngest son was sitting.  Deciding not to say anything for fear of sending the boy back up to his bedroom, he simply took his place at the head of the table.

“Well, it’s nice to have the four of us sitting in here together for a change,” Ben announced cheerily and reached for the coffee pot.  He passed cups of coffee over to Hoss and Adam.  “Sorry, Joseph—but maybe, if Doc gives you the go-ahead when he checks your mouth at the end of the week, you’ll be able to have some coffee soon.”

Joe sipped at the pale brown liquid inside his coffee cup and groaned.  “Yeah, bad enough that I have to drink tea but to have to choke it down lukewarm isn’t very easy,” Joe admitted.

“Tea good for you, Little Joe,” Hop Sing grinned as he walked over to the youngest and sat a bowl of cooled porridge in front of him.  “You eat all up,” He insisted and hurried back into the kitchen.

Staring first at the very unappetizing contents of the bowl in front of him and then across the table where Hoss was plowing into steak and eggs Joe sighed.  “You wouldn’t want to swap with me, would you?” He asked his brother.

“Go ahead and try to get that steak from Hoss, Joe.  You’ll pull back a hand minus a few fingers,” Adam quipped.

Ben smiled to hear his boys attempting to avoid the unasked question about why Joe now sat to his left.  He thought about it as he sipped his coffee and studied the boy’s face.  The side which carried the scar and was covered with the bandage was now facing him whereas if Joe had maintained his former seating arrangement the bandage would be facing Adam and would’ve been seen more easily by Hoss as well.  Evidently Joseph was more comfortable with only his father seeing the bandage and so he wouldn’t mention it to him.

“Hey, Little Brother, Harve Jenkins mare foaled and he’s got the best-looking colt that I ever did see,” Hoss remarked, trying his best to lift the boy’s spirits.  “In about three years I just betcha he’ll want you to gentle it for him.  Everyone knows that you’ve got the makings of the best wrangler around.”

Absent mindedly Joe’s right hand found its way up to his bandage, fingering it as he fell deep in thought.  He knew he wouldn’t be breaking horses for a long while, if ever again.  Joe wouldn’t dare get on a bucking bronc with a bandage on his face for fear it would come off, and everyone around the breaking corral would be staring at the horrid scar.

Ben cast a quick glance at Joe and then shot a concerned look over to his other sons giving them the subtle nod that let them know to change the subject.

“Hey, Kid, Mitch dropped over yesterday while Hoss and I were at the branding corral and asked about you,” Adam remarked casually.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Little Joe bit at his bottom lip, a very apparent display of fear controlling his face.  He didn’t want to see anyone, including his best friend.  “What did he ask?”

“Oh, he just said he missed you and hoped you would be feeling better soon.”

Setting his tea down after taking a few nervous sips, he responded, “I guess the word’s out about me, huh?”

Adam stared apprehensively at his father as he wondered how to answer his brother’s question.

Trying to help his eldest, Ben jumped in, “Well, the word did get out that you’d gone missing, Joseph, that’s all.”

Joe shook his head adamantly, not accepting what Pa had used as an excuse.  “Pa, I know everyone’s heard by now that my face is messed up.  Linda knew about it when we left the hotel just two days after it happened.  You three don’t have to try so hard to dance around what’s going on in town.  I’m sure my face being destroyed is great fodder for the gossips in Virginia City,” He retorted angrily.  “Excuse me,” Joe threw his napkin on the table and stood.

All three men watched as Little Joe hastily headed up for the safety and security of his bedroom.  Ben frowned and shook his head sadly.

“I’m sorry, Pa – I guess I shouldn’t have mentioned Mitch,” Adam apologized.

“No, Son – it’s not that – it’s all that he’s dealing with and trying to cope with something which would be hard on anyone of us.  Joseph had another rough night, getting awakened by nightmares again.  Sometimes we forget what that boy went through –and how it must be weighing on him.  Just the thought that anyone could cut –,” Ben had to stop himself.  Every time he thought about his youngest being tied up to a tree and getting cut with a knife his blood ran cold and all he wanted to do was to go and kill the madman who had done it.  He would find that man somehow, Ben had sworn it to himself; but now wasn’t the time.

“Anything we can do, Pa?” Hoss interjected, trying to break the mounting tension he felt coming from the head of the table.

Ben sighed and shook his head at a total loss over what anyone could do to help his youngest.  “Not right now, Hoss – you two finish eating and I guess get back to that branding.  I’ll go up there in a little while and see what I can do about trying to get him to go outside for a bit.”

“I was going to head into town when we get done and maybe talk to Roy to see if anything turned up about who took the kid,” Adam announced setting his coffee cup down.

“I think he wants to talk to Joe again—it’s been about a week since he tried back before Joe could speak.  Go ahead and ask him when he plans to come out here, Adam, and then I’ll let your brother know to expect a visit from Roy.”

Hop Sing, who stood just inside the kitchen, had listened to everything that had been said at the dining table.  He walked back over to the family and neared Adam.

“Mister Adam?  Please to mail letter for Hop Sing?” He asked as he removed the letter from the pocket of his smock.  Hop Sing sounded urgent in his request, and all three men took note of the serious tone to his voice.

Adam took it from the cook’s hand and nodded.  “I’ll mail it today while I’m in town, Hop Sing,” He paused and studied the name on the front of the envelope.  “I guess this must be a letter to one of your many cousins, huh?”

Hop Sing shook his head and responded, “No – it for elder – honorable great Uncle Li Sing.  He came America month ago.  Hop Sing write letter – ask Uncle Li Sing come see me and meet my American family.”

Ben grinned over at Hop Sing and returned, “We’d love to have your uncle come for a visit.  You just let us know when he’s due to arrive and we’ll roll out the red carpet for him.”

Hop Sing stood there bewildered over what the other man had said.  “No have red carpet, Mister Ben.  Hop Sing not know where to get one.”

Hoss and Adam laughed and then looked over to their father wondering how he would be explaining the words he had chosen to use.

“Oh – Hop Sing – that’s just an expression,” Ben replied and shot his two sons a very displeased glare.  They seemed far too amused to see him put on the spot at the time.

“Expression? What it mean, Mister Ben?”

“Well – ah –,” Pa paused and drew in a deep breath trying to figure out how best to explain to the cook what it meant.  “It just means that we will do our best to make your great uncle’s visit a pleasant one.”

Hop Sing shook his head and stared into his boss’ eyes with a very disgruntled look on his face.  “Why not say what mean and mean what say?”

“Sorry,” Ben apologized as he witnessed the cook’s return to the kitchen and heard the long string of Chinese chastisements he sent out.

“You handled that pretty good,” Hoss laughed and patted his father’s arm grinning.

Pa just shook his head and sighed.  *** As if I don’t have enough problems – I’ve got to watch what I say from now on, so I don’t cause and international incident *** He thought to himself as he polished off his coffee.

***************

“Joseph?” Ben sang out as he walked inside his son’s room a little while after breakfast.

Joe had been caught up in his morose musings staring out the window at what used to be his life.   He turned toward the voice, “Yeah, Pa?”

“How about coming outside with me? I’m going to work on my ledgers out on the front porch since it’s such a nice day – it’s a shame to stay indoors.”

Shaking his head in disbelief due to what his father had said Joe announced, “Pa – I’m not going out there!”

Proceeding over to the window, Ben attempted to read what was on the boy’s face at the time. “Why?”

“Come on, Pa!  You know why.  Because of this!” Joe sang out as he pointed to his bandage.

“Joe – it’s just going to be the two of us – no-one else.  The hired hands are all out working on either fencing projects or are up with the herd.”

“Why is it so important that I go outside – I mean I can’t do any work yet – at least according to Doc.”

Ben dropped a hand down onto Joe’s shoulder and forced his gaze.  “You don’t have to work – but I want you to get out of the house.  How about going to see Cochise?  I’m sure she misses you.”

Joe stood and walked over to his bed and sat down.  He lifted his hand up to cover his bandage and whispered.  “This thing keeps coming down – I don’t want that to happen outside, Pa – so I’m not taking any chances.”

Walking over to his son’s nightstand Ben opened the drawer and pulled out more bandage material and scissors.  He carefully cut another bandage and then turned to Joe and said, “That’s an easy fix, Joseph.”  Ben reached over and removed the old bandage from his son’s face and then secured the new one into place once again by applying the collodion solution to the four sides and pressing down to get it to stay in place.  “Now – no more excuses, Young Man.  You don’t have to stay out long – but you need to get out of this house.”

Joe pushed the bandage onto his face, still worried that it wouldn’t stay in place.  “Pa – if anyone stops by –,” He trailed off, his voice shaking at the very thought of anyone outside of the family seeing him.

“You’ll either be in the barn or out on the porch with me.  If someone comes while you’re out with Cochise, I’ll keep them from going into the barn – and if you’re with me on the front porch, you’ll be able to see a rider if anyone were to come by.  Now let’s go.”

Dropping his head into his hands Joe whispered, “Pa – you just don’t understand —.”

Lifting his son’s chin, he stared into the boy’s troubled eyes and returned emphatically, “I DO understand, Joseph – but you’ve got to make an effort to get out some.  I’m not saying you have to stay out long—just long enough to get some air.  It’ll be good for you.  For ten days now you’ve been holed up either in this house or that hotel.  You’ve never liked being stuck inside any room for long, Joseph, and you’ve always found a way to sneak out of here even when you were hurt.”

“That’s different, Pa – I never had a big bandage on my face — and an ugly wound hiding underneath it either,” Joe protested.

“It’ll be okay, Son,” Ben returned quietly trying his best to assuage his son’s worries.

“Yeah, you said we’d be okay leaving the hotel and look what happened!  Linda showed up and I had to hide my face so that didn’t work either!”

“Let’s go,” Pa stated firmly and grabbed Joe’s arm, pulling him to standing.  He had to put aside his sympathy over what had happened to the boy so he could try to make him re-enter the life that was outside waiting for him.  Ben needed to somehow get his son to leave the security of his bedroom, or he would continue to hide from the rest of the world.

Joe’s hand nervously pushed down on his bandage as Pa led him to the bedroom door.

*************

“Hi, Roy.” Adam called over to the sheriff as he walked inside the jailhouse.

Roy pushed his spectacles down his nose and peered up at the other man.  “Good to see you, Boy.  How’s your Pa and brothers?” He asked coming out from behind his desk and reaching over to shake Adam’s hand.

“Fine – well of course all of us except Little Joe.  The kid’s still having a hard time of it due to that wound of his,” Adam returned as Roy offered him a chair and he sat down.

Roy let out a discouraged groan and shook his head.  “I been going over everything that boy wrote down a week ago but I still ain’t got a clue as to who cut him up.  It just don’t make the least bit of sense to me.  Seems to me your brother thinks that man had some kind of a grudge with his Ma and took it out on him.”

Adam nodded and then stared over at the many notes that were piled up on the sheriff’s desk.  “Mind if I take a look at what Joe wrote?”

“Help yourself,” Roy answered and handed the scraps of paper to Joe’s brother.

Adam read all the notes and frowned when he saw the things that Joe had written about his mother.  Then he stared at the strange looking knife that was in the one drawing the kid had done.

“So, this is supposed to be what that man used on Joe?”

“That’s what he said after we asked – well he didn’t exactly say it – but he nodded when I asked him.  I’ve never seen a knife like that.  The only solid clue I have so far is that description of the man and that Bill Gentry thinks it was someone who was staying there at the International House for about a week.  He pulled up stakes the day before Little Joe got taken.”

“Hey – would you mind if I kept this drawing for a little while?  I’d like to see what I can find out about it in some of the old books that I’ve collected over the years.  Maybe I can at least figure out what it’s called?”

“I don’t see why not,” Roy agreed.   “But when you’re done with that picture you be sure and give it back to me.  I’ve got to keep it in case we find that jasper – it’ll be evidence.”

Adam tucked the drawing inside of his shirt pocket and nodded his thanks.   “Pa wanted to know when you’ll be coming out to the ranch to talk to Little Joe.”

“The sooner the better – is the boy back to talking?”

“Yes, Doc lifted the restrictions so he’s back to being able to speak again.  You know that we all want to try and find this man – to take care of the problem and maybe smooth things over about the way Joe’s feeling about his Ma.”

Roy stood back up and walked around his desk.  “How about I come on out tomorrow afternoon?”

Adam smiled and stood, shaking the man’s hand before leaving.  “That’ll be fine, Roy, see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll be there—good luck with your research!”

“Thanks,” Adam returned and then, with renewed determination, he headed for the door.

***************

Ben’s mind couldn’t stay focused on his ledgers as he sat on the front porch and erased another two columns of his figures.  Joe had gone into the barn almost an hour ago and hadn’t reappeared.   He figured the boy was probably giving Cochise a good grooming or telling the horse his problems as was his habit.  Hop Sing brought out some coffee for Ben and some watered-down tea for Joe and then returned to the kitchen.  Finally, deciding that he should go check on Joe, he stood and closed his books.

Joe was kneeling just inside of the open barn door when his father walked in.  Ben couldn’t see what his son was doing or why he appeared so pensive at the time.

“Joseph?”

Joe had something cupped in his hand as he looked up at his father and replied, “Yeah, Pa?”

Ben stooped down to see what the boy was doing.  “What have you got there, Son?”

Holding his hand out so his father could see, he answered, “That stray cat that’s been hanging around for a while got spooked when I turned to leave and it dropped this out of its mouth.”

“It looks like a sparrow — but it’s not in very good shape.  Maybe we’d best put it out of its misery?” He said examining the small bird.

“No!” Joe shouted and pulled the bird back towards his chest.

Ben was shocked to hear his son yelling as loudly as he had over an injured bird.  He wondered just what was going on in the boy’s mind and why he had reacted that way.

“Joseph,” He began and forced a calm into his voice.  His son rarely, if ever, raised his voice to him but he knew that Joe was beside himself due to all that he had endured so he didn’t admonish him over his outburst.  “This bird has been mauled – the humane thing to do is to put it out of its misery.”

Joe shook his head insistently and then finally stared into his father’s eyes.  There was something in the boy’s gaze that let Ben know that he wasn’t going to kill the bird even if it was the right thing to do at the time.

Ben watched as his son gently caressed the sparrow’s beak where most of the blood rested.

“Pa?  Do you have a handkerchief on you?”

Ben stood and pulled one out of his pants pocket.  “Here,” He called to his son and handed it down to him.

Ever so gently Little Joe dabbed at the blood that was there on the side of the sparrow’s face next to its beak.  “It’s okay—it’s okay,” He whispered.

It was at that moment that Pa realized why seeing the injured bird had affected his son the way it had.  The sparrow had been bitten by the cat in the exact same area of its face where Joe had been cut by his attacker’s knife.  Ben felt awful for not understanding why telling him to put the bird out of its misery had been the very worst thing that he could have said at the time.  It was obvious that Joseph was relating to the injured creature due to his own pain.  ***The Good Lord knows when even one sparrow falls. *** Ben thought to himself as he looked with empathy towards both the boy and the injured sparrow.

“I want to see if I can save it, Pa,” Joe explained as he pulled himself to standing, still holding the bird in his left hand.  “I’m gonna see if Hop Sing still has that old bird cage.”

