Summary:  Did Little Joe really see what he thought he saw?  Adam can’t believe the implications of Joe’s revelation.

Rating:  T  (3,800)

 

“Neked” Woman

(Excerpted From “FIRE”)

Ponderosa Ranch, 1855

“You got some nerve, kid, saying Pa is sneaking a woman into the house like that.” Adam was shocked by Little Joe’s excited comment. The boy swore up and down he was right.

Despite arriving home quite late the night before from a weeklong trip to the timber camp, the Cartwright brothers had all awakened early that Monday morning to catch up on back chores.

Adam Cartwright had come home from college with the idea of building a lumber mill right on their own ranch. The mill would certainly be a means of expanding their timber operations and a source of steady revenue. It took Adam close to two years to convince his father but eventually he did.

Ben had finally agreed that Adam could scope out the proper location. He and his brothers had gone up to the northern boundaries of the Ponderosa to set up for a lumber contract. While Hoss and Joe finished marking the timber, Adam had scouted the terrain for a suitable site.

Adam was surprised to find his baby brother up and already dressed when he came down the stairs. The boy had rarely awakened on his own and never did after staying up late the night before. Joe jammed his feet into his boots and chased his two older brothers out to the barn, eagerly making his proclamation that Pa had entertained a woman in the house while the boys were gone.

“That’s what I saw Adam!” Joe explained breathlessly as he finished tucking in his blue striped shirt. “Really, I did.” His curly hair was uncombed framing his flushed face in an unruly halo.
Adam stood silently next to barn door staring at his kid brother. He had hoped thirteen-year-old Joe had come out to the barn to help him with the chores before breakfast but instead Joe had run after him from the house and made his excited pronouncement. Adam was surprised to see his brother up and dressed so early, especially since they had not gone to bed themselves until quite late. And now the boy was claiming he saw a woman in the house in the middle of the night.

“What are you talking about?” Hoss looked at his brothers as though they’d taken leave of their senses. “What woman?” He put down the bucket he was carrying to the pump.

“There’s no point denying it,” Joe told him scornfully. “I saw her with my very own eyes up in Pa’s room last night, when we got home. I passed by the door and it was sort of part way open and I saw her standing there.”

Hoss stared at his brothers in disbelief. “Pa? Pa and a woman? Are you out of your mind?” he asked. “Our Pa?”

Adam looked anxiously over his shoulder, hoping no one walked into the yard just at that moment. Adam hadn’t even seen his father yet that morning. He must still be in bed. And if Joe was right, maybe he was not alone.

“Our Pa? Ben Cartwright?” Hoss stood with his mouth open.

“Close your mouth before a fly goes in,” Adam said sarcastically. He really hoped Joe was wrong and there was some really logical explanation.

“The door was open just a crack. You know how that latch doesn’t always close tight.”
“Just a crack? So how are you so sure?” Adam asked. He crossed he arms across his chest and stared at Little Joe. He really hoped there was some explanation other than Pa had a woman in his bedroom.

“After all Adam, we weren’t supposed to be home for two or three more days…” Joe reminded him. The boy’s shirttails were untucked again. Little Joe had misplaced his belt and refused to wear suspenders. The boy was too slender to keep his trousers hitched up and his shirt tucked neatly into the waistband.

“Our Pa? Pa had a woman here?” Hoss was still caught on Joe’s first remark. “Here on the Ponderosa?”
“Here on the Ponderosa! Here! Here in the house and upstairs in his bedroom!” Joe repeated insistently. “Here, upstairs in his room in our house! Pa’s bedroom!” He pointed at the upstairs window.

“Quit your joshing, Little Joe.” Hoss shook his head, quite sure his young brother was pulling some sort of prank on him.

“You really think he’d bring some woman here?” Adam said calmly hoping Joe was wrong. He knew at some level Ben had female companionship over the years but to the best of his knowledge he never brought any women into his bedroom while the boys were around. “Pa would kill me if I had a woman in the house; I can’t imagine him behaving like that.”

“Don’t forget we were supposed to be gone until the end of the week. Remember? Pa said ‘Take your time boys. No hurry. Don’t rush home’ Remember?” Joe reminded them, trying unsuccessfully to imitate his father’s deep voice with his own boyish cracking alto. ”Maybe he wanted to be really sure he was really alone in the house. Not really alone… you know what I mean.”

“I do not,” Adam said firmly.

“Well, Pa didn’t want to be alone ALONE but he didn’t want us around so he could be alone with that lady. That kind of alone.” Joe swung his arms around enthusiastically as he attempted to make his explanation.

“That’s right, Adam. Pa did say that. He said no rush to get back. Take a few days off when we finished and go fishing on the way home. That’s what Pa said. Go home by way of Carson City and stay over and have a fine dinner and find out how much those millstones will cost. Take your time getting the prices.”

