Living in Darkness (by Tauna Petit-Strawn)

Summary: Two years after being blinded in an accident, Little Joe returns home from the blind school. What next? Another note is included in the first chapter.

Rated T (9,800 words)

A/N I know Little Joe was blinded in “A Stillness Within”; however, as you will see, I have only borrowed the blindness, along with Miss Dobbs, and had him go blind from another accident in another episode…Marie, My Love. The * I have put in this chapter is the fact that was not, or course, in that episode. I have just added it.

A/N I have a huge problem calling a grown man ‘little’, so it’s simply Joe or Joseph in this story.

Living in Darkness Series:

Living in Darkness
Into the Light

Living in Darkness

Chapter One

Joe listened as the wheels of the stagecoach went round and round. He had ridden the train as far as he could and now he was traveling the rest of the way home by stagecoach. Had it been two years already? Funny, when he had first left with his teacher Miss Dobbs, whom he’d been shocked to learn was also blind, time had seemed to drag its feet. Now, there were days where it almost seemed he had been blind forever. Since there were no other passengers on the coach, Joe drifted in and out of sleep dreaming of days gone by. Only when he heard the noise of people walking up and down the street, did he full wake up. Little Joe knew they were now in Virginia City. While he couldn’t wait to be with his father again, to visit Adam and Mary, along with Hoss and Rebecca, he found himself once again more than nervous. Though, as he thought on his brothers and their wives, he had to smile.

Mary and Rebecca, Joe had to chuckle at the thought of the two dark haired sisters who his father had written to him about. It seemed like they had come to Virginia City and knocked his brothers off their feet. Of course, if you ask Adam or Hoss, they swept their wives off their feet. He knew that because of the letters both his brothers had sent him. Oh well, no matter. They were both married and living in their own homes on the Ponderosa. Truth be told, Little Joe sighed, that was the main reason he had not accepted the blind school’s offer to keep him on as a permanent teacher. As much as he’d enjoyed the children, and accomplished quite a bit, Little Joe couldn’t stand the idea of their father living in the house he’d built for him and his family all alone. Of course, he’d never told his father that and never would. No, he’d simply written his family and told them he’d had a wonderful experience at the blind school and was now coming home.

“JOE!” Hoss, who had dropped the little part of Joe’s name after his baby brother has written to him and finally told him how it greatly annoyed him, shouted as Joe climbed out of the stagecoach.

“HOSS!” Little Joe turned his head in the direction his brother’s voice was coming from. He didn’t have to wait but a second before Hoss was hugging the stuffing out of him. “It’s good to be home.” Before he could say anything else, he heard other familiar footstep and he felt Hoss let go of him. “Pa? Adam?”

“Welcome home, Joe” Adam, who felt horrible about being away when Joe had had his accident, gave him a firm embrace before he stepped aside, allowing Ben to also embrace Joe.

“Good to see you, Little Joe, good to have you home.” Ben took a step back and looked his youngest over. He was pleased to see he was as healthy as ever, though it still hurt to see his sightless eyes. “Well, come on. I know a couple of women who are at the main house cooking up a huge meal to help us celebrate your return.” Since Adam and Hoss had their own homes now, they were all in the habit of calling their father’s home ‘the main house’.

As he followed his family down the street, Joe heard more than one person yell out their greetings to him, including Sheriff Coffee and Dr. Martin. Naturally, he returned the greetings. Joe told himself that, while all he wanted for now was to go home and rest, he was going to have to travel back to town with one of his brothers or his pa and visit those very same people soon. Though, none of those thoughts were expressed as he followed his family to the livery stable.

Joe had thought to find that his brothers had stabled their horses at the livery stable and that his father had also left a wagon there. Expecting this, Joe was surprised when they arrived at the livery stable to find that all three men had ridden into town on their horses and brought Cochise along with them.

“I figured you still knew how to ride.” Ben smiled wide as he watched Joe run his hands down the horse’s neck.

At first Joe said nothing as the day of his accident flashed through his mind.

“Pa! Pa!” Little Joe cried out as he and Cochise rode into the yard; he could see his father on the porch going over some paperwork. One minute his father was waving to him, and then the next moment Cochise stumbled and he fell. Next thing Joe knew he was in his bed talking to his father and listening to him tell him about his mother. *Only thing was, his father was a blurr. He hadn’t told him at first, nor had he acknowledged it when his brothers had come into the room. No, not until he’d went to sleep and woke up to complete darkness did he have to admit anything to them.

“If he damaged his optical nerve,” Dr. Martin had stood in his room and looked at Joe while speaking to all of them. “The blindness is permanent. If it’s an emotional shock from falling off his horse? Then he has a chance to recover, just don’t ask me how long that will take. I’ve heard of cases lasting years.”

“Joe?” Adam spoke up, looking at him as they all were…with concern that he might not be up to riding after all.

Joe shook himself out of his thoughts and patted Cochise. “I’m fine.” He took a hold of the reins, slid his foot into the stirrup and pulled himself up, throwing his leg over the saddle as he did so. He chuckled and said, “I lost my sight, not my ability to ride a horse. Now, let’s get home.” That, of course, got his whole family smiling wider than they already were as they too mounted their horses.

Ben and Hoss stayed a few feet in front of Joe while Adam hung back a few feet. He figured it wouldn’t hurt his baby brother to have some watching his back.

Chapter Two

Rebecca and Mary had just finished setting the table when their husbands, father in law and brother in law walked through the front door. They instantly grew quiet, waiting for one of their husbands or father in law to introduce them to the brother in law they only knew through letters. They didn’t have to wait long as Ben spoke up.

