Summary: After Joe is found alive after months spent in captivity, his family’s joy is short-lived. Now Ben, Adam, and Hoss must decipher why Joe adamantly insists that for the rest of his life he must “Stay in the Darkness ”
Rating  T-13. Word count 40,990

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Stay In the Darkness

 

(***Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before *** Edgar Allan Poe, excerpt from “The Raven”)

The die had been cast and everything was falling perfectly in order just as planned.  Preston Hilliard stood there at the desk in his study and looked over the agreement which his attorney had drawn up.  He had held on to the water rights which Ben Cartwright had sought after for years.   The sale of those rights had been in the works for months, and was finally going to become a reality, or so the other man thought.  Preston didn’t need the money which Ben had offered him.  He just needed what would be the outcome of the pending purchase.  For years Preston had planned and calculated his revenge.  Like a cat toying with a rat, he had gone back and forth in agreeing on the sale of the water rights and then withdrawing his offer at the last moment.  Now, however, it was the right time.  The Cartwrights had increased the size of their large cattle herd by twenty five per cent and they would drastically need the extra water before taking the steers to market.  Preston knew that his property, with plenty of water, was situated in a prime location, and so did Ben Cartwright.  Now, after signing the preliminary agreement, Ben would be coming to the Hilliard ranch with money and a ready pen.

Preston reached across his desk and pulled up the picture of his only son, Franklin.  The boy had been killed five years ago, though to his father, it was only yesterday in his mind and heart.  He closed his eyes and could still remember what he had been told about the shooting.  When it happened, Joseph Cartwright was eighteen and the same age as his son.  Both teenagers had many run-ins with each other over the years.  Franklin detested the good looking curly headed Cartwright.  There had been fist fights during the boy’s school days and Preston had doctored many wounds which had been inflicted by Joe Cartwright’s left fist.  Though both fathers had agreed to keep their sons away from each other it hadn’t worked.  Preston filled his shot glass with brandy and he sank down into his chair.  On that last day of his son’s life, Franklin had decided it was time to go up against Joe Cartwright using a gun and not his fists.  As soon as he had spotted the youngest Cartwright son coming out of the Silver Dollar Saloon, Franklin had decided to shoot him from behind.  Joe wouldn’t have stood a chance if it hadn’t been for the fact that his brother Adam had seen what was coming first.  After stopping long enough to pay their bar tab, Adam swung the doors to the saloon open and had caught the sight of young Hilliard drawing down on Little Joe.  He shoved his brother out of the way and fired at the same time.  Franklin had fallen to the dirt stone cold dead.  The judge had ruled that the shooting had been done in self-defense, but to Preston Hilliard it was an out and out murder.

Preston cussed under his breath and set the picture of Franklin back onto his desk.  Five years.  Five years of mourning his only son.  Now, at last there would be justice.  It was the justice of a father’s vengeance, and with it, was his desire to see Adam Cartwright bleed.  He also wanted to watch Ben Cartwright mourn for his youngest son.  No, he didn’t intend on killing either of the other man’s sons, but he would see that they would both be injured.  And, Joseph Cartwright would pay in the worse possible way, thereby also causing pain to his father.  The Bible said an eye for an eye, and Preston reasoned that he could come pretty close to that, but without ending up in jail due to his actions.  There would be Hell to pay, and this would be the day that the payment was made.

“I just seen old man Cartwright and Adam in town,” The voice from the next room rang out, as another man entered the house.  “I don’t think it will be too long before they get here.”

Preston looked up to see J.T. Bridger standing across from his desk staring at him.   J.T. was a known gunslinger and one of the fastest shots in all of Nevada.  He had been hired by Preston to aid in his vengeance.  Mr. Hilliard smiled at the other man and nodded.  “You got the kid ready?”

“Yep, and I betcha he’ll have one heck of a headache when he comes around,” J.T. answered.

“Good.  I’ll bring him to the front door for old Ben to see one last time just as soon as you make quick work of Adam.  Now, remember, I want him hit good but don’t kill him.”

J.T. pulled out his six-shooter and gave it a fanciful spin before holstering it again.  “That’s what I’m getting paid for.  I’ll just put a good hole in him.”

Preston smiled as he stood and patted the other man’s shoulder.  “That’s what I asked for.   I know you can do it.  Adam’s quick, but I know you’re a lot quicker and more accurate too!  Now did you get rid of the pinto?  I don’t want them to see any sign of how we got the kid here.”

“Yeah, I got it back to the Ponderosa.  The kid was out looking for strays and no-one was around to see me get him here.  I tucked his gun, holster and coat inside his saddlebags just to be safe and  I’ve made sure all of my tracks were covered too.”

Preston laughed and replied, “Well, old Ben will be looking for a stray of his own soon but he won’t find him!”

“The men will be here just as soon as we see Ben pack Adam to Virginia City to get doctored.  It might have taken you five years, but I know this will be worth it to you.  Ben won’t know what hit him when this is all done.”

“You’re right.  Now, let’s you and me get everything ready,” Preston returned, and the two men walked into the next room.  Their guests would be arriving soon and water rights would be the very last thing they would be discussing this visit.

 

“Pa, wonder why Hilliard suddenly decided to let you purchase the water rights?” Adam asked, as he rode next to his father.

Ben shrugged his shoulders as he cast a look over at his eldest son.  “I don’t exactly know, Son.  But, I spoke to him last week and he told me that he no longer wanted to spend his time thinking about old wounds.  He said he wanted peace between both of our families and he figured this would make a good start in that direction.”

Adam shook his head, unconvinced about the man’s true intentions.  He stared over at his pa and replied, “I’m still not all that certain, Pa.”

“You know you don’t have to go over there with me.  I believe I’m old enough to handle myself, you know?”  Ben chuckled.

“Yes, Sir, I know,” Adam grinned.  “But, with Hoss up at the timber camp, and my baby brother out rounding up strays, it gives me a reason to just take it easy.  Besides, you bought me such a grand lunch at the international House it’s the least I can do.”

“Well, we are just about there now.  And, it shouldn’t take too long, so maybe you could manage to go help Joe after we’re done?”

Adam laughed, “Slave driver!  Maybe the kid will have all the strays rounded up before we get home and I’ll catch a break for a change?”

“I rather doubt Joseph will work THAT diligently!” Ben smiled.  “I’m sure he will have saved some strays for you!  And, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about calling Joe the “kid”.  The boy just turned twenty-three, so maybe you should find a new nickname for him?  He’s not quite a little boy you know, and he gets irritated when you call him that.”

“Hoss still calls him short shanks, Pa,” Adam argued.

“Well, compared to Hoss I guess he does have short shanks,” Ben laughed.

“Compared to Hoss we all have short shanks!  But, okay, Pa, I’ll try to think of something a little better than calling Joe the kid.  Maybe I’ll just call him lazy?”

Ben shook his head and sighed, “Okay you can keep calling Joseph kid.  It was just a thought.  I doubt you changing his nickname to lazy will go over very well.  Let’s get moving.   We said two o’clock and it’s almost that now!”

The two Cartwrights nudged both horses, sending them into a gallop as they grew closer to the Hilliard ranch.

 

Adam and Ben dismounted as they passed through the wooden gate that led to the Hilliard homestead.  They spied Preston standing next to a wagon, working on setting a wheel back on its axle.

“Where’s those hands of yours, Preston?  Shouldn’t they be here doing all of the hard work?” Ben called out, trying to sound congenial.   He ambled over to the man while Adam had chosen to stay by the two horses.

“Ben, I did a danged fool thing and gave them the day off,” Preston fought to smile and reached out to shake the other man’s hand.

“Here, let me help you,” Ben offered as he moved closer to the wagon wheel, after shaking Preston’s outstretched hand.

“Sure appreciate it, Ben.  I’ve got those papers in the house all ready for you, but I was hoping to get this wheel set on before getting to that.  Just get ready while I pull down on this plank and it won’t take more than a minute.”

“Hey, Cartwright!” came a shout from the covered front porch.

Adam turned his head in time to see the gunman heading down the porch steps.  He recognized him to be J.T. Bridger.

“What are you doing here, Bridger?  I figured you would be in town trying to plant someone up in boot hill?” Adam replied and watched the other man carefully.

Ben and Preston turned towards the sound of both Adam and J.T.

“Preston, what’s that gunslinger doing here?” Ben asked warily, as he stopped readying to push the wagon wheel into place.

“I’ve no idea,” Preston responded.  He waved over towards J.T. and called out, “I thought I told you not to hang around here anymore?”

“Oh, I ain’t staying long,” J.T. replied, and moved a bit closer to Adam.  He held his right hand down at his holster.

“Ben, I’m going to go get my shotgun.  I’ll be right back,” Preston announced and hurried into his house.

Adam watched as the fingers on J.T.’s right hand spread out.  He knew it was a “tell”, and that meant he was getting ready to reach for his weapon.  Adam, in turn, reached for his own Colt.

Ben was frozen in that one moment, caught totally unawares as he watched helplessly as Adam and J.T. drew on each other.  Two shots rang out loudly and Adam fell to the ground.  Ben had drawn his own Colt but before he could seek revenge on the gunman his name was shouted at by Preston.

“Holster that gun, Ben.  You go get Adam on into town to the doctor’s.  And, you ain’t got any other move than that!” Preston shouted.

J.T. joined Preston up by the front door and they watched as Ben bent down to check on his son’s wound.  Adam had been shot in the side and there was a good deal of blood flowing out from the tear in his black shirt.

“This was all planned, Preston!” Ben shouted, enraged by the other man’s betrayal.  “I’ll be bringing back the sheriff with me once I get my son fixed up.”

Preston laughed and responded loudly, “It was a fair fight, your boy and J.T. both drew on each other, and you seen it!  Now, go get out of here!”

“Come on, Boy,” Ben muttered as he helped Adam up onto his saddle.  Adam slumped forward, trying his best to stay up on Sport as his father grabbed his reins to lead the horse into town.

Just as Ben Cartwright began to go under the Hilliard Ranch sign, there above the entrance, Preston shouted for him to turn around.

Ben caught sight of his youngest son laying there in the doorway to the house.  The boy was apparently unconscious and J.T. had him lifted up by the front of his shirt.  Ben noticed the Colt revolver the gunman had pointed at Joe’s forehead.

“If you don’t get moving I’m going to let J.T. kill your boy.  You know, kind of like Adam there killed my boy, Ben?  I’d get moving if I were you.  I’ll give you exactly thirty seconds!”

“If you hurt my son, I will tear you into pieces and then I will kill you!” Ben threatened loudly.  His heart was firmly lodged in his throat with fear over what might happen to the boy once he left.

“You go and get Adam tended and I swear I won’t kill Joe, and I won’t let J.T. kill him either.  I just want you to spend a few hours knowing what it feels like to lose a son, and then you can have the kid back.  Now get out of here before I change my mind!” Preston warned.

Ben reached across to Adam and tried to keep him from falling off his mount.  He couldn’t do anything at that moment to help Joseph.  Ben’s eyes misted up just looking at his incapacitated youngest son.  “I’ll go.  But, I’ll be back!”  Ben shouted and turned his and Adam’s horses towards Virginia City.

At the precise moment that Ben and Adam Cartwright turned their horses to ride away, Joe became conscious and witnessed their departure.  He shook his head and tried to call out to them but they never heard his plea for help.

“Your pa made his choice, Boy,” Preston laughed and kicked Joe back down onto the threshold.

“Here you go!” J.T. yelled down to Joe as he dropped a cloth filled with ether over his mouth.  “It’s time for you to go to sleep for a very long time!”

Joe tried to fight the material that was now firmly placed over his mouth and nose.  He tried to figure out exactly what was going on before falling into the black void again.  All that Joe Cartwright would ever remember from that moment forward was how he had watched his pa and brother simply ride away leaving him in the hands of pure evil. 

 

Before Ben Cartwright had made it into Virginia City with his injured and semi-conscious son, two men appeared at the Hilliard ranch.  They were bid inside by Preston and J.T. Bridger.  Taking a seat at the large dining table the plan was gone over several times.

“The kid won’t give you any trouble.  We knocked him out good so you both have plenty of time to make it into Littleton.  The cabin is secluded and it’s been completely stocked with everything you need to hold up a good long while,” Preston reiterated.

“I hope you’ve got us some whiskey,” the older of the two brothers said with a grin.  “I mean if we have to stay put for such a long time at least we should have some creature comforts.”

“I saw to that,” Preston nodded.  He stared over at the portly man, the older of the two.  He was rough looking, to say the least.  Not only was he on the fat side, but he was short and balding.  His name was Silas Dalton and his younger brother looked nothing like him.  Thorn Dalton was in his early forties, whereas his brother was fifty.  Thorn had a full head of hair and was tall and slim.  But, they were both two of the lowest forms of scum that could be found in all of Nevada.  Preston had helped get the two brothers out of some trouble with the Paiute Indians earlier the previous year.  No-one else had suspected that the two men who were now going to tend to Joe Cartwright had been involved in a very heinous act that tied directly to the Chief of the tribe’s immediate family.  And, because he held the knowledge of all of that, Preston knew that he could trust both of the weasels who now sat at his table.

“You gonna give us our money now?” Thorn asked greedily.

“Here’s half,” Preston nodded and handed over an envelope.  “You will get the other half once I know you’ve done your job well.  I want that boy to stay alive.  Don’t kill him no matter how much you might want to.”

Silas stood from the table and walked over to the fireplace where the sofa sat.  He stared down at Joe Cartwright passed out there on the cushions.  “He’s a pretty little kid, ain’t he?” Silas laughed.

“He’s the same age that my son would be now,” Preston called over to the man.  “I will be in touch about when and if we will let him go.  But, I need you both to keep quiet and don’t try to contact me.”

Thorn walked across the room to join his brother.  “I want the kid blindfolded.  Just in case you decide we’ve got to let him go eventually I don’t want anyone who can identify me.”

“There’s a nice root cellar for him, he won’t be able to see you unless you want him to,” Preston replied and walked over and joined the two despicable brothers.

“I got my own plans for him,” Silas smiled and then grabbed the ropes he had brought inside of the house.  “Let’s get the kid’s wrists and ankles tied then we’ll haul him out.  We’ll be long gone before old man Cartwright comes back and brings the sheriff with him.”

“J.T. — go on and help these two get Joe loaded in the wagon and on their way.”

“Okay, Boss, good thing you had them bring their own buckboard so yours won’t be missing.”

“Everything has been thought of in advance.  Now, don’t forget you’re going to wipe away the tracks of that wagon as they head out of here.”

“Right,” J.T. answered, and then helped the two brothers outside and over to their wagon with the incapacitated young man.

Preston stood in the doorway content with the fact that years of planning had now become a reality.  He knew Sheriff Roy Coffee would be paying him a visit soon, perhaps with Ben there at his side.  It wouldn’t matter.  Adam had been shot in a fair fight, as they had deemed his son’s death to be.  And, as for Joe Cartwright, well, he would swear he had never seen the boy and had no idea why Ben would suggest he had.  Preston smiled, revenge was indeed sweet.

 

Ben Cartwright leaned forward in one of the hard wooden chairs there in the waiting room of Doctor Paul Martin’s office.  The fingers of both of his hands were braided together as he fought his worry.  With a bowed head resting there over his two clasped hands Ben waited for word from the doctor concerning his eldest son.  It had been a grueling trip into Virginia City from the Hilliard ranch.  Not only had he fought to keep Adam up in the saddle, but he also fought his desire to turn both horses back and rescue Joseph from the clutches of Preston and Bridger.  Ben knew he hadn’t had a choice in the matter.  Adam had to be brought into town to have his gunshot doctored.  His father had stopped two times on the way in to Virginia City just to try and ebb the flow of the young man’s blood coming from his injury.  Ben had added the extra neckerchief from his saddlebags over the one he had worn around his neck to his son’s wound.  It hadn’t helped all that much, but he knew it was the best he had with them at the time.

“Ben?” Paul called as he reached for his friend’s shoulder and set his hand there.

“Oh — sorry — I guess I didn’t hear you,” Ben apologized and stood up quickly.  “How’s Adam doing, Paul?”

The doctor smiled as he tried to ease the other man’s mind.  He had been told by the anxious father what had happened, and Paul knew that Ben Cartwright carried a mountainous weight on his shoulders at the time.  “He’s going to be fine.  Glad you got him here so soon.  He has lost a lot of blood, but it could’ve been a lot worse.”

“And now — is he awake — can I see the boy?”

“I’ve sedated him, so he won’t know you’re here.  I know you’re anxious to see if Roy has gotten back from the Hilliard place yet.  Why don’t you go and see your son first, and then go down to the sheriff’s office and check in?” Paul offered.

“Roy said he would come here and talk to me, so guess I’m good here for the time being.  Oh, and I sent someone to fetch Hoss here,” Ben answered, and then turned into the examination room with Doctor Martin.

Ben reached down and settled his right hand on Adam’s arm and then looked up at the doctor.  “I know the bullet passed right through, but how bad is the injury?”

Paul attempted a smile, though it lost its desired effect when he noticed the furrowed brow of the worried father.  “It’s not all that bad considering, especially since he went up against Bridger.  I’ve not had many patients survive a gunfight with that ruffian.  I’m glad Adam beat the odds.  You can take him home in the morning and then have him rest a week or so.  He’s got quite a few stitches right now, but I can get them out in about ten days.  You know the drill by now, keep him in bed, have Hop Sing get some good food into him and as long as he doesn’t develop a fever he should be just fine real soon.”

“Thank you, Paul, as always I don’t know what we’d do without you!  I also thank God that Adam isn’t hurt worse,” Ben paused and closed his eyes suddenly.  He couldn’t shake the vision of Joseph and how he had looked laying there inside the doorway with a gun pointed at his head.

Paul knew why his friend had stopped talking.  Ben’s life revolved around his three sons and they were all very dear to him.  But, if he had a noticeable soft spot to his heart, it was there due to that youngest boy of his.  Paul didn’t blame the man for his weakness concerning Little Joe.  He found that boy to be endearing as well, and he was just the boy’s doctor.  Joe Cartwright was aggravating, rambunctious, and definitely accident prone.  However, once a person got to know the curly headed boy well, they could see through the image he tried his best to project.  Joe wanted everyone to think of him as strong, arrogant and uncaring.  But, the boy was quite the opposite.  He had his share of weak moments, along with having a tender heart, which could be very easily damaged.  And, anyone who really knew Joe was very well aware of the fact that the youngest of the Cartwrights drew his strength from his pa.  Now, Joe didn’t have his father around him, and Ben didn’t have the boy he most often doted on.  Paul prayed that Sheriff Coffee would find the boy safe and sound and return him to Ben and to all of those who loved the kid.

“I know you’re worried about Joe, Ben.  Let’s just hope for the best, okay?”

Ben sighed and sat down alongside of his eldest son.  “I’m trying, Paul — but leaving Joseph like that is tearing me up,” he confessed.

The two men heard the bell above the office door ringing and they hurriedly left the back room.  They saw Roy Coffee and his deputy Clem Foster standing there in the foyer and both men had frowns on their faces.

“Did you get Joe?  Is he okay?” Ben sang out as he walked over to the two men.

Roy shook his head and his eyes met those of the worried father’s.  “Ben, we checked the whole place out and no sign of Little Joe.  Preston said he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.  He swears Joe was never there and that he hasn’t seen him in ages.  He admitted that Bridger shot Adam, but he says it was a fair fight.  Preston said both J.T. and Adam drew on each other.”

“It was a set up just like I told you, Roy!” Ben protested loudly.  “Preston got me there to sign that agreement for water rights and he obviously planned for that gunslinger to be there when we showed up!  I saw Joseph there in the doorway just like I told you.  That killer was holding a gun to my son’s head when Preston told me to leave to get Adam looked at.  He said that he wouldn’t shoot Joseph and he wouldn’t let J.T. harm him either, just as long as I left right then.”

Roy nodded and reached over for Ben’s arm, trying to settle him down.  “Ben, both Clem and I checked everywhere.  We went through that house with a fine toothed comb along with the barn and all the out buildings.  We even checked the danged outhouse!  There ain’t any sign of Little Joe ever being there.  We also checked for tracks and there wasn’t any besides your two horses, Preston’s and that gunslinger’s horse.  Don’t look like nobody else had been to the Hilliard ranch.  I checked with his hired hands and they’ve all been in town all day since early this morning.  Preston said he gave them all the day off.”

“Then they’ve taken Joseph off somewhere!  He had plenty of time to do that between the time I left and the time you and Clem got out there,” Ben continued to protest.

“How’s Adam?” Clem eagerly changed the subject.  He could read the mounting hatred written all over Ben Cartwright’s face and couldn’t blame the man.

“He’ll be okay,” Paul chimed in, trying to diffuse the angry father.  “He’ll sleep most of the night but he should get to go home tomorrow.”

“Well, at least J.T. didn’t add another victim to his mounting list,” Roy nodded.  “Ben, I’m not going to give up looking for Joe, you know that!  Clem and me will go on out to where Joe was rounding up strays once Hoss gets here.  That way he can show us the area and you can stay and take care of Adam.”

Ben felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him after taking in all the information that the lawman had provided.  He sank back down into the chair he had vacated earlier and dropped his head down into his hands.  “Oh, Joseph,” he whispered, fighting his fears about what had happened to his youngest.  “Where are you, Boy?” he asked, this time to himself and not to anyone else in the waiting room.

 

Joe Cartwright slept straight through the day and a half journey to the cabin just on the outskirts of the obscure town of Littleton.  The strong ether had rendered the boy unconscious for all that time and it was only the fact that his body had been tossed up against a rough stone wall in the root cellar that brought him back around.  Coming to with a splitting headache, Joe tried to figure out where he was and what had happened.  He could feel the tightness of the ropes which bound his wrists and ankles.  Joe struggled against his bonds, but to no avail.

“Hey!”  Joe shouted out into the darkness.  “What am I doing here?  Who’s out there?”

The sound of laughter was the only reply to his questions. But, he tried again anyway.

“What’s going on anyhow?  What— are you too yellow to show your face?!”

“Shut up or we’ll come down there and close that mouth for you!  We’ll talk to you when we’re good and ready and not before.  Trust me you don’t want to see us right now!  We’ve got a lot of ways to keep that mouth of yours quiet and it won’t be pleasant.” 

Joe continued to struggle with his ropes, deciding to wait on asking any more questions at least at the present time.  He closed his eyes and tried to remember where he had been prior to waking in the dark cellar.  Then the vision came back to him.  Joe remembered seeing his father and brother riding away from him.  He shook his head confused by that fact.  Pa couldn’t possibly have missed seeing him lying there.  And, if he hadn’t missed seeing that, why had Pa left anyway?  Joe had a sinking feeling in his chest.  The memory of what he had heard Preston Hilliard say reverberated in his troubled mind.  “Your pa made his choice, Boy” Joe fought the feeling again. “Why, Pa?” Joe whispered into the darkness.  There was no answer.

 

Ben Cartwright had seen to it that Adam was brought home and settled into his bedroom.  After making sure that his son was resting peacefully he had turned his care over to the Chinese member of the family, Hop Sing.  Hoss reported back in to his father that he had taken the sheriff and deputy to where his little brother had rounded up stray cows the previous day.  There had been no sign of Joe anywhere, including out in that area.  Ben had his middle boy tell Roy that he wanted to meet him and go out to the Hilliard ranch that afternoon.  Hoss had delivered the message and, now, Ben readied his horse to make the trip.

