Summary: When Little Joe goes six weeks without getting into trouble Pa allows him to stay home alone thinking that he was no longer a trouble magnet. Pa was very wrong. Rating T, WC 16,585 Part 3 of the Trouble Magnet Series, links included within.

The Trouble Magnet Series:

The Trouble Magnet #1 

The Trouble Magnet #2 

The Trouble Magnet #3

The Trouble Magnet – 3

“Thank you, Hop Sing,” Ben called to the cook as he set the remaining platters of food onto the dining table.

“Last meal for while.  Tomorrow Hop Sing be on stage to visit cousin number four in San Francisco,” he replied and then cast a displeased look at the vacant chair off to the right of Ben.  “Where Little Joe?”

Ben glanced over at Adam and Hoss and spoke out.  “Where is your little brother?  I hollered for him a few minutes ago and figured he was outside washing up before coming to the table.”

Hoss piled mashed potatoes on his dinner plate and answered, “Little Joe told me to tell you that he’s not hungry, Pa, and for us to go on and eat without him.”

“Boy need eat too thin!” Hop Sing complained with an annoyed grunt.

“He’s okay, Hop Sing,” Adam tried to calm the man.  “Joe’s still just a kid; he’ll fatten up like the rest of us once he’s older.”

“Hop Sing maybe so stay in San Francisco and not come back – nobody eat!” he exclaimed and headed back into the kitchen.

Ben’s brow furrowed over both the cook’s loud remark and the fact that his seventeen- year-old son hadn’t come in for supper.  “What’s that boy up to now?”

“Oh, Pa – believe it or not he was in the barn polishing all the saddles.  He already put in a full day but insists on working late trying to get even more chores done,” Hoss explained.

“Yeah, what’s with him anyhow?  I mean up to about a month ago we could hardly get him to do his daily chores and now he’s been doing double,” Adam wondered as he shot his father a confused stare.

“Well, your little brother wanted to pay off the damages he caused six weeks ago by doing extra chores every day.  He asked me not to say anything about it – but since he’s almost met his self-imposed deadline, I don’t see the harm in telling the two of you.”

Hoss and Adam shared surprised glances and then Hoss piped back up.  “No fooling, Pa?  Little Joe’s about worked off the damages to the windows he busted along with Hop Sing’s canisters and your brandy decanter too?”

Ben nodded, “He sure has – by the end of the week he will be all squared up with me and by the next payday he will be back to drawing his wages.  Now neither of you two boys tease Joseph, he’s been as good as gold the last month and a half.”

Adam snickered and commented, “More like fool’s gold, Pa.”

“That’ll be enough of that, Adam,” Ben warned sternly.  “I realize that it’s a bit hard to believe that Joseph hasn’t been in any trouble in six weeks but it’s time we acknowledge it when he behaves himself.  We’re the first to get after him when he acts up so we need to be the first to praise that boy when he’s followed the rules and worked hard.”

“Please to finish supper before long, Hop Sing need to wash dishes then get sleep.  You take into town to stage in morning,” the cook announced, coming out of the kitchen to hurry the family up a bit.

“We will, Hop Sing,” Ben nodded and sent a look around the dinner table.  “Let’s get done, Boys, and then we’ll carry the dishes in to help out tonight.”

“Hey, Pa?” Hoss began as he shoveled the second helping of roast beef in his mouth and chewed faster.  “With the three of us needing to testify at the Duffy brothers rustling trial tomorrow and what with us having to drop Hop Sing off at the stage depot right before it starts – well – what about Little Joe?”

“What about him?” Ben replied as he sipped his coffee and stared at his middle boy.

“Well – all the hired hands are either out with the herd or working on that new sluice – that would mean that Little Joe would be here alone.”

“I realize that, Son,” Ben nodded calmly.

Adam and Hoss exchanged woeful glances.  They wondered how their father could even consider leaving their little brother there at the house alone after the many disasters that had happened to him the last two times he had been left there all by himself.

“The kid took out the windows on the porch last time, Pa – not to mention what he did in the kitchen – and to your brandy decanter.  Are you sure you want to chance it?” Adam jumped in.

Clearing his throat and trying his best not to look the least bit concerned over the prospect of leaving his youngest alone the following day, Ben answered, “Like I just told you both, Joseph hasn’t been in any trouble in six straight weeks.  He’s also not had so much as a paper cut – and with him that’s a record stretch of time to go without an injury.  I see no reason that he can’t stay here while we are all in town at the trial.”

Before either man could voice their objections, which were many, the front door opened and Little Joe walked inside the house.  He headed over to the dining table and called over to his father.

“I got everything done on my list, Pa.  What would you think about me whitewashing the smokehouse tomorrow?”

Smiling warmly over at his youngest Ben replied, “That’s a big chore, Joseph, you sure you want to tackle that?”

“Sure, Pa,” Joe grinned.  “By my calculations if I get the smokehouse painted and my regular chores done this week I ought to be about done paying you for all of the damages.”

Ben cast a wary glance over at both Adam and Hoss, who he could tell were about to say something about all the damage Joe had done to the house.  “That’s fine, Joseph.”

“I guess I’ll turn in, goodnight,” Joe announced and turned towards the stairs.

Standing from the table Ben called across the room to the departing figure.  “Joseph?  I need to talk with you in my study for just a few minutes before you go upstairs.”

Apprehensively turning around to look over at his father, Little Joe’s heart sank in his chest.  *** Oh no!  Now what have I done?  If Pa wants to speak to me in his study, there’s got to be something that I did wrong.  Think, Joe—think!  Have I broken anything? No—not since the last fiasco when I was here alone and tore up the house – but that was ages ago.  I’ve not gotten hurt since I got bitten by Angie’s dog either – hum maybe I got into some kind of trouble that I can’t remember? ***

Pa read the appearance of both confusion and dread on the boy’s face and sang out, “Don’t look so worried, Son, you’re not in any trouble.  I just want to talk to you.”

*** I hope he’s not just trying to lull me into a false sense of security only to get after me about something once the two of us are there at his desk. *** Joe continued to dwell on his many errors in judgement and willful disobedience in the past, still unsure if he’d done something recently which would land him in hot water with his father again.

“You two finish eating and then clear the table for Hop Sing.  Excuse me,” Ben said and moved across the room taking the time to sling an arm across Little Joe’s shoulder as he steered him towards his study.

**********

Little Joe watched as his father sat down in his chair there at the desk and smiled up at him.

“Go ahead and sit down, Joseph.”

*** Oh, I remember when Pa said that to me six weeks ago!  Back then I couldn’t sit down because that darn dog took a big chunk out of my backside – when I went to Angie’s house after Pa warned me not to go. *** He thought back to what had happened the last time he had been alone at the ranch house and all the mayhem which had ensued that day.

“Joseph?” Ben called over to his son trying to shake him out of his daze.

“Sorry, Pa,” he apologized and sat down opposite him.  “Did I do something?”

Amused, Ben shook his head and grinned at the boy.  “Now do I get after you so much that you naturally assume I only ask you into my study to yell at you, Son?”

*** That sounds like a loaded question to me.  The fact is yes; he does get after me most of the time when he asks me into his study – but if I say that he might think that I’ve got a guilty conscience about something that I’ve done.  Maybe I shouldn’t answer at all?  No, then Pa will think I’m being quiet because I HAVE done something wrong. *** Joe’s thoughts raced over the simple question that had been posed by his father.

“Joseph?”

“Oh – um – sorry, Pa.  What did you ask me?” Little Joe tried to stall for time so he could ponder the question a bit more, still trying to come up with the answer that his father wanted to hear.

Ben stared at his son and couldn’t help noticing how he was fidgeting there in the chair like a man who was about to get lynched.  “Joseph, do I only call you into my study when I’m mad at you?”

*** Same question just rephrased – I know this method — I heard the sheriff use it whenever he interrogates a criminal – Pa’s really trying hard to throw me off.  I’d better say something.  Come on, Joe – say anything at this point – but don’t incriminate yourself! *** He continued to try and outthink his pa.

“No, Sir,” Little Joe answered, his voice falling to a whisper.

Ben sighed and shook his head.  “You’re making me feel like I’m an ogre, Son.  I hope you don’t think that all I want to do is yell at you whenever I call you in here?”

“No, Sir—I don’t think that,” Joe answered though he hadn’t been entirely truthful in his reply.  Pa did a lot of shouting from the chair behind his desk, something he could attest to having been the one opposite the man when he went on a roll.

Ben tried for his most reassuring smile to make the boy there in front of him relax.  “Son, it’s come to my attention that it’s now been six weeks since the whole incident you had with Angie and the dog and the damage that you caused to the house that day.  You’ve gone that entire time without getting into any trouble and you’ve not had one single injury either.  Six weeks, Joseph!  Why that’s a milestone!” Ben exclaimed enthusiastically.  He rationalized that for Joseph going six weeks without causing chaos was like twenty years without causing trouble for any normal teenaged boy.

Joe perked up a bit after witnessing his father’s smile and hearing his praise.  “Thanks, Pa.  So, is that why you called me in here?” He asked as he thought back to all the prior times he had been summoned to his father’s study.  Joe was still waiting for the last shoe to drop figuring that there would be a forthcoming lecture ahead for him.

Clearing his throat Ben began once more.  “As you know Hop Sing will be leaving tomorrow for a few weeks in San Francisco and I’ll be dropping him off in town to catch the stage.  Afterwards your brothers and I have to testify at the Duffy brother’s trial.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“The hired hands are all busy with the herd and working on the new sluice so none of them will be here,” Ben continued.

Little Joe’s eyes grew bigger when he finally realized where his father was going with his little talk.  “Is this about me staying here by myself, Pa?”

“Yes, Son,” Pa nodded.