“Pa said take your time, no rush to get back. Didn’t he, Hoss?” Joe reminded them.

Hoss nodded in agreement. “He even gave Hop Sing time off to visit his father.”
“And Hoss never sent that wire saying we were done early.” Joe added.
“That’s right, Adam; I never did send that wire. The telegraph office said the lines was down for the next few days.” Hoss nodded.

“Tell me again just what you saw, Little Joe? “ Adam leaned against the side of the barn.
“I saw her! And I head… I heard noises, Adam.” Joe blushed and scratched his head. “Later on. I heard some noises. When I had to get up and get a drink of water a couple of hours later.”

“What sort of noises?” Hoss asked innocently.

“You know, noises,” Joe rolled his eyes. “Noises…like the bed squeaking, noises like that. Like a lady laughing. Like…like…” Joe stammered. “You know, noises.”

Adam prayed the boy was wrong. He couldn’t imagine his father being so indiscrete.

“Start from the beginning,” Adam instructed. He glanced nervously over his shoulder. The yard was still empty and the house silent.
Joe closed one eye trying to picture exactly what happened. “Well, we got in last night and Hoss said he would bed down the horses. And you and me went inside.”
“The house was real dark and quiet, Adam.” Hoss nodded. “We was all done in and real tired. We all went right to bed.”

“I know, we all went to sleep,” Adam agreed. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying desperately to think of a way out of this.
“It was late. You said Pa was probably sleeping…” Little Joe continued. “We all went right to bed. You didn’t even light a lamp.”

“For sure Pa must have been sleeping that late. It was almost midnight. I know that for sure,” Hoss agreed. “I remember thinkin’ we had said if we kept riding, we could be home before midnight. And I heard that grandfather clock strike just as I pulled the covers over my head. I remember thinking how still the house was and I could hear that clock just like I was in the dining room.”
“That’s right, Adam, remember? We said why make camp and stay out one more night? It was such a bright moon we just kept on riding,” Joe added.

Adam nodded. He hoped he didn’t live to regret that suggestion when Pa found out about Little Joe’s discovery. Adam had sworn to respect his father’s privacy and now he was the initiator of a messy situation.

“You said let’s keep going, then we can get home and can get up bright and early on Monday morning. The moon was full and we were close to home,” Joe repeated.

Adam nodded a second time. “So you said Pa was sleeping? Did you see him sleeping? How do you know he was sleeping? First you was saying he was… was… you heard the bed squeaking.”
“And a lady laughing.” Hoss added. “Don’t forget he heard that lady laughing, Adam.”

“Maybe it was Pa laughing at a funny dream,” Adam tossed out an impossible explanation.

“Pa don’t laugh like a lady,” Hoss rolled his blue eyes.

“I heard snoring and the bed squeaking and creaking and a lady laughing and when I went past, the door was open.” Joe continued.

“Just a crack, “Adam repeated what his little brother had said initially.

“Just a crack but enough for me to see the lady. She had long, light brown hair.”
“It was dark, Little Joe.”
“The moon was full and shining through the windows on that side of the house. I have real good eyes, Adam!” Joe countered. “Young, sharp eyes, not like your old blind eyes. You wore your eyesight out from reading all those thick books with wee bitty print. My eyes are sharp!”
”Joe don’t wear his eyes down reading no school books, Adam,” Hoss whispered from behind his hand. He laughed and poked Adam in the arm.

“I got good hearing too, not like you two old men.” Joe hollered indignantly.
Adam glared at the boy. “Go on, finish Little Joe. What was this lady wearing? You have such good eyes, what was she wearing?”
Joe shrugged and looked down at his boots, “Nothin’. She weren’t wearing nothin’”
“A neked lady was in Pa’s room?” Hoss’s jaw dropped. “Neked?”
“Joe! She wasn’t wearing anything? How do you know?” As soon as the words left Adam’s lips, he realized what a stupid question he asked.

“I know Adam! I didn’t see any clothes and I only saw her…her… her …” Joe stammered, His anatomical vocabulary was limited.
“Nekedness?” Hoss offered. His vocabulary was not much better.

“I only saw her nekedness! All of it! Plenty of it. Really neked! With no clothes neked!” Little Joe hollered. “A neked lady was in Pa’s room and then the door shut tight. Then I heard them laughing and … and…the other stuff.”

“Little Joe, maybe you were dreaming,” Adam struggled. “Or sleepwalking. Maybe it didn’t really happen.” He prayed that Joe had dreamed the whole thing and if he hadn’t, maybe he could convince the boy that he had.

Hoss stepped closer to Adam, as if Little Joe wouldn’t hear his conversation. “What do you think, Adam? Pa didn’t know we would be home for days.”

