Summary: Adam is very grateful for his brothers and their wives as Carole goes into premature labour.
Rating: PG13 (20,480 words)
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The Cartwright Saga Series:
The Lawyer
The Homecoming
Home to Stay
Honeymoon and Arguments
Joe and Marie
Adam and Carole
A European Trip
The Aftermath
A Busy Summer
A Tree Falls
San Fracisco Trip
A Stranger from the Past
A Sense of Blame
The Medicine Man
Courtship and Cattle Drives
Angels with Red Hair?
Thieves and Murderers
Pipeline Problems
Guests for Christmas
A Turbulent Preacher
Joe and Nita
Ben and Beth
Banks, Pipelines, and Railroads
Lost
A New Operation
A Slow Recovery
Celebrations
Forest Fire
A Premature Birth
The Bank of California
Trail Drive
Robbery and Assault
Virginia City on Fire
Rebuilding Virginia City
Catching Up
Christenings, Commissions, and Christmas
Winter Ills
The Lawyer #2 – Advance Warning
The Lawyer #3 – Family Row #1
The Lawyer #4 – Family Row #2
The Lawyer #5 – Family Row #3
The Lawyer #6 – The Spanish Land Grant #1
The Lawyer #7 – The Spanish Land Grant #2 – Court Hearing
The Lawyer #8 – The Spanish Land Grant #3 – Knight Errant
The Lawyer #9 – The Spanish Land Grant #4 – The Long Journey Home
The Lawyer #10 – The Spanish Land Grant #5 – Troy’s Last Stand
A Premature Birth
Monday started of just as any other day, the children were up early but Adam left Carole to cope while he made a start on the work which was beginning to pile up adding to that left over from the previous day. Joe looked in to see if they wanted anything from town. He was taking Nita in with him, partly for the company and partly as a screen against his activities. Carole asked Nita to collect some thread for her but otherwise they were okay. Sue had been in two minds whether to join them; she did have a list of things she needed but decided just to give them a note of the most urgent. She would wait and get Hoss to take her in once he came home, let Joe and Nita have some time alone. That was a decision Adam came to thank God for but as he saw his brother off, with just a reminder to be careful, he had no premonition of what the day would bring.
Mid-morning Adam joined Carole and Sue for coffee and everything seemed fine but it was just after he’d gone back to the study that Carole got the first twinges of pain. It passed quickly and she ignored it. The later stages of her pregnancy this time had been beset with odd aches and pains, unlike the twins or Marie and she had found the best way was just to ignore them. Five minutes later the pain was back, the all too familiar pains of early labour and after another hour when the pains were coming regularly about every four minutes, Carole decided she had better at least tell Sue. It was fully six weeks too early and she had more reason than anyone to be sure of her dates, she couldn’t be wrong but babies did come early. Sue had been watching her anyway and it wasn’t any great surprise when Carole said, very quietly so as not to disturb Adam, “I think the baby may be early.”
Sue called Kam Su to look after the children and she went upstairs with Carole. Sue had done her share of deliveries as a nurse and it didn’t take a minute to confirm Carole’s guess as the next pain caught her. What worried Sue was that as far as she could tell the baby was going to be a breach birth, all too frequent a condition with premature babies who hadn’t yet turned into the normal birth position and moved down. Sue said “We’d better send for Doc.”
“Might be a false alarm, it’s very early.”
“Six weeks, the baby will be quite well grown, stands an excellent chance, but for Adam’s sake if nothing else we ought to send for Doc. You know better than I do how worried he gets about you and he’s still not strong.” Sue did her very best to hide her concern and cheer Carole up, seeing the fear for the baby that Carole couldn’t hide.
Before Carole could answer Adam came in, he had sensed that something was wrong and come to investigate. He didn’t need telling one look at Carole’s face made it very clear. Adam lost colour but he was quite calm. “Go and get Pak Tsein to go to town for Doc. As soon as he’s seen Doc tell him to find Joe and Nita, get then back, and Sue send Kam Ling over to Hop Sing. Tell Hop Sing to send word to Hoss, I want him here and then to come over himself.”
Sue nodded, “Try not to worry either of you; the baby is big enough to stand an excellent chance.” Then Sue hurried out to do as she was asked, to get Doc for Carole and to get his brothers to help Adam, well aware how much he relied on them. It was a pity that Joe had gone to town but she was very glad that she hadn’t, although there was little she or anyone could do. She feared it was going to be a long job, knowing that Carole always had slight difficulty due to her build and the complication of a breech birth was bound to make it worse. The one consolation was that this wasn’t Carole’s first child. That thought made her tense in fear for herself and her baby and the child as though protesting kicked fiercely. Sue deliberately relaxed, with everyone else out Adam and Carole needed her help and she loved them and wasn’t about to let them down. It didn’t take long to get the two young Chinese men on their errands and Sue stood for a moment looking over towards the west shore, knowing how long it would take Hoss to get home. She was touched that Adam wanting her big husband and scared that he might need Hoss’ support badly before this was over and then she headed back in to do anything that she could.
Adam had fought and gained control of himself. Sue was right the baby had a chance and it was his job now to help Carole and make it as easy as possible for her. Carole wasn’t at all worried about herself, her fears were equally divided between the baby coming too soon and her husband, too weak for this especially in the absence of his father and brothers. Adam did his best to convince her that he was fine and everything was going to be alright but she was too aware of the fear in his eyes and his pallor which he couldn’t hide. Both of them were glad as Sue put her head round the door and Adam told her to come in. Sue smiled “All messages sent. Doc, Joe and Nita should be here in a couple of hours or so and Hoss will be on his way soon. Kam Su is looking after the children and Hop Sing and Kam Ling will be here too, so the children will be fine.”
“Thanks Sue, could you get some coffee?” Carole asked, “And maybe the brandy.”
Adam shook his head, “Not good for you and I don’t want any.”
“Are you sure darling, you look very pale?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me. We’ve been through this before and I know you’ll be fine.” Adam smiled, “I could do with some coffee.” He fought hard to hide his fear and to remain cheerful and Carole relaxed a little. The pains were a little worse but she had been through it before and she knew what to expect, between pains she talked quietly to Adam. Hop Sing brought up coffee and confirmed that Hoss was starting back immediately, Jess could cope and he was quite prepared to finish up for them.
Adam was glad to hear that his big brother was on his way home but he knew it was going to take a long time and he prayed that it would all be over with Carole and the baby fit and well by the time Hoss arrived. At least Joe should be back soon, he wanted his brothers more than he could explain, weaker than he liked to admit.
Doc was at home and receiving Sue’s note with word of a breech birth, he quickly collected what he would need while Pak Tsien harnessed up the buggy for him. Doc was the only outsider to have any real conception just how much this baby meant to Adam and Carole and how much Adam had been through in recent weeks, the worries Carole had had. He knew that he might have to consider a Caesarean birth but with such a premature baby he really didn’t want to. Worried for his old friends, knowing that Ben was away, Doc set out as fast as he could and only then was Pal Tsien free to go and look for Joe and Nita. He was in luck Joe had spent a busy morning getting the purchase of shares started very quietly and he had headed back to collect Nita from the dressmakers where they had agreed to meet. Pak Tsien saw his master and hurried across the street to join him. Joe was about to go in when he saw his houseman and his heart seemed to stop dead. Nita was the first to reach his side, seeing the near panic on his face “Whatever’s wrong Joe?”
Only the dressmaker Elizabeth Bowen, an old friend, was there and seeing the look on Joe’s face she turned the sign on the door to ‘Closed’ as Pak Tsien came in. Joe couldn’t find his voice, certain it meant trouble but the little Chinaman didn’t keep him in suspense, “Mrs Sue sent me, fetch Doc. Mrs Carole’s baby coming early. Mr Adam wants you.”
Joe knowing too well how weak Adam was and the state he got into over childbirth cursed the fact that he’d come to town, his brother needed him and it would take all too long to get home. Nita gripped his arm, “At least Sue is there, she’ll help. She’s a nurse.”
“Sure, but Adam’s not well enough. Doc?”
Pak Tsien nodded “He gone already.”
Joe straightened his shoulders, “Good, come on Nita we must get home.”
She kissed him “Pak Tsien can come with me in the buggy. You take his horse you’ll make better time.”
Joe hesitated, uncertain, she was pregnant too and he didn’t like her to be alone. Mrs Bowen had fetched some brandy and poured him one. “Here Little Joe have a drink.”
Joe was grateful for the drink but he didn’t seem able to think clearly. Nita smiled “I’m fine darling and Adam needs you more than I do. You can get back faster alone.”
Joe was torn but he knew how weak Adam still was and he decided he could trust Pak Tsien, “Alright sweetheart but be very careful, come straight home. I’ll send someone out to meet you.”
“I’ll be fine, you go help Adam.”
Joe kissed her and quickly checking where Pak Tsien had left his horse, Joe pushed through the crowds, oblivious of everyone only wanting to get home. There wouldn’t be anything he could do for Carole or the baby but pray, maybe he could help his brother and with his father in San Francisco and Hoss on the west shore, for a while he was the only one who might help. As he pushed through to the Ponderosa horse Dan saw him and came over, seeing the fear etched deep in Joe’s eyes he asked “What’s wrong?”
“Carole’s baby is coming early I have to get home try and help Adam.”
“Is there anything I can do? Do you want me to send word to your father?”
“No point in worrying him but….”
“Anything Joe.”
“Nita is in town. Pak Tsien is with her but she’s pregnant too and I can’t help worrying. Would you bring her out to the house, I’ll send someone out to meet you and take over.”
“Of course Joe, no problem.”
“Thanks Dan,” Joe managed a smile “It would ease my mind. She’s over at the dressmakers.”
“Go on Joe I’ll look after your wife and I’ll be praying for Carole and Adam. Doc will see to everything.” Joe swung up and easier in his mind about his wife he pushed hard not waiting for anyone and woe betide anyone who got in his way. He made the best possible time, eager to get home, very conscious of his brother’s fears.
Adam found it very hard to keep calm without any of his family and the baby coming so early. Scared more for the baby than for Carole and somehow not even able to pray. He was tormented by memories of the previous autumn when he’d feared that this child would never be conceived. He did his very best to hide his feelings from Carole but she knew him too well and she was more anxious for Joe’s arrival for Adam rather than Doc’s. So far Sue hadn’t told either of them that the baby was lying wrong, leaving that until Doc was there but both loved her and knew the tall redhead very well. They had come to rely heavily on her and first Carole and then Adam saw the worry she was trying to hide, but neither commented hoping to hide it from each other. The time seemed to pass so very slowly and the pains quickened a little. Adam tensed up and he was more aware of his injuries than he’d been in weeks. He was on edge waiting for Doc to arrive and almost equally for Joe but it seemed to take forever. Carole was getting more conscious of the pain but she did her best to hide it, Adam was already looking drawn. She assumed that Sue was just worried that the baby was too early, too immature. She had borne three children and wasn’t too scared by the actual labour. She just wanted Doc and Joe to get there, for her husband even more than for herself.
In fact the two arrived together, Joe had caught Doc up about a quarter of a mile from the house. Doc had made good time, his light buggy little slower than horseback given a decent road. Joe would have gone on but Doc was glad of the chance to speak to him and Joe was the first one to hear that it wasn’t going to be a straightforward birth. Doc said that it wasn’t at all uncommon with babies this premature and at least Carole had had other children, but with her build it was likely to prove a long hard labour.
Joe bit his lip losing colour and Doc warned him, “Get a grip on yourself Joe. It’s unfortunate but Carole is strong and she’s a fighter. It’s a pity Adam could have done with the extra weeks to build up his own strength, I know what a state he gets into and I’d hoped for his sake that it would be over fast. He’s going to need your help Joe. Where’s Hoss?”
