Summary: The Cartwrights go after the Dalton brothers and Joe struggles to face the horrors done to him in the cabin in order to leave the darkness and come into A New Light.

Rating:  MA (graphic violence and adult subject matter)

Word Count:  56,939

Stay in the Darkness Series:

Stay in the Darkness
A New Light
Chiaroscuro
The Sound of Surviving

 

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The tree that never had to fight, for sun and sky and air and light,

But stood out in the open plain, and always got its share of rain,

Never became a forest king but lived and died a scrubby thing.

The man who never had to toil, to gain and farm his patch of soil,

Who never had to win his share, of sun and sky and light and air,

Never became a manly man, but lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger wind, the stronger trees,

The further sky, the greater length, the more the storm the more the strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow, in trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest lies the forest growth, we find the patriarchs of both.

And they hold counsel with the stars, whose broken branches show the scars.

Of many winds and much of strife, this is the common law of life.

–“Good Timber,” by Douglas Malloch

 

A New Light

The barn was dark and foreboding as Ben reached for the newly filled shot glass which his son had sailed across the rough wooden table at him.  He shakily lifted the drink up to his mouth, and at Joe’s insistence, he took a sip of the rot-gut.

“Drink your whiskey, Pa!” The shout from across the table sang out the order.

Ben could not see the boy’s face, due to it being pitch black in the back of the barn, but he knew that Joe was serious in all of his threats.  Hearing the metallic clicking of his son’s Colt revolver filled the terrified father’s heart with dread.

“I’m drinking, Joseph!”  He replied anxiously.

“Am I crazy NOW, Pa?”

“No, Son, you’ve just been hurt so badly, and you’re just not thinking straight right now.  Ease that hammer down, Joseph.   You don’t want that gun to go off.”

“Don’t go up there, Pa.  There’s pain in the light.  Stay in the darkness, you’ll be safe there,” Joe repeated the same three sentences over and over again.

Ben attempted to reach over for his son, even though he was obscured due to the total absence of light.  He wanted to take the gun away from the boy before he accidently fired the pistol.  But, he was never able to find either Joe’s hand or his weapon due to the darkness which created the biggest obstacle.

“Joseph, it’s going to be okay.  Now just un-cock that hammer, and ease it down please,” Pa tried his best to sound calm, though he felt anything but that at the present.

“Pa, my hands were tied in front of me this time, not behind me like the last time.  But, wait, did I tell you that already?”

“Yes, Son, you did.  Now ease that hammer down.  Then I want you to hand that gun over to me.”

“You think that I’m crazy!  I know you do!”  Joe yelled accusingly at his father and then lifted his weapon higher.

“No, Joseph —- I don’t think that you are crazy.  You’re just very troubled — due to all that you went through up at that cabin.  I know those men hurt you — hurt you very badly.  Now please ease that hammer down before there’s an accident.  It’s too dark in here, Son, and it could go off even if you’re not trying to do it,” Ben continued to plead with his youngest.

“Ease the hammer down before there’s an accident?” Joe questioned, repeating his father’s words.  “No, Pa, there won’t be an accident.  Are you drinking your whiskey, Pa?  If you want to hear this you have to drink!”  Joe reached over and retrieved the shot glass.  He refilled it quickly and shoved it back over in the direction of his father’s voice.

“I’ll drink as soon as you ease that hammer down and set your gun on the table.”

“Not this time, Pa.  There’s pain in the light and I’m never going to go up there again!”  Joe shouted.

The resounding blast from Joe’s Colt filled the barn.  Ben sprang from his chair and reached across the table to where his son had been.  Before he could find the boy, Pa heard a thud as Joe’s body fell from his chair and landed on the hay covered floor.

“Joseph!”  Ben screamed out in terror.

“Pa?” Joe whispered as he reached over and shook his father’s shoulder.  “Pa, are you okay?”

Ben gasped loudly and grabbed his son’s hand, holding onto it fiercely.  It was Joseph and he was alive!  Ben’s eyes searched the boy’s face and then surveyed the interior of the stagecoach.  Fighting to catch his breath, Pa stared again over at his son sitting there next to him.  It had all been a nightmare, and only parts of it had been real.  Ben remembered, days earlier, when both Joseph and he had sat there in the darkened barn.  The boy had indeed sent over a shot glass full of whiskey to him and he had demanded that his pa drink it.  Joseph had done that several times and always with the same urgency for his pa to drink the liquor before he would talk to him.  Joe also had held his Colt revolver in his hand and had cocked the hammer numerous times.  As his son recounted some of the horrible details of what had been done to him during his three months held in captivity, Ben had been terrified that the weapon would go off.  Thus, the nightmare had been a partial rehashing of events which had been only too real.  Fortunately, Pa had been able to talk Joe into handing his gun over to him before there had been a terrible accident.

“Sorry, Joseph, I guess I was having a bad dream,” Pa apologized to his son. He then attempted to send over a convincing smile to the boy, in order to hide the awful details of what he had just experienced.

Joe frowned and shook his head.  “Pa, I know all about nightmares.  You didn’t just have a bad dream.  You had a nightmare, there is a difference.  I know.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Ben chose to change the subject.

“Yeah,” Joe nodded, and straightened the dark glasses which had slipped down from the bridge of his nose.  “I did okay until the light came up.  I had to dig my glasses out of your coat pocket.  You said you’d give them to me by daybreak again, but you were out of it.”

“I’m sorry, Son,” Ben once more apologized.  He had planned on making sure that Joe had those glasses on even if he was still asleep.  The boy must have been in a real panic when he woke in time for the light to shine through the stage coach windows.  “Well, we should be in to San Francisco in just a few hours.  I can already smell the sea air.”

Joe leaned back against the hard non-cushioned wooden seat and his face filled with apprehension.   He was afraid of a lot of things, and all due to the months he had been held against his will in the root cellar of a cabin.  Joe had found his only refuge to be in the darkness which the cellar had offered, whereas the light of the cabin brought non-stop horrors.  He could still hear the voices of the two men who held him captive and could feel and remember vividly all the ways they had tortured his body and mind.

Ben noticed how Joseph had grown suddenly quiet and watched as his body became rigid as he leaned back.  He knew that his son had been transported again into the torment he had endured for so long.  Ben prayed that Doctor Harold Peele would be able to assist his nephew by trying to glean all of the details of what Joe had endured in order to help the boy.  Joe had only revealed a few things to his Pa during the painful confrontation there in the barn several days ago.  But Ben knew that there were far more horrendous methods of torture which his son had gone through there in that cabin.  Both he and Doctor Paul Martin had observed signs of abuse which could best be considered sadistic in nature.  Ben had felt helpless to address those particular incidents, but he had hope that Doctor Peele would find a well-qualified doctor who could help Joseph to finally divulge all that had been done to him.  On top of the emotional effects of all of that, Joe also had a very badly broken leg which had been caused by the evil men who had imprisoned him.  Doctor Peele had sent wires to Ben and Doctor Paul Martin, and had assured them both that he had found a very qualified surgeon who would, hopefully, repair the damage to his son’s leg.

“Here, Joe,” Ben called and handed the boy the canteen.  “Drink some of this.  We should be stopping one more time before we reach the hospital and we’ll get something to eat there.”

Joe took a few sips of the lukewarm water and then passed it back to his father.  Ben noticed that the boy leaned forward and put both of his hands over his face.  He was well aware of the fact that Joe was scared about going to the hospital and was worried about whether his dark glasses would shield him from the light there.

“Your uncle will make sure you’re comfortable, Joseph.  You don’t have anything to worry about.  We’ll get that leg of yours fixed and then we’ll soon be home,” Ben tried his best to sound confident in order to keep Joe from panicking.  He placed his arm around the boy’s shoulder and hoped that Joseph would find comfort in his touch.  Joe had resisted any help from his father for the two weeks since he had been rescued and brought back home from the remote town of Littleton, and from the secluded cabin where he had spent his captivity.  He had been under the wrong conclusion that his pa had left him months ago and had chosen to simply ride away with his brother Adam.  It was only after his agonizing conversation with his father there in the darkness of the barn, that Joe learned the facts of what had happened that day over three months ago.  Preston Hilliard had gotten both Ben and Adam to his ranch under false pretenses about signing over water rights to the Cartwrights.  Once they arrived, a known gunslinger, J.T. Bridger had come out of the house unexpectedly and had drawn down on Adam.  Adam was fast, but J.T. was much faster.  Adam ended up with a hole in his side, but his bullet had missed hitting J.T…  Preston had told Ben to leave with his son and get him to the doctor’s office in Virginia City.  Ben had gotten Adam onto his horse and had started out of the Hilliard ranch when Preston shouted for him to turn around.  It was then that Ben had seen Joseph lying unconscious at the threshold of Preston’s house and both Hilliard and J.T. had their guns pointed at Joe’s head.  Preston warned that if Ben didn’t leave right then that Joseph would be killed.  Ben had no other choice, and had done as he was ordered and had left for town.  But, he had sent Sheriff Roy Coffee right out to the Hilliard ranch once he had gotten Adam to Doc’s to tend his wound.  It had been a cat and mouse game.  And somehow Preston must have gotten a hold of the two evil men in the interim and they had taken Joe to the cabin in Littleton which was over a day and a half’s journey away.  On top of that, Ben learned from Joseph that he had returned to consciousness just in time to see his father and his brother leaving.  Joe had felt that Pa had simply rode off with Adam and left him there in the hands of the maniacs who had taken him away and tortured him for months.

So, now, after two straight weeks of Joe not letting his father get anywhere near him, Ben was so relieved that his youngest had allowed him to tell him exactly why he had left the Hilliard ranch without him.  That information was the reason why Joe had stopped being angry at both his father and Adam.  The catalyst to learning the truth of the matter had happened due to a scuffle with his eldest brother, when Adam had inadvertently knocked off Joe’s dark glasses.  And once the sunlight had hit him, Joe was forced to hide in the barn and later revealed to his Pa the horrors which existed in light of any kind.  Now his family, along with the two doctors, Peele and Martin, knew that they had to do everything in their power to keep Joseph from dealing with light.  Joe had insisted to all who would listen that there was indeed pain in the light.  Doctor Martin had assisted in helping the frightened young man by giving him the dark shaded glasses to wear to keep the light at bay.  And now, Joe wouldn’t even go to sleep unless those glasses were on him.  He had only taken them off twice, and both of those times were in the stagecoach which he and his father were now passengers as they headed to the hospital in San Francisco where his uncle was the Chief of Staff.  Ben had kept up with the glasses to help his son, and it was only that one occasion where he had not awakened in time to put them on the boy.

“I’m scared, Pa,” Joe whispered and pulled his hands back down from his face.

“It’s okay to be scared, Joe.  All of us are scared of something, you know?  But, once you talk to Doctor Peele, well, I’m sure you’ll see that he’s got everything set for you.  Now you just try to relax, we ought to be to the next way station in just a little while,” Ben tried his best to get his son to settle back and not worry.

**********

Doctor Harold Peele strode briskly down one of the long corridors of the St. Francis Hospital, as he hurried to meet his guests.  He had been advised by his manservant, Robert Weems, that both Ben and Joe Cartwright had arrived at the stage depot and that he had shepherded them to the hospital where they now waited at the admissions office.  Harold wasted no time to meet up with his nephew and his father, and was soon staring over at the two men.  Joe’s appearance had thrown the good doctor for a loop.  If it hadn’t been for the fact that the young man was standing next to the very recognizable features of Ben Cartwright, Harold would never have guessed the boy was Joe.  He was so very thin and those dark abundant curls Joseph was very well known for were gone.  Harold also hadn’t missed the way that the boy leaned heavily on the cane there at his side along with the dark colored glasses perched on his nose.  Doctor Peele had tried to pretend that Joe’s appearance had not shocked him, so he put on his most convincing smile and walked over to the two Cartwrights.

“Ben!  Joseph!  How good it is to see you!” Harold sang out and offered Ben his out-stretched hand and settled for a brief pat to Joe’s shoulder.

“Harold, thank you so much for getting back to us so quickly,” Ben smiled and then looked over at Joe.  The boy seemed very distracted.

“Hi, Uncle,” Joe nodded towards the doctor, shaking himself from his thoughts.

“Never mind all of this paperwork nonsense, Ben.  We can get that done later.  I’ll get an orderly to bring your bags.  Let me show you both to your room,” Harold insisted and turned back down the hallway.  He made sure to slow his pace, seeing that Joseph was having issues with his leg at the time.

Before long Harold opened a door to a room which sat just off from his personal office and bid both men inside.  Once Joe walked into the room, Harold looked directly over at Ben and nodded to let him know he was well aware of the light problem and how it had a negative effect on his nephew.  Ben noticed the two kerosene lanterns on either side of the small room were both turned down to half wick.  He smiled over at Harold and whispered a thank you to the man.

“Well, since I don’t happen to be using this room right now, I had it fixed up for the two of you.  I figured you both would be much more comfortable in a room together, and it will save your father some steps once you’ve had the surgery on your leg, Joseph.”

“Thank you,” Joe replied and tried his best not to show how ill at ease he was feeling to be in the hospital.

“I do need to speak to your pa, Joe.  It won’t take too long, but in the meanwhile I’ve got an old friend of yours who really wanted to see you.  So maybe the two of you can talk for just a bit while Ben and I get all that dull paperwork tended to?”

Joe looked over at the doctor confusion painting his face.   He had no idea who would want to see him.  Harold opened the door and signaled Nurse Hastings into the room.

“You remember Nurse Hastings don’t you, Ben?” Harold said.

“Yes, of course.  How nice to see you,” Ben nodded to the nurse as she headed over to see his son.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Cartwright! Joe, it’s been far too long since I’ve laid eyes on you!” The woman exclaimed and walked over to the young man seated on the bed.  It had been Joe Cartwright who had saved the nurse several years ago from a violent patient who had wielded a scalpel.  The boy had taken a large gash to his abdomen in order to keep the woman safe.  Nurse Hastings looked over at Joe now and her heart went out to him.  Doctor Peele had informed her prior to his arrival that he was in bad shape and needed a lot of help.

“Hi.  How are you?” Joe responded.

“Just fine,” She said, and turned briefly and smiled over at Harold and nodded his way to let the doctor know that she had the situation well in hand.

“Be right back, Joseph,” Ben called and walked out of the room along with Harold.

**************

Harold poured a cup of coffee and handed it over to his friend.  He could read the worry all over Ben’s troubled face.

“Oh, Paul sent you this,” Ben remarked and drew out the letter and handed it over to the doctor.

Harold pointed for Ben to take a seat as he moved behind his desk and grabbed his eyeglasses and also sat down.  “You wouldn’t mind if I take a minute to read this, Ben?”

“No, of course I won’t.  I want you to know everything before I fill you in with my own opinion.”

Harold nodded and began to read Doctor Martin’s lengthy letter regarding Joe’s condition.  By the time he was done with the letter Harold wore a tired frown on his face.

“The poor kid has really been through the mill this time, hasn’t he?”

Ben drew in a deep breath before replying.  “Yes, Harold, and that’s saying the very least.”

“You know, Ben, I hardly recognized Joe a minute ago there at admissions.  I can understand why he’s so thin and why he’s got that cane and those glasses.  But, why the short hair cut?  I’ve never seen Joe without long hair.”

Ben shook his head, so bereft by all that had gone on in the past three months that he was finding it almost impossible to explain.  “Joseph’s hair was long and all matted up when he was found.  He was kept in that filthy root cellar for so long.  So, when he got home he insisted that Hop Sing cut all of his hair off.  And you know how Joe is about his hair!  It’s just another sign of his depression I’m afraid.”

Harold sighed wearily and answered, “Paul has given me a lot of information which should help in understanding all that we’re dealing with now.  I set up that room because I know he needs you to be with him, and any other patient room will have far too much light inside of it.  This way, other than when the nurses or doctors have to examine Joe, we can keep those wicks down low.”

“I sure do appreciate that, Harold.  The boy won’t even take those glasses off while he’s asleep or even in a bath.  He’s terrified of the light due to what happened to him up in that cabin.”

“Paul seems to think there was a lot of abuse done to the boy.  Has Joe talked to you about it at all?”

“I never read Doc’s letter — did he happen to mention what happened in the barn a few days ago?”

Harold nodded and replied, “Oh yes, it’s all in there, Ben.  It had to be terrifying for you — not knowing if Joe was going to shoot himself.”

“Yes, it was,” Ben nodded and stood up and began pacing.  “Joseph has been through the unimaginable and I’m afraid we’re going to have to find someone to pull it out of him.  He only told me a few things that happened —- like how his leg got busted by those two evil men.  But, as far as what happened up in the light of that cabin that has him so fearful — well — it’s something that he just can’t talk about.  All he could say is they kept on hurting him.”

Harold could see the anxiety on his friend’s face and he reached over and patted the man’s shoulder and offered, “I’ve got someone in mind that just might be able to help Joseph to open up a bit.  But, first of all, we need to get him seen by a surgeon about his leg.  I want to get it scheduled just as soon as possible.”

“I’m sure you’ve chosen the best one you know, I’m not worried about that.  But, I hope that we can get all of the doctors to understand that my son has serious emotional issues.”

Harold stood and smiled down at Ben and replied, “That’s already been taken care of, Ben.  Everyone knows my nephew has been admitted, and they know about his aversion to the light.  So, don’t worry.  Now, I’m going to let you meet the surgeon, Scott Richards, now and then we’ll take him in to see Joe.”

A short while after Ben had been introduced to the surgeon who would be operating on his son’s leg the next day, he returned to the room where Joe waited.  Nurse Hastings stood from her chair and told Joe that she would be back to visit him after his surgery and then left to go back on duty.

“How are you doing, Joseph?” Ben asked, sitting down next to his son’s bed.

Joe shrugged his shoulders and frowned.  “Another nurse came in and wanted me to get changed into a hospital gown.  I’m not too keen on that.”

Ben smiled and shook his head before replying.  “Remember what Doc Martin said about not giving anyone any trouble here.  The sooner we get the surgery over the sooner we can get home.”

There was a knock on the door and in walked Doctor Peele along with the surgeon.

“Joe, this is a very good surgeon, Doctor Scott Richards, he’s going to take a look at your leg,” Harold called over to the boy.

The surgeon walked over to the bed and shook both Ben and Joe’s hands and then called down to his new patient.  “Just ease back on the bed, Joe.  Let me have a look at that leg of yours.”

Joe drew in a deep breath and then noticed that the surgeon was about to draw up the wick in the lamp.  Joe’s face showed panic all over it and it almost appeared as though he was going to try to bolt from the room.

“Wait, Doctor Richards, just a moment,” Harold called out with urgency in his tone of voice.  He reached inside the pocket of his vest and drew out a pair of glasses.  “Joe, these will help you whenever either your surgeon here or one of the nurses have to examine your leg.  They’re a bit darker than those glasses that Doctor Martin gave you.  So, only use them during times like these, okay?”

Joe accepted the glasses from Doctor Peele and noticed that the lenses were much darker than the ones he had been wearing for two weeks.  He removed his old ones and then settled the new glasses over his eyes.

“Now we’re ready,” Harold smiled and patted the surgeon’s shoulder.

The surgeon prodded and poked the very bad break just under Joe’s left knee cap.  He muttered a few things, which no-one in the room understood and then finally stood to address the boy’s diagnosis.

“Joe, you have a displaced fracture of the tibia.  And, it looks as though the set has begun to heal already.  However, the fracture was not a clean one so it’s not going to heal straight without surgical intervention.”

Joe stared over at his father and his father stared over at Harold.  Neither father nor son understood much of what the surgeon had said.

“Ben, he’s referring to the main bone which goes down the front of Joseph’s leg.  A displaced fracture means that the bone where the leg is broken in two parts needs to be realigned so it can set properly,” Harold explained the medical jargon and then turned back towards the surgeon and said, “How involved will the surgery and recovery be, Scott?” Doctor Peele asked, as he could tell that both Cartwrights hadn’t understood much of what the surgeon had said.

“I’ll make an incision right above the break and go in and reset the bone.  Then, naturally there will be recovery time for both the incision to heal and the bone to set.  And, I’m thinking of trying a brace instead of a plaster cast this time.  That would give your son more mobility so he can get around better.  We can measure Joe and then fit him for the brace just a few days after surgery.”

Ben stared down at his son and noticed he was wearing a blank look on his face.  It was almost as if Joe hadn’t listened to anything the surgeon had to say.

“How long do you think it will take my son to recover from all of this, Doctor Richards?” Ben jumped in with his question.

The doctor could tell by the way his patient was not responding at all that he was either thinking or he was petrified about the surgery.  “Oh, I don’t think it should be very long, Mister Cartwright, perhaps six to eight weeks.  Of course a lot of that depends on the patient.”

“Well?  What do you think, Joseph?” Ben asked.

“Well, it’s going to hurt if it doesn’t get fixed and it’s going to hurt if it does get fixed so I don’t care.   I guess just fix it,” he replied without much emotion to his words.

Doctor Richards looked over at Harold and said, “We can do this first thing in the morning.  Will seven o’clock work for your schedule?”

Harold nodded and replied, “That’s fine, Scott.  Thank you.”

“I’ll see all of you in the morning then.  Goodbye.” The surgeon said and left the room.

“Pa?” Joe whispered, and watched as his father drew close to the bed.

“Yes?”

“Can you turn that light down now?”

Ben looked over at Harold and noticed how he shook his head sadly.  “Of course I can,” Pa returned, and drew the wick back down in the lamp.

“Now you remember our deal, Joseph.  You take those very dark glasses off for now and go put those other ones back on.  Just set the ones I gave you over on the table by your bed in case you need them.”

Joe did as instructed and switched out for his old glasses before lying back down on the bed.  “I’m kind of tired.”

“You’ve had a busy day.  Go ahead and take a nap and in a bit I’ll have the nurse bring in a very nice supper in for the both of you,” Harold called over to Joe.

“Thank you, Harold,” Ben nodded over to the man as he exited.

“Pa?  Will you make sure that my glasses stay on me while I’m in surgery?”

“Joseph, don’t you worry about that right now.  I told you that you’ll be sedated so you won’t even be awake.”

“Pa, I need to know that I won’t wake up in the light!” Joe shouted.

Ben moved closer to his son and sat down on the side of the bed.  “I will make sure you have your glasses on, okay?  Now, no more worrying about that!  You just go to sleep, Young Man.”

Joe closed his eyes and whispered, “There’s pain in the light, Pa.”

Ben watched as his son fell off to sleep.  He felt so deeply distraught over what Joseph had said that he didn’t know what to do.  Ben hoped that the other doctor who Harold had mentioned might be able to help Joe once he had gotten through surgery.  There just had to be some way for someone to bring his son back from all the torment he had gone through.

*************

Later that night a nurse had brought in two trays of food for both Ben and Joe’s supper.  Staring over across the room at his son, Pa knew what was going through the boy’s head.  Both plates had mashed potatoes, peas, roast beef and a piece of bread on them.  Joe had been worried about this happening.  He had lucked out on the trip west as he was able to find a sandwich on one lay-over and a tortilla at another one.  Both of those meals were just fine to eat with his hands.  But, now, there would be no hiding the fact that he couldn’t manage utensils anymore.  Joe could just imagine what his father would say if he even tried to pile mashed potatoes into his hands.

“I’m really not hungry, Pa,” Joe stated and pulled his legs back up in the bed.

Ben took in a deep breath and shook his head, fighting a knowing smile.  He walked over to his son’s bed and looked down at the boy’s dinner tray.

“Okay, Joseph.  Enough is enough.  I’m acutely aware that you’re having some difficulties handling silverware right now.  So, let’s just make a trade, okay?”

Joe felt embarrassed and looked away from his Pa.  He soon felt the man’s hand on his shoulder.

“I will trade you mashed potatoes for my piece of bread.  Then you can make a sandwich with that meat.  Better yet,” Ben paused when he realized Joe would still have to use his fingers to layer on the meat on the bread.  “I’ll fix it for you.  Now just a minute I’ll be right back.”  Pa took his son’s tray over to his serving table and prepared the sandwich for Joe.  He was back quickly and handed the boy the newly prepared roast beef sandwich.

Joe still felt embarrassed but, since Pa was doing everything in his power to help him, he didn’t turn the gesture down.

“Thanks, Pa,” Joe nodded over to his father and began to eat his sandwich.

“I just hope we don’t have porridge for breakfast,” Ben quipped, trying his best to show that he understood some of what the boy was going through and wanted him to ease up on himself about it.

***********

Preston Hilliard was mad.  He wasn’t just run of the mill mad; he was infuriated now.  The two brothers who he had chosen to take care of one Joseph Cartwright had not fulfilled their share of the bargain and now he was going to confront them.  It had taken a few weeks to learn of their whereabouts and that had been done with the aid of his other partner in crime, J.T. Bridger.  J.T. had found both Silas and Thorne Dalton having a grand old time in Carson City spending the first half of the money they had received from Preston.  He had kept a good eye on the two evil brothers and then sent word to his boss to come to Carson City for a horse auction that was going on that weekend.  J.T. thought that would make it a very good “cover” in case Preston was still being watched by Sheriff Roy Coffee.

“Come in!” Preston Hilliard called at the sound of someone knocking on the door to his hotel room.

“Are you eyeing any horses in particular?” J.T. smiled and walked over to the man sitting down on the bed.