“There was nobody there!” Adam pushed his brother away, his anger rising. “You’re insane if you think…” His father had said to him when he returned from college that Adam was a grown man and what he did was his own business but he should be discrete about his behavior, especially in front of his younger brothers, particularly Little Joe. The boy had absolutely no judgment when it came to what adult men did and what was quite inappropriate for young boys. Ben expected Adam to be a model of extremely discrete, exceptionally responsible, gentlemanly behavior in front of his younger brothers.

Adam could not imagine his father would be that indiscrete in their very own home. Now he was trying to make excuses for Pa in front of his brothers and it was getting more and more uncomfortable for him. How could Pa have put him in such an awkward position?

“She’s gotta still be there. I ain’t seen Pa yet this morning.” Hoss glanced towards the house. A small curious smile crossed his face. “Wonder who Pa has up there?”
Joe nodded in agreement. “She still is there. That’s why I got up and out so fast. I needed to tell you. I figured you both would know what to do.”
Adam looked nervously toward the house. This is going to be very awkward for his father. “Maybe we should all ride out and check the herd and see if things are going all right up on the North Pasture,” Adam suggested. He figured if they all left, his father would have time to have his lady friend leave and Joe would never see or hear any thing. He and Pa could just convince the boy it was his imagination or a dream. “Maybe it was a dream, Little Joe.”

“I saw her,” Joe repeated, his tone urgently quiet. “I didn’t dream nuthin’. Adam, if I dreamed about a naked lady, she would have been in my room, not Pa’s, and I would have seen a lot more of her and…”
“Thanks for sharing your dreams, Little Brother,” Adam shook his head. Pa was right. Joe had big dreams for a boy so young.

“What else, Little Joe? What else would you put into your dream?” Hoss encouraged. He grinned at his brother’s story. His blue eyes twinkled mischievously.

“Well, she would have long blonde hair and not dark hair. I like blonde haired girls more. And she would be saying some thing like ‘Oh Joe, I just love how you kiss me!’ and then…”
Adam cut him off “I don’t really think we need to hear all this, Little Joe; we have chores to do. I still think we should go check that herd.”
“I’m starving, Adam. I want some breakfast. That dinner last night was pretty sparse. I woke up because my stomach was growling.” Hoss picked up his bucket.
“Then what do you say we all go into town and I’ll buy us all breakfast? And lunch too. Maybe even stay in Virginia City for dinner….” Adam smiled weakly, struggling to extricate himself and Pa. He had to get the boys away from the house for a few hours and let Pa cover his tracks. Then he would bring them back and speak to Pa privately over what Joe had discovered. Pa could insist nothing had happened and Joe had dreamed it all up. Then it would be over and done.

Suddenly the three brothers were startled by the sound of a horse riding into the yard. They all looked up and saw their father arrive on Buck.
“Hey boys!” Ben smiled. “It’s good to see you home!” he called as he rode up to them. “Did you just get back?”
“Errr…no, Pa. We got home last night,” Adam informed him, looking up at his father. He looked very cheerful and alert for a man who was making the bed squeak and creak in the middle of the night. Then again, maybe that was why Pa looked so cheerful.

“Last night? You got home really early. How did you do with the timber and those plans for the mill?” Ben smiled as he dismounted. He tossed the reigns around the hitching rail.
“Just fine. We got home last night,” Adam repeated. “Late last night, when you were sleeping,”
“I wasn’t sleeping last night,” Ben smiled.

“No, sir, didn’t think you were.” Hoss grinned and then looked embarrassed. He put the bucket down on the ground.

“No sir, I sort of kind of heard…” Little Joe started.

Adam wrapped his arms around his brother’s slim shoulders from behind and hugged him across his chest. Joe was lifted a foot off the ground as his oldest brother squeezed him. He clutched the boy tightly, perhaps a bit too tightly because Little Joe grunted and gasped and tried to wriggle free. “What Joe wanted to say was that it is really good to see you and that we were headed into town for some breakfast so you will be all alone here for a good couple of hours until we get back. Right, boys? Pa will be all alone. Completely alone for hours.”
“No Adam, we were going inside to see…Memepeppepehhhe.” Joe felt his brother’s large hand clamp over his mouth. He struggled to free himself from his brother’s strong, vicelike grip. Adam hoped to get to their father privately and coordinate some sort of confabulated tale before Joe spilled the beans.
“Adam! What are you doing?” Ben hollered. “You are smothering the boy!”
“Oh, er, um?!” Adam awkwardly let go of Little Joe and the boy elbowed him in the stomach, as he got free. Adam wiped his wet hand on his trousers. “Am I?” He let go of his little brother and brushed some imaginary dust off the boy’s shirt and smoothed down his curly hair.

“We all just got home; let’s go inside and I want you to tell me all about your trip. I am pretty tired,” suggested Ben.
“Tired, Pa?” Hoss winked at Joe. “Tired?”
“That’s right. I was up all night. A man has to do what a man has to do!” Ben sighed.
Adam cringed. He couldn’t believe how his father was acting and then bragging so boldly.

