Summary: This is a combined WHN/WHI for The Tall Stranger.
The first sentence is the Oct 1, 2016 Pinecone prompt, even though the story never made it to the challenge.
Rating: K+ (722 words)
Close to a Guarantee
In the original episode, Margie Owens breaks off the engagement with Hoss when crooked Mark Connors sweeps her off her feet with promises of a dream life, traveling the world.
Connors’ motive for wanting to marry Margie is to bilk her father out of money, and when she finally discovers his true colors, he leaves her to fend for herself in San Francisco while she is pregnant. At this point, Margie’s father then asks Hoss to bring his daughter home.
When Hoss finds her, she has lost all hope and will to live. She is in labor and Hoss promises that once the baby is born, the three of them are going to live as a family, like they planned before she married Mark Connors. But Margie dies in childbirth, and Hoss brings the little girl home to her grandfather.
In my version, George Owens and Hoss never located Margie. She also survived the birth of her daughter. This is a glimpse of the consequences she is still suffering, about eight years after making the biggest mistake of her life.
CLOSE TO A GUARANTEE
“The world is full o’ complainers. An’ the fact is, nothin’ comes with a guarantee.” Margie studied Hoss Cartwright’s words on the handwritten note before carefully placing it beside her on the bed. It was morning and the absence of brawling men in saloon downstairs was noticeable. Her seven-year-old daughter Erica had left for school, and Margie would have the room to herself for a few hours. On occasions like this, she often stayed behind her own locked door to sit for a while and think about the way things once were.
Her life had turned out so differently than she once imagined. She absently stroked her fingers over the piece of paper. How young she had been. How naive. How much pain she might have spared herself if she had known back then what she knew now. That a person could not afford to love or hope or dream too much. The price was always too high, and that was why she was still paying for the one time, so long ago, when she had loved, hoped and dreamt too much. But she had kept her promise to herself never to love or dream like that again.
Of course, Margie had felt tempted to give in, to let something into her heart. Especially when she looked at her daughter; the girl’s face turned toward her with such longing in her eyes. Margie saw in Erica a hunger for something that was expected of her, but she was incapable of giving it to the girl. Sometimes Margie would notice Erica just sitting and looking at her with an expression that displayed all the unreciprocated longing that could possibly be found on a child’s face. Part of Margie wanted to break her promise and go over to put her arms around her daughter, to feel her own heart beating in time with hers, but something always stopped her. At the last moment, before she could get up, before she could hug her daughter, she always had a sensation of Hoss Cartwright. His strong, gentle arms around her own body, enveloping her. His blue eyes looking at her with love and warmth.
Erica… A child created without love, and in no way related to the man who inspired to her name. Eric Cartwright. She had given birth to Erica alone, in a room filled with strangers. She had felt the baby slide out of her body and then out of her heart.
Margie put her hand inside the satchel and took out the bandana. She held it up to her nose, sniffing at it to see if it still held any trace of that sweet, warm scent that Hoss had when he held her in his arms. But there was nothing. The bandana had only a stuffy, musty odor. All those years had wiped away any scent of the big man, and she could no longer smell it.
Sometimes she had thought about trying to locate him, maybe just to make sure that he was all right, but the idea had never gone any further. It was the same with the idea that she might wrap her arms around her daughter, and in that way free herself from the promise that kept her heart closed.
“The world is full o’ complainers. An’ the fact is, nothin’ comes with a guarantee.” Hoss didn’t know how right he was when he said it but had he understood it? Margie didn’t think so. Neither of them had. Margie hadn’t known what it meant, hadn’t known what role it would play in her life, but sensing that it was important, she had jotted the message down and kept it.
Carefully she put the bandana and the note back in the satchel along with the drawing little Erica had made for her last night. Because this was the only thing Margie was capable of giving to her daughter, a moment of love when she was alone with her memories. That was the only time she could allow herself to think of Erica not only with her mind but with her heart. As soon as the girl looked at her with hungry eyes, Margie’s heart would close up in fear.
People who refused to love had nothing to lose. That was as close as she could come to a guarantee.
Tags: Hoss Cartwright
To be so despondent you don’t even give a thought to your child? It makes me wonder what happened that the original scenario didn’t play out. What’s embarrassment and guilt if you know deep down you’ll be forgiven and welcomed with open arms? Sad.
The major difference between my alternate version of the story and the original episode is – apart from Margie surviving the birth of her child – that Hoss never managed to trace her.
I think Margie is a small person with many flaws, and she continues to make all the wrong and destructive choices. She can’t see the consequences and the context. She can’t stand her own life and makes those who love her pay for her problems. She was a very interesting character to write about; because she stirred up such conflicting emotions. I can’t excuse her in any way. But I still feel sympathy for her.
