Summary:  My response entry for the Chaps and Spurs Mega Challenge. The three Cartwright boys lose their horses and have to seek shelter in a shack.  Rated: K (6,265 words)

The Lineshack

Author’s Notes:

Words for January: wolf, oak, ice, doorway, stove.

***

The biting wind squeezed through cracks in the walls of the old line shack and rattled around the room as the three men huddled closer to the old tin stove. They were wrapped in coats and blankets, but they still stretched their hands out to the stove’s warmth only to pull them back as the icy air caught their arms and chests. Outside the wind was even more violent, sweeping the ground bare in some places only to pile the snow in drifts in others.

“I’d swear there was a wolf outside with all the howling that wind’s doing.” The largest of the three muttered.

“Oh please, Hoss. There’s nothing out on a night like this.” The young man pushed his hands so close to the stove that they felt like they were on fire then he clenched them to his stomach. They felt like a pair of coals pressing up against his skin.

“Nothing but our horses.” The third one said.

They all looked away.

“Think they’ll make it back to the ranch?” the youngest finally broke the wind-filled silence.

“You’d better hope so.” The third man said. “Pa won’t be too thrilled if we lost three horses, not to mention the money in the saddlebags.” He sent a pointed look at the young man on his right.

“Ease up, Adam.” Hoss said. “You didn’t see the ice either.”

“I was in the back. Joe was the one…”

“Oh shove it.” Joe snapped. He wasn’t in the mood to argue. Yes, he’d been in front for the specific purpose of keeping an eye out for ice or any other hazards buried under the snow, and yes, he hadn’t seen the patch of ice that sent all three of their horses sliding sideways. But Adam didn’t need to harp on it.

“I’m just saying…”

“I know what you’re saying. You’ve already said it about four times now.” Joe hunched closer to the stove. “The horses will go home and we’ll walk the rest of the way tomorrow. There’s that dead oak out back, so we won’t run out of firewood and freeze. I know you were looking forward to sleeping in bed after on the trail all day, but I’m sorry, you’ll just have to spend a miserable night in the cold.” He spat out the words and then sat glowering like the coals at the bottom of the stove. He was only partially irritated at Adam. The other part was mad at himself and their bad luck for having to weather the night here as well as worrying about his horse. Cooch had sprung right up and dashed away quickly enough for Joe to see that he wasn’t injured, but it was a cold night, and the Ponderosa was a ways away.

Adam glanced at him. The anger slipped out of his eyes, and then a small smile twitched the edge of his mouth. He wasn’t as mad at Joe as he was pretending to be, only annoyed at the prospect of a dismal night. “I’m not worried about the cold so much as I am about Hoss’ snoring.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hoss demanded incredulously.

Joe looked up, a grin tugging at his own mouth, his grumpiness already forgotten. He faked a moan. “I forgot about that. Maybe I’ll risk the cold and start walking. Hoss sounds like a grizzly bear with a head cold.”

“I do not!” Hoss crossed his arms and straightened up haughtily, but a blast of cold wind made him shiver and lean back toward the stove. His eyes snapped at Joe and Adam. “You two are just looking for things to complain about.”

“Hoss, you’ve snored since the day you were born.” Adam said. “There wasn’t a night crossing the territories that I didn’t go to sleep thinking that it was a good thing we were on the plains because there was no way we’d be able to tell the difference between you and a potential avalanche.”

Joe laughed so hard he nearly fell off the bucket he was sitting on onto the scratched and scarred wood floor. Hoss glared from one brother to the other.

But Adam wasn’t done. Grinning, he glanced at his younger brother. “Hey Joe, did Pa ever tell you about how Hoss sleepwalked when he was little?”

“Yes.”

“And about the night we couldn’t find him?”

“No.” Joe, and even Hoss, looked at him curiously.

Adam leaned forward, glad for the distraction from the cold as he began the story. “Well usually when he sleepwalked he went either to the kitchen or to the barn and curled up with this old hound we used to have. But one night we couldn’t find him.” Adam glanced at Hoss who was looking interested in spite of himself. “He came in and woke me up, and we looked all around the house and the barn and the woods nearby. Nothing. We didn’t have a whole lot of hands back then, but the ones we had were looking everywhere, and we still couldn’t find him, so Pa sent the hands out of the yard and farther away from the house. He even sent a few down to the lake. And without all the people hollering and clambering around, we could hear it, a low noise coming from upstairs that sounded like someone sawing through gravel. We followed the sound to Pa’s room, and there he was – curled up under the bed. No one had thought to look there.” Adam chuckled at the memory.