Around two in the afternoon, exactly twenty-four hours since last being at the Hilliard ranch, Ben showed back up there with Roy Coffee at his side.  Preston came out onto the porch when he heard the two horses enter through the front gate.

“I’m surprised to see you again, Roy!” Preston called as he stepped down from the porch.  “So, did your kid finally come home, Ben?”

“You KNOW he hasn’t!” Ben yelled across the yard.  “Now, where have you taken Joseph?  And, I want to know right now!”

“Like I told Roy here, I haven’t seen the brat and I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.  He was never here,” Preston answered.

“Preston, if you know anything at all about Joe’s whereabouts I’d advise you to tell us now.  It ain’t gonna go down well with the judge if we find out you’ve got him hid out somewhere,” Roy addressed the man.

“I’ve said my peace, Roy.  Now, if you’ve got nothing else to talk to me about I’ve got work to do.”

Ben dismounted and headed towards Preston, his fists clenched.  Roy Coffee had to hurry over to him to stop what might turn into a real brawl.

“Ben!  Ben, don’t do nothing rash.  We’ll find the boy let’s leave this to the law now.  Beating Preston bloody isn’t gonna solve anything!” the sheriff urged, as he grabbed the angered father’s arm to try and stop his move over to Preston.

“I’d listen to him, Ben.  Now get off of my property the both of you!”

Ben bit back his ire and turned back to get Buck.  “I’m not through with you by a long shot, Preston.  You’d better pray that I find Joseph soon and unharmed or even the vultures won’t want you!”

“C’mon, Ben,” Roy called over and he mounted his horse.  “Preston, if you’re lying to me I’ll make sure they throw the book at you at your trial.”

“Goodbye!” Preston sang out, and turned back inside his house.

Ben and Roy exchanged woeful glances and headed back to the Ponderosa.  A search was underway already and every single Ponderosa hired hand, aside from a few that needed to stay with the herd, were out looking for Joe. Ben prayed that he would be found, but he couldn’t help the feeling of hopelessness creeping up from his gut.

While Adam convalesced over the next week trying to heal from his gunshot wound, both Ben and Hoss spent every waking moment trying to search for the missing boy.  Cochise had been found safely grazing on meadow grass only a mile from the ranch house the same day his master had disappeared.  There wasn’t anything missing from Joe’s gear.  They had recovered the boy’s gun, holster and jacket from inside his saddlebags.  It seemed like yet another dead end in the search.  Tired, worried and distracted both men made it back home late and checked to see if there had been any answers to the many telegraphs that had been sent.  There wasn’t.

Hop Sing had tried his best over that first week to tend to Adam’s injury and keep the house running smoothly.  He had prepared meals, cleaned the house, and offered an ear and a shoulder to his employer.  The cook could tell how the absence of one of the hearts of the Ponderosa was affecting all three of the others.  He wished there was something he could do.  Hop Sing had even gone to the members of the local Tong to see if they could arrange to have the mines inspected, just in case Joe had been taken into one and held.  The large Chinese shifts of workers had passed the word along, but there had been no sign of Little Joe in the whole Comstock.

“This should work,” Adam nodded and walked across the room slowly to his father’s desk where both his pa and Hoss were sitting.  He handed Ben a rough drawn sketch of his baby brother.

Ben sighed and stared hard at the likeness of Joseph on the piece of paper.  There was also a detailed description of the boy, along with his height, weight, and age.  It listed the date of his disappearance as well as a reward of five thousand dollars for information leading to his safe return.  Ben nodded and passed it over to Hoss.

Hoss rubbed at the bottom of his nose, stifling the emotion brought up by the picture of his brother.  “I’ll get this sent out tomorrow, Pa.  We’ll make sure every sheriff within a hundred miles gets a copy.”

“That’s fine, Son.  I’ve also taken several ads in different local papers with the same information,” Ben sighed, and stood from his chair when Hop Sing sang out that it was time for supper.  “Come on, Boys, let’s try to eat.”

“I ain’t hungry, Pa,” Hoss returned sullenly.

Ben clapped the big man on the back and said, “Hoss, now we’ve all got to keep up our strength in order to get this search going.  Joseph wouldn’t want us to fall apart.  You know that.”

“Pa’s right, Brother,” Adam called over.  “If we have to force ourselves to keep going in order to find the kid then that’s what we’ve got to do.  Now let’s go give it a try,” he continued to cajole the middle son.

Hoss finally sighed and turned in towards the dining room with the rest of his family; minus Little Joe.

 

Joe’s wrists were raw and bleeding.  He had spent far too much time trying to get out from under the ropes and it had done no good.  It seemed like years since he had been thrown roughly against the back wall of the cramped root cellar.  Having little to no light, Joe had no idea how long it had actually been since he had been abducted.  He squinted down at the metal plate of beans which had been left for him some time while he had slept.  They were cold and smelled rancid, but he was hungry.  Joe pulled it up and tried to fight back the smell.  He dipped the fingers of his bound hands into the beans and lifted them into his mouth.  Joe almost gagged as he forced himself to swallow.  He had to make an attempt to stay alive, though it had gotten harder as the time passed by so slowly.  As for his captors, well, they had made their presence known by the second day, though Joe had no idea if it was day or night when their shadows had drifted down the stairs.

It was just so dark and foreboding there in that cellar.  Joe felt the rough hands as they had lifted him up by his shoulders and slammed him down onto the cold ground.  Then he had been turned over and forced to keep his face down.  It had felt like a boot was pressed onto the back of his neck, but Joe wasn’t sure, he just knew that it had hurt.  The next minute came the laughter of two different men.

“We’ll be back, Boy, and then we’ve got plans for you!” laughed one of the men.

“Who— who are you?  Where am I?” Joe had asked.  

“You don’t get no answers, Kid!  And, you’d better learn to speak in a kindlier way to us or else.  Now here’s some beans, and you’d better make them last awhile.  We left you some water in that bowl next to you.  I guess you can just lap it up like a dog, huh?”

Joe sucked in a deep breath and held it in, waiting for the two men to tire of their taunts.  He felt another jolt to his shoulders as he was shifted back onto his spine.  All Joe could see after that was just the retreating shadows as they made their way up into the light.  If he had only known back then what was waiting for him up those same stairs, then he wouldn’t have fought so hard to stay alive.  It would have been better and far more merciful to have died of starvation.  Joe would soon come to know what horrors waited up in the light, and his life would never ever be the same again.

 

A month went by like a hazy blur for not only the Cartwrights on the Ponderosa but also for the boy who had been taken away from them.  The posters had been sent, the newspaper articles written and the telegraphs sent and re-sent.  Still, there was no sign or any information on Joseph Cartwright.  Adam had healed from his injury and had to deal with the regular business of running the large ranch.  Hoss and Ben spent their days and most of their nights searching for the boy they missed beyond words.  It was now Adam’s sole responsibility to keep the ranch running as best he could.  They had entrusted the cattle drive to the care of faithful ranch hands, those who had been with the Cartwrights for many years.  At least they were seasoned veterans at moving a large herd and could be trusted to get top dollar for the cattle.  After that was done, Adam chose the men to fulfill the timber contracts, thus helping his father devote all of his thoughts to finding Joe.  Adam would have preferred to be out with the rest of his family seeking clues about the boy’s whereabouts, but there was no-one else who could arrange to keep the Ponderosa running, other than him.

As for Joseph Cartwright, his first month had gone by as one long nightmare, to say the least.  What had been done to him was just short of spending an eternity in the bowels of Hell.  Joe had scars now, those visible and invisible, and as each day passed he begged for death that never came.  The two men who enjoyed hurting and tormenting their hostage, were unrelenting in all that they had done to him.  Whatever hope that Joe held in his heart over being found was now gone.  He decided that in all respects it would be much better if no-one ever knew what had become of him.  The darkness of the root cellar was his only solace, and even that was short lived as he was dragged daily up into the light where only pain waited for him.

 

Hoss Cartwright readied for yet another day of hopeless searching for his little brother.  He drew up his penknife from his bureau and poked a new hole into his leather belt.   The worried middle son had lost another ten pounds over the previous week.  The three month anniversary of Joe’s disappearance was only a few days away.  Hoss cringed at the thought.  He didn’t know how much longer the three of them could stand the uncertainty of what had happened to the boy.  At that point, even finding Joe’s body would’ve seemed like a small blessing.  All three Cartwrights wondered daily if they’d go to their graves never knowing what had befallen the youngest member of the family.  Hoss thought on his pa and how he seemed like he had aged ten years in the past few weeks.  It had been an insurmountable challenge to just go to the telegraph office to ask if there were any replies.  There never were.  No leads, no information, no nothing. The sheriff as well as the Cartwrights had kept a watchful eye out for anything unusual coming to or from the Hilliard ranch, but that had proven to be yet another dead end.  Hoss drew in a deep breath and turned out of his bedroom.  He knew his pa needed him, and so he would continue to look, to search, and to pray.  It was all that he could do, and all that Pa and Adam could do as well.  

 

“I just seen another one of those posters in town,” Thorn called to his brother as he entered the cabin.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking on that,” Silas nodded.  “I figure we’re about done here.  I mean it’s been nice — real nice.  But after three straight months, I think it’s about time we ended this.  I’m starting to get bored with the kid, you know?  I think I’ve taken about everything he had to offer, and you have too.”

Thorn laughed and sat down at the table.  He reached for the liquor bottle and took a good swig.  “You had a good time last night.  You busted him up real well!”

“I could say the same for you, Thorn!  Kid’s not gonna be walking around for a while.  He didn’t even whimper last night.   I think he’s getting accustomed to us, huh?”

“Yeah, so what do you want to do?  Go and get one more for the road?  Then we can just light out of here.  We can fix him good and he won’t go anywhere.  He can just rot and die here and then we can collect the rest of Preston’s money.”

Silas nodded and took the bottle from his brother.  “Let’s go drag him up here and have one final goodbye.  Then let’s do what we’d planned for him.  They’ll be plenty of daylight left for us to get out of this area before dark.”

“Sounds good to me, I’ll go drag him up here,” Thorn replied, and stood and headed for the stairs that led down to the darkness of the root cellar.

 

Joe had no earthly idea that he had survived two full weeks on his own there in the dank, dark root cellar.  He remembered what the two men had done to him before their departure, but that was about all he remembered now.  His leg throbbed and he found himself to be drifting in and out of consciousness.  Joe would come out of that, springing up with fear thinking that he had heard the sound of them coming back for more.  But it was just his imagination drawing him back into the darkness which surrounded him.  Once the food was all gone, and he had gone so far as to lick the metal plates which only held some encrusted remnants of old beans, Joe’s hands felt around the old root cellar.  He dragged his injured leg to one of the far walls and found a small set of shelves.  There on one of them, his hands fell on two jars.  Joe held them with his still bound wrists and moved back to his old familiar spot.  The mason jars created a problem, trying to get the lids off.  But, after striking them onto the ground a few times, Joe was able to pry the first jar open.  From the smell of the contents, he determined it to be a jar of pickles that someone had put up a long while ago.  Joe greedily drank the brine.  He had been so thirsty that even the vinegar tasting fluid was a welcomed relief to his mouth and throat.  All that Joe had been able to find before then was a small amount of rain water which had seeped in through one of the stone walls.  Joe decided to take his time, and ration what was left inside the jar.  He had one more mason jar, and he hoped that it also contained some kind of liquid which he now craved.  Joe drew out a pickle and ate it slowly.  He leaned against the wall and fought his long held desire to just quit and die.  Though Joe had no idea what fate awaited him and if the two evil men would return, it was enough at the moment to just eat something and remember to simply breathe.

The sound was back.  Joe awoke with a start, his heart beating rapidly.  Were the two brothers back?  Had they only just left?  Joe was unsure, as the passing of time was non-existent in the darkness which had been his home for so long.  He wondered if he’d soon be dragged up once more into the light and into the terror that was always waiting for him there.  Joe held his breath and wondered if he should try and play dead.  He had to laugh to himself at that thought.  He had played dead before and where had that gotten him?  Nowhere, that’s where!  The brothers always seemed to know, and Joe had payed dearly for every act of insubordination.  Of course even that was short- lived, as Joe had succumbed to a forced willingness to go along with whatever those two men wanted from him right after that first time upstairs.

“Is anyone down there?” A soft timid voice from the top of the stairs called out.

Joe struggled to stay hidden, pulling himself as close to the wall as he could manage.  He felt at that point anyone was a potential foe who would want to hurt him.  Joe could spot the shadow as it descended the stairs, he stopped breathing.

“Hello?  I’ve just come looking for some food —- is anyone down here?”

Joe closed his eyes, he tried to pray but couldn’t remember how or even to whom he should address his plea to.  *** Please — no more — please no more pain —please no more *** Joe thought inside his mind.

The man who was cloaked in the same darkness which blanketed the root cellar somehow managed to spot the figure lying there against the wall.  He moved over to the boy and stopped short of reaching to touch him.

“Boy?  Hey boy — what’re you doing down here?  Who tied you up, Boy?”

Joe slowly opened his eyes and could barely see the outline of the man who knelt down there next to him.  His voice called out in a whisper, “Don’t let them find you, Mister.”

“There ain’t nobody here, Boy.  I just walked in the front door, it was open. Nobody’s anywhere outside neither.  You got you a name, Boy?”

“I —- I don’t know anymore — I — I— use to be Joe — Joe — Joe — Cartwright,” Joe stuttered, and then closed his eyes and passed out cold.

“Poor boy, poor boy,” the man muttered and reached down and tugged at Joe’s wrists fighting to untie the lad.  “I got to go get some help for you.  I’ll be right back,” the man said, though he could tell that the injured young man was unconscious.

 

Sheriff Bill Turley sat in front of his jail taking a late afternoon nap.  The town of Littleton was mainly peaceful and it afforded him times like these to get in a few winks every so often.  That quiet time was soon ended when he heard the cry from a man hurriedly approaching the porch that led to the small jail.

“Sheriff — I need your help!” the man sounded out loudly and stopped there in front of the other man to catch his breath.

“Jax, what’s the problem?” Sheriff Turley asked.  Bill knew the man, who was known around the town as a panhandler.  He was called Jax, and no-one including Jax himself, knew if that was his first or last name.  Once and awhile he got work as a swamper at the one saloon in town.

“Found this boy who’s been hurt!  I was out looking for some food when I came upon a cabin out on the outskirts of town.  I think it’s the old Flannery place.  Anyway I went down into the root cellar and found this boy and he’s hurt.  He was also tied up.  I couldn’t see him too good, but he don’t look like a criminal to me.  I think he’s been hurt —and he seemed real scared too!  You’d better get a wagon he’s in bad shape from the looks of him!”

The sheriff stared hard at Jax and could tell that, for a change, the man hadn’t been drinking.  He figured he just better check out the situation to be on the safe side.

“I’ll go get me a wagon over at the livery.  You come on along with me and show me where the kid is,”

Jax nodded and walked with the sheriff down the street.  Jax would never have guessed that he would soon be collecting a big reward for assisting in the return of Joseph Cartwright.

 

Ben Cartwright had to sit down.  When both Adam and Hoss had come running inside the house fifteen minutes earlier with the telegraph he couldn’t believe what they had read to him.  Now he fought tears as he re-read the wire for the tenth time.  Ben sent his two sons in several directions to prepare for their trip to the town of Littleton.  The wire had advised that Joe was indeed found and that he was in very bad condition.  The sheriff urged Ben to come with a wagon, a mattress to lay the boy down onto due to his fragile condition and a set of clothes to replace the tattered ones Joe now wore.  Ben moved to his safe and drew out the reward money.  It would never seem like an adequate amount to the relieved father.  No amount of money could buy him back his youngest son and the joy he now was feeling.  And, while he knelt there at the safe, Ben took the time to thank God for returning Joseph to him.  Then, he headed up to the boy’s room to get some clothes together.  It would take a day and a half to get to Joseph, but after enduring three months of uncertainty over the boy’s fate, a day and a half seemed like hardly any time at all.

 

Mounted on Buck and Sport, Ben and Adam rode closely behind the buckboard driven by Hoss.  The thoughts of all three men were on Joe’s physical condition, and how badly the three months of captivity might have affected him emotionally.  Pushing themselves and the horses, the Cartwrights arrived in Littleton in just under two days.  They could’ve made it faster if they hadn’t needed the buckboard, but apparently Joe was in bad shape according to the telegraph from the sheriff.   Finally reaching the jailhouse, all three men hurried up the steps.

“I’m Ben Cartwright — and these are my two sons, Adam and Hoss,” Ben called over to the man wearing the star sitting behind a desk.

Sheriff Turley stood and shook the outstretched hands one at a time.  “Bill Turley,” He nodded towards the Cartwrights.  “Glad to see you all made it here in good time.’

“How’s my boy?” Ben asked.

Sheriff Turley frowned and shook his head.  “He’s had a rough time of it, Mr. Cartwright.  But, then considering how I found him and how long he’s been missing I guess that’s to be expected.  He’s down at the Doc’s house.”

“Your wire said he was found but no particulars,” Adam interjected.

“A local man was out rummaging for food, and it’s a good thing he was!  We might not have found him at all, and he was half dead when we did get to him.  He was tied up in the squalor of an old root cellar.  That old abandoned cabin hasn’t been in use for better than ten years.”

“No sign of who held him there?” Hoss took his turn at questioning the sheriff.

“No, no sign of them and no telling how long he was down there after they lighted out of there.”

“He didn’t try to escape?” Ben continued where Hoss had left off.

“Your son has a very badly broken leg, Mr. Cartwright.  And he’s down to skin and bones.  He looks like he’s been tortured to me.  Doc thinks so too.  Guess you’re ready to go see the boy, right?”

“I’ve been ready to see Joseph for three months,” Ben nodded his head, his heart aching after hearing some of the sheriff’s details.

“You can leave your horses here for now, the Doc’s place isn’t far,” Bill Turley announced as he pulled the door to the jail open.

Doctor Hosea Watkins heard the door to his parlor open and he moved from his back room to see who had entered.  He noticed the sheriff and three other men standing there.  The tall white haired man moved quickly over to the doctor, his hand stretched out.

“I’m Ben Cartwright — the boy you’re tending is my youngest son Joseph.”

“Hosea Watkins, Gents,” the doctor introduced himself and shook each hand held out to him.

“How’s my son?” Ben’s voice sounded out with great urgency.

The doctor shook his head and wore a glum look on his face.  “Pretty bad off I’m afraid, Mr. Cartwright.  He’s malnourished and has suffered an awful lot of abuse.  He’s come around a few times and I’ve gotten some fluids into him, but that’s about it.  He’s also very light sensitive, so I had to tie a cloth over his eyes.  But, from what the sheriff told me, it’s to be expected after being kept in the darkness for so long.”

“May we see him?” Ben asked, his eyes searching the office, hoping to catch a glimpse of his youngest.

Hosea nodded and turned to lead all of the men into the back room.  They milled in and spread out on all sides of the bed where Joe was apparently fast asleep.

“Joseph!  Oh Joseph!” Ben whispered, as his hand settled onto the boy’s forehead.  His eyes tracked downward and caught the sight of what looked like some kind of rope burn around his son’s neck.  The fingers of Ben’s right hand trembled as he reached down and softly stroked the marks there.

“I know he looks bad, Mr. Cartwright.  Your son has gone through unimaginable torture and abuse.  Those marks around his neck looks like someone used some kind of a garrote.  They obviously weren’t intending to kill him or he wouldn’t still be alive, but they surely terrorized the boy.  Unfortunately I’ve not been able to do too much for your son.  He got very agitated when I tried to get him out of those filthy clothes so I had to give up.  All I could do was get his face and arms washed off a bit.  He only settled down a little once I gave him that towel to cover his eyes.  Those wrists of his are raw from having been tied up for so long.  I tried to tend them as best I could.  My opinion is that you get him back home just as soon as possible.  Then maybe your local doctor might have more luck tending to him.  Is Paul Martin still there in Virginia City?”

“Yes – as a matter of fact he’s the doctor who delivered this young man,” Ben answered.  He was finding the sight of his son to be heartbreaking.

“I know him well, though I’ve not seen Paul in years.  You be sure to give him my best.  Why don’t you men go rest a bit and maybe then come back and carry this boy back to your home?”

“I’ll be sure to let Paul know you sent your regards.  And, yes, we do want to get Joe home.  But, I’d like to go and see where they kept Joseph.  I need to have a good look –and also maybe find some kind of information which might lead to whoever did this to my son.”

“Pa, I’ll stay here with Little Joe.  You and Adam go with the sheriff.  Then, once you all return we can pack Joe up and start back for the ranch,” Hoss offered, settling down into a chair next to his brother.

“That okay with you, Sheriff?” Ben asked, turning to face the man.

“Fine by me, and I’ll introduce you to the man who found the boy too.  Doc we won’t be long,” Bill said as he readied to leave for the cabin.

“Yes, of course,” the doctor nodded and watched as three very determined men readied to leave the office.

Ben brushed the matted hair from his son’s forehead and bent closer to his youngest and whispered to him, “Joseph, I’ll be right back and then we’ll get you home.  I love you, Son.”

“I won’t leave him for a minute,” Hoss reassured his pa, trying to ease his father’s mind so he could go and try to find some answers that they all needed.  Ben nodded over at his middle boy and then turned with Adam and the sheriff and left the office.

“I’m right here, Little Brother,” Hoss whispered, and set his massive right hand down onto his brother’s right arm.  “Nobody’s gonna hurt you no more, Joe!” Hoss vowed.

 

“Right over there!” the sheriff pointed to the back wall of the root cellar.  “That’s where Jax found him, and where I helped pull your boy out a little while later.

Ben bent down and noticed the filthy conditions where his son had been kept for so many months.  He saw the well-worn ropes which had bound his son’s wrists for so long, now just lying on the ground where the sheriff had laid them.  The stench inside the cramped room was awful, and all three men noticed the metal dinner plates which now housed only a few maggots on them.  Adam noticed the half empty pickle jar and another mason jar unopened next to it.  He shook his head in disgust.

“I guess you and that other man found my brother in the nick of time.  I don’t see anything else around here that my brother could have eaten.”

“Yeah, we came back and inspected the place when we got the kid to the Doc’s.  We looked upstairs too.  There’s nothing there either, other than a lot of empty whiskey bottles.  Even if there had been any food I doubt your son could’ve made it up there, Mr. Cartwright.  The doctor said his left leg was broken so bad that he never could’ve gotten out of this cabin without help.”

Ben drew in a deep breath and held it in for a long while.  He had to fight the intense anger which permeated his very soul.  Someone had taken his son away from him and had hurt him so badly and now he needed to find out who it was.  Ben knew that somehow Preston was involved, but the evil man hadn’t given up any clues in the entire three months.  Unfortunately, there hadn’t been anything that the law could do to make him tell the truth, though Ben had desired to beat it out of him every single day. 

“I’ve brought the reward money with me,” Ben began, and tried not to focus on the filthy conditions there in the cellar.  “I’d like to divide it between both you and that Jax fellow who found Joseph.”