“Well, I guess I could ride with all of you into Virginia City and just wait outside of the courthouse until the trial is over?” Joe offered.

Ben shook his head and returned, “No, Joseph—I’ve decided that it’s fine for you to stay here and get your chores done and also whitewash the smokehouse – like you said you wanted to do so the two of us will be square again.”

Little Joe looked as though he was either going to cry or faint dead away after hearing what Pa had said.  He couldn’t speak, so stunned by his father’s calm demeanor in suggesting such a thing after all that had transpired the last two times Pa had come home to the house being torn up and all the injuries that Joe had incurred mostly at his own hand.

“Son?  Are you okay?” Ben asked, surprised by the appearance of both shock and terror on the boy’s face.

“Pa?  Is this like a test or something?  I mean—are you sure you want to chance it?”

Ben chuckled as he stood and walked around to his son and placed a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder.  “No, it’s not a test, Joseph.  I’ve seen how hard you’ve tried to stay out of trouble this last month and a half – and I don’t have any qualms about you staying here while we’re all away.  We should be home right before dark if that trial doesn’t hold us up too long.”

“I don’t want to cook dinner!” Little Joe exclaimed loudly thinking back to the two disastrous dinners he had attempted to make.  Both times he had destroyed the kitchen and most of the house as well.  He still shuddered every time Hop Sing prepared any dish with carrots in it.  One carrot had caused him to cut a good gash in his right thumb the first time and during the last incident, when he was home alone, there was a carrot which was responsible for him knocking the stove pipe down and breaking all of Hop Sing’s brand new canisters.

Worried over the way his son seemed fearful at the very thought of cooking, Ben placed both of his hands on Joe’s shoulders and massaged the knots that were forming there.  “Joseph – it’s okay – you don’t have to cook.  Hop Sing’s already prepared something for tomorrow’s supper, and he even made a cake for the four of us, so you won’t have to do any cooking.”

His chest rapidly heaving in and out a few times trying to catch his breath, Little Joe stared into his father’s eyes.  For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why Pa would ever want to trust leaving him at the house alone after all he had done in the past.

“Are you sure, Pa?” Joe asked weakly.

“Yes, I’m sure, you’ll do fine, Joseph, I trust you,” Pa reassured.

*** I NEVER EVER thought I’d hear those words from Pa!  I wonder if I’m dreaming? *** Joe thought to himself.

“Okay, Sir, if you’re sure about this?”

“Of course I am, Joseph.  Now you go on to bed — I know you’ve put in a hard day’s work,” Ben smiled down at his boy.

“Is that all, Pa?” Little Joe asked warily.

“Yes why?” He returned, confused by his son’s question.

“Well – I mean—there wasn’t any yelling, so I didn’t know if you were done with me yet.”

Ben groaned and shook his head, “Joseph, you’ve just got to stop thinking that all I do is yell at you.”

*** Pa must’ve forgotten about the plain fact that every single time he’s called me into his study it’s ended up with him shouting at me at least once – usually a lot more! *** Joe mused as he stood from the chair.

“Yes, Sir,” Joe grinned.  “I’ll try not to think that Pa.”

“Goodnight, Son.”

“Goodnight, Pa – and thanks for having faith in me.  I won’t let you down!” Joe insisted and walked to the staircase.  *** Please Lord, don’t let a robber end up coming here tomorrow – or a vicious dog — or anyone who causes my horse to set the barn on fire.  Amen. *** Joe prayed as he headed to his bedroom.

************

Ben turned to see both Adam and Hoss standing a few feet from the desk staring over at him.

“Pa?  Are you sure about this?” Adam questioned before Hoss had the chance to ask.

“Of course I am,” He answered, forcing a note of confidence to his tone of voice.  “If you had seen that boy a few minutes ago – why he’s getting to the point where he’s more afraid of staying here alone than we are in letting him do it.  Now I’ve got to allow him to stay here tomorrow for his own good.  The last thing I wanted was to make Joseph fearful, and perhaps I went a bit overboard with my last couple of talks with him.  According to your brother I was a bit loud.  That boy was sure that I was going to shout at him – so I need to rethink how I approach these types of situations.  He was almost petrified about staying here alone a few minutes ago and I don’t want that.”

“Pa?  Are you forgetting that we lost almost all the windows on the front of the house due to that boy and his antics?  I’d say if you got a bit loud with Little Joe that it was justified,” Adam reminded his father about the mess that they had to clean up after Joe’s run-in with Angie’s fiancé which was brought about due to his disobedience.

“I’m not forgetting,” Ben grumbled.  “But we don’t need to hold it over his head either.  Joseph deserves a chance to show he’s learned his lesson about behaving himself and following the rules.

Adam sighed and shook his head as he walked off.  “This I gotta see.”

“Well, Pa, I hope the house will still be here when we get home,” Hoss muttered as he walked over to the settee, joining his brother there.

*** I hope so too! *** Ben thought, his gaze following the departing figure of his youngest as he walked up the stairs.  *** I’m sure he’ll do fine – nothing to worry about – nothing at all. ***

*************

Ben watched Adam and Hoss come down the stairs dressed in their Sunday best clothes to go testify at the trial being held in Virginia City.  He smiled proudly at both of his sons as he prepared to get his hat and leave with them.

“Well, Brother,” Adam began as he faced Hoss.  “Take one last look around at the living room because it might not be here when we get back.”

Hoss laughed and then saw the scathing look that their father was sending over at the two of them.

“Where’s Little Joe?” Hoss changed the topic trying to prevent his father from admonishing the two of them for their lack of confidence in their little brother.

“He’s saying goodbye to Hop Sing,” Ben replied, still unamused by what Adam had said, even though he had thought the same thing right before his sons had come down the stairs but would never have admitted it.

**************

Little Joe stood next to the cook who was giving him last-minute instructions before getting into the buckboard and leaving with Pa to catch the stage.

“This pot pie, it for supper. You leave alone, Little Joe.  It stay in warming oven until father come home tonight.  No add wood heat just right.  Do not make burn by adding more wood.  You no touch!”

“Okay, okay,” Joe nodded as a frown took over his face.  Hop Sing had been very insistent with all he had already said to him and was now repeating himself.

“This cake – Hop Sing make for family.  You no eat until family come home, Little Joe!” The cook wagged his right pointer finger at the boy.

“I’m not gonna touch it.  Look, Hop Sing, if you don’t hurry up Pa’s gonna leave without you.”

“You look see – Hop Sing’s canisters.  They right here,” The cook pointed to the shelf above the stove.  “Mister Ben have to buy two set – all way from Boston – because you break both what Hop Sing had.  Hop Sing want to see them right here when get back from San Francisco.  You not touch you not break!”

“Alright I know!  You’ve told me almost every single day since Pa got you the second replacement set.  I’m not going to be anywheres near them – I’ll be minding my own business working outside all day long,” Joe answered grimacing over being dressed down so early in the morning.  He was keenly aware that he had destroyed the canisters, especially since Pa had made him pay for the last set, not to mention his very expensive imported brandy decanter which had just arrived on the stage just two days ago.

Hop Sing finally broke into a smile aimed at his young charge showing his affection for the boy.  “You be good, Little Joe!”

Joe gave the man a quick hug and returned his smile.  “I will – go and have a good time with cousin number four.  Have a safe trip.”

Hop Sing hurried out of the kitchen followed closely behind by Little Joe.

“I ready now,” the cook sounded out as Adam opened the door.

“We got the buckboard hitched up and waiting on you,” Hoss said and watched as Hop Sing hurried out the front door.

Ben cleared his throat and stared at his two older boys.  “You both go on outside I’ll be there in just a minute.”

Adam and Hoss exchanged amused glances, knowing that their father wanted to offer their little brother some parting words.  Both men wished that they could stay and hear what Pa was going to say to Little Joe but from the look on his face their father wanted some privacy.  They left the house joining Hop Sing out front.

“Joseph – come here for a minute please.”

Making his way across the room, Joe stood next to his father and waited for what he presumed would be a brief yet stern warning about how he was to stay out of trouble.

“Go ahead, Pa,” Joe frowned as he looked up into the man’s eyes.

“Why are you looking at me like that?  Do you think I’m going to yell at you like you thought I was going to do last night, Son?”

“Well – maybe not yell exactly, Pa.  But I figured that you’d probably remind me that I’m a trouble magnet and that I need to watch myself, so nothing happens like it did the last two times I was here all by myself,” Joe explained.

Ben placed a hand onto his son’s shoulder and offered him a reassuring pat.  “Now, Joseph – that’s all in the past.  I’ve not said one word about you being a trouble magnet for weeks, now, have I?”

Shaking his head Joe replied, “No, Pa – but I haven’t been home alone for weeks either.”

Ben chuckled and announced, “You’ll do just fine, Son—I’m not worried at all.  Now you go get to your regular chores and then go get the paint from the barn so you can whitewash the smokehouse.  Like I said last night we should be home before dark.”

“Yes, Sir,” He nodded and smiled at his pa and then watched as he headed outside to the buckboard.

Waving goodbye to his family as the two horses and wagon left the yard, Joe headed into the barn to start his chores.

*** Maybe I’m not a trouble magnet anymore. *** Joe thought to himself and grinned.

*************

Little Joe removed the pencil from his green corduroy jacket and then grabbed the piece of paper that was folded inside of his pants pocket.  He readied to cross off cleaning the barn from the long list.

“That chore’s done,” Joe sighed after he drew a line across “cleaning the barn”.  “Now to chop wood and bring it inside to fill all the wood boxes in the living room and kitchen.  But I’m doing good so far and thankfully no-one has dropped by to interrupt me.  I just want a nice peaceful day and to see the looks on everyone’s faces when they come home and see that I can handle staying here alone without causing the least bit of trouble!”

