Summary: In this tongue-in-cheek tale told in rhyme, Hoss makes a surprising discovery in the snow and brings home another stray for Christmas
Rating:  G  Words 1,000
Written for the 2022 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar

 

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Bonanza
~*~*~ Advent Calendar ~*~*~
* Day 13 *

 

The Christmas Lamb
(A Not-Quite-Epic Poem)

 

In the midst of December a few years ago

Hoss Cartwright was riding alone in the snow

He’d mended the fences, re-roofed the line shack

And was homeward bound with the wind at his back

He wore a wool scarf and a ten gallon hat

And a sherpa-lined coat that made him look fat

He was a big man as everyone knew

(His boot was a triple-wide size twenty-two!)

Inside his great chest beat a heart made of gold

Few things made him grumpy, though one was the cold.

 

He hated the winter, its blustery weather

That chafed at his hide and froze up his leather

His toes all had chilblains, his cheeks were both chappy

His saddle was stiff and that made him unhappy

His nose was all frosty, his fingers like ice

If he could stop winter he wouldn’t think twice

No more blue northers if he had his way

No snow at all except on Christmas Day

A gentle snowfall just after midnight

So folks could wake up to a Christmas of white.

 

Memories of home had him feeling quite sorry

For his miserable state as he endeavored to hurry

His faithful steed Chubb through the glistening trees

(His eyebrows and lashes were starting to freeze)

Plodding along with miles yet to go

A ribbon of red trailing tracks in the snow

Put him on guard, and he pulled up the reins

Turning to follow, he found some remains

An unlucky creature had met its demise

A closer look yielded up quite a surprise.

 

A sheep in cow country! The thought was absurd

Must be a stray from that trespassing herd

They’d chased off last summer when Adam got snatched

The squatter’s plot doomed before it was hatched

In nature the strongest prevail in the end

And the weak have such little hope to defend

As this poor ovine was now testament

Hoss for a moment bowed to sentiment

In the circle of life, we are born and we die

(But it was only a sheep so he didn’t cry.)

 

And then in a twinkling he heard in the brush

A strange bleating sound. Chubb neighed; Hoss said, “Hush!”

The sound came again, and then one time more

And again and again, louder each than before

Hoss sprang from his saddle to check out the matter

(Never mind that his teeth were starting to chatter.)

He clenched his jaw firm in determination

And strode toward the thicket for exploration

He had a gut feeling of what was in there

(And wished he’d worn two pairs of long underwear!)

 

“Hey there, little fella,” said Hoss with a grin,

It was a lamb, no doubt the sheep’s next of kin

And that’s when he felt it, the sting of a tear

“Well, one thing’s for sure, I can’t leave you out here.”

So Hoss did what Hoss does on a typical day

Another stray rescued, but what would Pa say?

He’d frown and he’d fuss, he’d rant and he’d scold

(Hoss was dreading his homecoming, truth be told.)

The lamb nestled snugly inside his big coat

(Maybe Pa would believe it was a baby goat?)

 

When he finally got home he was met with guffaws

But his brothers’ reactions were not quite his Pa’s.

“We’re a CATTLE ranch, Hoss, and you bring home a SHEEP?!

I’m sorry but this is a stray you can’t keep.

I don’t care if you’ve named him, he’s still got to go.

The subject is closed. That’s my final word – NO!”

Adam smirked, “Well now, just what were you thinking?

You should think about burning that jacket. It’s stinking,”

Joe agreed with a scowl as he wrinkled his nose

“He’s right, boy. You sure don’t smell like a rose.”

 

With three against one, the odds were unfair

But he wouldn’t give up or give in to despair

Pa’s bark was often much worse than his bite

And Hoss was ready to put up a fight

“Aw Pa, have a heart! Look at that face!

He just needs some food and a nice warm safe place.

I’ll bed him in the barn, keep out of your sight.

We can’t turn him out in the cold dark night.

After all, it’s the season for kindness and sharing

And this little lamb needs loving and caring.”

 

His brothers’ big eye rolls notwithstanding

Hoss gently pleaded without demanding

He could tell his Pa was beginning to sway

“For Christmas’ sake, Pa. What d’ya say?”

Brows slowly unfurled, then came a sigh

Pa studied the lamb and gave his reply

“In light of the season, for now he can stay.

But you find a solution by Christmas Day

Or else. In the meantime, not one peep!

Now I’m going upstairs to get some sleep.”

 

“Brother,” said Joe, “you should get on the stick

If I were you I’d work out something quick

December 25th will soon be here.”

“If you’ve got an idea,” said Hoss, “I’m all ears.”

“Here’s one,” Adam offered. “If I may say,

How about lamb chops on Christmas Day?”

“Keep your mitts off my mutton, not a finger, ya hear?

If you’ve got any sense you’ll be smart and steer clear!”

“Relax,” he replied. “Just forget what I said.

It was only in jest off the top of my head.”

 

The end of the story should be no surprise

For Hoss was not only tender but wise

Fluffy the lamb as he came to be known

Was by Christmas Day very much at home

In the arms of eight year-old Mary Jane Rhett

Who had always wanted a lamb for a pet

(He followed her everywhere, even to school

which was of course against the rule.)

While the Cartwright table was absent of lamb

They feasted on Peking Duck and baked ham.

 

 

 

Character: Hoss

Item: Red ribbon (or in this case, a metaphorical “ribbon of red”)

(The use of my prompt may be a stretch, and yes a small detail though not insignificant.)

 

Link to the 2022 Bonanza Brand Advent Calendar – Day 14 – Good Will Toward Men by Patina