“Far side of Tahoe. He’ll be on his way back but it’s a day’s ride even now with the road.”
“Adam is going to need you maybe more than he ever has, so get a hold on yourself.” Doc ordered sternly.
Joe knew that Paul was right and he stayed by the buggy taking a few minutes to get back in control, determined to help his brother and Carole. As they rode in Kam Su came out to take care of the horses and Joe followed Doc upstairs where Adam opened the bedroom door, he’d seen them from the window. He was very solemn and already looked drawn but he was reasonably calm. “Sorry to drag you out so early Doc, unpredictable babies.”
To Joe his brother didn’t sound at all like himself, almost unnaturally controlled and as Adam moved aside to let Doc go in Joe touched his brother’s arm, feeling the cold and the tension “Are you alright Adam?”
Adam didn’t even notice the question; moving back to Carole and Joe followed him in. Carole relaxed seeing both Doc and Joe, between them they would look after her and help Adam but she frowned as she realised that Joe was on his own. “Where’s Nita?”
“Following on, I rode ahead. Dan’s escorting her home, she’ll be back soon. You just take it easy Carole.” Joe managed to smile at her, hiding his fears.
Doc very gently examined her and meeting Sue’s eye he could only nod in agreement, it was a breech birth. He thought there was just a chance that they could turn the baby but he didn’t want to upset Adam. He straightened up and beckoned Sue over to the window, briefly telling her what he intended trying. Sue wasn’t surprised, she had often assisted before and knew exactly what to do. It would simplify matters if they could persuade the baby to turn but she knew that it was a long shot. She murmured “Adam?”
“I’ll try to get Joe to take him out, pity this is happening.” Doc turned to meet the brothers’ anxious gaze. “Joe why don’t you take Adam downstairs, both of you look as though you could do with a drink. Sue and I will try to make Carole a bit more comfortable.” He tried to keep his voice light and Joe moved closer to his brother, “Sensible Adam, just for a few minutes.”
Carole added her own persuasions, she would be fine but Adam seemed oblivious of both her and Joe, he knew Doc too well and he could see that something was wrong, at least potentially. Doc couldn’t meet his gaze and looked down and Adam said “What is it Doc? There’s something you aren’t telling me.”
The guilty look Doc and Sue exchanged was testimony to the accuracy of Adam’s pronouncement and Joe gripped his brother’s arm, ready to support him if necessary. For the moment all it meant to Adam was that both Joe and Sue knew what was going on and he, the most directly involved, didn’t. Almost angrily he demanded, “Tell me.”
Doc smiled, “Just take it easy Adam. It’s not unusual with premature babies, it hasn’t moved into the correct position and at the moment it’s in a breech position, trying to come feet first instead of head first, or more precisely bottom first.”
Adam had come across breech births in animals and had lost mares and foals to them, now hearing that his own precious wife was affected, he swayed as though someone had hit him. Joe tried to steady him but his brother turned to Carole and was doing his best to reassure her, holding her hand and trying to smile, unable to find words.
Doc smiled “Take it easy both of you. I want to try and turn the baby now. Sometimes it works, in which case there’ll be no problem. If I can’t then I’m afraid we’re in for rather a long wait for your baby’s arrival.” Doc had moved closer to Carole and patted her hand, “Still it’s almost certainly going to be quicker than the twins.”
“I’ll be fine.” Carole insisted with a confidence she was far from feeling. “I think I heard somewhere that breech births were easier on the baby, is that true?”
“Could be.” Doc agreed, “They tend to be pretty babies, their heads don’t get so squashed, opening the way.”
Carole managed a smile “Try not to worry darling, we are both going to be fine.”
Adam swallowed hard “Of course you are my sweet.”
Doc said “Adam you go down with Joe. Have a drink while we try our luck at turning your child.”
“I’m staying.”
“There’s nothing you can do Adam so go downstairs with Joe.”
“I’m not leaving.” Adam insisted and he looked so stubborn that Joe shrugged “He won’t go Doc.”
Doc frowned knowing how rough it looked and that it would hurt Adam a lot more than it did Carole or the child but he didn’t dare waste time arguing any further. The longer he left it the less chance he had and he said brusquely “Alright but move out of the way both of you, right up to the head of the bed. Sue can give me any help I needs, she knows what to do.”
Joe saw the anxious looks Sue was giving his brother and he moved to block Adam’s view as much as he could but Adam wouldn’t have it and he pushed Joe back, ignoring the pain in his injured hand. He held his wife’s hand as Doc tried to explain what he intended doing. Doc emphasized that rough as it looked he wouldn’t injure the child or Carole but he had to get through the thick muscles of the womb if he was to achieve anything. Doc was aiming his comments more at Adam, even than Carole but Carole trusted implicitly in the older man and she smiled “Go ahead Doc.”
Carole knew that Joe was there to look after her husband if necessary and she did her best to relax and let Doc do as he wanted. Paul waited until the next pain eased its grips and then he moved with Sue’s help. Joe knew better than to try and get in Adam’s way again but he could only pray wordlessly for his brother and his sister-in-law. Carole had shut her eyes, not really in pain but scared for her child as the Doc seemed to bang the womb. Adam watched in growing horror and lost every vestige of colour, only the trust that he had in Doc kept him still; that and Sue’s acceptance of what was happening. Doc tried twice and then sat back as Carole started another pain, he left Joe to look after his brother and accepted Sue back in her role of nurse, “It moved fractionally, we’ll give it another try after this one.”
Sue nodded but she knew that these things either went fast or they tended not to go at all and the baby was showing no real sign of moving. Joe could see her doubts but there was noway he could really help Adam, not even able to comfort his brother by putting his arm round him, just holding his arm gently to let Adam know that he was there.
Doc said “One more try Carole, just relax there’s a good girl.” Carole did her very best to comply with that request and Doc put his best efforts into turning it but the baby wouldn’t cooperate. He sat back and shook his head, “Obstinate I think it’s too far down. I’m sorry Carole.”
Carole smiled, mainly for her husband, “You ought to be used to this family! She wants to come the easiest way. I’m strong and as she’s so little maybe it’s for the best.”
Doc warned her, “It’s going to be a long haul Carole, she probably won’t arrive until tomorrow.”
Carole was very aware of how pale Adam was and tried to ease him, “You see its catching I’ve even got you talking about her rather than it. So she’ll be a day less early. I’ve been there before, can’t say I enjoy it but I can cope.”
“Of course you can and I’ll stay, my wife knows where to find me if there’s an emergency.”
Carole gripped Adam’s hand tighter, “Darling nothing is going to happen for a long time. I’m fine and I don’t need you, not now, maybe later I will.”
Adam bit his lip ensuring that his voice was under control before asking “What do you mean darling?”
“Go down with Joe, have a drink and a meal. You’re not fit yet. I’ll be fine I promise. Sue can look after me and you need to relax and try not to worry.”
Adam hated to leave her but he knew he was only worrying her and so slowly he got to his feet, “I’ll be back in half an hour.”
“You promise to have something to eat?”
Adam nodded and Joe met Carole’s eye and mutely promised to look after his brother for her. Adam walked out but once on the landing he was reduced to leaning on Joe, feeling so weak all of a sudden. Joe didn’t comment just helping Adam down to his study and pouring him a large brandy. Then Joe headed into the kitchen to get Kan Su to get something light for Adam. Hop Sing was there too helping with the three children and Joe filled the two anxious men in on what was happening. He spent a couple of minutes with the three children and then went back to his brother.
Adam had made no attempt to drink the brandy and when Joe tried to persuade him that it would help Adam pushed it decisively away, “No it’ll go straight to my head and I can’t help Carole if I’m drunk.”
Joe couldn’t argue that and just fetched coffee instead, he’d just taken it into Adam hoping it would warm his brother up a little when he saw Nita’s buggy come in. He went out to meet her, not really surprised to see Dan as well. Very briefly he explained that it was likely to be a long slow labour. Dan wouldn’t come in, they didn’t need outsiders, he’d hear from Doc as soon as he came back to town and meantime he would be praying for them both. Joe thanked him for bringing Nita home and for a moment he held her close before going back to Adam.
Nita didn’t know very much about childbirth and she couldn’t help Carole. Adam with Doc and Sue would do all that could be done, but if it was going to be an awkward labour it wasn’t the best place for the children. It wouldn’t help either Adam or Carole if the children got upset and she wondered if it would be easier if she took the three children back to her own house until it was over. She followed Joe into the study, horrified at how ill Adam looked again but she bit back the anxious words that wouldn’t help anyone and managed to smile “Take it easy Adam, I’m sure Carole and the baby will be fine.”
Adam nodded unable to find words and Nita went on, “If it’s all right with you Adam I thought the twins and Marie might find it exciting to come and stay with me for a day or two. Keep them out of the way and stop them bothering you.”
Adam was very touched at her thought and it was certainly better for the children, “Please Nita. I’m sure they’d love it, be one less thing to worry about.”
“I’ll collect a few things for them. The twins can help me make up beds; I expect they’ll enjoy that.”
“I know they will.” Adam watched her go out and then buried his face on his arm, feeling so very weak and sick. Joe left him alone for a moment and catching Nita up he held her close “Bless you darling.”
“Seemed the most useful thing I could do. Any time you want me you only have to send Hop Sing or Kam Su over and they can look after the kids. I’ll be praying for them and you’ll keep me up to date with all the news, won’t you?” Alone with Joe Nita couldn’t hide her anxiety, almost more for Adam than for Carole.
Joe kissed her, “Of course I will. Why don’t you pop in and see Carole, tell her what you’re doing, it should ease her mind on one thing. Tell her I’ll get Adam to eat and relax a bit.”
“He looks so ill.”
“Bad timing. I’d hoped he would have another few weeks to rebuild his strength but he’ll make out, don’t worry.”
Nita was determined not to make it any worse for Joe either and she forced herself to sound cheerful. “They will all be fine and Adam will soon have another daughter.” Then she headed upstairs to see Carole. At least Carole didn’t look too bad and she smiled as she saw Nita and called her over to the bed. Nita sat down “Joe’s persuading Adam to eat; he’ll look after your husband. I thought I’d take the children over to my house to stay for a day or two.”
“Thanks Nita far better for them to be out of this house.”
“I’ll leave Joe here, I think Adam needs his brother and Hoss is on his way back. But as soon as you have produced that daughter I’ll be first in the queue to inspect her.” Nita said lightly and then kissing her sister-in-law’s cheek “Good luck Carole.”
Carole watched Nita go out and then glanced over at Sue before grinning at doc, “I’m very lucky in my sisters aren’t I?”
“You certainly are young lady and your husband is lucky in his brothers, so you leave him to them and try to take it easy.”
“The baby?”
“More risk than a full term one but it’s been kicking healthily and still is and it’s a Cartwright, an obstinate fighter, so there’s an excellent chance.”
Carole smiled “You’ve gone back to it. She’s a fighter and so am I.”
Downstairs Joe had taken a tray into his brother with some broth and an omelette. Adam wasn’t hungry and pushed the broth away. Even the omelette felt as though he was chewing on rubber, a constriction in his throat making swallowing near impossible. He managed about half and then put his fork down. Joe came over and perched on the desk, “That wouldn’t keep a fly alive brother. At least finish it.”
“I can’t Joe, just not hungry.”
“You can simply because you love her. Look Adam I know how you feel I’ve been there and I know you. Before when she’s been ill you have managed without food, this time you can’t, you’ve no reserves of strength at the moment.”