“Mary, Rebecca,” Ben said as he smiled at his youngest, “meet your brother in law, Li…I mean, Joe.” Ben wondered if there would ever come the day where he didn’t want to put the word little in front of Joe’s name.

“Hello, Joe. It’s good to finally meet you. Adam’s spoke highly of you.” Mary stepped forward and gave her brother in law a hug. Joe smiled and returned her hug, his eyebrows rose as he heard those words. He was sure that Adam would have told her all about his pesky kid brother, his temper and all that stunts he’d pulled. However, before he could say anything, his oldest brother responded to his look of disbelief.

“Don’t be surprised,” Adam chuckled, “You were only sixty percent annoying.” That comment brought rounds of laughter from everyone, including Joe

When they got control of their laughter, Joe asked, “Is it all right if I look at you at least once? I’d like to know what you look like for myself.” It was a wish his brother and sister in law quickly granted. That being the case, Joe lifted his hands and ran his fingers over Mary’s face. Once he was finished Rebecca stepped forward.

“It’s good to have you home at last. Hoss has been more than anxious to have you back.” Rebecca smiled at her husband, her eyes daring him to deny it. Of course, he didn’t.

“Well, dagnammit,” Hoss defended himself, “It ain’t been the same since ya left.” It hadn’t been either. Hoss still remembered how badly he’d missed his baby brother and his shenanigans after Joe had ridden away with Miss Dobbs.

“Thanks, Hoss.” Joe smiled at his brother and then, as with Mary, took a look at Rebecca. Afterwards, he chuckled and teased his brothers. “You know, I can’t believe two ugly fellows like yourselves wound up with such beautiful women for wives.” That of course had the whole family laughing as they made their way to the table and the food the women had prepared for them.

“How long before Hop Sing comes home?” Little Joe asked once they were seated at the table and said blessing on the food. He’d missed hearing Hop Sing complaining about one thing or another, not that the cook complained all the time. It’s just that Joe found it rather amusing how many times their cook had threatened to leave and go back to China only to admit to others that he could never turn his back on the Cartwrights.

“Not for another month,” Ben told him. “His cousin’s fall was a bad one and he really needs Hop Sing’s help. Don’t worry though; you’ll still eat well enough. Rebecca and Mary have been good enough to cook for me when Mrs. Dayton needs time off.” Mrs. Dayton and her husband had moved to Virginia City shortly before Hop Sing had had to leave. Since Hop Sing knew how good of a cook the woman was, he’d approached Ben and recommended hiring her for the time that he, Hop Sing, would be gone.

“I wasn’t worried.” Joe told his father. The talk then turned to everyone asking questions about the blind school and how things had gone for Joe. By the time supper was over, Joe was more than ready to go in and just relax in the living room.

“Your room is still waiting for you.” Ben said as he and his sons stood up and left the table, leaving Mary and Rebecca to clean up….something they’d actually offered to help with only to be told by the women to get out of the dining room. None of the men cared to argue as none of them cared to fight the women for possession of the dining room/kitchen work themselves.

“So,” Adam asked once he, his brothers and father had sat down either in chairs or on the sofa, “I thought you said things were going good for you at the blind school. What happened?” Then, due to the look that his father and Hoss gave him, he quickly clarified that he wasn’t unhappy about having his baby brother home. “I’m glad to have you back, really. I’m just curios is all. I mean, the way you were talking for awhile I was sure you’d be staying on and teaching for a number of years to come.”

Silently, Joe sighed. He’d known that, sooner or later, one of his family would ask that question. And, once again, he swore not to say a word about his real reason for returning home. “They were.” He answered as he leaned backwards on the sofa. “It just that this is my home and, now since I’m not feeling sorry for myself, I know I can contribute to the running of this ranch.”

“Of course you can.” Ben was smiling from ear to ear as he looked upon the son he had once worried would simply sit in darkness being afraid. It was rather refreshing to see Joe living in darkness instead of wallowing in it.

“I’m sure you can and will.” Adam smiled at his baby brother, though he remained unconvinced that it was Joe’s only motivation for coming home. Of course, he didn’t say that as he was sure that to do so would only send the message he wasn’t truly happy to see his brother back on the Ponderosa, which he was. He just hated the idea that Joe had turned his back on working at the blind school for any reason. After all, due to the fact that the Cartwrights had all visited Joe at the school on a few occasions, Adam knew how much Joe had grown to love the school and the students that attended it.

The minutes ticked by and the visiting continued until it was time for his brothers and their wives to go home. Ben and Joe then followed Adam, Hoss and their wives outside and stood on the porch while the two brothers helped their wives into their wagons and drove off. Ben and Joe then sat down on the porch and visited for another solid thirty minutes before they too turned in for the night…Ben grateful to have his youngest home at last, and Joe praying that he would indeed find a fulfilling life on the ranch in spite of his blindness.

Chapter Three

Once again Joe could hear people walking up and down the streets of Virginia City. Only, this time, he and Adam were among those walking through town. Joe had mentioned the fact that he wanted to travel to town and, since Adam needed some supplies anyway, the two brothers had climbed in their wagon together and made the trip. Now, exiting one of the hardware stores, Adam and Joe were talking about his return home and Joe was surprised when Adam insisted that something like a lost love or something had pushed him to leave the school. “Adam,” Joe shook his head, “I’m sorry to disappoint you only nothing was wrong at the school, or in my personal life, that chased me home. Why can’t you accept that?”

Now it was Adam’s turn to wonder at his brother’s words. “Maybe because I could see what the students meant to you. I couldn’t see you turning your back on them.”