“I’ll introduce you to him when we get back into town.  But, as for me I don’t need no money for helping you find your son.”

“You’ll have it anyway,” Ben insisted and then turned towards his eldest.  “You ready to go, Son?”

“I’ve been ready since we got here, Pa.  I don’t see anything that will lead us to who did this to Joe.”

“If I learn of anything, Mr. Cartwright, I’ll be sure to let your sheriff know.  Let’s go,” the sheriff vowed, as the three men moved up the stairs.

 

Before leaving that evening for the Ponderosa, Ben Cartwright and his two oldest sons met and thanked Jax for all that he had done to find and get help for Joe.  He had given the man most of the money, save two thousand dollars, which Jax insisted be given to Sheriff Turley.  Both Jax and Bill thanked Ben and had even assisted in getting Joe Cartwright settled into the buckboard.  The Cartwrights paid the doctor for his services and thanked him for all that he had done to tend to Joe.  With all that behind them, finally an intact Cartwright family headed homeward. 

The long road home had been strangely quiet.  Joe had only come around a few times, and though Ben had done his best to get the boy to take in some water he had refused.  It was only when Hoss had made an attempt at getting his brother to drink that Joe had responded and almost emptied an entire canteen of water.  Adam and Ben were both a bit shaken over the fact that Joe had shown no sign of wanting anything to do with either of them.  It had only been Hoss, and Hoss alone, who his little brother would even attempt to take any notice of.  Joe had refused to eat for any of the three men, and had simply turned his head at the very mention of food.  Ben was worried, especially over the fact that Joe looked so very pale and gaunt.  He was well aware that the boy needed nourishment, but decided that perhaps once Joseph was home in his own bed in familiar surroundings, that he would cooperate more.  The worried father still couldn’t take his eyes off of his youngest as he rode behind the wagon staring over at him.  The towel was still firmly in place over the boy’s eyes as the doctor in Littleton had advised.  Ben hoped that Doctor Martin could help tend Joseph once they were back to the Ponderosa, and then maybe everyone could breathe a little more easily.  Pa would soon learn that Joseph had endured far more horror during the three months he had been held captive than anyone could ever have imagined.  Coming home was not going to be the end of the ordeal, but only the beginning.

 

Hop Sing had been advised about all that Doctor Watkins had said regarding Joe’s condition.  He insisted the other three Cartwrights eat the dinner he had prepared and then he tended to Little Joe.  Bringing with him fresh water, soap and towels, the Oriental member of the family went right to work trying to scrub the boy down in an attempt to rid him of the filth from the cellar.   Joe had slept on, even after the cook had stripped him of what remained of his tattered clothes.  He settled his charge under the clean sheets and heavy quilt just as Ben entered the bedroom.

“Thank you for getting the boy cleaned and into a nightshirt.  We wanted to do that back at the doctor’s place in Littleton, but he advised us to wait.” Ben nodded over to his friend.  “I know Joseph needs a good bath, but that’ll have to wait until Paul gets here and advises us of his condition.”

“Little Joe hurt vely bad, Mister Ben,” Hop Sing called over sadly.

Ben nodded and took a seat next to the bed.  “I know.  He’s been through so much abuse I can hardly stand to think of what all was done to this boy.  Joseph didn’t want to have anything to do with me or Adam on the way home.  Hoss was the only one who could get him to drink anything.”

Hop Sing placed his hand on his employer and friend’s shoulder and replied, “Little Joe not think right yet.  Maybe head clouded.  One thing Hop Sing know and that is boy love you vely much.   Must give Little Joe time.”

Ben sighed and let his hand fall down onto Joe’s left arm.  “I know, Old Friend.  Why don’t you go and check on the other boys?  Make sure they’ve eaten their fill for me.  They’ve had a long trip.”

Hop Sing nodded and tried his best to send over a confident smile towards Ben.  “You stay, you sit with boy.  He always knows you here.  Hop Sing come back in little while,” he said and left the room to allow Ben time to be alone with the boy he had missed so much.

“Joseph,” Ben whispered, leaning towards the bed.  “You have to know I looked for you.  You know you’re all I’ve thought about all of these months.”

Joe started to come around and began to thrash his arms about.  “No!” He shouted and sat up on the bed suddenly.  The towel had fallen from his eyes and his hands frantically reached out to find it.

“Right here, Son.  I’ve got it — here you go,” Pa insisted and grabbed the towel and tried to put it into Joe’s hands.

Joe snatched the towel and pushed it up over his eyes.  “Put that lamp out!  Put it out!” Joe yelled, very agitated.

Ben was surprised to hear the intense anger in his son’s voice.  He wondered if Joe even knew he was home.  “It’s okay, Joseph — you’re here in your own room now.”

“Put it out!” Joe shouted once more, and drew his quilt up over his head.

“I’ll put it out — settle down — I’ll do it right now,” Pa tried to get his son to calm down.

Doctor Paul Martin stood in the doorway of Joe’s room and watched in shock at what had just happened between Ben and his son.  Both Adam and Hoss had given him a brief explanation on all that had gone on in Littleton and on the road home but he wasn’t expecting what he had just witnessed.

“Go away!” Joe shouted, though never coming out from under his quilt.

“Let me help,” Paul said, as he drew closer to Ben.

“I just don’t know what’s gotten him so upset.  I told him I’d put out the light,” Ben addressed the other man.

Doctor Martin knew what he had to do, though he wished it wasn’t necessary.  He reached inside his black medical bag and drew out a syringe and a vial of medicine.  He tilted the vial and drew up the sedative.  “Grab that left arm, Ben.  This won’t take but a minute.”

Pa did as was requested and pulled his son’s left arm out from under the quilt and held it still for the doctor.  The injection was done quickly and within a few minutes there was no fight left in Joe.  The two men pulled the quilt down from where Joe had brought it over his face.  He was sound asleep due to the sedative.

“Go ahead and take the towel off his eyes now, Ben.  Then I need to check him over,” Paul spoke out calmly.  He could tell that the examination wouldn’t be a pleasant one, even though his patient wouldn’t give them anymore trouble.

Ben removed the towel from his son’s eyes and stepped back and looked over at the doctor.  “I don’t know what’s going on with him, Paul.”

“Three months of God knows what, Ben.  Are you up for this?  I told Hoss and Adam to wait downstairs.  You can go down there too if you want?” Paul offered.

Ben shook his head adamantly.  “I need to see what’s been done to my son.  I need to know.”

Paul sighed to himself.   He should have known that Ben would act even more protective now that he finally had Joe back with him.  “Okay, let’s check him over good.   I already know about his eyes, but I need to make sure it isn’t anything more than light sensitivity.  I guess we’ll start there.”

The two men began the thorough examination.  After checking the boy’s eyes, they pulled up the nightshirt and then meticulously began to inspect the rest of his body.  There were scars all over, some that were very badly festered.  Doctor Martin hadn’t missed the ligature marks that were still visible around Joe’s neck.  He dabbed some ointment onto that area, and did the same with both of the boy’s wrists, and then continued with the examination. Ben grimaced when they carefully rolled Joe onto his stomach.   He suddenly felt as though he would be sick and had turned away from the sight of his son momentarily.  Finally focusing back on the still figure on the bed, Ben swore to himself that there would be hell to pay now as he got a good look at what had been done to his son.  Doctor Martin just shook his head in disbelief and tried to regroup a bit.  He noticed the way Ben now stood so rigid and silent with his dark eyes staring intently at the damage to his boy’s back.

“I’ll do what I can, Ben,” Paul offered, and reached inside his medical bag for antiseptic, medicine and bandages.  He would have to do what he could, though many of the injuries went beyond his expertise.  Joe’s back was a mass of bruises, cuts and some very deep bites which showed signs of infection.

Ben watched in stunned silence as the family physician tenderly tried to ease his son’s pain and held back the rage that they were both experiencing.

“I can’t believe this happened,” Paul muttered and shook his head indignantly.  “The poor kid went through this savagery in the past, but this time it’s far worse!   I thought I’d seen it all — but I was wrong.  What’s it been — four years, Ben?”

“Yes — it was four years ago,” Ben seethed furiously as he remembered the past harm which had befallen his youngest son.  Joseph had almost taken his life back then, due to the cruelty he had endured, and now that same kind of sadistic attack had been magnified by three straight months of abuse.

The doctor groaned aloud and then stood to take the kinks out of his back.  He forced himself to focus his attention to other injuries for his sake and for Ben’s.  Paul called out, “Now let’s see to that leg.”  The two men carefully maneuvered Joe on to his back once more.

Ben pulled the sheet and quilt up from the bottom of the bed so they could both get a good look at Joe’s left leg. 

“Nasty break — very nasty break,” Paul announced, as he prodded the broken bones just under Joe’s left knee.  “I don’t know who the hell set this, but they didn’t know what they were doing!”

“I know — I had a look at it when we were out on the trail.  I wanted so badly to try and ask Joseph — but—well— he’s been out of it,” Ben sadly replied.

“I guess we’re just going to have to settle for one thing at a time right now, Ben.  Unfortunately it’s been much too long since it was broken to try to just reset it.  If it had just been done in the last week I probably could try and fix it.   But the bones have already begun to knit together.  This boy needs surgery, but he’s got a lot of other issues to deal with first.  As soon as we can get some food into him I think it would be a good thing for him to get a good hot bath.  From what I was told he’s been in a very dark and dank cellar for a long time.  I want to make sure his lungs haven’t been affected.  There’s only a little rasping I heard when I listened, but we can’t presume anything looking at him right now.  A bath might also help some of his other injuries too.   So, let’s start with food then a bath, and we also need to keep tending those wounds I found on his back.  I’ll leave you some medicine for those, it’ll help with that infection.”

“And – well – the rest of it?” Ben chose his words carefully.

Paul shook his head woefully and replied, “Joe needs time, Ben, time and compassion.  That’s about the best advice I can offer to you right now.  This poor kid has been through more pain and suffering than anyone I’ve ever tended before.  Yes, he has a lot of scars, and some of them we can’t see.  Just take it easy on him for now.  I know how worried you are, and I know how much you’ve missed him.  But, I’m afraid your son has a lot of emotional issues to deal with that won’t go away any time soon.”

“You said you think his eyes will be okay?” Ben tried to turn to something positive now.  His heart was breaking over all of the awful sights he had witnessed over the past hour and he had to come up with anything that might be good news.

“Of course I’ll check them over better once we can talk to him rationally.  But, from the way they responded his vision should be fine.  As for the light sensitivity, I have some dark glasses in my bag that I’ll leave for the boy.  It’s a better solution than him having a blindfold.  He doesn’t need that kind of trauma on top of all the rest.”

“What about the lamp?  He insisted on me turning it all the way down just as you got here.”

“I think that was mostly fear, Ben,” Paul reached out and touched his friend’s arm to calm him.  “Maybe if you keep it at half wick for now — that ought to be enough for you to tend to him but not set him off again?”

Ben nodded and then pulled the covers back over his son’s leg and chest.  “What should I tell his brothers?” Ben alluded to all that he and Paul had witnessed during the examination.

“You just tell them to go easy on their little brother.  You don’t need to get into the particulars.”

“Joseph seems to respond best to Hoss right now.  I’ll go and get him to sit with Joe and then I’ll see if I can find you a brandy.”

Paul pulled out a pair of dark glasses from his medical bag and placed them on the night stand next to the lamp.  “I won’t turn that down, Ben.  I think you and I both could use one.”

“Be right back, Paul,” Ben returned.  He cast a sorrowful glance over at Joseph and then walked out of the bedroom.

“I’m so sorry, Joe,” Paul whispered, and sat down next to the young man on the bed.  He reached over and felt of his patient’s pulse and shook his head sadly.

 

Hoss had remained in the chair next to his brother’s bed all night.  He had dozed off and on, but always woke at the faintest sound coming from Joe.  Finally he heard the sound of the voice in the bed, though it was barely audible. 

“Joe?  Hey Little Brother, can you hear me?” Hoss called out, resting a hand on the boy’s arm.

Joe shot his arm over his eyes and groaned.  “My eyes — my eyes,” he muttered.

“Here you go, Buddy.  Put these on, you’ll be able to see some but it won’t be too much on you,” Hoss insisted as he handed his brother the dark glasses that the doctor had left for him.

With his hands shaky, Joe slowly pulled up what had been handed to him.  He warily placed the glasses over his eyes and settled the ends around both of his ears.  He blinked several times and then spotted the shaded vision of his brother’s face.

“Hoss — guess that’s you, huh?”

Hoss smiled and nodded toward his brother.  “Yep, and I don’t know how you feel to see my ugly face but I sure am glad to see you!”

Joe tried to cast a glance around the room.  “How long have I been here?”

“We all got back yesterday.  You’ve been out of it, Joe.  But, once we get some food into you, well, you’ll start to get better real soon.”

“How— how long have I been gone?” 

Hoss wondered if he was supposed to tell his brother the truth.  No-one had mentioned what to say once the boy had come around.

Joe noticed the way his brother hadn’t replied right away so he urged him out with it.  “Just tell me, will you?  I mean what difference does it make anyway?  I know I’ve been gone a long time.  Just spill it already.”

“Three months, Little Brother.  But, there wasn’t one day that went by that all of us weren’t out looking for you,” He tried to explain.

Joe sucked in a breath and fought with his emotions.  He didn’t really know how he felt about being gone and he didn’t really know how he felt about being home either.  Joe’s hand reached up to his head and felt the long matted locks on his head that fell all the way past his shoulders.  He also felt the thick stubble of beard on his face.

“I must look like Rip Van Winkle, huh?” Joe attempted to make light of his rough appearance.

Hoss could read right through his brother’s vain attempt to prove his bravery.  He could tell that behind the bravado there was an intense sadness.  “You don’t look all that bad, Joe.”

“Hoss, how about getting Hop Sing to get a bath set up for me?  I’m pretty sure I must smell as awful as I look and feel right now,” Joe asked quietly.

“I tell you what — if you’ll drink some water right now and do justice to the broth Hop Sing’s been cooking all night, I’m pretty sure we can get him to get you a nice hot bath ready.  I’ll even bring that tub right inside your room so you don’t have to move too much.”  Hoss handed his brother a glass of water and Joe drank most of the contents in response to what he had said.

“No, Brother, just have him set it up in the guest room next door, will you?  I need to move around a bit,” Joe argued.

Before Hoss could reply, both Ben and Adam walked into Joe’s bedroom.  They moved to stand up at the head of the bed.

“Good to see you awake, Joe,” Adam said, smiling down at the boy.

“Yes, it sure is, Joseph, are you hungry?” Ben asked and sat down on the bed right next to his son.

Joe ignored both his father and Adam and turned his attention back to Hoss.  “Will you get that bath ready for me now?  I want to get cleaned up.”

Ben and Adam exchanged concerned glances.  “Joseph, we need to explain some things to you.  You know when you disappeared —“

Joe cut his father off sharply, “I don’t want to hear it!  You two just go do whatever you want to do, I don’t care.  Hoss can help me with anything I need.  I’m not your concern anymore — if I ever was.  Now, will you both leave or do I need to get out of here?”

Hoss reached over and touched his father’s arm and then stared directly at him.  He shook his head and tried to give him a sign that he would handle Joe for the time being until things could get straightened out.

Ben stood from the bed, very visibly upset.  “Joseph —- you’ve always been my concern.  But, I don’t want to get you angry so I’ll leave you with your brother for now.”

“Kid, you know we all have been trying for months to find you,” Adam tried his best to get through to his brother.

“Leave!” Joe shouted, staring up at Adam angrily.

Hoss watched as the rest of his family retreated out of the bedroom crestfallen.

“I’ll go get you that broth, Joe, and I’ll tell Hop Sing to get that bath water heated up too.  Just rest easy, okay?”

Joe nodded and closed his eyes as his brother left the room.  He finally had time to ponder on the fact that he had only spent three months in captivity.  Joe was sure it had been many years, so Hoss’ information had come as a big shock to him.

 

“Pa, the kid’s just a bit out of his head right now, and none of us can blame him,” Hoss tried to get through to his father.

“I need to explain everything to him, Son.   He can’t believe that both Adam and I didn’t try to find him!  I just don’t understand it,” Ben replied, his heart sinking in his chest.  He needed to be around the boy who he had missed for so many months.

“We don’t know what whoever held Joe told him, Pa.  It could’ve been anything.  I’ll tell you what — how about once I get him back in his room after he has his bath I’ll just leave his door open some and you can listen in while I try and talk to him about it?  That way you’ll hear it right from his own mouth.”

Ben groaned, he wished there was a better solution, but he couldn’t come up with anything.  “Okay, Hoss.  You let me know when you get ready to get him back into bed.  Oh, watch that leg of his — it’s bad — real bad!”

“I’ll keep my eye on his every move,” Hoss tried to reassure his pa.

Ben thought a few minutes and then replied, “And, Son, give him a little privacy, will you?  I mean once he gets into the tub, let him have time to himself.”

“Huh?” Hoss didn’t understand what his father was getting at.

Ben worried that Hoss might discover what had happened to Joe simply by noticing some of the wounds there on the boy’s back.  He wanted to protect Joe as well as the tender-hearted middle son.  As far as Ben was concerned no-one else in the family needed to know all of the details of what his youngest had endured.  He also knew that it wouldn’t go down well with Joseph if the boy thought that anyone was asking too many questions.

“Just give him some privacy.  Hoss, the kid’s been through the mill.  Just try to understand, okay?”

Hoss nodded as he turned into the kitchen to get his brother’s broth.  “Sure thing, Pa.”

 

Joe had finished his broth and he had been informed that Hop Sing had a bath waiting for him in the next room.  Hoss handed his brother his robe, trying not to stare at the noticeable marks that were still visible around Joe’s neck.  He tried his best not to think on those, the implications were far too frightening. Hoss watched Joe’s face flinch with pain as he slowly swung his legs over to the side of the bed.

“Let me help you, Joe,” Hoss urged, as he chewed at his bottom lip, so afraid that his brother would fall down if he attempted to stand up.

“I’ve got this,” Joe replied and held onto the side of the bed and pulled himself up.

“But your leg —

“I can walk!” Joe returned angrily.  He stared over at his brother and realized he had hurt him with his attitude.  “Sorry, Hoss, I didn’t mean to go off on you.”

“You sure you can walk, Little Brother?”

Joe tried to laugh, but the sound came off as lame as his leg.  “Yeah, not so’s you’d know it – but I can walk.  Just stand off to my left side, just in case I wobble a bit.”

Hoss tried his best not to hover, but it was getting harder by the minute.  Joe looked like a hobbled horse as he barely made it into the next room limping badly. Both brothers were relieved when Joe lighted down onto the bench which had been placed within a few feet from the bathtub.

“Hoss, will you ask Hop Sing to bring his scissors up?  I’ll go ahead and start soaking while you do that.”

“Can I help you get into the tub, just so you don’t fall?”

Joe shook his head adamantly, “ Hoss, I have been taking a bath by myself for a lot of years, and lame or not I think I can manage it.  But, looks like Hop Sing gifted me some of his good smelling stuff so, I’ll get some bubbles worked up and you can come back in a bit with Hop Sing, okay?”

“Well, I’m gonna stand right outside this room until you yell that you got into that tub without falling.  Then I’ll go get Hop Sing and his scissors,” Hoss persisted.

“Fine,” Joe frowned.  “Go on, leave me be and I’ll yell out to you in a minute.”

Hoss nodded and left his brother alone for the time being.  Joe pulled off his robe and eased over to the tub.  He carefully dragged his bad leg over to the edge and got it under the water before pulling his right leg inside.  “I’m in.  Now go get lost awhile!” Joe shouted and then eased underneath the hot water.

Joe closed his eyes and tried not to remember the last time he had enjoyed a bath, it had been far too long ago.  He let his body stretch out until the water rose to his top lip.  Joe’s mind went back to the feeling of the cold water there in the cabin.  Buckets of cold water, and all of them had been dumped on him by his two captors.  He squeezed both of his eyes shut tightly and prayed that he could drown all of the frightening memories away under the hot water.  It wasn’t going to happen.  Joe had done his best to hide the fact that his entire body hurt as he had walked from his bedroom to the guest room next door.  He hadn’t wanted Hoss to know about the many wounds which couldn’t be detected outwardly, but were buried down deep inside of him.  Some of those were emotional injuries, but there were others that were physical ones, and they would just have to remain hidden from his family.  Joe would just have to keep those secret for his own well-being.

Both Hoss and Hop Sing had been allowed to come inside the guest room after Joe had been soaking a half of an hour.

“You hold still and Hop Sing work oil through hair, that way get rid of most of your knots,” the cook urged the boy in the tub to ease back and let him help loosen the large amount of matted hair that had formed after months of not brushing Joe’s curls.

“No oil.  Just cut them off,” Joe replied harshly.

Hop Sing stared over at Hoss and he had a very puzzled look on his face.  Little Joe was very particular about his hair and liked to wear it long, almost touching the collar of his shirt.  Now, the young man was telling the cook to just cut as much off as he wanted to.

“Knots vely bad, to cut out Hop Sing would have to cut vely short!  Let use oil, and Hop Sing not have to cut so much.”

“I don’t care how short you’ve got to cut it, Hop Sing!  Just do it.  You think that I care what I look like now?  I mean have you even taken a good gander at me?  I’m skin and bones and I look like Hell warmed over.  So what do I care if you cut all of my hair off?  Just do it already!”

Hop Sing looked pleadingly over to Hoss and hoped he would advise him with what he should do.

Finally Hoss gave in to his brother’s request and said to the cook, “Hop Sing take off all that you need to in order to get all of them knots out.  Joe’s hair grows pretty fast anyhow.  Why it won’t be another month before Pa will be yelling at him to get a haircut because it’s all grown out.”

Hop Sing placed a towel down onto the floor and with a heavy heart began to cut away most of Joe Cartwright’s curly hair.  By the time he was finished Joe’s hair was short and cropped close to his scalp.  Afterwards, Hop Sing assisted the young man with shaving his face and then Joe insisted he was ready to have some privacy.  He soaked in the tub for a while longer before calling out for his brother.

Ben watched from the end of the hallway as Hoss walked Joseph back to his bedroom a little while later.  He couldn’t help noticing that his youngest son’s hair had been cut very short, perhaps shorter than he’d seen it since Joe was a small child.  The sight pained the anxious father, for he knew it had meant that Joseph no longer cared about his appearance, and that was a very bad sign.

“You feel better, Little Brother?” Hoss asked, as Joe eased back into his bed.

“Cleaner at least,” Joe nodded.

Hoss walked over to his brother’s nightstand and drew up the pitcher.  “I’ll be right back, I’m going to get you some more water,” he announced and left the room.  Out in the hall he motioned to his father to follow him down the stairs.

“When I bring up this pitcher,” Hoss paused as he poured some cool water from the pump in the kitchen into the container, “follow behind me, but be sure to stand off to the side where Joe can’t see you.  I’m going to try to get some answers from him.”

Ben nodded that he understood his son’s plan and followed him back up into the hallway.

“Here you go, it’s nice and cold too,” Hoss placed the pitcher back onto the nightstand and poured his brother a glass.

“Thanks,” Joe nodded and took a few sips.  

Settling down in the chair next to the bed, Hoss tried to choose his words carefully, not wanting to set his brother off.  “Joe, remember when you and me were just kids and we’d tell each other our troubles even when we couldn’t tell them to Pa or Adam?”