Ben smiled understandingly and nodded to the boy, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.  “Joseph – now you can try – but a small bird like that – well – it might not make it.  I just don’t want you to be upset if –,” He trailed off.

“I’ll be more upset if I don’t try, Pa,” Little Joe answered sincerely.

“Okay, let’s go check with Hop Sing,” Ben returned and walked with the boy back to the house.  He wasn’t quite sure how things would work out, especially if the sparrow were to die, but Ben reasoned that at least for the moment it had given Joseph something else to focus on besides his wound.

***************

Just as soon as supper was over Joe walked into the living room where he had temporarily placed the birdcage.  He waved Hoss over to have a look at it.

“Tell me what you think, Big Brother.  You’re the expert on all creatures great and small,” Little Joe said as he carefully lifted the sparrow out of the cage.

Hoss’ massive right hand held the small bird as he inspected the injury it had sustained due to the cat.  He carried it over to the lamp next to his father’s red leather chair.

“Gosh, I don’t know, Little Joe.  Looks like that cat sure got this critter there by its beak.  Has it been eating or just kind of laying around inside that cage all day?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Hop Sing helped me get it some small seeds and a few berries.  He said he thought that’s what sparrows like to eat.  But I haven’t seen him eat anything yet.  You think he’ll make it?”

Pa and Adam gathered around to hear what the family expert would say.  They cast worried glances back and forth, neither wanting to be the one to suggest that Joe should just put the bird out of its misery.

Hoss further examined the sparrow and then announced, “Well, Little Brother, it don’t feel like either wing is busted – so that’s a good thing.  But – well – he sure got it there by his beak.  I guess that cat tried to get a good bite into the poor critter.”

Joe accepted the sparrow back into his hand and stared up at Hoss.  “You think there’s anything I can do for him?”

Hoss turned to see both his father and older brother staring over at him.  He knew what they were thinking and if he were to be totally honest, Hoss knew that he’d have to agree and put the sparrow down.  But Little Joe looks so pathetic as he held the bird close to his body that Hoss knew he couldn’t say it to the boy.  His little brother was just barely getting by due to his injury and all the worry he had bottled up inside of him at the time.  Hoss knew he’d have to try to offer him a more hopeful prognosis no matter what the outcome might be.

“I guess if you’re set on trying to heal that bird that you should just keep it warm and watch to see how it does over the next day or two, Little Joe.”

Joe nodded and patted his brother’s arm, “Thanks — I’m going to take the cage up to my room.  I’ll put him where there’s no draft and see if he’ll start eating.”

Ben, Adam and Hoss all watched as Little Joe placed the sparrow into the cage and headed up to his bedroom.  Each man wondered how the boy would react should the bird die.

“Thank you, Son,” Ben said and patted Hoss on the shoulder.  “You handled that very tactfully.”

Hoss shrugged his shoulders and remarked, “Pa, I don’t know all that much about birds, but that little thing got bit – and I’m not sure if it will make it through the night.  But I just couldn’t tell Joe that.  The kid’s just barely hanging in there – I know he’s hurting – I just couldn’t tell him to let me put the sparrow out of its misery.”

Taking a seat in his chair, Ben nodded up to his son and replied, “I know — and the fact that the sparrow’s wound happens to be in the exact area where Joseph’s wound is on his face– well – I think it’s played a big part in him wanting to save the little creature.”

Adam sat down in the blue winged back chair and drew out the drawing he’d gotten from Roy.  “Pa, Roy let me have a look at everything Joe wrote down –and he gave me the drawing of the knife.  I thought that maybe I could try and find something like it in one of the books up in my room.  I don’t know if it will provide much of a clue for us in trying to find out who did this to the kid, but it’s worth a try I guess.”

“Thank you for not saying anything about it in front of Joe,” Ben returned.

“No – I wasn’t going to.  Oh, Roy’s going to be out sometime tomorrow afternoon.  You said you’d let Joe know, right?”

“Yes, I suppose Roy will be asking Joe more about what happened to him to see if there’s anything more that he can add.”

“He sure isn’t very happy with his Ma right now,” Adam frowned.  “He’s blaming her for what that lunatic did to him.”

“I don’t understand?” Hoss questioned, jumping in on the conversation.  He hadn’t asked his father or little brother anything about what the boy had said to the sheriff a week ago.

Ben sighed and shook his head at a loss over what to do about how his youngest was feeling about his mother at the time.  “The man obviously told Joseph that he had known his mother and that he held a grudge against her for some reason.  I don’t know all that was said between the two of them that night – only Joseph can tell us that.  But he did tell me that the man said that he was going to scar his face as a gift from Marie.”

“He’s obviously insane,” Adam returned filled with anger over what the man had done to his brother both physically and emotionally.

Ben crossed his arms over his chest, attempting to hold in his pent-up rage due to all that had transpired between Joe and his assailant.  “Insane and deadly, Adam,” He cautioned.   “And since we don’t know where he is right now, we all just need to be extra diligent and watch our surroundings at all times just in case he’s still somewhere close by.”

Adam stood and walked over to his father, placing a hand down onto his shoulder to comfort him.  “We will, Pa – don’t worry.  I’m going to take this drawing up to my room and go hit the books.  I’ll let you know if I come up with anything.

“Thank you, Son,” Ben smiled gratefully and then watched Adam heading towards the staircase.

“I think I’ll go and check on Little Joe to see how he’s doing with that bird,” Hoss announced and headed up to his brother’s room.

Ben leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, falling deep in thought.  There was something nagging at his mind that he couldn’t quite put his finger on and all concerning Marie.  He hoped that somehow, he’d find the right words to get Joseph to understand that his mother would never have wanted her son to pay for anything she’d done in her past.

*************

“Come on in, Roy,” Ben bid the lawman inside the house the next afternoon, leading him over to the settee.

“How are you doing, Ben?”

“Fine — sorry to have you come out here – we’d have come into town but-”

Roy jumped in finishing his friend’s thoughts.  “I know – I’ve talked to Doc – I know Little Joe’s having a time of it.”

“Afraid so,” Ben returned as Hop Sing entered the room and set down a coffee pot and two cups.  “Thank you, Hop Sing,” Ben commented and the cook nodded and returned to the kitchen.  He poured a cup for the sheriff and handed it over to him.

“Thanks, Ben,” He smiled and took a sip.  “Is Joe up and around?”

“Yes – he’s in his room right now.  Do you want me to go and get him?”

Roy pursed his lips and tried to choose his words carefully.  “I kind of wanted to talk to you first, Ben.  Then I’ll ask Little Joe a few questions.”

Ben settled back in his chair reading the expression on the other man’s face.  “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

“I won’t beat around the bush, Ben, we’ve always talked straight with each other.”

To that statement Ben simply nodded and waited.

“This business about what Joe said about that man and his mother knowing each other.  Well, do you have any clue as to who it could’ve been?”

“No – I don’t – I would’ve already told you if I did, Roy.  I want to catch that man probably more so than Joseph does at this point.  He cut my boy!  God help him if I get him in my sights.”

“I had to ask – I didn’t know if you were trying to keep something from Marie’s past a secret to prevent Joe from finding out about it.  I remember that Marchant fellow showing up at the beginning of the year – and all that the four of you went through because of him.”

Ben drew in a deep breath trying to purge the memory of Rene Marchant from his mind.  He stood and reached for a book that Adam had left there on the coffee table.  He opened it to where the earlier drawing that Joseph had made rested next to the picture that his eldest had pointed out to him earlier in the day.

“Adam was able to match the drawing that Joe made to a picture in one of his books.  Here,” Ben handed it over to Roy for him to study.

“The thing’s called a stiletto?  I ain’t never heard of it,” Roy frowned as he studied it.

“I’d forgotten that I saw several during my days there in New Orleans.  Some of the men there like that type of a knife – it’s easier to conceal,” Ben returned with a frown drawing down the corners of his mouth.

Shaking his head Roy sighed, “That thing sure can do some damage.  I can’t hardly think of what Little Joe went through that night.  I feel so bad about it, Ben.”

“I do too.  The boy’s having a real tough time – not only to be left with that wound on his face but he’s dealing with some very horrible nightmares too.”

“Well, if you ain’t got anything else to tell me about Marie then I guess I’d better talk to Joe now if you can go fetch him?”

“I’ll be right back.  You help yourself to the coffee, Roy,” Ben answered and headed up to the boy’s bedroom.

*************

Little Joe turned when he saw the door open and his father approaching.  He had been staring into the birdcage at the time.

“How’s the sparrow doing today, Son?” Ben attempted to slowly ease into the news of Roy’s arrival by asking about the wounded bird as he drew near his son.

Joe frowned as he stood from where he had been kneeling next to the cage which was perched on his nightstand.

“Not too good, Pa – I’m not sure he’s going to make it.”

“Is it still bleeding?” Ben asked as he examined Joe’s face and read the worry etched there.

Mindlessly pressing his bandage down on his cheek Joe answered, “No – it’s not that, Pa.  I think he’s in shock – that cat must’ve scared him half to death — hurting it like that.”

Ben realized what his son had said could’ve just as easily described what Joseph was still going through.  In so many ways the boy still acted like he’d never gotten over his own shock after having been cut the way that he had.  Ben had to clear his throat to get to the point of his visit.

“Joseph – Roy’s downstairs.  Are you up to answering some questions?”

Joe drew in a hesitant breath and dropped his head down for a minute to consider his pa’s question.  “Okay – but could you help me — I need to get my bandage to stick better.  I don’t know if it’s humid in here or if I’ve been sweating – but it keeps slipping, Pa.”

Ben knew his son had been nervous about the sheriff’s visit and he surmised that Joe’s worry was causing him to perspire more than usual.  “Sure, come on over to the bed and sit down.”

Removing the bandage, Ben realized that Joe had been telling the truth as both sides of the cloth were wet by the time he held it there in his hands.  “Let’s just redo it.  It will only take a minute – I already cut a new one this morning.

Sitting patiently, Joe waited for his father to prepare the new bandage.  He didn’t want to take a chance on it falling down while speaking to Sheriff Coffee or anyone else in the house for that matter.  Pa patted his cheek with a towel to dry it good and then placed the new cloth over the wound and held it there for just a minute before removing his hand.

“There – that’ll do it,” Pa smiled and patted his son’s shoulder trying to offer the boy the reassurance that he knew he needed.  “You ready?”

Joe nodded and followed his father out of the room and down the stairs.  He walked over to the sheriff and held out his hand to him.

“Hi, Little Joe,” Roy smiled as he stood and shook the boy’s hand.  “How are you doing?”

Joe thought to himself how strange it was that anyone would ask such a question of someone wearing a huge bandage on their face.  “Fine.” He returned, thinking it was the expected response to such a stupid question.

Ben cleared his throat after witnessing the exchange.  “Go ahead and sit down the two of you.”

Joe settled on top of the coffee table and noticed the book lying there.  He reached for it and was about to look at the page which was marked with a piece of paper sticking out of it when Pa jumped up and took it from him.  Joe stared over at his father, bewildered by his sudden move.

“What is that, Pa?”

Ben cast an uneasy glance over at Roy and then back to his son.   “I’ll explain later, Joseph.”

Joe could tell that whatever was held inside of the book must concern him somehow.  Growing angered he shook his head and replied, “Just show me, Pa!  What – did you find a picture of the man who cut me or something?”

“No – of course not.”

“Then give it here!” Joe insisted angrily, holding his left hand out in front of him.

Roy stared over at Ben and felt bad for the man to have been put on the spot by the boy.

“Joseph —,”

“Pa – I’m going to find out – whatever it is – just show me,” Joe persisted.

Frowning, Ben handed Adam’s book over to his son.  He watched as Joe pulled his drawing of the knife out from where it marked the page which described what a stiletto was.

“That’s it,” Joe muttered witnessing the sketch there inside the book. He then stood on unsteady legs intending to leave the room.   His father caught his elbow preventing his retreat.

“Joseph—it’s okay.  Adam was just trying to figure out what kind of a knife you had drawn.  I’m sorry.”

Trying not to break down in front of either his father or the sheriff, Joe bit at his bottom lip and looked away from both men.  Trying valiantly to hide his fear and the almost uncontrollable need to run out of the room, Joe held his position.

“Why don’t you sit down and have some coffee, Little Joe?” Roy asked when the room grew uncomfortably quiet.

“Can’t have coffee because I’ve got a big gash in my mouth and on my face, I guess due to a stiletto,” Joe muttered ironically, still caught between anger and fear.

“Come on, Son,” Ben whispered and placed a reassuring hand onto the boy’s shoulder.  Joe felt stiff, possibly due to the memory that the picture of the stiletto had conjured up in his mind.  “Just sit down for a minute.”

Joe shoved the book closed tossing it back on the table.  He took a seat in the blue chair and dropped his head down.  Knowing that he would have to pretend that he was in total control with both men staring over at him he finally spoke up, “Okay – what do you want to ask me, Roy?”

The sheriff looked over at Ben with apprehension in his eyes.  He tried to gauge if the boy would be able to hold up to his questions.  It was then that he saw Ben nod his way sending him his approval.

“Little Joe, do you think you could go over that night with me to see if I missed anything?  I know you did your best that day that you had to write things down because you couldn’t talk but –well –I just need to know if there’s anything else.”

Joe stared over at his father and then back to Roy and then replied, “What part do you need me to tell you about?”

“I know it’s hard to remember everything –,” Roy began but was cut short when Joe stood and raised his voice, interrupting him.

“Hard to remember?  Are you serious?  I can tell you every single word that the bastard said to me before he gutted me with that – that –,” Joe stopped and walked to the coffee table and pulled the book back into his hands.  “Yeah—stiletto – gutting me with that stiletto!  You want to hear it all?”

“Joseph— Joseph – settle down now,” Ben tried to calm the boy as he drew close to him taking him by the shoulders.  He could easily tell that Joseph was shaking but not in fear this time but in a blue rage over what had happened to him.

“You honestly believe that I don’t remember everything that happened to me the night that my life was destroyed forever, Roy?” Joe shouted, more to the heavens than to the sheriff.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Boy,” Roy apologized trying to diffuse the boy.

Joe dropped his head down, embarrassment spreading all over his face. He realized that he had blown up at Roy when it wasn’t his fault that his face was cut up and hidden behind a bandage.  “Listen, Roy – I’m sorry,” He apologized.

“Maybe it’s just too soon,” Ben jumped into the fray.

“No – no, Pa,” Joe sighed and walked back to the chair.  He sat down and tried to regroup his emotions.  “I want to get it all out in the open.  I’ll tell you everything I can remember, Roy.”

“Go on, Little Joe,” The sheriff coaxed the boy.

“I got hit just after I made it inside the livery stable. Something hit the side of my head and knocked me down – but I was still conscious.  I got to my feet and saw the silhouette of someone there in the doorway.  Then he must’ve hit me again because the next thing I knew I was tied to a tree somewhere with the ropes going around my chest.”

Ben retook his seat and held his breath as every minute detail began to pour out of his son’s mouth.  He could read the intensity on Joe’s face along with the pain and fear.