Adam tried to force down another mouthful but then he got up and poured more coffee. He looked so despairing that for a minute Joe didn’t know what to do, wishing that his father and Hoss were there. “Adam you have got to relax, you’re only going to worry Carole if you go back to her like this.”
“I….” Adam broke off, unable to put his fears into words and Joe went over to him, gripping his brother’s arms and forcing Adam to look at him. “Adam you must calm down. Of course there’s a risk, noone denies it, a breech birth doesn’t help and the baby is premature and at risk, but both of them stand a very much better chance than Carole and David did on that ship or you did in the cave-in or that fire. God gave you the strength to support Carole after the fire when the baby couldn’t have lived, why should he desert them now?”
Adam pulled away to stare up at the painting of the lake, “He took Marie. I said once that life wasn’t fair and God didn’t make things easy in exchange for our faith. He took your wife and child Joe, deserted them, why shouldn’t he desert mine?”
Joe was shaken by the depth of Adam’s fear but he knew it was shock and weakness speaking, just unsure how his brother was going to manage in the long hours ahead. He forced himself to relax, he had to help Adam. “God didn’t desert Marie. You saw her Adam she died so at peace, she knew he was there. She told you then that Carole was strong and healthy and would give you a healthy child. Marie was right then and it’s still true.”
Adam bit his lip, “She hadn’t lived through this last year then.” Adam shut his eyes, the memories of the autumn so very clear, not wanting even Joe to see the panic. Joe knew what he was thinking but it did no good to dwell on the past and somehow he had to get Adam to pull himself together for his own sake as much as for Carole. Joe let a touch of anger into his voice as he said “Worrying about the past is hardly going to help Carole now, neither is letting yourself go. You can’t help her when you’re on the verge of collapse.”
Adam looked up at the anger he heard and Joe went on more gently “I know you’re not fit and I know this was a shock. I wish I’d been here but I am now and so is Doc. Hoss on his way. Trust Carole, she’s strong and come and drink this broth for her sake.”
Adam didn’t want to, but Joe was right it was the only way he could help for now and he forced it down and then drank half the brandy Joe had poured earlier, before going out to get a glass of milk. He’d won some measure of control over this fears and regained a little colour. As he went out two excitable boys threw themselves at him to tell him that they were going to stay with Auntie Nita and she was going to let them make their own beds. Marie toddled over “Me too, me too.”
Adam relaxed slightly listening to their prattle and Nita met Joe’s eye and silently congratulated him before taking the three off to her own home. After two glasses of milk Adam had himself firmly under control and went back to rejoin Carole. She was relieved to see him looking better but asked Joe to stay, just in case his brother needed him later. The pains were frequent but ineffective and Carole was happy to rest and talk quietly to Adam, doing her best to reassure him that she was fine, able for the moment to hide the worst of her pain. Joe, Sue and Doc talked quietly over by the window. As it grew dark Carole insisted Adam go and have some dinner and Sue promised to stay with Carole, she’d eat when the brothers returned.
Adam kissed his wife and went downstairs without argument but he remembered what Joe had said earlier and he forced himself to eat the chicken casserole that Kam Su put in front of him. He didn’t taste anything and it seemed to settle like a hard lump on his chest but Joe was right he was too weak to miss meals. Then wordlessly he went back up. Joe collected a tray of coffee and followed him up to let Doc and Sue eat, hoping that his big brother would be back soon to help him. Adam wasn’t really aware of Joe, very tired and in pain he had a brittle strength he was sure would carry him through and he did all he could to support Carole. Slowly as the hours of pain passed she was weakening, her strength already sapped by worry and the last weeks of her pregnancy not so easy as before. She could no longer hide her pain and forgetting just how weak her husband was, she relied on him as she always had, holding his hands between pains, grabbing at the knotted towels as the pains hit her, trusting him to rub her back, his voice the only reality, the only reassurance that she and the baby were alright.
Sue was surprised to see that the more Carole relied on Adam the calmer he became but it came as no surprise to Joe or Doc, both well used to him. The only thing they weren’t sure of was how long his strength would hold out. When Doc came back to the window having checked Carole’s progress Joe asked anxiously “How long?”
Doc was solemn “It could well be twenty-four hours yet Joe. She’s bearing up well, pulse and temperature up very slightly but not too bad.”
Joe stared out of the window in horror and it was Sue who put his question into words “And Adam?”
“We won’t get him to rest unless he collapses so we can only wait and see.” Doc gripped Joe’s shoulder “If he should collapse I doubt he’ll do any real harm, he’ll sleep it off and you and Hoss will be here to tend Carole in his stead.”
“Do you think he will?” Joe murmured.
Doc glanced round at the drawn figure by her bed “It must be at least likely. You know he’s not up to this sort of strain and you know too that he’s always taken it harder than most.”
Joe wouldn’t answer but a few minutes later, he gave a sigh of relief, “It’s Hoss.” He’d got to his feet to go and meet his brother and then realising Sue was there he hesitated, but she loved all of them and knowing how worried Joe was for Adam and Carole, knew he needed her husband more than she did. “Go on Joe, I’ll see him in a minute.”
Joe kissed her seeing the understanding on her face and ran down to greet his brother who looked very worried. Hoss had been worried all the way back but it intensified as he took in the expression on Joe’s face. Joe led the way into the study and poured out two brandies, handing one to Hoss. Hoss sighed heavily, “Okay what’s going on?”
“The baby.”
“Yeah well I know that much little brother. I’d sorta hoped by now it would have arrived, still Carole is usually slow….”
“It’s a breech birth Hoss, she’s tiring now but Doc says it could be twenty four hours yet and the baby is going to be so very premature.”
Hoss drained the brandy and poured another “How is she?”
“Holding up well although she’s tiring can’t hide her pain now, but she’s still strong.”
“And Adam?”
“I was in town it wasn’t even urgent but….”
“Noone expected it yet Little Joe; don’t help none to go blaming yourself for not having second sight. How is he?”
“He was on the verge of collapse at lunchtime but he’s got more control as Carole has weakened. He looks ghastly and Doc obviously expects him to collapse but I doubt it, not yet. How long he can keep up I don’t know.”
“Has he eaten anything?”
Joe nodded “I had a job to make him at lunchtime but this evening he just ate what was put in front of him, although I doubt if he knew what it was.”
“Don’t matter still gives him the strength he needs. Where’s Sue?”
“Up with them and Doc. Carole wants us there for Adam’s sake I think.”
“Come on then little brother let’s get back to him.” Hoss led the way upstairs and Sue ran to him as he appeared and kissed him but when he would have taken her in his arms she pulled away “I’m fine. Hoss patted her arm gently and went over to his brother and Carole. The pain eased and she smiled as she realised Hoss was back, he’d saved Marie for her and Carole loved and trusted the big man. She smiled at him, glad he was there and it was very obvious how she felt. Hoss said lightly “Well there hasn’t been one of your offspring arrived without costing us a night’s sleep, see they are determined to keep the record.”
Carole just gripped his hand and as the next pain came the big man automatically rubbed her back firmly to ease it, smiling at his brother who hadn’t spoken at all yet, not even sure if Adam had taken in his presence. In that he did Adam an injustice, Adam was very glad that Hoss was back, as always he was leaning heavily on his brothers, but relaxed fractionally just because Hoss was there he couldn’t seem to find any words. As the pain eased Carole looked from Hoss to her husband and to Hoss at least the message was clear and he moved round the bed to his brother. He gently stroked Adam’s hair holding his brother’s head against him, “Just take it easy brother, everything is going to be fine.” Hoss smiled at Carole “Don’t you worry about anything, Joe and I are here and we can cope.” He looked over at Sue and asked for two cups of coffee and ignoring Adam’s protest that he didn’t want ordered his brother to get it down him.
Only when Adam had drunk the coffee did Hoss move away from him as Adam seemingly better for now murmured that he was glad Hoss was back. Hoss was puzzled by Nita’s absence and Joe told him that she’d taken the children home. Hoss suggested sending Kam Su over so that Nita could join them, sure she wasn’t sleeping but Joe shook his head he had already suggested that but Nita wouldn’t hear of it. She had promised to be there and the children couldn’t wake and find that she wasn’t, maybe restless with odd things happening.
Hoss tried suggesting that Joe go and spend an hour with his wife, she was alone and pregnant, there was nothing Joe could do here. Joe shook his head again “No Hoss this is the way she wants it. She loves Adam and Carole and she thinks I might be more help here. I’ve promised to keep her informed and in an hour I’ll go and tell her the news, try to get her to rest but I shan’t stay. I couldn’t do that to her.” There was pride in his voice and Hoss could understand his great pride in the girl brought up to consider only herself, who had learnt so fast to hold onto her love by giving him his freedom and to put herself last. Hoss smiled at his little brother “She’s quite a girl, Nita.” Joe knowing his brother understood and agreed with his pride in his lovely wife, grinned more naturally than he had all day.
At first Hoss’ arrival seemed to give them all renewed strength but that couldn’t last and as the hours dragged on the tension in the room grew. Sue had finally given in and gone to lie down, knowing that there was nothing she could do at the moment and she was only worrying Hoss. However when Hoss looked in half an hour later she was still awake, unable to settle, the baby aggravated by her tension very active. Hoss stayed with her for a while but then she sent him back to Adam promising to try and rest. Joe had been home twice but Nita was no more successful in sleeping, very worried and seeing the fears that Joe couldn’t hide for her as well as his brother and Carole.
Of them all Adam remained the calmest, too aware of his own weakness to waste his strength in useless panic. He had himself well under control every fibre of his being concentrated on Carole and their child, reacting to her every move and breath, doing what he could to support her, ease her pain, conserve her strength for when she would need it.
Unable to do anything yet Doc had dozed off in the corner and although Joe and Hoss stayed close by there was nothing they could do either. Adam seemed barely aware of their presence, although he missed them when either went out. Occasionally they got fresh coffee but Adam didn’t want and neither would risk breaking his precarious balance by forcing him. He looked drawn and ill but as Hoss commented quietly “At least he’s no worse than when I came home. How much longer?”
“God only knows Hoss, she hasn’t even reached the second stage yet and she’s already weakening.” Joe looked so despairing that Hoss put his arm round his little brother “Easy Joe. Carole’s strong don’t you start giving up on her, that won’t help anyone.”
By dawn the pains were much worse and Carole very much weaker and scared for her precious child was only really aware of pain. She couldn’t help the cries and moans forgetting even how ill her husband had been. Joe couldn’t help remembering Marie and he was very nearly as drawn as his brother as he feared a similar outcome, merged with a living nightmare there was fear for Nita. Eventually Hoss decided that Joe would be collapsing if he didn’t get his little brother out for a bit. When Sue came back he insisted that she take Joe home to his wife for some breakfast. Joe didn’t want to go but Hoss forced his brother to look at him “You ain’t gonna help anyone if you’re on the verge of collapse. Get some fresh air and a grip on yourself and then go home see Nita and get some food. We ain’t gonna lose any of them Joe, get a hold. You’ve seen Pa, Adam and Carole, even me worse than this and we’ve recovered fine.”
Joe went to speak but Hoss grinned “Go on little brother I do understand but you need a break just for a little while.” Joe knew he was right and went downstairs, giving himself a few minutes to relax before going home. Even so he looked drawn and tired as he walked in and Nita put Marie down and ran over to him, “Joe are you all right? What’s happening?”
“No real change yet but she’s weaker and Adam’s so scared that’s he’s losing her.” Joe held her very close, at least his lovely blonde was fit and healthy. “There’s nothing we can do I’m not even sure he’s aware of us and I know Carole isn’t. Hoss made me come home just for some breakfast but I don’t really want anything.”