Preston laughed and shook his head and then replied, “I just might buy me one or two to make it look good.  So, where are those idiots?”

“I got a hold of them and left a note for them to come up the back steps in a few minutes.  I wrote down your room number.”

“I still can’t believe those fools just left the Cartwright kid alone there!  And, as luck would have it some do-gooder found the brat!”

J.T. sighed and settled down into the chair next to the bed.  “I know that kid’s got nine lives I swear!”

The knock sounded loudly and J.T. walked over to make sure it was the two brothers before opening the door.  In walked both Silas and Thorne Dalton, and they smelled of whiskey and cigars.

“Preston, well, we sure are glad you came and found us so’s you can give us that other half you owe us!” Silas exclaimed.

“Yeah, we want our money,” Thorne nodded.

“You two didn’t do your job right!” Preston shouted and moved across the room to stare at them both.

“We kept the brat for three straight months!  We never sent word to you and we never got word from you either.  So we broke Cartwright’s leg and headed out of there.  You know his old man had posters out all over the territory!”

“Well, then you could’ve killed him!” Preston argued.

“You told us not to kill the kid, remember?” Silas reminded the man.

“Well the boy is back now, and that can get us all in deep with the law!” Preston yelled.

Silas laughed and called over to the man, “Settle down, Preston!  That kid got home two weeks ago.  Yeah, I heard all about it.  Now, don’t you think that you’d already be in jail if the kid had talked?”

“Huh?” J.T. asked.

“Kid, you might be fast with a gun, but you ain’t that fast at following along!” Thorne announced.

“Just spill it!” Preston shouted again.

“We fixed that kid good.  He ain’t gonna say nothing about you and he’s not gonna say nothing about us.  The things that we did to that boy — well — I’m surprised he’s not in an asylum right now.  Boy did we tear him up, right, Thorne?”

Thorne shot over a sinister grin and nodded over at his brother, “We got that boy so scared he couldn’t even look at us!  We didn’t even have to blindfold him!  He did everything we told him to do.”

Preston looked very perplexed over what he was hearing.  But, it had been a fact that Sheriff Coffee had not questioned him at all ever since Joe Cartwright had been brought back to the Ponderosa.

“What the hell did you do to that boy anyway?” Preston asked.

Silas looked at his brother and they both laughed and replied, “Whatever we wanted to!  Now give us our money because we’re ready to move on from Carson.”

Preston walked to the table where his carpet bag sat and removed his billfold from inside of it.  He counted out the agreed upon amount and handed it over to Silas.

“This concludes our business now.  Remember you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, right?”

Silas and Thorne stood from their chairs and smiled over at the other two men.  They simply waved goodbye and turned out of the room still laughing over their good fortune.

***********

Doctor Harold Peele stood on one side of the bed in the recovery room and Ben Cartwright stood on the other side.  They stared down at the young man, who was still heavily sedated, after the lengthy surgery had been completed to repair his left leg.

“He did very well, Ben,” Harold smiled over at the anxious father.  “And Doctor Richards did an excellent job with the repairs.  Joseph, if he behaves and takes care of himself, should recover fully according to Scott.”

Ben dropped his hand down to rest on his son’s shoulder and nodded over towards Harold.  “It’s wonderful to have some good news, Harold, after so many months of such total sorrow.  I don’t know how I can thank you and also Doctor Richards.  I spoke to him a little while ago and told him how much we appreciated his help.”

Doctor Peele reached over and touched his friend’s arm and replied, “You just try to get this young man to take it easy and get well, and that would be thanks enough for me.”

Before he could respond, he noticed Joe starting to come around.  “Uh oh, I’d better get these glasses on the kid, or I’m going to hear it from him,” Ben said and reached inside his vest and pulled out Joe’s eyeglasses.  He carefully placed them over his son’s eyes and stood back up waiting for him to awaken.

“Pa?” Joe whispered groggily, as he tried to get his father’s face to come into focus.

Ben took Joe’s hand into his own and whispered, “I’m right here, Son.  You’re going to be just fine.  Now don’t try to move.  You have a lot of stitches in you, and a splint on either side of your leg for now.”

“Uncle Harold?” Joe turned his attention to the man on the other side of his bed.

“I’m here too, Joseph.  You did real well.  Now in just a little while we’ll get you all settled back in your room.  Later this week Doctor Richards will measure you for that brace.  Right now the main thing is for you to just rest.”

“Thanks, Uncle,” Joe nodded groggily over to the doctor and then turned his attention back to his father.

“Pa?”

“Yes, Joseph?” He asked, and bent down closer in order to hear the sound of the boy’s diminishing voice.

“Thanks — thanks for making sure — making sure I’m not in the light.”

Pa just smiled and rubbed his hand over the top of his son’s head and answered, “I told you I would.  Now close those eyes and I’ll see you once we get you back up into the room.”

Joe slowly dropped his eyelids down until they closed for the final time and he was fast asleep.

Ben just shook his head down at his son, still so worried about the fact that being in the light had become Joseph’s greatest fear and concern.

“He’ll be alright, Ben.  Come on, let me get you some coffee and then we’ll get Joe back up to your room.”

When Harold noticed that it was apparent that his friend wasn’t planning to budge from his position standing guard over his youngest son, he walked around the bed and tugged at the other man’s arm.  “We’ll only be a minute, now come on!” Harold insisted, and was finally able to pry the overly protective father out of the recovery room.   The two men walked down the hall to the dispensary where the staff kept coffee at the ready twenty-four hours a day.

**************

Ben Cartwright sent two wires off that afternoon when Joe had finally left the recovery room and was settled back into his regular bed.  One was written to his two oldest boys, and the other had gone out to Doctor Paul Martin.  He had advised all of them that Joseph had done well and the surgeon was very optimistic that, in time, Joe should make a full recovery.  Ben had also written Paul about the new doctor who had been assigned to Joseph and who would be having his first session with the boy the following day.  He told Paul that he hoped that the man’s experience in dealing with trauma would help aid him in getting through to the boy.

“So, let me get this right,” Joe paused as he stared up from his hospital bed at Doctor Cleveland Wallace.  “You’re the kind of doctor who decides if I get put into an asylum, right?”

Doctor Wallace smiled at Joe and shook his head.  “No, Young Man, I don’t send anyone to an asylum!  Now — why do you ask?  Do you think that you belong in one?”

Joe stared over at the man warily and answered, “I’m sure you’ve heard all about me, right?  You’ve heard the way I eat, the way I can’t look at light and how I cry over the fact that my rat friend was killed in front of me.  Now, does any of that sound sane to you?”

“Well, Joe, I’ll tell you the truth if I had been where you were I’m pretty sure I’d be even worse off.  Now, how about we talk about a couple of those things you just said?  You mentioned something about the way that you eat.  Tell me about it.”

Joe frowned, he suspected the doctor was trying to act like his “friend” and then would no doubt be sending him off to be placed into restraints.

“I eat like a darned animal,” Joe responded bitterly.  “I use my hands — that’s all they gave me to use and it’s all I can handle now.”

“Have you tried to go back to the way you use to eat, Joe?”

“I can’t, I can’t do anything like I use to!  They did that to me — and,” Joe stopped abruptly, feeling swept away by his pent up emotions.

“Who were THEY, Joe?”

Joe looked up at the doctor and anger controlled his face when he answered, “THEY are the monsters who hurt me — that’s who they are!”

“Up in the light, right?” Doctor Wallace continued to try to break through to Joe.

“Yes, up in the light!”

“What did they do to you?”

Joe’s eyes filled with visions of what had happened up in the light of the cabin.  He fought to catch his breath but couldn’t.

“Breathe, Joe.  Come on, Breathe!” Doctor Wallace called to the boy.  He could see that his patient had yet to exhale.  He finally reached over and swatted him on his back.  “Breathe!” He shouted.

Joe finally expelled a breath and then sucked in air again.  His body shook as though he was chilled to the bone.  Even Joe’s teeth chattered as he apparently had been propelled back into the sights and terrors of the cabin.

“Joe?  Joe can you hear me?” The doctor called out.

“I’m cold — I’m just so cold,” Joe muttered and then eased down into his bed and pulled the blanket up around his shoulders.

“Okay, Joe, I’ll go get you another blanket.  You just relax,” Doctor Wallace said and moved out into the hall.

“Well?” Ben asked, concern framing his face as he stood in Harold’s office and looked over at Doctor Wallace.

“He’s a very troubled young man – but then you know that Mister Cartwright.  Do you know why he’s worried about being put in an asylum?  Did anyone mention that to him?”

Ben sighed and shook his head.  “No, nobody said that to Joseph.  He thought we were talking about sending him away — I guess he misunderstood my other sons and me talking about getting him here to have the operation but in his mind he took it to mean something different.”

The doctor nodded and returned, “He did mention several things in passing like the way he’s been eating, his issue with lamp light, and getting emotional when speaking about what happened to that rat down in the cellar.  At least that was something.  But, just as soon as I tried to find out who it was that hurt him up in the light there in the cabin he panicked and even stopped breathing for a few minutes.   Then, afterwards, he was chilled to the bone. Whatever was done to your son has to be just too much for him to emotionally handle right now.”

“I know you’ve only talked to Joe once, can you try again?”

“I can try, Mister Cartwright,” the doctor nodded.  “But, if he won’t let me in there’s not a whole lot that I can do.  I’m also very concerned with the way that he responded tonight.  It just might be too soon for the boy.”

“Anything that you could try would be greatly appreciated.  You said that Joseph mentioned his eating habits?  Then he’s aware of what he’s doing?”

Doctor Wallace nodded over to the other man.  “Oh yes, Joe understands.  He was forced to eat that way by whoever held him in that cabin.  And God knows what they did to him to scare him so badly that he’s afraid to stop eating that way now!  I believe Joe is embarrassed over how he eats, how he feels about things and even about needing the lamp turned down low.  Unfortunately there’s nothing he can do about any of those things right now.  You mentioned he’s only been back less than three weeks.  That’s really not very long when you consider how long he was held in captivity.  I would just be patient with him, Mister Cartwright.  And, I will be in to see him again before you leave to go back home.”

Ben shook the doctor’s hand and replied, “thank you.”

Then, feeling a bit down hearted, the worried father moved across the hall to see his son.

************

Adam held the telegraph up in his hand as he entered the Ponderosa ranch house in search of his brother Hoss.  He finally found the big man coming out of the kitchen.

“Hey, Hoss, Pa and Joe are heading back in just a few days!  Fletcher just brought this telegraph.  Pa says here that Joe’s been fitted for that leg brace and by the end of the week they will head on home.”

Hoss grinned and clapped his brother on the back.  “That’s good news!  I’ve missed that ornery cuss.  Did Pa say how he’s doing?  I mean — you know with other stuff?”

Adam shook his head and replied, “No, Hoss.  There’s nothing in here about that.  Well, let’s help Hop Sing get this place ship shape and then you and I need to get the last of the haying done to show we haven’t been goofing off!”

“You’re a slave driver just like your Pa!” Hoss laughed and moved back to the kitchen to tell the Chinese member of the family the good news.

*********

“How’s that brace feel now, Joe?” Doctor Richards asked, after making adjustments.

Joe leaned forward in the bed and nodded towards the man.  “I think it’s okay, Doc.  You want me to try to walk in this thing now?”

“Sure just swing down carefully.  And, you need to remember what I told you.  I want that left thigh of yours to do all the work.  The thick metal rod going across your boot-heel will steady that leg and you’ll still be able to bend at the knee but I don’t want you using that bone that I had to fix.”

Joe slowly walked across the room and neared where Pa was standing.

“How’s it feel, Son?” Ben asked.

Joe shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Okay I guess.”

“And what about the pain, Joe, is it any better?” The doctor continued.

“Yeah, it’s not as bad.  Just smarts a bit.”

“Okay, well, now that I’ve shown you both how to get in and out of that brace I’ll write up your discharge papers since you’ll be leaving tomorrow.   I’ve also sent my recommendations to your doctor there in Virginia City.  Be sure you get with him when you are back home and settled.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor,” Ben said shaking the man’s hand gratefully.

“Yeah, thanks,” Joe called across the room as he left.

The door opened again and Doctor Wallace walked inside.

“I hope you don’t mind my coming by?  I know you both are leaving tomorrow and I just thought that maybe Joe and I could have a short talk?”

Joe drew in a deep breath and his father could tell that he wasn’t very thrilled about seeing or conversing with the doctor.  He had spoken to Doctor Wallace three times since having surgery, and none of the visits had been pleasant.

“I’ll just go see to our travel arrangements,” Ben nodded and walked out of the room.

“Joe, take the frown off your face.  You won’t have to see me ever again — that is – unless you want to!  Now go sit down and let’s see how this goes, okay?”

Joe took a seat on the bed and folded his arms across his chest in preparation for what would be more grueling questions, none of which he planned to answer.

“I see by the way that you’re sitting that you aren’t planning on talking to me, right?” Doctor Wallace began.

“What’s that mean?”

“You’ve crossed your arms like you’re holding something inside.”

Joe stared down at the floor and replied, “Okay, Doc, what do you want to ask me this time?  I mean every time we talk my nightmares get worse and my Pa loses as much sleep as me because I end up waking him.”

“Joe, here,” Doctor Wallace said, and handed him a book.  “This is a book where you can write down how you are feeling.  Some people find it helpful.  Take it home with you and maybe you’ll get some use out of it.”

Joe frowned once more and returned, “I’m sure not going to write down the stuff that’s in my mind.  I told you before I don’t want to end up in an asylum, and if I were to write the stuff that I think about and someone found this then I bet I’ll be put into restraints right away.

“Well, just keep it in case you change your mind, okay?  Now, I want you to remember what I told you the last time we spoke.  When you feel that you’re ready to get some things off of your chest you can always write to me.  Or, well, you know your father wants to help you too?”

“I’ve put Pa through enough,” Joe replied sullenly.  The fact of the matter was that Joe was now feeling as though he had put his whole family through more than he ever should have.

“Joe, your Pa loves you, and from what I’ve been told, so do your brothers.  Don’t push them away because you think it will hurt them to tell them things.  If situations were reversed I’m sure you’d want to help them, right?”

Joe shook his head wearily and said, “Nobody in my whole family has ever gone through the messed up stuff that I have.  I don’t know why it’s always got to be me!”

The doctor watched as the young man’s sadness turned back into anger.  It hadn’t come unexpectedly either.  Doctor Wallace had been waiting for it to arise.

“You’ve gone through a lot more than any of them?” Doctor Wallace asked, though he already had been told that answer by Ben Cartwright days ago.

“Hell yeah I have!” Joe yelled.  “I mean — you name it — I’ve been through it!”

“Like what happened to you four years ago at your house?”

“Yeah — like that!   And then what they did to me at that cabin —” Joe stopped abruptly when he realized what he had just said and spotted the look on the other man’s face.

“You were saying?” Doctor Wallace raised his eyebrows urging his patient on.  He hoped that the boy had finally let his guard down.

“I don’t want to talk anymore!” Joe spat back, now upset over feeling like he had been put on the spot.  The angered young man turned his head away from the doctor as he attempted to hide the sudden appearance of tears which were now freely falling from his eyes.  Joe had no idea that his father had told the doctor about what he had been put through four years ago at the Ponderosa ranch house.   So when the doctor had suddenly brought it up, Joe had almost let the dreadful truth slip out.  And, if he had done that, there was a good chance that Joe would have divulged all that had happened up in the cabin.  There was no way that he would ever tell anyone about all that had been done to him; not ever.

“Joe, this has to eventually come out, you know it does,” the doctor said with great compassion coming out in his words.

“No!  I just can’t — I just can’t!” Joe exclaimed adamantly.  “I’m going to get out of this brace and get some sleep, Doc.  I’m sorry.”

Doctor Wallace stood and reached over to pat his patient on the shoulder.  “Joe, if you ever need to talk come see me, or send me a letter.  I’ll stay in touch with your father to see how you’re getting along.”

“Goodbye, Doc,” Joe whispered and then drew himself up from the bed.   He limped away, turning his back on the other man.

Doctor Wallace walked out into the corridor to find Ben Cartwright standing there waiting on him.

“Any luck?” Ben asked hopefully.

“He was close, Mister Cartwright, very close to revealing what happened up in that cabin.  I brought up what you told me happened four years ago.  Joe became enraged and I thought he was just about to blurt it all out.  But, he caught himself at the last minute.  Just give the boy time, and I think that eventually it will come out.  At least I hope so for his sake — and for yours.  Be patient with him and keep in touch, okay?”

Ben nodded and shook the doctor’s hand, “Thank you for all that you tried to do, Doctor Wallace.  And, yes, I will keep you apprised of anything that comes up regarding Joseph’s progress.”

“Good luck, Sir,” the doctor said and then turned down the hallway.

***********

Harold, Ben and Joe sat in the doctor’s office the next afternoon as the Cartwright’s readied to leave the hospital.  Joe stood from the wheelchair and walked behind his uncle’s desk and lifted the picture of his cousin Daniel up into his hands.

“I guess we don’t look much alike anymore, huh?” Joe frowned and turned to look over at Harold.

“You will, Joseph — that is — once you get your weight back up and grow your hair out again!” Harold replied, trying his best to sound optimistic.

Joe handed the frame back to the doctor and settled back down into his wheelchair.

“We both appreciate all that you’ve done, Harold,” Ben jumped, in as he noticed the look that Joe wore on his face.  He could tell that the boy had once again turned introspective, still caught up in the memories of all that he had endured.

Harold hadn’t missed the worry that was etched all over Ben’s face.  He stood and walked over to him and replied, “Nonsense!  This is my nephew — I’m just glad that I could help some.  Now, Ben, you and Joe have a safe trip home.  I hope, if time allows, that I’ll be able to come and visit you next Christmas.  You tell Adam and Hoss that I look forward to seeing them — oh and getting to eat some of Hop Sing’s good home cooking too!”

Ben stood and shook the doctor’s hand and moved to grab the back of the wheelchair in order to roll Joe out into the corridor.

“I know the boys will be happy to see you, Harold – and Hop Sing will be happy to make you the very best Christmas dinner you’ve ever had.  Joseph?  Are you about set?”

Joe reached over and shook his uncle’s hand and said, “Thank you, Uncle Harold — for everything.”

Harold smiled and patted his nephew’s shoulder and returned, “You’re very welcome, Joseph.  Now, Robert is going to get you and your pa back to the stage depot.  I wish I could go with you but unfortunately I’ve got a required board meeting.  Ben, you wire me when you both get home, okay?”

Pa smiled and patted Harold’s back and said, “I will.  Hope to see you by next Christmas.”  Ben shared a concerned glance with the doctor and nodded towards him.  The doctor knew that he would be kept in the loop this time, in order to find out how his nephew was healing both physically and mentally.

“Goodbye for now,” Harold called after the departing figures of both Ben and Joe.  His worried gaze followed the two Cartwrights until they moved down the hallway and faded from view.

*************

The stagecoach had been a bit more cramped than Ben had expected on the first leg of their trip back to Virginia City.  Fortunately, by the second day the additional passengers had disembarked leaving the two Cartwrights alone in the stage for the remaining two days.  Joe had spent most of day two slumbering in the heat of the day while his father just sat and thought on all that had happened and all that needed to get accomplished once they both made it back home again.

The last day of the journey Ben had waited for the chance to discuss something with his youngest, but was unsure how to broach the topic with his boy.  Finally, after handing Joe the canteen and waiting for him to return it, he began.

“Joseph?  You didn’t sleep very well last night did you?”

Joe shifted nervously on the seat, wondering why his father was asking this time.  He wondered if he had shouted out in his sleep once again.  “Why do you ask?”

“Well — I heard you muttering a few things — I’m not saying it was a nightmare, but you did sound as though you were upset in your sleep.  Do you want to tell me what it was about?”

“I don’t think I remember,” Joe lied.

“Seems to me you kept on mentioning something about a spoon, Son.  Now it’s just the two of us, and we’re going to be in this stage until our last stop — so we might just as well talk about it, okay?”

Joe frowned and shook his head.  “I doubt it will do either of us any good to hear it.”

Ben just stared at his son, revealing in his gaze that he wanted to hear about it anyway.

“Pa — I have bad dreams and I have nightmares.  That’s it.  I never just have regular dreams anymore.”

Ben nodded that he was well aware of that fact and reiterated, “I’m asking about the one from last night, Son.”

Joe directed his gaze down to the floor of the stage and drew in a deep breath.  “Pa — yesterday — when we stopped to let those passengers off — and we went to get the coffee, remember?”

“Yes, I remember, what about it?”

“We sat there and that lady brought us those two cups of coffee.  You took yours black, like always.  I don’t take mine black — but I had to have it that way yesterday.”

Pa shot a quizzical look over to his son, “I’m sorry, Joseph, I’m not following you.  Why did you take it black?”

“Because I had to, Pa,” Joe answered, and glared at his father.

“Oh — oh – you didn’t want to use the teaspoon?” Ben finally realized what the boy was talking about.

“Yeah — I couldn’t even manage a danged teaspoon to put sugar in my coffee!” Joe exclaimed, and he seemed very upset over his inability to do something so simple.

Pa draped his arm over his son’s shoulder and tried to put Joe at ease.  “So that’s why you were saying something about a spoon in your dream.  Joseph, you should’ve just asked me to get you some sugar, I wouldn’t have minded doing that!”

“You don’t understand, Pa!” Joe returned, revealing the feeling of despondency in his tone of voice.  “I’m twenty-three years old.  How do you think I’d feel having my Pa putting my sugar into my coffee for me?”

“You won’t always have these issues, Joe.   You’ve been gone for such a long time and so much happened to you.  You need to ease up on yourself.  It won’t be like this forever.”

Joe dropped his head back down into his hands and fought the tears he was trying so hard to keep inside.  His father could see how hurt his son was and tried to figure out what to do or say in order to help him.

“Joseph — I know there’s a lot of things you’re not comfortable talking about right now.  But, how about just talking about this problem with using utensils with me?  Do you think you could just share that with me for now?  I promise we won’t go any further than that until you feel like you can.”

“Pa — I just don’t know if I can,” Joe whispered, and shook his head back and forth sadly.

“Just try,” Ben urged and dropped his hand down to his son’s shoulder for comfort.

“Okay — I – I – was in the cellar.  They would bring old rancid beans for me to eat most of the time.  My wrists were bound together — and it was hard to even put food into my mouth like that, but it was the best I could do using my fingers,” Joe paused, trying to regroup his emotions in order to continue.

“I understand — go on.”

Joe drew in another deep breath and then sat back up and leaned all the way back in the seat.  “I never saw their faces, Pa.  It was too dark in the cellar and upstairs — in the light –

“Yes?”

“I can’t talk about that part, Pa,” Joe replied sullenly.

“Okay, Joseph — go on –tell me what you can talk about.”

“I told you that I have no idea how long I was there for, it was too dark to tell.  But, I know it had to be a long time that I’d only had beans.  Then, I saw a shadow come down the stairs, I was sure that I was going to be dragged up into the light— and my whole body would begin to shake just thinking about it.  But, that didn’t happen that time.  Instead I heard the voice and he said that they had made some stew and they were going to let me have some.  It was in a metal cup, I could smell it.    I don’t know which of the two men it was — and I didn’t care as they were both evil.  But, anyway — he handed me the stew.  I couldn’t eat it though.  It was too difficult to try to do using my fingers —especially since my wrists were bound together.  So – he said he could give me a spoon,” Joe stopped his explanation and leaned forward again, and dropped his head down in his hands.

“What happened, Joe?” Ben urged the boy out with it.

“He said if I would ask nice he would give me the spoon and I could eat the stew.  So, I asked — I said will you please give me the spoon.  It was degrading — but so what?  It wasn’t the first time I’d been degraded there — so I did it.”

“Did he give the spoon to you then?”

“No— he said that I needed to sound more sincere.  So, I tried again.  I said will you please give me the spoon, and I tried my best not to show the hate I felt for him.  But, no, that wasn’t good enough either!  He finally said I needed to beg for the darn spoon.  I didn’t want to beg for a spoon for stew or nothing else — but he told me that I’d better beg or I’d —- well — anyway,” Joe stopped again.  He wasn’t going to get into what would have happened to him if he hadn’t given in to the demand.  There were far too many times that he had dealt with the cruelty always waiting there up in the light

“What happened, Joe?”

“I begged, Pa.  It wasn’t worth going back up into the light if I hadn’t begged him.  There’s pain in the light, Pa.  So I begged him to give me a spoon, I even got onto my knees to do it.  So he tossed the spoon down on the ground.  As I went to pick it up — well — I didn’t know the other man had come down the stairs too —and he smashed my fingers with his boot.  He mashed them into the ground good.  Then, when I was finally able to get my fingers out from under his boot he picked up the spoon and took the stew away and then they both went back up the stairs laughing.”

Pa leaned over and wrapped his arms around his son’s shoulders and pulled him close.  He tried to protect him from the horrible cruelty which still existed there in Joe’s mind.  “Oh, Joseph, I’m so sorry you had to endure all of that.”