Walking around the large stack of firewood Joe eyed the situation as he grabbed the axe.  “I never realized how dangerous it was to work around here.  The wood pile is pretty high and if I don’t watch myself a piece could fall from the top and drop down and break my foot or something.  I better be careful choosing which piece to take from the top.” Little Joe was very wary due to the memory of what had happened to him both times in the past three months that he had been left to his own devices.  He was determined not to let history repeat itself, so he studied the wood pile prudently before gingerly removing the first piece to split.  Carrying it over to the chopping block he readied his axe and swung hard, precisely breaking it in two.  A broad smile turning up the corners of his lips, Joe tossed both pieces over to the side and then carefully chose another piece to chop.

Two hours later Joe had finally finished the job of splitting all the wood which his brothers had previously stacked up for him so there would be plenty of it for the fireplace and stove.  Mopping his brow, Little Joe tossed a good amount inside the wheelbarrow and decided he’d fill the wood boxes before moving on to his next chore.  He was extremely pleased that he hadn’t hurt himself, not even getting a splinter, while tackling the huge pile of firewood.

“There.  The two wood boxes in the kitchen are filled and now to tackle the ones in the living room,” Joe grinned proudly as he turned out of the house.  Unfortunately, he hadn’t heard the sound coming from upstairs, where some uninvited guests were having a good time making a mess of the place.

Oblivious to the chaos, which was going on inside the bedrooms, after he had filled both wood boxes on the hearth, Joe made his way to the barn so he could grab the paint and brushes and begin to whitewash the smokehouse.  It was only a little past two and he was happy that everything was moving along well, and he presumed he’d get the smokehouse painted long before his family returned from Virginia City.  He went right to work, choosing to paint everything that he could reach first before getting the ladder for the higher parts.  Little Joe was cautious in all his movements, making sure that he wouldn’t make a mess or get hurt in any way as he slowly coated each exterior wall.  Standing back some to get a look at all he had accomplished, Joe sighed wearily.  “Pa sure was right!  This is one heck of a chore I decided to take on.  But all I’ve got to do now is the high parts and I’ll be about done,” he said aloud and then looked up at the placement of the sun in the sky.  “Gee, it’s getting late—I don’t know how long I’ve been out here working but I’d better go get the ladder, so I’ll be finished before everyone gets back.”  Returning to the barn, Joe pulled the ladder out and walked back to the smokehouse.  Leaning the ladder against the edge of the roof he brought the bucket up into his left hand.  ***Be careful, Joe! *** He thought as he slowly ascended the ladder, always wary of the fact that he was known to get hurt while alone.  He made his way around the highest parts, spreading the paint out just as far as he could reach but not overextending himself too much and then going down the ladder very carefully.  When all that remained to finish his task was the very top of the last side Joe smiled to see that he had just enough paint.  “Once more up and down and I’ll be all done!” He sang out and climbed up again.  That was when his perfect day ended abruptly.  Little Joe, becoming just a bit too eager to finish his project, reached over just a little too far and the ladder tilted sharply to the right.  He made a brave attempt to catch himself, the paint and the ladder, however everything came crashing down on top of him.

Little Joe angrily shoved the ladder off him and swore to himself.  “Just great!  I almost had it all done – but no – I just had to mess up!  Look at me now!” He groaned, witnessing the paint that covered him.  Tossing the paint bucket aside he stood and checked himself over.  “Well – at least I didn’t hurt my right wrist again.  I guess I can be thankful for that.  I know Pa’s been waiting for me to hurt myself again, so I’ll need that old splint—which is why he hasn’t gotten rid of the dad burn thing yet.  I guess being splinted five times is the limit for me!  I don’t feel anything busted- thank the good Lord!  That’s the last thing Pa needs to see when he gets home – me with a busted rib or wrist – or well –a busted anything!  Okay, I guess I need to go inside and change my clothes and then I’ll come out here and clean up this mess.  At least I’ve got most of the job done until I can get more paint.  I need to get something to drink anyhow,” He sighed and walked slowly across the yard towards the house dripping white paint with each step.

**************

Little Joe stared down at his boots just before he was about to open the front door.  There was a good amount of paint on them, and he didn’t want to drip it all over the floor.  He pulled both off and sat them to the side and then pulled the door open.  Joe hurriedly crossed the living room and made his way to the stairs, his only thought to get to his bedroom and take the paint off his hands and face before changing his clothes.  He shook his head and sighed to himself as he turned the doorknob and entered his room.

“What in the heck!” he shouted as his eyes fell on the disarray all over the room.  His bedding was thrown on the floor, and his pillows were gutted with their feathers still floating in the air.  Everything that had been on top of his bureau was now tossed haphazardly around the room, some of the various items lying smashed on the floor.  Little Joe walked over to where the curtains in his window were flapping in the breeze and he peered out.  “What?  Was there a windstorm?  No – I was outside and I didn’t feel anything!”  Joe was starting to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  “Maybe a squirrel climbed in my window – yeah that’s happened before – but no squirrel can lift a full-sized feather mattress unless it was the size of Hoss!”  Joe walked around the room looking at the mess.  He bent down and checked underneath his bed to see if he could find whatever had caused the melee.   “But my door was closed – there’s no way that a squirrel can close a darn door!  Unless – well – maybe it went right back out the same window?  No – one squirrel just couldn’t do all this!” Joe reached down and pulled his mattress back up onto the frame.  “Hum – maybe there were several squirrels? Yeah – that could have been – some evil squirrels out to destroy me like Angie’s dog attempted to do!  It’s a plot by a bunch of tree rats all coming inside here to get me into trouble!”  Little Joe looked into the mirror on his bureau and just shook his head.  There was a good deal of white paint all over his hair and face which spread down to his arms wherever he had his sleeves rolled up.  “I’d better spruce up some – don’t need Pa to see me looking like this.  I can just close my bedroom door and clean this room up later and no-one will be the wiser.”

************

“How much longer you reckon this trial will go on, Pa?”  Hoss asked as he stepped outside of the Virginia City Courthouse.  The three men had been ordered by the prosecutor to remain in town until they were needed to testify.  The short break in the proceedings gave them just enough time to head over to the International House for a very late lunch.

“I don’t know, Son,” Ben sighed as the three Cartwrights crossed C Street making their way to get something to eat at the hotel.  “I heard Randolf Bell say that this trial could last a couple of days so that means the three of us will have to come back here tomorrow unless things speed up when court is called back in session.”

Adam opened the door for his father and brother, and they walked inside the International House.  “It’s a pretty good bet that we’ll be coming back, Pa.  By the time court’s back in session there won’t be enough time to put up much of a defense and you know that the Duffy brothers have paid that new attorney a lot of money to try and get them off.  Randolf said that we have to be available for cross examination.”

“Well, Boys, there isn’t a thing we can do about it.  Let’s just go get something to eat before that judge comes back.”

“Hey, Pa – I wonder how Little Joe is doing?” Hoss asked as they were led to their table.

“Oh, I’m sure Joseph is doing just fine, Hoss.  I told him last night that I have faith in him, and I think that meant a lot to the boy,” Ben smiled as he nodded over to the waitress.

“Yeah,” Adam began and nudged Hoss’ arm.  “I’ve got faith too, faith that we’re going to come home to a real mess.”

Ben glared at his eldest but didn’t reply to what he had said.  He hoped that he had made the right decision in allowing his youngest to prove that he had turned over a new leaf and that Joseph wouldn’t get hurt this go-round.  Pa also prayed that the three of them would return to a house which was as tidy as they had left it.
“Just order your food, Adam,” Ben announced gruffly.

“Yes, Sir,” Adam nodded and fought back a knowing smile.  He was very aware that his father still had qualms about leaving Little Joe home alone, but he’d never admit it.

**************

Little Joe made some progress getting the paint off his face and arms but to get it out of his hair he knew would require a bath so he’d decided that he would have to put that off until later.  He wasn’t too concerned about it as he figured it was normal to have some paint on a person if they had done a good job.  Joe hoped that Pa would be so proud of him for having got that chore done without any injury that he wouldn’t say anything if his hair was a bit white.  After putting on fresh clothes, his spirits were a bit better, so he decided to go outside and clean his boots off.  Little Joe walked out into the hallway where he spotted his father’s bedroom door being open.  Pa was a creature of habit and had always closed his door once leaving it for any amount of time.  It was at that moment that Joe got that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach again.  *** Please – let Pa’s room be okay and not torn up like mine is! *** Joe thought as he walked across to his father’s room.

*** That’s it – Pa’s just not going to believe this! *** Little Joe told himself as he surveyed the damage before him.  Pa’s mattress was a lot bigger than his, but it had been pulled down to the floor also.  And all his father’s pillows were torn up, their feathers flying all around the room.  Joe looked over at Pa’s bureau and gasped when he saw that the formerly ornate lamp was now lying smashed on the floor.  *** There’s no way that squirrels could do this unless it was a whole blasted army of them!  Why me, Lord?  What have I done? Wait – maybe it’s because of all the lies I’ve told in the past?  Yeah, it’s a way of showing me the error of my ways, huh?  No – I repented for those – that can’t be it! *** Joe’s mind played out many scenarios trying to ascertain why he was being singled out by the Almighty at the time.  *** Wait –maybe it wasn’t squirrels?  Yeah, something bigger – that’s it!  Now – what climbs in windows and is big enough to pull a mattress from off a bed?  Hum – a bear?  Yeah – but I’d imagine a bear would only come in looking for food.  Maybe I’d better look around some –to see if one’s around? *** Little Joe cautiously looked inside his father’s wardrobe and underneath his bed but came up without any clues as to the identity of whatever had wreaked havoc upstairs.  *** I hope I find whatever did this so I can kill it and show it to Pa and get myself off the hook for all this damage!  Maybe I’d better check the other rooms? ***

Upon careful inspection, Little Joe determined that whatever had invaded the house had singled out only his room and his father’s.  None of the other bedrooms showed any damage to them.  *** Sure – couldn’t be lucky and have whatever it was just target Hoss’ and Adam’s bedrooms.  No, it just had to be Pa’s and mine!  Once again – it just isn’t my day.  But if I can find whatever it was that wrecked the place Pa probably won’t shout at me too much.  Maybe it went downstairs looking for food? ***

Little Joe stealthily made his way down the stairs and scanned the living room.  He noticed that everything seemed to be in order.  Just when he was beginning to think that whatever had come into the bedrooms had simply gone back out the way they came in, he heard a noise that sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.  If he had been thinking clearer, he would have grabbed his Colt before running off in that direction, but he was far too mad to think straight at the time.  He just wanted to catch whatever it was and kill it.  Rounding the corner of the dining room Joe launched himself into the kitchen just in time to get a glass thrown at his head.  It struck him just underneath his left eye, which stunned him momentarily, knocking him down to the floor just a few feet back inside the dining room.  And that’s when he heard the strangest sound he ever had, something between a laugh and a scream.  Little Joe looked on in horror as he saw three fast-moving hairy critters which were tearing up the kitchen and apparently having a lot of fun doing so.