Joe bristled at the thought that Adam looked at it as if he, Joe, was turning his back on the students. “Well,” Joe said as he continued using the long thin cane that had been his companion from the moment he’d started living at the blind school; it helped when avoid hitting into things as he was walking from one place to another. “I didn’t turn my back on them. They have an excellent teacher to take my place. It’s like I said before, I simply decided it was time to come home.” There was no way Joe was going to break the promise he’d made to himself, the one that forbade him to tell anyone he had returned to Nevada for his father’s sake. After all, the man wasn’t getting any younger. If anything ever happened, something that could have been avoided had someone been living with him, Little Joe knew he would never forgive himself.

“Hey, Adam, Joe!” Sheriff Coffee was smiled wide as he walked out of the Jonas’ Mercantile, a store just recently built next t the hardware store, and practically bumped into the two Cartwright men. “It’s good to see you!” He shook Adam’s hand and then Joe’s; the youngest Cartwright had automatically held his hand out and waited for the sheriff to grasp it. Ever since Roy had seen Joe walking with his family, the law man had hoped Joe would return to town soon.

“It’s good to see you again.” Joe said, thinking how ironic that one who was blind still used the term ‘see’ when greeting someone. Then again, maybe it wasn’t so surprising. After all, over time Joe’s other senses had increased and his ability to “see” had grown also.

“Are you here to stay or just on a visit?” Sheriff Coffee asked, a smile still upon his face.

“To stay,” Joe answered, relieved when the sheriff accepted the simple answer and started talking to Adam about something besides his, Joe’s, return. Only after Roy had walked away did Joe and Adam once again climb into the wagon and head down the streets of Virginia City.

When Joe realized they should be nearing the school, he turned his head towards Adam. “Does Rachel still teach at the school?” Rachel was a young woman he’d been friends with before is accident. Alas, he’d let self pity for himself drive her away. He wanted to talk with her and apologize and he explained that to Adam.

“Yeah she does only, Joe,” Adam rubbed the back of his neck and cleared his throat, “She is engaged to be married soon. She and Frank Hill are supposed to wed next month.”

Joe’s face lit up. He’d hoped like crazy that the young woman wound find someone who was a good man and would treat her good. Frank Hill was that kind of man; Joe just knew it. “That is wonderful news! I’d still like to visit her only I’ll just make sure to throw a congratulation into the conversation.”

Adam couldn’t help but smile as he had to admit a calm feeling wrapped itself around him, as if telling him he that caring about Joe was fine, but to trust him when it came to his motivations for returning home. “Well, why don’t I drop you off so you can talk to her, and then I’ll catch pick you up in a bit.” Adam said as he explained he still had one more stop to make before they headed home.

“Fine with me,” Joe smiled as he felt the wagon turn a corner, a corner he knew would eventually lead to the schoolhouse. Within minutes, Joe was standing in front of the one room schoolroom while Adam went to do his business.

~oOo~

Rachel, who had been correcting papers, looked up when she heard someone enter the building. Shock shone all over her face as she saw who had entered the schoolhouse. Not having heard about Joe’s return, Rachel was unprepared to see her him. However, she quickly composed herself and stood up. “Hello, Joe. It’s good to see you again.”

“Thanks,” Joe made his way up to the front of the classroom. “I wanted to come by and apologize for the way I acted before I left. It was rather childish, and I am sorry.”

Rachel shrugged her shoulders and told him it was okay. “It was quite a shock for you. I hear you made the adjustment though. I’m glad for that.”

Joe smiled as he could hear the sincerity in her words. He then surprised her again when he congratulated her on her upcoming marriage. “Frank’s a good man; I hope he knows how blessed he is.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Rachel answered only to jerk backwards as the tall, brown haired Frank entered the classroom and agree with her. “You know Joe,” He said after shaking Joe’s hand and welcoming him back, “A part of me wished you hadn’t had the need to leave, but the other part is extremely glad you did.” That statement had both him and Joe chuckling while Rachel went red from embarrassment.

“We’re having an engagement party tomorrow night.” Frank said as he wrapped his arm around Rachel, “Please come and tell your family that they’re welcome to come too.”

Joe smiled and accepted the invitation, though he made sure they knew it was contingent upon his family being able to come too. The three friends continued to talk until Adam, who was pleasantly surprised to see the three visiting, stopped to pick Joe up. Soon they were heading home talking about everything from ranch business to Rachel and Hank’s engagement party.

Chapter Four

Due to what turned out to be a scheduling conflict, Rachel and Hank’s engagement party had been moved to Virginia City’s social hall. The breeze that blew through the air was cool and refreshing as Joe and his father rode up to the building where many others had already gather; Adam and Hoss traveled in their buggies with their wives. From the noise that rang through the air, Joe figured it was a good thing the party had changed locations. He was sure almost every citizen in Virginia City must be showing up for celebration. Once he and his father had tethered their horses next to Adam and Hoss’s buggies, the family made their way through the crowed, greeting people as they went. However, the moment the family was inside everyone’s attention turned to Rachel and Hank. That is, everyone’s but Joe’s. His mind was on the last party he’d gone to…the one that his students had thrown for him.

There had been dancing, light chatter and plenty of good music and food. It had been rather nice. Now, as Joe sat down at a table that had been set near the south wall, he found himself a bit jealous of Hank and Rachel. Truth was…Joe found himself wondering if, by some wild chance, he ever met anyone who could accept him as he was would she also be able to accept the fact that his home was at his father’s house? After all, no matter what, he was going to live there. However, his musings stopped when Adam sat down next to and asked him what was wrong.

“And don’t tell everything’s fine.” Adam said rather bluntly. “You haven’t changed so much that I can’t tell when something’s amiss.”