“That was how it went, Pa, day by day, lesson by lesson as they broke me from acting like a normal human being.  Just like the water dish they made me drink from.  They had it weighted down in something hard — I don’t know how they rigged it, but I couldn’t lift it up.  So, if I wanted to drink I had to kneel there by the water dish and lap it up like a dog.  They wouldn’t leave me a cup so I could dip it in there.  They just wanted to break me in every way that they could.  I couldn’t even cup my hand in order to drink that way since my wrists were bound together.  At least I can manage a glass or a cup now that I’m out of there — but utensils — well — I just can’t — I just can’t right now.  There were too many times that they taught me how to eat, Pa, so I wouldn’t use anything but my fingers.  And, other than just a couple of times where they messed with me and my food down in the darkness — all the really bad things were always waiting for me up in the light.  There’s pain in the light, Pa.”

Ben held onto his son, and tried to shelter him from the horrendous memories which continued to plague him.  He didn’t know what he could do to help his son.  Ben knew what he wanted to do, and that was to go after all of those responsible for tormenting Joseph and for causing him such awful harm both physically and mentally.

“It’s going to be alright, Joseph —- I don’t know how long it will take —- but somehow it will be alright.  But — until then — you don’t have to do anything that you’re not comfortable doing.  No-one is going to judge you – or look at you any differently.  All we care about is that you’re still with us.”

Joe closed his eyes and wished that he could believe what his father had said but he couldn’t.  It was futile to think that anything would ever be alright again, not after all that he had gone through.  There were far too many things which he had endured that he would never be able to acknowledge.  Joe knew he couldn’t confess those things to his father, because he couldn’t even admit those things to himself.  All that Joe could hope for at that particular moment was that sleep would overtake him and that the persistent feeling of hopelessness would ease up on him for a few hours.

************

Adam and Hoss Cartwright had just finished downing a few beers as they awaited the return of both Ben and Joe.  The stage was late, but that wasn’t unusual, so they had decided to have a drink or two in order to pass the time.  Finally hearing the sound of the stagecoach rounding the end of C Street they paid for their beers and hurried down to the Overland Stage Depot.

Ben was the first one out of the stage, soon followed by Joe.  They turned to see Adam and Hoss heading their way.

“Sure is good to see you two!” Ben smiled and patted the shoulders of both of his boys.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too, Pa —and you too, Little Brother!” Hoss grinned and then noticed he’d better not give Joe the normal bear hug kind of greeting.  He could tell that his brother had a contraption over his left pant leg and he didn’t want to hurt the boy.

“Did you both have a good trip?” Adam asked as he and Hoss retrieved the luggage from the driver.

“Fine,” Ben nodded and turned to look over at Joe.  “Are you about ready to go home now, Joseph?  Or do you want to stretch a bit first?”

“I’m okay.  We can go home now, Pa,” Joe answered quietly.

“Well good, ‘cause we brung the buckboard along with us so you two can go home in that and me and Adam will ride along next to you,” Hoss explained.

Joe had noticed that the three o’clock sun was very bright and the trip back home wouldn’t offer much shade.  He stepped up onto the porch for a minute and turned his back on his father and brothers.  Joe drew out the very dark glasses which his uncle had given him back in the hospital and traded them for the ones that he had been given by Doctor Martin.  His family noticed what Joe was doing and Ben tried to cast a warning look towards both Adam and Hoss so they wouldn’t mention anything about it.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Joe called and walked over to the buckboard without looking at any of his family members.

*************

Hoss and Adam helped carry in the luggage and put it up in both Ben and Joe’s bedrooms and then met the two of them in the living room.  Joe had his left leg spread out there by the fireplace and Pa was seated drinking coffee in his red leather chair.

“Here, Little Joe,” Hop Sing called as he handed the boy a cup of coffee.

Joe nodded and thanked the man, but didn’t look over at his father.  He had decided that he would just have to get use to drinking coffee black for a while.  So it had come as a surprise to him when he tasted that there was sugar already mixed there in his cup.  He sipped at the brew and then stared over at Pa.

“This certainly is better coffee than we had back in California, isn’t it, Joseph?” Ben smiled.

Joe attempted to return his pa’s smile, though it was hard to pull one up from his gut.  But, he figured that his father must have spoken to the cook and explained that sugar needed to be added to Joe’s coffee for a while.  “Yeah, it’s much better than the last one I had,” Joe nodded towards his Pa.

At supper that night Joe wasn’t surprised to find that there was fried chicken and biscuits along with other side dishes.  Pa had always been okay with his boys using their hands to eat when the cook made fried chicken so Joe hadn’t felt awkward.  He ate what he could and then listened as his brothers chatted about what had gone on with the ranch during the two weeks that he and Pa had been at the hospital.  Finally, worn out physically, Joe decided it was time for bed.

“Hey, I think I’ve about had it for now.  I’m going to go to bed.  Good night,” Joe called as he stood from his chair.

“Do you need help getting out of that brace?” Ben asked.

Joe shook his head and replied, “No, Pa, it might take a while to get all of those wing nuts off, but I can manage.  See you all in the morning.”

Heading for the staircase, Joe paused right before going up to his room and turned and called over to his family one last time.  “You can go put up all of those lights now.  I won’t be coming back down tonight.  I’m sorry about all of this.”

“The lights aren’t bothering us, Joe,” Adam called over to his brother.

“Just the same — I’m sorry.  Good night,” Joe replied somberly and headed up to his bedroom and the solace he would find there.

Once they were certain that Joe had made it up to his room, the other family members began to discuss what had happened at the hospital.

“So that doctor couldn’t help Little Joe?” Hoss asked, worry showing all over his face.

Ben sighed and shook his head wearily.  “He tried, but Joe has so much bottled up inside of him.   He’s got so many wounds – though physically he’s doing better – but emotionally he’s still got the world on his shoulders.”

“That Doctor Wallace couldn’t get anything out of him?” Adam jumped in to the conversation.

“Well, he said that Joe is very upset over how he can’t eat with utensils and that he’s got the aversion to light.  Joe even brought up that story about the rat.  He feels bad about everything, but he just can’t deal with any of it to help himself move forward.”

“Pa? When are you going to let us try to find who did this to Joe?” Adam asked, his face showing the anger which all of the men at the table felt as well.

“Joseph still says he doesn’t remember who they were.  He insists that he never saw their faces either.”

Adam shook his head and gave an exasperated sigh.  “Come on, Pa!  I know the poor kid’s head is messed up, but I just can’t believe that he didn’t see their faces as long as they held him.   When that Jax fellow found him Joe didn’t have a blindfold.  Don’t you think that Joe’s just too afraid to tell the truth?”

Ben frowned and forced his gaze over on his eldest and replied, “Only Joseph can tell us that.  I’m not about to force him to relive what he’s been put through until he’s ready —and from what Doctor Wallace said that boy is just not ready yet.”

“Pa?” Hoss stared over at his father and Ben could read the concern in the big man’s eyes.  “What if we go and try to find that J.T. Bridger fellow?  He was the one who was in this with Preston, so maybe he knows exactly who held Joe all that time?”
Ben glanced over at Adam and read the hatred all over his face.  He knew that his oldest boy really wanted to take care of J.T. for two reasons.  One was that he had been a party to stealing his little brother away, and the other reason was to repay him for the bullet that the gunman had sent through Adam’s side.

Clearing his throat, after doing a little thinking on the matter first, Pa finally addressed the issue.  “Now, I want you both to listen to me and listen to me good.  If you two want to track down that man and try to get some information out of him — well – that’s fine by me.  But, I don’t want any gunplay!  Adam I can read it all over your face and I do NOT want you drawing on that man.  You’re fast but he’s made his career out of killing.  So, if you two find him, no gunfights.  Is that clear?”

Hoss and Adam frowned as they looked back and forth at each other.  Finally deciding that they’d better ease their father’s mind, they both nodded over to him.

“Okay, Pa,” Adam agreed.

“And, one more thing, you two are to bring me that information back here.  As much as you both want revenge, I want justice for Joseph and I will NOT be left out of the hunt for those two men.  Once I’ve taken care of them then I will go after Preston and J.T.,” Ben said severely.  He meant every last word of what he had said.  Both of his sons could read the look on their father’s face and knew the rage which he had bottled up for so long.

“Okay, Pa, we won’t go after those men if we find out who they are.  That’s a promise,” Adam nodded and stood from the table.  “Hoss and I’ll leave first thing in the morning.”

“Good night, Pa,” Hoss said and clapped his father on the back as he also stood from the dinner table.

Ben watched as his two oldest boys walked away with a very determined set to their shoulders.  He dropped his head down to his hands and prayed that they would both be safe.  Ben also prayed that his sons would find out who had harmed the wounded boy upstairs so that justice could finally be meted out.

***************

The sound of horses galloping out of the yard awakened Joe the next morning. He slowly sat up in bed and straightened the dark glasses which had drifted down his nose while he had slumbered.  Though his window- shade had been pulled down and his curtains were closed, Hop Sing must have opened Joe’s window the previous day to air the room out.  And due to that, a breeze had come in along with the noise from outside somewhere.   Joe reached down to the chair next to his bed where he had placed his cane.  Throwing his legs off to the side, he pulled himself to standing, leaning heavily onto the arm of the chair for balance.  At that moment he heard a knock at his door and turned to see his father walking in.

“Joe?  Are you getting ready to get up now?” Ben called over to his son as he approached the bed.

“I heard riders — did somebody stop by?”

“No, Son, that was your brothers leaving,” Pa explained.

Joe eased down into the chair and waited to hear the rest of the story, which he had already pretty much guessed.

“Where did they go?”

Ben wondered if he should tell his son the truth or come up with a vague excuse about some chore which he had sent Joe’s brothers off to tend to.  Finally, trying his best to be honest with the boy, he chose his words carefully.

“Joseph, your brothers went to try and find J.T. Bridger.”

Joe’s pensive gaze shot down to the floor as he fought with his emotions.  Finally, after a few silent minutes passed, he replied, “I wish they’d just leave it all alone.”

“They’re just going to try to get the names from him.  We know J.T. and Preston are involved already, but we need to know who else was in on this, Joe.”

“Nothing good’s going to come from any of this, Pa!” Joe insisted, his anger coming back again at the thought of all that had happened to him.

Ben sighed wearily as he eased down opposite Joe, sitting down at the head of the bed.  He reached over and placed a hand to the boy’s shoulder and replied, “Joe, we need justice to be served for all that you were put through.”

“Justice, Pa?” Joe shot out loudly, totally incredulous over the thought of it.  “There’s no justice — and there never will be any either!  What —  are you going to get me my three months back?  Are you going to get my sanity back?   Will any kind of justice rid my mind of what they did to me – how they hurt me – how they humiliated me — how they broke me?!”

Reading the raw emotion on Joe’s face and in his words, Pa didn’t know what to say in response.  He knew that no amount of time in prison given to all of the perpetrators would ever serve as enough repayment for what his boy had suffered through.  Nor would any sentence that the criminals might receive help Joe through the torment that he was still dealing with or lessen his fear of the light.

“Surely you don’t want us to just leave it alone, Joseph?” Pa questioned softly.

Joe dropped his head down into his hands and shook his head hopelessly.  “I don’t know what I want anymore, Pa,” he whispered.

“Why don’t we wait and see if they find out anything first?  I’ve told your brothers to just bring back the information to me.  We don’t have to do anything yet, Son.  Now, would you like Hop Sing to bring your breakfast up here, or would you like to try coming downstairs for a bit?”

“I’ll be down in a little while,” Joe answered, still not looking up at Pa.

“How about I help you with that brace?” Ben offered, hoping that Joe would allow him to assist him, even if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.

Joe shook his head “no” and grabbed his cane.  He pulled himself up out of the chair and limped to his dresser to get out his clothes.  Ben hesitated at first, still wanting to help, but then decided to give his son time alone to get himself together.

“I’ll see you downstairs,” Ben called as he walked out into the hall closing the door behind him.

************

Adam and Hoss Cartwright had already asked around in Virginia City to see if anyone had seen J.T. Bridger recently, and no-one had seen hide nor hair of the gunslinger.  They checked with Sheriff Coffee before heading over to Carson City.  The sheriff had informed them that he was still keeping an eye out for any odd comings or goings from the Hilliard ranch and nothing had come of it as yet.  He also had told them that he hadn’t seen J.T. in weeks.

The sun was just setting as the two Cartwrights tied their mounts up at the hitching post at the Crystal Palace Saloon in Carson City.  Just like the Silver Dollar Saloon in Virginia City was the central and most opulent saloon in that town, the same could be said for the Crystal Palace.  Both men knew that more people frequented that saloon, so they hoped to find someone who had seen J.T. there before seeking the seedier side of Carson City.  After riding all day they looked forward to getting a couple of beers and hopefully some information at the bar.  They called out a quick hello to the bartender, Cosmo, and ordered two beers which they took over to a table and sat down.

“Place is kinda dead, ain’t it?” Hoss sang out and looked around.  There were only about ten other customers at the bar and sitting at two of the other tables.

Adam sipped his beer and returned, “It’s still early, Brother.  This place will get livelier in a few hours.  Let’s sit a little while, and then we can always grab something to eat before coming back when this place picks up a bit more.”

“Adam!  Hoss!” a man coming through the swinging doors sounded out loudly and walked towards their table.  “I haven’t seen you boys in a coon’s age!”

The two brothers looked over to where a man wearing all buckskin clothes was approaching them.  They smiled up at one of their old friends, Jack Thomas, and waved him over to sit down.  He was a trapper who made his living catching and skinning varmints for their fur.

“Jack, you old grizzly, I figured you’d got yourself hitched and settled down,” Hoss sang out and grinned at the other man as he sat down.

“No, I can’t stay put long enough for some gal to hog-tie me.  How have you boys been?  How’s your Pa and that wild younger brother doing?”

Adam and Hoss exchanged glances and then tried to force smiles to their faces.  “Oh, everyone’s doing well, Jack,” Adam nodded and then waved Cosmo over with another beer for the other man.  “I think I owed you one of these the last time, Jack.”

“Thanks, Adam.  But, I think I owed you instead — but I’ll accept it to be polite.”

Adam handed the bartender a silver dollar and Cosmo returned to the bar.

“What are you boys doing in Carson?  Has Virginia City run out of beer?”

“Naw – nothing like that,” Hoss began.  “We’re just trying to get some information right now.”

“Oh like what?” Jack asked warily.  He had seen the looks that had passed between the two Cartwright brothers and he read trouble in their eyes.

“We’ve been looking for that gunslinger — the one who was hanging out in Virginia City a while ago — J.T. Bridger.  You haven’t seen him, have you, Jack?”

“Bridger?  Well, I just got into Carson today — but I did see him a few weeks ago when I was here,” Jack said, nodding his head as he remembered.

Hoss perked up and said, “Did you see him with anyone?”

Jack thought a minute and scratched his stubble of beard before replying.  “I don’t think so, Hoss.  But, I seen him coming out of the Emporium Hotel, I remember that much.”

“How long ago was it, Jack?” Adam continued.

“I guess it was about two – or two and a half weeks ago.  I remember it was a Saturday.  I had just got in from trading my furs down at the mercantile, round about noon or so.  I seen him come out of the hotel.  Don’t know where he was going.  He just got on his horse and rode off.  What’s going on, Boys?”

“We just have some unfinished business with him, that’s all, Jack,” Adam replied as he and Hoss stood up.  Adam dropped another silver dollar onto the table and called down to his friend, “Sorry to leave so quickly, but we’re in a bit of a hurry.  Use that dollar and buy yourself another drink on us.  We’ll see you next time!”

“Thank you kindly,” Jack nodded and then grabbed Hoss’ wrist before he walked away.  “You boys don’t get yourself shot by that gunman, you hear?”

“We won’t — don’t worry about us, Jack.  We’ll see you soon.  Thanks!” Hoss called as he walked out of the saloon with his brother.

Fortunately for them, the owner of the Emporium Hotel was a friend of the Cartwright’s as well, and he was quick to tell the two brothers all that he knew about when J.T. Bridger had stayed at the hotel two weeks prior.  He wasn’t able to place the man with anyone else, but he was able to tell them that as far as he knew, J.T. had been overheard to say that he was heading over to Genoa.  With that information, both Adam and Hoss grabbed a quick supper and headed out of town.  They knew it would take at least a half of a day to get to Genoa, but time was not an issue now.  They only had payback on their minds, and it was long past due.

***************

Ben had tried to find some simple things for his son to help him with that day, but Joe’s mind was far too preoccupied to stay focused on much.  He had helped to go over some of the monthly bookkeeping, but, even that had seemed too much for him to handle at the time.   Ben had to fix all of the many errors his son had made in the ledger, though he never told the boy about it.  Joe had turned in early after hardly eating anything for supper.  He just claimed he was tired and had gone up to his bedroom by eight that night.  Ben was finding the house to be far too quiet once Hop Sing had retired for the evening, and he couldn’t stay focused either, though he had tried to read for a while. Ben missed the sounds of his sons, like their playful banter or even rowdier fights at times.  He also missed the everyday monotonous tasks which he used to hate doing.  Ben wished for normalcy, something which had left almost four months ago now.  It had been frightening enough, all those months searching for his son, and now that trouble had been replaced by new worry over Joe’s emotional well-being and fears.  Worse yet was the heightened concern over whether the boy would ever divulge what had happened to him up in the light of the cabin where he had been held for so long.  He knew that Joseph would never be able to move forward with his life until he could admit to all that had gone on during those three months in captivity.  Ben stood and placed a final very hefty log onto the grate in the massive fireplace to carry the warmth through the house into the long night ahead.  His thoughts turned to his two older boys, and Ben sent a silent prayer for their safety before calling it a night and heading for his bedroom.  The stairs creaked softly as the anxious father ascended to his bedroom hopeful that sometime in the future he would once again hear the familiar sounds of his boys filling the room.  He missed the laughter, the happiness, and the love that they all shared.

The loud shouts had awakened Pa from a sound sleep.  He knew it was Joseph having a nightmare again, so he donned his robe and slippers and headed into his son’s bedroom.

“I swear to God I won’t look at you!” Joe screamed to the two shadowy figures in his dream.  “Don’t —- please don’t!”

“Joseph — you’re having a nightmare — wake up, Son,” Ben called quietly, as he tried to ease his son out from his dream as gently as he could manage.

“I won’t look at you!  I swear to God that I won’t!  Don’t — please — don’t!” Joe continued to shriek.

Ben sat down alongside his son and placed his hands on the boy’s shoulders.  “Come on, Joe — it’s okay —it’s just a dream,” he called, a little louder in tone this time.

Joe shot up on the bed gasping for air.  Ben had seen the boy’s glasses go flying off to the end of the bed and he quickly retrieved them.  “Here they are, Joseph – it’s okay — here are your glasses!” Pa tried to get them into his son’s hands.

“No!” Joe shouted, and then came out from the nightmare and realized he didn’t have his glasses on.

“They’re in your hands — just put them on, Son,” Ben called out once more.

Joe fought to breathe and his hands fumbled with the glasses as he tried to quickly pull them over his eyes.

“It’s alright, Joseph.  You just had a nightmare — everything is alright,” Pa continued to try to soothe his son.

Perspiration beaded up on Joe’s forehead and slowly slipped down onto his face as he fought to come out from under the horror of his nightmare.  He tried to remember what his father had said, and then replied, “No, Pa, nothing’s alright.  And nothing will ever be alright again.”

“Tell me about it, Son.  You know you can tell me anything, right?” Ben urged Joe to finally release the memories which continued to haunt him.

Joe shook his head and replied, “No, Pa — it’s just too horrible — just too horrible.”

“Joseph — there’s nothing you can’t tell me.  What happened to you just keeps playing out in your dreams.  You’ve got to get it out.”

“No, Pa,” Joe said despondently, “I can never talk about it.”

Ben put his hand on Joe’s arm and responded compassionately, “Son, you’ve got to bring it all out into the light sometime.”

Joe stared into his father’s eyes and shook his head as he replied, “Bad things happen in the light, Pa.”

Ben closed his eyes as he regretted using the word light, it had just slipped out inadvertently.  Pa regrouped his thoughts as he watched Joe slip back down in the bed, pulling his covers up around him.  “Joseph, I want to help you.  Isn’t there anything I can do?”

“No, Pa — there’s nothing anyone can do for me anymore,” Joe answered woefully.  He felt that any attempt to even suggest that he could be helped was futile.  Joe knew that no-one could change what had happened or help him to deal with it either.  He had to escape his father’s concerned stare, though he knew Pa meant well, there was no point in making him stay up all night when nothing could be done to help the situation.  Joe made sure his glasses were securely in place and then rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.

Ben sat there alongside his son as he watched him drift back off to sleep.  He wished with all of his heart that he had the right words to get through to the boy.  He wished he could make everything all better, but he knew he couldn’t.  Ben said a quick prayer for some kind of an answer to healing his son and then turned out of the boy’s bedroom.  The feeling was back.  It was the feeling which Pa couldn’t shake no matter how hard he had tried.  Ben Cartwright wanted to get his hands on the men who had stolen his son and had abused him.  The need for justice was growing more urgent and more overwhelming every time he had seen his son wearing those dark tinted glasses.  A reckoning was coming Ben could feel it in his bones.  He wondered now if he could tell his sons to “leave it to the law” as he had done for all of their lives.  Ben wasn’t sure if he felt that way anymore, and he had a pretty good idea that neither did his other sons.  He would have to give it a great deal of thought since he was supposed to be their example.  Ben had to acknowledge that right now he felt anything but “law-abiding”.  Moving back inside his bedroom he hoped that sleep would help to settle his nerves and ease his mind a bit, but nothing was going to take away his need for justice for his son.

***********

Adam and Hoss had bided their time, waiting on the outskirts of the town of Genoa.  It wasn’t a bustling town like Virginia City was, but now that it was a Friday night it was going to get busier with local ranch hands coming in eager to spend their money at one of the two saloons there.  Knowing that they might be recognized, both Cartwrights waited in the shadows for night to fall and then they would begin their search.

“You reckon we ought to start to look around now, Adam?” Hoss called, and turned to look over at his brother.

Adam nodded and pointed out toward the street, “Yeah, let’s go down to the Sazerac and see if we can spot Bridger.  It seems like the kind of place that skunk would hold up at.”

Both men walked down the dark alleyway and headed across to the sidewalk which led to a very seedy saloon.  They could hear the loud rowdy crowd inside before opening the swinging doors.  The room was filled with smoke and music from a player piano along with deafening conversations.  Adam and Hoss slowly milled their way around the room and finally had their first piece of luck.

“Look there, Brother,” Hoss whispered as he tugged on Adam’s arm.  He pointed over at the very crowded bar and spied J. T. standing there in the middle, surrounded by many other cowboys laughing and drinking it up.

“Okay, Hoss, now remember what we decided.  I’ll distract him you take care of his gun,” Adam replied quietly.

Adam walked over to the bar and wedged himself between J. T. and a man who had been standing off to the left side of the gunman.

“Beer,” Adam sang out and pointed to the bartender.

J.T. turned to look at the man who he had shot in the side almost four months ago.  “Well, Cartwright — how’ve you been?” J. T. smiled.

“Just fine,” Adam nodded over to him and sipped at his beer.

J.T. stared into the other man’s eyes and could read his intentions.  He slowly eased his right hand down to his Colt.  He was surprised to find it gone.  J. T. spun around to face Hoss Cartwright.  “Give me my gun!” He shouted.

“Not this time.  You want it back then you’re going to have to step outside with my brother and me,” Hoss called back coldly, never taking his eyes off the other man.

“Outside now,” Adam insisted and forced his deadly gaze on the gunman.  J.T. walked out of the bar with both Cartwrights at his heels.

“You upset because I out drew you, Cartwright?” J.T. remarked sarcastically.

“No — I’m upset because of what you did to my little brother.  Now you’re going to tell Hoss and me who was in this little scheme with you and Preston.”

J.T. shook his head and replied, “You wouldn’t be talking so big if I had my gun.  But, I have other guns — just you wait until I get another and we can handle this.”

Hoss nodded over at Adam and watched as his brother removed his holster and handed it over.  “Hold this for me for a bit, Hoss,” Adam said and then spun around and knocked J. T. down into the street.

The gunman was quick to get back up and readied to throw a punch at Adam which was caught in mid-air.  Adam pounded a fist into J.T.’s jaw, sending him sprawling onto the street again.  He slowly pulled himself to his knees but before he could get to standing Adam slugged him again, this time catching him across the right cheek opening a gash there.  Blood poured down from the gunslinger’s face.  He fought to catch his breath as the angered brother pulled him up into his hands and punched him in the breadbasket, knocking the wind out of J. T. The gunman fell to the ground, and this time didn’t try to get back up.

Adam went down to his knees and pulled J.T. up by his shirt collar and said, “Tell us who was in on this or I’ll just let my other brother here finish what I started!”

Hoss rolled up his shirt sleeves and smiled down at J.T.  “Oh please don’t tell us yet —- I sure would like to have my turn!”

“No!” J.T. shouted and shook his head.  “I’ll tell you — I’ll tell you!  Don’t sick that ox on me!”

“Okay – who was it?  Who took our brother?” Adam asked again, shaking the man roughly.

“Two brothers — it was two brothers.  I never met them — but I heard Preston say their names.  That’s all I know — I was long gone before anyone got to your brother!”

“What are their names?!”  Adam shouted.

“Russ and Clark —- Russ and Clark Winters — that’s who got your brother!”