Nita saw the fear and the memories, even when Adam had been so ill or his father, she’d never seen her husband so close to hell. She didn’t need any explanations, she had always known how much Joe had loved his Marie. She kissed him and then said “You must eat darling. Come into the study so you don’t upset the children.”
Joe went in and slumped down at his desk, seeing Marie, her dead baby and the pathetic deformed daughter that he’d helped Adam bury once before. He was so scared both for Carole and the child knowing just how hard his brother would take it and loving Carole in her own right.
Nita fetched food and leaving Pak Tsien with the children she shut the door “You won’t be able to help Adam unless you calm down.”
“That’s what Hoss said.” Joe sighed “I’m sorry darling, they have already lost one child and ….” he sighed heavily.
“You lost a wife and a child but you survived. Adam would too but he won’t have to Carole is strong she’ll be fine and they have three fine children.”
Joe touched the bulge of her stomach, “Not a child, this is my first child.”
Nita looked puzzled and Joe said “Marie’s child wasn’t mine, she conceived just before I met her, a gambler she had been living with. He died the day I met her and she was thrown out of town. They weren’t married formally but for Marie it was as though they were. I gave her a lift to Virginia City and I think I fell in love with her then and there.”
“I didn’t know.”
“It wasn’t important. I swore to her I’d treat her child as my own. Adam and Pa knew and after she died they told Hoss and Carole. At first it hurt but then I only cared that she should be all right and when she died, it was almost a comfort, the die was cast before I met her. Your baby is the first I’ve ever fathered and it was by choice. I’ve made you face….”
Nita put her arms round him, so glad he’d told her about Marie’s baby, he was a very remarkable man. “Darling we are going to be fine and I want children just as much as you do, maybe more.”
Just her presence calmed Joe and he forced himself to eat, at least feeling warmer for the food he looked better, a little colour back in his face. He kissed Nita unable to find the words to thank her and promising to come back or send news as soon as anything happened, he returned to his brother.
Hoss had had trays sent up and once he’d eaten he had tried to persuade Adam to do so. Adam did try but the food made him feel sick and he pushed it away, although under pressure from his brother he did drink some milk. There was little more that Hoss could do, he knew that there was noway his brother would leave Carole and although he looked on the verge of collapse, he had done so all night. Hoss could feel the cold in Adam’s body despite the warm day and he fetched a warm jersey for Adam. Adam was glad of the warmth but he wasn’t really aware of his own bodily discomforts, feeling every breath and pain that moved his wife. He would have willingly taken the pain on himself if only he could.
Adam looked up as Joe came back in, glad to see his brother was looking better and then as Carole moaned he turned back to his wife. Carole wasn’t really aware of anything but the pains racking her body and the one thing she could hang onto was her husband’s presence, his deep brown voice. She was close to delirium and sometimes the pains she felt now merged with the pain she remembered, inflicted by the two animals who had kidnapped her. She was muttering as she drifted back into the hell she’d known then and Adam picked up enough words to know what she was dreaming. His brothers wouldn’t have believed he could have looked any paler but without even much of a tan to hide his pallor, after being stuck inside, Adam went chalk white, a grey-blue tinge to his lips. Hoss and Joe moved closer to him instinctively. Hoss had never seen the expression now on his brother’s face. He’d known him in agony but never had he shown such pain, the mental anguish of realising his beloved wife was reliving her hours of torment. Joe had seen it just once when he’d had to hold his brother still and force him to listen. Even as his brothers moved to him Adam lent over Carole and holding her shoulders, he held her still and talked to her, the only way he had to bring her back from the nightmare. He wasn’t making much sense as he assured her that she was home and safe, that he loved her and that she and their precious child were going to be fine.
Doc was getting seriously worried about Carole, the premature baby was obviously at risk but he’d hoped she would stand even a breech birth quite well. He’d seen her, like her husband, survive when he’d expected her to die, after her miscarriage, and she has stood up well to the even longer ordeal of the twin’s birth. This time she was weakening very much faster, the toll of the last year showing clearly and there was nothing he could do to help yet.
Slowly Adam managed to recall Carole’s wandering wits and he wiped her face and gently moistened her lips, “That’s my girl, easy now you’re doing fine, won’t be too long now.” Adam kissed her forehead and then sat back as another pain caught her.
It was an hour later that the waters broke and Carole screamed as the urge to push hit her but Adam didn’t even seem aware of the sound. He was staring as though mesmerised by the waters as they soaked into the thick towels. They were well stained with blood and Adam was too scared to ask what it meant. Joe remembering the fatal haemorrhage which had taken his wife, swayed as though he’d been hit. Hoss put an arm round his little brother to support him and looked at Doc horrified “What’s it mean?”
Doc did his best to reassure them although he couldn’t be sure “Probably nothing, most likely the placenta is breaking away from the wall of the womb, the afterbirth. Could be the reason for the baby coming so early. Nothing to worry about.”
Adam heard the words but his bemused brain couldn’t make sense of them and Sue went and poured out a brandy and expertly forced him to drink it. The spirit helped a little and Adam turned back to Carole, whatever was happening while she breathed he had to try and help. Carole felt the urge to push but she was too weak to be very effective and she screamed and writhed as the baby seemed to split her body in two. Adam oblivious of the pain from his hand and the unused muscles in his back struggled to hold her still conserve her waning strength and he was grateful as Hoss moved to the bed opposite him and held her quiet doing his best to reassure both of the people he loved. Joe spent a minute to send word to Nita and then concentrated on wiping her face, leaving Doc and Sue to support Carole’s legs. Doc was ready with the forceps to help just as soon as the baby was down far enough, at least with a breech birth he could move earlier without risking the child.
It seemed forever to the brothers but eventually Doc was able to move and deftly removed a tiny baby. Unlike the other three this one didn’t move or cry and Adam, for the first time in hours, was almost oblivious of Carole, who was lying still not even conscious enough to know what was happening. Adam stared at the Doc who was working over the tiny mite and his brothers could see his growing conviction that all the pain and risk had been for a still born child. Adam couldn’t ask, couldn’t even find his voice and only Hoss opposite him could read his lips as he murmured noiselessly, “Never again, never again.”
At first Doc feared that the baby wouldn’t live but just as he began to despair of getting any reaction there was a convulsive jerk and she started breathing and, a minute later, a low cry. It wasn’t the healthy yells of the twins or Marie, but at least it denoted life and Hoss asked “A girl or a boy Doc?”
“A girl. Carole was right again. She’s very tiny about three pounds I’d guess but she’s breathing now.” He beckoned Sue over and handed her the baby, she knew better than any of them what to do. Sue wrapped her up warmly and then brought the tiny shrivelled red baby to show her father. Adam stared at her, she was even smaller than Marie’s premature baby and that had only lived for an hour or two. He touched the baby’s forehead so very gently and for the first time in hours he could pray, pray for his daughter’s survival. He looked at Doc, who had come back to Carole. “Is she perfect?”
“Yes Adam quite perfect, just so very small, she’ll be at risk for several weeks, but she has a chance.”
“Carole?”
Doc didn’t answer but Carole moaned again as the afterbirth began to come away, all broken, in many small pieces. Doc cleaned up as best he could and put thick towels under her, “It’s a miracle she didn’t miscarry when she threatened too. Miracle that baby is still alive.”
Adam repeated his question, “Carole?” His wife virtually unconscious lay very still now, not aware of him or her child, so weak, worse than Marie had been directly after the birth and she had died. Doc worked hard stemming the flow of blood where he could, it was at least easing off somewhat, although Carole was still haemorrhaging. He couldn’t lie to Adam, he’d known him too long, even though he knew how weak the younger man still was. Doc straightened up and went over to the window and for the first time in hours Adam got to his feet, so stiff and weak he needed Joe’s proffered support. Hoss left Sue to tend Carole too for a moment and joined his brothers. Joe met his eye, sharing their unspoken fear but although Adam needed Joe’s support he was oblivious of his brothers, concentrating on Doc.
Doc knew there was no easy way to say it and he gripped Adam’s arms, at least his brothers were there if he collapsed. “I don’t know Adam, no guarantees for either Carole or the baby. It’s up to their own strength and to God. There’s nothing more I can do, Carole is still bleeding, it’s easing off and it may seal over of its own accord. If it does she has a chance. It’s not like Marie, a massive haemorrhage, there is a chance. I don’t know how good but at least as good and probably better than after her miscarriage. The baby is very small and so vulnerable, I just don’t know.”
Adam searched the Doc’s face, seeing just how slim Doc feared those chances were and for a minute he closed his eyes feeling weak and ill but he couldn’t give up. Carole was his wife, a apart of him and that tiny red mite was his daughter, flesh of his flesh, his own blood. To Doc’s surprise Adam pulled away from Joe, straightened his shoulders and began issuing orders. “Joe I want a pipette like before and some milk, boil it first. Hoss I need some meat broth for Carole and I guess some stew or something.” Adam moved back to the chair by his wife and wiped her face so very gently and then he turned to Sue. “I’ll take my daughter now Sue. Could you find a supply of blankets, diapers, nightgowns. I’ll need then here.”
Sue passed the tiny baby to Adam, who pulled back the blanket and studied her face as though determined never to forget it.
Joe and Hoss had both gone out on their errands without argument, but Doc and Sue stood watching Adam amazed, not knowing where he was finding the strength. It wasn’t until Hoss came back that they moved. Doc said quietly “There’s nothing more I can do Hoss. It’s in God’s hands and maybe Adam’s. I must get back to town.”
“We know that Doc, you’ve done a lot.”
Doc went over to Adam. “I have to get back to town Adam but I’ll drop by tomorrow, you must try and get some rest.”
“Thank you for all you’ve done.” Adam glanced up but he soon forgot Doc concentrating on spooning a little broth into his wife, holding the child close to him.
Sue had gone into Hoss’ arms, hardly able to believe Adam was still on his feet let along thinking clearly. She felt fit to drop herself and she’d had at least some rest overnight. Hoss talked to her quietly for a few minutes and then insisted that she lie down and rest for an hour or so as she couldn’t face food.
Downstairs Joe had ordered milk and water, half and half, to be slightly sweetened and boiled. Then as Doc came down Joe stopped him “Just what are their chances?”
Doc frowned “I can only guess Joe.”
“Then guess.”
“Maybe fifty-fifty for Carole.” Doc hesitated, “Only that because I know how strong she is and the baby maybe one in ten.”
Joe had known anyway from the look in Doc’s eye but he swallowed hard “Adam?”
“Sooner or later it’s going to catch up on him, just make sure that either you or Hoss is around when it does. He has three children and his family, he’ll survive.” It was about the best Doc could promise and Joe felt the tears stinging his eyelids but that wouldn’t help anyone and he blinked them away angrily. “Did Adam ask for the Reverend?”
“No, do you want me to get him to come out?”
“Please. I think Adam will want him but tell him to go to my house first in case I’m wrong. I’m guessing he’ll want to christen the child just in case, there wasn’t time with Marie’s daughter.”
Doc sighed heavily, “There is a chance Joe, a lot more than Marie had.”
“I know Doc, You’ve done all you can and we’re grateful.”
“I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll pray for them.” As Joe let Doc out he saw his big brother coming down the stairs. Hoss looked worn out but he came over to his little brother, “You okay Joe?”
“Why not? It isn’t my wife, who’s fighting for her life.”
“You love Carole same as I do. Take it easy.”
“How can I Hoss? Doc says she has maybe a 50-50 chance as she’s so strong the child only 1in 10. I’ve sent for the vicar.”