Joe couldn’t help but chuckle. His oldest brother did have a knack of seeing through him. It was both annoying and comforting at the same time. “Nothing and everything,” Joe sighed as he gave a brief explanation as to why he was in such a melancholy mood. “I thought I was past feeling sorry for myself only it’s hard not to be when I come home and ‘see’ so many friends I had who are married or getting married..”

A sympathetic half smile appeared on Adam’s face. So, he had been wrong about why Joe had come home; however, it seemed as if he had hit the nail on the head when it came to Joe’s moodiness. “There are plenty of women in, and around, Virginia City, Joe. I’m sure that, as time goes by and you get out and more and more, you’ll find someone.” Adam hoped so anyway. His brother had lost out on enough the day he woke up without his sight. No, the man deserved to have a good woman in his life. “In fact, Mary and I are going to her family reunion next week. How about coming with us? After all, her parents have invited pa to come and told us to bring whoever we wanted to.” Adam laughed at the shocked look that came onto his baby brother’s face. “I know,” Adam said once he got his laughter under control, “How is it a family reunion if other people are showing up?”

“You still read minds.” Joe chuckled, knowing Adam didn’t read minds; he was just an expert at reading people was all.

His oldest brother laughed and then explained. “Mary’s family doesn’t exactly follow all the rules as it were.” Adam then watched his wife dancing with his father; he’d been sitting on the side lines until Adam hinted to Mary that his father might like to be out on the floor too. Okay, so it was a way to get over and talk with Joe without neglecting his wife. Adam might have continued talking with Joe about the fact that Joe was feeling rather lonesome only the dance ended and Mary and his father headed their way. That being the case, Adam changed the subject feeling sure Little Joe wouldn’t want any such topic to be become a family discussion at someone else’s party.

~oOo~

“Come on,” Mary laughed as Adam climbed into their bed they had shared since they were married the year before. “What’s wrong with it?” After hearing what her husband had said about his youngest brother. “I tell you, Phoebe knows how it feels to live with a disability. Oh sure,” Mary grew serious, “She’s never been blind only, remember, I told you Phoebe spent three years in a wheelchair after she was thrown from her family’s wagon. That does give her the knowledge it can be out there. And besides,” Mary shook her head, “With her sense of humor and all she’s done, she and Little Joe should get along fine.”

Naturally, Adam knew how Joe had been growing up. However, he was curious when it came to Phoebe and her past. “Tell me about it, please.” Adam wrapped his arm around his wife. If he was going to listen to any kind of story, Adam was going to be comfortable.

“Well, there’s the time she got mad out mama’s new cook and put a lot; and I mean a lot, of salt in the deserts the woman made. She figured the cook would get in trouble and get fired.” Mary laughed as she remembered how the cook and their mother had gone after her sister who had hid when she realized that wasn’t going to happen. Once she got control of her laughter, she shared the hiding part with Adam.

“Sounds like Joe, as a child he used to hide after one of his pranks. Of course, as he got older pa cornered him before he had a chance to do it.” He then shared a number of stunts hi s baby brother had pulled. “Of course, he always pulled Hoss into things. I think Hoss figured out his brother was using him soon enough only he seemed to thrive on it as bad as Joe did.”

“So,” Mary asked as she ran her hands up Adam chest. “Are we agreed? We’ll arrange a ‘date’ for them during the family reunion?” She added a funny tone to the word ‘date’ when she said it, telling Adam that whatever she had in mind would take place right at the reunion.

“I’ll sleep on it. However, first I need some dessert. I never got some at the party.” He grinned wide as Mary squealed as he lay her down.

Chapter Five

Little Joe didn’t know what to think as his brother brought the wagon to a halt. There was just as much noise in the Porter yard as there had been at the town social. Okay, not that much only more than Little Joe expected to hear at a reunion being held on the small ranch not ten miles out of Virginia City.

“Mary, Adam!” June Matthews, Mary’s mother, walked briskly up to the wagon where Adam was helping his wife down. “It’s good to see you. And,” she said looking at Joe, “may I assume this is the brother you’ve talked about.”

“Yes, it is.” Adam smiled. “Joe, meet my mother in law, June Matthews.”

“Good to meet you,” Joe held out his hand and shook Mrs. Matthews hand once she took his. He then added, “Whatever he’s said, it’s probably true.” That got a laugh out of all of them. Adam, Mary and Joe then followed Mrs. Matthews as she walked towards the rest of the people who were attending the reunion. After being introduced to more people, Joe made his way to the porch…with Adam’s guidance…and sat down in a chair. He wasn’t there long before Eliza, Mary’s seventeen year old sister, walked up and sat down.

“I hope you don’t mind my joining you.” Eliza said as she sat down and then introduced herself.

“Not at all,” Joe smiled politely.

For a few minutes there was an awkward silence…Joe not really knowing what to say and Eliza, who had overheard Mary talking to Phoebe, wondering why her sister saw a need to meddle in other people’s lives. It didn’t matter that Mary hadn’t come right out and said she was trying to set something up between Joe and Phoebe; Eliza knew her sister well enough to know what her sister meant when she asked Phoebe if she minded accompanying them to a birthday party they were going to hold for the gentleman. Mary had told Phoebe that, if she wanted, she only had to stay for a “just a few minutes” and then someone would take her home. Also, Mary had encouraged Phoebe to make sure to get to know Joe while he was at the reunion. That way she wouldn’t feel so out of place at the birthday celebration.

Finally, Eliza broke the silence. “I think my sister is trying to set you up with our sister, Phoebe.” She went on to tell Joe what she’d overheard before coming to join him at the table. “I don’t think it right that you’re not being forewarned. Only if you tell her that I started our conversation out this way, I’ll deny it.”