Adam turned and looked up at Hoss and then back at J.T.  “You’d better be telling us the truth or I swear next time Hoss is going to pull your ears off and stuff them down your throat —and that’s just going to be the start!”

“I’m telling you the truth—- I swear I am!”

Adam stood and dusted his pants off.  Hoss looked down at J. T. and said, “You want your gun back?”

“Yeah — I do!”  J.T. replied, still lying in the dirty street.

“Okay,” Hoss answered and then walked over to the nearby horse trough.  He dropped the weapon down into the water.  “There you go.  Oh –and just so you know —we aren’t done with you!  We’ll be back to take care of both you and your old boss Preston.  And you’d better pray you told us the right names too!”

Both Cartwrights walked down the dark street to retrieve their horses.  They would be heading into Virginia City to talk to the sheriff to see if he had any information on the names of the men that J.T. had given up.  Adam and Hoss prayed that J.T. had been honest, but they couldn’t be sure.  Time would tell.

************

Doctor Paul Martin had come out to the Ponderosa ranch house early that day and had examined Joe’s leg.  He was very pleased to see how the boy’s leg was healing and how well the new-fangled leg brace had helped.

“Joe, if you take care of yourself, you’ll be out of that thing in no time.  Your incision looks real good.  How’s it feeling?”

Joe nodded towards the doctor and responded, “It’s okay, Doc.  I can get around pretty good without my cane most days.”

Doc looked up at Ben and noticed concern on his face and he could tell that there were other things bothering him other than his son’s leg.

“Well, you just take it easy, Joe.  Okay, I won’t worry you any more for today.  I’ll see you in a week or so,” Paul patted his patient’s shoulder and turned out of the boy’s bedroom with Ben at his side.

“Okay, Ben, I can tell that you’ve got something bothering you.  So what is it?”

Ben sighed and said, “Joseph — his nightmares have gotten worse but he still can’t talk about any of it.”

Doc nodded and answered, “Yes, I heard from Doctor Peele earlier this week.  He told me all about what Doctor Wallace had tried to do.  I don’t know what else to tell you, Ben.  I wish I did.  But, somehow Joe has to unlock all of what he went through or he’s not going to get over it.  Just try to be patient.”

“I’ll try, Paul.  Can you stay for lunch?”

“I’ll take a rain-check, Ben.  I’ve got a couple young ladies in town who both are due to have their babies in the next couple of days so my time is limited.  I’ll be seeing you soon.”

“Thanks again,” Ben called to the other man as he hurried out to his surrey.

Joe came back down into the living room after he had eased back into his leg brace.  Walking over to his father he looked up at him.

“Pa, I think I’m going to go help Hop Sing for a bit.  He asked me earlier and there’s not much else I can do,” Joe said and turned for the kitchen.

Ben watched as his son limped off into the other room to help the cook.  He hoped that perhaps a little time spent with the Oriental member of the family might make Joseph feel better, if only temporarily.

Joe had assisted Hop Sing in peeling carrots and potatoes and doing other forms of preparation for supper that night.  Ben had hoped that both Hoss and Adam would be returning, and Hop Sing was making a special dinner for them.

“Hop Sing out of sugar,” the cook said and frowned as he looked inside his canister.  “Must get some out of the supply room.”

Joe stood and tried to stretch out his injured leg.  “I’ll get it, Hop Sing.  I need to move around a bit, my leg is getting kind of locked up on me.  I’ll bring you back a bag of sugar.”

“Thank you, Little Joe!” the cook called as the boy walked out of the kitchen and headed to the supply room just outside.

Joe entered the large storage room which was filled with wheat, sugar, and other staples which were kept in larger quantities out there.  He made it over to the shelf where he spied a large ten pound bag marked sugar.  Just as he reached up to lift it down his eyes fell to the floor.  There was a small dish with some kind of liquid inside, and next to it there was the body of a dead rat.  There was blood coming out of the rodent’s mouth.

Joe screamed out in horror and went down to his knees.  He touched at the rat and yelled, “No! God No!”

Both Ben and Hop Sing heard the commotion and met in the kitchen.

“Where is Joe?” Ben asked, confused as he thought he had heard the shouts coming from the kitchen where his son was supposed to be working.

“Hop Sing send boy to get sugar from storage, Mister Cartlight!”

Ben hurried outside and pushed his way inside the storage room.  He could see his son knelt down alongside the dead rat.  His mouth fell opened in horror at the sight, not knowing what to do.

“Why?  Why did they have to kill him?” Joe called over to Pa.  “Why?”

Ben cautiously moved over to his son, afraid to make any sudden moves at the time.  He could tell that Joe was caught up in his memories once again.

“Joseph — it’s alright, Son.”

“No –No, Pa!  They killed my rat!  They shouldn’t have killed my rat.  He was mine — he was all I had – he was the only one I had to talk to!”

Ben touched his son’s shoulder gently, carefully, not wanting to spook him.  “Son, let me take you into the house, okay?”

“No – no, Pa — I have to bury my rat,” Joe insisted as tears drifted down from his eyes and spilled onto his cheeks.  He tenderly reached down and touched the rat’s body.

Ben’s face flinched, not wanting his son to touch the dead animal.  Hop Sing walked to the door to the storage room, his face filled with confusion.

“Hop Sing — go and get us some newspaper please,” Ben asked the cook.

“What wrong, Mister Ben?  Hop Sing must keep rat from food – what happen?”

“Just go and get us some newspaper,” Ben insisted, and shot the other man a stern look.

Hop Sing hurried to find where he had thrown the last edition of the Territorial Enterprise as Ben continued to kneel next to his youngest son.

“It’s my fault, Pa – I was talking too loud — they heard me and that’s why they’ve killed my rat.”

“No, Joseph, it wasn’t your fault,” Ben insisted and looked up to see Hop Sing hurrying in with newspaper in his hands.

“Here, Mister Ben,” Hop Sing called and handed over the paper.

Joe grabbed the newspaper and wrapped the rat carefully inside of it.  “I’m going to bury my rat, Pa,” Joe said and stood and eased out of the storage room.  Ben followed closely behind, grabbing a shovel off to the side of the porch.

Motioning his son over to a place off to the back side of the ranch house Ben took the shovel and lifted up some of the soil.  He dug a hole down about eighteen inches deep and then waited for Joe to make his move.  Carefully going down onto his knees, the boy wrapped the newspaper gently to cover the rat.

“I’m so sorry — I’m just so sorry,” Joe whispered and then lowered the newspaper down into the hole.

Ben shoveled the soil back on top of the hole and soon had it filled in.  He watched as Joe pulled himself to standing and stood there with tears still running down his face.

“It was my rat, Pa,” Joe sobbed.  “They shouldn’t have killed my rat, Pa.”

Ben dropped the shovel and drew closer to his son, settling his arm around the boy’s shoulder.  “Let’s go back inside, Son.  You got him buried now —there’s nothing else you can do.”

Leading his son back inside the ranch house Pa was beginning to worry about how much more his son’s mind could take.  Joe wasn’t getting better, by all signs he was getting far worse.  Ben knew that something had to happen in order to force his son to face up to what had happened at the cabin, but he had no idea what it would be.  He had no way of knowing that it would, indeed, happen in the very near future.

************

Ben peered out the window behind the desk in his study as he heard riders enter the front yard.  He was relieved to see both of his sons heading into the barn to put away their horses.

“Hop Sing the boys are back!” Ben sang out and moved to the kitchen.  “I’m sure they’ll be hungry.”

“All ready, just need to put on table,” Hop Sing smiled and began to set the platters out.

It wasn’t long before both Adam and Hoss walked inside the house and were greeted warmly by their pa.

“Good to see you both!”

“Thanks, Pa, it’s good to be home,” Adam smiled and undid his holster.

“Smells like roast!” Hoss exclaimed and reached to pat his father’s arm.

“It is, and it’s all ready.  You boys come on and sit down and we can eat and catch up,” Ben insisted and led the way over to the dining table.

“Where’s Joe?” Adam asked, staring over at the empty chair.

Ben frowned and shook his head.  “Your brother had a rough day.  I had to give him a sedative to get him to calm down so he’s asleep.  Let’s eat and then you can fill me in.”

Hoss and Adam stared over at their Pa and could tell that he was upset so they dropped any further questions about their little brother for the time being.

“Turns out old J.T. might be good with guns but he ain’t worth his salt when it comes to using his fists, Pa!  You should’ve seen how Adam took care of him!”

Ben stared over at both of his sons and waited to hear the rest of the story.

“He gave us two names, Pa.  He said there were two brothers, and of course he swore he wasn’t a party to kidnapping Little Joe, but that he had heard Preston mention Russ and Clark Winters,” Adam explained.

“So?  You boys think he was telling the truth?” Ben questioned warily.

Hoss shrugged his shoulders and replied, “Don’t rightly know, Pa.  But, Adam and I went and stopped by to see Roy on our way home to see if he’d heard of either man.  But, he wasn’t there so we left word with his deputy Clem.  He said he’d let Roy know.”

“Well, at least there’s a chance it was the truth I guess,” Ben returned.  “You boys finish eating.  I appreciate that you both listened to your father and didn’t get into any gun-play.”

“Shucks we always listen to you, Pa,” Hoss grinned.  “We might not always do like you say — but we always listen to you!”

Ben smiled and nodded over to his middle boy, he had tried to make a joke, but it was also a correct assessment.  There were many times that he had told his three sons what he wanted them to do and quite a few times when they hadn’t done it his way.

After supper the three Cartwrights relaxed in the living room and were surprised when a knock sounded on the door.  It was almost nine p.m., a bit late for visitors.  Adam walked to the door and opened it to find Sheriff Roy Coffee standing there.

“Roy!  You’re out awfully late.  Come on in!” Adam led the sheriff into the living room.  “Can I get you some coffee?”

“No thanks, Adam.  Hi Ben – Hoss,” Roy nodded over at the other two men in the room.  He moved closer to the fireplace as Ben stood up and shook the lawman’s hand.

“What brings you out here so late, Roy?” Ben began.

“Just letting you know that I checked into those names once I got back to my office and Clem told me that they were the ones who Bridger said abducted Little Joe.  Look here,” Roy said and drew a poster out of his coat and handed it to Ben.

Ben stared down at the poster which bore the likenesses and names of the two brothers who J.T. had said took Joe.

“I had to go hunt for that as I was just fixing to get rid of it.  Seems those two got themselves shot dead about a month ago trying to steal some horses over by Elko.  They had a bounty on their heads which was already claimed.  The sheriff in Elko positively identified them, Ben.”

Ben passed the poster over to both of his sons and looked back over at Roy.  “I guess that ends one part of this whole ordeal.  But, I haven’t dealt with Preston or J.T. yet.”

“Well, Ben — at least wise those two polecats that hurt your boy so bad are dead – that’s something.  As for Preston and J.T., well, once Joe can stand up to questioning I can arrest both of them.  I just wanted you all to know about these other two so’s you wouldn’t be worried about hunting for them.  I have to get back in to town.”

“Thanks, Roy,” Ben nodded gratefully and walked the man to the door.  Once the sheriff was gone he turned back towards his two sons.  “I guess that’s not exactly what we wanted, was it?  I know you two wanted to get your hands on those two as much as I did, right?”

Hoss and Adam both sighed, as their father was absolutely correct about their need for revenge.  “I guess the fact that they’re dead is something — not as satisfying to helping them get there — but something,” Adam agreed.

“You gonna tell Joe, Pa?” Hoss asked worriedly.

Ben’s gaze trekked up the stairs to his son’s room.  “Tomorrow – once I know he’s doing better I’ll tell him.  Today he had an episode.  He was helping Hop Sing and went to get a bag of sugar out of the storage room and there was a dead rat there.” Ben explained, pain showing on his face.

Adam and Hoss exchanged surprised glances with each other and then looked back at their father.

“It took your brother back to that cabin and what happened with the rat there.  He insisted it was his rat — and I helped him bury it.  By the time I got him back to his bedroom he needed to be sedated.  Fortunately I still had a few of those tablets that Paul gave me for the trip.  He’s going to sleep for a while.”

“Poor kid,” Adam whispered.

“I hope knowing that the men who hurt him are dead helps Joe, Pa,” Hoss addressed the worry that was all over his father’s face.

“I hope so too,” Ben nodded and then moved back to sit next to the fireplace.  His eyes shot over to the wanted poster which Roy had left on the coffee table.  He wished that he had been the one who had taken care of those evil men.

***************

The three Cartwrights sat up and talked for a while before calling it a night and going to their bedrooms.  It hadn’t taken long for both brothers to fall to sleep, being tired from their long ride that day, but Ben had a harder time.  It was around one in the morning when he finally fell into a deep sleep.  However, just two hours later he awoke abruptly thinking he had heard someone walking downstairs.  He donned his robe and slippers and decided to see who was stirring.

From the top of the staircase Ben looked down into the living room to see Joe sitting on the coffee table apparently deep in thought.  He slowly made it down and over to the boy.

“Joseph?” Ben whispered and moved to sit next to the boy.  “Are you okay?”

“No, Pa — I’m not okay,” Joe responded quietly.

“What is it?”

“That rat — it wasn’t my rat — was it, Pa?” Joe asked and tried to look into his father’s eyes to see if he could read truth.

Ben sighed and draped his arm around his son’s shoulder and answered, “No, Joseph, it wasn’t.”

Joe dropped his head down into his hands and rocked his head back and forth.  “No — it couldn’t have been — because they made me eat my rat, Pa.  I remember that they forced it down my throat.  I don’t know what I was thinking, but seeing that rat laying there on the floor dead I was sure it was mine.  But that rat was poisoned — it wasn’t stomped – that’s what they did to my rat,” Joe forced his gaze on his father and asked with an urgency to his voice, “Now have you changed your mind yet about me being crazy, Pa?”

“I want you to stop saying that.  The doctors all told you that you aren’t crazy and I’ve told you that as well.  Joseph, you’ve gone through trauma — that’s why you get confused at times.  You just get mixed up once and a while but that doesn’t make you crazy — just troubled,” Pa tried to get through to the boy.

Joe sucked in a deep breath and decided to change the subject.  “Adam and Hoss got back, didn’t they?”

Ben nodded, “Yes, earlier this evening.  They’re fine.”

“Do they know who took me now?”

Pa hesitated, not knowing how much he should tell his son at the time.  Joe noticed that his father hadn’t answered right away.

“Just tell me, Pa —I’m gonna find out,” Joe insisted, looking back up at his father.

“Okay — just a minute,” Ben began and stood and moved across to his desk where he had place the poster.  He brought it over to Joe and handed it to him and watched to see if the boy would have a reaction to the portraits of both outlaws.  Ben sat back down next to Joe and said, “J.T. told your brothers the names and they took the information to Sheriff Coffee and he brought that poster out here to show us.  Those are the men and they were killed somewhere near Elko last month.  They’re dead, Joseph, they can’t ever hurt you again.”

Joe held the poster in his trembling hands and read the names and looked at the two faces.  He handed it back to his father and dropped his head back down into his hands as tears filled his eyes.

Ben reached over to pull Joe closer, trying to shield him from the memories of his captors.  He realized that seeing the pictures and reading the names had gotten to his son.  “That part is over now, Son,” Ben whispered.

Joe brought his head up and stared into Pa’s compassionate eyes and exclaimed, “No, Pa — this isn’t them!”

Ben looked intently over at Joseph and tried his best to see his eyes through the lenses of his glasses.  “Joe — are you sure?  You said you never saw their faces.  Did you or not?”

Joe squeezed his eyes closed as he heard the voices in his head as they had warned him *** You’d better not look at us!  You know what we’ll do to you if you look at us!  Do you want that?  Do you? ***

“Joseph?” Ben called again, trying to break his son from his trance-like state.

“No – no, Pa.  I never saw either of them — if I looked at them they would have —- they would have – they would have hurt me bad – very bad.   No I didn’t look at them – I couldn’t, Pa!” Joe was terrified by the thought of what the two evil men would have done to him had he seen their faces.  He had been warned exactly how they would’ve hurt him and their description of the punishment played out nightly in his dreams.  Joe could almost feel his captor’s hands on him as they carried out their threats and it brought on bouts of cold sweats most nights.

“Then how do you know that these weren’t the men, Son?  Did you hear their names?” Ben finally picked up on what must have happened.  “Joseph, did you hear them talking to each other?”

Joe began to speak in a haunting whisper, “Get another bottle, Silas!  Go and get the kid, Thorn, I’m ready for him now!”

Ben turned Joe’s face to stare at him, “Joe?  Is that what you heard?”

“I — I heard them talking, Pa — I heard when they’d get drunk – I heard when they’d drop a whiskey bottle onto the floor.  I could hear it rolling above me on the ceiling down there in the cellar.  I could hear when they’d start laughing and that’s when I knew what would happen next.  I heard them saying that they were gonna come down and drag me up into the light.  Bad things happen in the light, Pa!”  Joe sobbed from the remembrance of all the many times he had been pulled up into the cabin and to the torture which always waited for him there.

“And those were the two names, Son?  Was it Silas and Thorn?” Ben asked one final time to be sure.

Joe simply nodded his head as tears streaked down his face.

Ben tightly held onto his son, now knowing some of the fear that the boy had experienced down in the cellar.  He could just imagine lying down there bound up in the darkness and hearing that someone was going to come down to haul you up the stairs to be tortured.  “Oh, Joseph, I’m so sorry — so sorry that I didn’t find you before all of that happened to you,” Ben whispered, his voice filled with remorse.  His eyes fell down to the poster which was laying there on the table next to where they sat.  He cursed J.T. Bridger for his lies and vowed that he would find whoever harmed his son and that they would pay dearly.  Now, at least he had the names of Silas and Thorn and they had come from the most reliable source possible, the victim of their torture; Joseph.

***********

Sitting alone at the dining table the next morning Joe stared over at the three vacant chairs.  He had no idea where his family had gone so early in the morning.  Of course he had slept in a bit, as it was now nearing nine a.m. Hop Sing walked in from the kitchen and stared over at his former charge.

“You ready to eat now, Little Joe?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and nodded over to the cook.  “I guess so.  Hey where is everybody?”

“Mister Cartlight, and brothers say they go to town and to tell you when I see you.”

Joe reached over for the coffee and poured himself a cup.  He noticed that Hop Sing was staring down at him.  “What?” Joe asked.

“Here some sugar, Little Joe,” Hop Sing passed over the sugar bowl and handed the boy a teaspoon.  Joe waved them away.  The cook persisted and moved closer to the young man.  Hop Sing took the teaspoon and drew out some sugar and then handed the spoon over to Joe.  “All you need do is put in to cup now.  You see — not hard.”

“I know it’s not hard,” Joe announced, very loudly.  “Just leave me be.”

“Then use other hand,” Hop Sing wasn’t willing to give up yet.

“What?” Joe asked, not understanding why the cook wasn’t easing up on him.  He was sure that Pa had informed Hop Sing about why he couldn’t use any utensils.

“Use right hand, Little Joe, maybe that not so hard?”

“Hop Sing this has nothing to do with my right hand or my left hand it has to do with ME!” Joe shouted and stood from the table.

“You must try.  Now sit down please,” Hop Sing was insistent and reached for Joe’s arm to ease him back into the chair.

Joe shook his head and reluctantly sat back down.  “Hop Sing, every time I tried to use anything whether it was a spoon or a fork I got hurt,” Joe tried to explain.

“Nobody to hurt you now, Little Joe,” Hop Sing whispered and drew some sugar back onto the teaspoon and simply passed it over to the boy.  “You just drop into your cup.”

Joe drew in a deep breath and took the spoon carefully into his left hand and let it fall into his coffee cup.

“That vely good!  Now Hop Sing go and bring in breakfast,” the man smiled and headed back into the kitchen.

Joe looked down at his cup and then slowly began to stir his coffee.  He closed his eyes and fought off his fear as he pulled the spoon back out of the cup.  It was a start, Joe thought, as he drew the drink up to his mouth.

***********

Roy Coffee leaned back in his chair there inside the Virginia City Jail and stared over at the three men.  He could read both anger and determination on their faces.

“Ben, I don’t remember hearing either of those names, but I don’t mind checking around about them.  I could send some wires out to see if any other sheriff has heard tell of those two.”

“I wonder if they have a record, Roy?” Ben questioned, figuring if they were as evil as he knew them to be that maybe they had done some prison time.

“Don’t know, but without a last name it’s gonna be hard to trace them with the Territorial Prison.   Just give me a little bit of time to see what I can do, okay?” Roy offered and stood up from his desk.

“We’re going to go back to Carson City and ask around in the meantime,” Adam announced as he and Hoss turned for the door.

“Alright, Boys, just let me know if you find out anything.”

“We will, thanks, Roy!” Hoss smiled over at the sheriff as he walked out of the office followed by his father and brother.

“I’ve got to get back to your brother, Boys.  Be careful,” Ben addressed his sons as he walked over to Buck.

“We will, Pa — we should be back before dark,” Adam answered and swung up into his saddle.  Hoss followed suit and they quickly turned their mounts and headed off towards Carson City, and hopefully some sign of their brother’s captors.

************

Two agonizing weeks went by slowly for the Cartwright family.  Not much had come about in regards to tracking down the two evil brothers.  Adam and Hoss had learned from Cosmo at the Crystal Palace Saloon in Carson City that he had heard those two names in passing but couldn’t place the faces.  The two Cartwrights had gotten the same story from everyone else they had asked from Virginia City to Carson City, with various people remembering the names but not being able to recall what either man had looked like or what their last name was.  Roy Coffee had checked all of the posters which he had stored in the back room of the jail in the hopes that he might luck into spotting the names of Silas and Thorn and learn a last name to go with them.  But, that too, had proven to be fruitless.  In the meanwhile time dragged on for Joe Cartwright.  Though his injured leg was healing fast, he fought the memories of his imprisonment daily.  The heart pounding nightmares persisted and he couldn’t count how many times Pa had to shake him out from underneath them.  The very small triumph of handling a teaspoon to put sugar into his coffee was the only achievement he had mastered.  Joe still couldn’t handle eating with a fork or a spoon and he had to be coaxed into sitting with his family at the dinner table most nights.  While they feasted on roast and side dishes he had to settle for sandwiches or whatever else he could manage with his hands.  Joe was about to fall into total despondency and if he could have simply quit on life altogether he would have.  But, with his father and brothers urging him on daily Joe had been forced to continue to live.

Just shy of three weeks since Joe had informed his father of the names of the two men who had tormented him, Roy Coffee made another visit to the Ponderosa.  He rode into the front yard and noticed Ben seated on the porch.

“Ben — hey Ben, I’ve got some news!” Roy shouted over to the other man and hurriedly dismounted.

Stepping down into the yard, Ben moved to greet the sheriff.  “What is it?”

“Just got this letter today and thought I’d get it right out to you,” Roy returned and handed it to his friend.

Ben studied the letter, going over all of its contents a few times in order to digest the news held inside.

“Took that warden quite a while to do it, but he did!  So those two brothers served four of a five year sentence for assault and robbery.  They got out about two years ago, Ben.”

“Silas and Thorn Dalton,” Ben spat out full of hatred for the men.  “I sure am glad that the warden persisted.  At least that’s something.  Not too much of a description in here though, Roy.  There aren’t any old posters out somewhere?”

Roy shook his head and sighed, “Couldn’t get quite that lucky, Ben.  They got picked up right after their crimes so no posters were ever needed.”

Ben held his right index finger up to his lips, deep in thought, as he read what the warden had written again.  “It says here that Silas Dalton is fifty- something, short and balding, and his brother Thorn is in his forties and is tall with brown hair.”

“It’s a whole lot more than we’ve had, Ben,” Roy nodded.

“Well, it is a help and gives us a good starting point.  Maybe now Adam and Hoss can go back and ask around in Carson City and he can tell Cosmo what they looked like.  He said he remembered the names but couldn’t place them.  Also having that last name will help us to see if they’ve checked in at any hotel.”

“I’ll keep asking around on my end, Ben.  Let me know if your boys come up with anything,” Roy insisted and mounted his horse.

Ben walked over to the lawman and shook his hand and said, “Roy, I just can’t tell you how much I appreciate all you’ve done.  Thanks so much!”

“No thanks needed, you know that, Ben.  I’ll see you soon, goodbye for now,” Roy smiled and sent his horse into a gallop.

***Silas and Thorn Dalton — you’re dead men when I find you *** Ben thought to himself and turned into the house.

*************

With renewed determination, Adam and Hoss headed out to Carson City with the new information that their father had provided.  They were able to talk to Cosmo but he still couldn’t recall when he had actually last seen both men.  The next stop had been to the Emporium Hotel and a talk with the manager.  He checked through his many ledgers and found the name Dalton and that two men had registered about six weeks ago.  He asked the desk clerk if he had remembered either man, and he was able to recall seeing them, now that there was a description and also a last name.  They had stayed four nights and left without saying much.  The desk clerk recalled that one of the men seemed to have quite a bit of money in his billfold when he had paid for their stay.  The two Cartwrights had thanked both men for their help and then headed back for the ranch.  They knew that the search would just have to expand to other small towns now.  But, both men felt a surge in determination and had more hope that they’d catch up with the Dalton brothers sooner or later.

Joe listened to all that his brothers had said that evening, sitting there by the fireplace as Adam and Hoss informed Pa on what they had learned.