“Adam has survived worse odds than that and so have you.”
“How much more can he take?”
“I don’t know little brother we can only stick around, try and help. You’d better go and see Nita, I’ll look after them for a while, not that there’s much anyone can do.”
Joe nodded but he couldn’t face food or even a drink, just needing his wife. Nita was scared by the expression on his face and Joe was quick to reassure her, “She’s had a baby girl, it’s over I guess.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s very weak, not really conscious and the baby is tiny. It’ll be several weeks before we can be sure if the baby will survive, a day or two before we can be sure about Carole.”
Nita stared at him speechless. She’d known that her husband was worried but had assumed that once the baby arrived Carole would be alright even if the baby died. She could see just how scared Joe was and she shivered, Joe held her close, “Easy my love, its a miracle the baby lives at all, something had gone wrong when she had that threatened miscarriage. There is a chance.”
“Adam?”
“In some strange way he seems stronger now that he knows the worst and he’s started the fight to save them. He was feeding Carole when Hoss came out. He’ll do his best to save the child too as he saved David.”
“But he’s still so weak.”
“I know but I also know that he has to try. He once called this child the fruit of Carole’s strength and he won’t let her die without a fight. All we can do is support him as best we can.”
Nita lent against Joe, glad of his strength but slowly she pulled herself together, she was fit and well and Joe was needed elsewhere. “I’m alright darling. Get Hop Sing to come over when he has time I’d like to see my niece.”
“Will you be alright n your own?”
“I’m not alone I have the children. Go on Joe, Adam may need you more than I do.”
Joe kissed her and headed back to his brother but as he crossed the yard he saw Jess ride in. Joe waited as Jess pulled up by him, scared it meant yet more trouble. Jess said “The west shore is all tidied up, wagons on their way back.” Then as he took in how drawn Joe was he asked “What’s happening Joe?”
“Carole’s had a very premature baby girl. Now we wait and see, she’s very weak and the baby is tiny, both at risk.”
“Adam?”
“Calm considering everything, fighting hard for them both but sooner or later he’ll collapse.”
“Is there anything I can do Joe?”
Joe knew how much his brother meant to Jess but there was little any of them could do. “Keep a check on messages for Hoss and me so we can stay with them. There’s little either of us can do.”
“Sure I’d rather be around.” Jess went over to put his horse in the stable, anxious to know what was happening.
Joe slipped back into the bedroom with the warmed milk and the pipette he’d made. Adam had managed to get Carole to drink some broth and with Sue’s help changed her into a clean nightdress and for now his wife was resting quietly. She had still not roused enough to even know that she had had a daughter. To Joe’s relief his brother was eating himself, forcing down stew, although each mouthful threatened nausea. As Joe came in Adam pushed his plate away and took the pipette, “Thanks Little Joe.” He drew up a little milk and very slowly drop by drop he forced it down the child’s throat, relying on his brother to have sterilised the pipette. Holding the baby as close to him as he could, trying to steady her erratic breathing. He had to go so very slowly or it threatened to stop her breathing. David had seemed small but this tiny baby was less than a quarter of his son’s size on the boat, but maybe his experience with David stood him in good stead. With infinite patience Adam persevered hour after hour, feeding the child and twice more he persuaded Carole to drink a little broth although she didn’t wake to full consciousness. Under Sue’s direction Hoss had stripped and remade the bed and Sue had changed the pads for Carole. She was still bleeding but Sue reassured Adam it was easing off. Adam didn’t seem to take in what she said but he was aware of his brothers and their wives taking care of things for him, leaving him free to concentrate on Carole and the baby. It wasn’t until Nita came in that he spoke “The twins, Marie are they alright?”
“Just fine Adam, Joe told them you’d agreed to let them stay another night. They’ve been as good as gold.”
“Bless you Nita.”
Nita came over and her heart seemed to stop as she realised just how very tiny the baby was and read in Adam’s eyes the clear knowledge of the odds against him. She didn’t know what to say, it didn’t seem possible the tiny baby could survive and swallowing hard she said the first thing that came into her mind, “Have you decided on a name?”
That simple question came closer to breaking through Adam’s strange shell than anything else had and his lip trembled as he looked down at Carole, praying he’d be able to discuss it with her as they had for all their other children. Joe moved closer and forgetting for a minute his brother’s injuries, he put his arm round Adam’s shoulders. Adam winced at the pain but he lent against Joe glad of his brother’s warmth, needing his support even at the expense of some pain. Slowly his trembling eased and still leaning against Joe he said softly “I must get her christened; there may not be time….”
Joe said “I asked Doc to get the Reverend to come out.”
Adam wasn’t surprised to find his brother in tune with his thoughts but for the first time in hours his expression softened slightly. “Thanks Joe. Sue, Nita will you act as godmothers?”
“Of course.” Nita said and Sue nodded her agreement. Adam looked from Hoss to Joe, not wanting to choose, not even able to think. Joe knew the impossibility of making decisions and he said “Jess is down in the study Adam.”
“Ask him for me Joe. Names, I must….” Adam rested his aching head on his hand “I could do with some coffee.”
Hoss came over behind them “Go on Joe, see Jess and get coffee.” Joe moved away and Hoss slipped in to support his brother as Adam rested his head back against his big brother, trying frantically to think of names. Hoss said, “Just choose one Adam, you can always add another later when you’ve had a chance to talk it over with Carole.”
Hoss felt his brother relax slightly and then Joe came back in with coffee. Joe had been into see Jess, who had at first looked disbelievingly as Joe said, “Adam would like you to act as godfather for his Daughter. We want to get her christened at once just in case.”
“You can’t have a hand as Godfather, he’s not thinking straight.”
“I thought you were his friend, not just a hand?”
“You know what your brother means to me Joe but you can’t approve, even if she dies, I mean ….”
“I approve.” Joe interrupted quietly, “I told him you were here. Jess please agree, he’s walking a tightrope trying to keep going and look after Carole and the baby. Its taking him all his time to choose a name, he doesn’t need any more decisions to make.”
“Your Pa?”
“You should know him by now Jess. You’re Adam’s friend just as Dan is and equally right to act as Godfather for one of his children. Please.”
Jess very touched by Adam’s request and perhaps even more by Joe’s endorsement of it, unsure how clearly Adam was thinking, nodded, “Tell Adam I’d be honoured.”
“Thanks Jess.” Joe went to fetch coffee, telling Kam Su to pop over and leave a message for the Vicar to come and see Adam as soon as he arrived and then he went back up. Adam was glad of the warmth of the coffee but he went back to feeding the baby, such a tiny scrap of humanity, he could only pray that she was a fighter, a true Cartwright in that, because she would never need it more than in these first hours of life. He tried to think of names Carole had mentioned liking and then he remembered one comment she’d made. He drained his coffee, “We’ll call her Anne. Hoss is right we can add a second name later.” He sounded more decisive than he had all day and although obviously very tired looked less likely to collapse than he had done, grateful that at least he could do something to help and Carole was holding on.
There was little enough Adam could do and after a few minutes Hoss beckoned the other three over, “We’ve got to start getting organized once the Vicar’s been, he shouldn’t be long now. It’s gonna be a long haul, at least I pray it is.”
Joe stared over at the bed where Adam was oblivious of them, his head bent over his daughter again. Hoss gripped his shoulder, “We all know how you feel Joe, hell we’re all scared, too many memories, but we’ve got to do what we can to help and at the minute we’re all whacked, that don’t help anyone. There are three children apart from them.” Hoss looked over at the bed, “Come on Joe, she’s holding on and Carole’s a fighter. She’s proved that before.”
“I couldn’t sleep, not yet.”
“Someone has to, to be fit for later, even if it means taking a drug and you know I hate that as much as you do.”
Sue added her voice to her husband’s, “Adam can’t keep going. I don’t know where he’s found the strength to get this far but it’s bound to take its toll eventually.”
Joe knew they were talking sense “All right look Hoss you and Sue have a meal, get some rest then you can relieve me and I’ll go home to Nita for some sleep. We’ll take care of the twins and Marie. Be best if you stay here, we may need your help Sue.”
She shrugged “Seems to me Adam knows more than anyone.”
“He saved David when noone gave him a chance but this time….” Joe felt quiet, knowing how much that had cost his brother and this time Adam was starting off weak and ill. It didn’t seem possible that Adam could succeed but he knew Adam would blame himself bitterly if he failed.
A few minutes later the Vicar knocked on the door and Joe slipped out to fetch Jess. Adam was very succinct, he just wanted his daughter baptised, in case. The vicar knew them all well and he could see the strain Adam was under and made no attempt to sympathise with him. The simple ceremony only took a couple of minutes by Carole’s bedside as Nita, Sue and Jess made the promises for the tiny child Anne Cartwright, Jess had been shocked by how ill Adam looked but his friend seemed well in control and he made no comment.
Carole appeared to be asleep but as the baby was named her eyes flickered open and she repeated Anne before slipping back into sleep, but her lips had curved into a smile, she liked the name. Adam stared at her, praying wordlessly for her and Hoss gripped his brother’s arm “She likes the name Adam.”
Joe added, “That smile is your best hope Adam if she can smile she can make it.”
Adam couldn’t find any words but for the first time his eyes filled with tears which he blinked angrily away. Joe had gone over to the window, remembering how Marie had died with a smile on his lips and hoped his brother wouldn’t. Hoss joined Joe knowing exactly what he was thinking, “You all right Joe?”
“Sure. Send up two trays and I’ll try and persuade him to eat.”
“You need food too Joe.”
“I know and I will. If only there was more that we could do.”
“Maybe later. He’ll have to rest.”
Joe nodded but he knew how difficult that was going to be or he thought he did. Adam didn’t argue when his brothers tried to persuade him to rest, he just didn’t seem to hear them. If they brought food he would eat a few mouthfuls before returning to his job, persuading the baby or Carole to eat. She still lay still, seemingly barely alive, but holding on and the bleeding had definitely eased according to Sue. Throughout the rest of that long day and even longer night Adam held his daughter and talked quietly to Carole, feeding both of them. Only once did he let Joe persuade him to hand over the baby while he had a wash and changed. Stiff and sore he needed Hoss’ help but felt a little better for it.
The baby was so frail, her breathing difficult and hesitant but she was fighting for life and Adam could only pray. He was beyond tiredness although his eyes felt sore and full of grit and he shut them occasionally to ease them but he had no urge to sleep. Hoss and Joe recognized that they weren’t getting anywhere but they couldn’t force Adam, even if they knew how. Sue and Nita were in some ways more worried than their husbands, both Hoss and Joe were used to Adam’s ability to keep going and until he was sure about Carole at least it was a waste of time arguing and would just make it harder for Adam. Without discussion they dropped the subject, just ensuring that he had food and the support of one or other of them throughout the long hours.
Mid-morning Doc returned as he’d promised and Joe, who had been attempting to organize the work while Hoss stayed with Adam, came out of the study to greet him. Joe had had a few hours sleep but he was still very tired and tense, his rest disturbed by nightmares, scared for his own wife. Doc asked “How are they?”
Joe could only shrug, “Holding on, maybe you can tell us.”
“You look exhausted Joe.”
“I think we all are, not easy to settle. Come on upstairs, Hoss and Sue are with them.” Joe led the way back to his brother. Adam wasn’t even aware of anyone coming in until Doc came right over to the bed. As his tired brain took in who was there Adam considered Doc with more interest than anything else had aroused in hours. “Thanks for coming back Paul.”
Doc smiled at him, Adam looked tired out but he was calm and further from collapse than he’d appeared two days earlier. “Let’s see how Carole is for a start.”