“He said that he was a friend —and I asked him who he was – because I knew he wasn’t any friend of mine.  That’s when he ran his hand through my hair and down my face saying that I reminded him of “her”.  I didn’t know who he was talking about, but he later let me know that it was my mother that he was referring to.  He said that he lavished her with gifts — you know jewelry and furs – stuff like that.  And she repaid him by sharing her bed with him,” Joe stopped as he noticed his father’s head had dropped down to his chest.  He hated to hurt Pa, but he had to get the story out.  “He said that she used him until he ran through his fortune.  When she couldn’t get anything else off of him, she refused to let him into her bed again and when he tried to stay that she scarred him with her fingernails.  He said the scar didn’t last – unlike mine of course!” Joe stopped and began pacing in front of the fireplace.  Ben and Roy exchanged wary glances worried that Joe was pushing himself too hard at the time. However neither man made any attempt to stop the boy knowing that Joe needed to vent out what he’d gone through for his own sake.

“He said he would give me a scar that wouldn’t go away – and it would be a gift from my mother and from him.  He said it would – in his words – prevent me from living a life of whoredom like my mother had lived.”

Ben almost jumped out of his chair after hearing those words but he somehow managed to hold back for Joe’s sake.  He knew the boy had to release the memories from his mind and he figured he was well on his way to doing that.

“He said that he’d been watching me – and was there at the dance all night.  He even saw when I gave Linda a kiss on her cheek.  He said that when he cut me up that I wouldn’t have to worry about which girl to take to a dance—because no girl would ever want to be with me again.  He kept that promise as you can see,” Joe laughed bitterly and shook his head over the way his life had ended that night.  “I told him that he wouldn’t get away with it— and he showed me that he’d already had it planned.  There was a horse tied to the back of the surrey so he’d get away before anyone could find me.  I pleaded with him not to cut me – but he just laughed at me.  I guess I stayed conscious until that long thin blade got sunk into my cheek and slowly began to slice my face open.  Next thing I remember is Adam and Hoss untying me and then I guess I passed out again.”   Exhausted and numb, Joe sank back against the back of the chair as he finished his story.

Neither Ben nor Roy spoke right away, both men being horrified over all the ways that the boy there in the blue chair had been harmed.

“I’m sorry to have put you through all of that, Joe,” Roy said quietly and stared over at Ben.  “Both of you that is.  I’ll do what I can to find that man, and I’ve already sent out some telegrams inquiring if anyone has been picked up with the description you gave me, Little Joe.  Maybe we’ll get a break in the case soon?”

“Thank you, Roy,” Ben nodded over to the lawman.

“I best be going, Ben – Joe.  I’ll be in touch.”

Ben walked the sheriff to the door and watched as he mounted his horse and rode out of the yard.  He turned back to stare over at his youngest.  Joe was sitting there with his face in his hands and Ben was unsure if he was crying or just resting after the long ordeal.

He walked across the room and called down to Joe as he hovered over the chair, “Are you okay, Son?”

“I’ll never be okay, Pa,” Joe answered shaking his head back and forth.  “I’m sorry – but I had to tell Roy all of it – I never wanted to hurt you.”

Ben set a hand onto his son’s neck and replied, “It’s alright, Boy, I know you didn’t.”

“She messed up all our lives, Pa,” Joe indicated his mother.

“No, Joseph – she didn’t.  If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have you,” He whispered.

“Maybe life would’ve been better for you if I had never been —,” Little Joe stopped in mid-sentence.  He didn’t want Pa to think he was going to try to do anything like the laudanum incident a few days prior.  “I think I’m gonna go lay down for a while, Pa,” he announced and stood from the chair.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright, Joseph?”

Avoiding his father’s eyes, he replied with irony in his voice, “sure, Pa, why wouldn’t I be?”  He then walked to the staircase with his shoulders slumped and his head bowed, indicating how he felt after reliving the awful ordeal.

Pa’s fearful gaze followed his son up each step that he took to his room.  *** Oh Joseph! *** He thought as he worried about his son’s mental state.

*************

“Pa?” Adam called as he came down the stairs late that night.  “You said you needed to talk to me in private?”

Ben turned from where he stood in front of the fireplace and returned, “Yes, Son, thank you for staying up.  Come on over here.”

Adam sat down in the blue chair as Pa retook his seat opposite him.  “Why’d you want to talk without Hoss or Joe around?”

“There’s something that’s been nagging at me ever since we brought Joseph home after he got hurt.  I think I’ve now figured out what it was.”

Adam questioned his father with his raised eyebrows.

“When I spoke to Roy today, he asked if I had been keeping anything from him concerning Marie.  I hadn’t been – but now that I’ve thought on it maybe there is something.”

“Go on, Pa.”

“Do you remember my mentioning a man named Simon La Roche?”

“Yes, Sir, he was the man who had been blackmailing Marie – right?  You killed him in a fair fight and were acquitted on all charges.  What about him?”

“Marie had been sent a list of men that she had known by LaRoche and that’s when she began to pay him to keep quiet about her past.  Of course, I found out about it a short while later and after he was killed it was never brought up again.  But I told her to keep that list just in case there was ever another investigation into the charges which had been trumped up against me over the LaRoche killing.”

“What about it, Pa?”

“It was a list of men from her past – and – well I was wondering if it might lead us to the name of the lunatic who cut Joseph.  It’s worth a try.”

“But – do you know where it is?  It’s been an awfully long time since then, Pa.”

Ben shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.  “I haven’t a clue – but there are several old trunks in the storage room.  Maybe it’s somewhere inside one of them?”

“Okay, but even if you happen to find it how are you going to figure out which man it was?”

“Well, I imagine by the process of elimination.  I know one name we can take off the list.”

“Who?”

“Rene Marchant,” Ben nodded with a frown on his face.

“Yeah, he’s gone permanently.  So, when do you want to start looking, Pa?”

“I already asked Hoss earlier today to get a hold of Mitch and he did.  He’s going to stop by tomorrow and try to get Joe out of the house for a bit.  That’ll give us the chance to search this place for the list.  I’ll fill Hoss in on what we’re doing – but I want Joe to be left out of all this for now.  That boy is just barely hanging on right now by a thin thread.  I don’t want him knowing anything about his mother’s past.”

“Well, I can understand that Pa.  Joe’s not very happy with his Ma right now and I sure hope somehow you can get him to change his opinion of her.  But how are you going to get Little Joe to leave?  I mean it’s all we can do to get him to go into the barn – he’s not going to want to go off with Mitch.”

Ben nodded his head and smiled, “I think Mitch will have a better chance of getting through to your little brother than any of us.  We don’t need him to be gone too long— just long enough for the three of us to get through those old trunks.”

Adam stood from the chair and stretched.  “Okay, Pa – why don’t we both get some sleep.  Tomorrow might prove to be the break we’ve been hoping for.”

Ben smiled and joined his son heading to the staircase.  He draped an arm around his eldest’s shoulder as the two men walked up to their rooms.

*************

Little Joe was not amused to hear that his friend Mitch was waiting in the living room early the next morning and he had argued with his father over even walking down the stairs to see him.  But as was typical, Pa had won out and once he’d secured the bandage to his right cheek, Joe met Mitch there in front of the fireplace.

“Mitch,” Joe nodded to his friend keeping his face bowed towards the floor.

“Little Joe, good to see you.  I’ve missed spending time with my old pal!” Mitch sang out and approached him.

“Good to see me?  Really, Mitch?  Do you need to have your eyes checked?” Joe finally looked at his friend and indicated the large bandage he sported.

“Oh, c’mon, Joe – you think I care that you have a cut?  I don’t so get that out of your head.  Now my pa gave me the day off so let’s go take advantage of it, huh?  I brought the fishing poles.”

Joe watched as his father approached him as he came in from the dining room.  “I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Pa announced smiling over at Mitch.  “Joseph could use a little time away from here.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Joe signaled his father over to his study.  “I’ll be back in just a minute, Mitch,” He called over his shoulder as he grabbed his father’s elbow and walked with him to the desk.

“Joseph – go on – get some air.  Doc said it’d be good for you to get out a little.”

“Pa,” Joe whispered as he bent down to where his father had taken a seat at the desk.  “This thing might come off.  I’m not gonna have anyone –and I mean anyone see what my face looks like!”

“Here,” Ben replied and opened his desk drawer.  He withdrew a small brown package and handed it to his son.  “There’s a few bandages I’ve already cut and the collodion that you can spread onto them, so they’ll stay put.”

“You set this whole thing up, didn’t you?” Joe asked suspiciously staring into his father’s eyes.

Ben shook his head and replied, “Joseph, I just bought the extra bandages and collodion in case we had to go someplace in a hurry.  I realize you’re worried about that bandage staying on so I thought it would make you rest easier to have some extra handy.  Now just put that inside your saddlebags and go fishing.”

“I don’t want to ride either,” Joe protested, though he kept his voice low so his friend wouldn’t hear the exchange.

“Mitch!” Ben sang out and waved the other young man over to his desk.

“Yes, Sir?” he asked moving across the room quickly until he’d gotten over to the desk and stood there next to his best friend.

“Isn’t there a nice place to fish not far from here?  Joe hasn’t been out since he got hurt – and I don’t want to tire him out.”

Joe shook his head angered that his father was setting everything up so he wouldn’t be able to get out of going off with his friend.

“Yeah – there’s a nice little pond that has lots of fish in it not more than a mile from here.  We’ll just be gone for a couple of hours.  Okay?”

“That’ll be fine, Mitch,” Ben nodded and smiled over at the two young men.  “Now you both go and have fun.”

“Thanks,” Little Joe frowned at his pa knowing that all his excuses had fallen on deaf ears.

“I’ll see you later this afternoon, Joseph,” Ben grinned slyly as his son turned toward the front door along with Mitch.  “Oh, Joe – don’t forget to wear that nice new jacket of yours!”

Joe spun around and witnessed the well-placed amusement there on his father’s face.  “Yeah – I will,” He remarked shaking his head upset that his father had pulled a fast one over on him and there wasn’t a thing that he could do about it.  Joe walked to the hatrack where he noticed his new green corduroy jacket was hanging.  Pulling it down Joe shrugged into it and realized that his father had moved over to the grandfather clock and stood there grinning triumphantly over at him as he opened the front door.

“Green is definitely your color, Joseph!” Ben called across the room right before Joe moved out onto the front porch.  Pa was certain that he had heard the boy’s groan.  It had been the first time in almost two weeks that he had felt both hopeful and amused.

************

While Little Joe and Mitch set their fishing poles down into the tall grass that surrounded the fishing hole, Ben and his other sons were busy going through all the steamer trunks that were in the storage room.  It was slow going as there were numerous odds and ends, letters and various pieces of paper scattered throughout each trunk.  One by one each man sorted through every item hoping to lay their hands on the piece of paper that Marie Cartwright had received by the blackmailer Simon LaRoche.

“Hey Pa – I think I’ve got something!” Hoss sounded out and turned towards his father, handing him the single sheet of paper.  “It’s got the names of seven men on it.  Is this it?”

Ben set down the stack of old mail he had been searching through and studied what his middle boy had found.  “Yes – good job, Son.  This is it.”

Adam placed the stacks of papers he had been going through back inside of the trunk and turned toward his father and brother.

“Let’s put all of this away and then take this sheet of paper into my study and go over all the names on it,” Ben announced and folded the paper, placing it into the pocket of his vest.

**************

“You’re sure quiet, Old Buddy,” Mitch said and nudged his friend’s elbow.  Joe had been sitting there next to him for a long while without saying a word.

“Sorry,” Joe apologized and pulled his fishing line out of the water and set the pole down on the grass.  “I guess my mind has been a bit preoccupied here lately.”

“Little Joe – I ain’t going to lie to you – we talk straight with each other, right?”

Joe nodded, “Yeah – always have.”

“Your face – it’s pretty bad, huh?”

“You don’t want to know, Mitch,” Joe insisted with an intense sadness in his eyes as he stared at his friend.

“Little Joe – if I could get my hands on the man who did that to you, I swear I’d kill him for hurting you like he did.”

“Thanks,” Joe whispered.  “Hey, can we change the subject?”

“Sure, Joe.” Mitch nodded and set his fishing pole down on the grass next to his friend’s.

“What’s going on in town?  I guess everyone’s looking forward to that church social next weekend, huh?  You and Amy going?”
Mitch dropped his head down to his chest and avoided Joe’s eyes.  He suddenly had become very quiet.

Noticing the abrupt change to his friend’s demeanor, Joe asked, “Mitch? You and Amy didn’t break up, did you?”

“Naw — nothing like that,” He shook his head.

“Spit it out, Mitch— we grew up together I know when you’re trying hard not to tell me something.  So just tell me already!”

“Joe – it’s hard to tell you this – I mean you’re my best friend –,” Mitch trailed off.

“If I’m really your best friend then you can tell me anything.”

“Little Joe— I know you told me at the barn dance that Linda agreed to let you take her to the social.  Did you ever hear back from her after that night?”

Joe carefully studied his friend’s face, and he came to the realization that Mitch didn’t want to tell him some kind of bad news.  He drew in a deep breath and summoned the courage to hear what his friend had to say.  “No – I saw her at the hotel right after I got cut – but haven’t heard from her since then.  Now tell me — no matter what it is!”

Mitch reached inside his jacket and removed a small plain envelope and handed it to his friend.  I got this the other day from Linda — she thought that I’d be seeing you and asked if I would deliver it for her.”

Joe took the letter and opened it.  Reading the brief note inside he frowned and shook his head.  *** I should’ve seen this coming!  I guess the word has gotten around about my face. *** He thought to himself.  Joe wished that he had waited until he had been alone to read it, but he didn’t want to make it appear to Mitch as though he was bothered by anything that the girl had to tell him.

“How’d you know it was bad news, Mitch?  I know you didn’t open this letter because that’s not like you.”

“What’s it say, Joe?”

“Linda says she’s got to break our date because she’s going to be away next weekend.”

Mitch frowned and shook his head angrily.  “You’re better off not seeing her anyway, Little Joe.”

Joe touched his friend’s arm and persisted with his questions.  “Okay tell me the rest.”

Sighing, Mitch put his hand on Joe’s shoulder to try and brace the news that he had for him.  “Well – Joe – the other day Amy overheard a conversation between Linda and that troublemaker Anne Cowart.  You remember her from school, don’t you?”

Nodding, Joe answered, “Yeah, she loved stirring everyone up.  What did Amy hear?”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Joe,” Mitch reconsidered what he had brought up about the girl who Joe had wanted to date before his injury.

“Be a friend,” Joe said, a hint of sadness in his tone of voice.  He had already guessed it had to be something about the way he now looked.  In his earlier talk with Pa, he had already addressed the fact that everyone used to think of him as the handsome member of the Cartwright family but now he was no longer that same young man due to the hideous scar on his face.

“Linda is going to the church social with Jeff Braxton.  She said she wasn’t going to be seen with anyone wearing a bandage on their face.  Then stupid Anne Cowart said that half of your face was cut up and that you’d never be much to look at ever again.”

Joe sent out an ironic sounding spate of laughter which surprised and confused his friend.

“Oh, come on, Mitch!  It’s funny when you think of it, huh?  I mean that Anne Cowart — she never had a date in her life and she’s talking about how ugly I am.  And then there’s Linda – well – it’s no great loss.  I don’t need any girl who lies like she does,” Joe pretended that he wasn’t hurt over what his friend had told him.