Normally Joe didn’t appreciate it when someone tried to fix him up with anyone only upon hearing Eliza confess to eavesdropping and willingly admit she’d deny it he found himself laughing hard. How many times had he done that…done something and then tried to deny it? “I’ll keep that in mind.” He said once he got his laughter under control. “Is she always trying to set people up?”

Eliza nodded even though she knew Joe couldn’t see her; it was simply habit. “Seems to think there’s something wrong with anyone being over twenty and still single, which means I’m safe from her meddling for awhile.” Eliza couldn’t help but chuckle.

Joe laughed with her and then said, “I know how it is to have people think the way your sister does.” Joe leaned back in his chair before telling her how many times one of his coworkers at the blind school had tried to set him up with someone. “As a general rule, I’d day dates set up by a third party don’t do so well. Now,” Joe said, finding his mischievous side raising its head, said, “I’d love to pull one over on her only I don’t know what to do. Do you?” He asked her because he figured she knew her sister well enough to know what might give her a bit of a scare, but not do any harm.

Eliza stared. She had thought something should be done only she’d never expect Joe to ask for her input either. However, the shock she felt lasted only for a moment. Then, slowly, a grin a mile wide spread across her face. “Just how old are you?”

Joe was puzzled. That wasn’t a question most people asked anyone. Still, he figured she had a reason for asking. “I’ll be twenty-five on my birthday which is in another week, why?”

Eliza couldn’t stop grinning. She had just barely turned seventeen which put eight years between Joe and herself. “Well, if you don’t mind, I have an idea.” She leaned forward, lowered her voice and began telling Joe just what she had in mind.

~oOo~

“I can’t believe it!” Mary was pacing back and forth in her and Adam’s room. “They spent most of the evening in each other’s company. People are going to be talking!”

If Adam and Mary hadn’t found out they were going to be parents the week before, Adam might have wondered what had come over Mary. As it was, he chalked it up to the ‘way a woman got when carrying a child’. “What’s the big deal? Eliza’s a nice young woman.” Adam said as he sat down and pulled off his boots. “Okay, a bit young for Joe if you ask me; still, if your parents don’t object, why should you?”

“But Phoebe’s more his type not Eliza! Besides, like you said just, she’s too young for him!” Mary, who had the thinking that there shouldn’t be any more than five years between a couple (and five years was pushing it in her book), was appalled at the idea of Joe courting her baby sister.

Adam, growing tired of watching his wife pace the floor, stood up and took a hold of her upper arms. “Stop this right now. He’s an adult, and she’s one very mature seventeen year old whose parents did not object. If the two continue to see each other, and your parents have a problem with it, they’ll deal with it.” He then let go of Mary’s arms and headed for the bed. She might stay up all night fretting over nothing, but he wasn’t.

Chapter Six

“Oh, it’s beautiful. I wish you could see it again.” Eliza sat on a boulder next to Joe. The boulder sat on top of a hill overlooking a portion of the Ponderosa. The two hadn’t planned on going riding only Eliza’s mother had sent her over to Ben’s with some left over casserole. When she’d arrived, Mary and Adam were visiting. Naturally, Mary had pulled her aside and given her quite the lecture. Eliza didn’t know what her sister thought she was doing, or maybe she wasn’t thinking. It didn’t really matter. Mary’s behavior infuriated Eliza, who chose to forget the confession she’d planned on making to her sister. Instead she’d stood in the front room and shocked Mary as she asked Joe, who had descended the stairs, if he was serious about taking her for a ride.

Joe knew he hadn’t made any such offer only he, unbeknownst to Mary, had heard the last part of her reprimand to her sister. This being the case, it was easy enough for him to figure out what was going on. So, while Mary’s eyes widened in shock, Joe went along with Eliza. “Sure I was.” Joe answered as he smiled from ear to ear. “I’ve got a few hours to spare. Let the ride begin.” He made his way to her side and, taking a hold of her hand, walked out the door leaving Adam, who had just walked out of the kitchen where he’d been talking to Hop Sing, to deal with Mary who had her jaw on the floor.

Joe chuckled. “I don’t have to have the use of my eyes to remember what this place looks like, nor do I need my eyes to get a picture of what I remember in my head.” He paused as he thought on the evening before and Mary’s reaction to the two of them seeing each other. Slowly he shook his head, “With all due respect, I’m a bit confused.”

“Over what?” Eliza turned her eyes away from the scenery and looked at Joe, puzzled at his statement.

“The way my brother talked in his letters I didn’t expect Mary to be the kind to tell someone who to see and who not to. In fact, I can hardly imagine my brother marrying anyone like that.” He couldn’t either.

Eliza sighed. “For the most part she isn’t. However,” she shrugged her shoulders, “She does have a couple of strange ideas and now since she’s carrying a baby,” she shook her head, “I think it’s messing with her thinking. I can’t fault her too much.” She smiled and chuckled, “I mean, am I any better using you the way I have?”

Joe couldn’t help but laugh. In his minds eyes, when someone used another person, the person being used wasn’t aware of it. “We’ve used each other if that’s the case.” Just as he spoke his stomach growled, embarrassing him. He’d been busy that morning and ate very little breakfast, but he thought he’d be fine until lunch.

“Here,” Eliza smiled as she pulled some jerky out of her skirt pocket and handed to him. “Mama always told me to be prepared for anything, so I always a bit of dried food in my pocket.”

Joe took the jerky and thanked her. As he ate the two listened to the birds that were singing in the trees, enjoyed the gentle breeze blowing through the air and talked more in depth about their lives. “Why didn’t you tell your pa and brothers things were fuzzy when you came to?” Eliza asked out of simple curiosity.

Joe thought on the question and, after a few minutes, shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really have a good reason other than I was so horrified to wake up to find my eyesight messed up that I didn’t want to admit that I might not ever see normally again.”