“I don’t remember that.” Hoss blurted out.

“You were only four.”

“Or you’re making it up.”

“Just admit it and be done with it, Hoss.” Adam said.

Joe opened his mouth to say something, and then grimaced as the door was suddenly wrenched free of the doorway by a sudden burst of wind. Instantly the three men clenched their coats tighter and flinched closer to the stove. Adam sighed.

“It’s going to be a long night.”

Author’s Notes:

Words for the month of February: Lunatic, Interval, Pining, Moonshine, Secondary.

Chapter 2

***

They managed to wrestle the door upright again and tie it off with some old rope that had been stashed in a corner of the shack. After adding one final knot to the intricate series of loops and ties, Joe stepped back to admire their work.

“Well if that doesn’t hold it, I don’t know what will.” He said, crossing his arms in satisfaction. Being up and moving had definitely warmed him up, and he wasn’t feeling so bad about spending the night in the shack. After all, he’d been in worse places.

“Remember when you and I were locked in Widow Gower’s cellar for almost two days?” he said to Hoss.

“What?” Adam whirled to face his brothers as Hoss nodded knowingly.

“Don’t think I’ve ever met anyone crazier than that woman.” He said. “And all we wanted was to help her.”

“Longest two day interval of my life.”

“When was this?” Adam demanded. “And why didn’t I hear about it?”

Joe rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up. But Hoss was already chuckling.

“Joe didn’t want Pa to know he was sneaking over to see Ellie Miller. Not after the way her pa tore into him in front of the whole church on Sunday.”

Now it was Adam’s turn to smile. That had definitely been one of the more eventful church services. Couple it with a sermon about honoring your father and mother, and there was no way Joe would have a shot with Ellie. But he should have known that wouldn’t stop his little brother from trying.

“The man’s a lunatic.” Joe muttered. “Just because he had to use a mail order to get a wife he thinks any man who actually has allure is going to run around breaking girls’ hearts.”

“Well don’t you?” Adam asked with a grin. Joe glared at him.

“Well Joe’d been pining away for her for a couple of weeks when we went on a hunting trip where he got a big old buck, right on the second day. And just like our little brother, any time he does anything he thinks is impressive, the first thing he wants to do is tell a girl about it.”

“That’s not true!”

“It’s not?”

Joe squirmed under their looks. “It’s not completely true.”

“It’s more true than not.” Hoss said. “And it was especially true that day. All I heard the entire way down the mountain was you complaining and going on about how it wouldn’t take too long to swing by the Miller place.”

“If you’re going to tell the story stop exaggerating; that wasn’t all I talked about.”

“That’s all I heard.”

“Well maybe you oughta get the wax out of your ears.”

“Well maybe you oughta get it out of your head.”

“Alright!” Adam interrupted. “So I’m assuming Joe finally got his wish and you took a detour on the way home?”

“Oh boy did we take a detour.” Joe muttered. “We were going past the Gower farm when Hoss smelled smoke. So we swung over, and sure enough, there was smoke blowing out the window. The stove had caught fire.”

“Where was Widow Gower?”

“Not inside. We went in and put the fire out; it wasn’t that big. Then we turned around and nearly jumped out of our skins when we saw her standing outside the door just watching us.” Joe leaned forward on his seat. “Have you ever noticed how spooky her smile is?”

“No.” Adam pictured Widow Gower’s old leathery face, framed by stringy gray hair. “Actually I don’t think I’ve ever even seen her smile.”

“She smiled then. Gave me a shiver right down my back. But of course Hoss was oblivious as always.”

“What do you mean, as ‘always’?”

“You didn’t even notice anything strange; you just went right down into the cellar.”

“She said she had a pie down there that she’d give us for putting out the fire.”

“And you just went right down. Thinking with your stomach.”

“Well it’s better than what you think with.” Hoss muttered.

Adam sighed. “So she lured you into the cellar with pie. Was there a reason for that, or was she just plain crazy?”