Mitch knew better.  He could read it in the way Joe’s lips had tightened until they had almost disappeared.  He could also see that his friend was suddenly sitting very stiffly.

“Yeah – there’ll be other girls who won’t two-time you and lie to you, Joe.”

His wound suddenly beginning to throb, Joe pressed the bandage down on his cheek and whispered, “Hey – Mitch – I guess I’m getting tired.  You know I just started to get around the other day, and I haven’t quite gotten my sea-legs yet.  Would you mind if we just packed up and headed back?”

Mitch patted his friend’s arm and nodded, “Yeah, sure – let’s get you home so you can rest up until you’re back to feeling like yourself again.”

Joe closed his eyes and wondered if Mitch knew what he had just said.  He would never feel like himself again, because he wasn’t the same person who had gone to the barn dance two weeks ago.  Joe felt like another person altogether now, only a shadow of the old Joe Cartwright at best.

The two friends collected their fishing poles and made their way back to the horses.

“Mitch, thanks,” Joe nodded to his friend as he carefully pulled himself up in the saddle.  *** Can’t vault up on to Cochise anymore for fear of this stinking bandage flying off. *** Joe thought frowning.

“Sure, Little Joe – we’ll do it again soon, okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” He nodded and turned back for home.  All Joe wanted was to be by himself and mourn over what he had lost due to the man with the stiletto.

**************

Ben read the list of seven names to his two sons for the third time.  He shook his head and frowned.

“Well, I can cross Rene Marchant off this list – along with Charles Benet, since I heard he’d been killed not long after Marie showed me this years ago.  That leaves us five now.  One of these men may very well be the lunatic who cut your little brother.”

“Pa – hand it here for just a minute, will you?” Adam asked, reaching his hand out.

Ben, sitting in his chair at his desk nodded up to his eldest and handed him the piece of paper.

Adam studied the five names, his face taking on a quizzical appearance.  “What was the name of that man that Bill Gentry said stayed at the International House and had a French accent?”

“He apparently registered as Frank Brown,” Ben returned.  “Why?”

Adam moved past Hoss and came around behind his father’s chair and set the paper in front of Ben.  “Look – there’s only one name on here with those initials.  This one—Francois Balantaire – and if I remember correctly Francois means Frank, right?  So maybe he’s using Frank Brown as an alias – and he’s really Francois Balantaire?”

Ben stared at the name and pursed his lips, his face taking on a severe expression.  He nodded and looked over at Hoss and then Adam.  “You just might have something there, Son.  I think it’s time I wrote a telegram to Judge Wharton in New Orleans to see if he can help us.”

“Might not hurt to contact Avery Bastille too, Pa,” Hoss suggested.  “He sure helped us back when Joe was taken by Marchant.  And he is a detective plus he’s right there in New Orleans so he could check into that man’s past.”

“Good idea – I’ll write to both and see what, if anything, they can come up with.  Now – we need to keep all of this from Joe –,” Ben paused when he heard the front door open.

Hoss turned and peered towards the front door.  He nodded to his father, letting him know that it was Little Joe.  Ben placed the list inside his desk drawer and cast a subtle glance over at his two older boys.  They both nodded that they understood not to say anything to Joe about the list of names that they had found.

“Hey, Little Brother!” Hoss called over to Joe as he stood by the credenza removing his jacket.  “Did you and Mitch have a good time fishing?”

Joe pressed his right hand to his cheek, making sure that his bandage was still secure.  Drawing in a deep breath he hoped that he could make it up to his room before anyone else would see him or ask any further questions.

“Yeah,” he said and advanced quickly to the stairs, attempting a fast getaway before he had to field more questions from Hoss.

“Joseph?” Ben asked, standing from his desk and wondering why his son wasn’t saying a word to anyone else in the room.  “Are you alright?”

Joe stopped at the first step; his eyes trained on the floor.  “Just tired – gonna go lay down.”

Ben’s concerned gaze tracked up the staircase as Joe disappeared back up to his room. He turned around and looked at both Adam and Hoss.

“I wonder what happened?  He sure left in a hurry.”

“I don’t know, Pa — he didn’t look very happy.  I was hoping that him going out with Mitch would help him some,” Hoss returned with worry etched on his face.

“Maybe one of us better go ask Mitch – because the kid isn’t going to tell us anything as usual,” Adam added, also concerned for his youngest brother.

Before Ben could offer his opinion, Hoss had already moved to the credenza and buckled his holster.  “I’ll go and talk to Mitch, Pa.  I won’t be long,” Hoss nodded over to his father and donned his hat.

Ben stood there shaking his head still attempting to figure out what had gone on with Mitch.  “I hope his bandage didn’t fall off while he was out fishing.”

Adam reached over and put his hand on his father’s shoulder and replied, “Hoss will find out, don’t worry.  C’mon let’s go get some coffee, Pa.”

“Alright,” He sighed.  “Then I’ll compose those two telegrams, and we’ll send them off tomorrow.”

Ben slung his arm across his son’s shoulder and the two men walked into the kitchen for some badly needed coffee.

**************

Hoss sat at the dining table later that evening along with his father and older brother.  He explained everything that Mitch had told him about what had happened and how upset Joe appeared to be after hearing about Linda Dow and what she had done.

Ben shook his head and groaned.  “I wish Mitch had held back and hadn’t told Joseph about what Amy overheard that girl say about him.  That’s the very last thing the boy needed to hear right now.”

“Well, Pa, you know how Joe is – he tends to put people on the spot.  Remember how he forced Hoss to tell him what he thought about how his scar looked the other night?  He probably guilted Mitch into telling him all about what happened.  And Joe probably guessed that something was up after Mitch gave the kid the note from her too,” Adam offered his opinion.

“Little Joe no eat?” Hop Sing asked as he came into the dining room.  He had been waiting to bring out the boy’s meal, but he had failed to show.

Ben turned and stared over at the cook.  “I tried to get him to come down, Hop Sing – but he refused.  He said he wasn’t hungry and I couldn’t talk him into joining us though I gave it my best try at coaxing him down here.”

Hop Sing frowned and turned back into the kitchen coming right back with a cup of broth in his hand.  “I go – Little Joe must have food –even broth – doctor say.”

“Don’t be upset if you can’t get him to drink that,” Ben warned.

“He drink,” Hop Sing insisted and headed for the stairs.

**************

Little Joe was spread out on top of his comforter and staring blankly at his ceiling when he heard the knock on his bedroom door.  He frowned, assuming Pa had probably sent up one of his brothers to try and talk him into going downstairs.

“What?” Joe called across the room.

“Hop Sing come in?”

“I’m okay—I’m not hungry, Hop Sing.”

“Hop Sing come in?” He called again unwilling to leave.

Joe shook his head and frowned.  He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but he knew that Hop Sing wasn’t going to leave until he saw him.

“Come in, Hop Sing,” He sang out and swung his legs over to the side of the bed.

Hop Sing walked inside of the room and over to where the boy sat.  He set the cup and saucer onto Joe’s nightstand.

“Little Joe need drink this.”

“I’m not thirsty.”

Hop Sing grabbed the cup and pushed it towards Joe.  “No care if thirsty—must drink.’

Little Joe stared at the intensity on the other man’s face and knew that Hop Sing wasn’t about to leave unless he witnessed him polishing off the broth.  He frowned but drank the entire contents and then handed the cup back to the cook.

“Vely good,” Hop Sing announced smiling.  “Now – why Little Joe not come down with family?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I don’t know – it’s just been a bad night I guess.”

“No night so long that you can’t find the day, Little Joe.  Trouble come trouble go but family stay.  You need remember.”

Little Joe raised his right hand and firmly pressed the bandage onto his cheek, making sure that it wouldn’t come loose.  “Some troubles nobody can help with.  I just didn’t feel like talking about it – I’ve already made everyone upset because of this wound.  No use talking about it anymore.”

Hop Sing tried to think of something that might help his young friend.  He turned his attention to the birdcage and remarked, “Little bird eat some seed Hop Sing check on it when you gone, Little Joe.  That good thing, right?”

Joe stared at the sparrow and replied, “It’s probably going to die anyhow.  And if it does live it’s gonna be scarred – just like me.”

Hop Sing tenderly placed his hand onto Joe’s bandaged face and said, “Some time healing start inside, Little Joe – then go outside.  You give time – little bird know— it just taking time to heal.  Little Joe learn from bird – take time to heal.”

Joe dropped his head down to his chest and fought back the pain he carried inside of his heart due to the awful things he had heard from Mitch that day and how it had hurt him so deeply.  He was having such a terrible time dealing with his injury, his nightmares and the anger he carried towards his mother now and there was no relief in sight.

Hop Sing felt so sad for the boy and all that he was dealing with, but he was at a loss as to what he could do to help him.  He hoped that his uncle would get his letter and that he would soon hear back from him.  But that would all take time and Joe needed something to help him right now.

“Heal inside, Little Joe,” He whispered.  “Then outside maybe so heal – you see.”

“Good night, Hop Sing,” Joe answered sullenly and eased back on his bed.

“Hop Sing have breakfast for you – you come down in morning, alight?”

“Sure,” Joe nodded towards the man as he walked to the door.

*** No night so long that you can’t find the day. *** Hop Sing thought to himself as he stared at the young man who he had helped to raise.  His heart hurt due to the pain he read all over Joe’s face.  He muttered a few prayers in Chinese and then quietly walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

***************

Ben had debated all evening as to whether he should go up to his son’s room and try to speak with him about what had happened earlier that day.  Hop Sing had given his own report after coming down the stairs and he wasn’t very optimistic about how Little Joe was dealing with his problems at the time.  Though Pa didn’t want to hover, he did want to help his son through whatever he was feeling at the time, especially after he had been dealt yet another blow to his ego due to the girl who he had planned on taking to the church social now canceling their date.

Once Adam and Hoss had gone on up to their rooms Ben sat for a long while just staring into the flames of the fireplace and contemplating his next move.  He wished that he had the right words that could ease Joseph’s pain, but he didn’t, nor could he come up with any sugar-coated allegory which would give his son hope.  The only thing that he could come up with at the present time was a plan to deal with the evil perpetrator once they had positively identified him.  Though he would personally love to kill the man who had scarred his son, Ben knew that it wouldn’t solve the boy’s problems.  Joe’s opinion of himself was deeply rooted in his appearance and Pa hadn’t gotten anywhere with his lecture about the source of true beauty.  He couldn’t blame his son as he had always been able to turn heads even when he was a child.  To Joseph, losing that ability was like losing part of himself and his father knew it all too well.

It had taken a great amount of willpower on Ben’s part, but he had walked past Little Joe’s bedroom without walking inside and going to check on him.  He hoped he’d have the chance to talk to the boy in the morning when perhaps the hurt caused by what Linda had said wouldn’t be quite as fresh as it had been when Mitch had told Joe about it earlier.  Having spent far too much time pondering the latest events downstairs, Ben walked into his bedroom and hoped that he would get some badly needed sleep.  It had been a very long two weeks and the problems involving Joseph weren’t any closer to getting resolved.

**************

It had begun like the first faint sounds of distant thunder long before a storm even appeared on the horizon.  Gradually it increased in volume and then the noise changed pitch, suddenly becoming high pierced.  Joe couldn’t see anything due to the darkness that surrounded him, but he knew that if he could get his eyelids to open, he’d be staring at something far worse than an impending storm.  He felt the hot breath on his face and his heart pounded so hard that he was certain that it would stop beating permanently.  The next feeling was of a cold clammy palm that slid from his jaw upwards to his cheek and then settled on top of his head.

*** Much like hers – though perhaps a bit darker.  You have your mother’s smooth skin—and her charm – the kind that she had to lure men into her bed. ***

“What do you want?” Joe cried out, struggling to get the man’s hand off his face.

*** I’ve come to save you! ***

“Save me from what – you?”

In response, Joe watched as the sharp thin blade of a strange-looking knife slithered out of the man’s right boot.

“No – please don’t!” Joe pleaded while staring into the stranger’s face and witnessing the glee and satisfaction that he wore.

*** I will save you by giving you this gift from Marie.  As beautiful as she was, I would never have allowed her into my bed if she had the kind of scar that I will leave you!  Now you will no longer have to worry about which girl to dance with – because none will want you after tonight. ***

“NO!” Joe screamed so loudly that he woke himself up.  Struggling to catch his breath, he pulled himself off the bed, falling down into the chair next to it.  Joe dropped his face down into his hands and hyperventilated.  He was sure that he was going to pass out from fright.

Lamp in hand, Ben hurried into his son’s bedroom just a few minutes after hearing the boy’s shout.  Joseph was there in the chair with his head held in his trembling hands.

“Joseph?” He whispered as he drew closer.  “Joseph – are you –,” He stopped before asking the same question he had so many times after his son had a nightmare.  It was too ludicrous to say it anymore.  Why would he bother to ask if the boy was okay when it was written all over him that he was terrified?  Instead, Ben sat down on the bed opposite his son dropping a hand down onto his shoulder trying to steady him.  “Just breathe, Son, breathe.”

Joe reached for his water glass and tried to get down a few sips before speaking.  His hand shook so much that half of the water spilled down his nightshirt.

“Take it slow, Joseph,” Ben coaxed as he fought the desire to simply pull his son into his arms to shoulder his misery and vanquish the evil that just kept haunting his dreams.

Little Joe sat the glass back on the table and dropped his head down to his chest feeling embarrassed about having caused his father to awaken due to another one of his nightmares.  “Sorry, Pa,” He whispered sadly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Joseph.  Now – tell me.”

Shaking his head helplessly he replied, “What good will that do?  We both know what it was about.”

“The knife again?”

Joe nodded and then realized his bandage was gone.  He stood and moved back to his bed to frantically search for it.

“Here,” Ben offered quietly as he handed it to his son.

Placing it on his face, Joe realized that he was sweating so profusely that the cotton material would no longer adhere to his face.  He groaned and turned back to the nightstand and drew the wick to his lamp higher.  His father watched as Joe cut a new bandage and then dabbed the collodion onto the material.  Once it was saturated Joe began to lift it up to his face to cover his wound.  He stopped suddenly, staring at the cloth and no longer seeing a bandage in his hand, but a reminder of what life had dealt him.  Stark reality hit him square in the face when he realized that he’d have to hide under a disguise for the rest of his life.   He angrily slammed the bandage down onto the nightstand.

“I just can’t do this anymore!” Joe shouted and advanced across the room to his bureau.  He swept his left arm across the top, scattering everything down onto the floor.  Filled with increasing rage, Joe grabbed everything he could get his hands on, sending every one of them flying across the room.

Ben jumped up from his position on the bed and hurried over to his son.  He grabbed the boy’s left arm right before Joe was about to send a water pitcher crashing onto the floor.

“Let it go, Joseph – just let it go,” He pleaded with the boy, trying his best to calm the tempest that had finally taken over after two solid weeks of dealing with nonstop turmoil.

Little Joe strained against his father’s tight grip on his arm until Pa was forced to fold both of his son’s arms in front of him with a vice-like lock.

“Let me go!” Joe shouted as he continued to struggle trying to break free.  It seemed like the more that he fought to pull himself away from Pa’s hold the tighter it became.

“Settle down, Son—just settle down now,” Ben lowered his voice trying to instill calm into the boy and get him to give up on his attempts at freeing himself.