“Then you woke up later to total darkness. That had to be a nightmare. I admire you though,” Eliza pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “I’m not sure I wouldn’t have just crawled up into a hole and hid.”

Remembering the early days, Joe sighed. “I did just that at first, but then pa sent for Miss Dobbs. I eventually came around and then, after she suggested it, I went to the blind school and taught school there for awhile.” Joe then stood up and held out his hand, “Look, I know we were pulling one over at your sister last night only maybe we should rethink that one. I mean, maybe we could start seeing each other for real. How about takin’ a walk with me? Our horses will be fine tethered where they are for a little while. I promise to behave myself.”

Eliza smiled as she stood up and took a hold of his hand as they started walked down a nearby path lined with tall, majestic pine trees which smelled just heavenly. “Somehow, I don’t think that is something I have to worry about.”

~oOo~

“I told you, drop it!” Adam, who was fixing a portion of the corral fence turned on Mary, who had brought his lunch out to him. “I don’t know if it’s the fact that you’re carrying a child or what but, unless you can give me another reason besides my brother’s age, you need to back off!” By the time Adam was finished there was a look of steel in his eyes, the kind that told Mary she’d pushed too far.

“I’m going back inside. I have things I need to get done.” She started to turn only to find Adam’s hand on her upper arm. She looked into his eyes and saw the glare in them soften.

“He’s a good man, Mary, blind yes, but a good man. You’re sister’s a fine young woman. Does it really matter one way or the other if something more than friendship grows between them?” He let go of Mary’s arm.

Mary sighed. She still thought Eliza was too young for her brother in law only her husband was right. It was none of her business and, if it worked for Joe and Eliza, no one should complain. “I guess not.” She answered as a look of resignation appeared in her eyes. She then turned around and disappeared back into the house. “How come I have a feeling I’m going to be doing a lot of work on fences and fence posts for the next few months?” Adam asked the question to no one but himself as he went back to work.

Chapter Seven

Ben was sitting on the front porch when Eliza rode up in her buggy. He couldn’t help but smile. She and Joe had been seeing more and more of each other over the past few months, and he was hoping it meant that his son had found someone to share his life with at last. He quickly stood up, stepped off the porch and walked over to Eliza.

“Hello,” Ben said as he helped the young woman down from the buggy. “Joe and Adam won’t be back from town for at least an hour.”

“I didn’t come to see Joe; I came to talk to you.” Eliza told him as she followed him up onto the porch. Of course, that made Ben curios as he asked her what was up as they both sat down next to the table he’d been working at.

“What can I do for you?” Ben asked as he smiled kindly upon the young woman before him.

“Tell me about Joe’s accident.” She went on to explain that Joe had told what little he remembered about his accident only there was something gnawing at her. “I just don’t know what it is.” Eliza told him. “I just can’t pinpoint it. I was hoping hearing it from your point of view would help.”

If it wasn’t for the fact that she truly cared for Joe, Eliza wouldn’t have bothered asking, and Ben knew it. It made him feel good to know he was at least partially right when he thought Joe had found a good one. However, he wasn’t sure what he could tell her that Joe hadn’t already. Still, since there was no harm in repeating the story, he began telling her how it had looked from where he sat.

“When I turned him over, I was afraid I’d lost my son the same way I’d lost his mother.” Ben said as he finished tell her how Joe had ridden around the corner of the barn only to have Cochise stumble and fall.

Eliza sighed. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. I don’t know what I thought I was going to hear.”

Ben smiled as he laid his hand upon her shoulder. He knew exactly what was going on because he’d been in the same spot as she was once. “You wanted to hear that there was no chance he could have damaged his optic nerve. You wanted there to be a chance for him to recover his sight the same way I once hoped he would.”

Eliza was shocked to hear him state what she had to admit was her dilemma so bluntly. Then again, maybe she wasn’t. “It doesn’t change how I feel about him, Mr. Cartwright, only you do have a point. As good as he has it here with you, I have to admit I wanted to blame the shock of waking up to fuzzy eyesight for the fact that he lost his eyesight. I mean, I had thought, maybe; the shock was so great that he went blind simply because he was convinced he was.”

Ben took his hand off her shoulder and sat back in his chair. That was a possibility he’d never considered before. Though, he too sighed, Joe had had hit the back of his head as he fell and then rolled. “Well, until the day his vision comes back, if it ever does, we’ll have to just assume his optic nerve was indeed damaged. Now,” he said as he stood up, “Why don’t you come inside. Rebecca is inside fixing some lunch. As you know,” he chuckled at the thought that all three of his sons were either married to, or courting, sisters. “She’s a pretty good cook.”

“Is Mary inside?” Eliza asked even if Mary had backed off and stopped trying to ‘get her to see reason’ when it came to seeing Joe. She just didn’t feel like dealing with anyone who was still as moody as Mary could get, for any reason. Why should she when she had her own emotions to deal with?

“No,” Ben, who knew how Mary had been in the past, answered. “She went into town with Adam and Joe.”

Eliza felt sorry for Joe. She was sure her sister was probably saying something to him even if she had stopped bothering her. Eliza stood up and smiled at Ben. “I’ll stay then.”

~oOo~

Joe, who had returned from town, now stood by the corral fence enjoying the cool breeze ran across his face. When he heard Eliza’s footsteps approaching, he turned around. He was more than happy that young woman who had been in the middle of helping Rebecca with a major sewing project when he’d walked in the door was now seeking him out. “Hello, Eliza.”

Eliza, who had ceased to be amazed at Joe’s ability to tell who it was that was approaching him, leaned against the fence and smiled. “Hello, how was your trip to town?” The fact that she was fighting back a laugh was something even Joe could see.