*** Oh no!  I’ve probably had so many injuries to my head over the years that it must’ve done some kind of damage to my brain!  I must be having what I heard Doc Martin call a “break from reality”.  Yeah—that’s got to be it.  I can’t be seeing this – it’s not real! *** Joe thought as he tried to focus on what was playing out there in front of him.  Just when he was content with his own diagnosis a dinner plate came sailing out of the kitchen landing on his chest.  Joe held the plate in his hands and shook his head.  “Well, if I’m having a break from reality then so is whatever just threw this at me!” Joe shouted and pulled himself to his feet touching his wounded eye.  He carefully advanced into the kitchen and was shocked to see three hairy little hellions tearing up the place and making a lot of noise doing so.

*** Monkeys?  Those are monkeys!  I ain’t never seen any in the flesh but that’s what they look like in books!  Yeah, hey those are the kinds of monkeys that don’t have tails for some reason. *** Joe realized what had invaded the house now.  *** But what the heck would monkeys be doing here – well – besides destroying the place? *** He wondered just in time to feel a rolling pin slamming into his chest.  Joe stared down at one of the monkeys who laughed at him and then jumped up onto the China cabinet.   “Ow!  That hurt!” Joe shouted and attempted to grab the monkey that had just hit him, but the creature was much too fast and launched itself onto the butcher block where Hop Sing had left a knife.  “No!  Put that down!” Joe shouted again only to see the other two monkeys join the first and now all three laughed over at him.  Before Joe could make his way over and disarm the simian it threw the knife in his direction.  He fell back down to the floor trying his best not to get stabbed as the knife sailed through the air.  “Dad blast you little ape!” Joe yelled and reached for a pan, which was within an arm’s length from him, and put it over his head as a helmet.  “I’m not going to take another blow to my head!  Now I don’t know where you three came from, but I know where I want to send you!”  At that moment the three chimps ran off in all directions making it harder for Joe to decide the best course of action.  One of the chimpanzees opened the stove and stuffed piece after piece of wood inside of it.

“Hey!’ Joe shouted and tried to get to the stove.  He tossed the pan off his head feeling foolish to be chasing monkeys around the kitchen wearing it.  “Now cut that out!”

One of the monkeys jumped onto the table right next to where Hop Sing had left a beautiful four-layer chocolate cake that he had made the night before.

“No!” Joe turned around in a valiant effort to save the cake.  “Don’t touch!  Bad monkey, don’t you put your hairy little hands in that!”

The laughter rang out from all three chimps as the one on the table stuck its hands inside the cake and launched a good amount of it directly at the boy.  Joe stood there stunned once again now with icing coating his hair and pieces of the once- lovely dessert sliding down his face.   He eased back carefully trying to find a weapon of some kind to make it a fair fight.  Finally, Joe was able to find a carving knife, and he decided that it was time for him to go on the offensive.

“I hate like heck to have to do this – but if it’s me or the three of you then it’s not gonna be me that gets the worst wounds this time!  You apes are destroying this kitchen, and I can’t let that happen!  I’m not about to try and explain to my pa that three dad blasted monkeys destroyed the house.  You evil apes have already gotten me into trouble with the damage you caused to Pa’s bedroom!” He shouted and tried to grab a hold of at least one of the monkeys.

The next minute there was a very loud crash that rang out behind where Joe stood and he turned to see one of the chimps up on the shelf which housed Hop Sing’s brand-new replacement canisters.

“Oh no you didn’t!” Joe screamed at the monkey after witnessing the remains of the first canister lying smashed on the floor.  “No don’t throw another one!”

The chimp responded by laughing loudly and then tossing another canister down to the floor.  Joe made a brave effort to catch it before it landed but he missed.  And unfortunately, as he dove to prevent it from breaking, he injured his right wrist, slamming it into one of the legs of the stove.  He cried out in pain.

“Great!  Now you’ve made me hurt my dad gum wrist again!  Pa’s gonna have a pure fit.  I’ll probably have to go and find that old splint again.  I thought that having my hand splinted five times was my limit!  How in the heck can my family go away for the day and I end up with a passel of monkeys on my hands?  I mean there’s no zoo in this part of the country – maybe back east but not here.  And I’ve not seen any sideshow anywhere near Virginia City for ages.  Not to mention the fact that I’ve never seen a monkey at any of the sideshows that have been in town anyway.” Joe sang out as he pulled his sore wrist into his lap.  Before he could get up another canister crashed down next to him.  “Go ahead there’s one more – you might as well complete the set,” He muttered in defeat as he looked up at the chimp who still sat there on the shelf just smiling down at him.  The next sound was of the last canister hitting the floor.  “I ain’t paying for those this time!” Joe insisted as he pulled himself back to standing.  “It ain’t my fault that somebody misplaced their band of evil monkey vandals!”  He quietly retrieved the carving knife, holding it behind his back.  Cautiously Joe made his way closer to the monkey that still sat next to what was left of the cake.  “Here little feller, nice monkey—old Joe is going to be real kind to you – now you just sit there, okay?”  He attempted to control the rage he was feeling as he grew closer to the chimp.  It was then that the unexpected happened and the monkey launched itself directly at Joe, causing him to drop his knife.

“Ah!” Joe yelled as he fought to get the thing off his chest.  It began to run its hands through his hair.  “Get the heck off of me!” He exclaimed and fought to pull the hairy arms off his shoulders where the ape was beginning to climb up to his head.  “Get off!” Joe screamed again only to feel another monkey launch itself onto his back.  “Two against one – now is that fair?” He asked as he tried to pry the simian hands off from around his neck.  Joe felt two hairy hands as they covered his eyes causing him to move backwards fighting off the advance of both chimps.  He felt the stab of pain and realized that he now had a piece of one of the ceramic canisters embedded into his right foot.  Joe had forgotten that he was in his stocking feet at the time.  “Ow!  You evil beasts!” he shouted and tried to remove the chimps so he could pull the ceramic shard from his foot.  The only response was the sound of more raucous laughter.  “I’ve just got to make it into the living room so I can get my gun and then the three of you won’t be laughing anymore!” Joe swore and attempted to throw his back against the wall to dislodge the two monkeys which had climbed on top of him.  Right before he slammed into the wall both chimps jumped off.  Joe knocked the wind out of himself as he hit the wall hard and then slowly slid back down onto the floor.  He turned to see both monkeys just a few feet from him clapping their hands as though he had amused them.

“Yeah, go ahead and clap!  You won’t be smiling at me in a minute.  Hey – where did your little friend go?” Joe asked as he pulled himself off the floor and removed the broken piece of the canister from his foot.  He glanced around the kitchen.  “Well, I’ll find him – but first I’ve got to go find my good friend Mister Colt and then take care of all three of you little beasts!” Joe shouted and turned out of the kitchen heading for the living room and his gun.  The two chimps followed right behind him.

Having reached the credenza, Little Joe grabbed his holster.  He stood there perplexed to see that it was empty.  “Hey, where’s my gun?”

In response to his question, Joe heard the all too familiar sound of a gun cocking.  He looked over to the coffee table where the missing chimp now stood holding his Colt revolver.

“No!  No – don’t do that!  Put my gun down – come on somebody might get hurt!” Joe called over to the chimp.  *** Yeah, someone will get hurt and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be me.  Oh, Lordy!  Pa’s not going to believe that I was shot dead by a dad-burn monkey! *** Joe thought to himself, swallowing hard as he watched the chimp taking aim.

A bullet breezed by Little Joe’s right ear just barely missing his head.  He screamed in terror and ducked down low.

“Put it down!  You are a bad bad monkey!  What – are you trying to kill me?”

The sound of two chimpanzees clapping filled the room followed by a lot of laughter.  Joe crouched down low next to the credenza and tried to figure out how he could get the gun out of the chimp’s hairy little hands.  He heard the clicking of the hammer of his gun once more and then the sound of it being discharged echoed in his ears.  Little Joe looked on as the lamp that sat just to the right of his father’s chair next to the fireplace took a direct hit, breaking the glass and sending kerosene spilling down onto the floor.  ***Not another lamp!  You’ve already taken out Pa’s favorite one in his bedroom, the one next to my bed, and now the one that Pa uses to read by.  I hope that you just shoot me now – it’ll be a far easier death than what Pa has in store for me when he gets home. *** he thought and shook his head.  *** Okay – you’ve only got four more bullets and then you’re mine, you evil little ape!  Now all I have to do is keep away from where you’re pointing that thing. *** Joe mused to himself as he quickly ran in the direction of his father’s study.