Eventually realizing that he’d never be able to match his father’s strength or release himself from his tight hold, Joe took a couple of quick breaths and closed his eyes.

“Pa – just let me go – let go,” He whispered as his arms went lax.

Ben slowly eased his hands off his son’s arms and stared at him hard, making sure that the boy had calmed down sufficiently.

“Come on over here, Joseph,” he coaxed and placed his arm across the boy’s shoulder, guiding him back to the bed.

The fight now out of him, Joe didn’t show any resistance as he walked with Pa over to the bed and sat down next to him.  A painful stillness hung over the room with neither of them being able to speak their minds due to the sudden outburst.

Finally, Ben broke the awkward silence, “You know, Joseph, in a couple of years you’ll be able to get out of that arm lock I’ve always used to calm you down.”

“What will you do then, Pa?” Joe attempted to play along though his heart wasn’t in it.  Still, he felt awful about what he had just done and didn’t know what else to say at the time.

Ben patted the boy’s shoulder and remarked drolly, “Oh I know a few other moves that I haven’t used on you before – guess they’ll do in a pinch.”

Joe dropped his head down into his hands again.  “Pa – I can’t do this anymore – I just can’t.”  Just the mere act of cutting a new bandage to place over the horrible looking scar had sent him into a downward spiral of both anger and desperation.

Ben was glad that his son couldn’t see his face at the time because tears were leaving his eyes.  His heart was breaking to have to watch the complete destruction of what had been such a vibrant and happy young man just a few weeks prior.  Now the boy was suffering both day and night and all due to someone’s evil and misguided need for vengeance.

There were no magic words, nothing that he could offer Joseph that would pull him from the throes of despair this time.  Ben simply reached for his son and pulled him into his arms and held on for dear life.  He was afraid that he would lose him to the many battles going on in his mind and just the thought of that terrified him.

“I know you are hurting – but you’re not alone, Joseph,” He whispered.

“I told you that people only see what you are on the outside, Pa—Linda said she didn’t want to be seen with someone who had their face messed up,” Joe choked out as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Then she’s not worth your tears, Son.  You don’t need anyone like that in your life.”

“I don’t care about her – but I do care about what everyone else is saying about me and the way I look.  I just feel like hiding up here in my room for the rest of my life.”

“You’ve got some healing to do – we don’t know what that scar is going to look like down the road, Joseph.  And you’re not going to give up on living because I won’t let you,” Pa replied with great resolve in his tone.

The room grew quiet again with neither father nor son speaking.   After a few minutes had passed, Joe confessed sadly, “It still hurts, Pa.”
“I know – Joseph — I know,” Ben nodded and held onto his son until his body went slack there in his arms.  He gently slid the boy underneath the covers and prayed that he would get some uninterrupted sleep.

*** Please help him, Lord. *** Ben prayed as he stared down at his son.

************

“Okay, Little Joe, let me have a look,” Doctor Martin said as he held the tongue depressor in his hand.

Joe obeyed and opened his mouth so Paul could check the cut that had been on the inside of his right cheek.  “Looks better,” he announced and turned and glanced over at Ben who stood flanking him.  “I’d say Joe can go back to a more regular diet.  Nothing too spicey or very tough to chew for another week.  I’ll let Hop Sing know what’s best for him right now.”

“That’s good to hear, right, Son?” Ben attempted to sound hopeful so Joe’s spirits would be a bit higher due to the news.

“Yeah,” He replied without much enthusiasm in his tone.  “What about this wound, Doc?”

Paul sighed and stared into his patient’s eyes before replying.  “Now, Joe – I told you that it will be months before we know just how it’s going to look in the long run.  Have you been taking off the bandage like I asked?”

Joe shook his head and frowned.  “If you had this face, you’d want to keep it covered too, Doc.”

Paul firmly placed his hand onto the boy’s shoulder and answered, “Not if I wanted it to heal.  Now I thought you were going to try to take it off at night?”

Joe cast a suspicious glance over at his father who he suspected was the person who had told the doctor what he had asked him to do a few days earlier about not wearing his bandage when he went to bed.

“I don’t want to scare anyone if I happen to get up in the middle of the night,” he replied, half sarcastically and half being totally earnest about it.

“Oh?” Paul asked, raising his eyebrows in gesture.  “Just who were you worried about running into anyway?  As far as I know you’re not running a hotel here, so you don’t have to worry about strangers in that hall out there.”

Joe frowned and dropped his head down.  He never could get the best of the doctor, so he gave up.

Doc patted Joe’s shoulder to let him know that he did understand him and why he still needed the bandage for his own piece of mind.  “Just take it off at night, Joe.  It isn’t going to hurt anything –and it just might help.  Besides if you set a bandage right next to the bed you can just put it on real quick like in a pinch.”

“Okay – I’ll try,” Joe conceded half-heartedly.

“Can Joseph have coffee now, Paul?”

“I don’t see why not—if it’s cooled down pretty good.  Just take things slow, Little Joe – and you’ll be able to tell better than I will what bothers your mouth and what doesn’t.”

“Hear that, Son?  Why don’t you come down with Paul and me, and we’ll all get some coffee?” Ben offered, hoping that he could get his son out of his room for a little while.  Joe hadn’t gone downstairs since the nightmare the previous night and it worried him.

“Maybe later.”

Paul watched the look which passed between both father and son and took note of it.  “Well, I’ve got real patients to tend to now.  You behave yourself, Little Joe— and if you have any trouble, you let me know, okay?”

“Thanks, Doc,” Joe nodded up to the man.

“Joseph?  You sure you won’t come down?” Ben tried one last time as he and Paul walked to the bedroom door.

“In a bit, Pa.”

“Let’s get that coffee, Ben,” Paul insisted, knowing that the anxious father had some things to get off his chest.

*************

Doctor Martin sipped his coffee and listened patiently as Ben went to great lengths to tell him everything that had recently happened concerning Joe.  He could tell that the man was worried about his son and how he was coping with the scar on his face.

“I think it would be wise to try using those sleeping powders for a few days to see if that will help the boy get some uninterrupted sleep, Ben.  I could see the exhaustion on Joe’s face – and I might add – on yours too.”

Sighing, Ben nodded over to the doctor.  “His nightmares have been keeping us both up.  I’m worried about him – and then when he heard about what had been said about him yesterday –well it really got to him.”

Paul stared intently into his friend’s eyes and asked, “Are you still afraid that Joe might try to do something to harm himself?”

Ben drew in a deep breath and shook his head, unsure of what to say.  “I don’t know, Paul – after that laudanum incident – I thought that I’d gotten through to him.  But I just don’t know how much more the boy can take.”

“Let’s not borrow trouble, Ben.  Go ahead and give Joe one of the packets I gave you.  Just stir it into a glass of water and have him drink it about an hour before he turns in for the night.  If he can just get some solid sleep, it should help him with some of the stress he’s been under.  Hopefully it will keep those nightmares at bay too.”

Ben stared down at the floor deep in thought, he was almost afraid to ask his next question.  He finally piped up, “What do you think about his scar, Paul?  Is it always going to look as bad as it does now?”

“Now you sound like that boy upstairs!” the doctor exclaimed as he sent over an understanding smile.  “You know I can’t make any kind of prognosis about how bad it’s going to be.  But I’ve told you already – there’s just no way that Little Joe isn’t going to always carry a scar of some sort – no getting around that due to how badly that man cut him.  Just how bad it’ll end up looking –well – we’ll just have to wait and see.”  Paul reached inside his vest and handed Ben a sheet of paper.  “Here’s a list of what I think Joe will be able to tolerate as far as solid food – you give it to Hop Sing for me.  I’ve got to be heading back into town,” He offered as he grabbed his medical bag and walked to the door.

“Thanks, Paul,” Ben returned as he walked along next to him.

“Ben – just keep those powders out of Joe’s hands— not that I think he’d do anything – but –” he trailed off.

“I will,” Ben nodded.

“I’ll see you soon.  You’re all going to the church social, right?”

Frowning, Ben replied, “If I hadn’t been on the fund-raising committee, I’d sit this one out – but Reverend Hastings won’t be happy if I don’t show up.  I know Adam and Hoss plan to go but Joseph—well that’s out of the question now– especially after hearing what that girl said about him.”

“Regardless It’d be good for you to get away from all of what you’ve been going through, Ben.  You can’t help Joe if you don’t get some time away from his troubles once and awhile – and it’s only a couple of hours.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Okay – I’ll see you Sunday – but if you need me before the church social just let me know,” Paul smiled and patted his friend’s arm.

“Thanks again, Paul,” Ben called as the doctor walked to his surrey.

************

Little Joe had decided that he would try to work on some chores hoping that the extra exercise might help wear him out enough, so he’d be able to sleep soundly at night.  However, two days after he had begun doing daily chores, he was still having broken sleep, so his father forced sleeping powders on him, which didn’t make Joe very happy.  But he didn’t wake up with any nightmares the first couple of nights that he had taken the medicine.

Busy working on cleaning the tack room which had needed it badly, Joe was oblivious to his brother’s comings and goings.  He had just figured that there might be a bit more errands lately which had forced Adam to head into Virginia City on a more regular basis.  Joe had been told that Hoss was busy helping the hired hands with the large herd so it wasn’t uncommon that the eldest Cartwright son would be handling contract negotiations or banking transactions there in town.  However, Joe had noticed that both of his brothers seemed to huddle at their father’s desk next to Pa almost nightly and when he’d passed by the study, it seemed suspicious that the three of them spoke in hushed tones.  It was only then that Joe’s curiosity was piqued, and he decided to find out what was going on that he assumed he wasn’t supposed to know about.

*************

“Avery really knows how to go after a lead, doesn’t he?” Hoss smiled as he sat next to Adam and stared over at his Pa.

Ben nodded and studied the newest information which had come earlier that evening from the telegraph office.  It had been four long days waiting for an answer to their request, but it had paid off.

“Well, the description fit Francois Balantaire and once Avery dug into him a little deeper, he was able to find a lot of information concerning the time he’d spent in jail and later prison,” Ben returned.

“Cutting up a prostitute with a stiletto — that sure sounds like our man!” Adam exclaimed.  “And Judge Wharton confirmed it all too, Pa.”

Frowning as he scanned all the telegrams, they had received Ben addressed what the next step would be.  “No one knows where he headed once he served the eight years for that attack.  If he’d killed someone —” He trailed off when he noticed Little Joe coming down the stairs.  Ben quickly shoved all the papers inside the desk’s top drawer and changed the subject.  “So, Boys, if you both will go check on the timber crews tomorrow, I’d appreciate it.”

“Sure, Pa,” Hoss returned as he watched his little brother heading over to the study.  “I thought you’d turned in already, Joe?”

Casting a suspicious glance around the desk at his family he replied, “Naw – those powders haven’t hit yet.  I just thought I’d come down and grab a book to read until I get sleepy.”

Ben stood and approached his youngest trying his best not to show the anxiousness that he was feeling at that moment.  He wanted to come up with a plan on how to capture Francois but would have to take all the information into town and explain it all to the sheriff first.

“I just got the newest Dicken’s novel, Joseph – would you like to read it?”

“Sure,” Joe nodded casting a quick glance over at Hoss and Adam.  It was very evident that they were trying to look nonchalant to cover what they’d all been up to that night.

Ben walked to the coffee table and grabbed the book, bringing it over to Little Joe.  “Here you are – why don’t you go on up to bed and see how far you get with this before that sleeping powder kicks in?”

“Okay – well – goodnight again,” Joe called over to his brothers and turned for the stairs.

As soon as Joe disappeared back up to his room Adam looked over at his father and said, “That was close.  Maybe we’d better make sure that the kid is asleep next time?”

Ben retook his chair at the desk and nodded.  “I thought the boy was down for the count – guess I didn’t look as closely as I should have.  Now – back to this.  If Balantaire is our man – and it sure sounds like he is – then I’ve got to go into town and tell Roy about all the information we’ve received.  I’ll go tomorrow afternoon.  And like I told you both before – I want everyone to be cognizant of your surroundings in case that man happens to be laying low and might be somewhere just watching us.”

Hoss’ face took on a worried appearance and he finally replied, “Pa – don’t you think you’d better say something to Little Joe?  I mean he’s the one that this man went after.”

“I’ve already let him know that he’s not to leave the yard quite yet.  I told him that Doctor Martin doesn’t want him to overdo it for a while.  And with the way he’s tried to avoid everyone I doubt he’d go off anywhere.  It was all I could do to get him to leave with Mitch last week and they only went about a mile from here.  I just don’t want to worry the boy about all this just yet.  He’s had a couple of nights without a nightmare but if he hears what we’ve learned from Avery, it might start them up again.”

“Agreed,” Adam nodded.

“Okay, Pa – if you’re sure Joe won’t run off,” Hoss replied.

“Yes.  Now I’ll let you two know what Roy has to say after I go see him.  Well, let’s all get some rest.”

The three Cartwrights doused the lights in the living room after Ben stoked the fireplace one final time and then they turned in for the evening.  None of them had noticed that Joe was hiding off to the side there at the top of the staircase listening to everything that they had said before heading up to their rooms.

**************

Ben hadn’t slept very soundly due to everything that was weighing on his mind that night.  When he rolled over onto his right side, trying to fall back to sleep for the second time, he thought he heard footsteps out in the hall.  Deciding to check to see if one of his sons wasn’t feeling well, he donned his robe and slippers and eased out into the hall.  He peered in on Hoss first and found him sound asleep in his bed and likewise was Adam in the room next door.  That left Joseph.  Ben slowly pulled the bedroom door open and could see that the bed was empty.  Wondering how Joe could have awakened so soon after he had taken the medicine to help him sleep, he headed back out into the hallway and proceeded to the stairs.  Noticing that the lamp on his desk had been lit and that his youngest was standing next to it holding a sheet of paper, Ben was momentarily rendered speechless.

“Joseph!” He called over to the boy as he made it down into the living room and hurried over to the study.  “What are you doing going through my desk?” He asked sharply.

“I didn’t know that you were hiding things from me, Pa,” Joe countered as he squared off with his father.

Briefly closing his eyes Ben tried to let his worry subside and come up with a believable explanation to offer his son.  “I’m not hiding anything, Joseph.  Now what were you looking for – is there something that you need?”

“Yeah, Pa – I need truth that’s what I need,” He countered waving the piece of paper out in front of him.

“I haven’t a clue as to what you’re talking about,” Ben insisted.

Joe shook his head angrily and returned, “I found this piece of paper – it’s a list – a list with the names of seven men on it.  Two have been crossed out – one being Rene Marchant.  It’s not too hard to figure it out from there.  These are all men who’ve been with my mother, right?”

Ben shook his head and answered, “I’m not going to discuss this with you right now, Young Man.  You need to go to bed.”

“Seriously, Pa?  Why?  Because it’s none of my business?  You know that it is – if one of these men just happened to cut up my face!”

“Lower your voice,” Ben warned sternly.

Little Joe wasn’t going to stop trying to get answers from his father.  “Which man – which man was it?” He persisted though fear was easily read in his eyes.

“Joseph – it’s not the time to go into any of this right now.”

“Where did this list come from, Pa?  Tell me.”