“We’re going to pack up our saddle bags tonight, Pa, and we plan to stay out there until we find some sign of them,”  Adam explained their next move to Pa and to Joe, who, didn’t seem to be very interested.

“That’s fine, Son,” Ben nodded over to his eldest and then caught the expression on Joe’s face.  He could tell that the boy’s thoughts were on what would happen if his brothers found the Dalton brothers.

“I’m going to turn in,” Joe announced quietly and headed for the stairs.

“Little Brother,” Hoss turned around to cast a look at the boy as he moved away from the family.  “We’re gonna get them, don’t you worry none.”

Joe spun around and anger was written all over his face when he replied, “and just what the hell good will it do?!  They’ve served time before — so they go back in for a few years and get out and do all this all over again to someone else!  Is that the kind of justice that you three have been looking for all along?”

Adam and Hoss exchanged worried glances and then watched as Pa walked across the room and over to Joe.

“Joseph, we have to catch those men.  Now as for what happens when we do – well it will depend if they plan to come along willingly.”

“Oh come on, Pa!  You know that you won’t kill them!  No you’ll bring them back and they might go to jail, meanwhile I’m in my own prison every single day!” Joe shouted.  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore — just go do whatever you want— I don’t care,” Joe sounded out angrily and made his way up the staircase.

“Oh, Pa, the kid is just beside himself,” Hoss tried to reassure his father.  “Once we catch up with those two and they’re either dead or in jail then Joe will be able to go on.”

Ben shook his head sadly, he knew better.  It was very evident to him that Joseph needed more than just to see the perpetrators arrested.  He needed to face up to what the two men had put him through.  Ben felt that Joseph was far more concerned with having to see the Daltons again than whatever sentence they might be given upon their arrest.  “Let’s just get those two first, Hoss.  And, I hope I don’t have to make myself clear again about what I expect from the two of you?  Once you find them I want you to send word to me.  Just keep your eyes on them and give me time to get to you.  I want to be there when we get them,” Ben warned and his sons could tell that he was dead serious.

“We know, Pa,” Adam nodded and walked over to his father.  “We’ll send a telegraph from the closest town once we find them.  And, we’ll keep an eye on them so they won’t get away.”

“Thanks, Boys.  Now go get some rest, you’ve got some long days ahead of you,” Ben called over to both of his sons and turned to go up to bed.

************

Adam and Hoss had ridden many miles the first week after leaving the Ponderosa in their search for information which would lead to the capture of their brother’s tormentors.  They had passed through White Plains, Granite Point and Mill City, stopping in each town in order to talk to every day citizens as well as any local sheriff who might have some knowledge as to the whereabouts of the Dalton brothers.  Not having much luck, they decided to circle around to the town of Sand Dust which was another thirty miles away.  They both missed their own beds and hoped that their luck would change soon.  Adam had sent his father a telegraph from Mill City keeping him apprised of their travels and how it had gone at each town they had checked thus far.

“We should make Sand Dust by tomorrow night,” Hoss called to his brother as he settled the coffeepot above the campfire and spread out his bedroll.

Adam nodded over to his brother and readied their meager meal for the night.  It was beans and bacon again, and he could tell that Hoss wasn’t very happy about it from the look he had given him.

“I’ll buy you some real grub tomorrow, Brother,” Adam grinned and set the pot on the hook next to where Hoss had started the coffee brewing.

“I miss my bed,” Hoss groaned as he chucked a stone out from under his blanket.

“I miss some peace,” Adam laughed.  “But, this will be worth it if we have any luck tomorrow.”

“Yeah, we can’t do any worse than we have the last eight days.  I hope Pa and Joe are doing okay.”

Adam leaned back against his upturned saddle and replied, “Well, Pa will be lots better once we have some real news to tell him.  As far as our little brother —well—I just don’t know anymore, Hoss.  Kid’s got me worried.”

Hoss frowned and turned to cast a glance towards his brother and said, “Yeah, I know what you mean.  When we catch those varmints I’m not at all sure what’s gonna happen.  You reckon what Pa will do?”

Adam shrugged his shoulders and returned, “Pa talks a good game, Hoss, and though I know he wants to kill those men just like we both do, I don’t think he will do it.  Now — if they give us a reason — well that will be different.”

“I just want all this to be over — I want Joe to be Joe again.”

“Amen to that, Hoss.  Well, let’s eat and get a good night’s sleep.  When we get to Sand Dust at least we know some people there who might help us.”

Hoss nodded and reached over to pour the coffee.  He silently sent up a prayer that Sand Dust would prove to be the big break that they needed.

*************

Ben Cartwright was fit to be tied.  He had tried to find where his youngest had run off to and hadn’t had any luck.  Ben had gone up to Joe’s bedroom to check on him as the boy never made it down for breakfast that morning.  Pa had given him an extra two hours before heading up there, since he was well aware that Joseph had awakened with yet another nightmare around two a.m., and he figured the boy  could use the extra sleep to make up for the interruption.  Joe was not in his room, however his leg brace was.  Ben had been told by the surgeon that his son needed to keep the brace on for a full six weeks and only thereafter could he even think about getting it off.  Doctor Richards had flat out told Joe that he would have to be checked out by his local physician before he could take the brace off of his injured left leg.  But, there the brace was, just leaning against Joe’s chair.

Going into the barn Ben was relieved to see that Cochise was still in his stall, so at least Joe hadn’t done anything really dangerous like going for a ride on his horse.  However, Ben knew it was foolish for the boy to be out walking somewhere without the assistance of that leg brace.

“Joseph!” Ben yelled for the third time as he stood next to the front corral.

Just when the worried father was about to go and get his horse to go look for his son elsewhere, Joe appeared coming from around the back of the ranch house.

“Joseph!” Ben sang out aggravation in his tone.  “What are you doing?”

Joe walked closer to his father and answered, “I’m not doing anything.”

“Why are you out here without your leg brace, Young Man?”

Joe frowned and shook his head, “I don’t need the thing anymore.  I’m walking fine without it.”

“You know Doctor Martin has to give you the okay before you’re supposed to take it off,” Ben scolded.  He couldn’t help getting angry, as he was worried that his son might re-injure his leg.

“It’s my leg,” Joe muttered and started to walk away from his father.

Ben reached out and grabbed his son’s arm turning him around and preventing him from walking away.  “What’s wrong with you?”

Joe broke the hold and backed away.  “Nothing’s wrong with me I’m just fine — or haven’t you been paying attention?” Joe returned, sarcasm coming out with his reply.

Ben took a good look at Joe and read so many things on his son’s face.  He could definitely see anger, but it was mixed with fear.  “Joe – is this about your brothers again?” Ben asked with a forced calm to his voice.

Joe looked down at the ground and away from his father’s worried gaze.  “I don’t want to talk about it, Pa.  I’m tired — I’m gonna go lay down,” he responded, avoiding his father’s question.

Ben drew closer to his son and put his hand on his shoulder and tried again.  “Joe, I know you’re upset – but it’s not helping anything by avoiding talking to me.”

“I don’t have anything to talk about, Pa,” Joe whispered and walked towards the ranch house leaving his father standing there with concern written all over his face.

Ben felt helpless as to what he could do to take away his son’s pain.  Joe had been very mercurial as each day passed.  Sometimes he saw one hundred per cent rage on his son’s face and sometimes he only saw complete and total fear.  Ben prayed that Adam would send word very soon that the evil brothers had been caught.  Pa wasn’t exactly sure how he would handle the situation once he headed out to join his other sons.  Part of him wanted to kill the ones who had harmed his boy, and the other part of him wanted to simply torture them and then turn whatever was left over to the law.  Sighing to himself, Ben headed inside the house to check on Joseph whether the boy wanted him to or not.  He was also going to insist that his son put that leg brace back on, and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer this time.

**********

Samuel Hazelton was a big man standing over six feet six inches tall.  He also was a very seasoned sheriff, having held the position in the town of Sand Dust for over twenty years.  The town’s folk admired the sheriff who everyone knew was both fair and a no- nonsense kind of person.  He had helped Ben Cartwright quite a few years ago when a doctor had gotten a hold of his son Joseph and left him hurt and alone in his office and simply skipped town.  Ben had turned to the sheriff for help in getting Joe safely out of town, and he hadn’t let him down.  Now, looking up at the man’s two older boys, Samuel could tell he was needed to assist the Cartwrights once more.

“So, these Dalton brothers abducted your brother Joe and held him against his will for three months?” He asked the two Cartwrights, who now stood in his office asking for help.

“That’s right, Sheriff,” Adam answered.  “And we’ve been out trying to find anyone who knows anything about them.”

Samuel shook his head as he leaned back in his chair.  “Your younger brother sure finds himself in the worst kinds of fixes, doesn’t he?”

“You can say that again!” Hoss exclaimed.  “I know you helped my Pa years back when Joe was hurt by that quack doctor, so you know some of what my brother has gone through.  But, this time, Sheriff, those men really did a number on Joe!  That poor kid is hurt beyond words.”

“I might be able to help you boys,” Samuel nodded and stood to get some coffee.  He poured three cups and handed two over to the brothers.  “I’ve heard of those men, in fact they were here just a few days ago.”

Adam and Hoss exchanged surprised glances and looked hopefully at the sheriff.

“You met them?” Hoss asked.

Samuel nodded and answered, “Yeah, they were over at the saloon drinking pretty heavily.  I stopped in to check the situation out, but other than being loud they didn’t get themselves into any trouble so I only got their names from the bartender, just in case. There was just something about them that didn’t sit quite right with me.”

“So we missed them by how many days?” Adam inquired, setting down his coffee.

“It was two days ago.  I heard they were heading down towards Lone Pine — least that’s what they told Molly who works there at the saloon.”

“I guess we’d better head out,” Adam returned.

“Just hold up a minute,” Samuel stood back up and called over to the two men.  “It’s late and you two have been on the trail for a while, how about getting some dinner and staying overnight?  You wouldn’t get far in the dark anyhow.  We’ve got a nice hotel and the food’s not too bad.”

Hoss stared over at his brother and said, “Adam – what do you want to do?”

“Let’s go get that food and then settle in at the hotel.  The sheriff is right and besides I can send a wire to Pa so he’ll know where we’re heading and what we’ve learned today.  Oh, and Sheriff, my brother and I would sure like to take you to dinner, how about it?”

Samuel smiled and walked over to grab his hat.  “I could use a good steak and by the looks of your big brother here I reckon he could too!  Let’s go!”

The three men headed over to the hotel where they’d find a good meal and the Cartwright brothers could also get a hot bath and a decent bed.  Adam and Hoss now had a direction in which to head in order to find the Dalton brothers and they finally felt that the hunt was almost over.

***********

Joe happened to pass by his father’s room the next afternoon and could see he was next to his bed and packing up his bedroll.  Pa had been closed mouth about the telegraph that Fletcher had brought to the house the night before.  Now Joe figured that his father was heading out to meet up with Hoss and Adam.  He also assumed that meant that they had located the Dalton brothers.

“You’re going to meet up with Adam and Hoss, aren’t you?” Joe called into his father’s room from out in the hallway.

Ben spun around surprised by his son’s sudden appearance and what he had said.  He stopped packing for a moment and stood up and turned towards the boy.  “Yes, Joseph — I’m going to join up with them in Sand Dust.  I’m leaving in about an hour.”

Joe leaned against the doorframe of his father’s room and frowned.  “Okay, so you catch up with them and then what?  You go and find the Daltons and put them in jail?  Is that what you want?  Is that justice, Pa?”

Ben walked closer to his son and stared at him.  He could see the mixed emotions written all over the boy’s face.  “Joe, the most important thing is to get them.   Now as far as what happens when we do — well it will depend.  Maybe they’ll put up a fight?  If they do then we know the outcome will be that they aren’t brought back alive.  I can’t promise you either way, but we have to do something.  They just can’t get away with what they did to you, Son!” Ben tried his best to get through to Joe.

“They already got away with what they did to me.  I can never get back what they stole from me, Pa!” Joe insisted, and inadvertently tears began to fill his eyes.  He reached underneath his glasses and pushed them away and then turned and walked away from his father.

Ben followed his son down the hall and grabbed his elbow to prevent Joe from going into his room.  “Joseph — I know that capturing those men won’t solve all that you’re still going through — but we have to do it.  If you will just talk to me — confide in me — maybe I can help you deal with all you were put through?”

“Pa – nothing’s ever going to help me —- don’t you understand?” Joe returned bitterly, still so full of painful memories which he couldn’t entrust to anyone; not even to his Pa, the man who he trusted most in the world.

“When I get back — maybe then — maybe then we can talk this out?” Ben asked, hoping that catching or even killing the ones who had hurt his son would be the catalyst that would help Joe to open up to him.

“Goodbye, Pa,” Joe returned sullenly and walked into his bedroom closing the door behind him.

Standing outside his son’s bedroom Ben leaned against the closed door and shut his eyes as he thought to himself, *** I’m doing this for you, Son, and I’m doing this for all of those who care about you.  I just can’t let those men get away with what they did to you!   Lord willing they’ll put up a fight and we’ll be bringing them both in dead.  It’s not going to take away your pain, but it has to be done to start the healing process.  I hope that someday you’ll understand why I had to leave you in order to do this.  I couldn’t protect you from them for all of those months – I wish to God that I could have!   But I can see to it that they’ll never hurt you again.  I love you, Joseph. ***

**********

Adam and Hoss had waited two days there in Sand Dust due to the telegraph that their father had sent back to them.  He had informed his boys to wait for his arrival so that the three of them could go after Silas and Thorn Dalton together.  Neither of the Cartwright brothers were very thrilled to have to wait on their Pa, as they were more than ready to get their hands on the evil perpetrators.  But, they had told the man that they would let him be in on the capture so they would have to keep their word.  They were well aware that Pa had blood in his eyes and that wasn’t going to go away until those men were either dead or on their way to the Virginia City Jail.

Ben knocked the dust off of his hat as he climbed the stairs to the Arcadia Hotel.  He spotted the proprietor, John Casey, a man he had met years ago when Joe had been rescued from the doctor’s office there in town.

“Good to see you again, Mister Cartwright!” John smiled as he turned from the front desk and shook the other man’s outstretched hand.

“John, it’s nice to see you as well.  How’s your wife?” Ben felt like he needed to at least try to be sociable though all he really wanted was to find his two sons.

“She’s just fine, visiting her sister for a week.  I’ll tell her you came by and asked about her.  Now I guess you’re looking for your boys, huh?”

Ben nodded and smiled over at the man.  “Yes, I’ve ridden pretty much straight through from my ranch to catch up with them.”

“Will you want a room for tonight, Ben?”

In response, Ben walked over to sign the guest register.  “I guess I could use a bath and at least one good night’s sleep before the three of us head on out.”

John Casey grabbed a room key and handed it over to the other man.  “Number five just next door to where your sons are staying in room four, Ben.  I believe I saw them come in a few minutes before you arrived.”

Ben nodded to the man and took the key from him.  “Thanks, I’ll see you in a bit,” He returned and headed for the staircase leading up to the guest rooms.

Knocking on the door to room four Pa called out, “Adam — Hoss I’m here!”

Hoss was quick to open the door and smiled broadly down at his father.  “Dad gum it you sure made good time, Pa!  It’s good to see you!”

Ben moved into the room and greeted both of his boys.  “I headed out the afternoon after I got your message,” he explained and sat down in a side chair next to the two double beds.

“I sure hope those two criminals haven’t gotten to far down the road, Pa,” Adam remarked and clapped his father on the back to welcome him.

“We’ll get them,” Ben nodded with a look of total confidence on his face.  “They don’t know we’re after them and I’d imagine since it’s now been quite a few weeks since they left Joe in Littleton that they think they’re in the clear.”

“We gonna head out now, Pa?”

“No, Hoss, not yet, I need some sleep — I only stopped a few hours and I’m pretty beat.  I want to make sure that we’re all awake and extremely alert when we catch up with those two animals!”

“How about we go get some supper and then you can get a bath to relax you before turning in?” Adam suggested.

Ben nodded his agreement and stood back up again.  “I’ve got to go fetch my saddlebags first.”

“Shucks, Pa, I’ll go take care of that and I’ll go put Buck at the livery with our horses.  Now nobody start eating until I get back here!” Hoss quipped and headed out to get his father’s things and his horse taken care of.

“So, how were things with Joe when you left, Pa?” Adam asked as he watched Pa sitting back down in the chair wearily.

Shaking his head Ben sighed and said, “The boy is still not talking very much, Son.  He also took that leg brace off without asking Doc if he could.  There’s just not been a thing I can do for your brother, Adam.  He just refuses any help of any kind.”

Adam reached over and patted his father’s arm in an attempt to provide some comfort to the man.  “Well, let’s see how it goes once we catch those two evil brothers.  Maybe if they put up a fight we’ll be bringing in just their corpses?”

Ben frowned and cast a look into his eldest son’s eyes.  He wasn’t at all surprised to see the same kind of hatred that he had read in Hoss’ eyes whenever he spoke about capturing the Dalton brothers.  “Let’s just handle it as it comes, Son.  I’m surely not saying I want to take them alive, but, we can’t just gun them down either.  Hopefully they’ll want a fight, and if so, well they’ll get it!”

Adam nodded and also spotted the look of revenge there in his father’s eyes.  “Okay, Pa, we’ll see how it plays out.”

“Did you see Sam today?” Ben changed the subject.

“Yeah we saw him this afternoon.   He’s had dinner with us the last two nights,” Adam answered.

“Well, on our way to supper I’d like to go see if he’d like to make it three dinners in a row.  I owe him for all that he helped me with a long time ago — and also for the very first clues as to where the Daltons are.”

“I’m sure he’d like to see you, he’s asked about you every time we saw him.  Hoss will be back soon and we’ll go get the sheriff and then maybe we can get the last decent meal we’ll be having for a while.”

Ben leaned back in his chair and waited for his middle son to return so they could all share a meal before the search that awaited them the next day.

***********

Silas and Thorn Dalton had traveled as though they didn’t have a care in the world.  They still had quite a bit of money left from what they had received from Preston Hilliard for keeping Joe Cartwright imprisoned for three months so they had enjoyed the many towns that they had gone to during the last six weeks.  Of course it never had occurred to them that Joe had finally given up their names to his family, so they hadn’t bothered to try to cover their tracks.  From Sand Dust they had gone straight to Lone Pine, but they hadn’t found much action at the small town and had only stayed a night there.  So, they now were in the process of heading back towards Sand Dust for a night spent there and then planned on riding west towards Granite Point and to a saloon there where there would be lots more action.

Deciding to bed down right before dusk the next day, the two brothers gathered wood for their campfire and readied their evening meal.

“Are you thinking of that saloon girl in Sand Dust, Silas?” Thorn called over to his brother as he set the coffee pot above the newly stoked fire.

“She was okay, but I think I might pass on her.  Now that gal over at Granite Point was more to my liking,” Silas grinned wickedly.

“Yeah probably because she didn’t want anything to do with you is why you liked her better than Molly!  You always like the ones you can’t have,” Thorn laughed and reached for a coffee cup.

“I like any of them that I can get, Thorn!  Molly might have proven to have been just as much of a challenge as that girl at the Golden Nugget.  But it’s not worth it.  I mean I like a bit of a tussle, but I don’t like an all out fight on my hands and Molly just might have struggled a little more than I would’ve cared for.  Besides that pesky sheriff in that town, I didn’t like the looks of him.  Granite Point is a better place to find women anyway, but we can just stop at Sand Dust for a bit.”

“Here,” Thorn said and handed his brother a cup of coffee and the two brothers eased back on their bedrolls.

*************

The three Cartwrights had spotted the campfire and halted their mounts about one hundred yards away from where the Daltons had set up camp.

“You don’t think that’s them, do you, Pa?” Hoss asked, keeping his voice down low.

Ben signaled his two sons to dismount and readied his Colt.  “I don’t know, but we’re not going to take any chances.  If somehow they doubled back towards Sand Dust it just might be them.  Walk quietly to the tree line and we’ll tie our reins there,” Ben whispered.

Stealthily making their way closer to the glow of a campfire, the three Cartwrights neared the two other men.  They were fortunate that there was just enough cover from the thicket of pine trees to ease closer without giving away their position.

Ben simply nodded towards his two sons and they knew he was giving the signal that they needed to remove their six-guns.  Ben pointed for Hoss to head towards the north end of the camp and for Adam to come up from the south while he was going to walk in from the west side.  Squinting off towards their Pa both men waited for the signal of his hand.  Finally Ben raised his arm and waved towards his sons.

The three men rushed the camp and watched as the Daltons tried to reach for their weapons.  Unfortunately, neither of the brothers were sitting close enough to grab their Colts.  Ben had hoped for a shootout, but it wasn’t in the cards.

“Put your hands up!” Ben shouted as he neared the men.

“Hey –what’s all this about?” Silas asked, trying to appear innocent.

Hoss stared down at both of the brothers and he seethed inwardly with hatred.  “You two want to go for those guns?  We’ll let you!” He shouted.

“Yeah, how about trying for those Colts?” Adam asked as he drew closer.

The Daltons looked up at Adam and Hoss and then spotted Ben Cartwright holding his pistol aimed directly at them.  They could read the fierceness on Pa’s face.

“Go for it!” Ben yelled, hoping that one of the two men would reach towards their weapon.

“Uh oh,” Thorn said, shaking his head.  “I don’t think so.  If you men want to shoot us it’s going to have to be in cold blood because we’re not touching our guns!”

“That’s right,” Silas added and watched as the three men exchanged woeful glances towards each other.  “So?  What are you going to do?   And who are you anyway?”

“You know who we are!”  Ben shouted, as he fought with himself over whether to shoot the two men sitting there on the ground.

“Cartwright, huh?” Silas grinned sadistically.

“You too yellow to try at that gun?” Hoss tried to goad the men into a gunfight.

“Nope — not yellow, we’re just not stupid.  So, either shoot us or tell us your plans,” Thorn replied.

Ben drew in a deep breath and cast a glance over to his sons.  “Get the rope, Boys.”

“Maybe we can get a rope to put around their necks, Pa?  You know — like they did to Joe?” Hoss called over to his Pa and he was dead serious at the time.

“Just their arms and ankles for now, Son, there’s plenty of time for all that later,” Ben nodded to his middle boy.

“I’ll go get the horses, Pa,” Hoss sighed, though he really had hoped that the Daltons would do something stupid so he could simply gun them down.

Adam and Ben retrieved the Dalton brothers Colt revolvers and their rifles settling them far away from Silas and Thorn’s reach.  Soon Hoss was back with the horses and tied them there next to the Dalton brother’s mounts.  He walked over to Adam and handed him some rope and one by one they thoroughly tied Silas and Thorn’s wrists and ankles.  Hoss added an extra kick aimed at both of the two brothers sides.  Silas and Thorn both grimaced from the impact.

“Just needed to dust off my boots, Pa,” Hoss explained as he moved to stand next to Adam.

“That’s fine, Son,” Ben smiled and he began to set up their own camp now.  “If they even look like they’re trying to escape you boys have my permission to kill them,” Ben called to his sons and then removed his saddlebags.  “If not, we’ll be heading back in the morning.  But we can take their carcasses back to Sheriff Coffee even easier, so let’s hope they try something.  It’s a two day ride and anything can happen.”

Adam and Hoss smiled over at each other.   They had never quite heard their Pa talk like this before and it was a side of him that they just happened to enjoy seeing.  Pa was a law abiding man, and always had been.  But, the man had been pushed beyond all endurance and there was no telling what might happen on the long journey back towards Virginia City.

************

The vile Dalton brothers had not slept well that night.  Hoss and Adam made sure that not only had they tied both men by their wrists and ankles, but that they had also tied the two men together back-to-back.  So they lay there all night on their sides afraid to move a muscle.  Hoss had called down to them prior to turning in for the evening letting them know that he had kept a part of the end of the rope that bound the two of them together and had looped it around his right boot.   He told both Silas and Thorn that if he felt the rope tug at his foot that he would be shooting first and asking questions later.  They took that to heart and fought to hold as still as humanly possible until morning dawned.

Ben could have taken the time to make bacon and biscuits but he felt an urgency to move on to the high country, wanting to make it to Buckhorn Meadow before nightfall.  He made beans with salted pork for his sons and they ate that while sipping their morning coffee.

“Hey!” Thorn shouted towards the men who held him.  “Don’t we get any food?  We didn’t get any supper last night because of you guys.”

“Never mind, Thorn, they’re not going to give us anything,” Silas grumbled.

Ben cast a look over at both of his sons and motioned for them to hand him a couple of metal plates.

“Pa!  Those skunks don’t deserve a danged thing!” Hoss protested as he watched his father dish out a small amount of beans on both of the plates.

“Pull them up, Adam and sit them against that tree,” Ben pointed over to a big pine tree just a few yards away.  “Help him, Hoss,” Ben insisted.

Begrudgingly, both of the Cartwright brothers did as their father had told them to do and had both men untied from their previous position and leaned them up against the tree.

“Tie their hands up in front of them, Boys,” Ben called across the camp, as he held his Colt on the Daltons.

Adam and Hoss re-tied both Silas and Thorn’s hands out in front of them and turned back to their father.  Ben stood up, two plates in his hands and he moved over to them, now towering over the Daltons.