*************

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to come back tomorrow, Boys,” Ben said as the three men walked across the street from the courthouse to get their horses.

“Yeah,” Hoss replied as he untied his reins.  “That lawyer that the Duffy brothers hired sure is long-winded, Pa.”

“I guess he’s trying to prove to the Duffy brothers that he’s earning the huge retainer he got from them,” Adam nodded and swung up into his saddle.

“Well, let’s go – it’s going to be dark before we get home,” Ben answered as he stared at his pocket watch.

“I’m glad that old Hop Sing left us a chicken potpie and that big chocolate cake.  I’m hungry, Pa,” Hoss announced as he turned his horse and looked over at his father and brother.

“It will be waiting on you, Hoss,” Ben smiled knowingly.

“Yeah—if Joe hasn’t done anything to it,” Adam sighed.

“Joseph didn’t have to do anything in the kitchen today relax.  He’s probably just finishing up with whitewashing the smokehouse about now.”

Adam tried to hold back his amusement over what his father had said.  He had little faith that his youngest brother had stayed out of trouble because of his track record.  “I hope you’re right, Pa – and everything will be as we left it when we get back.”

“Now, Adam – you’ve got to stop thinking that Joe can’t handle things.  Yes, your little brother had a bad spell there for a while, but he’s straightened out now and I’m quite sure that he’s stayed out of trouble,” Ben returned and hoped that he wouldn’t have to eat his words

“Hey, wasn’t it you, Pa, who gave Little Joe the nickname trouble magnet?” Adam grinned.

“Let’s go,” Ben returned gruffly.  He kicked at Buck’s sides and the three men headed back to the Ponderosa.

************

Little Joe bided his time as he attempted to get to the desk drawer where Pa usually kept a loaded Colt revolver just in case there was an intruder who might get through the front door.  He decided that he would rather die while defending himself and the house than just stand there like a sitting duck.  However, every attempt he had made to get around the desk had been answered by a bullet.  He watched in shock as the chimp with the weapon blasted the light above the dining table and then turned and fired a bullet which hit the window behind Pa’s chair.  Joe figured that it would make for a very cold supper if he survived until his family returned home.

*** Let’s just figure this out. *** Little Joe crouched just to the side of his father’s desk and briefly closed his eyes as he counted the spent rounds in his head.  *** That evil ape sent a bullet over at me when I was standing at the front door.  That’s one. Then that monkey blasted Pa’s lamp next to his chair by the fireplace.  That’s two. After that it hit the chandelier above the table dead center, followed by the one that took out the window behind Pa’s chair in the dining room.  Humm that takes care of bullets number three and four.  Only two more and that monkey is all mine! *** he thought as he quickly surveyed all the damage thus far.  Little Joe noticed that the other two monkeys had entertained themselves by throwing the decorative pillows from the sofa into the fireplace along with Adam’s brand-new novel which he had left on the coffee table.

Two of the chimps advanced across the room and made their way next to where Joe was crouched down next to his father’s desk.

“You stupid apes – don’t you realize that your friend over there has a loaded weapon and might kill you?” Joe asked as they stood in front of him smiling.  He watched as both monkeys jumped over his head and landed on Pa’s desk.  Before Joe could make a move to push them off, they began throwing the papers and ledger books around the room.  “Now cut that out!  Leave Pa’s stuff alone!” Joe yelled as he stood up.  Just then another loud blast of his gun sounded out, and he turned just in time to see the window behind his father’s desk blown to bits.  “Not that window!” Joe groaned.  “I just finished paying for the damages from being thrown through that by Angie’s stupid fiancé!  Well, I’m not paying one red cent towards the damage that you evil little apes have caused!”

The chimp which had been having a grand time shooting Joe’s Colt jumped down from the coffee table and was quickly over to the study.  Little Joe stood there horrified as the chimpanzee aimed the gun directly at him.

“Oh, just go ahead and get it over with,” Joe called down to the monkey.  “I’ve had seventeen years on this earth – guess that’s all I needed to see what the rest of my life would have been like.”  Little Joe closed his eyes as the chimps on the desk began to clap and the one with the gun started to laugh.  It was then that the ape turned and blasted Pa’s brand-new imported brandy decanter.

“I should have seen that one coming,” Joe sighed as he watched the amber colored liquor pour down onto the floor.  “It would’ve been more merciful if you’d just shot me instead of that you stupid ape!”

Little Joe hurriedly grabbed for the gun that the chimp still held and was able to get it away from the monkey.  “Now to go reload!” He exclaimed happily and hurried to the credenza.  At that moment all three monkeys raced back across the living room and headed to the kitchen once more.

“Yeah, you just try to run – see where that’ll get you!” Joe laughed as he pulled out a box of shells from inside the credenza and reloaded.  It only took a couple of minutes before he had six bullets in his gun and then Little Joe smiled maniacally.  “You apes are mine now!” He called and ran to the kitchen.

Little Joe frowned to see that the kitchen door was wide open, and all the monkeys had gone from sight.  He walked outside and scanned the area.  “Now where did you little beasts run off to anyway?”  Joe looked around and it was as though they had vanished into thin air.  “Oh no you’re not leaving me here all by myself to try and tell my Pa that monkeys destroyed the place and then disappeared!  I want the three of you – or your dead bodies.  I need proof!” Joe shouted and began to check around the yard and outbuildings.  He knew that he needed some kind of evidence that a bunch of chimpanzees were the ones responsible for all the damage done to the house and to his body.  There was no way possible that Pa would believe his story without some kind of proof and Little Joe knew it.

************

More than two hours later, after a thorough search all around the area, Joe came up empty when he tried to find where the three destructive monkeys had run off.  He haplessly gave up on finding them and had to attempt to patch his injuries as well as trying to straighten up the place, though it was an insurmountable challenge.  Rummaging through the medical supplies, Little Joe was able to find his old splint and placed it on his right wrist before trying to doctor the cut on his foot.  He also cleaned the paint off his boots so he would be prepared for later when he was sure he’d be taking a little trip out to the barn next to his father.  Joe was just finishing pulling his father’s mattress back up onto the bed frame when the sound of riders coming into the yard stopped him from tidying up anymore.  His blood ran cold when he thought about what was going to happen next.

*** I guess this is all my fault for not being more specific when I pray.  Last night I asked for no robber, vicious dog attack, or anyone who would make Cochise set the barn on fire.  I guess I should’ve added to that no attack by evil monkeys! *** Joe thought as he prepared for the upcoming inquisition.

************

“We’ll put the horses and the buckboard away after supper,” Ben announced as he entered the house followed closely behind by his two sons.

“Hey, why’s it so dark in here?” Adam questioned, confused as he stopped next to the credenza alongside his father.

“Yeah – hey what’s with those lanterns, Pa?” Hoss added and pointed across the room to the hearth.

Ben stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed that the lamp above the dining table wasn’t lit nor was his lamp next to his favorite chair by the fireplace.

“Joseph!” Ben’s voice thundered as he made his way to the staircase.

Little Joe drew in a deep breath and peered down at the living room where his brothers and father stood.  He already spied the stern gaze that Pa was sending his way.

“Hi, Pa, did you three have a good day?” Joe asked as he apprehensively descended the stairs with a slight limp.

Surveying his youngest as he drew closer, Ben couldn’t help noticing the splint on the boy’s right wrist nor the way he was partially limping down the stairs towards him.  When Joe made it to the first landing, Ben could also see that he had a black eye.

Drawing in a deep breath and trying his best not to yell too much just yet, Pa glared over at the boy and answered, “We had a good day, and you?”

Little Joe shook his head and winced his face waiting for the yelling to begin.  “Um – Pa – I got the smokehouse all done and all my regular chores along with it.”

“Why are there kerosene lanterns on the fireplace, Joseph?” Pa asked and waited for his youngest to draw closer, but the boy had kept his distance not advancing from the first landing yet.

Little Joe gave a slight shrug to his shoulders and replied, “Well – you see – I needed to get some more lights because some sort of got broke, Pa.”

“I knew it,” Adam muttered and watched as his father shot him a stern glare.

“What lights got broken, Joseph?”

“Well – there’s the one next to your chair, Pa,” Joe began to try to explain but Pa cut him off.

“Which chair?” Ben responded angrily.

“Um – Pa – I guess both of your chairs.  There’s the light next to your red chair,” Joe pointed still wincing his face in preparation for his father’s shout.  “And then there’s the one above your chair at the dining table, Pa.”

Hoss picked up one of the lanterns and made his way into the dining room.  “The light above the table is gone and the window behind your chair is busted too, Pa,” He called across the room.

“Joseph?  Why is the window broken in the dining room?”

“Well, you see, Pa –,” Joe began but was interrupted by Adam’s call from the study.

“Pa – the window behind your desk is busted again.  I was wondering why it was so cold in here!” Adam exclaimed.

“Yeah, it’s cold in the dining room too,” Hoss hollered across the room shaking his head.

“Well close those shutters!” Ben demanded and watched as Hoss did as he had been instructed before he turned back towards Joe.  “There are broken windows in the house and broken lamps evidently too, Joseph.  Now – would you care to explain why that is?”

“Not really,” Joe muttered as he looked down at the stairs.

“What!” Ben shouted and took a few steps up towards his son.

“Sorry, Pa – just thinking out loud,” Joe apologized fearfully.

“Come down here,” Ben growled easing back down the steps.  He pointed for his son to stand next to him.

*** What am I supposed to say to him now?  Am I really going to stand there next to Pa and tell him that monkeys destroyed the house? *** Joe thought to himself.

“Joseph!” Ben yelled to jar the boy into doing as he had been told.

“Coming, Pa,” Joe nodded and made his way down the stairs and over to his pa.