“Oh she’s crazy.” Joe assured him. “But there was a reason – at least in her mind. Last thing she said before slamming the door on us was that she wasn’t born yesterday and she knows thieves when she’s sees them. And then Hoss started thinking with his head again and realized that maybe we were in trouble and that going down into a crazy woman’s cellar after the promise of pie wasn’t the best idea.”

Hoss snorted. “Well if you hadn’t been mooning after Ellie Miller after Pa…”

“I wasn’t the one who said we should play the Good Samaritan to every…”

“You said we ought to check on her!”

“You smelled the smoke!”

“You…”

“I’m assuming you two are simply reenacting the argument that ensued after the cellar door was locked on you.” Adam interjected.

Joe shrugged. “More or less.”

“We figured she’d go get Roy, and he’d come back and straighten out the whole mess. Joe was squirming something fierce because now Pa would find out he’d been off to see Ellie. Not very good company.”

“Well neither were you. All you did was moan about how there at least should have been a pie here because your stomach was as empty as a barrel of moonshine after a roundup.”

“You were hungry too! And if you weren’t so worried about Pa taking the skin off you, you might have realized it sooner and we wouldn’t have spent two days there.”

“She didn’t go for the sheriff?” Adam asked.

“She didn’t go for the sheriff.” Hoss said.

“Waiting for Roy was our first choice.” Joe explained. “When it became clear that he wasn’t coming, we went with our secondary choice: breaking out. And it was harder than it sounds.”

“We waited until what we assumed was night. It was kind of hard to tell since it was always dark in there, but we could smell her cooking supper. She was grilling up rabbit with some onions and…”

“Hoss.” Joe said. “I’m already hungry enough as it is.” He turned back to Adam. “Our strategy was simple: break down the door and then run like the devil and hope to find our horses on the way.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Adam said. “So what went wrong?”

“What makes you think something went wrong?”

“I can tell by the way you and Hoss are glancing at each other that there’s more to the story.”

“Yeah.” Joe shifted slightly. “We didn’t know she slept with a shotgun next to her bed.”

“But at least our horses were where we left them.”

“Good thing too. I don’t know how many more of those bullets I could have dodged.” He could still see it in his head: Widow Gower screaming and hollering enough to wake the dead and sending off shot after shot that somehow whizzed by him instead of finding their mark. He shuddered. “Never in a million years will I ever go near that place again.”

“Well at least Ellie’s father won’t have to worry.” Adam said. “But I remember that trip; you two brought home some game.”

“We went back up the mountain and shot the first skinny little thing that crossed our path.” Joe said. “Hoss was ready to eat his saddle, and we’d both had enough of adventures for a while.”

“You do always manage to find trouble.” Adam agreed. “I should have known better than to come with you on this trip.”

“Oh come on, Adam. At least we keep things interesting.”

Adam glanced around. “Yes.” He acknowledged. “You certainly manage to do that.

Chapter 3

***

Adam added some more wood to the rusty old stove, and the three scooted forward on their seats until they were hunched around it, listening to the wind rattle like old bones against the sides of the shack.

“I feel like I’m sitting inside a rusty old tin can.” Hoss muttered. “Good chance we’ll be too snowed in tomorrow to even be able to leave.”

“It’s not like there’s any rush anyway.” Joe muttered. He pressed his leg against the stove for a brief second of warmth before pulling away from the searing heat. “When a storm like this hits you know Pa will have us tinkering around the barn in the cold all day instead of letting us take it easy.”

The other two nodded, acknowledging the truth in Joe’s words. There weren’t many excuses for skipping out on a day’s work around Ben Cartwright.

“The way things are now is nothing.” Adam said. “You two weren’t around when we were trying to build a ranch out of nothing but spit and pure orneriness. Back then Pa even had us working Sunday afternoons. There was never an end of things to do, and it seemed like once you got one thing crossed off the list, there would be another twelve in its place.”

“I was around for some of that.” Hoss said.

“Some maybe. But once Pa married Marie he mellowed out a bit, slowed down, and that’s when he really changed. Sure he’s still bull headed and stubborn, but it’s nothing compared to before her.” He glanced sideways at Joe. “Not that you’d know it from how her son turned out.”