“She hasn’t really woken up but I’ve managed to get her to drink a little broth.” Adam bit his lip looking down at his wife, his fear for her so very clear, and Joe moved round close to his brother wanting so much to help but there was just no way. Adam didn’t even seem to notice him.
Doc with Sue’s help checked Carole carefully, she whimpered once as he checked how much blood she was still losing but didn’t really waken. Doc left Sue to wrap her up warmly again and went round to pull a chair up by Adam. The question was obvious in Adam’s eyes but he couldn’t put it into words. Doc was serious, they were old friends ad he couldn’t lie to Adam but he was too aware Adam wasn’t fit enough for the strain he was under, he had done well to stay on his feet this long. As he hesitated the fear grew in Adam and sensing it Joe said “Well Doc?”
“Easy all of you. She’s better than yesterday, the haemorrhage has sealed over and as long as she stays very quiet it will heal.”
Adam could hear the ‘but’ in Doc’s voice and he stared at Paul “Let’s have the rest of it.”
“She’s very weak Adam, her pulse is steadier than it was but still weak and slightly erratic. At least she’s not feverish. It’s still too early for any guarantees but she’s hung on this long and her chances are better now than they were yesterday.”
Adam swallowed hard but he couldn’t trust his voice and Hoss put it into words for him. “When will we know Doc?”
“I think if she makes it through tonight without any fever, her chances are excellent. Every hour she lies quiet she’s regaining some strength, improving her chances, especially if you’re managing to feed her.”
Adam’s voice was low and hoarse but he sounded confident, more than in her heart he felt. “She’ll make it, she’s too strong to give in.”
Paul smiled “Hold onto that Adam, she’s a very special lady. Let me have a look at the baby, what have you called her?”
“Anne.”
“Pretty.” Doc bent over the tiny baby as she lay on Adam’s lap, so very small and fragile, seemingly without the strength to kick or even cry, her breathing still erratic. He was frankly surprised that she had survived the night, but her chances were very slight even though she had lived thus far and it was no use buoying Adam up with false hopes. He let Adam wrap the baby up again and hold it close to him as he had all night and then he gripped Adam’s arm. Hoss and Joe exchanged glances, knowing Doc so well they knew it wasn’t good. Adam just waited and Doc sighed, “She’s very tiny Adam, smaller than even a six week premature baby, probably hasn’t been fed properly for the last month, since that threatened miscarriage. “It’s a miracle she was born alive, it’ll be another one if she survives.”
“What are you trying to say Doc?” Adam met his eye square demanding the truth.
Paul sighed but then said “You must be prepared to lose the baby; she only has the very slightest of chances. I’ve seen many babies better equipped than she is that haven’t made it and I don’t think I have ever seen one quite this tiny survive. You have done very well to keep her alive so long and you mustn’t blame yourself when the inevitable happens.” Doc had decided to be blunt, even though Adam wasn’t well but Adam seemed barely to hear him. He had bent his head down over his daughter again, cutting out the world. Hoss and Joe both lost colour and looked even more upset but Adam hadn’t reacted at all. Sue wasn’t surprised at Doc’s statement and she moved closer to Hoss seeing how upset he was. Doc gripped Adam’s arm a little tighter “Do you understand me Adam?”
“I understand.” Adam didn’t look up, this baby wasn’t a statistic she was his own daughter, a fighter he was already sure of that, she’d give him a chance to help her. He had been scared for a while that God would desert them but Doc called her live birth a miracle. Why should God bother to do that and then leave her now when his help was still needed? He couldn’t put his feelings into words, allow himself to see his family’s doubts, still trying to conserve his strength and having heard what he wanted he just cut them out.
Doc frowned but he wanted to examine Adam himself and he said gently “Let Sue have the baby for a minute Adam. I want to have a look at you.” He might at well not have spoken for all the reaction he got and he looked up at Joe hovering behind his brother, “Take the child Joe.”
Joe bent to do as he was told but Adam said brusquely, “No. I’m alright, leave me alone.”
Joe couldn’t defy his brother when Adam spoke in that tone but Hoss tried to persuade Adam to be sensible. Adam showed no sign of hearing his brother or Doc as failing to examine him, Doc tried to remind him that he wasn’t fit and that he must eat and rest or he wouldn’t be able to help Carole when she needed him. Doc persevered for several minutes before recognising that he was wasting his time. He got up, “Joe, Hoss can I have a word with you two.”
They disliked both leaving Adam at the same time, but Sue was there and they would only be downstairs so they followed Doc out and down to the study. Doc was used to making himself at home in all the Cartwright homes and he poured three brandies. “Has Adam had any rest since this started?”
Hoss shook his head, “No. Just once he let Joe take the baby for ten minutes while I helped him wash and change, otherwise he ain’t left them. We’ve tried Doc but I don’t reckon he even hears us.”
“Perfectly coherent and sensible one minute and then it’s as though he’s put up a wall, cut us off.” Doc sighed, “It can’t go on, you both know that don’t you? He’s nowhere near fit enough. God only knows how he has lasted this long without collapsing.”
Hoss met his little brother’s eye, reading the same thought. It was easy to say but not so easy to enforce. “I don’t know what we can do Doc, at least not until it’s settled. When he’s sure that Carole is gonna be okay, well then maybe ….”
“That may be too long and the baby may linger for two or three days yet.”
Joe turned away to the window, “Hasn’t she any chance Doc? You said maybe one in ten.”
“Well she’s alive so there’s always a chance Joseph but I think I was being rather optimistic. I’m sorry but you have to make Adam see that Carole is going to need him. She’s very weak and if she’s faced with the death of her child then …. She’ll need him as much as she ever has. Maybe he’ll rest for her sake if not his own.”
Joe shook his head, “He’ll just try to keep the baby alive for her sake. You know Adam Doc, he don’t know how to give in.”
Doc looked grim, “Then you two will have to force him.” He got out some tablets, “These will knock him out for four or five hours, if he won’t take them willingly, you’ll have to trick him.”
Joe turned at that and met Hoss’ eye, both of them hated the idea of doing that and Hoss said, “I don’t think we could Doc. If’s we drugged him behind his back and the baby died while he was asleep….” Hoss shook his head slowly.
Joe went over to his big brother and put an arm round his shoulders. “Hoss is right Doc, I think either of us could so most anything without alienating Adam, you know how close we are, but this is one thing he might never forgive us.”
Doc ordered “Sit down both of you.”
The brothers stared at him but as he repeated his order Hoss slipped into a chair and Joe perched on the arm. Doc hesitated a minute but it had to be said. “Look I know it’s been tough on both of you precisely because you’re close, but someone has to face facts. Ben isn’t here which leaves you two, Adam is not unreasonable, for a time maybe he will hate you but in time he will understand.”
Joe sighed “I’m not so sure Doc.”
“Even if he never understands would you rather have a live brother who hates you or one whose trust you fulfilled in one way, but failed in another, and you had to bury up at the Lake?”
Hoss sat up at that, staring at the Doc in consternation, “What are you saying Doc?”
“Very simple. Either Adam rests and soon or he risks not only driving himself into total collapse but maybe even killing himself.”
“I thought you couldn’t do that, that you collapse before you did real harm.”
“Usually Hoss but a few people, your brother amongst them, have a will power that transcends normal laws. He’d be dead by now if he didn’t. This time maybe it’s working against him. He has no right to be keeping going, you know as well as I do how badly he was hurt and how much the pain took out of him.”
Joe got up and poured himself another drink, “You think it’s a serious risk?”
“I do Joe and that could cost Carole her life too, to lose husband and child, leave those three children orphaned.” Doc looked out of the window at Marie and the twins playing with Pak Tsien in the yard. Joe came over and picked up the tablets. “Alright I just pray that he’ll forgive me if I have to use them.”
Doc stood up, “One each for you two would be worth while. Your brother needs your help. Do you want me to send word to your father?”
Hoss and Joe looked at each other uncertain, knowing Ben wasn’t fit either and yet he ought to know. Hoss finally shook his head, “No, at least not until we’re sure about Carole.”
Joe hesitated and Hoss said “Pa didn’t tell you when Adam was kidnapped, there was nothing you could do and he wouldn’t worry you while you were on your own in San Francisco. When it’s settled we’ll wire him but we still have a ranch to run and Adam’s barely aware of any of us. We can do all that’s possible.”
Joe nodded, his big brother was right. Doc promised to come out again in two days and if at any time they needed him to send word. He would make sure his wife knew exactly where he was at all times. Hoss thanked him and saw him out while Joe tossed the pills from hand to hand; Hoss came back in and took them from him. “If we use them it’ll be a joint decision Joe.”
“If? From what Doc said we have little choice.”
“Doc knows Adam pretty well after all these years but he’s our brother Joe. Sure he’s weak and scared but he’s eating and he can manage without sleep. I don’t believe he’s that bad yet.”
“He looked nearer collapse when I first came home from town.”
“Yeah. If we have to act we will but let’s give him a chance first. I’ll go back up, you go join Nita for a bit.”
Joe looked at the piles of papers awaiting attention on the desk but Hoss gave him a gentle shove, “You ain’t no more fit to make sense of that lot at the minute than young Mark. Try and relax Joe it’s still gonna be along haul.”
Joe recognized the sense of it and with Nita in his arms as they watched the children he was able to talk out his fears a little and began to relax slightly and make a reasonable lunch.
Hoss had rejoined his brother but Adam was oblivious of him concentrating again on forcing a little food into his daughter. Hoss took Sue over to the window seat and told her what Doc had said. Sue could understand Doc’s fears but to Hoss’ relief she didn’t really share them. She had seen Adam do the impossible and knew from Hoss’ stories that on other occasions he had done it too. She couldn’t believe that he’d kill himself and just maybe he’d pull of another miracle. He had saved David’s life and Anne had survived a lot longer already than Sue had expected. Hoss was comforted by her support and her promise to tell him if she thought it time that he and Joe acted. They had fallen quiet and were just sitting watching the trio by the bed when Adam looked up and for the first time since Doc had warned him about Anne he spoke, “Hoss I could do with some more coffee and food, both for Carole and me. Please.”
Sue slipped out of Hoss’ arms “I’ll go get.”
Hoss nodded and went over to the chair Doc had pulled up next to Adam, the concern for his brother very obvious on his expressive face. A faint smile flickered across Adam’s face and he gripped his brother’s hand “I’m alright Hoss, tired and worried of course, but alright.”
“You ought to rest Adam. You ain’t fit yet, not strong enough for all this.”
“I am resting, just sitting here, hardly strenuous.”
“Not the same you need to sleep.”
“I couldn’t, don’t even feel like it, I think I’ve gone past being tired.”
“Doc left some tablets, give you four or five hours sleep.”
“No.” Adam said decisively “I know he means well but I don’t need them and I can’t leave ….”
“He thinks you do, Carole’s gonna need you and if you don’t get some sleep you won’t be in a fit state to help her…..”
Adam smiled again and said very gently, “I know you mean well Hoss but Carole needs her daughter and at the moment I’m the only chance Anne has. I know Doc doesn’t think that she’ll live but she’s a Cartwright and she’s a fighter. God has brought her this far, he’ll help me.”
“I could do exactly what you are Adam, she’s my niece, just while you rest.”
“Maybe later Hoss but I don’t even feel tired at the minute. I’m her father and this may be the only chance I have to help her. I have to try.” Adam frowned at his brother, “I know you only want to help, you and Joe, the girls too and you’re worried about me but it has to be my decision Hoss. I am not in shock or delirious I can think for myself, so don’t try slipping drugs in on me.”