Joe looked over suspiciously at his brother.  “Where are you going with this?”

Hoss shrugged his shoulders and replied, “I was just thinking how close the two of us have always been, you know?”

“You’re trying to get me to talk about Pa and Adam,” Joe frowned.

“I know you’ve been through things that none of us can even understand because it’s not happened to us.  But, Joe, you just have to know how much Pa cares about you — and Adam does too.”

“Sure,” Joe frowned.  “Pa cares so much about me!  I guess he didn’t tell you the reason I just spent three months in Hell, right?”

“Huh?”

“He left me, Hoss.  He left me and rode away with Adam there at his side.  I wouldn’t have gone through any of this if he hadn’t chosen Adam over me!”  Joe yelled, his temper flaring now that the image was back in his mind.

“Joe — did you see them?”

“Of course I saw them, Hoss!  What — do you think I’m making this up?  I suppose I made up three months of non-stop torture too!”

“Preston made Pa leave, Joe.  Adam got shot by that gunslinger J. T. Bridger and Preston told Pa that he’d better leave or they’d kill you right in front of him.  Pa got Adam into Doc’s then he sent Roy out there to fetch you back!”

“Stop it!” Joe screamed, and forced his eyes closed even under the dark glasses.  “I don’t want to hear any more of it!  Pa made his choice and I paid the price, now I don’t want to talk about it.  Just go away.”

Hoss stood from the chair and tried to calm his brother. He attempted to rest a hand onto Joe’s shoulder but he shoved it away.

“I said go away, Hoss!”

“Joe, Pa didn’t have a choice.  What was he supposed to do?  Let that gunman kill you?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet, Hoss?  I did get killed!  I got killed every day for three months!”

“Joe – Joe you ain’t dead.  You’ve been hurt but you ain’t dead,” Hoss whispered.

“There’s plenty of ways to kill a man, and I’ve had a taste of all of them.  Now will you go away?  I want to be alone!” 

Hoss shook his head sadly and replied gently, “Little Brother, you’ve been alone for three months.  You don’t really want to be alone anymore, now do you?”

Joe laughed bitterly and retorted, “Oh, I wasn’t alone!  No, I wasn’t alone at all.  I had two men who did their best to keep me company and show me a good time.  Now leave and I mean it, Hoss!”

Turning for the door, Hoss cast a downhearted look over at his brother.  “I’m sorry, Joe, I really am.  I wasn’t trying to hurt you.   I just wanted you to understand how much we tried to find you because we all love you.”

Joe rolled onto his side and away from the departing figure of Hoss.  He closed his eyes and prayed that he could just go back to sleep.

Ben reached his hand over to his middle son as he turned out into the hallway.  “I’m sorry, Son.  I know you tried your best.  Maybe it’s just too soon.  Joseph has been through so much, that he’s just not ready to deal with any of this yet.”

“What did those men put him through, Pa?  Those marks around his neck, it looks like they tried to strangle the kid!  What all was done to my brother?” Hoss pleaded for an answer as to why his brother was in so much obvious pain and distress.

Ben shook his head and drew in a deep breath.  He knew some of what Joe had been put through, but not all of it.  From what he and Doc Martin had seen the previous night, that in itself was more than enough to have sent his son over the deep end of despair.  Pa couldn’t explain much of what he had witnessed to Hoss it would be far too much for him to deal with at the time.

“I’m not sure, Hoss.  I’ve seen exactly what you have, and none of it is anything short of torture.  He’s endured three straight months of abuse, that’s the one thing that I do know.  Everything else we’ll have to wait for Joseph to tell us, if he can ever handle that.”

“Did you hear that Joe said that there were two of them, Pa?  So, two others are involved besides Preston and J.T.  I want to get my hands on all of them and choke the life out of them with my bare hands!  They tried to choke my brother so they’ve got that coming back to them!”

“We all want to go after all of those who were involved in this, Son.  There will be a time for that, I promise you!   We will get justice for Joe before all of this is over.  But, right now, the most important thing we can do is to try to get Joseph better.  I’m glad you got him to talk, even though he didn’t say too much.   At least now we know that Joe must’ve seen me riding away.   He said that he saw me riding off with Adam at my side.  I guess he became conscious right after Preston made me turn and ride off.  Hopefully, as he starts to come to terms with all of what he’s gone through, we’ll get more details that will help find out who stole him away from us.  Now, getting back to the present,   I hope that Joseph will eat, even if it’s just for Hop Sing right now.  The boy has some infection going on and he’s going to need some strength in order to fight it off.   Let’s focus on that for right now.  Hopefully Joseph will sleep for a while.  I’ll go check on him in a bit.  Let’s go and talk to Hop Sing,” Ben directed, as he walked down the stairs with his middle boy at his side.

Hop Sing made a simple meal of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon.  He knew Little Joe always liked breakfast, even if it wasn’t served in the morning.  Carrying a tray in his hands he walked into the boy’s bedroom a few hours after Joe had taken a good long nap.

“You eat for Hop Sing,” the cook called out and placed the tray down in front of Joe.

Looking down at all the food Joe thought on all of the rancid beans he had eaten over the past several months.  He thought back then that he’d never taste another warm or decent meal again.

“I don’t know if I can eat all of this, Hop Sing,” Joe sighed, still staring down at the large quantity of food which the cook had prepared for him.

Hop Sing patted the boy’s shoulder and smiled.  “You eat what you can.  It make a good start.  Must get more weight on you, Little Joe.  Now, please try for Hop Sing.”

Joe nodded, trying his best to go along with the caregiver’s plan.  “I’ll see what I can do.  I’d like to take my time with it, so how about you just come back for the tray in a little while?” Joe asked, as he didn’t want to have an audience while he tried to choke down the food.

“Be back in little while,” Hop Sing answered, content that the boy would make an effort to eat.

Once the door was closed Joe stared down at the eggs.  The only food he had eaten in three months had either been that which had been left in the cellar on a dirty plate or what had been stuffed down his throat by his captors.   Joe lifted the eggs up using his fingers, even though he had seen the fork lying next to his plate.  He was glad that he didn’t have to sit with his family to eat now.  There was no way he could explain why it felt totally normal to eat his food using only his hands now.  Also, there was no way he could ever explain why he felt the desire to hurriedly shovel the eggs into his mouth.  For months Joe hadn’t known if any meal he had been given would be his last, or if it would be taken away from him just to taunt him.  Now, it was second nature to him to polish off his plate as fast as he could, and with his hands as the only utensils needed.

Ben stealthily peered into his son’s room, unsure if Joe was going to eat what the cook had brought up to him.  He was shocked to see the boy eating like an animal.  The sight filled the weary father with uncontrollable anger towards the men who had abused his son for so long. ***what have they done to you, Joseph ***Ben thought to himself.  He closed the door quietly and walked away.

 

Adam reached over to the coffee pot that Hop Sing had earlier set down on the coffee table.  He poured a cup for himself and then for Ben and Hoss, handing the cups over to each man.

“Thanks,” Hoss nodded over to his brother and then he leaned back on the settee.

Ben took a sip of the strong brew and also thanked his eldest.  “It’s been a long day,” he sighed.

Hop Sing appeared and started down the staircase holding Joe’s dinner tray in his hands.

“How’d he do?” Hoss asked the cook.

“Little Joe eat vely good.  Had little accident with food, so Hop Sing helped him clean up a little bit,” the Oriental explained as he stood next to the other three men in the room.

“What kind of an accident?” Adam asked.

“Spill some food, not much, just enough to get all over hands.  But, no bother, all clean now,” Hop Sing explained, not wanting any of them to worry.

Ben closed his eyes and whispered to himself *** Joseph, I guess you had to come up with something to explain why your hands had so much food on them ***

“Pa?  Did you say something?” Hoss questioned, seeing the strange look on his father’s face.  He could have sworn he had heard Pa say something about Joe.

“No – no – just thinking out loud,” Ben caught himself.  He didn’t want any of the rest of the family to know about what Joe had done with his food.

“Are you thinking about anything in particular?  Is there anything we can do?” Adam offered.

Ben shook his head and stood abruptly from his chair.  “No, Adam, I’ve got to go tend to your brother’s back.  He needs to have some medicine too.  I should’ve done this earlier, but, well, I was waiting for things to quiet down a bit.”

“What exactly is wrong with his back, Pa?  You didn’t say much last night,” Hoss asked.

Ben’s eyes went back and forth, casting a solemn glance at both of his sons.  He knew he had to hide the truth from them; at least some of it.  If they began to ask too many questions, they might learn some of the details about what had been done to their little brother up there at the cabin.  Joe didn’t need to deal with either of their scrutiny.   The boy was teetering on the edge emotionally, and he didn’t need any more stress added to what was going on in his troubled mind.

“He has some cuts, they’re infected.  I better get to doctoring now, before Joe falls to sleep again.  Excuse me,” Ben sang out and headed to the kitchen to get everything he needed to tend to his youngest.

Joe turned in the bed when he heard the door opening.  He was surprised to see his father walking in carrying a tray in his hands.

“Go away,” Joe muttered and rolled onto his right side.

“No, Joseph, I won’t go away.  Not this time,” Ben called out adamantly, as he moved across the room and set the tray down onto the boy’s night stand.

“I told you I don’t want to talk to you.”

“You don’t have to talk to me, Son.  Though, I wish you would, so we could get everything straightened out.”

“I’m going to sleep,” Joe returned angrily and drew his blanket up over his shoulders.

Ben shook his head and then drew the wick up higher in the lamp next to the bed.

“Turn it down!” Joe shouted, now totally irate.

“I have to doctor you, and then I’ll even put it out if you want.  But, you have infection on your back and I’m going to tend to it right now,” Ben insisted, and he wasn’t going to cave to his son’s demands this time.  “Now, you don’t have to take that nightshirt off, you can just ease it back down some.  I’m just going to clean those cuts that you have and then spread some of the medicine that Doc left onto them.”

Joe closed his eyes and thought on what his pa had said.  *** Cuts — I don’t have any cuts on my back!  Pa was with Doctor Martin last night.  I know they looked me over.  He knows damn well I don’t have cuts!  He knows what they are.  He knows they’re bites!  Why is he trying to act like he doesn’t know? ***

“Joseph — come on just pull down the back of your nightshirt so we can get this over with, okay?”

“I don’t need doctoring,” Joe argued.

“Do you want me to bring Hoss in here?”

Joe cringed at what his father had said.  No, he didn’t want Hoss to see his back.  Not Hoss, not Adam, not Hop Sing either, nobody needed to know why there were bite marks on his back.  He slowly lifted the front of his nightshirt and then took the slack and reached around and tugged the remainder down so his father could get to the area which contained those wounds.

Ben drew in a deep breath and opened the antiseptic.  “I’ve got to clean these first, Joe,” he spoke out gently this time.   Pa hated that he had to threaten to bring Joe’s brother into the situation just in order to gain Joseph’s compliance.  “This is going to sting a bit, Son,” he warned as he began to blot each of the bite marks with the cotton ball that was soaked in the alcohol. 

Joe shook his head wondering just how in the heck his father thought anything could hurt him now.  He hadn’t even felt the burning caused by the application of the strong antiseptic.  Joe was well accustomed to pain of any kind now.

“Okay, now I’ll just put some of this ointment on all of these and I’ll be about done,” Ben continued to explain, though he could tell that his son didn’t want to hear anything that his Pa had said about the care he was trying to provide for him.

When he felt his father’s hand finally letting go of his back, Joe resettled his nightshirt down into place.  He next felt Pa’s hand reaching for his neck and Ben dabbed more of the same ointment onto the marks that were still red and raw there.

“Let me see those wrists, Son.  Doc told me to make sure to treat those wounds as well.”

Joe frowned and hesitated just wanting to be left alone.  But, he finally gave in to his father’s request, knowing Pa was not going to back down.  One by one he reached out each of his hands, and Ben spread ointment onto each of Joe’s raw rope- burned wrists.

“Now, here’s some medicine for you to take, Joe.  Turn this way so I can give you a spoonful,” Pa insisted.

“No, there’s too much light!  If I have to take it, well, you’ve got to turn that lamp back down!” Joe demanded.   His anger was back in the forefront of his mind.

Sighing to himself, Ben turned down the wick of the lamp and reached over to spoon the medicine into his son’s mouth.  “Here you go,”

Joe reluctantly swallowed all of the liquid that had been on the tablespoon.

“Joseph — will you please —

Joe cut his father off in midsentence again and said coldly, “I did what you told me.  Now leave me alone!”

Ben didn’t want to get into a shouting match with his youngest.  He hoped that the boy might feel the love which had gone along with the care he had just given him.  But, his son couldn’t feel anything more than disdain in regards to his father now.

“I will leave you alone — at least for now.  Goodnight, Joseph,” Ben replied, his voice showing his sadness.  Turning towards the door, tray in hand, Pa cast a parting glance at the boy in the bed.  His heart went out to his son, and he prayed that he would somehow be able to get through to Joseph in time. 

 

The following day had gone on much like Joe’s first day home had gone.  He had insisted on yet another very long bath but had refused any help from his family in getting over to the tub.  With coaxing from a very patient Hop Sing, Joe had gotten down a sandwich at lunch, making it far easier to disguise his peculiar method of eating.  That had been prepared at Ben’s insistence, though he never told the cook why.

“Pa, both Doc Martin and the sheriff are coming in,” Adam called over to his father as he walked inside the house.

Ben stood from his desk and made it to the door in time to greet the two men.

“Doc, I was expecting you, but Roy?  What brings you out here?” Ben asked.

“I ran into Roy on the way here, Ben,” Paul explained as he draped his coat over the top of the settee.

“I figured maybe I could get some information from Joe now that he’s been home a day,” Roy announced, following the doctor into the living room.

Ben drew in a deep breath, his worry very evident on his face.  “Joe’s had a hard time of it, Roy.” He began.

“I know, Ben.  Doc here told me he’s bad off.  But, if I’m going to get me any leads on those jaspers who held him all of those months I need at least a little help.”

“Paul?  What do you think?” Ben asked warily.

The doctor shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and replied, “I guess he can try, Ben.  I need to check him over anyway so let’s go and see how the boy will do.”

The three men walked up to Joe’s bedroom.  Ben knocked softly and then drew the door open.  Joe was sitting up in his bed, his dark glasses still over his eyes.

“Good to see you, Little Joe!” Roy Coffee called over to the boy in the bed.

“Roy,” Joe nodded over to the man, but he wore a frown showing his displeasure with having any guests, including his pa.

“I ran into Roy on the way over here, Joe, and figured he could stop in and say hi before I check on your injuries,” Paul announced, trying to diffuse the young man who he knew all too well.

The sheriff drew close to the bed and stared down at Joe.  He had felt awful that he hadn’t found the kid himself and that it had been a random stranger who had saved Joe’s life.

“Just a few questions, Joe,” Roy began and shot a look over towards Ben and noticed the grimace he wore.  “Do you remember who took you out to that cabin in Littleton?”

Joe shook his head “no” and focused his eyes down onto his bedspread.

“How many men held you there at that cabin, Joe?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and fought to get the words out.  “I – I guess there were two,” Joe stuttered. 

“You hear their names?”

Joe sank down in the bed and pulled his covers up around his neck.  He had felt a sudden chill come over his whole body at the mention of his captors.  “No.”

Roy stared over at the doctor and shook his head.  They could all tell that the boy was petrified.

“What about a description, Joe?  Did you see their faces?” Roy continued, though he saw the boy’s father shooting him a warning look.

Joe rolled onto his side and curled up in a fetal position, drawing both of his knees up towards his chest.  He could hear the voices in his head, the voices of his captors.  Joe squeezed his eyes tightly and fought the remembrance but to no avail.  ***You better not look at us!  You know what’s going to happen to you if you do, right?  Do you want that?  Do you? *** The memories played in Joe’s troubled mind.  *** I won’t look at either of you!  I swear to God I won’t look at you! *** Joe heard what he had said to the two despicable men.

“Joseph?” Ben called out softly, as he reached down and put his hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“I didn’t see anyone!  I don’t know what they looked like!” He shouted, never turning over to look at any of the men in the room.

“How’d you break your leg, Joe?” Roy asked, moving off the description of the two men for the moment.

“I don’t know,” Joe called back to him.

Paul moved in closer and shook his head sadly.  He could tell that Joe was terrified.  “Joe, who set your leg?” he asked gently.

“I – I don’t remember,” Joe whispered, and fought back his tears.

Roy walked closer to the bed and called down to the boy, “I guess it’s too early to get into all of this with you, Little Joe.  I’m sorry to have troubled you so soon after you got home.  I’ll try again in a few days.”  Roy turned and patted the weary father’s arm and said, “I’ll see myself out, and I’ll be in touch.”

“Thank you, Roy,” Ben nodded over to the sheriff, relieved that he had understood just how fragile Joe’s mind was at the present.

Once the sheriff had left the room, Paul moved to the night stand and opened his medical bag.  He removed his stethoscope and called over to his patient.  “Let me have a listen to your chest, Joe.  This won’t take long.”

“I don’t need any doctoring,” Joe replied, keeping his face turned away from both the doctor and his pa.

“Now I’ll be the judge of that!” Paul insisted and pulled the covers down.  “I don’t want to have to sedate you.  So just give me a little cooperation, Young Man.   I need to check that leg of yours and those wounds on your back too.”

Ben moved back away from the bed and watched as Doctor Martin went about his examination, undeterred by Joe’s insistence that he didn’t need any help.

Joe hadn’t been very cooperative, but he had answered the few questions that Paul had asked, at least as far as whatever was hurting on his body.  It had taken the better part of an hour to go over all of Joe’s wounds and try and tend what he could, but the doctor at last finished his ministrations. 

“Joe, I believe we can get that leg of yours fixed up, but it will require a surgeon,” Paul stated as he put the medicine he had used back inside his bag.

“I’ll eat a bullet before I let anyone touch this leg!” Joe replied angrily.  “Nobody’s gonna saw into it or re-break it.  Now, that you’re done checking me over I just want some sleep.”

Paul sighed deeply and signaled for Ben to follow him out of the bedroom.  “I’ll be back in a few days, Joe.  You keep eating to get your strength up,” Doc said, and both he and Pa left Joe’s room.

 

Once Doctor Martin had left to go back to his office, Adam and Hoss sat back down in the living room to speak with their father.

“We both talked to Roy, Pa,” Adam began.  “He told us that the kid couldn’t really tell him much.  Hoss told him that Joe remembers being at the Hilliard place, but Roy said that he can’t bring Preston in until Joe would be able to give a full statement on what he remembers happening.”

Ben nodded and leaned back into the red leather chair next to the fireplace.  “I know, Adam.  They wouldn’t be able to press any charges on either Preston or Bridger if your brother isn’t able to stand up to thorough questioning.  That’s not going to happen any time soon, I’m afraid.”

“Roy also said that J.T. left for parts unknown about a week ago.  You reckon he knew that those men were going to leave Joe there at that cabin?” Hoss asked.

“I’ve no idea, Son.  As I’ve already told you both, there will be a time for justice.  I promise you that!  But, justice won’t mean a thing if we lose Joseph.  He’s so injured and in so many ways.  The boy is going to need a lot of help in order to get well and to also come to terms with all he’s going through,” Ben answered solemnly.

“I’ll keep my eyes out for J.T., Pa!” Adam swore loudly.  “If I have to hunt him down I’ll find him and he will pay for hurting Joe.”

“We will ALL go after every single man responsible for Joseph’s abduction and torture, Adam.  But, first we need to help your little brother,” Ben reiterated.

“How did he do with Doc, Pa?” Hoss asked.

Ben shook his head, and gave a very tired smile before replying, “Paul is one of the few people in this world who aren’t affected by your brother’s behavior.  He doctored what he could, even though Joseph wasn’t very happy about it.”

“I’ll see if I can get him to let me come back in to talk with him, Pa.  Maybe if I don’t bring up anything that happened to him he’ll let me come back into his room?”

Ben shrugged his shoulders and stood when he heard Hop Sing call out that dinner was ready.  “I guess it won’t hurt to try, Hoss.  Okay, Boys, let’s eat to keep our strength up.”

The three Cartwrights walked into the dining room, each one trying to think of what they could do to help the injured young man upstairs.

 

The following day both Ben and Adam had made their own attempts at trying to speak with Joe.  And, just as before, he had told both men that he didn’t want to talk to them and had ordered them to leave him alone.  Though Adam was having difficulty in handling the rift that existed between him and his little brother, Pa was finding it much harder to endure.  The relationship which existed between Ben and his youngest son had always been a very close one.  Everyone knew that the young man drew his strength and even his confidence from his father.  There had only been a few instances in Joe’s life where he had avoided contact with his pa, and one of them had happened four years prior.  That had been during one of the worst experiences in the boy’s life, and he had pushed his entire family away due to the trauma he had gone through back then.  Now, it was as though that whole event was merely a bump in the road of his life, compared to the torture he had endured for three straight months.

Hoss had tried his best to make amends with his little brother and had brought his breakfast tray up that morning.  He still found Joe to be tightlipped and the boy had only said a brief thank you before dismissing his brother from his room.  So, when Joe soaked in his daily bath, Hoss hoped he could help him in some way.  Seeing Hop Sing heading upstairs, towels over his arms, Hoss had stopped the man.

“Are those towels for Little Joe?” Hoss asked, stopping the cook halfway up the stairs.

“Yes, need more before getting out of tub,” Hop Sing nodded.

“Let me take them up, Hop Sing,” Hoss insisted, and he pulled the towels from the cook’s arms.

“Little Joe not ready to get out yet, Mister Hoss.  He tell me to wait for another thirty minutes.”

“I’ll just drop them off, I won’t make him get out, don’t worry!” Hoss called, as he turned to go up to the guest room where his brother was bathing.

Hoss quietly opened the door, noticing his brother was leaned forward in the tub, facing opposite from the entrance to the room.  Hoss stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell on his brother’s back.  He couldn’t help seeing the deep festered bite marks which were there just a few inches down from each of his brother’s shoulders.  Hoss fought back his gasp, holding it inside.  He eased out of the room without giving his brother the fresh towels and not letting the boy know that he had come into the room.

“Mister Hoss?” Hop Sing called out, as he moved into the hallway.  “You not give Little Joe towels!”

“Here,” Hoss began, trying to hide the pain he felt inside from the caregiver, “you take them in.  I got something I’ve got to talk to Pa about.”

Hop Sing recovered the towels as Hoss beat a hasty exit and hurried down the stairs.

“Pa!” Hoss shouted for his father and saw him coming out of the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, seeing an intense anger controlling the big man’s face.  “Did something happen?”

“You should have told me, Pa!” Hoss replied, his voice filled with rage.

“Told you what?  What is it, Hoss?”

“Little Joe — his back!  I just saw it.  You should have told me, Pa.  You knew about them bites, and you didn’t say nothing about it!” Hoss sang out still full of outrage in his voice.

Ben sighed and grabbed his son’s arm and turned him towards his study.  “Hold your voice down, Young Man!  Now come over here and we will talk and not shout.”

Hoss reluctantly followed his father over to his desk, and Ben motioned for him to take a seat.