Ben wasn’t going to offer any kind of explanation to the boy; he couldn’t, especially not after Joe had been consumed with hatred towards his mother ever since he had been cut.

Joe stared into his father’s eyes and could tell that he was stalling for time.  He knew that Pa didn’t want to spell it out, but he had already picked up on the implications of the list.

“Why are you trying so hard not to tell me what this is all about?  You sure as heck have told Hoss and Adam!  I’ve heard you three talking in whispers – why is it that they know but I don’t?”

Ben attempted to calm his son.  He settled a hand onto the boy’s shoulder and said, “We can talk about it tomorrow – you need to get to bed, Joseph.”

Little Joe shook his head and grew more frustrated to hear Pa placating him.  “I get it — this is a list of some of the men that my mother “entertained” isn’t it?”

“Stop it, Joseph,” Ben warned.

“Then tell me what it is or else I’m right and you don’t want me to know.  Don’t worry, Pa – I already know all about my mother!  The man who carved my face told me all about the kind of woman that she was.”

“That’s enough!” Ben shouted and gripped the boy’s shoulders tightly.

Joe dropped his head down and whispered, “Is it, Pa?  Look at my face – tell me that she’s not the cause of me carrying this awful scar.”

Ben let go of his son and feeling defeated, slowly walked around to his chair sinking down into it.  He couldn’t stay angry with his son.   The boy had gone through pure hell, and it wasn’t hard to see how it had affected him.

Forcing a softer tone to his voice he called to his son, “Joseph, sit down please.”

Walking to the other side of his father’s desk, Joe took a seat and stared over at him.

“I was going to tell you all about this – it just wasn’t the time yet.  You’ve gone through the unimaginable, Joseph – and I know how badly you hurt,” Ben tried to explain as he reached for the list there in his son’s hand.  Joe relinquished it to his pa.  “This is a list that your mother had been given by a man named Simon LaRoche – I told you about him awhile back.  He had blackmailed her until I found out and then we fought and I killed him.  Do you remember that?”

“Yes, Sir, I remember you told us all about it.”

“I wanted to try to find out who attacked you – that’s when I remembered that we kept that list.  Your brothers and I found it last week – and we sent some wires to Avery Bastille and Judge Wharton.  We got back confirmation about a man named Francois Balantaire – we believe he is the man who cut you.”

Little Joe drew in a deep breath and tried his best to will away his fear just thinking about the man who wielded the stiletto.  “What now?”

“I’m going to talk to Roy later today – and let him know what we’ve found out so far.  The man did jail time for cutting a woman in New Orleans – and he served his time and then disappeared.  Avery said he fit the description of the man you said hurt you.”

“He cut someone else, Pa?  Did he use that same kind of a knife?”  Joe questioned his voice trembling from the vision of the sharp blade which had impaled his cheek and worked its way down to his jaw.

“Yes, Joseph,” Ben returned and watched his son dropping his head down to his chest.  “This is why I didn’t want to tell you – it’s not what you need to hear right now.”

Joe wanted to ask more questions, but they were stuck inside his throat at the time.  He couldn’t get his mind off what had happened to him at the hands of his assailant.   The all too vivid memories of that night were always just below the surface no matter how hard he tried to forget them.   He could see Pa staring at him trying to gauge how he was handling the information that he’d just received.  Joe tried to play it off like he was just fine as he sat there rigidly in the chair. He knew Pa had read right through him.

Ben stood and approached his son, dropping a hand down onto the boy’s shoulder.  “I know you haven’t been going anywhere — since you got hurt – and maybe that’s a good thing.  We don’t know if he’s left the area or not.  So, I want you to continue to stick close to home, Joseph.”

Little Joe raised his head and stared into Ben’s eyes and said, “Where would I go?  Look at my face, Pa.  I don’t want anyone to see me.  That’s what he did to me – and that’s what my mother did to me too.  Even if you catch him there’s still a list of men – who knows what any one of them will plan to do to me in the future?  This is what she’s left me with – never knowing if I’ll ever be safe – and never being able to look at myself in the mirror again.”

Joe stood and turned for the stairs, but his father prevented his departure.  He grabbed the boy’s arm and held on.

“Joseph— none of this was your mother’s fault.  And there’s no reason to believe anyone else will come after you.”

“I can’t talk to you about her, Pa — not with the way you still love her.  I want to go to my room.”

“Joseph—just listen to me –” Ben pleaded but his son broke his hold and headed for the stairs.

“No, Pa,” Joe called over his shoulder as he walked up to his room.  His father stood there distraught over the way that his son refused to listen to anything that he had to say concerning Marie.  Ben wanted to smooth it all over with the boy so he wouldn’t blame her for her past or for the men who had come after him; not Rene Marchant and not Francois Balantaire.   *** Oh, Joseph – if you’d only listen with your heart. *** He thought after witnessing the sadness on his boy’s face along with the fear that wouldn’t let go of him due to Francois, the man who had so mercilessly cut him and left him scarred physically and emotionally.

**************

The next morning the strange sound off to the right side of his bed awakened Little Joe.  He hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours after speaking with his father.  Joe rolled towards the sound and slowly opened his eyes.  The sparrow was fluttering its wings and chirping loudly.  Drawing himself up in the bed Joe flung his legs off to the side and stared at the cage.

“I guess you’re still alive,” Joe muttered and then stood to get a better look.  He tapped gently on the bars of the cage and called into the bird, “You ate some of those seeds I see.  Maybe I’ll take you outside for a little while today to see how you do?  Don’t worry – I’ll keep you in the cage just in case that stupid cat’s still out there.”  Bending down to get a better look at the sparrow, Joe stared over to where the bird had been bitten.  “You don’t look quite as bad as you did – wish I could say the same for me.  Okay – let me get dressed and we’ll both go and get some air.”

Little Joe cut a new bandage and secured it over his scar.  He pressed it firmly over the wound and then got dressed for the day.

Everyone was already seated at the dining table as Joe made it down the stairs, birdcage in hand.

“Come and get it,” Hoss sang out to his little brother.

“Naw— not hungry — gonna go do some work,” Joe answered and walked to the front door.  He pulled on his jacket, grabbed the birdcage, and hurried outside.

Ben frowned and shook his head, frustrated.  “I told you that this would happen if Joseph found out about the information we received concerning Balantaire.”

“Don’t worry, Pa – just let Joe work it out in his head,” Adam tried to ease his father’s mind.

“When are you leaving to go and talk to Roy?” Hoss tried to change the subject.

“Just as soon as I finish eating.  I’ll have to tell him everything or he’ll get as mad as a wet hen that I’ve kept things from him.  Well – you know Roy!”

“Once Avery learns more it’ll help.  He said in that last wire that he’s gonna keep digging.”

“I just want to know where that detestable man is,” Ben growled just thinking about what he had done to Joe.  “I hope he left the area – but if he didn’t, we have to keep our eyes out.”

“It’ll be okay, Pa – don’t worry,” Adam tried to sound sure of himself though he really wasn’t at the time.  Francois Balantaire could be anywhere.

“One of you stick close to home, will you?  Joe’s just going to be working outside here—but I’m not taking any chances.”

“Hoss has to join up with Fletcher and his crew, but I can stay and work on those contracts for you, Pa.”

“Thank you, Adam, it’d make me feel a whole lot better,” Ben nodded over to his eldest and finished his coffee.  “I’d better go and get ready.  I’ll let all of you know what Roy says when I get home later.”

Hop Sing walked into the dining room with a grand smile on his face.

“Need more coffee?” He asked Ben.

“No thank you, I’ve got to be leaving in a few minutes,” He returned and then noticed how chipper the cook appeared.  “Well, you sure look happy.  Care to tell the three of us why?  We could use some good news for a change.”

“Hop Sing got letter back from venerable Uncle Li and he come soon,” Hop Sing answered grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s wonderful,” Ben nodded and glanced over at his sons.  “When do we go and roll out that proverbial red carpet?”

“No say red carpet again, Mister Ben — you confuse Hop Sing.”

“Sorry.”

“Uncle Li come next week.  Please to have buckboard so Hop Sing can get from stage when he come?”

“Of course, Hop Sing.  We will go with you and bring your uncle here and make him feel welcome.  You just remind me next week when he’s due in, okay?” Ben nodded.

“Vely good – I tell you when I hear he leave San Francisco — three day and he get here.  I go bring Little Joe coffee – I see him out on porch with bird.  Think maybe little sparrow live after all.”

“That’s good to know – yes go take Joseph out some coffee – the boy didn’t eat again.”

Hop Sing filled a cup and hurried outside to give it to the youngest.

*************

Little Joe was busy chopping firewood as the cook walked onto the front porch.  Hop Sing stopped and peered in through the bars of the birdcage examining the sparrow.

“Little Joe!” He sang out and moved to the edge of the porch.  “I bring coffee for you.”

Joe turned and mopped his brow.  “I’m not really thirsty right now, Hop Sing.”

“You need eat!” Hop Sing protested.

Joe set the axe down and approached the cook.  “I’ll eat lunch don’t worry.”

“Little bird look ready to fly, Little Joe,” Hop Sing remarked as he pointed over to the cage.

“You think so?” Joe asked as he made his way up to the porch alongside Hop Sing.  “He’s a little perkier—but what about that cat?  Next time he might not win against that thing.”

Hop Sing touched Little Joe’s arm and replied, “Must not keep bird away from life no matter danger.  Bird must live life, Little Joe.  Not always can keep trouble away but bird learn to stay far from cat now I think.”

Joe pressed down on his bandage making sure that it hadn’t come loose while he had been busy chopping wood.  He thought about what Hop Sing had said and wondered if he might be talking about both him and the bird at the time.  “A cage isn’t such a bad thing, Hop Sing.”

“If stop from living it is, Little Joe,” He nodded staring directly at the boy.  “You build cage for you too, and that not good.”

Dropping his head down to break the penetrating gaze that the cook wore Joe replied, “I didn’t build my cage, Hop Sing – the man who cut me built it for me.  This bird doesn’t have to worry about other birds looking at its scarred face—or talking about him either, but I do.”

“Maybe so heal on inside, Little Joe – and then outside not be so bad?”

Joe shook his head and frowned.  He assumed that Hop Sing just didn’t understand what it was like to look so ugly, so it was easy for him to tell him to just go on living just as though nothing had happened to him.  “I gotta go get to that wood.  I’ll come in for lunch, Hop Sing.”

“When let bird out of cage?”

Little Joe shrugged his shoulders and gave a halfhearted reply, “Soon.”

“Alight,” Hop Sing nodded and left the boy with a quick pat to his arm and then hurried back inside the house.

************

Ben informed all three of his sons later that night that he had told Sheriff Coffee all about the information that they had garnered from both Avery Bastille and Judge Wharton and had assured Roy that they would keep him apprised as to anything else that they learned about Francois Balantaire.  Hoss and Adam had listened intently to what their father had offered but Joe had simply toyed with his dinner and offered no input into the matter.  Unless they knew where Balantaire was, Little Joe didn’t think there was much of a point going over any other information they had about him.  He had taken the sleeping powder that Pa had given him with little fanfare and had simply gone to bed leaving his family worried over his sudden acceptance about what was going on with the hunt for the vile man.

*************

When Sunday had rolled around everyone was busy getting ready to attend the church social.  Hop Sing had prepared several pies and cakes to bring as his own donation to the festivities and would also be there to help serve the food.   The three older Cartwrights slipped into a little more formal attire than work clothes and readied to leave.  Ben hadn’t even wanted to suggest that Little Joe ride along, knowing how hard he had taken the news about what Linda Dow had said about his appearance.

“Joseph, Fletcher is staying behind and will kind of watch over the place today until we get back,” Ben announced as he stood readying to walk out the door with his other sons.

“I don’t need a babysitter, Pa,” Joe returned frowning.  “I’ve got my gun – nobody will get the drop on me like Balantaire did after the barn dance.”

Settling a hand down onto the boy’s shoulder Ben replied, “He’s not babysitting – he hurt his toe the other day and is taking it easy.  I just wanted you to know that he’ll be staying here that’s all.”

Little Joe grabbed the birdcage there on the credenza and walked out of the door without another word said to his father.  He didn’t want to think about the church social since just three weeks ago he had great plans for attending with Linda there at his side.  Now that was all in the past and he never wanted to see her again, which he figured was a good thing because it was obvious that she thought he was a hideous looking young man now.

Adam and Hoss placed the various supplies and treats that Hop Sing had gotten together into the buckboard as they waited for their father to join them.

“Joseph?” Ben said as he moved out to the front porch and noticed his youngest sitting there at the table.  “If you’d like to go – you wouldn’t have to stay long?” He offered.

Shaking his head Joe replied, “Are you forgetting about this, Pa?” He pointed at his bandage and frowned.

“It’s just a bandage, Joseph – that’s all,” He responded quietly.

“Go on, Pa,” Joe stated resolutely.  There was no reason for him to take his ill mood out on his father and he knew it.  “I’ll see all of you later.”

Ben patted his son on the back and walked down the porch steps.  He stood next to Buck and waited for Hop Sing to come out of the house and join Hoss in the buckboard.

“Little Joe?”  Hop Sing called as he finally finished getting everything ready to leave.  “You let bird out today?” He asked, spotting the birdcage on the table resting next to where the boy sat.

“I don’t know – we’ll see.  Go and have a good time.”

“Remember what Hop Sing say about cage Little Joe,” He replied and then patted Joe’s arm and made his way down to the buckboard.

Little Joe watched as his father and Adam mounted their horses and Hoss sent the buckboard into motion with Hop Sing sitting there on his right.  The four of them waved over to him as they rode out of the yard heading for Virginia City.  His heart was heavy knowing that his days of enjoying social gatherings were now a thing of the past.  After a few silent minutes went by, Joe stared down at the sparrow.  “What do you think?  You want to go back out into the world again?”

Joe reached inside the cage carefully pulling the sparrow out and holding it gently in the palm of his hand.  “You know there’s always going to be things that will be out to get you, right?  So, if I release you – well – you’d better do a good job watching out for all of those.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Joe opened his hand and flattened his palm, so the bird was just standing there looking over at him.  “Go ahead – make your choice.  You can fly off or go back inside that cage.”

The sparrow tilted its head as though it had given Joe’s advice a great deal of thought and then launched itself off his hand.  It flew around the yard a few times and had even come close to Joe’s face for just a few seconds before disappearing over the rooftop.

“Good luck,” Joe whispered as the sparrow flew out of his view.  He felt a sharp twinge of pain perhaps because he felt like the bird had more guts than he did.  *** Sure, it doesn’t have to worry about other birds talking behind its back.  And I doubt any other bird will reject it just because it has a little scar there by its beak either. *** Joe thought to himself.