Ben had once reprimanded Adam for staying out all night and allowing Little Joe to see him arrive home while the boy ate breakfast. Adam had admitted that he had been in the Altamont Saloon all night. Ben was furious and yelled at him for a half hour after Joe left for school.

“How can you behave like a rogue in front of your little brothers! Keep your evening with Miss Sheila or Miss Ellen or Miss whomever to yourself, Ben had roared.

And now Pa was making a public display of his own behavior.

“A man sure does,” Joe grinned. “I want to be just the man you are Pa!” He threw his arm around his father’s shoulder and walked next to him. Joe unsuccessfully tried to match his stride to his father but his legs were far too short to keep pace with Ben Cartwright.

“That is very flattering, on. Not often you say things like that!” Ben smiled at the compliment. “Thank you, son.”
“No sir, Pa, Not often you do what you did!” Hoss grinned and winked at Little Joe. He threw his arm around Pa from the other side.

“Can’t believe you know what all went on last night” Ben remarked.

“Well Pa, Joe sort of found out, Adam stumbled over the words. “By accident.”

“How could you have found out that we had to hunt for that little Baxter child? She wandered off and we had a posse looking for her all night. I found her myself, sleeping under one of the trees up on the ridge. Sweet as a little doll. Brought her home and made her parents real happy.”
”You were looking for a child all night?” Hoss’ blue eyes widened.
“Sure. You said you heard. I couldn’t imagine how you knew. Did you ride into town last night and see Roy Coffee?” Ben asked.
“You were out of the house all night?” Adam asked smiling.

“Sure, I was staying over at the Newkirks. You know that. Molly Newkirk and her husband were using our house for their wedding night. They are leaving for their new place over near Placerville in the morning and I thought it would be nice for them to have our house after the wedding. Danny didn’t have money for a hotel. With you three boys gone and Hop Sing helping out his father for the week, I thought the bride and groom would have the privacy and all over here.”
“Guess having your wedding night in your parents’ house would be sort of unromantic for Molly and Danny,” Adam smiled. He sighed with relief. “Not really private either.”

“I was going to sleep in Molly’s bed over at the Newkirks,” Ben continued. “The child wandered away from the wedding party and we all hunted for her all night. I never got to sleep.”
“And the bride and groom slept over here?” Hoss asked staring at Little Joe. “Here in our house?”
“Sure, you knew that. I told you boys when you were leaving and Little Joe said I should kiss Molly good-bye for him and tell her he was sorry to miss the wedding. I’m sure Joe knew. Remember I asked you to fix that squeaky board on my bed frame and the loose latch on my door?”
They all turned and stared at Little Joe who turned bright red. “Molly Newkirk?”
“She is Mrs. Dan Commack now. Some problem, fellers?” asked Ben. He couldn’t make heads or tails of this peculiar discussion.

Ben’s question interrupted what Hoss had been about to say and he turned away with a mumbled. “Nope, no problem, Pa.”

“Then what are we standing out here for? I am sure the bride and groom would like some breakfast before they have to catch that stage. They must be awake by now. I’m really famished.”

“Molly Newkirk?” Joe muttered. He was even more uncomfortable to think he saw his best friend’s older sister naked.
“Molly Newkirk and her new husband, Little Brother.” Adam smiled. ”Mr. and Mrs. Dan Commack. The bride and groom. The lovely bride and the really jealous, protective groom, Big Danny.”

“Molly Newkirk? She is like… family. Like my own older sister.” Joe shuddered. His face turned scarlet. His stomach did flip flops. How could he possibly  sit at the breakfast table with the bride and groom now?

“She used to diaper you, Joseph,” Ben added for good measure.

Mortified, Joe groaned and blushed to the roots of his curls. “Pa, I’ll take care of your horse for you,” Joe quickly offered. “And do all the chores for you, Adam. Your share too, Hoss.”

“Aren’t you hungry?” Ben asked.
“No, I sort of lost my appetite,” Joe muttered heading for the barn. Adam thought he heard his brother grumbling something about the first naked woman he ever saw being Molly Newkirk.

“Molly Newkirk?” Adam smiled, repeating his brother’s griping. “Molly and big, angry, jealous Danny Commack. I would never have dreamed, Hoss, would you?”
”No sir, never have dreamed in my wildest dreams,” Hoss laughed. “Not never. But guess Joe had different dreams too.”

“Did you say something about breakfast Pa? I’m mighty hungry all of a sudden,” Adam smiled widely. “And let me tell you about the grand place I saw for building that mill.”

*****End*****

 

Tags:  Adam Cartwright, Ben Cartwright, Hoss Cartwright, Joe / Little Joe Cartwright