“Now, listen to me, Son,” Ben began, with a forced calm to his voice.  “I kept this from you – and from Adam as well.  And, looking at your face right now I can see that I was correct in doing that.  I hope you didn’t let Joseph see you like this?”

Hoss shook his head and responded, “I caught sight of his back, but Joe didn’t hear me come into the room.  He’s still up there taking a bath.”

“Thank goodness!  The very last thing that boy needs right now is to see the indignation you’re wearing all over your face.  Yes, you’re angry, and I know why.  I understand because I’m just as angry or more so!  But, I’ve not confronted Joseph about any of this and you can’t either!  That boy is teetering on the edge right now, and anything we say can send him over.  When and if Joe can talk about what he’s gone through then we will get our answers, and we will try to help him with all of the horrors that have been inflicted on him.  But, he doesn’t need to see your rage and he damned well doesn’t need to see your pity either!”

Hoss dropped his head down towards his chest and fought back his tears.  “But what they’ve done to him, Pa — I just can’t get it out of my head.  It hurts so much!”

Ben stood from his chair and approached his middle boy.  He reached his hand down and urged Hoss to stand up.  Hoss relented and finally stood next to his father.

“Oh, Pa!”  Hoss cried, and dropped his head down onto his father’s shoulder.

Ben wrapped his arm around his son’s shoulder and gave him the time he needed to try and let go of his anger and sadness.  After several minutes Hoss stood upright and pushed away his tears.

“Son, I want you to go out.  Just go riding or go into town — just anything that will help you right now.  You can’t let your brother catch sight of what I’m seeing on your face right now.  Do you understand?”

Hoss nodded and drew in a deep breath before replying.  “I – I will, Pa.  I’ll get myself together and then I’ll try my best to help my little brother.”

“Good, Hoss,” Ben responded and patted his son on his back.  “Now go on, get some air.”

“Be back after a while, Pa,” Hoss announced, and headed to the credenza to get his hat and holster.  He hurriedly headed out of the door needing to get away from all that he had witnessed.

Much later that same evening Hoss reappeared coming inside of the ranch house.  Ben called over from the dining room where he sat eating dinner with Adam.

“Hoss?  You’re almost too late for supper!  Come over and get something before Hop Sing clears the table.”

“No thanks, Pa, I ate something in town,” Hoss replied, as he tried to conceal a package he had in his hands.

Ben noticed the plain brown bag and stood from the table and approached his middle boy suspiciously.  “What do you have there?”

Hoss grinned and replied, “It’s just a little something for Joe.  I’m getting ready to go up to see him.   I’ve just got to get one more thing.”  Hoss moved over to the fireplace and his father saw him pick up the checker board and basket of checkers.  He placed the items in his bag and continued up the stairs.

Ben shook his head, and fought off a smile.  He somehow knew what the big man was up to.

“Pa? What’s going on?” Adam called across the room.

“I’m not exactly sure, but whatever it is I hope it works!” Ben replied and returned to the dinner table.

Hoss peered inside his little brother’s room and saw that the boy was awake and just sitting there in his bed.

“Can I come in for a few minutes, Little Brother?”

Joe frowned.   He still didn’t want to see anyone.  “I’m tired, Hoss.”

Hoss continued inside the room.  “I brung you something, Joe!” He said, and moved over to stand at the head of the bed, still carrying the brown paper sack.

Joe shook his head, still annoyed by his brother’s appearance in his room.  He just didn’t want to talk or deal with anyone.

Hoss opened the sack and set the checker board onto Joe’s night stand.   “I thought we could play a few games, Joe.  It’s been such a long time since we’ve done that.”

“Don’t feel like it, Hoss.  I’m tired and I don’t feel good either.”

“Well, I’ll make it worth your while if you’ll try to beat me.”

Joe stared over at his brother and noticed him pulling out a whiskey bottle from the sack he had brought in along with the checkers.

“Rot gut,” Joe nodded over to his brother.  “What’s that for?”

“If you beat me you get a shot of this, and if you lose I get the shot.  Now come on, let’s see who gets the first drink.”

Joe closed his eyes and thought on the fact that he hadn’t had any kind of liquor in ages.  He doubted it would even do anything for him now because he was in far too much pain both physically and emotionally.

Hoss didn’t waste any time, as he didn’t want to give his brother the chance to say no.  He quickly set up the board and called over to Joe, “You get the red ones.  Let’s see if you can still take me.”

Joe shook his head, giving up on the idea of getting rid of his brother.  “One game, Hoss, and that’s it,” He said, and reached over to a red checker and made the first move.

The game went on for close to thirty minutes and Joe won, which was the way it usually happened in the good old days.

“You let me win, Hoss.  You could’ve taken me easily,” Joe called over to his brother frowning.

Hoss just laughed and drew up the whiskey bottle and the shot glass he had brought with him.  “Now I don’t cheat, and if I did I would cheat to win and not lose!” He said indignantly.   Hoss poured his brother a shot and handed it over to him.

Joe reluctantly took the glass of rot gut into his hand and tossed the shot down in one swallow.

“Take it easy there, Little Brother, this stuff is about the strongest they’ve got at the Bucket of Blood!”

“Okay, Hoss, I think I’ve had enough.  Rot gut doesn’t taste as good as it used to and I doubt it’s going to make me feel any better.”

Hoss set the next game up and wouldn’t let his brother deter him.  “Go ahead, one more time, Joe!”

Joe shook his head and played one more round of checkers, and this time he lost to his brother.  He watched as the big man shot down the whiskey.

“Want one more chance, Joe?” Hoss offered.

“Okay, but I mean it, this is it,” Joe replied seriously.

Once again the board was set up and the two brothers played for another thirty minutes.  Joe won that round and he shot down the whiskey his brother poured for him.  He had to admit that he was starting to get a bit light headed.  Joe figured it was due to the fact that he was in a weakened condition and had lost so much weight.  He set the shot glass down onto the night stand and leaned back in his bed.

“Okay, Joe, I guess we can call it quits for now.  But, tomorrow night maybe I can get a rematch, huh?”

“We’ll see.  Hey leave that whiskey in my room.  Just put it up on my bureau.  I won’t get into it unless I need it for medicinal reasons,” Joe whispered, as he was getting very tired.

“Sure, Joe, you rest a while.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Hoss asked as he gathered the checkerboard and checkers and put them back in his paper bag.  He then set the rot gut on top of his brother’s bureau before turning for the door.  “Good night, Little Brother,” He called over to him.

“Night, Hoss,” Joe nodded over to him and then closed his eyes.

Hoss stood in the doorway just staring at his baby brother.  He could see that Joe was starting to nod off, and it made him feel better.  Even though he wasn’t acting like his old self, at least Joe had played the three games.  Hoss hoped that the hour and a half spent playing checkers had at least taken Joe’s mind off all of his troubles for a little while.  If that had been the case, Hoss felt he had done something for the kid who had so much pain to deal with.  Staring over at his brother one last time, Hoss thought on the sight of the boy’s back.  He was glad that he hadn’t let his angst over the image of the bites to show on his face when he had played checkers with Joe.  It had been the toughest acting job of his life.  ***Good night, Joe.  You’re not in this alone anymore.  I’ll be here if you need me *** Hoss thought to himself and turned out of the bedroom.

Ben had a much easier job in tending his youngest son later that night.  He was even able to keep the lamp light up as he doctored the boy’s wounds.  Joe was out of it, most likely due to the whiskey that his brother had provided him.  Ben had no resistance from his son as he lifted the nightshirt and applied the medicine to his bites.  Joe was awake, but very groggy so Ben figured the anger was out of him at least temporarily.   He got those wounds tended as well as both wrists and the boy’s neck.  It had been a bit of a challenge to get Joe to swallow the medicine that Paul had left, but after a few spills, it was finally down the boy’s throat and not dripping down his nightshirt.  Since his son wasn’t feeling any pain, at least none that he could speak of, it gave his father his one and only chance to sit by the boy there on the bed.  He just watched as Joe drifted off to sleep.  It gave Ben pause when he went to make his usual move that he did over the years, especially when Joe had been hurt in some way.  Pa couldn’t push a stray curl from his son’s forehead since Hop Sing had cut them all away at Joe’s insistence.  So Ben simply settled for a slight brush across his son’s head before moving quietly off of the bed.  He knew that if Joseph had been awake none of those moments would have happened, so Pa was very grateful for Hoss’ intervention.  Joseph had needed a break, even a small one, from the non-stop hurt and fear that he was experiencing daily.  “Good night, Joseph,” Ben whispered and walked towards the door.

The night’s brief respite from the pain and torment that had become Joe’s new “normal” had not lasted.  The terrible nightmares were back again.  He had experienced them nightly, but never mentioned it due to the circumstances there at home.  Joe hadn’t felt close enough to any of his family members to make them aware of what he had been dealing with, even in his sleep.  And, though he had fought to control how he’d come out of each nightmare, Joe had awakened the entire family this time anyway.  All three Cartwrights met in the hallway and cast concerned glances back and forth before pulling the boy’s door open.

“Joseph?” Ben called quietly as he moved towards the bed.  “Joe, are you alright?”

Hoss and Adam joined their father and stared over at their injured brother.

Joe’s hands shot out frantically as he searched his bedspread for the eyeglasses which had fallen off of him as he had bolted up in his bed.  Hoss hurried to the nightstand and turned the lamp’s wick up higher.

“No!” Joe shrieked, and covered his eyes with his hands.

Ben motioned for Hoss to turn the wick down low again.  “Here they are, Joseph,” Ben announced, as he spotted the glasses down at the bottom of the bed.  He reached towards Joe and tried to get his son to take them into his hands.

Joe struggled to catch his breath, still caught inside the visions which had plagued his sleep.  He felt Pa’s hand as it pushed the eyeglasses closer and Joe quickly pulled them up and put them back on.  

“That was some dream, Little Brother,” Hoss whispered, trying his best to calm the boy.  “How about some water, huh?”

Joe simply shook his head despondently.  He could still hear the voices which had permeated his nightmares and could also see the vision of the shadowy figures of his captors as they had tormented him in his dreams.

Adam looked over at his father, desperation showing in his gaze.   He fought to think of something he could do or say to the boy in order to help alleviate the terror which was written all over Little Joe’s face.

If it had been a normal situation, Ben would’ve settled down onto his youngest son’s bed and pulled him into his arms to comfort him.  That was how he had handled those kinds of things in the past when Joseph had awakened from a nightmare; especially a very bad one.  But due to the tension that had gone on between both him and the boy, and how Joseph had rejected all of his father’s overtures for days, Ben felt completely helpless.

“Joseph,” Ben began again quietly, “would it help for you to talk to us about it?”

“Just leave,” Joe whispered, and pulled the covers back up around his shoulders.  He rolled onto his side and closed his eyes, thus shutting his family out.

“We just want to help you, Joe,” Adam offered.

“No-one can help me now.  I want you all to leave — just go!  It was easy enough for Pa and you to leave me three months ago, so it shouldn’t be hard for both of you to do it now!”

Ben sighed wearily and shook his head.  “Joseph, if you’ll just let me explain what happened that day then maybe I can help you — maybe we all can help you — but you have to want to listen.”

“I said leave!” Joe screamed, and pulled the covers up around his head.

Pa, not wanting there to be a big confrontation there in the middle of the night, motioned to his sons to move away from the bed.  All he could do was to continue to try to get through to his youngest, but it didn’t appear as though he was making any headway at all.

“Goodnight, Joseph,” Ben, crestfallen, called out and walked out of his son’s bedroom.

 

The first week bled into the next with very little progress having been made in Joe’s healing, either physically or emotionally.  He continued to insist on his privacy, and hadn’t said much to Hoss ever since the night they had played those few games of checkers.  Doctor Martin worried about the fact that his patient wasn’t doing well, and in many respects seemed to be doing far worse than when he had been brought home.  The marks on Joe’s neck and wrists were still visible but what concerned Paul far more were those wounds which could not be seen.

“I think the bites are doing better, Ben.  That’s at least something,” Paul called across the living room as he sat drinking his coffee.

Ben shook his head, very discouraged by all that he had witnessed during the doctor’s examination which had been completed a few minutes earlier.  “Yes, at least they don’t look as bad as they did last week.  But, I’m so worried about Joseph, Paul.  He has gone silent, only talking to Hop Sing most days, and that’s only because Joe needs him to fix his bath.  If it wasn’t for his propensity for soaking in a tub daily he might not talk at all.”

“I understand why you’re worried, Ben,” Doc nodded, “but, maybe now that I gave him that cane he’ll try to get up a little bit more?  I don’t want him trying to walk unassisted anymore, not even into the room next to his in order to bathe.  That young man is going to be permanently lame if he doesn’t get that leg fixed before too long.”

Adam and Hoss walked inside the house, gathering around Paul and their father to hear about Joe’s condition.

“Not much better, Doc?” Hoss addressed their concerns.

“Not much,” Paul shook his head as he stared up at both brothers.  “I just told your pa that I left a cane for the kid.   I’m hoping that might get him out of his bed a little, which might help his attitude a bit.   Oh, and I’m trying to get him to take off those blasted eyeglasses!  His vision is fine, but for some reason he refuses to part with them.  I’m concerned that if he wears them much longer he will end up ruining his eyesight.  So, maybe between the three of you, you’ll be able to coax him into taking them off for a little while every day?”

Adam shrugged his shoulders and replied, “That might be hard to do, Doc, especially since Joe won’t talk to us.  But, well, if we get the chance we will.”

Paul stood from the sofa and patted Ben’s arm to try to offer him some support.  “Ben, we knew going into all of this that we were in for the long haul.  Joe was held captive for three months and he’s barely been home for two weeks.  We all need to resign ourselves to the fact that Joe isn’t going to just bounce back from the trauma he’s been through any time soon.  Just see to it that Hop Sing keeps the boy eating well.  Hopefully he’ll try to move around a bit.  And I’d be very pleased if you three can get the boy to take off those glasses for a few hours today.  I’ll stop by at the end of the week.”

Ben moved to the door with the doctor and thanked him.  He watched as Paul walked over to his surrey and then turned back towards his sons.

“I’ll speak to Hop Sing.  Maybe he can get Joseph to move around some tomorrow?  I’ll also ask him to encourage the boy to take those glasses off for a while too.  It’s not going to be easy, as Joe has insisted on wearing them even when he’s in the bathtub.”

“You want me to try to talk to him again, Pa?” Hoss offered his help.

“Let’s see if Hop Sing can get anywhere with your brother first, Hoss.  Hopefully Joseph will listen to him.”

Adam walked to the settee, followed by Hoss, and they both sat down feeling very flummoxed.  Neither of Joe’s brothers could understand his obsessive desire to keep wearing the dark eyeglasses.

“Pa?  Did you talk to Doc about getting Joe to that hospital in San Francisco?”

“Yes, we spoke about it.  He thinks it would be a good idea too.  That boy needs help or he’s not going to ever get better,” Ben nodded over to Adam.

“I hope he can go pretty soon,” Hoss agreed.

What no-one in the living room noticed at that particular moment was the fact that there was a still figure standing at the top of the staircase listening.  Joe was dressed in his nightshirt and robe and he leaned heavily on the cane which Doc had provided.  It sounded to him like his family had been plotting to get rid of him.  Joe quietly limped back down the hallway and moved back into his bedroom.

Seated at the breakfast table the next morning, the three Cartwrights discussed the chores which had been piling up for the past few weeks.  Ben had wanted to stick around the house, just in case he was needed to help Joe, but he had errands in Virginia City which couldn’t be put off much longer.  Adam and Hoss offered to work on chores there around the ranch house until he would be able to make it home later.  They hoped that would ease Pa’s mind.  Ben was just about to pour his second cup of coffee when his eyes caught on the sight of his youngest as he slowly descended the stairs.  He was shocked to see that the boy was dressed in regular working clothes.

“Joseph!”  Ben called across the room and shot a concerned glance over to his other two sons.  “I really don’t think you should be downstairs just yet.”

Joe ignored his father’s protest and limped over to the dining room.  He eased into a chair and leaned his cane against the table before calling out to Hop Sing.  “Can you bring me in a cup?”

Hop Sing was just as shocked as his employer to see the young man sitting there at the table.  He turned back for the kitchen and returned with a cup and place-setting for Joe.

Joe reached across the table and drew off a piece of toast.  He waved away the platter of eggs which Hoss had attempted to give him.  There was no way he was going to try to eat anything more than toast in front of everyone else at the table.  Ben poured Joe a cup of coffee and passed it over to him.

Joe lifted the coffee cup up to his lips using both of his hands.   It was the best he could manage at the time.  Everything that used to seem natural now seemed insurmountable to him ever since he had been brought out from the root cellar.  Utensils seemed foreign to him, and even holding a small coffee cup felt strange held there in his hands.

“How are you doing, Little Brother?” Hoss finally got up the nerve to ask.

“Fine, just fine,” Joe answered, though his tone seemed a mite sarcastic.

“Hey, Joe — I put Cochise out in the front corral.   Maybe you can make it out that far later to see him?” Adam tried to get to his brother by using the animal that the boy loved so much.

Joe stopped eating after taking one bite of his toast.  He drank a half of a cup of coffee and then stood back up without replying.  Grabbing his cane, Joe moved away from the dining room and limped over to the front door.  Ben was quick to get to his feet and find out what his son was up to now.

Joe reached up and touched the green jacket hanging there next to the front door.  He dropped his head down and fought the memory of the last time he had worn it.  Joe remembered placing the jacket inside his saddlebags due to the heat.  He had been rounding up strays at least that was how Joe remembered it now.  Joe’s eyes caught on his holster lying on top of the credenza.  His trembling hands reached over to touch his gun.  He closed his eyes fighting the thoughts creeping back into his head.  Joe couldn’t remember for the life of him whether he had worn it the day that he had been snatched away.  He couldn’t even remember J.T.’s involvement, or how he had ended up looking up at Mr. Hilliard who had held a gun on him.  It was all a big blur now, everything other than the torture he had endured up at the cabin in Littleton.

“Joe?  Son, are you okay?” Ben whispered, noticing how the boy had dropped his head down and simply stood there next to the door.

Shaking himself from his confusion, Joe didn’t answer his father, but instead pulled up his holster and strapped it on.  Then he simply pulled the front door open and limped outside.  Ben followed and watched as Joe slowly made his way over to the front corral and leaned up against it waiting for the pinto to notice him waiting there.  The sight of the boy looking so forlorn filled his father’s heart with sadness.  Adam and Hoss were soon outside standing next to Pa, trying to provide moral support to him.

“Pa, we’ll keep our eyes on Joe.  You go on into town and do what you have to at the bank.  You ought to take a little time for yourself too.  Why not go see Roy and have a good chat or take him to lunch with you?  We’ve got this, don’t worry,” Hoss insisted.

Ben sighed to himself.   He knew that his son was right.  It had been such a long while since he had spent any time away from Joe’s troubles that he had lost all perspective.  Ben hoped that maybe a few hours away from everything might bring him some badly needed clarity.  Regardless, he did have some business that had to get accomplished, and it couldn’t wait much longer.

“I’ll see you boys before dark.  Be sure to keep a good eye on your brother.  Don’t let him even try to leave.  I wouldn’t put anything past that boy, not in his state of mind right now.”

“He’ll be fine.  Go on, get out of here,” Adam smiled and patted his father’s arm as he turned back inside to get his hat and holster.

A few minutes later Ben was mounted on Buck and he waved goodbye to all of his boys, including Joseph; who was the only son who didn’t wave back.

Both Adam and Hoss worked on getting some firewood sawed, cut and stacked.  They knew that they could have delegated the chore to one or two of the ranch hands, but it would keep them busy while still allowing them to keep an eye on Joe.  The boy had spent close to an hour leaning up against the front corral petting and talking to his beloved horse, Cochise.  The two brothers had hoped that it would pick Joe’s spirits up some, just being there next to his old friend.  The kid wouldn’t be able to ride the horse for a long while, but, at least he could stroke the animal’s mane and spend some time with it.  Joe had hobbled back into the house afterwards and Hoss had checked to see what he was doing.  Hop Sing had told the big man that Joe was fine, and was once again sitting in a hot tub soaking.  The concerned big brother figured that all of the walking outside had caused his little brother more pain and that a good soak might help him.  Hoss turned back outside to once again help Adam with cutting the firewood.

It was much later in the afternoon when Joe reappeared outside.  Hoss noticed his brother sitting on the front porch at the table there.  Joe had a shot glass and the bottle of whiskey there in front of him.  Hoss nudged Adam and he looked over at their brother.

“Hey, Joe,” Hoss sang out, moving over to his little brother.  “It’s pretty over-cast today so why don’t you pull off those dark glasses for a bit.  There’s not much light out here.”

“I’m fine like I am,” Joe said defensively.  He poured a shot of the rot-gut and stared over at both of his brothers.  “You two want a drink?”

Adam approached the porch, moving to stand right next to Hoss and replied, “Kind of early in the day isn’t it, Joe?”

“Yeah, I figured you’d say that,” Joe muttered and sneered over at his older brother.

“Hop Sing made some lemonade — you want me to bring you some, Little Joe?” Hoss tried to sound less condescending than Adam had come off.

Joe gave a sarcastic laugh and returned, “You two go get some you must be thirsty from all of that hard work.  I am just fine with what I have here in front of me.”

Adam moved up to the porch and sat down opposite his brother.  “Joe, you know Doc said you really need to take those glasses off for a while each day.  And, like Hoss said it is over-cast right now.  Why don’t you just take them off for an hour or so?”

Joe grabbed his cane and whiskey bottle and stood from the table.  “Mind your own damned business, Adam!  I don’t need your advice or your fake concern either.”

“Do you want to mess up your eyesight?  Don’t you have enough problems?” Adam replied, getting perturbed by his brother’s constant anger towards him.

Joe turned back furious over what Adam had said to him.  “Yeah, that’s right I’ve got lots of problems, problems that both you and Pa caused!” Joe yelled and moved down the steps, heading out into the yard.

“Lighten up on him, Adam,” Hoss called over.  “You don’t know all that the boy’s been through.”  Hoss knew that his older brother had no clue as to some of Joe’s injuries and what had been done to the boy.

“No, maybe I don’t, Hoss, but I do know that he’s got to stop blaming both Pa and me for something that wasn’t our fault!”  Adam defended what he had said to Joe, as he had been hurt over all that the boy had constantly said since he had come home.

Hoss drew closer to his older brother and whispered, “he’s in a lot of pain, Adam, and his head is messed up.  Just calm down, will you?”

“I just wanted him to get those danged glasses off for a while, Hoss.  But, all he ever does is turn everything I say into accusations.”
“C’mon, let’s go over and try to get through to him in a bit softer way, okay?”  Hoss asked, and Adam finally relented.  They both walked over to the corral where Joe was now standing.

“Joe — listen — I’m sorry,” Adam began.  “I am worried about you, no matter what you think right now — I am worried, Kid.  How about we try this again?”

Joe stared at Hoss and shook his head angrily.  “He’s just something isn’t he, Hoss?” Joe asked, implicating Adam.  “I’m supposed to believe that someone who helped Pa leave me to die actually cares about my eyesight?  Can you believe it?”

“We didn’t leave you for dead — if you’d stop thinking only about yourself for a minute —

Joe wouldn’t let his brother finish his statement.   He reached over to Adam and gave him a shove.  “Go away, Adam!”