Busying himself with a few minor chores, Joe’s mind kept nagging at him.  He reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and his hand fell onto the letter from Linda.  *** I’m sorry Little Joe but unfortunately something’s come up and I won’t be in town for the church social, so I have to break our date.  Maybe sometime in the future I will make it up to you.  Linda. *** Joe read the letter to himself and shook his head angered by the lie she had told him.  “Yeah – sometime in the future you can make it up to me you lying little –,” he said aloud.  “I just bet you’re not there at that church social with Jeff Braxton, right?  I ought to –,” Joe stopped and felt a sharp pain shooting out from underneath his bandage.  He turned around and spotted the cage and the open door to it.  The sparrow hadn’t chosen to live a life that was safer but wouldn’t hold much enjoyment to it.  “I could just go for a minute or two and see Linda – then just come on home.  It’d be worth it to let her know that I’m not a chump and know exactly what she did today.”  Joe walked inside the house to get a clean shirt and brush his hair.  He knew that it was probably a fool thing to do – going to the church just for a couple of minutes and all just to confront the girl who he wasn’t even interested in anymore.  But the more Joe thought about what both Linda and Anne had said about him the more that it ate at his insides.  Yes, he had to agree that he wasn’t anything to look at anymore, but he hadn’t deserved the kinds of things they had said behind his back either.

Fifteen minutes later Joe had changed clothes, cleaned up a bit and saddled Cochise.   When he pulled his horse out of the barn, he heard Fletcher’s voice ringing out.

“Now just where do you think you’re going, Boy?” The hired hand said as he approached his boss’ youngest son.

Joe carefully pulled himself up into the saddle and looked down at the man.  “I forgot to tell my Pa something – so I’m gonna go drop by that church social for a few minutes,” He explained.

“Listen here you little varmint, don’t go pulling anything on me!  I know you all too well, Little Joe – and I can’t count the number of times that you got me in hot water with your pa over your lame-brained ideas.  If you’re dead set on going into town then I’m gonna have to go and saddle my horse and ride along with you.”

“No need to do that, Fletcher – I’ll be fine – I’ve got my gun so nobody’s gonna get the jump on me.  Besides your toe is supposedly messed up – unless that was a little white lie my father told me.”

Fletcher held the side of Cochise’s bridle in his hand and replied, “Your Pa doesn’t lie, Kid.  And yeah, my big toe is banged up and hurts something fierce, but I’d just as soon ride into town with you than to tell your father that I let you get away from me!”

Little Joe pressed his hand down onto his bandage and returned, “I’ll tell Pa that I slipped out when you weren’t looking.  Now let go of that bridle unless you want your hand yanked off when I kick at Cochise’s sides in about two seconds!”

Fletcher released the bridle and before he could offer up a few choice words to the boy, Joe sent his horse off in a gallop.

“Darn fool cantankerous no good — worthless –,” Fletcher began fussing as Joe disappeared from his sight.  He finally just laughed and limped away.  He had worried about the boy after hearing what had been done to him and Fletcher hoped that if Joe was really going into Virginia City at long last that it might just help him.  *** Ben ain’t gonna be very happy – but he knows that kid better than I do — so he’ll know that I did my best trying to talk sense into him.  Like talking sense into Little Joe Cartwright ever works! *** He thought to himself.

************

The church grounds were full of tables, chairs, and lots of people that early Sunday afternoon.  Many of the parishioners helped out with the food booths which were lined up on all sides of the grassy area and over at the far end of the church grounds stood a barbeque spit where a a steer had been dressed out and two men were rotating it as they added their special seasonings.  Children ran around and ladies dressed in their Sunday best milled about talking to the men who had come to the event.  Hop Sing was busy setting up the serving tables while Hoss was busy sampling the desserts that had been donated.  Adam stood next to an oak tree tuning up his guitar to play alongside several of the musicians who had performed at the barn dance earlier in the month.  While Ben Cartwright was standing close to the backsteps of the church next to both the Reverend and Doctor Paul Martin who were giving their congratulations to each other about what a great success the fundraiser had been.

Little Joe had bided his time and waited for the right chance to confront Linda Dow.  He had tied Cochise’s reins up to a hitching post towards the front of the church and not in the back like most everyone else who had ridden in for the event had.  He just wanted to make a quick appearance say what he had to and leave just as fast.  Joe’s mouth was parched and not because he hadn’t drunk anything.  He had a mouth full of canteen water right before he’d gotten to town.  His mouth was dry because he was worried about how he looked, though he’d made sure that his bandage was secure and wouldn’t fall off his face due to the humidity.  Still, it was the very first time that Joe had been around anyone outside of his family and Mitch, bandage or no bandage, since he had been stabbed by Francois Balantaire’s stiletto.

As Adam and several other musicians began to play a lively tune and the attention of most of the attendees seemed drawn to one side where the music was coming from, Joe decided it was time to make his move.  He stealthily walked around the perimeter of the church grounds and came to a halt next to a small table where Linda was standing alone.

“Linda,” Joe quietly called to the girl.

Turning her attention towards the sound of her name, she looked up, surprised to see Little Joe standing there with a huge bandage covering the right side of his face.  “Oh – Little Joe –,” she responded her face flushed with embarrassment.

“Didn’t mean to shock you, Linda,” Joe replied and stared at her hard.  “I guess you made it here after all, huh?”

“Oh—yes – I mean—I thought I was going to be gone today– but my parents changed their minds at the last minute, and we didn’t have to go out of town, Joe.”

“Well, that’s good,” Little Joe nodded and reached for her elbow.  “I guess that means that our date is back on.”

A man suddenly approached carrying two glasses of punch.  He set them down onto the table behind Linda and said, “Is he bothering you, Honey?”

“Honey?” Joe asked feigning surprise over the fact that another young man was calling Linda that.  “I’m sure you’ve got the wrong girl – Jeff, is it?”

“That’s right that’s my name and she’s my girl,” The other man nodded and looked back and forth between Linda and Joe.  “Now get your hand off of my date’s elbow.”

“Your date?  You’re mistaken—you see Linda and I had a date today – isn’t that right, Linda?”

“Just let it alone, Little Joe — I’ve found somebody else and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so I said I’d be gone,” She attempted to lie her way out of the situation.

“You sure found somebody else fast, huh?” Joe said sarcastically.

“I said get your hand off of my girl’s elbow!” Jeff insisted, growing louder.

“You can have her – I don’t like liars anyhow.” Little Joe replied and dropped his hand off the girl’s elbow.

“If your face wasn’t messed up, I’d hit you for that!”

“I still have one good side – don’t let that stop you,” Joe sneered.

“I ain’t gonna hit you – not at no church.  I’ll just get rid of you this way,” he announced and before Joe had a clue as to what the other man was readying to do, Jeff snatched the bandage off his face and threw it down into the dirt.

Linda gasped when she caught sight of the gruesome looking scar.  Horrified that everyone could now see his face, Joe dove down to the ground, quickly grabbing the bandage and shoving it back onto his right cheek.  After hearing the loud commotion, a few more people gathered around next to Linda and Jeff including Hoss and Ben.  They hadn’t arrived in time to stop what had happened or say anything to Joe because after he had retrieved the bandage he ran from the church grounds as fast as he could and hurriedly mounted his horse.  Hoss reared back a fist wanting to slug Jeff for what he had done to his little brother, but Pa’s hand stopped him at the last minute.

“No – no, Hoss – not here,” Ben whispered as his eyes scanned the area to see where his youngest had run off to.

“I – I didn’t know that kid was scarred up like that — -I’m sorry – I just thought it was something minor,” Jeff apologized to the people who stared over at him with disbelief and anger on their faces over what he had done to Little Joe.

“I owe you one,” Hoss threatened Jeff and then neared his father.  “Want me to get Adam’s horse and go after Joe, Pa?”

Ben handed his son the glass of punch he had been holding and shook his head.  “I’d better go.  Tell your brother what’s happened.  You both stay here and help Hop Sing – I’ll catch up with the boy.  And – Hoss?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Don’t hit that guy—no matter how much you want to, this is a fund raiser we don’t need to ruin it for everyone over some loud mouth inconsiderate —,” Ben trailed off not being able to use the kind of language that he wanted to cognizant over the fact that they were standing on church property at the time.

“Okay, Pa – we’ll meet you at home.  Tell Little Joe — well –tell him hardly anyone saw him, okay?”

Ben nodded and hurried to mount his horse.  He knew that he had to get to his youngest before he did something drastic.  Joe’s face having been uncovered like that, and in the company of several people with all of them getting a view of his scar, had to seem overwhelming to his son.   Ben found it hard to believe that Joseph would have ventured out that day but now having seen the look on Linda’s face, he presumed that the boy had done it to, in some small way, show her that he knew she was a liar.

************

Not being sure just where his youngest would have gone, Ben tried to follow Cochise’s tracks as best he could.  After a couple of miles, he was relieved to see that the boy was apparently heading back to the ranch house though at a very fast clip.  He picked up his pace and entered the front yard a short while after Joe had arrived.  Fletcher limped outside from the bunkhouse.

“Ben?  I saw Little Joe flying in here a little while ago.  I tried to make that kid stay but –,” Fletcher was cut short by his boss.

“It’s okay— put our horses away will you, Fletcher?” Ben sang out and jogged into the ranch house.

Flinging the front door open, Ben’s eyes began to scan the living room, falling first on the credenza.  He noticed that Joe hadn’t removed his gun when he had gone inside.  The thought of the boy going upstairs still having his Colt on him filled his mind with the kind of dread no parent ever wanted to feel.  Suddenly there were loud banging noises which filtered down the stairs.  It sounded as though his son’s rage had taken over and apparently Joseph was back to his former habit of taking his anger and pain out on inanimate objects again.  But even still, there was the persistent nagging thought of Joe’s gun being up in his room with him that Ben couldn’t get past.  Wondering if, in his son’s grief over what had happened at the church social, it could make him snap and try to harm himself, Pa ran to the stairs taking them two at a time trying to get to the boy before it was too late.

“Joseph!” Ben yelled as he pounded on the bedroom door.  He had already tested the doorknob, finding it locked.  “Joseph – unlock this door right now!”

Instead of a reply Ben heard more objects being thrown around the bedroom, some of them making a crashing sound as they hit the walls and slid down to the floor.

“Joseph!  Open this door NOW!” He demanded, his hands trembling as he twisted the doorknob once again. *** I know there’s a key to this door somewhere!  Is it in my desk drawer?  Where the hell did I put it? *** Ben’s thoughts raced in his mind hoping to prevent disaster if Joe were to grab his gun.   The room grew suddenly still and that made it even more frightening due to the implications.  He wondered if Joseph was getting ready to turn the Colt on himself.

“Joseph!  Now I want you to open your door for me — right now!  C’mon – let’s talk it out— everything will be alright.  Just let me in!”  *** Who am I kidding?  Nothing is alright – and we both know it!  How in the world can I get him to believe what I’m saying when even I don’t believe what I’m saying to him myself? *** He wondered and fought to figure out how to get the door open.

Ben dug inside his pants pocket and finally came out with his pocketknife.  He opened the blade and stuck it inside the keyhole.  With his hand shaking and his breathing shallow, he jiggled the point of the knife around trying to spring the lock.  The sound of success came just a minute or two later and Ben was finally able to turn the doorknob, pushing the door inward.  He was terrified over what he imagined he would find inside the bedroom which had remained as quiet as a mausoleum for close to five minutes while he had fought with the lock.

Ben had entered the room just in time to see Joseph falling down to his knees there next to the chair by his bed.  The boy appeared to have exhausted his anger and now looked absolutely deflated in spirit.  Cautiously Pa approached Joe, grasping for words which might offer some comfort to him.  He couldn’t think of any.  Ben was aware that his son felt humiliated and totally exposed the second that his bandage had been snatched off his face there at the church grounds.  Only a few people had witnessed seeing the scar and even those handful hadn’t seen enough of it to know the extent of damage Joe’s face had taken due to his attacker’s knife.  However, that fact wouldn’t matter to the boy.  It wouldn’t have mattered to Joe if there had only been a solitary soul who had viewed his scar, it would have been one too many.  Ben drew in a deep breath trying to get his heart to stop racing as fast as it had for the last five minutes.  He then exhaled wondering what the best course of action would be for him to take now.  Should he go down onto the floor next to his son?  Should he just stand there and say the same lie that “everything will be alright”?  He shook his head over the inane ways in which he had tried to help Joseph thus far, as none had worked.  He would have to simply go with his gut on this one he decided.

Ben leaned down to the chair where the boy knelt with his forehead resting on the cushioned seat.  Gingerly reaching toward his son, he braided his fingers into those of Joseph’s left hand and gently pulled him upright.  No fight left inside the boy; he came up from the floor effortlessly.  Ben was beside himself with worry when Joe felt so lifeless now held in his arms.  He would have presumed that the boy had fainted, but he was still standing there next to him of his own volition.  Ben held onto him but this time, unlike in the recent past, his hold wasn’t fierce nor were the words that he whispered.  There was a great need for calm as only that would provide the boy some solace this time.  Joe had been pushed to the breaking point, and his father was keenly aware of that fact.  He had been cut, cut many times and not just his face.  Long before the coward who had tied his son to a tree had gone to work on the boy’s face, he had cut Joseph in other ways.  He had used his vile lies to carve his son’s love for his mother out of his heart. Francois Balantaire had woven a tale of a whorish woman into the very few memories that Joseph had left of Marie.  Now she was also cut, cut out of her son’s life and that had left a hole deeper than that of the scar he bore on the right side of his face.  Ben knew that he couldn’t remove the wound or lessen the scar even though he would have given his own life to do so.  However, he hoped that someday soon he would be able to repair the deep wound to Joseph’s heart and put his mother back inside of it where she belonged.

Sighing deeply, Ben thought about the fact that his son now carried another scar and this time it hadn’t been delivered to him by an assailant but by the cruel way in which that man at the church social had removed Joseph’s bandage from his face.  The boy now felt like his secret had been on public display for all to see.  He had a hard time trying to understand why Joseph felt shame for having a scar on his face since he hadn’t caused it.  Ben knew that the only way that his son had been able to cope after living through the frightening attack was by hiding behind a bandage and now that had also been taken from him.  He didn’t know how much more Joseph could endure or if he’d already gone beyond the breaking point and would give up on life and never again venture into the world any farther than his bedroom.  Startled from his thoughts, Ben heard the whispered voice.  He strained to hear his son and what he had said.

“What’s that, Son?” He asked softly, still holding the boy in his arms.

“Need it to be over, Pa,” Joe whispered against his father’s chest.

“I understand,” Ben nodded.  It had just been a short affirmation that he knew exactly how his son felt though he couldn’t do a thing to accomplish the boy’s request.

“Need to sleep.”

Carefully easing his son over to the bed, he waited until he had spread out on top of the comforter and then pulled the quilt up from the footboard and placed it over the boy.  Ben slowly ran his fingers through Joe’s curly hair until he finally fell off into an exhaustive sleep.

*** He can’t take much more, Lord, please help him. *** Ben prayed once again, his heart breaking as he noticed the single tear which still rested just on top of the bandage on Little Joe’s right cheek.  Bending over he pulled it off him and shook his head sadly.  Joseph had ridden all the way home with the filthy thing on his face just so no one could see his scar. The bandage had gotten dirty when the vile man had thrown it down on the ground making Joe scrounge it back up in a pure panic.  Ben walked over to the water basin.  He soaked a washcloth and brought it back over to his son to gently wash away the remnants of grime which had caked inside the scar.  Ben would wait until Joseph awoke to rebandage his face.   His eyes surveyed the room and noticed the damage caused by his son’s pent-up anger.  He would see to that later, right now his son needed some peace.  Ben walked across the room where Joseph had left his holster just resting on the floor next to the bureau.  The Colt which he had been so worried about was still resting inside of it.  Ben bent down and lifted the holster off the floor, slinging it over his shoulder.  Sighing with relief he quietly eased out of his son’s bedroom.