“I think I’ll be glad when that sister of yours has that baby, and I think there’s a chance Adam might feel the same way.” Joe answered as he scowled just a little. “She really does have a hang up on age, doesn’t she?”

“Yep, always has. Though,” Eliza said as she continued leaning on the fence, “she wasn’t this bad until she starting carrying this child.”

“Well, if that’s the case, she should be back to normal in three months.” Joe shook his head.

“Try six or nine.” Eliza corrected him. “Mother always said you have to give a woman three to six months after a child is born before she’s normal again.” She couldn’t help but bust up laughing at the horrified look that came upon Joe’s face. Afterwards, he started laughing too.

Once he stopped Joe moved his hand over the fence until he found Eliza’s hand, and then he put it over hers. They’d gone on more than one ride together, but they’d never been to a social together. He thought it was about time they did. “There’s a dance in town tomorrow night. Pa is taking the Widow Baker. How about comin’ with us?”

Eliza’s face lit up, elated to hear Joe ask her for a date. “I’ll be more than happy too.” She was sure it was going to be a wonderful evening and, maybe, just maybe, Mary would finally see hers and Joe’s ages didn’t matter.

Chapter Eight

The music that was playing in the social hall rose and spread out, filling the room where the citizens of Virginia and the outlying area were dancing. Joe had led Eliza out onto the dance floor, and they were now doing a waltz while Mary and Adam danced nearby.

When Adam saw ‘that look’ appear in his wife’s eyes when she looked at her sister, he decided to get to the heart of the matter right then and then. He had to; it was ridiculous. Even if Mary was expecting a baby, it was no excuse to for her to continue this way. “Huh?” Mary was surprised when her husband began leading her toward the door, even more surprised to find his grip on her arm, while not painful, was as tight as steel. “Adam…” she started to object only to see ‘that look’, as she always called it when anyone who knew Adam meant they best just go along, appear in his eyes. She quit trying to talk and allowed him to take her outside and away from the ground.

“Okay, out with it!” Adam let go of his wife and folded his arms, still giving her ‘that look’.

Out with it? At first Mary was honestly confused. She had no idea what her husband was talking about. That is, until she went over the dance and realized he’d pulled her out of the church after she’d started watching Joe and Eliza dancing. “What? Is looking at my sister and Joe a crime now?” Without realizing it, she changed took on a defensive stand.

“WHAT is so wrong about them being together?” Adam’s voice dropped just enough to scare Mary and, for a change, she took time to try and find a reason for her strong opposition to there being a ‘noticeable age difference’ between a couple. As she did so, she had a few memories that she hadn’t thought about it a long time come back to her.

“They don’t work out, Adam.” She looked at him with the same pitiful look that a small frightened child would have. “You know that.”

“What do you mea…” Adam started to ask only to remember his mother in law’s first marriage, along with stories of a cousin of Mary’s. He couldn’t help but stare at Mary. “Joe isn’t your biological father nor is he your cousin’s former husband, Mary. Not all marriages with an age difference in them wind up that way!”

Mary knew that only her heart was afraid for Eliza, and she said as much. “What happens to her if the day comes that it does end, Adam?”

Adam put his hands on her shoulders and gripped them tightly, but not so tight it would hurt her. “You’re worrying about something that may or may not happen and making everyone around you miserable while you do it.” Adam wasn’t surprised when his wife’s eyes opened wide at he statement. “For the last time, this is their business not yours. Now,” he took his hands off her shoulders and shocked her again when he said, “Now, do you behave yourself or do we go home?”

Mary couldn’t believe he’d really take her clear back to the Ponderosa when they’d hadn’t been at the social that long. Then again, the way he was standing, his arms crossed and the look in his eyes, she had to admit Adam was serious. “I’ll behave myself.” Mary finally answered. She the accepted Adam’s hand and headed back into the building.

~oOo~

Ben sat in his chair smiling from ear to ear, and chuckling inside just a little, as Joe talked about his intention to marry Eliza Matthews (the only girl to come from Mrs. Matthews second marriage). Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think his three sons would be all be married to sisters. Oh, sure, he’d heard of it happening; he just hadn’t expected it to happen to Adam, Hoss and Little Joe.

“Well,” Joe asked, “How do you feel about it?” He’d just mentioned that he would like to continue living with his father after the wedding; that is, if Eliza accepted his proposal.

“I don’t mind at all son only,” Ben said as he leaned forward, “Don’t you think Eliza might want her own home?”

“I think it’s wonderful you want to be there for your father.” Eliza sat next to Joe, as they sat on the edge of the bank of the lake that had quickly become their favorite spot. “Though, are you serious? You’ve never told this to anyone before?” Joe had confessed to Eliza why he’d left the blind school only he’d begged her not to tell anyone, and she was amazed….both for the reason he left and the fact that he’d confide in her.

“She’ll be fine with it.” Joe assured his father. “I know she will.”

Not knowing of the many conversations his youngest had had with Eliza, Ben was left to hope his son was right; still…”If you love her, and she’s not fine with it, you can build a house for the two of you anywhere you want. I would hope you know that.”

Joe, while standing up, acknowledge he was fully aware of that fact. “I’m taking her to another social tomorrow night. I plan on asking her then if I don’t get a chance before….” He wasn’t’ able to finish his sentence as they heard urgent pounding on the door. Joe quickly crossed the living room floor and opened the door. Jonathon, Adam’s brother in law, was on the other side.

“Adam sent me for you. Mary’s having that baby of theirs, and he’s gone for the doctor.” The young man blurted out before Ben or Joe could ask him what was wrong.