“Everything’s knocked over on your desk, Pa.  And your new brandy decanter is gone,” Adam called still standing in his father’s study.

Ben simply turned and offered his youngest a scathing glare as he waited for an explanation.

“I didn’t have a chance to clean down here yet.  Your brandy decanter –well it kind of got busted too.  I did pick that up, but I didn’t get to everything that got messed up down here – I was busy trying to clean your bedroom, Pa.  And I had to bring lights down here first,” Joe began.

“My brand-new expensive imported brandy decanter, Joseph?  I had to wait almost two months for that to come in after you broke the last one.  It’s broken too?”

“I’m sorry, Pa – it got busted too,” Joe nodded and closed his eyes waiting for the eruption from his father.

“And, Young Man, are you saying that my bedroom is messed up as well?” Pa continued, growing louder as he raised his eyebrows in gesture.

“Yes, Sir – it got messed up so I was straightening it up right before you got here.”

“This I have to see!” Ben announced and began to go up the stairs.

Little Joe caught his father’s arm, stopping his progress.  “Pa – if you’re going up there, you’d better take one of those lanterns on the hearth.”

“I have my own lamps, Joseph!”

“Well – the plain truth is – you don’t anymore, Pa,” Joe offered weakly.

Ben turned from the stairs and groaned as he closed his eyes.  He was beginning to get that headache again, the one whose source was the young man who stood there looking weakly up at him now.  “What do you mean I don’t have my lamps?”

“Pa – they got busted.”

“How did they get busted, Young Man?” Ben queried in a low controlled voice.  He grabbed his son’s arm and held on tightly to the boy.

“Now – that’s a long story, Pa,” Little Joe stammered.

Ben leaned over and reached towards his youngest.  Joe flinched his face presuming that his father was about to hit him.  He had never slapped his face before, but Joe figured that there was always a first time for everything.

“Joseph?  Why are there feathers in your hair?” Ben asked as he pulled a few off the boy’s head and held them out in front of him.

“Oh – well – those –um –they’re from your pillows, Pa.  They kind of got ripped open.”

Ben groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose feeling the advancing headache which was growing fiercer the longer he listened to Little Joe’s very sparce explanation.

“Hey, Pa?” Hoss called from the dining room.  “You think we could eat before you clobber Little Joe?”

Ben groaned again and replied, “Fine – you and Adam can go ahead and eat.  I’ll wait awhile because for some strange reason, I’ve just lost my appetite.  Go get that chicken potpie out of the oven.”

Little Joe watched as Hoss was getting ready to walk into the kitchen.  He knew he had to stop him somehow.  “Pa – the potpie – well it’s – it’s –,” Joe stopped suddenly fearing the reaction he was about to get from both Pa and the always hungry Hoss.

“It’s what?” Pa asked frustrated.

“It’s burnt up,” Joe announced.

“Burnt up!” Hoss shouted and his face took on a very angry countenance.  “How could you burn up a potpie that you weren’t supposed to touch, Little Brother?”

“I didn’t do it!” Joe yelled and then felt the strong squeeze to his arm from his father’s hand.

“If you didn’t ruin our dinner then who did?” Ben asked warily.  “Did a robber come in again and decide that instead of stealing any money he was going to burn up our meal and then destroy the place, Joseph?”

“No, Sir,” Little Joe began.  “It wasn’t any robber.”

Hoss and Adam moved over to where both their father and brother stood, wanting to hear what wild yarn the kid was going to offer this time.

“Where the heck is the novel that I just bought?” Adam fumed.  He knew that he had left it there on the coffee table before he had gone to town.

“Probably where the throw pillows are!” Hoss pointed to the remnants left there in the fireplace.

“Joseph, who did all of this?  Was it you who burnt up our dinner along with the pillows from the settee and your brother Adam’s book?” Ben asked once more, trying very hard not to lose control just yet.

“No, Sir, it wasn’t me — well – you see – it was vandals.  That’s the truth – a bunch of vandals came in here and messed up the place and broke things and threw stuff into the fireplace—and stuffed wood into the stove – which is why the potpie burned up before I could do a thing about it!”

Ben, Adam and Hoss cast disbelieving glances back and forth.

“Kid, just admit that you destroyed the place!  Did you go over to Angie’s again?  You know she’s married now—did you get her husband angry and make him come after you like you did last time?”

Little Joe sent a sneer over at his brother and answered, “No, I didn’t cause none of this!  I’m telling you that it was a bunch of vandals!” Joe returned indignantly.

“How many?” Ben asked with a piercing stare directed at his youngest.

“There were three of them, Pa.”

“So – you saw them, is that right, Joseph?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“So, three men just rode up in our yard and broke into our house and ruined our dinner after they destroyed the place?  Is that what you’d have me to believe?”

“No, Pa- they didn’t ride into the yard.”

“Then how did they get in here?”

“Um – I think they walked up to the house and then they climbed in my bedroom window, Pa,” Joe replied and winced his face readying for the forthcoming shout.

“Just hit him already, Pa,” Adam sighed.

“Not yet,” Ben announced staring over at his eldest.  “Joseph, you’re saying that three men climbed in your window and tore up the place, right?”

“Yes, Sir – well that is — three vandals did that, Pa,” Joe nodded as he sneered over at Adam again, unamused by what he had said.

“Where were you at the time?”

“At first – well — I was doing my chores and painting the smokehouse.  I did a really fine job, Pa – you’re really going to be pleased!”

“Joseph, don’t try to whitewash me,” Ben warned.  “Last time – six weeks ago you got off without a trip to the barn even though you sure did deserve to go there with me after what you did to this place.  Tonight, however it’s getting more and more likely that the two of us will be taking a little walk out there very soon.”

Little Joe looked down at the floor and sighed wearily.  He knew that his story was only going to get more unbelievable and he dreaded it.

Hoss stared at his little brother and, though he was starving and not at all happy that the potpie was ruined, he felt sorry for him.  He offered, “Little Joe—did you recognize any of them fellers?”

“No, Hoss – I can honestly say that I never saw any of the three before in my life.”

“Describe them,” Adam jumped in his eyebrows narrowing much like his father’s at the time.

Little Joe winced his face and grew quiet.  He didn’t want to address his brother’s question, not ever.

“Joseph?” Ben said and squeezed the boy’s arm again to garner his compliance.

“Well, they had dark hair — all of them.”

“How tall were they?” Adam interrogated his little brother.

Joe rolled his eyes and then angerly sneered over at his brother once more.

“Joseph, answer the question.”

“They were kind of short, Pa.”

“How short, Little Joe?” Adam continued with a smirk.

“Just short!” Joe yelled over at Adam.

“Shorter than you, Joseph?”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe nodded, not offering more than he had to at the time.

Adam and Hoss exchanged knowing grins. They both knew that their little brother was stalling as he usually did when he had been caught in a lie.

“If they were shorter than you then why couldn’t you take them, Joe?  Were they armed?” Adam wasn’t going to let go of his cross-examination.

“One of them was,” Joe nodded.

“And you weren’t?” Adam continued.

“No!” Joe shouted and almost broke free from his father’s tight grasp to go after his oldest brother to stop him from questioning him any further.

“Why?  Weren’t you wearing your gun, Little Brother?” Hoss jumped in.

“No – I told you I didn’t have my gun!”

“So, you couldn’t get to your gun, is that it, Joseph?”

“No, Sir — I couldn’t because the one who was armed – well he was using my gun,” Little Joe answered in a whisper.

“I see,” Ben nodded and drew in another deep breath knowing that he’d be making the walk to the barn with his youngest very soon.  “Three short men crawled inside our house, and they destroyed a great deal of it though they came unarmed.  However, they left with your gun?”

“No, Pa – I got my gun back from the one who took it,” Joe explained.

“If you got your gun back from him then why didn’t you hold the three of them until we got home?” Adam asked, smiling.  He knew where his little brother would end up later that night and it wasn’t somewhere he’d want to be going.  It would seem like Little Joe would soon be getting a very necessary talking to out in the barn and Adam didn’t feel the least bit sorry for the kid because he figured that the boy had told his share of whoppers the last few months and he had it coming to him.  He was also very mad at the kid for burning up his new novel and wanted to see him punished for doing it.

“Pa, tell Adam to mind his own business!” Joe complained loudly.

“Answer the question, Joseph,” Ben demanded.

“I couldn’t get to any of the vandals because the one holding my gun used up all my bullets shooting up the place, so I had to reload my gun while they ran into the kitchen.  By the time I got there they had gone.  Now that’s the truth, Pa!”

“How tall were they, Joe?” Adam smiled over at his brother.

“Shut up, Adam!” he yelled.

“Answer the question, Young Man,” Ben demanded once again.

“About three feet,” Joe replied, his voice softer than a whisper.

“How’s that again?” Ben asked, turning the boy to face him.

“Three feet,” he muttered not much louder.

“Did you say three feet tall?” Adam questioned his brother with a smirk on his face.

“Pa – why can’t he stay out of this?  I don’t need everyone asking me questions!” Joe yelled.

“Are you saying that the men who came in here were all three feet tall, Joseph?”

“No, Sir.”

“They weren’t three feet tall then?” Ben asked again.

“The vandals were three feet tall, Pa.”

“Isn’t that what I just asked, Joseph?” Ben replied exasperatedly.

“You asked if the men who came in here were three feet,” Joe answered.

“Then – they weren’t men?  What were they – women?”

“I don’t think so, Pa.”

“You mean you can’t tell a man from a woman?” Ben questioned, raising his eyebrows.

“Not these kinds of vandals, Pa – they didn’t have clothes on.”

With that statement the three men all looked back and forth at each other and then over to Little Joe.

“Are you saying they were all naked, Joseph?” Ben returned incredulously.