“Here,” He called down to the both of them and he bent down and set a plate out in front of each man.

“Hey — how about giving us a spoon or a fork?” Silas shouted out.

Ben kneeled down next to the campfire and retrieved a spoon and turned back to the Daltons.  Hoss and Adam shook their heads, very upset that Pa was being so accommodating to the two disgusting men.

“I’ve only got one spoon left, but if you ask me nice I’ll let one of you have it first,” Ben addressed the men.  He had not forgotten what Joseph had confessed inside the stagecoach a few weeks back.  Ben recalled vividly how the boy had spoken out in a whisper of how the men had made him beg for a spoon in order to eat the stew they had said he could have after weeks of only getting beans to eat.

Silas stared up at Ben and wondered if he knew what had happened to his kid back in the cabin.   “Give me a spoon please,” He called out anyway.

“Oh no, that doesn’t sound sincere to me!” Ben replied and then turned to look at Hoss and Adam.  “Did that sound sincere to you boys?” He asked his sons.

Now, finally, both Cartwrights caught on to why their father seemed to be overdoing his concern for the two monsters.  “Um, no, Pa, it didn’t sound sincere at all to me,” Hoss smiled.

“Nope, not to me either!” Adam grinned over at his pa.

“Okay, let’s hear some real sincerity, that is — if you want some grub.  Because if not, well, I’d just as soon pack up camp and be on our way,” Ben addressed Silas once more.

“Will you please give me a spoon, Mister Cartwright?” Silas tried his best to sound less complacent.

“Well — that was a bit better.  Okay,” Ben nodded and dropped the spoon onto the ground.

Silas moved his bound wrists forward to draw up the spoon from where it had fallen.  Suddenly and unexpectedly he felt the heel of Ben Cartwright’s boot come down onto his hands.  He shouted out loudly.

“I guess you boys don’t need a spoon after all,” Ben smiled and pulled the spoon up from the ground.  “Now you have exactly three minutes to stuff those beans down your throats before we pack up camp.”

“How are we supposed to do that?  We don’t have a spoon or a fork!” Thorn shouted.

Ben shot both men a hate filled gaze and remarked viciously, “Use your filthy fingers!”

Turning back towards Adam and Hoss, Pa looked down at both of his sons and his expression had changed from anger to a profound sadness.  “What I just did was what Joseph told me those men did to him.  They crushed his fingers under their boots any time he tried to use a spoon or a fork.  Now you know why your brother still can’t use utensils.”

Adam and Hoss stared up at their father and they both wore an equally pained expression on their faces.

“Bastards,” Adam muttered staring over at the Daltons.

“I’m going to get some air,” Ben whispered.  The memory of how Joseph had confessed just how badly he had been treated had gotten the better of him.  Pa fought his anger and sorrow and then simply walked away.

***********

After they had packed up their camp, the Cartwrights saddled the five horses and dragged the Dalton brothers over to mount up.  Then, with their hands still tied in front of them, Silas and Thorn were surrounded on all sides by the angered father and two brothers as they made their way to the high country.  After four hours in the saddle the Cartwrights stopped by a stream to water all of the horses.  Adam, Hoss, and Pa had taken turns taking their horses down to the waterline and they filled their canteens.  Always keeping a wary eye on the Daltons, each man waited and hoped they’d try to make a move so they could send a bullet towards one or both of the men.  But, neither criminal made a move.

“Hey!  We’re thirsty too.  Come on you’ve got to give us a drink!” Thorn cried out.

Adam reached for the one canteen which had yet to be filled and brought it over to Silas and Thorn.  “Here you go,” He said and first handed it to Thorn.

Upturning the canteen only two meager drops of water came out of it.  “Hey!  I didn’t get nothing out!” Thorn once again yelled over towards Adam.

“Oh I know there were at least a couple of drops of water in there.  I guess you should’ve saved at least one for your brother,” Adam sneered over at them both.

Ben and Hoss turned around to watch as Adam had made sure he got his turn to torment those men who had so badly injured his youngest brother.

“You two won’t die of thirst — though I wish you would!” Ben sang out and settled the newly filled canteens onto the horses.  “If you’re both still alive by the time we make camp we “may” give you a few more drops of water.”

Silas stared over at Thorn and remarked, “You gotta give it to them, Thorn.   These three Cartwrights have a lot more guts than Joe had!”

Ben overheard what Silas had said, and he walked over to the man’s horse and grabbed him by the shirt throwing him out of the saddle.  He then punched Silas squarely in the face.  “You were saying?” Ben asked, readying to throw another punch.

Silas spit out blood from his mouth but didn’t say anything further.  But now he knew exactly how to get at Ben Cartwright if he wanted to do it later.

*************

Ben Cartwright had chosen a good stopping point for the night.  They had made it to Buckhorn Meadow before dusk and made an encampment right alongside a small lake with plenty of pine trees for a wind break.  Riding steadily all day had afforded them the time for Hoss to use his prowess to catch some trout for their dinner.  The three Cartwrights looked forward to eating something besides beans and salted pork that night.  Ben made a batch of pan-biscuits and readied their supper.  The two criminals stared towards their captors hoping that they might let them have some of the food that they were busy preparing.  Adam and Hoss had secured both men up against a very large pine tree so that the ropes went all the way around the prisoners and the base of the pine.  Their ankles were once again bound as were their wrists which were secured in front of them as they had been all day.

“Pa, that trout sure smells good,” Hoss smiled and sat down cross-legged on his bedroll.

“It’s just about done,” Ben nodded.

Adam walked up from the lake and tossed the refilled canteens on the ground next to the campfire.  “This should get us through the night, and I’ve already watered all the horses.

“Thanks, Son,” Ben nodded towards his eldest.

“Looks like a full moon tonight, Pa,” Hoss remarked and stared up at the sky.

Ben set the coffee pot down on the ground and poured three cups for his sons and himself.  “Here you go,” He called, handing Adam and Hoss a cup of the brew.

“Don’t we get anything?  We haven’t had anything to drink all day,” Thorn sounded out loudly.  “Even prisoners get bread and water you know?”

Ben frowned and looked over at his two sons.  “I saved some of the old beans, and after being out in the hot sun all day they should taste pretty bad, so I guess we can let them have some.  It’s going to be their last meal until we turn them over to the sheriff tomorrow — unless they do us a big favor and try something tonight!”

“Okay, Pa,” Adam nodded and scooped out some of the old beans from the metal container which had been inside his father’s saddlebags all day.  He put some onto two plates and stood up.

“I’ll feed them,” The voice from behind the tree line called out.

Caught unawares, all three Cartwrights drew their pistols and aimed in the direction of the sound.  Coming into view was Joseph Cartwright.  He approached his family and they had bewilderment painting their faces.

“Joseph!”  Ben exclaimed as the boy drew closer.

Joe walked over to the campfire, his leg still inside of the brace.  He stood to face his Pa.

“How in the devil did you get out here?” Ben asked harshly.

“I’ve been behind you ever since you left the ranch,” Joe answered matter-of-factly.

“You rode all the way to Sand Dust?” Hoss asked, as he and Adam moved closer to their little brother.

“Yeah,” Joe nodded.  He could see the anger on his father’s face, and tried not to stare over at him.

“Boy, that little stunt might just have cost you that leg being permanently lame!” Ben said with both worry and agitation in his tone of voice.

“I’m okay, Pa,” Joe frowned and then, for the first time since he was imprisoned in the root cellar, looked face to face at the men who had abducted and abused him.

Ben stopped ranting about his son’s foolhardy trip to catch up with his family.  He could tell that the boy’s face had taken on a stricken look as he was forced to view his tormentors for the first time.

“Looks like old home week!” Silas called out over to the boy, and laughed.

“I’ll shut them up!” Hoss yelled and started over to them.

“NO!”  Joe insisted.  “I said I’m going to feed them, Hoss.  And that’s what I’m going to do.  Adam, hand me those plates and a spoon,” Joe called down to his brother.

Adam stared back to his father and over to Joe.  He didn’t know what he should do.

“Go ahead and give Joe the plates, Adam,” Ben sighed.  He had no idea what Joe had in mind but there was no way he was going to try and stop the boy now.

Joe brought the two plates over to the Dalton brothers and knelt down there in front of them.  “I hear you’re hungry, huh?  Here you go!” Joe dropped the spoon to the ground and grabbed a handful of beans and tried to stuff them into Silas’ mouth.  When the man turned his head, Joe yanked it back again and pried his mouth open and tried to get the beans down.  He then proceeded to do the same thing to Thorn, but that time he grabbed a handful of hair to get the man to open up.  Both men started coughing and Joe only stopped what he was doing when he realized that Silas was smiling over at him.  Joe’s attempt to hurt his captors wasn’t having the desired effect, and instead, both men seemed pleased.

Joe hurriedly grabbed the plates and spoon off of the ground and moved back to the camp fire and threw them down.  Neither his father nor his brothers knew what they could do to help Joe, who now looked petrified.  Confronting the Dalton brothers had affected him so much that his body had begun to shake.

“Joseph,” Ben whispered to his son after regrouping a bit.  He placed a hand onto the boy’s shoulder and attempted to look at him.

Joe simply looked away from his Pa’s concerned gaze.  He tried to hide the tears which were starting to form in his eyes there under the dark shaded glasses which he still wore.  Joe internally fought with his feelings.  He had foolishly presumed he’d be able to face both of his tormentors and somehow make them feel as helpless as he had all of those months down in the darkened cellar.  It hadn’t worked.  Now all Joe wanted to do was to run away, but he couldn’t even do that due to his injured leg.  The overwhelming fear was back again and had fallen down on him like a ton of bricks.  It was the exact same feeling he’d had up in the light of the cabin, a feeling of being weak and no longer in control of his body or his mind.  Joe had played out the scene in his head for all the long days and nights that he had followed his father, and later his brothers too, as they tried to catch up with the Dalton brothers.  He imagined how he’d stand up to both Silas and Thorn and make them pay, even in some small way like choking on some beans, for the way that they had harmed his body, soul and mind.  Instead, however, both of the men seemed gleeful to see him attempting any form of payback.  Joe had felt his skin crawl when he had spotted the smiles on the two men’s faces a minute ago.  It was just like back in the cabin when they had laughed at him and mocked and humiliated him.  Joe hadn’t wanted anyone to know that Silas and Thorn had gotten any more tears out of him, especially now.  He was glad that his glasses had afforded him that one small favor at least.  Now, however Joe felt stuck.  He didn’t want to admit that the Daltons had beaten him again, but in all honesty, Joe knew that they had.   There was no getting away from all of the horrifying things which they had done to him for three straight months.  And now, witnessing the way that they had smiled up at him, Joe knew that they were still gloating about all that they had taken from him.

“You know, Thorn, Joe was nothing like Winnemucca’s granddaughter!  Nope – now that gal was feisty!  Once we killed her old man – boy did she put up a fight!  It took us quite a while to take what we wanted from her.  But, well, Joe —- he just laid down like a two-bit Saturday night whore!  Yeah, the kid never fought us at all, did he, Thorn?”

“No, he sure didn’t, Silas,” Thorn piped up, enjoying the way that their words seemed to strike a blow to Joe Cartwright’s face.  They had both seen the way the young man now stood looking both shocked and horrified.  “I think the kid actually enjoyed our company!  He let us do whatever we wanted to and he was always willing to please us from what I recall.”

“Yeah, he was more than willing to let us take him.  Oh – wait —Joe— you did tell your family all about what you let us do to you, right?  I hope I didn’t blurt out anything that you didn’t want them to know?!” Silas sadistically taunted his former captive and then laughed along with Thorn.

Ben, Adam and Hoss looked over at the Dalton brothers absolutely outraged by what they had said.  They turned back towards Joe and noticed the total panic now written all over his face.  He rushed away from the camp, heading off towards the lake.

Filled with wrath, Ben shouted, “Boys, gag them — gag them right now!” He then ran off in the direction of the lake trying to catch up with his youngest.

Hoss and Adam grabbed two bandannas from their saddlebags and quickly gagged each man tightly.  Both of the Cartwright brothers sent a solid punch to each of their prisoner’s stomachs, knocking the wind out of them.   The Daltons had that coming, Adam and Hoss reasoned, for what they had said about their little brother.

“You’d better stop me, Adam,” Hoss thundered, as his hand fell down to his Colt.  “Stop me because I’m about ready to kill both of them right now!”

Adam neared his brother and eased his hand down onto the big man’s arm to steady him.  “Not now, Hoss.  Wait — there will be a time for it —but just hold off awhile.”

Hoss fought with everything he had left inside of him not to either shoot Silas and Thorn or rip them apart with his bare hands.  These were the men who had tortured his little brother.  These were the men who had been responsible for the bite marks on Joe’s back.  He had known that before leaving the ranch, but now it was all too evident what they had done to his brother.  Hoss never before felt the type of rage which now coursed through his veins.  He had hated before, he had been red-faced angry before, but he had never felt the way he did after hearing what Silas and Thorn had said.  Hoss couldn’t believe that the men had dared to laugh about what they had done to Little Joe.  He could only assume that the Daltons were without a doubt insane or that they had a death wish.  Either way, they both deserved to be killed as far as Hoss was concerned.

************

Ben had struggled to find where his youngest had run off to in order to hide from his family and all that had been said there in the camp by the Daltons.  He carefully made his way down to the lake and peered around hoping to spy the boy.  The glow given off by the full moon cast a shimmering line of light across the lake and Ben finally spotted Joseph sitting on a steep embankment.  He slowly, and with great apprehension neared his son.  Ben eased down alongside of the boy, sitting there in the tall grass which surrounded the lake.  There was an uneasy silence which hung in the air as Pa tried to see his son’s face with only the light of the moon to aid him.

Joe hung his head down and fought to say something, though he felt sick at his stomach ever since he had heard what the Daltons had said there in the camp.  He couldn’t believe that they had dared to talk about what had happened while he had been held as a prisoner at the cabin.  Finally, sucking in a deep breath and struggling to find the right words, Joe addressed his father.

Joe’s voice came out with a forced steadiness to it as he whispered, “You knew.”

“Joseph — I — well I –

Joe cut his father off as he fought to pull the words out of his gut.  His voice trembled as he said, “Pa — more than anything I need honesty from you now.”

Ben sighed and chose his response as carefully as he could muster.  He reluctantly admitted somberly, “I knew some of it.”

“How did you find out?” Joe asked, turning for just a brief moment to face his pa.

Ben frowned, not knowing how much he should say.  “I was with Doc the night he examined you when we got you home.”

Joe nodded and gave a short ironic laugh.   “I should’ve known.  Good old Doc.  He was the one who told you what happened to me four years ago.  He told you what I was never going to admit to you back then.”  Pausing for a few anxious moments, he finally continued.  “Did you know because of those bites on my back, Pa?  I remember you kept saying that they were cuts when you were doctoring them.  You were trying to pretend that you didn’t know what they were, but I knew that you could tell that they were bites.  I guess it was pretty easy to figure out how I came to get them, so you knew what had been done to me this time.”

“Joseph, we don’t have to talk about all of this right now,” Ben tried to get his son to let it go for the time being.  He knew how badly the boy felt after hearing all that had been said up at the camp.  He didn’t want to make matters even worse now by offering more details.

“No, Pa, it’s got to come out, just like Doctor Wallace said.  He told me it would all have to come out eventually.  I guess today is “eventually” huh?”

Ben dropped his head down and tried to think of what he could say to help his son deal with all that had happened to him.  He drew a blank, as nothing he could say would ever make the details any easier for Joe to explain.  And, there wasn’t anything he could offer to his son that would make it any easier for his Pa to hear the frightening story that was evidently forthcoming.

“Pa, what they said a minute ago — what they said — well, it was the truth.  I didn’t put up any fight, Pa.  I didn’t resist either of them,” Joe confessed and dropped his head down once more.

Ben touched his son’s arm and insisted, “Joseph, you were tied up, and there were two men.  There wasn’t anything you could have done.”

“No, Pa —you just don’t understand.  Four years ago — I was tied up and there was one man, but you know I fought!  I knew I couldn’t win, but by God I fought!  You know that I did because it was you who untied me afterwards.    I know you could tell how hard I fought.  You remember, my wrists were tied behind me that time,” Joe alluded, just as he had over a month ago inside the darkened barn, to the way he had been bound back then.  In his mind he had always compared both events, and how they were both horrible and yet dissimilar due to how they had happened.

Ben shook his head, as the remembrance of what had happened back at the ranch all those years ago had once more come back to haunt them both.  “What are you saying, Joe?”

“Pa — even if there had been a hundred men I still would have fought!  I know I never would have won, but I would have fought with all that I had in me any way!”

“Then I don’t understand what you are saying about what happened at the cabin?” Ben questioned, confused by what his son had been trying, in a roundabout way, to explain.

Joe whispered, “Pa — it just wasn’t the same type of situation.”   Tears began to form in his eyes as he knew the complete truth would now have to come out at long last.

“Just tell me, Son.  No matter what it is — tell me,” Ben urged his son to finally get his story out into the open.  It had been far too long that Joe had held it all inside of him, and it was killing the boy slowly.

Attempting to swipe away the newly formed tears from under his eyeglasses, Joe drew in a deep breath in order to summon the courage he would need to get through his story.  “Pa,” Joe began, his voice quavering, “I woke up in that root cellar not knowing what was going on.  The last thing I remembered was being at the Hilliard ranch and seeing you and Adam riding away.  I didn’t know where I was, and I had no idea how far away they had taken me.  All I knew is that it was dark and I was tied up,” Joe said and paused again.   His body began to quake as he remembered what had happened the first time he had been taken up the stairs.

Ben draped his arm across the boy’s shoulder as he called over gently, “It’s okay, Joseph — take your time.”

Struggling to describe what had happened, Joe began once more, “The first time — the first time they came down to get me, Pa — I didn’t even see them until suddenly someone pulled me up and dragged me up the staircase.  Then I was forced into the light of the cabin and I could barely see due to spending so many hours in total darkness.  It was just too bright!  Someone forced me down onto a table and held the back of my head so I couldn’t move.  I heard two voices, and they both said that I’d better not look at either of them.  I couldn’t see their faces, Pa.  The only thing I could see was a man standing over by the wood stove.  I only saw his arm and hand because of the way my head was shoved down onto that table.  But, I saw what he was doing,” Joe stopped speaking again, as he felt a sudden chill go up his spine.

Ben sat there, fighting his own emotions as he listened to his son painstakingly trying to explain what had happened to him.  As a father, he was having a very tough time listening to the terror in his boy’s voice.  He knew that Joe needed to get the whole story out in the open, but Ben could tell that it was only going to get far worse.

Joe continued, drawing in another deep breath to force air back into his lungs.  “I could see he was holding a fire poker — about a foot in length and he had just pulled it out of the stove.  Pa — it was red hot — and I didn’t know what he was going to do with it!  I could see him walking closer to the table.  Then the man who was — who was – standing behind me — had a knife,” Joe dropped his head down into his hands and couldn’t fight his tears this time.  He could feel his father’s hand reaching for him trying to console him with his touch.  “Oh, Pa!” Joe cried out.  He was trying to explain all of the frightening details, but he had been transported back to the event in his mind and he was now just as terrified as he had been as it all had played out in front of him months earlier.

Ben whispered, trying to calm his son, “Joseph, are you going to be able to tell me what happened — or do you want to wait for another time to do it?”

“No, Pa —- if I don’t tell you now I’ll never be able to,” Joe insisted, and tried to sit back upright.  He continued, “The man with the knife was standing behind me and he started to cut me, Pa.  He said that they were going to — they were going to,” Joe stopped once more and his body went cold and rigid.  With his last ounce of strength, he finally spoke the horrifying words, “They were going to geld me, Pa!”

Ben involuntarily gasped and drew his hands up to his mouth, so terrified by what Joe had just confessed.   “Oh, God, no,” Pa murmured.  His hand shook as he reached over to touch his son’s arm.

Joe dropped his head down again and then continued, his voice sounding very strained, “They said they were going to geld me, Pa.  The one behind me was still cutting me —and the other man said that once the cutting was done that he was going to put that red hot fire poker on me to stop the bleeding!”

Ben’s stomach knotted up.   In his wildest imagination he never would have presumed that that kind of torture could happen to his son.  He thought back to the night that Doctor Martin and he had examined Joe.  Ben remembered seeing the festered bite marks on his son’s back and he knew that Joe would’ve had to have his shirt off in order for those bites to be so deep.  Both he and Doc had come to the conclusion that Joe had been assaulted and in the most horrible way possible.  However, they never imagined anything as horrendous as what the boy had just admitted to having been done to him.

“I begged them to stop cutting me, Pa!  I wouldn’t have cared if they just went ahead and killed me — it would’ve been better than what they were planning to do.  Pa – I didn’t know if you were out there somewhere looking for me — or if I’d ever be found.  But, if I was found alive — I just couldn’t — I just couldn’t be found like that!” Joe declared.

“Oh, Joseph, what happened?  How did you get them to stop cutting you?”  Pa responded quietly, still tightly holding onto his son’s arm.

Joe sat up and placed his hands over his eyes as he tried to get more of the story out in the open.  “Pa — they said that the only way that they wouldn’t finish what they started was if I — if I — if I agreed to go along with anything that they wanted to do to me.  I had to swear that I wouldn’t fight them on any of it.  They also made me swear I’d do anything they told me to do.  They said that I wouldn’t get a second chance.  If I gave them the least bit of trouble or protested in any way that they would go ahead and finish the job that they had started.  Oh Pa! Pa, I swore that I wouldn’t give them any trouble – and I would do anything they wanted!  I just couldn’t be – I just couldn’t let them, Pa, I couldn’t let them castrate me,” Joe cried and dropped his head down and wrapped his arms around his knees, so swept up in his sorrow and humiliation.  It took a few minutes to gather his courage and to control his voice, but then he fought to continue.  Staring sadly over at his father he hesitantly confessed, “Pa, — they made me do things —they made me say things.  Pa, I had to do and say things that were — horrible — they were degrading — they were unholy and they were unspeakable!  It made what happened to me four years ago seem like it was nothing — absolutely nothing, Pa!  Back then I had to go through maybe ten or fifteen minutes of pain and humiliation and then at least it was over.   But at the cabin it was three months of non-stop pain and fear.  Silas and Thorn took pleasure in hurting and degrading me.  They enjoyed seeing me suffer and hearing me cry due to the pain they were causing me.   And with those two it was almost an everyday thing!  I would rather that they had killed me, but I wasn’t given that choice, Pa,” Joe reiterated.  “I only had the choice of giving in to all that they wanted, or letting them go ahead and castrate me.  Pa, I would’ve rather died than to let them do all of the things that they did to me!  I would’ve rather died than to give in and do everything that they told me to do!  I never thought it was in me to ever surrender, but that’s what I did.  That’s the only way I could stop them from cutting me — and finishing what they had started on that first day.”

Silence fell over the two Cartwrights, neither of them being able to speak.  Ben was so overwhelmed by his son’s confession that he was having a hard time putting his emotions into check for the boy’s sake.  His hands formed into fists over the very idea of all that Joseph had endured.  He just wanted to go back to the camp and kill both of the vile men who had abused his son.  Ben knew that he had to first try to help Joe who, he could tell, was feeling totally destroyed over the memories of his imprisonment and the terrible decision his captors had forced him to make.  He fought to find the right words of consolation to offer his son, but was once again struggling over what he could say that might help.  Ben could tell that Joseph was feeling totally bereft.  He also knew that the boy was at odds with himself over the decision he had made to go along with whatever his captors had told him to say or do.   Pa knew that he wouldn’t be able to ease his son’s mind or provide much comfort to Joseph, not while there was still the issue of dealing with the Daltons.  That situation had to take priority at the present time, but he could try to offer the boy some kind of solace before deciding on how justice would best be meted out.  After that situation was handled, Ben would make sure that he spent more time talking with his son in order to try and help him to heal emotionally.  But at the moment, Pa decided to simply pull his son a little closer to offer him his support in that way.

Joe could almost hear his father’s thoughts at the time as he felt the man drawing him closer.  The boy sucked in another deep breath and wrestled with himself trying to address his persistent fears.   “Pa, every time I’ve told you that there’s pain in the light — this is what I’ve meant.  Pa, there are so many bad things that happened in the light.  And, now they are always with me — they never ever go away,” Joe, at long last, had finally admitted what had caused his phobia and why he had been forced to stay in the darkness.  Then the weight of his confession about the bargain he had made with the evil Dalton brothers sent Joe reaching for his father and collapsing there into his arms.

Feeling as though he should have been able to prevent what had been done to his son, Ben held onto Joseph and wept there along with him.  As he held his youngest tightly in his arms, Pa fought his pervasive fear.  He couldn’t comprehend all of the horrors that his son had suffered through, and he was at a loss as to how to make the memories of them all go away.   Just the thought of what those evil men had forced on the boy made Pa cling to his son.  He could not bear the frightful visions which were playing out in his mind, now that he knew how it had all begun.  Ben thought about the knife which had been used to cut his boy and how it had forced Joe to concede to the Dalton brother’s desires.

Joe’s plaintive voice shook as he called out, “Pa, I don’t know if I did the right thing or not — all I feel now is fear and shame because I went along with all of it.”