Adam tried his best to let his brother’s anger and his shove roll off of him.  He knew that the kid had serious problems, so he gave him that one for free.  “That’s all, Joe.  Now, ease up,” Adam warned.

“Cut it out, both of you,” Hoss fussed at his brothers.

Before either brother could respond, one of the hired hands came out of the bunkhouse and approached the three Cartwrights.

“Hey, Joe, I thought I heard you out here! How you doing?” Fletcher called over and neared the boy.

“I’m fine — just fine!” Joe replied, still caught up in his anger towards Adam.

“Let’s go sit down, Joe,” Adam suggested, hoping to diffuse the situation.

Joe reached over and shoved Adam again, catching him off guard.

“That’s it, cut it out!” Hoss attempted to get in the middle of both of his brothers.

Joe was able to side-step Hoss and reached around him to give Adam one final shove.    However, Adam had seen the move this time, and in an attempt to push his brother’s hands away, he accidently pulled the boy’s glasses off of his face.  Joe went totally berserk, flailing his fists, but not connecting with anything, as his eyes were tightly squeezed shut.

“Joe —hey – I’m sorry!” Adam shouted, trying to help find where the glasses had flown off to.

Unfortunately due to the scuffle, the eyeglasses had been kicked across the yard, landing close to the barn door.  Joe fought frantically to find where they had gone, but he couldn’t open his eyes enough in order to see them.  He headed blindly to the barn, finally reaching it.  Stunned after witnessing their brother’s panic, Hoss and Adam hurried to catch up with him.  Joe’s hand hit on the barn door, but he had missed finding the glasses laying close by.  He reached for his pistol and pulled it up into his left hand and turned towards the sound of Adam and Hoss’ rapid approach.

Hoss and Adam stared over at their brother warily.  It had surprised them both that Joe would ever pull a gun on them.  And, even though he still had his eyes closed, they weren’t about to take any chances with him in his current state of mind.

“Just settle down there, Short Shanks,” Hoss called to the boy, trying to calm him by using his nickname.  “Just put your gun away and we’ll find you your eyeglasses.

Joe held his whiskey bottle in one hand and held his Colt with his other one.  “Anyone comes in this barn I’m gonna shoot them!  Leave me the hell alone —and I mean it!” Joe shouted, and entered the barn and shoved the wooden bar down to lock all others out.

“Fletcher, go find Pa will you?  He should be heading back from town by now!” Adam called out to the hired hand.

“I’ll go fetch him!” Fletcher replied and hurriedly mounted his horse, spurring it away.

“What do we do now?” Hoss asked his brother.

Adam shook his head and sighed, “We better leave him be for now, Hoss.  The kid’s not in his right mind.  I handled the whole situation all wrong.  I didn’t know how bad off Joe was until now.  Adam dropped his head down to his chest full of regret and sadness.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.  Pa should be back soon, I’m sure he can talk him out of there,” Hoss remarked, and put his arm around his brother.  He knew that Adam hadn’t intentionally tried to pick a fight with Joe, and that he had shown restraint even after Joe had shoved him a few times.   Hoss also knew that his older brother didn’t know about some of the things that Joe had been dealing with either.

“I don’t know, Hoss, I’m not sure Joe isn’t a danger to everyone right now.  The kid has a gun and he’s got whiskey.  That combination is a deadly one, not to mention what Joe has been thinking lately.”

Hoss nodded and moved across the yard to lean against the corral to wait for either Joe to come out of the barn or for their pa to make it home.

 

Adam and Hoss watched as their father abruptly dismounted there in front of the barn and walked briskly over to them.  They hurriedly stopped him from going inside to see what was going on with Joe.

“No, Pa!” Hoss shouted, and reached for his father’s arm, stopping his progress. “Don’t go in there.  Joe has a gun and he’s been drinking too!”

Ben cast a hard look at both of his sons and replied, “Fletcher caught up with me and said that something was going on here.  What’s happened?”

“We had an argument, Pa.  Joe can’t be reasoned with right now.  Just wait a bit, it’s just not safe.   I’m not sure what he will do now,” Adam returned.

“What set this off?” Ben questioned.  The worry in his tone was very apparent.

“We were just trying to get him to take off those glasses.  We weren’t trying to hurt him, Pa.  We were just telling him that Doctor Martin said he doesn’t really need them anymore and it might hurt his eyesight in the long run.  We got into a little shoving match and I accidently pulled them off of him.  I’m sorry, Pa, I think doing that sent him over the edge.  Now he’s inside here and he’s got whiskey with him.  He said he’d shoot the first person who tries to go into the barn,” Adam tried his best to explain, his voice rife with concern.

Ben kneeled down as he spotted Joe’s dark glasses lying just outside of the barn door.  He drew them to him and frowned.  Then he folded and tucked them away inside the pocket of his vest.

“You boys go away.  I’m going to go in there and talk to him,” Ben insisted.

“Pa — it just ain’t safe right now,” Hoss pleaded with his father, his voice sounding strained.  “Joe’s not in his right mind — he might use that gun!”

“Go into the house both of you!” Ben commanded.

Adam looked over at Hoss, they both intended on standing their ground, not allowing their father to head into what might be a dangerous situation.  But, when they caught the look that Pa sent over at them both, they reluctantly turned back towards the ranch house.  They both thought that Pa going inside to talk to Joe was the worst thing he could possibly do at the time, but had to acquiesce.  They had witnessed the fierce determination on the man’s face, and knew he wasn’t going to change his mind.

Ben drew in a deep breath and then knocked on the barn door.  “Joseph, it’s your pa.  I want to come in and talk with you.  I’ve sent your brothers away so it will only be the two of us.  Can I come in?”

Ben hadn’t heard a reply, though he had waited a few minutes hoping his son would open the door of his own accord.  “Joseph?  Can I come in?” Ben repeated.  Then he heard the sound of a gun cocking coming from just inside where he now stood.

“Come in, Pa,” Joe called out harshly.  He removed the wooden bar from across the door and then stepped back, retreating into the darkness.

Ben entered the barn warily.  It was almost pitch black inside.  There was only one lantern, right at the entranceway, whose wick was turned down so low that it was barely visible.

“Joseph?  I can’t see you, Son.”

“Back here, leave that lantern by the door!  I don’t want the light anywhere nears me,” Joe instructed, his voice sounding strangely ominous.

Ben tried his best to find where his son was sitting at a table in the very back beyond all of the stalls.  Moving very slowly, he was finally able to feel the back of a chair and Ben maneuvered to sit down.

“Why did you come?” Joe muttered angrily.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.  It’s been almost two full weeks since you got back home, Son.  You’ve pushed me away every time I’ve tried to speak to you.  Will you talk to me now?”

Joe gave an ironic laugh and Ben heard the sound of a glass being pushed across the table towards him.  “Sure, Pa, sure let’s have us a good talk.  Here.  I’ve given you some whiskey.  Go ahead and drink it.”

Ben’s hands sought out the glass.  He wasn’t sure why the boy was insisting on him taking a drink of the liquor.

“You want to talk?   Then you’ve got to drink,” Joe stated firmly.

Ben heard the hammer of his son’s gun again.  “Ease that hammer down, Joseph, and then I’ll drink.”

“If I shoot myself will you choose me then?” Joe began, disobeying his father’s command.

Ben drew in a deep breath, his heart beating hard in his chest.  Apparently his son was dwelling on why he had been left behind and why his pa had taken Adam with him and simply rode away.  “Joseph you’re not going to shoot yourself.  I didn’t make a choice back then.  They were going to kill you if I hadn’t left when I did.  There wasn’t anything I could do, Son!  I came right back for you, just as soon as I could,” Ben tried, as he had for weeks, to address the facts.

Joe laughed, and it echoed inside the barn.  “You came back as soon as you could, Pa?  Three months?  Was that as soon as you could?  Drink your whiskey, Pa!”

Ben was cautious due to his son’s emotional state along with the amount of alcohol he might have consumed.  “I’ll drink just as soon as you set that gun down.”

Joe settled his Colt on the table.  Ben couldn’t see the weapon, but he could hear the sound of it as it hit the wooden table top.

“Are you drinking, Pa?” Joe sang out, as his hand fell back on his gun again.

Ben took a sip of the pungent rot gut and answered with a forced calm to his voice, “Yes, Joseph, I’m drinking.  Now will you talk to me?  I need to know all that’s happened to you.  You need to get it all out and help me to understand so that we can deal with it.”

“Deal with it?” Joe retorted bitterly.  “Okay, Pa, yes, let’s deal with it!  Do you know about the darkness?” He asked, his voice suddenly falling to little more than a whisper.

“No, Son, tell me about it,” Ben urged the boy, knowing by the change in his son’s tone that his memories had been driven to the surface.

“Don’t go up there, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there,” Joe’s plaintive voice returned.

Ben noticed the difference in his son’s speech and it scared him.  It was as though he was now talking to two separate versions of Joseph.  The boy’s voice was one moment riveting, and the next moment it carried a strange haunting tone, making it all that more palpable.  “Tell me what happens in the light, Joseph.”

“They took me up to the light, Pa, there’s pain in the light.  They hurt me.  They took turns hurting me, Pa.  Both of them just kept on hurting me.  My hands were tied up in front of me this time, not like last time.  Did I tell you that, Pa?”

Ben fought off the terror he was feeling.  He thought about past wounds and past trauma that his son had endured.   Pa could tell that Joe was thinking about all of those incidents as well.  “No, Son, you didn’t tell me.  What happened up there?”

“Don’t go up there, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there,” Joe whispered once again.  There was a long pause and then he sounded out louder.  “Am I crazy yet, Pa?”

“No, Joe, you’re not crazy.  You’ve just been hurt very badly,” Ben tried to calm the boy.

“Drink your whiskey, Pa!” Joe shouted once more.  He listened to see if his father was adhering to his demand.

“I’m drinking, Joe,” Ben responded, trying to force a calm into his voice.

“Don’t pour it on the ground again, Pa.  I can hear that!” Joe warned, and grabbed his father’s glass.  He drew it back across the table and poured another shot and then shoved it back at his father.  “I said drink, Pa!   If you want to hear this, then you’ve got to drink.”

“Okay, Joseph, I’ll drink.  I’m drinking it right now,” Ben called out, and drew the shot glass up to his lips.  “Now, tell me — tell me what happened in the light?”

“Don’t go up, Pa — there’s pain in the light, — stay in the darkness you’ll be safe there,” Joe answered, this time in one rapid breathless statement.  “They hurt me, Pa, they both hurt me!  Then they dragged me back into the darkness.  But, I was safe in the darkness.  You think that I’m crazy yet, Pa?”

Ben came to the conclusion that Joe wasn’t drunk, but was having some kind of an emotional breakdown due to all of the horror which he had endured.  Pa couldn’t help thinking of that dark musty root cellar where his son had spent the better part of three months.  The boy had been held in the worst kinds of conditions for all that time, and apparently he had been pushed far beyond what his mind could endure.  Ben wished he had seen it coming.  He wished that he had realized why Joe had demanded to wear those shaded glasses long beyond when he had needed to wear them physically.  He had missed that sign.  Ben now understood that those glasses had been used to shield his son from the memories of the horrors which had taken place in the light of the cabin where Joe had been held.  The boy was terrified of the light, any light, and no-one had realized it.

“You’re not crazy, Son.  The men that held you hurt you so badly and in so many ways.  But, you’re not crazy.”

Ben heard the sound of the hammer of Joe’s gun again as the boy cocked it back.  “If I shoot myself will you choose me, Pa?” he cried out.

“I didn’t make a choice, Joseph, or I would’ve stayed right there with you.  Ease up on that hammer, Son, and put the gun down.”

Joe gently eased the hammer back into place and settled the gun there on the table right in front of him.  “Drink your whiskey, Pa, only then will I tell you about the light.”

“I am drinking it, Joe.  Now please tell me about the light.”

Joe leaned forward towards the sound of his father’s voice and whispered, “Bad things happen in the light, Pa.  They hurt you up there.  You know that they make you eat even when you don’t want to?  They shove the food into your mouth so you have to swallow, Pa.  You either swallow it or you choke.  Bad things happen in the light, Pa.  They hurt me — my hands were tied in front of me — did I tell you that?  Not like the last time, Pa, you remember?  Back then they were tied behind me.  Do you think that I am crazy?”

Ben fought to control the dread he was feeling upon witnessing what seemed like his youngest son’s descent into madness.  “You are not crazy, Joseph — you are just really hurt.  You’ve been put through so much, Son.”

“Drink your whiskey, Pa!  Did I tell you about the rat?” Joe questioned, as he grabbed his father’s glass and refilled it.  He then sent it back across the table with a quick shove.

Pa’s stomach churned.  He didn’t know if he could emotionally handle hearing any more of his son’s tales of how he had been put through such awful torment. But, he knew the boy had to get it all out.   Ben also needed any information he could garner in order to try to help his son.  Struggling for control of his trembling voice, he replied, “Tell me about the rat, Joe.”

Speaking with what sounded like a wistful tone, Joe began to recount his ordeal, “Pa, I couldn’t tell time there in the dark.  I couldn’t tell days or weeks or even months.  But, it was okay as I was safe in the darkness,” Joe broke from his recollection and the whispered voice came back.  “Don’t go up there, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there.”

Ben fought his desire to pull his son into his arms to shield him from the horrors which the boy had endured.  Joe needed to share all of the events he had lived through, no matter how dreadful they were.  “What about the rat, Joe?”

“You mean my rat, Pa?  That’s right, it was mine!  I would lay there in the darkness, Pa.  I was all alone until one night — or one day — I don’t know what it was because it was so dark.  Anyway, I felt something crawl on me, Pa.  It was a rat.   It was my rat.”

Ben’s face flinched at the thought of what Joe had just conveyed.  Just the image which the boy had painted through his terror filled words made Pa’s heart sink in his chest.  He fought to register in his mind all that his son was relating to him.

“I wasn’t scared, Pa.  It didn’t bite me.  It just lay on my chest.  It was warm, Pa.  It was so nice and warm and it just lay there,” Joe recounted his experience with the rodent, and his voice seemed almost cheery at the time.  “I would try to save it some crumbs, Pa.  You know —when they would take me up into the light?”

“Go on, Son,” Ben urged, after Joe had stopped telling his story.

“Don’t go up there, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there,” Joe whispered, the same repetitive statement.

“What happened, Joseph?  What happened to the rat?” Ben asked again, though he wished he didn’t have to learn any further details.  But, he knew that the information would help him figure out what had gone on, and why his son had mentioned the rat.

Joe squeezed his eyes closed tightly and shouted out, “If I shoot myself will you choose me this time, Pa?!”

Ben had heard his son lifting the gun off of the table again.  “Put that gun down, Joe.  Just lay it down and tell me about the rat.”

“Drink your whiskey, Pa!” Joe yelled angrily.  “You’re going to need it for this story, Pa.”

“I’ll drink when you put that gun down, Joseph,” Ben tried again to bargain with the boy to prevent an accidental discharge of the firearm.

“Okay, Pa,” Joe nodded, and dropped the gun back down onto the table.

Ben shakily pulled the shot glass up to his lips and took another sip.

Satisfied, after hearing his father drink, Joe continued his story.  “They took me into the light, Pa.  Both of them did bad things to me.  I won’t ever tell you what they did!   But they took turns doing very bad things to me.  But, my hands were tied in front of me this time — not like before, Pa.  You were there so you remember before how I was tied, right? But, wait —did I tell you this already?”

 Ben knew exactly what memory had been conjured up in Joe’s mind.  There were a few instances that he could think of where the boy had been tied like that, with his hands behind him.  But Ben knew in his heart the exact incident Joseph was referring to in his continued mention of how his ropes had been placed on his wrists.  It was the memory of what had happened four years ago which caused Ben to share in the boy’s anguish.  “Yes, Son, you told me about how you were tied up this time.”

“After they would hurt me, then they would drop buckets of cold water onto me to clean me up.  Bucket after bucket, Pa, until I was half drowned.  They wanted me clean for the next time they’d take me up into the light.   Then they would wrap me in an old blanket and put me back down into the darkness,” Joe continued to detail some of the events which he had lived through.

Ben drew his hands up to cover his face.  He attempted to fight back tears over all of the torment his son had gone through and how it was now affecting his mind.  “Go on, Son,” He coaxed the boy, as gently as he could muster at the time.

“I tried to smuggle crumbs for my rat, Pa.  Sometimes I’d hold my wrists real tight so the crumbs wouldn’t get wet when they threw the water over me.  That way I could feed my rat later.  He would crawl on my wrists and he would eat the crumbs and then he would go to sleep on my chest,” Joe explained it all matter-of-factly, as though it was a totally normal thing to have done.

Ben noticed his son had stopped speaking again.  He thought that he heard the boy now sobbing, but it was so faint that he couldn’t tell for sure.  It was also far too dark there in the back of the barn to see Joe’s face.  “Tell me what happened.”

Joe began once more, in a soft whisper.  “Pa, they must’ve heard me talking to my rat.  I didn’t mean to get him into trouble,” Joe stopped once again, and now he was definitely crying, there was no doubt.  He still gripped his gun in his left hand, but Joe dropped his head down on the table next to it.

Ben wanted to reach for his son’s hand to offer him emotional support.  But, he was cognizant of the fact that the boy was on the brink of a mental collapse and that he just might accidentally fire his weapon.  “Joseph — go on tell me what happened.  It’s okay, just get it out.  You’ve held this in for far too long.”

“Don’t go up, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there, “Joe sobbed.

“What happened to the rat, Joe?” Ben questioned, though he dreaded what would be revealed next.  He was finding the whole situation to be emotionally overwhelming.

Joe finally lifted his head from off of the table and took in a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.  “They came and pulled him off of my chest, Pa.  They held him by his tail!  Then they took him up the stairs — to the very top step where the light was.  Oh, Pa!  Bad things happen in the light!” Joe exclaimed breathlessly.

“Tell me, Son,” Ben urged, fighting back his own tears.

“They dropped him there on the top step and then they stomped him, Pa!  They stomped him!  I heard his bones break, Pa — they killed him.  Pa, they killed my rat,” Joe stopped and sucked in a hitched breath.  His voice changed pitch again and he called out with far more volume, “am I crazy now, Pa?”

Ben didn’t know what to do at that point.  He was well aware that Joe was falling down a deep well of despair, and he had no idea how to stop the descent.  “No, Joseph, you are not crazy.  They injured you in so many ways.  You endured so much.  But it will be okay, Son.  Though it will take some time, it will be okay.”

Joe sucked in air again and his voice took on a more mournful cadence as he continued, “Pa, you want to know what they did after they killed my rat?”

Ben once again fought to answer.  He was having trouble dealing with all that he had already been told about his son’s imprisonment.  However, this was his son, his child, and he was injured almost to the point of no return.  He had to ask, he had to fit together all of the pieces of the puzzle that were locked inside the boy’s mind in order to help him.  Finally, he drew in a deep and hurtful breath and replied, “What happened, Joseph?”

“They brought me up into the light — bad things happen in the light, Pa!  They held me down and they fed me.  They shoved the food in my mouth, Pa.  I had to swallow or choke.  Pa — they cooked my rat — and that’s what they made me eat!  They made me eat my rat, Pa!” Joe shouted out, still mentally stuck inside all of the horror which the whole event had cost him.  He settled his head back down onto the table again.  Joe’s gun was still clutched tightly in his left hand. “I know you think I’m crazy now, Pa!”

As Joe’s father, Ben had always tried to be his protector.  It was very apparent that he had failed the boy.  He felt like it was his fault that he hadn’t found his son for three long months.  Knowing this, Pa wanted to settle his head onto the table and weep right alongside of his boy.  Ben couldn’t imagine the types of torture which his youngest son had been forced to endure.  “Oh, Joseph, no, you’re not crazy,” Ben insisted.

“I AM crazy and you’re gonna put me in an asylum, Pa!  I heard you telling Adam and Hoss that you were,” Joe sang out angrily, fighting for what little control he could muster.  So don’t say I’m not crazy if you don’t believe it!”

“Son, you misunderstood whatever you heard.  I’ve been talking about taking you to a hospital in San Francisco to get your leg fixed.  I wasn’t going to send you to an asylum.  Doctor Martin says there’s a good surgeon there who can fix you.”

“Fix my leg, Pa?  Nobody can fix my leg, Pa.  Fix my head?  Nobody can fix my head either.  You just want to send me away.”

“No, Son.  Have I ever lied to you?  No, I haven’t and I’m not about to start now.”

Joe wiped at his eyes and tried to breathe, though it was getting harder.  He tried to register all that his father had said.  “Drink your whiskey, Pa!” Joe yelled, and drew up his Colt from the table, pulling back on the hammer again.

Ben couldn’t see the gun, but he had distinctly heard the metallic clicking of the hammer as his son had pulled it back.  “I’ll drink once I hear you put down your gun, Joe.  Now ease up on that hammer, you don’t want it to go off.”

Joe eased back the hammer and set his gun down once more.  He brought his father’s glass forward and poured another shot and then sailed it across the table.

“Tell me what happened to your leg, Joseph?” Ben asked.  He had tried for weeks to get the boy to explain to him how he’d gotten hurt but to no avail.

“Don’t go up, Pa, there’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there,” Joe whispered in response.

“How did it happen?” Ben pleaded for an answer.

“They took me up to the light, Pa.  Bad things happen in the light.  They took their time with me.   Both of them took turns hurting me, Pa.  I can’t tell you everything that they did to me.  Some things you can never know.   Did I tell you my hands were tied in front of me, Pa?  Not like before, you know when my hands were tied behind me?”

Ben fought to reply, his throat tight and dry with fear, “Yes, Son, you told me about your ropes.   What happened?”

“This time they didn’t pour the buckets of cold water over me to clean me up.  They always cleaned me off to be ready for the next time they’d bring me back up into the light.  They always wanted me clean.  I had no idea why they didn’t do that this time and I didn’t know what they were going to do to me next.  I thought they had already done everything to me already.  Just like when they put the rope around my neck — they did that when they brought me up the last time.  I thought they were going to hang me, but they didn’t.  At least they didn’t really hang me, not all the way, just enough to make them laugh.  They laughed when I started to choke, but then they took the noose back off.  You know they wanted me to cry, but I didn’t.  I stopped crying a long time ago, way back when they began to hurt me when I got to the cabin.  I just didn’t have any more tears left in me after those first couple of times I guess,” Joe paused as his hand reached up and rubbed at his neck due to the memory he had conjured back up again.  “After they did whatever else that they wanted to do to me one last time, I heard them saying something about leaving.”

Ben clenched his hands, swept up in his need for vengeance which was always there just below the surface.  Listening to his boy as he had explained how he had almost been hung made his pulse quicken.   He needed to hurt those evil men for all that they had done to the boy who sat there in the dark and recounted the unimaginable horrors done there inside the cabin.  “Did you see their faces, Joe?” Ben had to ask.  His son had refused to give any description of his captors for almost two weeks straight.  Pa needed clues in order to seek some kind of justice for all that the boy had endured.  Everyone who knew Ben Cartwright was cognizant of the fact that to hurt Joseph was far worse than if they had harmed his father.  They also knew that somehow Pa would find those responsible even if it took the rest of his life to do it.