Joe didn’t answer; his mind was lost on his mother, adding a new layer to his mental image of her as he always did when he learned something new about her. Adam decided to leave him be for the moment and turned to Hoss.

“Remember the incident of the coon in the kitchen? He’d have stripped the skin off my backside for that, but Marie talked him out of punishing you.”

Hoss half grinned and half cringed as he remembered the event. “I didn’t know that. I thought I was in for a tanning for sure.”

“What happened?” Joe asked.

“It was Adam’s fault.” Hoss said.

“Now hold on…”

“Don’t you say a word, big brother, not one word. You and I both know that the whole madness wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t asked me to stand guard for you while you tried to sweet talk Elizabeth Billson.”

“Who?” Joe asked before Adam could spit out his protest.

“She came with her Pa to look at some horses Pa wanted to sell. He was a big man trying to start a messenger relay service between some army outposts, and Pa wanted to impress him so that maybe he’d consider buying solely from us.”

“He knew where he could get his hands on a dozen or so good horses.” Adam added. “So he invited Billson out to the ranch, and like Hoss said, his daughter Lizzy came with him.”

“Was she pretty?”

“She was enough for Adam.” Hoss laughed. “The only girl around, it didn’t matter what she looked like.”

“She was good looking.” Adam protested. “I do have standards.”

“But his standards don’t include lying to make an eighteen year old girl think he was older than fourteen.”

Joe stared at his brother in disbelief. “And she believed you?”

“Just because you look five years younger than your age doesn’t mean it runs in the family.” Adam said icily. Joe flashed him a saucy grin and looked back at Hoss.

“So he asked you to stand guard…”

“… while he showed her his horse. At least that was the excuse to go into the barn. Pa had taken Billson for a ride around the ranch. I was just walking by, minding my own business…”

“… with a baby coon he’d found in the woods.” Adam finished for him. “Another thing you missed, Little Joe, was Hoss’ penchant for trying to keep all sorts of animals as pets, from frogs, to spiders, to squirrels, to snakes. He even brought a wild hare home once and tried to keep it in Marie’s garden. Thankfully by the time you reached the age where you had a fascination for critters, he’d outgrown trying to bring home wild animals.” Adam cocked his head. “Actually I think the coon incident may have had something to do with that. That and the threat of never being able to sit down again from Pa.”

“What happened?” Joe asked, impatient with his brothers getting ahead of the story.

“Like I said, I was walking by the barn with the coon when Adam poked his head out and told me to keep an eye out and knock on the door when Pa came back.”

“And he didn’t notice you holding a raccoon?” Joe asked incredulously.

“I told you she was good looking, didn’t I?” Adam said archly.

“And I told you he was desperate, didn’t I?” Hoss retorted. “But I couldn’t very well stand in front of the barn trying keep a grip on a coon who was getting a little tired of being held, so I stuffed him inside a basket around the corner. It was empty; I didn’t know why it was there. Just seemed like a convenient place. Pa came back with Billson, I signaled to Adam, and we went inside to eat supper. I figured after supper it would be easier for me to hide him in the barn.” Hoss turned to Adam.

“The thought that a baby coon might not like to sit in a basket all afternoon didn’t occur to him.” Adam put in drily.

“You know Adam, I think I deserve a little more gratitude from you. Not only did I do a good job as a lookout, I didn’t even tell Pa about you and Lizzie, even when I was afraid he was gonna tan the living daylights out of me.”

“He’s got you there.” Joe said.

“Hoss, if you’d just used your common sense…”

“How was I supposed to know she would take the basket into the kitchen?” Hoss demanded. Joe winced.

“And the coon wasn’t happy to just stay put?”

“He was not.” Adam said. “Marie really was a plucky woman, but you can’t blame her for screaming when she went into the kitchen and saw a baby raccoon tearing away at her chicken dinner. And you can’t blame the baby raccoon for trying to find the quickest way out, or Billson for sitting right in its path as it leaped through the air on its way out. But you can blame Hoss for putting it in the basket.” Adam added the last part with a decisive look at his brother, as if daring him to argue.

“Or you can blame Adam for sneaking around with a girl behind Pa’s back.” Hoss said with his own sharp look. “A girl who thought that watching us try to catch a coon as it flew around the house like a mad bat was the funniest thing she’d ever seen.”