Joe let out a joyful yelp while Ben was also beaming. “We’ll head over to their house in a minute.” Ben told Jonathon as he thanked him for delivering the news. It wasn’t long before Joe and Ben were riding towards Adam and Mary’s; the whole time Joe began thinking that, maybe, if Eliza was there too, he wouldn’t wait until the social to ask her to marry him.

Chapter Nine

“Will You Come To The Bower” (circa 1804-1820) [c1818]
[Words and Music by Thomas Moore, 1779-1852;
from “Irish Melodies” (published in ten installments
from 1808-1834), or “Popular National Airs” (1818-28)]
Baltimore: Carr’s Music Store [circa 1804-1820]
[Benjamin Carr, 1768-1831]
[Source: 036/129 Levy]

 

Joe stood next to Adam, both were in their Sunday best and at the front of the chapel; every pew was filled to capacity. Adam couldn’t help but grin; his baby brother looked more than a bit nervous. For Joe’s part his mind was on the social he’d taken Eliza to, his proposal and her acceptance.

Joe and Eliza sat on a bench that sat up against the social hall. Eliza was looking up at the stars and describing to Joe. When she realized he wasn’t joining in the conversation, she stop and looked at him with concern. “The last thing she wanted was to hear Joe did not feel well or something. What is it, Joe? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Joe answered as he felt his stomach start to do somersaults, “I was just thinking,” he said as he slipped his hand into his pocket, “how I’d love to sit outside every night with you.” He then pulled out a small box and, taking a hold of her hand, laid the small item in her palm. “Will you marry me?”

Eliza had to hold in a laugh simply because she wondered how right it would be to point out there had to be a better way for him to propose. As it was she opened the small box and gasped. “Oh Joe! It’s beautiful!” She exclaimed as she saw a nice sized diamond ring; the diamond was surrounded by small diamonds.

Joe chuckled as he lifted his hand, found the side of her face and, taking his finger, traced the outline of her jaw. “So, will you marry me?”

Remembering what he’d said about his father, and the fact that Joe had told no one but her why he’d come home, she asked, “Will your father mind us living there?”

Joe couldn’t help but laugh as he told her Ben had been worried about what she’d think. “He’s fine with it if you are.”

Eliza didn’t have to think twice about it. Quickly she put the ring on her finger as she cried out ‘yes!’ and then hugged Joe.

“Breath little brother,” Adam whispered and then chuckled again as Joe exhaled the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Just then the music started playing, and the balding Mr. Matthews appeared with Eliza in the doorway that led into the chapel.

As the music played, Joe imagined what Eliza looked liked. It was easy to do as Adam was whispering the description of the silky white gown with flowers strewn all over it to him, along with the description of the veil which was attached to a tiara that sat on top of her head. Only when Mr. Matthews handed off his daughter to Joe did the music stop.

“We are gathered together in the eyes of God to witness the marriage between Joseph Francis Cartwright and Eliza Ann Matthews…” the preacher smiled upon the couple as he began the ceremony.

~oOo~

Will you come to the Bow’r I’ve shaded for you?.
Your bed shall he flow’rs all spangled with dew.
Will you come to the Bow’r I’ve shaded for you?
Your bed shall be flow’rs all spangled with dew.
Will you, wil you, will you, will you come to the Bow’r?
Will you, will you, will you, will you come to the Bow’r?
There under the Bow’r on roses you lie
With a blush in your cheek and a smile in your eye.
There under the Bow’r on roses you lie
With a blush in your cheek and a smile in your eye.

Adam’s voice rang through the living room as more and more guests arrived at the reception Ben gracious enough to allow the Matthews to hold at his home. Blue and white ribbons had been hung from the ceiling and wrapped around the stair banisters. All furniture had been removed to make room for the guests. Hoss and his wife were dancing, as were some of the people who were attending the celebration. When it came to Ben he was standing against the stair railing and holding Adam and Mary’s infant son; he’d been born three months before Joe’s wedding. And, to everyone’s relief, Mary was acting more like herself.

“She’s the best thing to happen to him” “They make such a cute couple” And “It’s so nice that they’ve decided to live here with Ben. I’d hate to think of the old man wandering around in the grand home all by himself” were just some of the comments being made while people talked, drank from the punch bowl and ate some of the refreshments. They were sure this was the best reception they’d been to in a long time. As for Joe and Eliza they were dancing right in the middle of the living room.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m tempted to take you and slip out of the house using the kitchen door. There’s plenty of sightseeing for us to do.” He whispered to Eliza in a tone that told her he was sending her a coded message, and it wasn’t a split second before she caught onto that message.

“Joe!” She blushed as she lovingly chastised him. “It’s not every day one has a reception! We’re not running out on the guests…no matter how tempting that is.” She was chuckling by the time she was finished speaking. Naturally, Joe started chuckling which, in turned, earned him and Eliza a few knowing smiles.

“Well, as soon as everyone’s gone, we’re disappearing for the night.” Joe whispered again as he turned Eliza in a circle. Just as he finished turning her, Joe turned his face towards the window and got the shock of his life. For a split second, Joe was sure he saw the light shining in though the living room window.

THE END…for now.

*I have no clue as to how old Joe was supposed to be in the episode where he falls off his horse and Ben tells him about Marie. Only, for the sake of the story, I need him to have been not quite 23 at the time of the accident and not quite 25 when he returns.

Next Story in the Living in Darkness Series:

Into the Light

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Author: Tauna Petit-Strawn

1 thought on “Living in Darkness (by Tauna Petit-Strawn)

  1. There’s nothing like starting a series in the middle – enjoyed this – I find myself wanting to go back and read Adam’s and Hoss’ part of the series and their wives. As much as I liked The Stillness Within, I like this version of Joe’s blindness also.

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