Thank you for reading and taking a moment to comment, Jojay!
Oh, my. This is a perfectly executed picture of quiet despair. Very poignant.
Thank you, Belle, for reading and leaving such a kind comment on my story. I’m so glad to hear my picture of Margie was moving, thank you so much for letting me know!
Oh, Margie. I think that Hoss, although he was young, did know exactly what that saying meant. Maybe it was his gentle way of trying to teach you a lesson. Just because Erica was created without love doesn’t make her undeserving of love. All children, whatever the circumstances of their birth, deserve and need love. I loved this response to the challenge, foreverfree. Great job!
I think so too. That it was Hoss’ way of trying to warn her, or gently teaching her a lesson.
You are so right. All children deserve to feel loved and accepted. If a child don’t have that memory of being loved, they are condemned to search the world for something to fill that void. But no matter what they do – good or bad – they will still fell empty. What they are really searching for is that one thing that was denied to them at birth; unconditional love and unqualified acceptance.
Thank you so much for reading and for leaving such a great comment, Juanita!
Although I like Margie a lot, what can we say? I thought she and Hoss would’ve made a good pair but as we can see, Margie still only thinks of herself and not how much she’s able to hurt the ones who love her most. Nicely done, Susanna!
Thank you, Pat.
Yes, it’s true that Margie still only thinks of herself and not how much she’s hurting the ones who love her most. Especially when it comes to Erica and the impact Margie’s indifference and lack of affection is going to have on her life. It’s not excusable, but are her actions and reactions understandable?
Thank you very much for reading and leaving a comment! And for your quick beta help with this one!
Such a sad tale. Poor Erica.
‘If only’ and ‘what might have been’. Oh Margie, dreams can come true, if you just believe and do something to make them come true.
I love the way you direct your comment to Margie. She deserves such kind and compassionate words as yours. I’ve really come to feel for her after writing this short little “story”.
In Margie’s eyes, she lost everything because she believed in her dreams and acted on them. She dreamed about a future with Hoss, and was about to get it. But she also dreamed of traveling the world, and Hoss didn’t want to go further than San Francisco on their honeymoon. When she insisted, he told her that they could travel later. In a few years. But Margie kept dreaming, and when Mark Connors told her about his adventures in places faraway, she was mesmerized. He offered to fulfill her dreams and visit all the exotic places she had read about, and Margie made the mistake that would cause her to break Hoss’ heart, exploit her father and lose everything she ever loved and dreamt about.
I think she had endured more pain than she knew how to handle. And the only solution was to shield herself from feelings. She was too scared to lose Erica to allow herself to acknowledge any feelings of love. Except for short moments behind closed doors. And without her daughter ever knowing it.
Thank you very much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment, BWF!
Even the alternate version of life didn’t turn out well for Margie. She was given another chance to love, with her daughter, but pulled back even farther, deeper into the loveless abyss. So, so sad how one decision affected so many lives. (Interesting perspective for a WHI).
Thank you for your comment! No, the alternate version didn’t turn out well for Margie. In the original episode, she has given up all hope and will to live when Hoss finds her. She doesn’t want to see him or anybody. It’s when he assures her that they will have their future as a family, build that house they talked about – she realizes there is a future. She says to Hoss that she was so foolish; she had it all in front of her the whole time.
I think there could have been a happy ending. If she had survived and Hoss would have found her. She loved Hoss, and was seduced by the dream of traveling the world. I don’t think she ever really loved Connors. But she mixed up love with his siren song of that round-the-world trip. And when she realized her tremendous mistake, she was pregnant and completely alone with her guilt, shame and humiliation.
She was given the chance to come home to her father, but couldn’t take it. She was also given the chance to love her daughter, but after everything that had happened – she didn’t dare.
I’m glad she survived but at what a price? Closing her heart off even to her child only messes her up more and creates a messed up little girl – who when she grows up is also going to look for love in all the wrong ways and places. If she did go in search of Hoss and discovered his fate (presuming he did die in this universe) would she allow herself to cry and therefore feel?
I agree with you. It’s a good thing that Margie survived, but her daughter is growing up in the complete absence of love. And what are her chances of a decent future? Will she be able to find a husband who truly loves her? And will she be capable of loving anybody?
At this point in time, Hoss is still alive. (It’s around season 11-12). Maybe she happens upon him when he’s in San Francisco? Maybe she receives word that he has passed away? Maybe she would allow herself to cry and therefore feel, maybe it’s too late. Who knows?
Thank you for reading and for leaving a comment.