“I’m sure it did look funny.” Adam said. “It was also funny watching Hoss look sicker and sicker. I thought for sure he was going to throw up before we got the coon out. Once we finally did, we got Mr. Billson picked up off the floor and tried to get on with supper.”

“You did. I was sent to my room to sweat it out and wonder how long I would be flinching every time I sat down.”

“I still can’t believe he didn’t tan you.” Joe said. He could only imagine Pa’s reaction if it had been him.

“Billson still signed a contract, and Marie managed to talk Pa out of it, though he did tell Hoss that if he ever brought home another wild animal as a pet, he’d wish he would have gone flying out the door with that coon.”

Joe shook his head. “She must have had him wrapped around her finger.”

“That she did, Joe.” Adam said softly. He listened to the wind shrieking through cracks and holes and thought about the hole that she’d left when she had died. Granted, he and Marie had bumped heads a lot, and he’d been a lot more attached to Hoss’ mother and the memory of his own, but she’d been good for Pa, there was no denying that, and to Hoss as well. And she’d given them Little Joe. It didn’t seem fair that she’d only been with them for such a short time, especially since it had only taken that small amount of time for it to seem like she’d always been a part of the Ponderosa. It had taken a long while for Adam to get used to life without her.

“I’m going to get some more wood.” He said suddenly, standing. They really did need more wood if they were going to sit here all night, but besides that, he needed to clear his head. Somehow the mention of Marie conjured up thoughts of the other mothers he had lost and then the other women, and then just people in general who had left earth too soon. A lot of times it didn’t bear thinking about; you couldn’t spend your life in the past after all, but sometimes instead of clearing his throat and pulling a stiff lip he liked to let the faces and names slip through his mind one by one. After all, if he didn’t remember, who would? And they deserved to be remembered. So instead of answering Hoss’ and Joe’s questioning looks, Adam untied the door and slipped outside into the swirling frenzy of white.

Words for April: Barkin’ at a knot (wasting time), Hair in the butter (a delicate situation), Hobble your lip (shut up), Pull a kite (make a face), Scarce as hen’s teeth (rare).

Chapter 4

***

“He’s gonna wind up lost or with a broken ankle in all that snow.” Hoss muttered as Adam propped the door shut behind him. Joe stood to secure it against the wind.

“How mad do you think he’d be if we locked him out?” He asked with a smirk. Hoss shook his head but shared the grin just the same.

“Oh probably about as mad as that time we loosened his girth after church. Remember that?”

Joe’s laugh echoed against the low roof. “Right after he’d spent weeks sweet talking Mary Blount, and he’d finally asked her to a dance. Boy did he pull a kite after hitting the dirt.”

“He was barking at a knot anyway; she only wanted to make Johnny Miller jealous.”

“Yeah, well that didn’t make him hit me any easier.” Joe muttered. “And it wasn’t even my idea.

“No, but slipping Pa’s brandy in his coffee when Ellie Lawrence was over was.”

Joe shrugged, but his grin persisted. It had been a memorable night; that was for sure.

“He’s a tough one to get drunk.” He said.

Hoss nodded. They had had to make the coffee strong enough to keep him from noticing the brandy and then it had taken three cups before he was drunk enough for them to start adding more brandy and less coffee, all while keeping him from being suspicious and making sure Pa didn’t notice a thing. But the results had been worth it.

“When he pulled out the guitar and tried to play…” Hoss shook his head. “And then he forgot half the words to Clementine and tried to make them up. What was it he came up with?”

“‘Light she was, just like the sun that shimmers in your herring box eyes’, and that was one of his better lines. No wonder he never got married with us around.”

“Women worth anything are scarcer than hen’s teeth ‘round here, and a woman worth Adam’s time are even scarcer.”

“He wasn’t serious about her anyway. Just wanted to prove he could catch her.” Joe said, remembering the good old days when it had been easy to lure Adam into anything. Back when he’d been the arrogant older brother that had to be right about everything. And while usually Joe appreciated the less overbearing Adam, there were times when he missed the days of knocking his older brother off his high horse.

“Used to be our favorite game.” He mused.

“What’s that?”

“Seeing how many notches we could take him down in one swoop.”