“No, Pa.  It was too bright in the light, they made sure of that.  I would keep my eyes closed and play possum Pa.  Do you know why a possum pretends to be dead?”

“Tell me, Son?”

“So’s the wild animals won’t hurt them.   But that doesn’t work, Pa.  I tried to play possum but I still got hurt.  But, I did stay real still.  They said they would fix it that I wouldn’t ever be able to leave. Then they dragged me across the room.  I felt my left leg being lifted onto something.  I think it was a block of wood, I don’t know because I couldn’t look at the light.  It was holding my ankle up, Pa.  And then —then,” Joe stopped abruptly as a guttural sound gushed out of his throat, followed by an intense primal scream.  

Ben almost came out of his chair, so shocked by the sounds which had emanated from his boy’s mouth.  He had to regroup and try to get his emotions back in check.   After a few moments he finally asked, “What happened?  What did they do?”

“They stomped me, Pa!”  Joe shrieked.  “They stomped my leg, Pa!  I heard my bones break — just like I heard bones breaking when they stomped my rat, Pa!  Oh, Pa!  Bad things happen in the light, Pa!”  Joe whimpered, and dropped his head on his arms again.

Ben recoiled in shock and felt his body go limp.  He didn’t know what to say nor how to pick up the pieces of what was left of the shattered boy there in front of him.  He almost forgot about the gun and began to reach for his son.  Ben caught himself at the last minute and had to wait for the moment to arise when he could help the tormented boy.  “Dear God no, Joseph!  I’m so sorry, I’m just so sorry,” Ben sobbed.  He couldn’t help himself.  The devastated father had held his own emotions in just as long as it had been humanly possible.   But now he couldn’t contain the overwhelming sorrow over what had been done to the boy he loved so dearly.

“I don’t know if I screamed, Pa.  I only know that I woke up in the light and nobody was there.  I could sense I was alone but I couldn’t look because it was too bright, Pa.  Bad things happen in the light, Pa.”

Ben fought once again to reply to what had been said, though it took the last fragments of all of his internal strength to do it.  “What did you do then, Joe?”

“I dragged myself to the stairs, Pa.  I dragged my left leg behind me to the stairs. And then step by step I crawled back down into the darkness.  It’s safe in the darkness, Pa.  Then I searched using my hands until I found whatever I could — I think it was a pipe or something sticking out of the ground.  I’m not sure.  But, I put my left boot under it and then I tried to push using my right foot and leg in order to set the broken bones.  Oh, Pa!  I didn’t do it right!  Pa, I didn’t set my leg right.  It’s never going to be fixed.  I did it all wrong, Pa!” Joe exclaimed, feeling as though it was his fault that his leg would never heal now.

“No, Son.  You did as well as anyone could have under those circumstances,” Ben argued.  “A man wasn’t meant to set his own leg.  Your leg was broken far too badly for you to have gotten a good set, Joseph.”

Joe cried, “I know I’m crazy now, Pa!”  He drew the gun back up and pulled back on the hammer.  “If I shoot myself will you choose me this time, Pa?”

Ben drew in a deep breath and held it in.  He had heard the true remorse in the boy’s explanation and now witnessed the way Joe’s mind had gone back once again to why he had been left behind to begin with.  “Joseph, you are not crazy.  And, you have to get it into your head that I didn’t choose Adam over you.  Yes, he had been shot and needed to get to Doc’s, but that’s not why I left you.   They were holding a gun to your head and said that they would kill you if I didn’t leave right away.  You have to know I’d never leave you if there had been any other way!  Joseph, you’re so upset that you’re not thinking straight.  You have to know how much I’ve always loved you.  I’d never leave without you if there was any other way.  It took three months to find you, but there wasn’t one single day that went by that I didn’t search for you — we all searched for you.  Now let up on that hammer and put down your gun!  We need to talk about getting your leg fixed now.”

“No, Pa,” Joe sobbed.  “Nobody can fix my leg and nobody can fix my head,” Joe paused and dropped his head down on the table right on top of his left hand which still held his Colt, though he had taken the time to ease the hammer back into place.

“That’s just not true, Joe!  You have a good chance at that leg being fixed.  I just have to get you to the hospital.  You know it’s the same hospital where your uncle works, right?  You’ve always liked Dr. Peele, right?”

“That’s the place that put me in restraints!  You want to put me in there and leave me!  I know you do!”

“No, Joseph, you’re wrong.  It’s been many years since you were there and had to be placed into restraints.  And, that wasn’t because you were crazy.  Son, you remember, right?  That’s when you were getting off of the morphine.  Joseph, you weren’t sent away because you were crazy back then, it was to get you off of that medicine.  You wouldn’t be going to the hospital this time for any reason other than to get your leg mended and I’ll be right there with you.  I won’t leave you, I promise!  There’s a whole brand new surgical wing that helps people with injuries.  Now that’s where I’d take you, just to get your leg fixed up,” Ben tried his best to get his son to comprehend all that he had tried to explain to him.

“I can’t,” Joe cried, shaking his head back and forth hopelessly.

“Why?”

“You know why!   I’ve told you!   It’s because at the hospital there’s light there, Pa!  There’s pain in the light.  I can’t be in the light anymore.”

Trying to determine how to best get through to his son, Ben fought to find the right words.   He was beginning to feel like he was quickly losing the battle to get Joseph to understand.  Ben could tell that Joe needed to have professional help, and a lot of it, in order to mend his injured leg.  The boy also needed help with whatever was going on inside his mind.

“Pa, my brain is all jumbled up.  I think I’m crazy.  I don’t blame you for wanting to put me away.”

“I’m not going to put you away,” Ben reiterated.  He thought for a few minutes and said, “Joseph, how about your glasses?  What if you wear them and then you won’t be in the light when you go to the hospital to get your leg fixed?”

Joe stared over in the direction of his father’s voice and tried to think on what he had offered.  “But, will they break my leg again, Pa?  I don’t want to get stomped.   I can’t take that and I can’t take the light.  The light only brings pain.”

Ben sighed and replied, “Son, they will sedate you during the operation to fix your leg.   You won’t feel anything, I promise you.   You won’t have the kind of pain that you went through when those evil men broke your leg.”

Joe’s right hand went up to the top of his head and held onto it.  “What about my head, Pa?  Can they fix my head?  I’m afraid of the light, Pa.  I don’t want to be in the light.  Will you stay in the darkness with me?  Or will you just leave me again?”

“I’m sure there are doctors who can help you with those kinds of things, Son.  And, as for the darkness — well — if you need me to stay in the darkness with you then I will.  I’ll stay with you in the darkness for however long you need me to be there.  I promise you that I will not leave you. Now, will you hand me that gun please?”

Joe lifted his Colt up from the table and called over to his father and said, “I wasn’t going to shoot Adam and Hoss, Pa.  I wasn’t going to shoot you either.  I was going to shoot myself.  I thought that if I did, well, then you would choose me this time.  I didn’t want you to leave me again.  I’m scared, Pa.  I’m more scared of living than I am of dying.  You said that you took Adam with you because he was shot and that you left me so I wouldn’t be killed.  But, I was killed, Pa!  Those men killed me every single day for three months.  And, now I can’t be in the light.  Pa, there’s bad things in the light!   That’s why I have to stay in the darkness.  You can’t be with me unless you stay in the darkness too.”

Ben fought back tears once more after hearing what Joseph had said.  It hurt so much to think about the boy feeling as though he had died every day for three straight months.  Trying his best to regroup his emotions, he replied, “I understand, Joseph.  You see Adam and Hoss didn’t know how you felt.  I didn’t know how you felt either.  But, now that we do know, we can all help you.  I’ve told you that I will stay in the darkness for as long as it takes and I won’t leave you.  I promise you that I won’t leave you again.  Now, will you please hand me your gun?”

“Here, Pa,” Joe whispered, and reached across the table.  He relinquished the weapon to his father.

Ben sighed wearily.  He had been so petrified that Joe would inadvertently shoot himself, that now, holding his son’s gun, helped calm his own nerves.  One by one Ben shucked the shells out of the Colt and placed them inside the pocket of his shirt.

“Will you let me take you inside the house with me now, Joseph?”

Joe slid out of his chair and went down to his knees onto the hay covered floor of the barn.  He held his hands up to his face and wept.  Ben felt his way over to the boy and knelt down there alongside of him.   He placed his arms around Joe and drew his son close to him, sheltering the boy inside his loving embrace.

“It’s going to be okay, Joseph.  I promise you it will be okay,” Ben whispered.

“What about the light, Pa?  The light is in the house,” Joe cried, panic in his voice.  “There’s pain in the light, Pa.”

Ben reached inside his vest pocket and pulled out his son’s dark glasses.  “Here,” He said and placed the glasses into Joe’s hands.  “You wear these and I’ll let your brothers know that we need to turn the lamps down some in the house.  Will that help, Son?”

Joe nodded as he pulled the dark glasses up and placed them over his eyes.  “Tell them about the light and tell them it’s safe in the darkness.”

“I will,” Ben agreed, and helped to pull his son to standing.  He slowly eased the boy out of the barn.  Joe’s limp was markedly worse as they walked through the barn door and out into the yard.

As they exited the barn, Pa noticed both Hoss and Adam standing there off to the side.  Hoss was mopping his eyes on his shirt sleeve and Adam had his hands held up over his mouth.  Ben could tell that they had overheard everything that had been said inside the barn.

“Pa— you and Joe take your time going into the house.  Adam and I are going to get those lamps turned down in the living room – and well — anywhere else that they’re too bright!” Hoss insisted.

“Yeah, won’t take us long!” Adam sang out as he and Hoss hurried to do whatever they could in order to help their little brother in dealing with the dread of being forced into the light.  Both of his brothers were now keenly aware that pain was always there in Joe’s mind.

Ben matched his son’s slow gait with that of his own.  He tried hard to decipher all that he had witnessed and heard inside of the barn.  Joe allowed his father to make the first real physical contact that the two of them had shared in many months, as Pa helped to hold him up as they made the trek to the front porch.  Ben slowly eased the boy down into one of the chairs next to the entranceway.  He wanted to be sure that they gave both of Joe’s brothers the time they needed to draw down the wicks in all of the lamps inside of the house.

“Joseph?” Ben whispered.  He watched as the boy stretched his injured left leg out in front of him.  “How bad is the pain from your leg?”

Joe looked down at the wooden planks of the porch and replied shaking his head hopelessly, “Pa, all I have is pain.  Pain is all that I know.”

Ben sadly glanced over at the boy, witnessing how broken and despondent his son appeared.  It hurt him to the marrow because he had no idea how to fix any of Joseph’s problems at the time.  He prayed that he could get the boy the help that he needed.  “I’ll contact your uncle tomorrow.  We’ll see what we can do about helping you with that pain, Joe.”

“We’re all set in here, Pa,” Adam called as both he and Hoss came outside onto the porch.

“Here you go, Little Brother,” Hoss said, and reached over to hand Joe the cane he had dropped during his tussle with his brothers earlier.

“Are you ready, Son?” Ben asked his youngest.

Joe fidgeted with his eye glasses and with great effort stood up, now leaning heavily on his cane.  “There’s pain in the light, Pa.  Please keep it away,” Joe whispered to his father, just out of ear-shot from his brothers.  He looked warily at both Hoss and Adam.  But, Joe was especially afraid of what Adam might do.  Joe hadn’t forgotten that it was his oldest brother who had caused his glasses to come off which had sent him frantically seeking the shelter of the barn.

Ben caught the sound of fear in Joe’s whispered plea and also noticed how the boy had looked warily over at Adam.  “It will be okay, Son.  I’ll keep you from the light — and so will your brothers.  Now, let’s get you inside,” Pa urged and helped steady his son as they slowly headed from the porch and over to the front door.

As Pa helped Joe inside the house his brothers watched as the boy came to an abrupt stop there next to the credenza.  He cast a cautious glance around the living room, making sure the lamps were in fact drawn down.  His father and brothers exchanged concerned looks, wondering just what Joe was thinking at the time.

“I – I think I’d like to go up to my room,” Joe stuttered in a low and extremely fearful voice.

“Here, Joe, let me go up with you,” Hoss jumped right to his brother’s aid.  He guessed that Pa would want to send someone for the doctor, and needed to keep that fact away from Joe at the time.

“Yes, that would be good, Hoss,” Ben nodded over to him gratefully.

Joe paused there for a few minutes and stared back over at his father fear still in his eyes.

“It’s okay, Joseph, I’ll be right up,” Ben said calmly and reached out and touched the boy’s shoulder.

Hoss waited for his brother to start moving to the stairs and then walked right next to him, keeping pace with Joe all the way up to his room.

“Adam, better send someone for Doctor Martin,” Ben sighed and placed Joe’s empty gun there by the door.

“I’ll go, Pa — I think I could use a little air,” Adam admitted.  He had been so worried that Joe might shoot his father or himself that it had been at his insistence that both he and Hoss had waited just outside of the barn.

Ben nodded and patted his son’s arm.  “That’ll be fine, Son.  Maybe tell him some of what you saw and heard so he’ll know why I’m sending for him.”

Adam’s eyes tracked down to the credenza and he replied, “Pa — what about that gun?” 

Pa noticed that his son was looking at Joe’s weapon.  He reached inside his shirt pocket and removed the six bullets that he had withdrawn from it inside the barn earlier.  Ben held them out so his son could see them.

“Well, that’s good — but what about the other guns around here?  I just want to make sure that when I get home there won’t be another situation like you had to deal with a little while ago.”

“One worry at a time, Adam, don’t fret I’ll be sure to keep my eyes on Joseph.  Now go and bring Doc out here.”

Adam nodded and left the house.  He wasn’t entirely convinced that Joe no longer posed a danger to anyone.   But he trusted his father, even if he didn’t quite trust his little brother at the present time.  

When Ben made it upstairs he spied Hoss standing just outside of Joe’s bedroom.  He walked over to him to find out what was going on, and why he wasn’t watching the boy.

“Hoss, why aren’t you inside with your brother?”

“He said he wanted to get undressed, Pa.  It’s okay, I’ve been right here listening at his door.”

Ben knocked on the door and called in to Joe, “Can I come in, Son?”

When there was no answer, both Ben and Hoss walked inside the room.  They saw that Joe was already changed and laying under the covers in his bed.

“Joseph?  Do you want to try and get some sleep?” Ben asked calmly as he moved to sit in the chair next to the bed.

“Did you tell him, Pa?  Did you tell Hoss about the light?” Joe whispered in response.

Hoss and his father exchanged worried glances. Joe seemed to be caught inside his fears, just as he had been inside the barn.  This time, however there was no anger to go along with that fear.

“He knows, Son,” Pa reassured the boy gently.  “You don’t have to worry about the light.  Everyone knows now, Joseph.  You go ahead and get some sleep, okay?”

“Stay in the darkness — you’ll be safe there,” Joe whispered and closed his eyes.

Ben looked up at Hoss and saw the sadness all over the big man’s face.

“I know, Hoss,” Ben nodded.  No further words were needed between the two of them.  They were both worried about Joe’s state of mind, and whether they would be able to help the boy.

 

Late that evening both Ben and Doctor Martin sat in the living room discussing all that had gone on that day.  Adam had tried his best to describe to Paul exactly what had happened before his brother had locked himself inside the barn and brandished his pistol.  Upon arriving, the doctor had requested that he talk to Ben alone before going upstairs to check on his patient.  He figured he would get the father’s perspective, after hearing what his eldest son thought about the situation.  And, besides that, Paul knew that Ben would need to get a lot off of his chest.  He knew that the man had gone through a very rough time in trying to talk his youngest son to hand over his weapon.

“The Joe Cartwright who entered that barn was not the same Joe Cartwright who came out of it later, Paul,” Ben remarked as he downed his brandy, trying to calm his jittery nerves.

“Adam mentioned Joe describing how his leg got broken?”

Ben fought the rage he couldn’t shake over what had been done to his son.  There had been such trauma done to his boy’s body that Pa had trouble comprehending it all.  “Yes, evidently those men thought that by crippling my son that he would just die there in the cabin once they left him there.  They raised his leg onto something and then, as Joseph said, stomped it.  He said he heard the bones break.”

Paul shook his head, fighting his own anxiety over what all he had heard thus far.  “I know those men will pay dearly for what they’ve done, Ben.  But, this isn’t a time for vengeance we have to help Joe heal some first.  Who set the leg?”

Ben poured another shot of brandy and offered one to Doc, but the man waved it away.  “Joseph did.  He said once he came around he was up in the light and crawled back down into the cellar.  Joe said he stuck his left boot under something and then tried to pull on it using his right leg.”

Sighing, and biting back anger again, Paul replied, “Well, that explains why it wasn’t set properly.  That poor kid!  Those men hurt his body so much, and he suffered for such a long time that I don’t know how in the world he’s still alive.”

“I know,” Ben answered, and fought back tears.  “He told me he died every day for three months.  And, he kept bringing up how he was tied.   I think Joseph was alluding to what happened to him four years ago, but he wouldn’t come out with it.  We’ve both seen some signs of that.”

“Sadistic bastards,” Paul muttered.  Ben had rarely heard the man cuss, but Joe wasn’t just any patient to him, so it hadn’t surprised him all that much.  Paul not only delivered Joseph, but he had cared for him through many illnesses and injuries over the years, including the dreadful incident which had occurred there at the ranch house four years ago.  “It’s all too much, Ben.  But, if we feel this way imagine how that boy is feeling?  It sounds as if the anger he was using towards both you and Adam has finally ended and in its place is the horror caused by all that he went through.  I also think that when those glasses came off during that little scuffle he had with Adam and Joe had to see the light for the first time since he was with his captors jolted his mind back there to that cabin.”

“Do you have any idea what we can do to help the boy?” Ben asked hopefully.

“He needs to get to that hospital for his leg, or like I told you the other day he’s going to be lame for life.  Maybe Doctor Peele can arrange for some special care?  I’m sure there are doctors on staff who help patients deal with trauma.  I know Joe had several doctors tend him years ago when he went through the morphine withdrawal.  It’s worth asking Harold, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that was my thought too,” Ben nodded.  “I’m going to wire him about getting a surgeon ready to try to heal Joe’s leg, and once I tell Harold about Joe’s emotional problems I’m sure he will be able to help with that too.”

Doctor Martin drew in a deep breath and pulled himself to standing.  “Let me go and see the boy, Ben.  Then, if you want to write the telegraph I’ll send it once I get back to town.   I want to send him my observations as well.”

Ben stood alongside of Paul and they moved towards the stairs together.  “I sure would appreciate that,” Ben replied.

“He hasn’t moved a muscle,” Hoss announced as his father and the Doc walked into the room and over to Joe’s bed.  He stood from the chair to give both men more room to examine his brother.

“You go on downstairs, Hoss.  I’ll let you know how it goes,” Ben called over to his son.  

“Okay, Pa, I’m glad to see you here, Doc,” Hoss replied and patted the doctor on the shoulder before he turned out of the bedroom

Ben reached down to his youngest and placed the palm of his hand on the boy’s left cheek.  He stroked Joe’s face gently and then whispered to Paul.  “If you could’ve heard him, Doc, he was vague about some things, and yet so descriptive about some of the other horrors inflicted on him.  Sitting there in the darkness I couldn’t even see the boy’s face, but I could feel his pain so intensely, just as though it had all happened to me.  He kept on pulling back the hammer of his gun and I’ve never felt so frightened in my life —so scared that he was going to shoot himself.”

Paul was just about to comment but he noticed that his patient was beginning to wake up.  Tossing is head side to side, and making a few moaning sounds, Joe finally woke back up.  He looked over to the side of the bed and saw both the doctor and his father staring intently over at him.

“Doc — Doc, when did you get here?” Joe whispered as he fought off the dullness from having been asleep for so long.

“Oh, not long, Joe,” Paul said and sent a smile down to the boy.  “Joe, how about I give you the once over?  Is that okay with you?”

Joe simply nodded, and unlike all the other times in the past two weeks, he cooperated fully this time.  Paul went about checking his patient over thoroughly.  He listened to his chest, checked on all of Joe’s wounds and then examined his broken left leg.

“Those wounds on your back are much better, Joe.  I don’t think your pa or I will have to put that medicine on them anymore.” Doc announced, trying to think of something positive to say.

“Bites,” Joe corrected.  “They happened in the light, bad things happen in the light.”

Ben and Paul exchanged apprehensive glances over what the boy had said. Both of them were surprised that Joe had admitted that the wounds, which both men had doctored over the last two weeks, were indeed bites.

“Do you want to tell us how they happened, Joe?” the doctor asked quietly.

Joe simply shook his head and then eased back under his covers.  He reached up with his left hand to make sure that his glasses were securely in place over his eyes.

“Your father and I are going to get in touch with your uncle, Joe.  Let’s see how soon you can get that surgery for your leg.  That way you won’t have the pain that you do now when you stand or walk,” Paul tried again to sound upbeat in order to try to ease the boy’s troubled mind.

“Do you know about the light, Doc?  Did Pa tell you?” Joe asked in a trembling whisper.

Paul sighed and looked over at Ben once more.  “Yes, Joe — your pa told me about it.  You don’t have to worry about that.  I’m sure Doctor Peele will make sure everything is just the way that you need it to be at the hospital.  He’ll keep you out of the light.”

“I can’t take these glasses off, Doc.  Please tell that to Adam and Hoss.   They wanted me to take them off and I can’t.”

Paul reached over and patted Joe’s shoulder softly and replied, “Joe that was my fault, not theirs.  I didn’t understand about the light, but I do now.  Your pa and your brothers all know that you need to use those glasses for now.  I don’t want you worrying about that anymore, okay?”

“There’s pain in the light,” Joe answered the doctor, and his face displayed his continuing worry and fear.

Ben neared the bed in order to assist Paul in trying to get through to the boy.  “Joseph, you don’t have to worry about the light anymore.  No-one is going to force you into the light.  You’re safe here, and you’re going to be safe in the hospital.”

“I – I think I want to sleep now, Pa,” Joe stuttered. His voice still displayed some of the terror which he had addressed in the barn earlier.   He pulled the covers up underneath his chin and closed his eyes.

“That’s fine, Son.  You go on and get some rest,” Pa nodded and ran his hand over his son’s head to offer him what little comfort that he could at the time.

“I’ll be back to see you real soon, Joe,” Paul whispered as he watched his patient fall off to sleep.  

Ben and the doctor walked out of the bedroom and stood there in the hallway to discuss Joe’s condition.

“Well?  Do you see how he is now, Paul?” Ben asked, worry painting his face.

“Yes, and I think we need to get word to Doctor Peele just as soon as we can.  Why don’t we both go and write those telegraphs, Ben?  Then I can get them sent off tonight.”

“Do you think I ought to keep one of us in there with Joe?  I don’t think he’d do anything, but then again, I didn’t think he’d do what he did this afternoon either.”

Paul shrugged his shoulders and responded, “I don’t know, Ben, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt any to have either you or one of your other boys stay in there with him.  I didn’t witness any anger in him, unlike before.  But, it appears to me that he’s a bit overwhelmed right now.  He seems so terrified of the light, and I doubt that’s going to go away any time soon.  I’m not happy about him wearing those glasses, even when he’s asleep.  But, it’s something he needs for his emotional well-being right now, so we won’t push him about it until he’s more stable.”