************

The reverend insisted that neither Hop Sing nor the two Cartwright boys stay and help put away the tables or help clean up knowing that they were all much more needed back home.  They hurriedly left two thirds of the way through the festivities and headed back to the ranch.

“How’s Little Joe?” Hoss called out of breath the minute he made it over the threshold.  He had been worried about the kid for hours until it had grown almost unbearable to wait there at the church.

Standing from his chair, Ben wearily crossed the room coming to a stop there in front of Hoss and soon both Adam and Hop Sing as well.

“That boy is done in.  He’s upstairs sleeping.”

“You should’ve let me punch that Jeff fellow, Pa!” Hoss insisted.

“I’d have liked to get a few licks in myself,” Adam agreed as he moved closer to his father.

“Hop Sing go after with butcher knife!”

Ben groaned and replied, “Fine –then we are all in agreement that we’d have loved to hit that man.  Now, everyone settle down it’s been a very long day.”

“Anything we can do for the kid, Pa?”

“Be patient with him all of you – and it sure wouldn’t hurt to say some extra prayers either.  I’m at a loss right now as to what I can say or do.  I think Joseph is at a loss too.  Let’s just take it one day at a time.  See what he can handle and what he can’t, and no one press him on anything for a while.”

“Hop Sing feel vely bad.  Think maybe so my fault,” He confessed sadly.

“Why is it your fault?” Ben asked confused.

“I tell Little Joe he build cage for himself – and must get out like little bird.  He say he not build cage – man who cut boy did.”

“I guess that’s why that cage out on the porch is empty, Pa.  Joe must’ve let that sparrow go – and then decided to go on into town,” Hoss offered.

“You meant it for Joseph’s own good, Hop Sing.  Don’t you blame yourself any.  He decided to go into town himself,” Ben tried to ease the man’s guilt.  “But from now on we do as he wants – if that means he doesn’t want to leave the house—well we’ve got to let him go at his own pace.”

“You’re right, Pa.  It’s all been too much on the kid,” Adam agreed.

Hoss was just about to chime in with his own thoughts when there was a knock on the front door.  He walked over to answer it and saw the telegrapher’s assistant standing there.

“Jim?  What brings you out here?” Hoss asked as he led the man inside.

“Can’t stay, Hoss.  Hi Mister Cartwright — Adam –Hop Sing.  I don’t have a telegram for you, but I was heading to Bob Wiley’s place for supper and when I picked up my mail earlier Daniel asked if I’d bring this letter out to you.  He said it’s from New Orleans and he figured you’d all want it.  He tried to get somebody to bring it out yesterday but none of you came into town and once he heard I was heading over to Bob’s he thought I could bring it over to you.”

Hoss stared down at the envelope and back over at Jim.  “Can I give you something for delivering this for us, Jim?”

“No, Hoss – but next time you see me at the Silver Dollar maybe you’ll buy me a beer, huh?” The man smiled.

“Sure thing,” Hoss grinned and walked the man back to the door.  “Thanks again,” He called as the man headed to his horse.

Ben neared his middle boy and took the envelope from him.  He tore it open and read the note that was attached to a sketch.  His face took on a severe look to it.

“What is it, Pa?” Adam asked as he moved over next to his father and brother.

Ben held the drawing out so both Hoss and Adam could see it.  “This is Francois Balantaire.”

*************

The very last thing that Ben Cartwright wanted to do the next morning was to show his youngest son the picture that he had received from the detective, but he knew that Joe was the only person who could positively identify Francois Balantaire as his attacker.  He waited until after breakfast and then moved over to his desk signaling Joe to join him there.

“What is it, Pa?” Joe asked, his voice still sounding listless, which was how he looked as well.

“This came yesterday, Son.  It’s from Avery.  He dug up a sketch of Francois Balantaire from the trial notes when he was convicted of stabbing that woman in New Orleans.  I wish that I didn’t have to ask you this – but I do.  Joseph, is this the man who cut you?” Ben handed the picture across the desk to where his son stood.

Joe’s hand shook as he stared down at the drawing of the man who had stolen so much from him and who had harmed him in ways that he couldn’t express in words.

*** “Jagged or straight?” Francois questioned, smiling. ***

Feeling as though he might faint from the vision that the picture had conjured in his head, Joe leaned heavily on the desktop.

“Joseph?” Ben asked again though he already had his answer just staring at the effect that the man’s picture was having on his son.  He was half tempted to rush around the desk just in case his son passed out.

“It’s him,” Joe whispered.  Fighting to catch his breath, he stood erect and handed the picture back to his father.  He then turned and simply walked away.

****************

Ben had gone to see Roy Coffee as soon as he had finished speaking to his son.  He shared all the new information that he had received from Avery Bastille’s letter and told Roy that Joe had positively identified him as the man who had cut him.  Afterwards the lawman had taken the drawing to the printers to have copied.  Next Roy had three dozen posters with the man’s likeness printed off and all of them read: Francois Balantaire, six-foot, medium build, dark eyes, wavy brown hair.  Age fifty, wanted in connection for assault with a deadly weapon.  Contact Sheriff Roy Coffee, Virginia City, Nevada.  Reward of five thousand dollars leading to the arrest of this man.  Roy sent the posters in all directions to every town within two hundred miles of Virginia City.  The hunt was now officially on.

**************

At the end of the week Hop Sing and the Cartwrights welcomed his great Uncle Li Sing into their home.  The man was a spry ninety-year-old who didn’t speak one word of English but had a smile which could warm even the coldest heart.  Ben had offered him the best bed in the house, but the man insisted on sleeping on his own straw mat that he had brought over from China.  Hop Sing explained to Ben that it was his uncle’s way, and it had served him well for ninety years.  Hoss enjoyed showing the man around the Ponderosa pointing out all the various animals while Adam had entertained the man with some ballads on his guitar each night.  While Little Joe didn’t have much to offer, he had remembered a few words in Chinese as a greeting that Hop Sing had taught him many years ago and he took the time to recite them every morning and evening to honor the elderly man.  He had noticed that Li Sing seemed to stare at him a lot, especially at times when no one else was around.  But Joe figured that it was because his right cheek was still hidden underneath a bandage and Li Sing probably just wanted to see how bad a scar he bore.  The visit was due to end soon as Li Sing had other relatives in America to visit who all wanted to see the elder of the family at least one more time.

On the final night of his stay, Li Sing stood in the living room and bowed to his hosts before heading into Hop Sing’s quarters to go to sleep.  They all did their best to thank him for coming to visit and had asked Hop Sing to translate their well wishes for a safe journey for them which he gladly did.

*************

Ben eyed his youngest and waited to see if he was going to ask for some medicine to help him to sleep or say anything to his brothers before he headed up to his room.  Ever since the incident at the church social the boy had been tight lipped and only spoke a few words here and there.  Pa had reminded Hoss and Adam not to pressure Joe and just allow him to go at his own pace to see if he would come out from under his depression soon.  He had to abide by his own instructions though it had gotten harder to follow through on as Joe seemed to be growing more distant from his family members as each day passed into the next.

************

Ben awoke after he thought he heard voices across the hall.  He wondered if Joseph was having another nightmare and pulled his robe and slippers on and headed out of his room.  When he eased the door to Little Joe’s bedroom open Ben was surprised to see both Hop Sing and his Uncle Li standing next to the boy’s bed.  They both had their hands resting on Joe’s bare right cheek and were chanting.

“What’s going on, Hop Sing?” Ben whispered as he drew closer a perplexed look on his face.

“Mister Ben – Uncle just saying prayer for Little Joe— not to worry.  Boy sleep.”

Uncle Li stared over at Ben and nodded to him with eyes that seemed unearthly at the time.  He cast a knowing smile at the worried father and then began to chant once more.

“Joseph might wake up, Hop Sing – you know he has trouble sleeping,” Ben protested.

“Not tonight, Mister Ben, he sleep – no worry.  You go bed – we through vely soon.”

Ben shrugged his shoulders and gave a reverent bow to Uncle Li before leaving his son’s room.  He didn’t know for the life of him how Joseph could possibly sleep through the racket which was going on right above where he was lying at the time.  But Ben knew how much Hop Sing loved the boy and would protect him, so he just let the two men do as they wanted.  After all Uncle Li would be leaving the next day and that would be that.  Ben eased back down onto his bed and was soon sound asleep.

**************

Hop Sing stood alongside his great uncle and watched as he opened the ornamental alabaster jar and placed the small teakwood spoon inside.  He ladled out a small amount of thick green looking ointment onto it.  Uncle Li pointed to his nephew and Hop Sing held out his right pointer and middle finger to accept the substance from the spoon.  Next, as his uncle whispered a prayer, he spread the ointment onto Little Joe’s scar and rubbed it in until it vanished into the skin.  Uncle Li smiled and nodded his way.  He whispered in Chinese the reminder for his nephew to do that exactly as he had been shown every single night between two a.m. and three.  Hop Sing looked lovingly at the sleeping young man and whispered, “Hop Sing take care you — like always, Little Joe.”

**************

The household had gone back to somewhat normal after the excitement of Uncle Li’s visit.  Ben kept in contact with Roy, expecting some news about the wanted posters and hoping that they would assist them in finding Francois Balantaire but that had yet to come into fruition.  Hoss and Adam were busy most days with the herd but made it home every night for supper.  And then there was Joseph, and nothing at all had changed with him other than the fact that he had become even more distant with everyone in his family including his Pa.  After supper Ben moved into the living room where both Hoss and Adam were preparing for a checkers match.

“Did you see where your brother went off to, Boys?” Ben asked as he sat down by the fireplace.

“Gosh I don’t know, Pa – I guess he’s probably out in the yard like usual.  He just sits out there in the dark until he gets tired and then goes up to bed,” Hoss sighed.  He missed his little brother and how the two of them used to hang out together, but that hadn’t happened since he’d been hurt now a month ago.

“There’s the sound of thunder, Pa— guess we’ll have a storm on top of us soon,” Adam remarked, trying to divert his father’s attention because he knew that Pa’s concern just kept mounting over Little Joe’s behavior of late.

Ben listened as the rumble of more thunder shook the foundation.  “Maybe I’d better go and let Joe know to come in before the rain is on top of us,” He announced and headed outside.

**************

Walking around the outside of the house and inside the barn Ben tried to figure out where his youngest had gone.  Finally walking behind the barn, he faintly made out the form of the boy almost completely cloaked in darkness.

“Joseph — I almost didn’t spot you out here.  It’s awfully dark,” Ben said as he walked over next to the boy.

“That’s how I feel right now, Pa – my life’s gone dark on me.”

Ben drew in a deep breath struggling to come up with any words that might help.  Well, Son, every long night gives you one bright shining star,” he mused and pointed up at the sky.

Joe looked through the advancing clouds, following the direction where his father had pointed with his finger.  “North star,” he muttered.

“That’s right.  Now – tell me what you’re thinking,” Ben asked softly and set a hand down onto the boy’s arm.

Little Joe shrugged his shoulders, feeling at a loss over how to explain himself.  “I don’t know exactly, Pa.  I guess some nights are just longer than others.”

Ben draped his right arm down onto the boy’s shoulder.  “I remember Hop Sing – when he’d catch me in a somber mood – well – he’d always tell me, “No night so long that you can’t find the day – and no day so wrong that you can’t find your way.  It somehow made sense to me back then.”

Joe stared down at the ground taking in his father’s words.  He suddenly grew quiet and didn’t respond.

“What is it, Joseph?  Talk to me.”

“I – I just don’t know how, Pa – how to explain it.  I guess I just don’t know who I am anymore.”

Ben nodded his understanding and replied, “You’ve been distancing yourself from all of us here lately.”  Pa stopped and pointed his finger.  “Inside that house over there are three people who love you and don’t see you any differently than they’ve always seen you.  And out here – well – you’ve got to know how much I love you, right?”

“Yeah, Pa – I know.  And I know that all of you care about me – but I don’t know who I am.”

“Joseph –,” Ben paused and smiled at the boy.  “I’ve been waiting for you to call on me – like you used to do – I still can show you who you are.”  Ben affirmed and patted the boy’s back.

Turning towards his Pa, Joe shot him a questioning look, wondering what he was planning on saying this time.  He knew that his father had been trying his best to pull him up out of his doldrums, but nothing had helped.

Ben cleared his throat to gather his thoughts and then set his hand onto Joe’s shoulder again and began.  “Let’s see – the question of the hour is who you are, right?  You are, depending on which brother we ask, either Short Shanks, Little Joe or “the kid”.  So, you are all that along with being someone who Hop Sing apparently thinks is at least partly his own son.  So, there’s that.  And you are, of course, most importantly, my son, Joseph.  You are also a wonderful friend, a thoughtful person, and perhaps one of the most ornery and hard-headed people the Good Lord ever created!” Ben paused, hoping that he might have elicited a smile from the boy.  After taking a good look at him, he considered it a partial victory that Joe was no longer frowning.  “Joseph – you are so much more than you think that you are.  You’ve got to stop being consumed with what’s underneath that bandage.”

Words wouldn’t come; they were stuck inside Joe’s heart.  When the silence became uncomfortable Ben cleared his throat and pulled Joe around to face him.  “Joseph, that bandage – you don’t need it with us – we love you,” He whispered.  He carefully reached for the bandage which hid the boy’s scar.  “Don’t hide underneath this — not from us, Joseph,” Pa gently eased it off Joe’s face.  “There,” Ben paused and took a good look at his youngest.  As far as he was concerned Joseph was just as handsome as he had always been.  “Now that’s who you are,” Pa smiled and placed both of his hands on either side of his son’s face.

Joe’s eyes glazed over with tears.  He stared at his father, and it was very apparent that Pa didn’t see the scar but only his youngest there before him.  “Okay, Pa,” Joe whispered.  “I’ll keep my bandage off for a little while.”

Ben pulled the boy into his arms and hugged him tightly, relieved that his son was going to attempt to let his guard down around his family.  That was a major victory as far as he was concerned.   Joe closed his eyes wishing that he could go back in time so he could be as he had been before.  He drew comfort from his father’s embrace and hoped that he would have the courage that it would take to face his brothers and Hop Sing without a bandage to hide his scar from them.

Ben could read the apprehension in his son’s eyes.  Casting a reassuring smile he said, “Let’s go inside – Joseph – there’s three people in there who’ve missed you – and the other one is right here next to you trying to remind you who you are.”

Joe walked with his father inside the ranch house.  Outside the sound of distant thunder rumbled louder and soon the rain joined in.  It was the sign of an impending storm that was rapidly approaching and it would be a very rough one.  But every storm runs out of rain.

The End –

Of part two, the series will conclude with the next story titled, “Every Storm Runs Out of Rain.”

Written by Wrangler

1-28-2026

(Dedicated to Rob the story consultant who is the logical one.  And to both Carm and Rosalyn the two muses that kept me going and urged me to get this dang thing written. Thanks girls you’re both peaches in my book!)

*** The character of Simon LaRoche was from the Bonanza episode called, “The Stranger” written by Laurence Heath and Oliver Crawford. ***

*** The characters of Avery Bastille and Rene Marchant are from my story titled, “Always My Son”.