“Well — yeah I guess you could say that,” Joe nodded with a slight grin over the thought.

Hoss groaned and said, “I’m lost.  What kind of men or women break into a house butt naked, Little Joe?”

“Evil ones, Hoss,” Joe insisted.

“So, then you’re saying that either three-foot-tall men or women came into our house and tore up the place, right?” Ben continued.

“Vandals, Pa – vandals,” Little Joe nodded.

“Little Joe – if they were naked then how come you couldn’t tell if they were men or women?” Adam asked, grinning as he put his brother on the spot.  “Pa, maybe you should finish asking Joe these questions out in the barn – it looks like that’s where he’s going to end up tonight!”

“Adam, stop antagonizing your brother, and Joseph answer his question right this minute!” Pa yelled at both of his sons while Hoss stood back trying to stay away from his father’s wrath.

“Okay I couldn’t tell because they had hair all over their darn bodies that’s why!  Pa, make Adam shut up, will you?” Joe fussed and attempted to throw a punch, but his right hand was in a splint and his left arm was being held by his father.

“Wait just a minute, Joseph.  You’re saying that all these men or women—they all had hair all over their bodies so you couldn’t tell whether they were male or female, is that right?”

“Vandals, Pa – vandals and yeah that’s right.  The vandals had hair all over them so I couldn’t tell.”

Adam held his right hand up to his chin and thought for a few minutes before adding, “Little Joe, you keep correcting Pa every time he says men or women.  All you keep replying is that they were vandals.  Is there some reason why you don’t want to say what they were?”

“I said what they were!  They were vandals!” Joe shouted.

“Were they human?” Adam returned smiling.

To that question Little Joe had to drop his head and figure out what he should say.

“Joseph?  Why are you having trouble answering your brother’s question?” He asked warily.

“I wish you’d ask the questions, Pa – Adam is just trying to get me into trouble!” Joe insisted.

“It’s too late for that, Young Man, you’re already in trouble,” Ben returned sternly.  “Now answer the question.”

“I don’t remember what he said, Pa,” Joe returned quietly.

“Were these vandals of yours human?” Adam jumped in, putting Joe on the spot again.

“Joseph?”

Little Joe bit at his bottom lip before looking back up at his father.  “No,” He whispered.

“Ah Ha!  I knew it!” Adam said gleefully.  “So, some three feet tall hairy vandals came inside here and smashed up the place and grabbed your gun and I guess shot up the place, right, Little Joe?”

“Make him stop, Pa,” Joe complained.

“Joseph,” Ben paused and forced his gaze.  “Are you saying that something not human did all of this?”

With a slight nod Joe replied, “Yes, Pa.”

“I don’t believe this,” Hoss sighed and stared over at Adam.

“Joseph, what came into our house?”

“Monkeys, Pa—it was three monkeys,” Joe returned and readied for what was coming next.

Hoss laughed and reached over and patted his brother’s back.  “Oh, come on, Little Brother, just go ahead and tell us how you tore up the place and then we’ll go in there and find something to eat for supper.”

“Joseph?  Are you trying to tell me that three monkeys did all this damage and took your gun and shot up the place?”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe nodded as he stared into his father’s eyes.

Ben shook his head and frowned.  “Joseph, you’ve spoon fed me a lot of malarky over the years, but this story takes the cake!” He exclaimed angrily.

“No, Pa – one of the monkeys took the cake – and then it threw it at me.  Part of it is still in my hair!” Joe returned as he pointed up at his head to prove his case.

Ben’s left hand dropped down to his belt buckle as his anger grew.  He presumed that he’d be taking it off very soon due to his son’s very flagrant lies.

“Joseph, I have no idea why you’ve torn up this house – and why you’ve come up with this cockamamie story of yours.  You tricked me – yes, you lulled me into a false sense of security and then you went ahead and topped the last two times I left you here alone!  Young Man, you got off easy last time – but I just can’t let you off the hook now.  Would you care to recant any of your story before I take you into the barn for a very necessary talking to?”

Joe frowned and shook his head.  He realized that his bizarre explanation was hard to swallow but if he had lied it would have gotten him into trouble eventually.  *** Whoever said that honesty was the best policy never had monkeys break into their house! *** Joe thought to himself as he looked over at his two brothers.  At least Hoss was wearing a sympathetic expression on his face, however Adam looked as though he was very pleased over the prospect of seeing him being carried off to the barn.

“Do whatever you want to, Pa,” Joe returned resolutely.  *** Oh well, a trip out to the barn and a necessary talking to is rough but spending the day dodging bullets sent from a monkey is a lot rougher, I guess.  Besides, I did kind of get out of a tanning last time by getting bit by Angie’s dog, so I suppose I have this one coming. *** Joe mused to himself.

“It’s not that I want to do this, Joseph.  But you are forcing me to,” Ben corrected.  “I mean do you honestly expect me to believe that a monkey shot up this house with your gun?”

“No, Sir, I don’t,” Joe shook his head and sighed.  He didn’t believe it himself and he had seen it with his own two eyes.

“Why don’t you just tell Pa the truth, Little Brother, so you don’t have to go to the barn with him?” Hoss tried to encourage his brother, never wanting to see him get punished.

“It’s okay, Hoss, I’ll go out to the barn,” Joe sighed resolutely and turned to look at his father.  “I’ll be out there waiting for you, Pa.”

**********

Ben nodded and watched the boy head for the front door.  Once Little Joe left the room he looked over at Adam and Hoss.

“I’m surprised he’s taking this so well.  He looks like he doesn’t have any fight left in him which does make me wonder what he’s been up to today.  That boy usually fights me tooth and nail when he knows he’s going to get a tanning.”

“Pa, the kid’s gotten into trouble a lot of times and you’ve not come down on him, maybe he realizes that his lies have finally caught up with him?” Adam offered his own explanation.

“Shoot if it was me, I’d come up with a better story just to prevent Pa from giving me a necessary talking to!” Hoss exclaimed thinking of the times that he’d ended up in the barn with his father.

Ben laughed and nodded over to his middle boy.  “The big difference between you and your little brother is that you could never make up the outlandish tales that Joseph does, Hoss!”

Hoss chuckled and returned, “Yeah, Little Joe sure has a very good imagination.  But did he think he’d get away with telling you this kind of malarky, Pa?”

Ben just groaned and shook his head, “I don’t know what’s going on with that boy.  But he refuses to tell me why he tore up this house so there’s nothing else to do but punish him.  I guess I’d best get out there.  It’s not something I enjoy— but he’s my son – and I’ve got to stop him from destroying this place and lying about it.  Maybe he has some kind of issue about being left alone?  I probably need to talk to Doc about it.  Okay, I’ll be back as soon as the deed is done – and then we’ll make something for supper.”

“I wonder what he did to that cake for real, Pa?” Hoss asked, his stomach growling just thinking about what he missed out on.

“It was in his hair – or at least some icing was.  As to what Joseph did with it and why– I have no idea.  Excuse me, Boys,” Pa answered and turned for the door.

************

Little Joe lit the lantern just inside the barn door and groaned.  His right wrist hurt, as did the cut on the bottom of his foot.  However, he knew that in a few minutes’ time those injuries would pale in comparison to how his backside would be feeling once his father was done with his “necessary talking to”.  Joe slowly made it over to his horse’s stall.

“I wish that I’d never saved this darn barn from burning down a few months ago.  Maybe if there wasn’t a barn there wouldn’t be any “necessary talking to’s” around here!  Hey Cochise, you’d better look the other way.  This ain’t going to be pretty,” He called to his pinto.  The horse whinnied loudly and then turned away from her master.  “I might just as well get ready for Pa and his belt,” Joe said and untucked his shirttails.  He leaned against the stall and just waited for his father’s arrival.

*************

Ben drew in a deep breath as he pulled the front door open in preparation to go out to the barn.  Both Hoss and Adam walked out behind their father to offer him moral support since they knew that it was never easy for him to offer up a necessary talking to.

“Well, I’d better just get this over with now,” Ben sighed and began to cross the front yard when a rider came into view.  He looked up to see Sherrif Roy Coffee.

“Hello, Ben – hi there Adam – Hoss!” Roy sang out as he dismounted at the front hitching post next to where the Cartwright brothers had left their mounts.  He tied his reins up and walked over to the three men.

“Roy?  What brings you out so late?” Ben asked, offering his hand to the lawman.

Roy shook the outstretched hand and replied, “Got me some trouble, Ben.  I was hoping that you’d loan me a couple of your boys to help.”

“What is it?” Ben returned with a questioning look on his face.

“Seems that this traveling carnival was heading over to Carson City, but they only made it as far as the southeastern boundary of the Ponderosa when a wagon wheel came loose and it dumped over a couple of cages and some animals got out.  Now I got to try and help find them.”

“Carnival?  What kinds of animals?” Ben asked though he was beginning to rethink the way he had dismissed his son’s earlier explanation about what had done the damage to the house.

“Seems that three chimpanzees got out along with one very mean tiger, Ben.  The monkeys I’m not all that concerned with but that tiger—well I sure could use Adam and Hoss if you can spare them?”

Hoss shared a glance with his brother and smiled, “Guess Little Joe was telling the pure truth there, Big Brother.”

Adam shrugged his shoulders and replied, “It’s hard to believe it – but I guess our little brother wasn’t lying for a change.”

“You two boys grab a couple rifles and head out with Roy.  I’ve got to go and eat some crow out in the barn.  Now you be mighty careful, you hear?”

“We will, Pa.  Roy – it’ll only be a minute – let’s go grab our gear, Hoss,” Adam announced and they both walked back inside the house leaving the sheriff standing alone in the yard.