“No, Joseph, the shame is not yours, it is theirs.  You weren’t a willing participant it was forced upon you.  It was a no- win situation, Son.  I can assure you that no man would allow themselves to be castrated, no matter what the cost.  It’s just not human nature.  You did the only thing you could do, it wasn’t a choice it was a circumstance, a horrible, damnable circumstance that those sadistic men forced on you.”

Joe’s sobs shook his chest as he clung to his father and relived in his mind all of the ways that he had been abused by Silas and Thorn for three long months.  He could feel his Pa’s hand as it gently stroked the hair on the back of his head and tried to calm him.  Joe could also feel the stray tears that drifted down the back of his neck and he knew that they were from his father’s eyes.

It had taken a good ten minutes before either Joe or his Pa’s tears had abated.  Joe pushed himself back from his father and reached down into his right boot.  He pulled out a knife and looked up at Pa.

“From the moment that I saw those two sitting in the camp tonight all I’ve thought about is taking this boot-knife and cutting them up, Pa,” Joe confessed, as he attempted to wipe away his tears.

“Joseph — if that would take all of this off of you I’d honestly allow you to do it,” Ben admitted nodding his head over to his son.

Joe shook his head and his voice broke as he replied, “I thought I could do it, Pa — I thought I could just go and cut them like they cut me — but I couldn’t.  When I tried to make them choke on the beans they smiled at me, and then I knew — I knew —” Joe couldn’t finish his statement as he was overwhelmed by fear again.

“What, Son?” Ben asked quietly.

“Oh, Pa, I’m still scared of them!  I can’t help it — they still terrify me, Pa,” Joe choked out and then convulsed with tears.   It took a few minutes before he could continue his explanation as to why the Daltons still frightened him so badly.  Finally, he admitted, “I don’t know why, Pa.  I – I know that they are still tied up and I know that I’m not alone anymore—I have the three of you now — but I’m still just so scared.”

Pa tried to comfort Joe as he placed his arm around his son once more.  “That’s only natural, Son, they put you through the unimaginable.   That’s just not something that just goes away easily.  But, you won’t have to see them much longer.  I know how to deal with them now.”

“What, Pa?  Are you going to turn them over to the law?  They’d get five or ten years at the most and be right out and do this again – maybe even coming back to find me!  They’ll get a couple of years and meanwhile I have a life sentence of being afraid!” Joe exclaimed, so sure that his father would just turn them over to Roy Coffee the next day.

Ben tried to calm the boy and whispered, “No, Joseph, I was talking about something else.”

Joe attempted to catch a glimpse of his father, but the dim light along with his shaded glasses prevented him from witnessing the look in Pa’s eyes or seeing the furious expression that was there on his face.

“Pa – I know you’d like to kill them — I know both Adam and Hoss would like to as well.  But, I know you can’t do that, not after all that you’ve told us our whole lives.  I wish to God we could — but that’s not the way you brought us up,” Joe addressed the option he perceived his father was alluding to.

Ben reached over and placed his hand under his son’s chin and replied, “No, Son, I know another option.  I need you to trust me on this.”

“What is it, Pa?”

“Joseph, first of all, I want you to know that the two of us are going to have a long talk about everything that you’ve gone through.  I know you have a lot more to get off of your shoulders.   I need to make you understand that none of what you went through was your fault.  We’ll talk it all out very soon.   But right now is not the right time or place for that.  Right now there’s a more pressing matter and that’s getting you some justice!  I’m asking you to trust me on this, Son.  And I also need you to go and saddle our two horses.”

“Where are we going?” Joe responded, now very confused.  He didn’t think that there was even a remote chance that real justice existed anymore.  What kind of justice could repay the Dalton brothers for all that they had done to him, and all that they had stolen from him both physically and emotionally?  Joe just shook his head dismayed over the very idea that there was any option left for obtaining justice.  Real justice, in Joe’s opinion, would only be served by killing the vile brothers and making them feel pain before they died.

Pa stood and reached down to take his son’s hand to pull him to standing.  “Come on, Joseph, you’ll know soon.  Now I want you — or rather I need you — to stay with the horses once you get them saddled.  I don’t want you to even look at those men.  Do you understand?”

Joe stood and nodded solemnly over to his father.  He hadn’t the slightest idea what Pa had in mind, but he could hear the fierce determination in the resonance of his voice and knew that he was deadly serious.

Ben threw his arm across his son’s shoulder as the two of them walked back towards the camp.  Joe hadn’t noticed that Pa had taken the time to retrieve his son’s boot-knife from the ground, and he had no idea that his father intended to use it very soon.

*************

Growing close to the light of the campfire, Ben patted Joe’s back and motioned for him to head off in the direction of the horses.  Pa didn’t want the boy to see what he was about to do.  Both Adam and Hoss spotted their father’s approach and as he grew closer, they didn’t miss the intensity on his face.  Ben moved past his two sons, never looking over at them as he neared the Dalton brothers.  He made it over to the pine tree and suddenly dropped down to one knee there right in between the two despicable men and drew up Joseph’s boot-knife.  Like the steady increasing rumble of an earthquake right before it rips the land in two, Ben’s voice was absolutely seismic as he shouted, “Did YOU cut my boy?!”  He held the knife up to Silas’ neck, pressing in the tip of the blade just under the man’s Adam’s apple.  “Did you?!” He screamed and watched as Silas’s eyes grew bigger.  Ben fought his rage, trying not to press in any harder than he had, and even at that, he had drawn blood.  He next turned to Thorn and held the knife under the same location as he had done to the man’s older brother.  “Did YOU cut my boy?!” He bellowed.  Thorn tried to swallow but was afraid to make the move since he had the point of the blade sticking in him at the time.  Ben cut Thorn, though it was only a superficial wound, he hoped that both men had felt fear.

The two Dalton brothers tried their best not to make a sound, even though they were still gagged by the neckerchiefs.  In fact, both of them tried to hold their breaths too.  They could hardly believe that Ben Cartwright was holding a knife to each of their throats and had intentionally cut them.  This was Ben Cartwright after all.  Most people in Nevada knew the man to be law abiding, upright, moral and beyond reproach.  But, foremost, Ben Cartwright was “Pa”, and he was fighting for one of his sons, his youngest, who these scum had tried to destroy by all of their sadistic cruelty.

Adam and Hoss neared their father and stood there silent as they caught sight of what he had done.  They couldn’t blame Pa, because the two of them had heard what the Daltons had said about Joe, and how it had injured their little brother so much that he had fled the camp.  Both Cartwright brothers knew the rage which now showed on Pa’s face and in his dark eyes.  They both felt it too, and had fought their own urge to kill the Daltons by putting a bullet into each of them.  Ben could feel the pulse in his neck getting stronger as he tried to steady his hand as it moved between Silas and Thorn, still wielding the knife.  He glanced behind him and saw his two oldest boys standing there looking down at him.  Ben closed his eyes and prayed he’d have the strength to let go of his need for blood.  In his mind he could still hear Joseph’s description of what Silas and Thorn had done to him up there in the cabin.  He could still hear the cries of his youngest son after he had confessed to what he had been forced to agree to do in order to stop the men from gelding him.  With all of the strength that he had left in his body, Ben pulled himself back to standing.  He tried to gather control of his emotions as he stared down at the two men.

“Come over here for a minute,” Pa called to his two sons and walked back to the campfire.

Adam and Hoss followed their father and stood looking over at the man.  It would never cease to amaze them how Pa could keep himself together, even in the worst of situations.

“Joe and I are going to see Chief Winnemucca, Boys,” Ben whispered, his back turned towards the Daltons, not wanting them to know of his plans.  “I want you two to keep a good eye on the prisoners.  I don’t want you to kill them it would be too quick to shoot either of them.  We should be back before dusk tomorrow.  If they even try to escape you can put a bullet into them — but just a leg or an arm.  I want them alive for when we return,” Pa insisted.

“Why are you going up there, Pa?” Hoss asked, also keeping his voice down.

Adam smiled over at his father and then nodded to his brother.  “I think I know, Hoss.  I’ll explain it to you.  Go on and take Joe, Pa, the kid doesn’t need to hang around here with those disgusting creatures.”

Ben patted both of his sons on their backs and turned to head for the horses.  He was surprised to see Joseph standing there already.  Looking over at his youngest he could tell by the expression that he wore that the boy hadn’t done as he had been instructed.  Pa was now aware that Joseph had witnessed the whole scene with Silas and Thorn.

“Here’s your horse, Pa,” Joe said, and handed the reins over to him.

“Thank you, Son,” Ben nodded over to the boy and watched as Joseph moved towards his pinto and mounted from the right side.  He looked at his youngest, confusion painting his face, as it was a definite rule to always mount from the left side of a horse.

“I taught Cochise to let me mount up on this side because of my leg,” Joe explained, when he noticed the surprised look that his father had shot over to him.

“I’m glad you’re at least trying to take care of that leg a little bit, Joe,” Ben sighed, still concerned about his son’s injury.

“My leg is fine, Pa,” Joe insisted.

“Okay then let’s go,” Ben replied and mounted his horse.

Joe eased Cochise closer to Buck and reached over and touched his father’s arm.  “I’m glad you got some use out of my knife,” he whispered and nodded gratefully over to Pa.

“I am too,” Ben quipped and then the two of them sent their horses into a gallop.

***************

The journey up to the Paiute camp had taken Ben and Joe almost six hours.  They had only stopped twice, and that was only to water their horses.   Fortunately the light from the full moon had assisted them in making good time and had enabled them to make quite a few miles before daybreak.  Finally reaching the main encampment where they would find Chief Winnemucca, Ben and Joe dismounted and walked their horses the last half of a mile to show that they posed no threat.  The two braves standing just at the edge of the camp had recognized both Cartwrights and had waved over to two other Indians who stood just outside of the Chief’s teepee posted like sentries.  They moved inside the tent quickly in order to inform their leader that visitors were approaching.

Chief Winnemucca knew Ben Cartwright and his three sons very well.  He was one of the very few ranchers in the area who the Chief trusted.  Ben had always been a friend to the Paiute tribe, and had helped them especially in the lean years when the winters had been very hard.

Ben held up his hand, and Joe had followed suit as they walked over to the Chief.

“Ben Cartwright,” Chief Winnemucca called over to his friend.  “Much time since last you come here.”

“It is good to see you again, Chief.  You remember my son Joseph, don’t you?” Ben asked as he pointed towards Joe.

The Chief nodded and replied, “Yes, Chief know all sons.”

“Chief I need to speak to you with something of great importance,” Ben wanted to get right to the point, as time was definitely and issue.

“You come in teepee,” the Chief nodded.

Ben looked over at his son and called, “Joseph — I’ll bring you inside in a bit, I want to speak to the Chief alone for now.”

Joe nodded that he understood and watched as Pa walked inside the tent with the Indian.  He stayed outside and watched as several braves took positions around the tent, once again acting as sentries to protect their leader.

Chief Winnemucca sat on the bearskin rug and pointed for Ben to do likewise.  Ben sat with his legs crossed on the ground and spoke out.  “Chief, I come with information that you’ve wanted for a long while now.  But, first, if you’ll allow me to tell you how I came by it, then you’ll understand why this is important to us both.”

“Speak, Ben Cartwright,” Winnemucca announced.

“About four months ago my son, who stands now outside your tent, was taken away from me.  There is a rancher name Preston Hilliard who has a ranch just southeast of the Ponderosa.  He and a gunman named Bridger took Joseph and then handed him over to two men who kept Joseph from me in another town for three months.  These men did a great deal of harm to my son.  It was only last night that I learned that they also have harmed you, Chief.  They admitted to killing your son.  I know we all tried to find out who had killed Silver Eagle a year ago, but we never could figure out who had done it.  I also know your granddaughter was harmed.  We just couldn’t match her description of who had hurt her and killed your son to anyone we knew.  Now, those two men sit up at my camp up at Buckhorn Meadow.  I wanted to bring this to you before I take those men to the local law.”

The Chief’s demeanor changed as he felt the pangs of loss.  His youngest son, Silver Eagle had been killed, and no-one had been held responsible.  And, on top of that loss, his granddaughter Running Deer had been assaulted.  Now he had finally learned who had committed the crimes and it made his blood boil.

“You take men for white man law?  What white man law do for Paiute?  What white man law do for what men do to my son’s daughter?  What white man law do for your son, Ben Cartwright?” The Chief asked, his dark eyes forcing their gaze towards Ben.

Ben sighed and answered, “Not enough, Chief.  You know white man’s court rarely takes up any cases regarding the Indian Nations.  And, white man’s law would not take away the pain that my son has gone through.  He has been harmed much like your granddaughter was harmed.  Even now he can’t bear to look into light of any kind, which is why the boy is wearing glasses.  White man’s law is sometimes very weak.  The most those evil men will get is perhaps five or ten years in a prison.”

“Prison —then what happens to men?”

“Then they are freed,” Ben replied sullenly.

The Chief shook his head angrily and then returned, “White man law not good!”

Ben sighed and nodded his agreement.  “Yes Chief in a lot of cases it falls very short.”

“Why you tell me, Ben Cartwright?  If you know white man law no good then why you tell me?”

“I wanted to ask you about Indian law, Oh Chief.  What would Indian law do?  I feel that you have suffered the most, as you lost your son.  I grieve for your loss, but I also feel loss at what happened to my son – and also your granddaughter.”

The Chief stood as did Ben and they faced each other.  “Indian law says that you take life you lose your life.  These men owe three lives, Ben Cartwright.  They owe for Silver Eagle, they owe for Running Deer and they owe for your son also.  That make three lives they must lose.  That is Indian way.”

Ben drew in a deep breath and replied, “In this situation I have to agree with you, Chief.  These men are dangerous and they also have done these things and have laughed about it.  They laughed about what they did to your son and granddaughter and they have laughed about what they’ve done to my son.”

“Then you let Indian handle justice or you choose white man justice?” The Chief asked.

“I choose Indian justice, since in this case they do owe you a life —and perhaps the other two lives as well for what they’ve done to those two young people.”

“Where camp where men are?”

“Buckhorn Meadow down at the lake, Chief, and my other sons are watching them now.”

Chief Winnemucca moved to the entranceway of his tent and called out in his language.  Soon both Running Deer and Joe Cartwright were brought inside.

“This my son’s daughter, Running Deer,” the Chief pointed to her and nodded over at Joe as well.  “She only look at ground since father killed.  See this on arm?” The Chief pointed at the girl’s black beaded armband.

“Yes, Chief, I see it,” Ben nodded as he looked at the young woman.

“That band of shame,” The Chief said.

Ben looked over at the Chief confusion on his face very evident.  The Chief must have noticed as he spoke right out.  “No, Ben Cartwright, this not my son’s daughter’s shame, it is band of shame that must stay on her until we find men who hurt her.  Once she stands before those who hurt her I will remove band of shame and give to those men who will pay for what they do.  That a father duty, but her father, my son, lies dead so I must remove for him.”

“I see,” Ben nodded, much relieved by the explanation, especially since Joseph looked like he was internally taking in all that was being said.  His son had known about the young woman’s attack and it wouldn’t have been very well received if Joe thought that the Chief was purposely making the girl feel shame for having been a victim.

“When you want Indian justice, Ben Cartwright?”

“It will take a while for you to get up there.  Can you make it before night fall tonight?”

The Chief spoke out in his native tongue to a brave who was standing off to the right of him.  The brave left in a hurry and came back in a few minutes.  He had a black beaded armband.  The Chief took the band and handed it to Ben.  “You put on son, and you will take off son once Indian come to camp tonight.  Tonight his band of shame will be gone when we have Indian justice,” the Chief insisted.

Ben stared over at Joseph to see if he’d accept wearing the black armband which Chief Winnemucca had offered before he even tried to place it onto him.  Joe, seeing his father’s hesitancy, nodded over to him.  He figured that if the Chief was really going to provide true justice, then the least he could do was to wear the armband for a few hours.

Pa placed the black band onto his son’s left arm and then called over to the Chief.  “Thank you, Chief Winnemucca, for allowing us to finally have justice.”

The Chief walked over to Joe and said to him, “Son of my friend, tonight my son’s daughter will be able to look up to sky again.  Maybe soon you be able to look at light.”

Joe nodded to the Chief and looked over at his granddaughter.  He could see the hurt in the young lady’s eyes and understood how she felt.  “Thank you, Chief,” Joe whispered.

“Tonight Buckhorn Meadow by the lake, we will look for you and your braves,” Ben called to the Chief and turned out of the teepee.

Chief Winnemucca waved to the two Cartwrights as they mounted their horses and rode off.  He then turned to gather his braves to prepare to ride out to meet up with the Cartwrights and their prisoners at Buckhorn Meadow.

****************

Dusk had fallen just as Ben and Joe Cartwright arrived back at their camp.  They both dismounted and approached both Adam and Hoss.

“How did it go, Pa?” Adam asked, still keeping his voice down to just above a soft whisper in order to prevent the Dalton brothers from hearing of the Cartwright’s plan.

Ben bent down and drew up the coffee pot with his gloved hand and poured two cups for both himself and Joe.  He handed his youngest the coffee and then addressed his other sons.  “Everything worked out fine.  It won’t be long.  Now, what about the prisoners — any trouble today?”

Hoss smiled and cast a look over at the Daltons and then back over at his pa.  “Those evil varmints have been as good as gold, Pa.  We undid their gags just long enough to give them some water and neither of them said one word.  I think after feeling that knife at their necks last night taught them that they’d better keep quiet.”

Ben was about to reply when he noticed that Joe’s gaze had fallen on his former captors.  He reached over and touched the boy’s arm and said, “Joseph, once you have your coffee how about helping to pack up the camp?”

“Yeah, Little Brother, come on I’ll help you,” Hoss offered as he had also witnessed the expression on Joe’s face.  He could tell that his younger brother had once again been caught up in painful memories after he had glanced at both Silas and Thorn.

Joe broke from his intent gaze on the evil men and took one long sip of his coffee before setting the cup on the ground.  “Yeah, I’m ready,” Joe said and turned towards where the bedrolls were spread out.  He hurriedly walked away from Pa and Adam with Hoss at his side.

“How’s the kid doing, Pa?” Adam questioned once Joe was out of earshot.

Ben shook his head still worried about his youngest.  “All I can say right now, Son, is that I hope Winnemucca gets here soon.  Joe doesn’t need to be around the Daltons, it’s just too painful for him.”

“Did he tell you what happened at the cabin, Pa?  Hoss and I didn’t get to ask you last night before you left.”

Ben frowned and replied, “He told me some of it, and it was beyond anything that we’d thought he’d gone through.  I understand now why he’s still wearing those glasses.  That boy has gone through the unimaginable, Adam.  Lord willing we’ll have justice tonight.”

“And then?”

Ben wore a tired frown as he returned, “Then we’ll have to try and help him deal with all that was done to him.”

Adam watched as Hoss and Joe went around the camp gathering up all of the gear and asked, “What’s that Joe’s got on his arm?”

“Chief Winnemucca gave it to him it’s called a band of shame.”

“What?” Adam’s question came out full of confusion.

“It’s not what it sounds like, Adam — though I had the same concern when I heard that term.  Winnemucca put one on his granddaughter too.   Paiute custom is that the victim of an attack must wear it until they find who hurt them and then the father removes the band and puts it onto the perpetrator.  Joe was told all about it before he let me put it on his arm.  He’s okay with it,” Ben explained.

Hoss neared his father and asked, “What do you want us to do with the Dalton brother’s saddles and their horses, Pa?”

Ben cast a look over to the two evil men before he addressed his son’s question.  “Well, Hoss, they surely won’t need them so I’ll offer them to the Chief before we leave.”

“You want me to get the horses saddled now, Pa?” Joe asked as he approached his family.

“Yes, Joseph, I don’t think we’ll have much of a wait now,” Ben nodded and watched as the boy walked away again.

“Trying to keep the kid busy, huh?” Adam smiled over at his father.

“Yes, and I hope we don’t run out of chores before the Indians get here,” Ben answered.

Only a few minutes after Pa had addressed keeping Joe occupied they heard the sound of horses approaching.  The four Cartwrights approached the Chief as he made it into their camp.

The Chief arrived with six braves alongside of him and his granddaughter.  They dismounted and walked over to the campfire.

“Welcome Chief,” Ben said and his three sons nodded over to the entourage.

Winnemucca shot a glance towards the large pine tree which held the bound prisoners tied to it.  He pointed over at his granddaughter and she approached him.  “That men who kill father and disgrace you?” he asked her.

Running Deer walked across the camp and over to the tree.  She faced the two men.  The Dalton brothers looked up at the Indian girl and their faces took on a very shocked appearance.  It had been their assumption that Ben Cartwright had left the camp the night before in order to bring the law back with him.  Neither man had any idea that he had apparently gone to the Paiutes.

Chief Winnemucca signaled for Joe to draw closer to where Running Deer now stood staring at Silas and Thorn.  Apprehensively the boy drew near the pine tree and stared down at the men who had abused him for months.

“This men?” Chief Winnemucca called once more to his granddaughter.

“Yes, My Chief, this is the men who kill father and hurt me,” she said trying not to show the fear which she still felt towards her assailants.

“This men who hurt you?” Winnemucca asked Joe.

“Yes, Chief,” Joe answered and dropped his head down, trying not to reveal the terror written all over his face.

Ben and his other two sons approached the Chief and Running Deer.

“Let them speak!” Winnemucca pointed to the two men and his braves came forward and removed the neckerchiefs which had been used to gag their mouths.

“You can’t turn us over to those redskins!” Silas shouted just as soon as his mouth was freed.  “Cartwright — you’ve got to turn us over to the Sheriff, not to these savages!”

“Savages!” Ben yelled and cast an exasperated look at the Daltons.  “There are only two savages here —and I’m looking at them!”

“You can’t let those Indians take us, Cartwright!” this time it was Thorn who had spoken up, fear written all over his face.  “They aren’t the law — they’re just Injuns!”

“Oh you’re wrong,” Ben replied sharply.  “They ARE the law here, and they’re going to provide the only true judgement that you two will ever get!  You both have killed Winnemucca’s son and you’ve also attacked these two innocent young people, and now you will find out what justice really means.”

Winnemucca reached over to his granddaughter to remove her black armband and then signaled Ben to remove the one that was around Joe’s left arm.  Joe looked up at Pa as he watched him undo the band and then watched as Winnemucca motioned to two of his braves.  They took the armbands and placed one around Silas’ arm and one around Thorn’s.

“Now shame is where it should be,” Winnemucca announced.  “Running Deer — you go and wait by horse!”

Joe reached over to the girl before she turned to go back to where the Indians had left their mounts.  “I’m so sorry,” Joe whispered to her.

Running Deer looked into Joe’s eyes and replied, “They could only take my body they could not take my spirit,” She said to Joe and walked away from the men who had killed her father and assaulted her.

“Cartwright!  Cartwright, don’t let them get a hold of us!  You know what they’ll do!” Silas screamed.

Ben nodded his head and smiled viciously at the two men.  “Oh, yes, I pretty much know what they’ll do to you!”

“Chief, we will leave you now and thank you for bringing justice to my son and to his family,” Ben said and bowed his head towards Winnemucca.

“Thank you, Ben Cartwright, for letting Indian get justice,” the Chief nodded over to Pa.

“Hey there are two good saddle horses over yonder,” Hoss called to the Indians and pointed towards the Dalton brother’s mounts.  “We’re going to leave them, so they’re yours if you’d like them.”

Chief Winnemucca nodded over to Hoss as he walked over to gather what he’d need in order to enact justice on the two brothers.

“Well, goodbye Chief,” Ben called to the Indian and turned with his three sons to leave the camp.

The four Cartwrights mounted their horses, leaving their campfire blazing as they figured it might be needed for the Chief and his braves for what they had to do.  Joe cast one last long look over to the Dalton brothers and then sent Cochise into a gallop.  The Cartwrights could hear the persistent shouts of Silas and Thorn as they rode away, noting the terror that was in their voices.

*************

There was just enough retreating light for the Cartwright brothers to see when their father had raised his right arm, signaling that they needed to stop riding.  All four men pulled up about a quarter of a mile from their former camp where they had left the Paiutes.

“What’s wrong, Pa?” Adam asked.

“Just hold up a minute,” Ben answered and waited patiently.

Hoss shot a confused glance over to both of his brothers who had responded with just a shrug of their shoulders.  None of them knew why Pa had insisted that they stop riding for home.

Just fifteen minutes later the echo of two very loud screams bounced off of the mountains surrounding the hill where the four Cartwrights sat on their horses waiting.  Those screams were followed by terrifying shrieks which were very evidently sent from the camp by the two Dalton brothers.

“I ain’t never heard that kind of sound before, Pa,” Hoss remarked.  “You reckon what’s happening?”

“I would say it’s the sound of justice,” Ben nodded and then turned towards Joe, who was seated on Cochise just to the right side of his Pa.  “Is that what it sounds like to you, Joseph?”

“Yeah, Pa — sure sounds like justice to me,” He answered catching his father’s satisfied grin.

“Let’s go home, Boys,” Ben called and sent Buck into a gallop.