Ben nodded and replied, “I’ll make sure someone stays with him, Paul.  I’ve also told Adam and Hoss they’re not to even suggest that Joe take off his glasses.  They listened to the whole conversation that Joe and I had in the barn, so they’re very much aware of the boy’s fears.  Let’s go write those wires.”

The two men walked down the stairs and over to Ben’s study in order to compose both of the telegraphs which Doctor Martin would send off just as soon as he made it back into town.  Ben was confident that he would be hearing a response from Doctor Peele just as soon as he received the news of what had been going on with his nephew.

Late that night Hoss sat like a sentry there next to his little brother’s bed.  He had finally convinced his father to go on to bed, after he had spent several hours watching over the boy.  Hoss couldn’t shake all that he had heard Joe say to Pa in the barn earlier the previous day.  His heart hurt for his brother and all that he had gone through.  Yes, he knew that Joe had been very upset ever since he had been brought home, and Hoss had witnessed some of the cruelty which had been inflicted on him during his imprisonment.  But, it was now apparent that his brother’s mind had been injured almost as much as his body.  Hoss’ gut hurt when he thought about Joe’s story about the rat that he had made into a pet.  He couldn’t imagine how lonely the boy had been to have found comfort in that rodent.  Hoss also couldn’t imagine how someone could mercilessly take the rat and kill it in front of Joe and then actually cook it up and force his brother to eat it.  And, that had been but one example of the torture which had been afflicted on Little Joe.

“Hoss, is that you?” Joe whispered as his gaze fell upon the dark figure sitting in the chair next to the bed.

Reaching over to drop his hand onto his brother’s arm, Hoss answered, “Yeah, Joe, it’s me, I’m here.”

“You know about the darkness.  Pa said that you do, right?”

“Yeah, Little Joe, I know, don’t you worry none, I’ll stay here in the darkness with you as long as you want me to,” Hoss assured the boy.

Joe pulled himself up in the bed some and reached over for his water glass on the night stand.  He drank a few sips and then tried his best to see his brother’s face through the dark glasses that he had worn in bed.  Hoss was shaded by the lenses of Joe’s glasses, but he finally came into view.

“You heard everything said between Pa and me, didn’t you?”

Hoss nodded and responded quietly, “Yeah, Joe, I did.  I’m just so sorry that we didn’t understand about the light.  We all do now so nobody is going to bother you about those glasses anymore.”

“Then — you know about my leg, right?”

Hoss had to draw in a deep breath, as the very thought of what had been done to Joe was still tearing him up inside.  “Yes, Little Brother, I heard about it getting broken there in that cabin.”

Joe stared directly at his brother and whispered, “I got stomped, Hoss.  They stomped me — just like they stomped my rat.  It was bad Hoss, but bad things happen in the light.”

Hoss had to turn away from his brother for a few minutes as tears had formed in his eyes at the thought of what Joe had said.  He couldn’t fathom anyone being that cruel as to have hurt a defenseless boy like that and to actually break his leg in that fashion.  Hoss yearned to get his hands on the men who had tortured his little brother for months.  He wanted vengeance so badly that he could taste it.

Finally mopping at his eyes to blot his tears, Hoss turned back around to look at his brother.  “I’m so sorry, Short Shanks, I’m just so sorry.  Nobody’s ever gonna do something like that to you again, I promise!”

“Bad things happen in the light, Hoss.  I’ve just got to stay in the darkness and nobody can hurt me there,” Joe assured his brother.

Hoss didn’t know what to say to the boy.  He wished he had the right words to ease his mind, but he didn’t.  “I’ll find whoever stomped your leg, Joe I promise you that I will.  They’ll pay for all of the ways they hurt you, I swear they will!”

Joe shook his head sadly and pushed himself back down in the bed.  “Nobody can take my pain away, Hoss, not even if you kill them.  I’ll always have pain and I’ll always have to stay in the darkness.”

Hoss reached over and put his hand on his little brother’s arm in a show of support and to try and comfort the boy.  “It ain’t always gonna hurt, Joe.  Someday you won’t feel the pain and you won’t have to stay in the darkness.  You just need to believe that.”

“No, Hoss,” Joe called out sadly.  “If you knew what all they did to me you’d understand that there’s no going back into the light.  There’s pain in the light, and it’s always going to be there.  I’m going to go back to sleep now.  Goodnight, Hoss.”

“Goodnight, Joe,” Hoss replied, and was glad his brother had rolled onto his side facing away from him.  He wouldn’t have wanted Little Joe to see the tears which were now streaking down his face.  “God please help my brother,” Hoss whispered his prayer and sank back down in the chair.

Daylight shone in through the gingham curtains in Little Joe’s room.  Adam stood and pulled down the window shade, hoping that the additional light could be hidden underneath it.  He had traded places with Hoss around six a.m., sending his brother into his own room to get some sleep.

Taking a seat back down in the chair, Adam noticed his youngest brother was beginning to stir in bed.  He didn’t know how Joe would react to his presence, so he braced for the worst.

Joe’s first reaction upon waking was to make sure that his glasses were there over his eyes.  Once assured that they were still there in place, he opened his eyes.  Joe was surprised to see his oldest brother sitting in the chair where Hoss had been earlier.

“Joe — hey did you sleep well?” 

Joe shot a cautious stare over towards Adam.  He didn’t know what to say to him.

Adam, seeing his brother’s apparent uneasiness, reached to the night stand and brought over a cup of coffee which Hop Sing had placed there just a few minutes earlier.  “Joe, would you like some coffee?”

Joe turned introspective for a few minutes, trying to remember if he was still mad at his brother or not.  Finally he reached a shaky hand over to retrieve the coffee cup.  “Thanks,” Joe nodded, still not looking into his brother’s eyes.

Adam felt very relieved that at the very least Joe hadn’t turned away from him.

“Hop Sing was getting ready to bring up your breakfast.  Are you hungry?”

Joe knew he couldn’t eat breakfast in front of any of his family members, not any more.  He had tried to fall back into the usual table manners, but for some unknown reason, he just couldn’t do it.  Joe still desired to eat alone and in the manner in which he had done for three straight months.  He didn’t want them to see him eating with his hands, nor scarfing down the food as though it was going to be taken away from him at any moment.

“Not really,” Joe responded quietly.

The door to the bedroom opened and both brothers looked over and saw Pa entering carrying a tray in with him.

“Good morning, Boys,” Ben fought to sound cheery.  “Adam, your breakfast is on the table so you go on and eat.  I’ll sit here with your brother awhile.”

“Okay, Pa,” Adam said as he stood from the chair.  “You try to eat, Little Joe, you need to get your strength back.  I’ll see you later, okay?”

Joe nodded over to his brother, though words still would not come.  He tried to reconnoiter whether Adam was being sincere in his concern or whether he was simply trying to placate him to avoid another incident like had happened the previous day.

Pa hadn’t missed the looks which had gone back and forth between both his eldest and youngest sons.  He had hoped that Joseph would come to accept that Adam hadn’t been the reason why he had been left behind there at the Hilliard ranch over three months ago.  

“Here you are, Joseph, Hop Sing made you something special today,” Ben sang out, trying to sound light-hearted as he set the tray down into his son’s lap.

Joe froze.   He was consumed by the fear that his father would insist on sitting there next to him as he ate his food.  Fumbling with his coffee cup, he set it back on the night stand before he looked over the contents of his breakfast tray.  Ben watched and waited for Joe to notice what the cook had sent up. Finally, while his mind searched for a reason why he wasn’t ready to eat, Joe’s eyes fell onto the plate.

“Hop Sing wanted to try something a bit different for all of us today,” Ben paused as he watched his son look down at the food.  Instead of the normal bacon, eggs, and toast, there was a sandwich.  “I think he decided that putting the eggs and bacon on the toast would save on him having to wash so many dishes.”

Joe drew in a deep breath, so relieved to see that he wouldn’t have to disguise his method of eating, at least not this time.  “It looks good, Pa,” Joe nodded and drew up half of the sandwich.  “You don’t have to sit here with me.  Go on down and eat your breakfast.”

“Oh I ate a while ago, Son.  How did you sleep?”

“I did okay,” Joe lied.  He had awakened many times, though most of those were fortunately during times where Hoss had been sleeping in the chair next to the bed.

Ben hadn’t missed the dark circles that were around his son’s eyes, so he knew that Joe was trying to avoid the truth of the matter.  “I’m pretty sure we’ll be hearing from your Uncle Harold later today and then we can arrange to go to San Francisco to get that leg of yours better.”

Joe ate half of his sandwich and then leaned back against the pillows.  His stomach churned over the idea of going anywhere.  Pa couldn’t see his son’s eyes due to the dark glasses, but, it was easy for him to read what the boy was feeling by just observing his posture.  Joe looked rigid as he pushed himself back against the headboard.  And there was an appearance of panic all over his face, though Joe had tried to hide it.

“Joe, just like I told you yesterday, everything is going to be okay.  I’ll make sure that you’re not in the light on the way to the hospital, while we’re both there and on our return trip.  Now, please go ahead and try to eat.  Like your brother said a few minutes ago, you’re going to need your strength to get through that surgery.”

“I’m trying, Pa — I’m trying my best,” Joe whispered and fought back tears.  He was, in fact, terrified of going anywhere.

“I know it’s hard, Joseph — I’m not getting after you – I just want you to get better,” Pa tried to sound more understanding.  “Can you manage just a little more?”

Joe once again drew in a breath and reached for the other half of the sandwich.  He didn’t want to seem ungrateful for all the efforts which his family had shown towards him.  Joe suspected that somehow someone, probably his father, had learned about his rather bizarre eating habits and had come up with the breakfast sandwich so he wouldn’t be embarrassed.

Ben sat patiently as his son made another attempt at finishing his meal.   “Good job, Son,” he smiled, as he drew the tray off of the bed.  Joe had eaten most of his sandwich.  It was a very small victory, but a victory nonetheless.  “Can I bring you up some more coffee?”

Joe shook his head and pushed himself back down in the bed.  “I think I want to sleep, Pa,” he replied.  Joe was beginning to think of sleep as being his only refuge from reality now.  And, even in slumber, he had to deal with visions of his tormentors.  Still, at least it afforded him time away from prying eyes and too many questions.

“That’s fine, Son.  You go ahead and get some more rest and I’ll be back up later.  Maybe I’ll have word from Harold by then?”

Joe nodded again towards his father and then checked the placement of his eyeglasses before rolling onto his side.  Ben stood there in the doorway shaking his head full of concern over his son’s condition.

 

Doctor Harold Peele sat behind the desk in his office at the Saint Francis Hospital in San Francisco.  He had read the two telegraphs from Ben Cartwright and Doctor Paul Martin; both men he knew very well.  Harold removed his eyeglasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.  He was very upset to hear about his nephew, Joseph Cartwright.  Reaching behind him to a shelf situated there, he drew the picture of his late son, Daniel, into his hands.  It had been quite a few years since he had learned that Daniel and Joseph were first cousins.  That information had come from an odd source.  Apparently Joe had seen Daniel’s spirit while he was in critical condition there at the hospital after being stabbed.  Joe had tried to keep a violent patient from hurting a nurse, Jessica Hastings, and in doing so, the boy had gotten stabbed.  While he had lingered in perhaps the throes of death, Joe had spoken to the vision of Daniel.  Harold’s son had told Joe about a letter he had put inside his Bible intended for his father to find after his death.  He never would have found that important farewell that his son had left had it not been for Joe, who, once he had regained consciousness told the doctor where it was.  On top of that information, Daniel had told Joe to let his father know where to find a locket so he could show it to Ben Cartwright.  Ben had gone along with the doctor to his house and the two men had found the letter as well as the locket.  Inside that locket were pictures of two sisters; one being Harold’s late wife and the other one being Joe’s mother, Marie Cartwright.  The pieces fit perfectly together, once Ben had told Harold who that other woman was.  It all had made sense.  Harold had seen the resemblance of Daniel in Joe, when the boy had come to the hospital for assistance in morphine withdrawal.  From that time forward, Harold had grown very fond of Joe, and considered him his nephew.

Now, Harold was worried over the troubling information he had read in both wires from Ben and Paul.  He had no idea that Joe had gone missing and that it had taken so long to recover the boy.  From their descriptions, both men were extremely worried because Joe had sustained a very badly broken leg which would require surgery.  They also had said that Joseph had deep emotional trauma which had been caused by the men who had held the boy captive.  Harold Peele grabbed his pen and began to compose wires to both Ben and Doctor Martin.  He would do everything in his power to help the young man, and his father as well.   Doctor Peele had recently received a promotion to Chief of Staff along with his joint position as Director of the Board of Physicians there at the hospital, and he would pull every string possible in order to assist in helping his nephew.  He hurriedly composed both telegraphs and gave them to his aide to get sent immediately. 

 

“Here, Pa,” Adam said, and handed his father the message he had picked up there at the telegraph office in Virginia City.  “I already saw Doc and he also got a reply from Doctor Peele.  He said he’s going to write a letter for you to hand deliver to Harold that will help him understand what Joe’s going through and the condition that he was found in there in Littleton.  Doc thinks it will help the doctors there at the hospital diagnose Joe in order to try to heal him.”

Ben leaned back in his chair at the desk and anxiously read the message.  He smiled for the first time in a long while.  “Harold is setting everything up, Adam.  He’s already chosen a very qualified surgeon to fix your brother’s leg, and he’s lining up another doctor to try to help with Joe’s emotional trauma.”

“That’s great!  It’s nice to have relatives with clout, huh?” Adam returned his father’s smile.

Ben nodded and stood from his desk.  I’ll go into town tomorrow to make the travel arrangements.  It’s going to require some doing to accommodate Joseph’s needs, but I’m going to somehow work it all out.”

“Are you going to let Joe know?”

“Not until I have everything set, Son.  We’ve got to ease him into all of this, he’s still very fearful of going anywhere.  I’ll tell him just as soon as we have made all of the arrangements.”

Adam turned with his father to head into the kitchen where Hoss was assisting Hop Sing with getting Joe’s dinner tray ready.  They had good news to tell both him and Hop Sing, and Adam wanted to be there to see their reaction.

 

It had taken some serious wangling in order to garner the assistance of the Overland Stage Manager to acquire a stage and also a driver who was willing to leave Virginia City in the dark on the first leg of the trip to San Francisco.  But, when Ben Cartwright put his mind to something he was a force to be reckoned with.  Three days after receiving Doctor Peele’s wire, all four Cartwrights stood outside the Overland Stage Depot as Ben and Joe readied to depart for the hospital.  Doctor Paul Martin had shown up as well in order to give Ben the letter for Harold and to see both of the Cartwrights off.

“Here you are, Ben,” Paul said and handed his long letter over to the man.

“Thanks, Doc,” Ben nodded gratefully and placed the letter inside his coat.

“As for you, Young Man,” Doc began as he addressed Little Joe.  “I know you won’t give those doctors in San Francisco any trouble — unlike the way you’ve always acted to me!” Paul smiled and gave his patient a reassuring pat to his shoulder.

Joe nervously looked over at Doc and nodded.  He was still just as frightened, or more so now that he was leaving his familiar surroundings for the first time since he had been held captive.

Ben pulled Paul aside and spoke to him quietly, “Thank you for that medicine, Paul.  I had a heck of a time with Joseph before we left.”

Doc patted Ben’s shoulder and replied, “It’s just a mild sedative, Ben, but it should help you with the boy until you get to the hospital.  I know the poor kid is afraid.”

“I just gave him one right before we got here.”

Paul nodded and replied, “That should do it the boy will be out by the time you get ten miles down the road, Ben.  Now be sure to wire me when Joe gets through surgery, okay?”

Ben shook the doctor’s hand and returned, “I will, and I’ll also let you know about the other situation.”

“We’re boarding in a few minutes, Mister Cartwright,” the stage manager sang out.

Paul walked back towards his office after waving one final goodbye to the Cartwrights.

“It’s all going to be fine, Little Brother,” Hoss said and patted Joe’s shoulder.

Joe pulled Hoss over to the side and gave him a brief hug, which surprised the big man.  “Hoss — Pa said they’re not going to stomp me to fix my leg — so don’t worry.”

That had done it!  Hoss had to fight back tears at what the boy had said, and the words he had used.  Somehow Joe must’ve known that his story of getting stomped had torn his big brother up, and now he was trying his best to reassure him that it wasn’t going to happen again.

“I know they ain’t gonna hurt you, Little Brother,” Hoss replied and returned his brother’s hug.

“And, Hoss, you can tell Adam that I’m not mad at him anymore.  I was just worried that he was trying to force me into the light — and you know I can’t be in the light anymore.”

“How about you tell me yourself?” Adam came up from behind his other two brothers to face Joe.

Joe looked down at the sidewalk for a minute and then back up over at his brother and said, “Adam, I’m not mad at you.  I – I just wanted you to know that in case anything happens.”

Adam reached over and pulled his little brother close to him and gave him a quick hug.  He knew the boy was terrified, and yet Joe wanted Adam to know how he felt before leaving and heading into the unknown.  “Nothing’s going to happen to you, Kid — nothing but getting that leg fixed.  Now you do what you’re supposed to do there at the hospital and you’ll be back pestering me and Hoss in no time!”

Ben walked over to his three sons after he had witnessed their goodbyes.  Pa’s eyes misted up a bit to see the love that existed between those boys of his.  In spite of the differences that popped up during the years, he knew that all three brothers had a tight unbreakable bond, and it was never more apparent than when one of them was injured.  Now both Hoss and Adam had closed rank and tried to ease their little brother’s mind about the trip and the surgery that lay ahead.

“Climb on up, Joseph,” Ben called and grabbed the boy’s elbow to steady him.  

Joe made it inside the stagecoach and Ben handed him his cane.  Then it was time for Pa to tell his other sons goodbye.

“I know you boys will take care of things.  I’ll wire you as soon as we get into San Francisco,” Ben said, and one by one gave each son a quick hug.

“We will be fine, Pa.  Just take care of yourself and Joe,” Adam smiled.

“Yeah, Pa, we’ll keep each other busy with chores until you get home,” Hoss nodded and patted his father on the back as he turned to climb up into the stagecoach.

Ben settled on the seat alongside of Joe and waved goodbye to his two sons as the driver sent the team forward.

Even in the retreating light as the stage turned down the main street in town, Pa could tell that his son was frightened.   “Joseph?  Why don’t you hand me your glasses for a bit?  The trail is going to get very bumpy until we get closer to California and we wouldn’t want them to fly off, right?”

Joe stared over at his father, anxiety written all over the boy’s face.  “They’re okay on me for now, Pa.  I’m not tired so I won’t let them fall off.”

Ben settled back and decided not to press his son about his glasses for a while, at least not until the medicine finally kicked in.  He closed his eyes and thought on the trip that lay ahead of them.  It had been a challenge to acquire the stage for that night, and he hoped that by starting out in the darkness it would help Joseph feel a little more at ease.  Thus far it didn’t seem to be working.  Ben’s mind played out everything that would need to be accomplished in the weeks and perhaps months ahead.  Firstly, there was the matter of surgery to repair Joseph’s leg, and then hopefully there would be a doctor who could help the boy with his emotional issues.  Ben prayed that by the time they were ready to head back to the Ponderosa that one or both of those problems would be on their way to being resolved.  He cast another glance over towards Joseph and noticed that he had his hands held up over his face.  Pa knew in his heart that it was going to take more than just a few sessions with some doctor to heal his son’s mind.  Joseph had major problems, and Ben was starting to come to the realization that it might take months or even years before his son would somehow resume his former life.

The creaking of the wood of the stagecoach, the sounds of the hoof-beats of horses, along with the call of the driver to his team formed a strange cacophony as the minutes turned to hours.   The full moon cast a soft glow into the stagecoach allowing Ben to observe the fact that his son was still awake.  He concluded that Joseph had been so worried that his body was fighting the sedative which he had given the boy two hours prior to starting their journey.  Reaching for the canteen Ben called over to Joe.

“Like a drink?” 

Joe just shook his head and dropped his eyes down to the floor of the stagecoach.

Sighing, Ben leaned back again and thought on the next problem.  Though his main concern was for getting Joe’s leg fixed, and helping the boy work through his emotional problems, there was something else bothering the weary father.  He had spoken of it several times in the past few weeks to his older two boys; the need for justice.  Ben hoped that once they made it home in a few weeks that it would then be time to track down all of those responsible for hurting Joseph.  ***Hurting? *** Ben thought to himself, and his mouth formed a scowl, which he was glad that his son couldn’t see at the time.  ***No, hurt was far too mild a term.  Torture — yes, that was the correct term!  And, by the Almighty I’ll find every single person who tortured my boy and then they’ll all know what true justice entails! *** Ben vowed to himself.

“Pa?” Joe called out softly.

Ben had to shake himself from his thoughts and remove the frown that had been deeply etched on his face due to his musings. “Yes, Son, what is it?”

“I think you can hold these for a little while now,” Joe replied and carefully removed his glasses and held them out to his father.

Pa smiled and slid over closer to his son and retrieved the eyeglasses.  He carefully folded and placed them inside of his coat.  “I promise that at daybreak I’ll give them back to you, Joseph.  And, if you happen to be asleep — well – I’ll even put them on you.”

“Okay.  I’m getting a little bit tired, Pa,” Joe admitted.

Ben draped his arm across his son’s shoulders and pulled him closer.  “Why don’t you just kind of lean back on my shoulder?  Maybe it will help you – and maybe it will help me get drowsy too?”

Joe dropped his head down a bit until it rested on his father’s left shoulder.  He didn’t say anything for a long while, so Pa had assumed that he had finally allowed the medicine to take effect and had fallen to sleep.  It had been almost a full thirty minutes and then Ben heard the whispered voice of his youngest.

“Pa?”  Joe called as he sat back up.

“Yes, Joseph?”

“Pa?  What will happen — what’s going to happen if,” Joe stopped speaking as his words grew louder and were suddenly filled with both fear and despair.

“What is it, Son?” Ben urged the boy out with whatever was preventing him from falling to sleep.  He hadn’t missed the anxiety-laden resonance in his son’s voice as he sought to find the right words to say.

“What’s going to happen, Pa — what’s going to happen if I can never handle being in the light again?  What’s going to happen then?” Joe finally choked out one of his many fears.  He desperately needed an answer from his father this time.  The thought of what his future might hold had him terrified.  There were just too many fears all of the time, and he was finding them to be overwhelming.  “I need to know the truth, Pa.  What if I can NEVER handle being in the light?”

Ben stared down at his son and replied confidently, “Well, if that’s the case, Joseph, then I promise you that we’ll just find you a new light.”

Looking down at his youngest, who now was fast asleep against his shoulder, Ben prayed that he could keep the promise which he had just made.  But, he knew that Joseph would first have to deal with what had happened in the light up at the cabin.  This time, however, Pa vowed that his son would not have to face up to it alone.

 

The End

3/12/2025

By:  Wrangler

{This one is dedicated to my story consultant, Rob, for listening to the “rat scene” far too many times!}

 Note from the author:  This is the first of a two part series and will conclude with part two:  “A New Light”

***Storylines in this one can be found in the two series Whatever It Takes and Every Purpose Under Heaven ***