The expression on Hoss’ face was a give away that he had been considering doing exactly that and Adam pressed for his promise not to. Hoss frowned knowing he would have to break that promise if it seemed likely that Doc could be right but also knowing that if he didn’t give it Adam might not eat and torn in two he finally gave Adam his word. Having got it Adam relaxed a little and letting go of Hoss’ hand he tucked the baby up a little tighter and again tried to persuade her to eat.
When Sue came back up with a tray Adam covered his own food and with Hoss’ help propped Carole up a little on the pillows and managed to spoon a bowl of broth into her. She didn’t waken but Adam had had all too much experience of practical nursing and he was adept at feeding a sick person. As he wiped Carole’s face, Hoss said, “She has a little colour back in her lips.”
“I’m not sure.” Adam hardly dared to let himself hope but Sue confirmed her husband’s opinion. Like Doc she found it hard to believe that the baby would survive but she was growing more convinced that Carole would and she said so. Heartened by that Adam did his best with his own meal and managed more than half before pushing the plate away. Hoss didn’t protest, just removing the tray and pouring Adam coffee as his brother turned his attention back to the baby.
It was early in the evening and Joe was with his brother when Carole finally stirred. At first as she opened her eyes she wasn’t at all sure what was happening. Adam kissed her gently and then with Joe’s help put a couple of pillows to support her as he assured her that everything was fine. The pain and soreness as she moved brought back vividly what had happened and for the first time she took in the bundle in Adam’s arms. Too weak to even talk, she put the question with her eyes. Adam smiled “You were right my darling, a little girl, not as pretty as the others yet, she’s still very tiny but she’ll be a beauty like her mother.” He lent forward as he spoke pulling back the blanket so that Carole could see the baby’s head. At the moment Anne was fast asleep. Adam went on “You weren’t awake so I’ve just called her Anne, later when you’re feeling better we can think abut another name to add to that.”
“Anne” Carol murmured “Nice.” She reached out an uncertain hand and very gently touched the child’s cheek but she was too weak to want to hold her. She licked her lips, very thirsty and Joe sat down on the bed and lifted her against his shoulder, helping her to drink some warm milk. Carole relaxed against her brother-in-law, trusting him and knowing he loved her, she studied her husband’s face. Adam looked tired and drawn but he was smiling and without any idea just how long she had been lying unmoving, Carole wasn’t too worried. Despite his weakness Adam seemed to have come through it better than she’d dared hope when she realised it was going to be a difficult birth. She asked “Doc?”
“He’s gone home darling, be out to see you both in a couple of days. Now no more talking, you have to rest, recover your strength, Joe go and get some broth.”
Joe slipped out and Adam talked quietly to his wide trying to reassure her. It wasn’t too hard to do as he was confident now that she would recover and with Carole by his side he could face anything. Hoss came up too, wanting to see with his own eyes and Carole was happy to lean against his warm strength and let Hoss feed her, while Adam nursed their child and talked to her. She did murmur that Adam must rest too, but on Joe’s assurance that he and Hoss would take care of everything she was content to snuggle down into her bed again and closing her eyes almost immediately drifted back into sleep. Adam stared down at her for a long moment, thanking God for his mercy and for his wife’s strength. Hoss grinned at his little brother, “She’s gonna be just fine, thank God.”
Joe could only nod but for the first time in hours Adam got very stiffly to his feet and leaving Carole’s side went over to the window to stare out at the mountains that he loved. He thanked God for his mercy and yet presumed to ask for more help, for the tiny precarious life that he held in his arms. He wasn’t even aware that he was trembling, as with one of his fears eased reaction set in. Hoss told Joe to go to him and called down for Sue to stay with Carole while he joined his brothers. Not wanting to disturb Carole Adam let Joe lead him into the next room and didn’t even protest when Joe took his precious burden from him. Hoss followed his brothers in and he put his arm round Adam very gently. Adam rested his aching head on his brother’s shoulder, not even aware of the pain from his injured back, Hoss stroked his hair. “Give way Adam you’ve been in hell for a long time brother but she’s gonna be just fine.”
Adam was glad of Hoss’ strength and his warmth, feeling weak and cold but he felt no urge to break down, his will still set on saving his daughter as well as his wife. Slowly his trembling eased and he pulled away from his big brother and moved to take the child back from Joe. Joe hesitated, “Let me take care of her just for a few hours, you must get some sleep.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Liar.” Said Joe gently “You’re almost out on your feet. You can’t carry on without rest Adam, you’ve already missed two night’s sleep.”
Adam took the child gently and then turning on his heel he left his brothers and went back to the chair by Carole’s bed. He knew they were only thinking of him but he couldn’t leave Anne not even to his brothers, sure that he was the only one to really believe she had a chance. He hadn’t been lying his eyes ached and his head throbbed, his whole body stiff and sore but that was all happening a long way away, almost to someone else and he’d never felt more wide-awake, almost unnaturally alert, and he knew he could cope.
Joe said “Should we get those pills?”
Hoss briefly filled him in on Sue’s opinion and the promise Adam had extracted from him.
Joe frowned “Will you keep it?”
“Not if his life is at stake but I don’t reckon it is yet.”
Neither brother liked leaving Adam but they stuck to the arrangement they’d agreed, sooner or later Adam would be forced to give in and rest and someone had to be fit enough to cope. They split the night between them with Hoss taking the early hours, Joe had to try and keep some of the work moving and although Hoss did his best to help, the organization was not his forte.
The following morning Adam was still as insistent that he wouldn’t go to bed although he let his brothers help him to look after Anne while he washed and changed. He fed Carole himself but she was a little stronger and sat up talking for a few minutes before dozing off again, still too weak to understand how long things had been going on or penetrate the act Adam was putting on.
Once Carole dozed off again Adam fed the baby but as he changed her diaper Joe came in. Joe looked very tired and harassed, trying to keep things going with a stream of queries and worries almost panic stricken, coming from town. Too many were legal; queries and he was really out of his depth but he wouldn’t disturb Adam. His fear for his brother didn’t help his concentration and he remembered very vividly just how much the fight for David’s life had cost his brother, only Adam had started out fit them. Remembering those times he wondered if he could get Adam to lie down if he kept the baby with him, as he had David.
Adam looked up as Joe came in, frowning slightly at just how harassed Joe was but he hadn’t time to worry about anything except his own wife and child. His brother was very competent and somehow he would manage. Adam finished wrapping Anne up again and Joe came round nest to him. “Look Adam, Carole will sleep for a while and you’ve just fed and changed the baby. It’s past time you rested, Hoss and I can’t get on properly until you do. I know you must be exhausted even if you won’t admit it.”
“I’m not leaving Anne,” Adam said as though that finished the argument and bent his head over his daughter, Joe met Hoss’ eye and Hoss sighed heavily but Joe hadn’t finished, “Will you listen to me Adam?”
Adam, his head throbbing, seeing double, couldn’t face arguing “Just leave me alone Joe.”
“I can’t do that brother. I’m not suggesting you leave Anne.”
Adam looked up at that not understanding and Joe smiled “If we push your bed up tight to the wall. Keep her with you, like you did David on the boat. You’ll wake if she stirred just as you did then. I couldn’t wake you but if he whimpered you were awake instantly. You’ll do the same now and we can look after Carole.”
It seemed a long time before they got any answer out of Adam, He might protest that he wasn’t sleepy but he was exhausted and his brain didn’t seem to be working. What his brother said seemed to make sense and the looks his brothers gave him finally decided him and to their infinite relief he slowly nodded “Alright Joe.”
Hoss and Joe both went with him and with their help he was soon lying down the baby nestled in the crook of his arm as he lay on his side, Hoss was worried about Adam hurting his back but Joe shook his head as Hoss picked up the strap, They should settle for what they had and even in his exhaustion Joe was sure that Adam would be very aware of the baby and stay still. Having agreed to rest and shut his eyes Adam’s weakness released him into sleep almost immediately before his brothers had even left the room. Hoss put his arm round his little brother “Well done Joe, I should think he’ll sleep the clock round, maybe twice.”
Joe shook his head “In two hours or less the baby will be restless and he’ll be awake.”
“Let’s take her away.”
“We can’t, he’d wake up for sure and he wouldn’t trust us again. Once he’s settled her again maybe he’ll go back to sleep himself.”
“You look pretty tired yourself.”
“All sorts of panic in town. I’ll have to try and sort it out but …”
“Don’t take on too much Joe, we have enough to cope with. Come on let me get some of those piles of paper. I can go through them up here, I’ll stay with Adam just in case he needs me and Sue’ll take care of Carole.”
Joe nodded, he needed all the help he could get and when Jess offered help Joe accepted that too. Nita let Hop Sing and Kam Su look after the children so that she could help her husband but too much even Joe didn’t really know how to cope with. All sorts of problems being thrown up by the financial collapse and Joe knew that he’d have to make time to go into town and check things on the spot. Queries were already coming in from John Marye on the stock he’d arranged to buy and Joe wished he had waited but it was too late to change his mind now.
Hoss was sorry to see that his little brother was proved right. Not much more than an hour after Adam flaked out the baby gave her tiny weak cry and Adam was up immediately. He took Hoss’ presence for granted, asking for some fresh milk and water and his pipette. He seemed to be moving almost automatically but he wouldn’t let Hoss do anything for her. His short sleep made him look much worse and for the first time he felt ill, so Hoss had no problem in getting him to lie down again once Anne settled. Two hours later to Hoss’ disgust Adam insisted on going back to Carole sure that she’d be awake soon. Hoss tried to persuade him that Carole would only be worried about him as he looked so tired but got nowhere and by the time he had got back to Carole Adam had hidden the worst of it.
Carole was able to feed herself, feeling stronger and she wanted to know more about her daughter. Adam let her hold Anne for a few minutes and he didn’t hid from her that the tiny premature baby was going to need a lot of care but he insisted that Anne would be fine. The confidence in his voice and even more importantly in his eyes reassured Carole. It wasn’t all an act, Adam had put his trust in God and in his exhaustion he was relying heavily on that trust, having got so far he wasn’t going to let Anne die. The baby wasn’t strong enough to suck and Carole’s breasts were already feeling heavy. Sue heard the fear in her voice and came over from the window to join them. It wasn’t unusual for a premature baby and until Anne gained some strength Carole could express her milk manually and they could collect it to feed the baby, still best for the child. Carole wasn’t sure but Sue did her best to sound cheerful, determined not to undermine Adam’s efforts and promised her help, starting right away. It eased the discomfort but Carole wasn’t strong enough to do it herself yet and when Sue had finished she slipped back into sleep.
Adam considered his sister-in-law “I don’t know how we managed without you and Nita. Bless you Sue.”
Sue came over to him, “Let me hold my niece for a few minutes Adam, she’s asleep. I saw the twins and Marie come in a while back. They are downstairs and I think they need their father too, just for a little while.”
Adam frowned loathe to go that far from the baby but Sue was right and if his children needed him, he needed them, maybe more than he ever had. He passed Anne to Sue and she watched him go downstairs. Sue had seen how much Adam had needed his children in the hours of despair last autumn, maybe they could help him now too. Adam had barely got to the bottom of the stairs when the twins spotted him and threw themselves at him. Adam held them close, making space for Marie as she came over. Nita moved forward scared they would hurt Adam, but Joe had heard the excited voices and came out of the study “Let them be Nita.”