“And his favorite game was seeing how many days we were limping after Pa caught us.” Hoss reflected that if they’d been caught every time they’d given Adam’s chain a good yank, he and Joe would still be having trouble sitting. Then again, there had been the few times when Hoss thought that Pa had let his younger sons teach his eldest a lesson while he’d hobbled his lip and turned a blind eye. It was a fine line he’d walked, he thought, with a lot of hair in the butter, to raise three sons practically alone. There had been plenty of times Hoss had thought that one or more of them would be strangled before they even made it to adulthood.

“Pa’s lucky none of us killed each other.” He decided, not even realizing he was speaking out loud.

“Hmm?” Joe looked up at Hoss. He’d been looking at the door with his head cocked sideways, as if he was listening for something.

“Is the snow getting any less?”

“Worse I think.” Joe tilted his head again. “I was actually listening for Adam. With the door tied shut, he’ll have to knock to get in. And I thought I heard him earlier, but I think it was just a branch scratching against the wall.”

“He’s been gone a while.” Hoss didn’t know how long he and Joe had sat in silence musing on the past, but the fire was burnt almost to coals. He watched the darkening shadows ripple over his little brother’s face.

“Be just like him to make us go out after him.” Joe muttered, but his eyes flashed worry.

Hoss stood and crossed the room to untie the door. He propped it open a crack and looked out into the night. The wind bit against his face, and blew snow into his ear and eyes, making him squint as much as the darkness did, but all he could see was an endless wall of swirling white.

Author’s Notes:

Words for the month of May: Simon, Butter, Leap, Cradle, Blind

Chapter 5

***

It was easy enough to gather more wood, or would have been anyway if it hadn’t been for the dark night lit only by swirling white snowflakes buffeted into Adam’s nose and mouth by the wind. He squinted his watering eyes and fumbled around blindly in the trees that crowded around the shack. At least they were close by.

“Should’ve made Joe do this.” he muttered to his armful of branches. A smile flickered over his face as he remembered the day a young Little Joe had declared that he was too old for filling the wood box to be his permanent chore.

“I’m a man now.” he had said, his chin sticking out of his round face making him look anything but. “I should have manly chores.”

“Oh?” Their pa’s face had been an almost unreadable mixture of sternness and disbelief, but Adam had seen a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. Joe hadn’t though, and his head had dropped slightly as he shuffled his boots against the floor. They were barely worn out and already almost too small; he was growing that fast.

“Come on, Pa. Fetching wood, getting the eggs, helping Hop Sing churn butter, it’s all stuff kids do. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“No.” The twinkle turned soft, almost sad. “No, you’re not. Alright then, I’ll find some manly chores for you to do.”

Joe had let out a decidedly unmanly whoop and had dashed off to tell Hoss. Adam caught sight of him leap off the porch before the front door clattered shut.

“The last one to kick the cradle over.” Ben had murmured more to himself than to Adam.

“Well, you knew it was coming.”

“Actually I’m surprised he waited this long.”

“What will you have him do?”

The twinkle returned, and this time Ben had let it spread over his entire face. “Oh, I have a few ideas.”

Now in the cold Adam let out a chuckle that evaporated as mist in the air in front of him. Joe had been about as tired as a person could be the following week. He had done everything from fixing fences to stacking hay to helping the foreman Simon break a couple of new stud colts they had recently purchased. But he hadn’t complained, at least not to Pa or Adam. Hoss had probably gotten quite a few earfuls.

“At least he’s stubborn.” Pa had said then. Adam repeated it to himself now. Stubborn, hardheaded – in more ways than one – and more full of mischief than a rabbit in springtime. Well maybe Adam had been too hard on him about the ice. After all, it could have happened to anyone.

Just as he had decided to go in and apologize to Joe, his feet slipped out from beneath him. The wood went flying, and Adam’s body collided with the ground. The snow helped to cushion his fall, but for a moment the ice beneath it knocked the wind out of him. He caught his breath and then caught it again as a flare of pain raced up his ankle. He bit his lip and rolled it and then gasped for breath. Was it broken, or just sprained? He pulled himself to his feet, using a tree for balance and took half a step forward. This time he slipped sideways instead of back, and his arms flailed out to catch his fall. The back of his head cracked against the tree, and he fell senseless into the snow.