**************

Ben was feeling terrible as he walked to the barn.  He was filled with regret for not believing anything that his youngest had told him that night.  Pa hadn’t even asked him why he was wearing a splint or inquired why he was limping.  He made a mental note to fuss over the boy thoroughly once they got inside the house.  Walking through the doorway he spotted Little Joe leaning against Cochise’s stall with his shirttails hanging down and his hands gripping the railing in preparation for the tanning to commence.  It was at that very moment that Pa spied the glow of two big eyes just a couple yards from where his son stood.

“Joseph–,” Ben choked out, fear gripping him the moment that he realized that there was a full-sized tiger within striking distance of Little Joe.  “Joseph, don’t move!”

“Yeah – yeah – I know, Pa, I’m not going to move don’t worry.  Go ahead I’m ready,” Joe responded flatly, still facing away from his father.

“No, Joseph – I’m serious,” He began again but was cut short by his son.

“I know you’re serious, Pa, go on let me have it.  I ain’t gonna protest you doing it this time.”

“Joseph, you’re in danger!” Ben began once more.

“Yeah, I know I am.  But, after what those darned monkeys did to me, I doubt your belt can do any worse.  I’m ready, Pa – can we just get it over with?”

Ben slowly inched over to the boy and gently settled both of his hands on his son’s shoulders.

Joe was surprised by his father’s move and turned around to figure out what he was doing.

“Don’t move, Boy,” Ben whispered when he noticed that his son’s eyes had finally homed in on the tiger.

“Hey, Pa?”

“Yes?”

“Are you seeing this too, or is it just me again?”

“No, Joseph, I see it too, it’s real,” He returned quietly trying hard to remain very still so as not to spook the tiger.

Joe’s voice fell to a whisper as he continued, “Then that’s a really big mountain lion?  I’ve never seen an orange one with stripes before, Pa.”

“Joseph, that’s a tiger and it was part of a traveling carnival – a wagon lost one of its wheels and a couple of cages fell out.  Roy just came over to tell us that three monkeys and one tiger escaped.”

“Gosh, Pa, I was hoping that I had been lying about all of this,” he replied full of irony in his tone of voice.  “Pa, you don’t have to worry – because if that tiger decides to eat anyone you know darn well it will be me who will end up being its supper!”

“It’s going to be alright, Joseph.  We’re going to calmly inch our way to the barn door.”

“Okay, Pa,” He agreed.

“And Joseph?”

“Yeah?”

“Just in case—well – in case anything was to happen to me – well I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for not believing your story.”

Joe felt his father’s hands still on his shoulders readying to make their way to the door.  “It’s okay, Pa – I didn’t believe me either and it happened to me.”

“How did you hurt your wrist by the way?” Ben whispered.

“Oh, the monkeys,” Joe responded quietly as the two of them began their very slow exit out of the barn.

“And – I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about it when I came in, Joseph – but I did notice that you were limping.  How did that happen?”

“Those evil monkeys threw Hop Sing’s new canisters down on the floor and I stepped on a piece of one and it ended up cutting my foot, Pa,” he explained.

“Hop Sing’s canisters?” Ben groaned at the thought of yet another set being destroyed.

“Sorry, Pa – -but it was the monkeys not me.  I don’t have to pay for these damages, do I?” Joe asked meekly.

“No, Son – but when I get my hands on that carnival owner, he’s going to get a big bill from me!  Hey, were you walking in your bare feet?”

“No, Sir — I had my socks on.  You know I painted the smokehouse – and I was just getting some paint off me when the monkeys began to attack.”

“Where’d you get that black eye?” Ben continued to whisper as he watched the placement of each retreating step that both he and his son took.

“Monkeys, Pa – they threw a glass at my head, and it hit my eye,” Joe sighed.  “That was before that one monkey grabbed my Colt.”

“Just the thought of a monkey firing at you scares me to death, Joseph!  You could’ve been killed!”

“Yeah, I know that’s what I was trying to tell you in the house, Pa,” Joe remarked as the two of them almost made it to the door, very glad that the tiger had yet to move from its position.

“I’ll fuss over you and then tend to your wounds when we get inside, okay?  You know — kind of make up for all the yelling that I did?” Ben grinned when he noticed that they were about to cross into the front yard.  “Get ready, Boy, the moment we’re outside this barn we’re going to bar the door.”

“I’m ready, Pa – but I don’t like leaving Cochise in there.  Do those things eat horses?”

“I doubt it,” Ben tried to reassure his son as they finally made it out of the barn.  He reached over and slammed the wood plank down across the door securing it.

“Thank the Good Lord!” Ben shouted and pulled his youngest into his arms holding onto him.  “Joseph, I’m so sorry for all that I said – and what I almost did!”

Joe smiled as he felt his father’s arms around him holding him tight.  It was a whole lot different from the way he had thought the night was going to end.  “It’s okay, Pa, if I was you, I would’ve done the same.”

“I’m just so thankful that we got away from that tiger,” Ben announced as he combed his fingers through his son’s hair trying to relieve his guilt by showing the boy some compassion.

“I’m just so thankful that there was a tiger in there, Pa – it saved me from getting a tanning!” Joe quipped.  “I’m also thankful that the monkeys weren’t in the barn.  Well – unless they were before I made it inside.  Hey maybe that tiger did me two favors?  It saved me from that “necessary talking to” and maybe it ate those darn monkeys!”

“Amen to that, Son,” Ben chuckled as he watched Hoss and Adam coming out of the house.  He called over to his sons and Roy.  “No need to go anywhere – that tiger is locked inside our barn!”

Roy exchanged a confused glance with Hoss and Adam and hurried over to Ben.  “The tiger was in the barn this whole time, Ben?”

“Well, I don’t know how long it’s been in there but it’s there now.  Can you go and fetch that owner so he can get it out of there safely, Roy?”

“Surest thing you know,” The sheriff nodded and turned for his horse.  He untied his reins and launched up into his saddle.  “Good thing we’ve only got those monkeys to look for.  At least they’re harmless,” Roy called down to Ben and Joe.

“Harmless?  Roy they’re more dangerous than that tiger!  If you spot them shoot them on sight!” Joe exclaimed angrily.

“You want me to kill monkeys, Little Joe?” Roy asked very perplexed by what the young man had said.

Little Joe looked up at his father and groaned.  “It’s only fair – those evil vandals almost killed me – not to mention what they did to our house!  And I almost got a tanning due to them too!” Joe threw in for good measure.

“It’s alright, Joseph, calm down,” Ben whispered and patted the boy’s shoulder.

“I’ll fetch the carnival owner – like as not he’s found those monkeys by now.  Be back soon!” Roy insisted and hurriedly rode out of the yard.

Hoss and Adam approached their little brother and father.

“Little Joe, you’ve told so many stories in your life – well I naturally assumed that you were lying,” Adam offered a half-hearted apology.

Ben smiled and patted Joe’s shoulder and announced, “I told you to have more faith in your little brother, Adam.”

“Hey, you were about to give him a necessary talking to, Pa,” Adam frowned.  “It wasn’t just me who thought that the kid was telling a lie.”

Clearing his throat Ben fought to think of something in response to what his eldest had said but couldn’t come up with anything.

Joe noticed his father’s hesitation and jumped in, “Oh, it’s okay.  I know I don’t always tell the complete truth, Pa.  No harm done – well not by you – but those monkeys sure put me through a lot today.”

Ben draped his arm across the boy’s shoulder and smiled down at him.  “Let’s get you inside, Joseph, and I’ll patch you up.”

Hoss nodded over to his little brother and said, “Short Shanks, the next time you spin a yarn I’ll have to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“Thanks, Hoss,” Joe grinned over at his brother.

“You two boys stay out here and make sure that tiger stays put until Roy gets back.  I’ve got to tend to your little brother now,” Ben called over to his older boys.  “Come on, Joseph, let’s see to those wounds of yours.”

“Hey, Pa?” Joe asked as he looked into his eyes.

“Yes, Son?”

“So – I’m not a trouble magnet anymore, right?  I mean it wasn’t me who did the damage to the house today — that was all done by those monkeys!  That means that nothing that happened here was my fault.”

Offering a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders, Ben chose his response carefully.  He still carried some guilt over not believing his son’s story about the monkeys.  He patted the boy’s shoulder and replied, “No, Son, you didn’t cause the damage – I’ll give you that.  But as for being a trouble magnet – I guess time will tell if you still draw trouble to you.”

Little Joe frowned and let out a tired sigh. “Okay, Pa, trouble does sort of find me – but it’s not my fault, now is it?”

Ben laughed and shook his head.  “Okay, Joseph, this time it wasn’t your fault.  Now, about tomorrow.  Unfortunately, your brothers and I are going to have to go back and testify at that trial again.  How would you feel about going to stay someplace safe for the day – like maybe Doc Martin’s office?”  Ben asked, growing a bit concerned about his son’s track record for staying home alone.  He reasoned that there was no use tempting fate again.

Little Joe’s laughter filled the night air.  He read the concern all over the faces of his father and brothers and replied, “Pa, that wouldn’t bother me in the least, it would be a whole lot safer there at Doc’s than staying here!”

Ben ruffled a hand through his son’s curly hair and nodded, “Good – maybe by being at Doc’s you won’t end up being a trouble magnet — at least for one day.  Now let’s go see to those injuries of yours!”

*** At least by staying over at Doc Martin’s there’s not much chance that I’ll run into any monkeys! *** Little Joe mused to himself as he walked inside the ranch house next to his father to get some badly needed doctoring along with a healthy dose of Pa’s comforting touch.

The End

Written by Wrangler

3/30/2026

(Dedicated to Rob the story consultant who came up with the idea of the tiger being in the barn.  I always give credit where credit is due!)

*** The writer is aware that chimpanzees are in the ape family, however people in the old west in the 1800’s wouldn’t have known that and would’ve considered them to be monkeys according to Google. ***