For five minutes Adam listened to his children and answered their questions. Then almost blindly he got to his feet, promising them they could see Mummy tomorrow if they were good, before taking refuge in his study. Joe motioned Nita to take care of the children and moved to help his brother into a chair. Then he poured a brandy and slowly fed it to his brother. Adam had shut his eyes and was trembling. Slowly as he drank the brandy Adam got control of himself. He had needed to know that his children were all right bur the comparison of those three bouncy healthy exuberant children made it seem so impossible that Anne would ever be as strong. Joe could understand his fears and with no certainty that the baby would survive he didn’t know how to help, except by staying close. Joe hoped that his brother would break down let some of the tension out but Adam couldn’t, not yet, he was only too aware of the long fight ahead. After a few minutes Adam pulled away from his brother and stiffly made his way back upstairs to take his daughter back.
Overnight Adam consented to lie down again but he could only doze for an hour or less before the baby needed attention, so he got little rest. Hoss and Joe split the night between them again but, although sure that Adam needed a long sleep, neither would nor could force him to take the drugs, which were the only way to ensure it. The baby was holding on but she seemed so frighteningly weak, her very breathing still uncertain, that they couldn’t risk separating her from her father.
When Doc reappeared he was pleased with Carole’s progress but he warned Joe and Hoss that their brother was driving himself dangerously hard, with nowhere near enough rest. The baby was just holding her own but it was still very long odds against her surviving any length of time, he was surprised she was still alive. There was nothing he could do to help and with Adam ignoring his advice there was little point in him coming out to the ranch. If anything changed they could call for him. Hoss frowned “Adam don’t mean to be rude, Doc.”
“I’m not blaming him Hoss. It’s a miracle he’s still on his feet and noone will be better pleased than me if he proves me wrong. It’s just that there’s nothing I can do.”
Joe smiled “You’ve done your part Doc. Carole’s going to be fine and maybe Adam can do the rest.”
“Anytime I can help Joe, just call.” Paul smiled at the younger brothers before heading back to town with a heartfelt prayer that this time he’d be proved wrong.
That day set the pattern for the next week as Carole very slowly began to recover some strength. Adam spent all day with her letting her hold the baby when she wanted but he fed and changed Anne about every ninety minutes, slowly with infinite patience persuading the baby to drink the milk Sue had collected from Carole. At night he had his bed in the next room with the door open so he’d hear if Carole wanted anything and he kept Anne with him feeding her on the same schedule, getting what sleep he could in short dozes. He ate reasonably, as much to reassure Carole as because he wanted the food but he barely tasted anything and he was still very pale and drawn. Seeing how harassed his little brother was he had insisted on coping with some of the legal queries as he sat by Carole. Too tired to think very clearly he was slow, at times having problems focusing, but it did at least relieve for a few minutes the ever present fear that his daughter would give up the fight.
Hoss and Joe had decided independently that unless their brother showed signs of total collapse they could help best by letting him to as he wanted and giving him what support they could. They had the ranch to run as well and the stream of problems emanating from town showed no sign of slowing. Neither Sue nor Nita really approved, Adam was so obviously ill and each had tried to persuade their husband to act without success, so they gave way helping where they could. Hoss and Joe looked little better than their brother, tormented by nightmares when they finally got to bed. Hoss had had to go up to the lumber camp. Much as he hated leaving the house, but it could be weeks before they were sure what was happening. The only way the uncertainty could be resolved rapidly was in tragedy and that was the last thing any of them wanted. Despite his best efforts Hoss finally had to admit that he would have to stay overnight, too many things had had to be left with Joe busy, even before the baby arrived. At least with the telegraph Hoss was able to contact the house and Hop Sing got back to reassure him that nothing had changed at home. The men had heard of the trouble but word had also spread that Carole was going to be all right and although they could understand the Cartwrights’ concern over her, few of them understood Hoss’ fears for the baby or for his brother. Mainly bachelors, probably the roughest crew on the ranch they didn’t know anything about babies. They were surprised at how quiet and worried Hoss was, he ought to be celebrating, however the big man was very popular and noone took exception to his mood, leaving him alone as he obviously wanted. Hoss worked late into the evening and unable to settle spent most of the night clearing some of the paperwork. He was worried about Adam and the baby, but almost equally about Sue. Their child was due soon after Carole’s on initial dates and although one premature birth didn’t make another more likely Hoss couldn’t help being scared. Tormented by nightmares, he was well overtired, his redhead more important to him than he’d ever dreamt, even when he married her.
As soon as it was light Hoss finished off the outstanding work and not even bothering with breakfast he headed on home. He took the rest of the paperwork to deal with at the house, knowing he had to take over from his little brother, as Joe had to go to town.
Joe knew that his big brother was aiming to be back early but even so he was surprised just how early Hoss arrived. As Hoss took off his gunbelt, he asked “Where’s Sue?”
Joe considered his brother, who looked very tired and drawn, “Up with Adam and Carole. Did you get any sleep Hoss?”
“Not much.” Hoss admitted, “Haven’t eaten yet, still the lumber camp can keep going for another week, up on schedule.”
“Go up, see them. I’ll collect you some grub.”
“How’s the baby? Adam?”
“No change and Sue’s fine. Go on big brother.”
Hoss went slowly upstairs, trying to hide his tiredness and he’d managed quite well by the time he went in. Carole was sitting up in bed, still too weak to leave it or to stay awake for very long but she had only been awake for half an hour and had eaten her breakfast. She was looking much more herself, a little colour back in her cheeks and she was holding her baby daughter. Hoss smiled freely and then took Sue into his arms, relieved that she looked fine too “You’re looking a whole lot better Carole.”
“I feel it thanks Hoss. Good to have you back. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, the lumber camp is running smoothly, fine for a week.” Hoss considered his brother, who hadn’t spoken yet. Adam looked very tired and drawn, his eyes bloodshot, a grey tinge to his skin and lines of worry and pain etched deep on his face, but for now he was reasonably at peace. He was hardly able to take his eyes off his wife and child, neither the papers on his lap, nor his brother standing much chance. Feeling his brother’s gaze on him Adam looked up and smiled “Why don’t you take Sue downstairs, get some food. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay brother, you just take it real easy.”
“I’m fine.” Adam insisted “You might ask Kam Su to bring up some fresh coffee.” As Hoss went out with Sue, Carole frowned “You look worn out Adam.” It was only over the last day or so that she had been strong enough to take in anything but now she realised the state he was in and remembered how ill he had been. She still didn’t know how long she had been in bed and although the baby was still weak and tiny she had accepted her husband’s confidence with no real idea of the odds against Anne’s survival, still all too long. She was slightly worried that the baby wasn’t strong enough to suckle but Sue had been reassuring it was only a matter of time and Adam was adept at feeding the baby. Carole had tried but she was still too weak to have sufficient control over her muscles and she’d been glad to let Adam carry on. She knew how frequently Adam fed the child during the day but hadn’t even thought about the night until now. She asked “How do you manage at night Adam? Who has Anne?”
“She stays with me, we share the bed next door.” Adam managed a grin “She doesn’t filch as much of the bedclothes as you do.”
Carole shook her head “How much sleep are you getting?”
“Enough.”
“Well it doesn’t look like it! You weren’t fit to start with Adam, you’re making yourself ill.”
Adam lent over the bed and kissed her, “You aren’t to worry about me darling. I’m fine, my back’s about given up bothering me now. Sure I am a bit tired but have you looked at Hoss and Joe? Busy time of the year and unpredictable children don’t help but we’re getting on top of it.”
“You can’t go on….” Adam stopped her again with a kiss and he grinned “Darling I have everything I’ve every wanted, you, two boys and two girls, the most wonderful family any man was ever blessed with, on all sides and you are beginning to recover now. I can do anything. I love you.”
Carole relaxed at that and very sleepy she let him take Anne and slipped back into sleep. Adam fed the baby and then with her settled back in the crook of his arm he tried to concentrate on the papers and he was working on, he hadn’t been lying to Carole, they were busy and he was well aware of how tired and harassed his brothers were. He had to try and help although he was too tired to be efficient.
A few minutes later Joe looked in and almost apologetically said that he had to go to town collect some money and sort out a few of the worst problems, even supplies had been hit by business collapses. Adam nodded “Try not to work too hard.”
“Hoss is here and Jess, they’ll keep things moving but it may be quite late before I get back.”
“Go on Joe, we’re fine and we still have a ranch to run,” As his brother still hesitated Adam said, “Sooner you get going, sooner you’ll be back.”
Joe nodded and went down to collect the papers he needed while Jess saddled Cochise for him. Joe kissed Nita, trusting her to look after things. They had temporarily moved into Adam’s house as had Hoss and Sue, it made things easier with the children to look after as well.
Joe made the best time he could for town, he’d had several telegrams from his father but so far he and Hoss had decided not to worry Ben with news of the premature birth. Joe didn’t like not telling his father but there was nothing that Ben could do, the negotiations had to be completed and for another fortnight he would be stuck in San Francisco. There seemed little point in worrying him with the uncertainty of Anne’s survival.
Joe started at the Bank arranging to pick up the cash later and then he began to try and clear his list of jobs. He’d been in touch with his father and let him know what shares they had bought and Ben had reciprocated. With stock even jumpier in Virginia City than in San Francisco where the big names were moving in to corner their profits, Ben told his sons to move on up to another million, that had to be arranged and all too many formalities dealt with, although they weren’t registering the shares yet. Joe passed off quickly questions about his brother; Adam was coping, Carole recovering slowly. For now Joe concentrated on work joining Fair and Mackay for a working lunch with too many problems affecting the mines or the bank which needed their attention. Joe wasn’t hungry, overtired and worried he was only toying with his food and pushed his plate away barely touched, asking for a brandy as the waiter took it. Mackay considered him anxiously, he was fond of all the Cartwrights even if at times he got carried along by Fair and Flood into things they disapproved of, “You okay Joe? You look exhausted.”
“It hasn’t been easy the last weeks. Pa’s in San Francisco and Adam otherwise occupied, Hoss and I have been very busy.”
Fair frowned “I thought Carole was getting better.”
“She is but slowly and Adam has the children too, apart from being nowhere near fit himself. Anyway that’s our problem, can we clear this lot.” Joe forced himself to concentrate and cleared most of it, two points he just didn’t know. “I’ll have to check these with Adam, get back to you I’m not sure.” Joe yawned widely as he packed up the mass of papers. “Is that the lot?”
Fair nodded and begrudgingly said “You’ve done a good job Little Joe, getting more like your brother. Give him our regards will you.”
Joe knew how hard it was for Fair to go that far, they had never got on and although still furious at what they had done he accepted the olive branch knowing they had to work together. He offered his hand almost formally to both Irishmen before heading back to John Marye’s to arrange for the next purchase of stock. By the time he’d seen Roy Naylor as well and several of the small businesses causing supply problems to say nothing of the people who had sent cries for help out to the ranch, it was nearly nine. Joe couldn’t face food, near exhaustion himself and after sending a long telegram to his father he went for a beer before heading home. As he’d obviously been very busy, rushing from one meeting to another, his friends hadn’t bothered him even though they were anxious for news. Seeing him ordering beer, Dan came over, “Join us in the corner Joe?”
Joe looked over and saw Doc and the sheriff at a table, “Sure I want a word with Doc anyway.” Joe was glad to sit down and he drank half his beer before leaning back and considering the three men, all friends of his family that he had known nearly all his life. He rubbed his aching eyes and Dan frowned “You look exhausted Joe.”
“Been busy.” Joe sipped his beer as Doc asked “How are things going Joe?”
“I’d be grateful if you’d come out in the next day or so and tell us, check Nita and Sue.” Joe straightened up “I just don’t know Doc. Carole is stronger but its taking a long time, she still sleeps most of the time.”
“Best thing for her. She’ll be fine although it would be sensible to wait a while before she has anymore, she’s had five pregnancies close together, including that miscarriage.”
Joe sighed “I think if