Author’s Notes:

Words for the month of June: Babe, Legend, Lumberjack, Logging, Giant

Chapter 6

***

“Adam!”

The voice came from a long ways away. Then suddenly it boomed in his ear as if from a giant.

“Adam!”

Adam jerked upright and then fell backwards, clutching his ankle. Hoss helped him up.

“Adam, you’re about as dumb as a mule.”

“You’ve said that before.” He couldn’t feel too bad with his brother’s weight to support him.

Hoss snorted and raised his pistol to send off a shot. Almost instantly there was a responding one. They followed the sound back to the shack where Hoss gently settled Adam down on the floor next to the stove. Nearby Joe hovered like an anxious moth.

“Is it broken?”

“No.” Adam growled and swatted Hoss’ hand away. “It’s fine.”

“Just you let me be the judge of that. Joe get some snow to pack it with.”

“I’m cold enough without you wrapping me up in snow.” He knew Hoss wouldn’t listen anyway, and his ankle really did hurt. Already he could feel it swelling against his leather boot. He hissed through his teeth as Hoss pulled it off and sent another wave of pain up his leg and then back down to settle as a throb in his ankle. He looked down and winced, which Hoss and Joe were already doing. The foot was puffy and looked almost like a stuffed pillow under his sock.

“Not too much snow, Joe.” Hoss reached for the snow. “Don’t want him to get frostbite.”

“I appreciate it.” Adam scooted closer to the stove and leaned back on his hands as he tried to ignore the pain in his ankle and the tingling of his toes from both the ankle and the snow. How long was it until sunrise? Several hours still. And then how was he supposed to get back to the ranch? He shook his head to clear it. Worrying wasn’t helping.

“How does your foot feel?”

“About the same as when that mule stepped on it down at the logging camp. What was her name?”

Hoss’ lips twitched. “Babe.”

“Babe?” Joe nearly coughed on his question.

“The lumberjacks were lonely.” Adam supplied. “So they named their mule Babe and the stray coon that hung around Sweetheart. A few even kissed Babe when they got drunk enough. Of course then Hoss raised the bar the night he got drunk.”

“Adam!” Hoss glared.

“What?”

“Nothin’.” His glare could have cut glass. “Just something Adam promised never to say a word about.”

“Sorry, I forgot. Must have been the bump on my head I took out there. And my ankle. It’s hard to think clearly when there’s nothing to focus on except a shooting pain running up and down your leg.”

Hoss remained silent.

“Would a story take your mind off things, Adam?” Joe asked helpfully. Adam could have sworn he saw him wink.

“I wouldn’t want to break my word to my brother.”

Hoss glared for a full minute. Then he exhaled. “Already broke the glass, might as well smash it. Tell him the story.”

Joe leaned forward, eyes rapt. Adam settled back and tried to remember the entire story. It had been a while.

“We were at the logging camp to check on some things and drive a load of lumber back. We were having some bad luck though. Between trees falling the wrong way – against all the laws of physics – and me getting my foot stepped on, and wagons breaking, and horses going lame, we ended up staying the night. And we were both feeling lousy enough to drink more than we should have. A little anyway.”

“How much was a little?”

“A lot.” Hoss said.

Joe grinned. “And you holler at me for getting drunk.”

“You’ll see why. Like I said, once someone passed a certain line, people would start taunting him to kiss Babe. And Hoss was no exception. But he wouldn’t just kiss the mule, no, that wasn’t good enough for rough riding Hoss Cartwright. He said he would take Babe over the hill to the next town over and bring back a girl – any girl – who would be willing to kiss whichever man was drunkest when he got back.”

Joe stared at Hoss. “Did you?”

“In a way.”

“He made it to the town. But the only girl he came back with was the one he left on. His lips were a little redder though, his nose too.”

Hoss rubbed his nose. “Turns out those girls can pack a wallop when they want to.”

“But no one was sober enough to remember what happened and when they found Hoss passed out next to Babe the next morning they hauled him to his feet, gave him a coffee, and tried to put together the pieces of what had happened.”

“Which they did with the help of a certain someone.” Hoss glared at Adam.

“And you became a legend. I merely helped.”

Hoss tossed some wood on the fire. “Just you remember who will be hauling your blabbering butt back to the Ponderosa tomorrow.”

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.