What the Cartwrights hadn’t stuck around to see, was a very real kind of justice which was dealt out by the hands of Chief Winnemucca and his braves.  They had indeed made each of the Dalton brothers pay for their crimes with three lives.  In order to make the punishment fit their crimes, first the Chief had ordered for his braves to do to the Daltons what they had almost done to Joe Cartwright.  The Paiute knives were much duller than the knife which Silas and Thorn had used on Little Joe.   Both Silas and Thorn had felt the slow agonizing pain of castration.  Winnemucca had ordered that punishment for what they had done to Running Deer.  Next, for having laughed over what they had done to Silver Eagle, Running Deer and Joe Cartwright, both men had their tongues cut out of their mouths.  Lastly, to pay for the crime of murdering Silver Eagle, they had been hung on the same pine tree where they had spent their last two days of life.  Unlike partially being hung, like what they had done to Joseph Cartwright, they had been killed by the ropes which had been placed around their necks.  Thus, the two Dalton brothers had met a very fitting end to their rotten, disgusting and sadistic lives.

***************

The first morning rays of the sun had just come over the mountains as the four Cartwrights rode their mounts into the front yard of the ranch house.  Wearily each man came down from his saddle just as two of their hired hands came out of the bunkhouse.

“We’ll take those, Mister Cartwright!” Fletcher sang out and moved with Cody over to their employer and his sons.

Ben smiled and clapped the man on the back as he replied, “Thanks, we all appreciate it — it was a long trip.”

“You all find the men you were looking for?” The other hand asked.

Ben nodded and said, “Yes, it’s all taken care of.  I think the boys and I could use a few hours of sleep now.”

“You go on inside, we’ve got this,” Cody smiled and helped Fletcher take the four horses into the barn.

The living room looked very inviting to all of the Cartwrights as they got out of their hats and holsters there at the credenza.  Hop Sing came out from the kitchen, and it hadn’t come as a surprise to any of them. Somehow the Cantonese man always knew when they would be coming home.

“I start breakfast!” Hop Sing offered loudly as he smiled over at the four men.

Ben reached over and patted the cook’s shoulder and returned, “I think the boys and I are going to get a little sleep first.  But, we’ll all be hungry when we get up.”

“Then Hop Sing have late breakfast waiting,” He replied smiling over at his family.

Ben followed his three sons up the stairs and watched as each one of them turned for his own bedroom.  He hadn’t missed the way that Joe was limping far worse than he had before taking the long trip.  Sighing to himself, Ben had to admit that he really hadn’t expected much less from the young man who never thought things out before attempting any of the stunts he had pulled over the years.  Joseph never should have been in on the hunt for the Dalton brothers.  It had been a foolish thing to attempt to do, especially while sporting a leg brace.  Ben thought on what his son had confessed to him two nights prior and his blood once again went cold.  He knew that Joseph was still a prisoner, this time to his own thoughts.  Pa was well aware that the boy still had a lot of very frightening memories that were preventing him from going back to the way he had been almost five months ago.  Ben knew that Joe was still hiding inside the darkness in his mind, and he would have to find some way to pull his son back into the light.  He reasoned that it would take a lot of time and that his youngest needed help in many ways before he could move forward with his life.  Pa prayed that in time he would see the re-emergence of the “old” Joe Cartwright, the one with the bright smile and green eyes which weren’t hidden behind dark eyeglasses.  But right now, however, he knew that the boy still had a world’s worth of trauma to deal with and somehow sort through.  Pa wished that the Paiute’s form of justice would have been sufficient enough to take away his son’s pain, but he knew that the deaths of the Dalton brothers hadn’t eased Joseph’s burden.  The kid needed a lot more help that was very evident just by looking over at him on the trip back to the ranch that morning.  Ben sighed to himself and walked inside his bedroom.   He decided not to bother to change into a night shirt.  The weary father was as played out as his three sons were, or maybe a bit more.  Stretching out onto his soft feather mattress, Pa pulled up the quilt from the bottom of the bed and closed his eyes.   Any troubles would just have to keep until he’d gotten some rest.   A few quiet minutes later Ben Cartwright was sound asleep.  He had earned it.

**************

None of the four Cartwrights had realized just how totally exhausted they had been both physically and emotionally.  The two eldest brothers didn’t get up until almost six o’clock that night and Ben had slept until seven.  Joe, however, didn’t get up at all that first day.  His family were surprised that the boy had been able to stay down that long, and hadn’t awakened to a nightmare, as was his habit of late.  Ben had checked on his youngest and had decided to just let his son sleep on just as long as he could.  He figured that, though they all had been through the mill due to the long manhunt and the after effects of all that they had witnessed, Joe had endured far more.  Pa wasn’t expecting a miracle, like for his son to be healed emotionally right away, but he had hoped that perhaps the boy might start on the long road back from his ordeal soon.

The following day, just as Adam and Hoss were preparing to go back to their chores and check on the newly branded calves, they reined their horses back upon seeing Sheriff Coffee entering the front yard.  Both Cartwrights dismounted and waved over to the lawman.

“How you doing, Roy?” Hoss called over to the man as he dismounted.

Roy reached out and shook both outstretched hands and replied, “I’m fine, I see you got back from your travels.  Is your Pa around?”

“Yeah, he’s inside.  Come on in,” Adam offered and the three men turned to enter the house.

“Howdy, Ben,” Roy called after spotting the patriarch coming down the stairs.

Ben crossed the living room and shook Roy’s hand.  “How have you been doing, Roy?”

The sheriff nodded and moved to sit down on the settee followed by Hoss and Adam.  Ben sat in his red leather chair and waited to hear what Roy had come about.

“When did you all get back, Ben?”

“Yesterday about daybreak,” Ben returned, not offering much at the time in regards to details.

“Did you catch the Dalton brothers?” Roy asked, and there was a good deal of suspicion on his face.

Ben frowned and cast a glance over to his sons.  They had all spoken about the situation the previous night and knew what they’d say if asked about the two evil brothers and what had become of their search for them.  “Well, we just about had them but they got away.”

Roy nodded, and fought a smile.  He had played poker with Ben Cartwright many times and could tell a bluff when he heard it.  “Is that a fact?  Hum — I guess we can all stop hunting for them —right?  I’m sure you’re all done with looking for them now – no need to go back out after them, am I right again?”

Ben cleared his throat in an attempt to fight back his amusement over how the sheriff had figured out what had happened without saying it in an obvious way.  “Yes, Roy, you’re right there’s no need in doing that.”

Roy nodded over to his old friend, the sheriff then got down to the main reason for his visit.  “I guess you can take two others off your list too, Ben.”

“What?” Ben asked with confusion written all over his face.

“Then you haven’t heard, huh?” Roy questioned, this time figuring that Ben was telling the truth by the way he had stared over at him.

“Heard what?” Adam jumped in.

“Preston and Bridger — I figured that eventually you boys would be going after them — and — well now there’s no need.  One of Preston’s hired hands came to my office first light today and said he’d found the two of them dead.”

The three Cartwrights looked very surprised to hear the lawman’s news.

“How did they die?”  Ben continued.

“Jeff Connelly Preston’s hired hand said he found the two of them first thing this morning there at the house.  There were two Indian lances going through each of their bodies.  Oh — and these were left also,” Roy paused and reached inside his coat and pulled out two black beaded armbands.  He handed them over to Ben.

Roy watched at the looks that went back and forth between Ben Cartwright and his two boys.  He could see some form of recognition on their faces, but not enough to tell him much.  “You reckon that’s Paiute armbands, Ben?”

Ben shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to point a finger at his friend Chief Winnemucca.  He figured that since he had told the Chief about how Joe’s whole ordeal had begun with Preston and J.T. that most likely Winnemucca had felt that those two men were also in on what had happened to his son and granddaughter.  Regardless, the Chief and his braves had apparently finished off the last two men on the Cartwright’s “to do” list.   Ben handed the armbands back to the sheriff and said, “I don’t know anything about those, Roy.  And I’m not going to sit here and lie and tell you that I’m upset that those two men are dead, because I’m not.  Preston and Bridger were in on everything that happened to Joe, we all know it.  We also know that “wherever” those Dalton brothers are that they got there due to Preston and because of whatever arrangement he made with them.  I hope they’re all in someplace very hot.”

“Can’t say as I blame you, Ben, I guess maybe the Paiutes had some kind of a problem with Preston and maybe J.T. too.  Well, I just wanted to check on how you boys did, and I guess I can close the book now on what happened to Little Joe, right?”

Ben nodded as Roy stood up and headed for the front door.  “Can I get you some coffee before you head back, Roy?”

“No thanks, but I’ll take a rain check for next time.  You boys stay out of trouble,” Roy smiled and winked.  He then turned out of the house heading back for Virginia City.  As far as the sheriff was concerned he could now close the book on the abduction of Little Joe Cartwright.  He knew that the Dalton brothers would never be heard from again, and he wouldn’t shed a tear for either of them.

Hoss laughed as soon as he was sure that the sheriff was out of ear-shot.  “We owe Chief Winnemucca a lot, Pa!”

“Yes, we do.  Well, at least we don’t have to try to get Preston and J.T. arrested and tried now,” Ben nodded to his son.

“I guess the Paiute justice has just struck again,” Adam sang out as he walked over to the door with Hoss.  “I’m glad that our little brother won’t have to deal with any trials now.”

“So am I,” Ben agreed.  “You two have a good day.  I’ll see you later.”

“We won’t be too late, tell Hop Sing we’d like a nice roast tonight to celebrate!” Hoss laughed and then headed off to work with his brother.

************

If Joe Cartwright was relieved to hear that both Preston Hilliard and J.T. Bridger were both dead he didn’t say anything about it.  But, then again, he wasn’t saying much of anything here lately.  It had been almost a full two weeks since they had returned home from the hunt for the Daltons and Joe wasn’t doing very well at all, at least emotionally.  Doctor Martin had checked him over, and though he wasn’t amused in the least that Joe had ridden so far with a bad leg, he did think that the boy’s injury would heal up okay.  He had told Ben to make sure that the kid didn’t do much riding for a while, but other than that Doctor Martin thought Joe was as healed up as he was going to get.  Ben had pulled the doctor aside and told him of all that had been said up at the camp and Paul was just as shocked to hear what had been done to Joe as his Pa had been.  He couldn’t offer much as far as advice, other than to tell Ben that he should let Doctor Wallace in on all that he had learned in order to get his opinion on the matter.  Of course Pa had seen to that and had sent Doctor Wallace a very long letter just a few days after they had returned home.

Ben had tried not to pressure his youngest into talking to him, hoping that his son would want to get things off of his chest soon.  But that hadn’t happened.  Joe had several violent nightmares the first week they had gotten back, but it had been strangely quiet the last few nights.  Ben wished he could feel relieved by that fact, but he wasn’t.  Though Joe still wore his dark glasses, Pa could tell that his son wasn’t sleeping, he couldn’t see the boy’s eyes but he could read the exhaustion on his face.  That morning as Joe was heading out to take the buckboard filled with supplies to his brothers who were watching the new herd, Pa had asked his son to talk to him but he had flatly refused and then left hastily.

Later the same afternoon as Ben was preparing to gather some papers from his bedroom he met Hop Sing getting ready to take clothes upstairs.

“I’m going that way, Hop Sing, I’ll take those for you,” Ben called over to the man and then pulled the folded clothes from him.

“Those for Little Joe, Hop Sing already put away Mister Adam and Mister Hoss clothes,” The cook explained.

“I’ll put them in Joe’s room,” Ben nodded and walked up the stairs.

Walking to his son’s bureau, Pa pulled the drawers open one by one, settling the shirts and pants inside.  Just as he was readying to close the last drawer his eye caught on something.  It was a book and Ben wondered why it would have been stashed inside his son’s bureau and not on his bookshelf.  He didn’t like to pry and had fought to allow each one of his sons their privacy over the years.  But his curiosity got the better of him so he drew the book out and then walked over to Joe’s bed and sat down.

It was just as Ben had presumed.  The book was the journal that Doctor Wallace had given Joseph before the boy had left the hospital.  The doctor had informed Ben about what the purpose had been for giving his patient a journal to write down his thoughts inside.  He had thought that the boy might be able to get some things off of his chest by writing down how he was feeling.  Ben flipped through the first twenty or so pages and found them to be blank.  He was surprised that Joe had squirreled the book away if he hadn’t written in it and was just about to put it back into his son’s bureau when he spotted writing in the middle of the journal.  He wondered why Joe would’ve skipped the first twenty pages, leaving them blank.  Deciding it wasn’t really prying to read what was in his son’s book, since he was so worried about the boy, Ben began.  There in the backward slant of Joseph’s left handed scrawl Pa deciphered each word.

*** I don’t know why I’m even doing this.  I don’t think anything will help me anymore.  We got back almost two weeks ago from the camp where those two bastards were finally killed.  I wish I could’ve done it myself, but I couldn’t.  I hope they felt a lot of pain before the Chief let his braves kill them.  I hope they rot in Hell.  I’m not sure I should be writing this stuff.  Is this supposed to be healthy?  My father and my brothers think that all is well now.  They were glad to hear that Preston and J.T. got killed too.  Yeah, I hope they got it good and that they also felt pain.  But now it’s like I’m supposed to be all back to normal — whatever that’s supposed to mean.  I can see it on everyone’s face as they watch me every night at the dinner table.  It’s like they are all just waiting for me to pick up a fork.  It makes me feel worse and I hate eating at all anymore.  And my glasses — I know they probably think I’m crazy because I’m still wearing them.  I wish I wasn’t but I can’t take them off.  I’ve tried I’ve tried almost every night sitting in here by myself.  I pull them down and then I get the shakes and put them right back on.  And the lamp too I’ve tried to deal with the light.  I’ve tried to pull up the wick every night, just an inch.  But, that never works out either.  I’ve told them all to put the wicks up downstairs but they insist that they’re okay with it.  I know they’re really not but they’re trying to keep me from going off like I did that day out in the barn.  It’s all been so foggy in my brain.  I kind of remember being in there and I kind of remember holding my gun.  But a lot of it is just unclear.  I told Pa that I was crazy maybe he should have taken me seriously?  I don’t know about that either.  Now all I think about is what happened up there at the cabin and also what happened up there at the camp when I told my Pa what I did.  I’m just glad that it was dark so I didn’t see his face.  I wish now that I’d never told him.  And since we got back he’s been trying to get me to tell him even more.  He needs to leave it alone, he doesn’t know what went on and he’s better off not knowing.  I wonder if I’ll end up burning this thing?  I don’t want anyone to find it.  Doctor Wallace said it would help me, but so far I’m not feeling very helped.  I’m not sleeping because I can’t.  I keep waking my family up with nightmares.  It makes me feel like a kid screaming out in the middle of the night.  They’re not getting any sleep so for the last couple of nights I’ve just stayed up in the chair fighting off nodding off.  It’s getting rough but at least they’re sleeping now.  At least I don’t have nightmares if I don’t sleep.  The last one was rough.  Pa kept asking me what it was about and I told him I didn’t remember.  I sure do lie a lot lately.  It was the one about begging those two monsters for my clothes again.  It wouldn’t be so scary if it hadn’t happened up there in the cabin, but it did.  It’s bad enough that I remember, there’s just no reason to make anyone else go through this with me.  I hope Adam and Hoss stay with the herd for a while then maybe I could try to sleep a few hours tomorrow.  But then there’s Pa and I don’t want to wake him so maybe I can ease out to the barn and try to catch a couple of hours.  I guess this book thing isn’t going to help much.  I don’t feel any better and my hand now is cramped.  Maybe I just need to go away somewhere. ***

The journal stopped there, and Ben closed it up and set it right back where Joe had hidden it underneath his shirts in the drawer.  Pa felt bad for having read it but was feeling far worse due to what his son had written.  Now he knew what his youngest was going through and how much he had been hiding from all of them.  Pa would have to handle the situation in a covert manner so that his son wouldn’t know that he had violated his privacy.  Ben walked to the bedroom door and slowly pulled it open and then, with a very heavy heart, he walked out into the hallway.

************

Ben walked out of his bedroom late that night carrying a lamp with its wick trimmed down low.  He moved quietly across the hall to Joe’s room and gently eased the door open.  There was Joseph!  He was completely dressed and sitting in the straight back chair wide awake.

“Do you want to tell me why you are fully dressed and sitting in that chair when you should be in bed?”  Pa asked, and set the lamp down onto the night stand.

“Do you want to tell me why you’re up at one o’clock in the morning?” Joe shot back, unamused that he had been found out.

“Do you want to tell me how you know it’s one o’clock in the morning?” Ben volleyed back.

“Do you want to tell me why it matters?” Joe frowned over being put on the spot.

“Do you want to tell me why you’d ask me that?”

Joe sighed and gave up on the question game.  “Just go to bed, Pa.”

“I’ve slept the last several nights which is more than I can say about you, Young Man.”

“Pa, it’s too late for a lecture,” Joe called over wearily.

“This isn’t a lecture, Joseph it’s a concerned father talking.  Now why aren’t you sleeping?” Ben replied and sat down on the bottom of his son’s bed.

“I’m not tired,” Joe lied as he had so often of late.

“Do you want to try that one again?”

“Come on, Pa just give it a rest will you?” Joe’s voice came off sounding very annoyed.

“I’ll give it a rest when you actually get some rest.  Now how about getting into your night shirt and crawling into bed?  Joseph, I can see it all over your face that you’re absolutely exhausted.  Are you afraid that you’ll have another nightmare?” Ben asked, much softer in tone as he tried not to reveal that he had information that had been obtained from Joe’s hidden journal.

Joe shook his head and whispered, “Yeah I am worried I’ll have another nightmare.  Now is that what you needed to hear?”

“Yes I needed to hear that, so that maybe I can help you with it, Son.”

“Pa, I don’t want to keep any of you up because I have these dreams.  It’s not fair to any of you.  It’s bad enough that you’ll probably all go blind from keeping the lights so low around this place —- the last thing I need is for any of you to get sick from getting woke up night after night because of me!”

“Joseph, we are your family, we care about you. And none of us are doing without sleep like YOU are!  At least if we do get awakened we go back to sleep — but you don’t.  We’re all worried about you.”

“I can’t change this and none of you can either.  Maybe if I go away somewhere everyone would be better off?”

Ben walked across the room and stood next to his son.  He placed his hand down onto his shoulder and forced his gaze.  “We had to live without you for three dreadful months — do you think we want you to go away?  And as for changing things, maybe if you’d confide in me then maybe I can help you with it?”

Joe dropped his head down into his hands, looking away from his father’s worried gaze.  “Pa, I can’t talk about any of it.  I already told you more than you should know.”

“There’s NOTHING you can’t tell me, Joseph.  Now what’s all this about wanting to go away?”

“That way all of you get sleep and maybe I will too.  I don’t know,” Joe sighed.

“If you’ll agree to go to sleep tonight then I’ll talk to you about this going away business tomorrow.  Now will you please try to get some sleep?  Your brothers are out with the herd so there’s no way you’re going to wake them up.  You know Hop Sing can’t hear you in his room downstairs.”

“And you?” Joe asked warily.

“I promise that if you have a nightmare tonight I won’t come rushing in.  If you want me – then you can come and get me.  Now will you please try because if you don’t I’m going to sit here and pester you all night.”

Joe took in a deep breath and finally looked up at his Pa.  “Okay, I’ll try,” He caved and stood from his chair and walked over to his bed.

Ben moved to the bedroom door and called across the room.  “Get into your night shirt!” He called out and watched as his son reached over to the chair where Hop Sing had left the boy’s night clothes.  Walking out into the hall, Pa felt as though he had achieved a very small victory that night.  At least Joseph wasn’t sneaking out to the barn to sleep there as he had planned on doing according to his journal entry.  As for everything else, well, it would just have to wait until the morning.  Ben had something very important to discuss with Joe and he wasn’t sure how well it would be received.  Hopefully, after he’d had a full night’s sleep, his son might be ready to hear his proposition.  With that his final thought, Pa headed into his bedroom praying that Joe’s sleep wouldn’t be interrupted by a nightmare again.

*************

Joe sat opposite his father there in his study the next morning.  He had his arms crossed over his chest in another attempt to keep his silence in regards to what he had gone through since being held as a prisoner there in the cabin.  Joe could tell that Pa wanted to hear how he was feeling, and he wasn’t up to dealing with any questions.

“What was it all about last night, Son?” Ben called from across his desk.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joe returned and pretended not to know what Pa was alluding to.

Ben arose and moved to stand at the end of his desk towering over the young man in the chair.  “Joseph — I heard you — I didn’t come into your room because I told you that I wouldn’t.  Now will you tell me what your nightmare was about?”

Joe sighed, and shook his head very frustrated over his father’s persistence.   “Does it really matter, Pa?”

“Yes, it does,” Ben nodded down at his son.

“Okay –okay this one was about Preston — I guess I was thinking about him yesterday.”

“Go on,” Pa insisted, hoping that if Joe would at least tell him about his nightmares that maybe it would help the boy in dealing with what was causing them.

Now Joe stood and began pacing there in front of the desk, his hands raised in gesture.  “I could see him holding a gun on me.  I heard him laugh when he said that he was going to get rid of me.  It’s probably because I still don’t understand,” Joe trailed off.

“You don’t understand what?”

“I don’t understand why he went after me after all of these years, Pa!” Joe shouted out, now enraged over how he had been targeted by Hilliard.  “I mean his son — Franklin — he’s the one who went gunning for me –not the other way around.  And look how long ago that was!  And on top of all of that I wasn’t the one who killed Franklin — it was Adam — not me!  So why was I the lucky one to get sent off to that cabin and not Adam?  Why ME?!”

Ben leaned against the edge of his desk and watched as Joe’s indignation and frustration poured out in front of him. Pa had wanted his son to get all that was bottled up inside of him out, trying to help him.  But, now, seeing the total outrage pouring out of the boy gave Ben pause, not knowing if it had been a good idea.

“I don’t know, Joseph — I wish I had the answers to all of this,” Ben replied softly trying to calm the tempest in his son’s mind.

Joe spun back around and directed his gaze to his father.  “Why did he pay those men to keep me alive and put me through non-stop torture?  Why didn’t he just let them kill me and be done with it?  Or better yet why didn’t Preston just get a gun and shoot me in the back like his son tried to do?”

“I’m glad he didn’t kill you, Joseph,” Pa whispered, feeling at a loss over what to say in response to his son’s questions.

“Well I’m not!   I wish they had killed me — at least then it would all be over and I wouldn’t have to deal with what they’ve left me.” Joe confessed seriously.  He had spent so many days and nights wishing that he had been killed instead of going through all of the terrible pain which he had endured.  He truly believed that death would have been much more merciful than to be left in the sadistic hands of the Dalton brothers.

“Joe— you won’t always feel this way,” Pa returned, hoping in his heart that what he had said to his son would end up proving to be fact.  He understood some of what the boy had been dealing with but evidently there was so much more which Joe had endured.  What the boy had gone through was apparently causing him so much anguish that he couldn’t tell anyone nor could he admit to what had happened; not even to himself.

Joe, feeling spent from all of the raw emotions which had come out with a vengeance, fell back down into the side chair and shook his head sadly.  “Pa – Pa – I just feel stuck.  I can’t move forward and I can’t deal with the past either.  It just feels like one long day — one long day since you all brought me back from Littleton and that cabin,” Joe lamented and then dropped his head down into his hands again.

Ben reached over to his son and placed a hand onto the boy’s shoulder trying to comfort him.  “Joseph — I think there’s a solution to this.”

Joe looked up and if Pa had been able to see his eyes from underneath the dark glasses he would have noticed his confusion.  “What kind of a solution, Pa?  Nothing has helped me all of this time.  None of you know, but I’ve tried to take these glasses off just like I’ve tried to turn the wick up in the lamp in my room but I can’t do either.  I am stuck, just like I said a minute ago.  It’s like Preston is getting his wish from beyond the grave – he wanted to destroy me and he’s done a good job.  And he’s messing your life up too —and the lives of my brothers as well.  I know you all thought I would be okay once all of the men responsible for me being taken were dead — but that’s not how it is.  I know I’ve disappointed all of you,” Joe admitted with a great amount of sorrow displayed on his face and in his voice.

“No, Joseph — that’s just not the truth!” Ben replied emphatically.  “You have NEVER been a disappointment to any of us.  Now get that straight.”

“This is why there’s no point in talking about this stuff, Pa.  Nothing ever changes, no matter what I can’t get free of what happened to me.”

Ben moved back to sit down at his desk and opened the drawer.  Removing a letter he held it up and called over to his son.  “I heard back from Doctor Wallace.  I wrote him and told him all about what had happened to each of your attackers once we got home.”

Joe stared over horrified by what his father had just said.  “Pa – tell me that you didn’t — that you didn’t tell him about all that I confessed to you there at the lake that night!”

“Yes, I did, Son.  But he will keep all of the information in utmost confidence, and won’t even share it with your uncle.  He made a suggestion and I think it’s one that we need to talk about.”

“What?” Joe asked, almost afraid to hear his father’s response.

“He thinks that you should go back to that cabin and face all of what you went through,” Ben answered quietly, knowing that the idea would probably hit the boy hard.

“What?!”  Joe shouted and stood from his chair once more.  “Is he insane?  Doesn’t he know how terrified I am of that place?”

“He thinks that it will help you to finally address everything you went through.  Doctor Wallace thinks it will be a catalyst that might help you to move forward.”

“Well isn’t that easy for HIM to say!” Joe yelled over the very idea of what the man was suggesting.  “He wasn’t the one who was —

Ben noticed the abrupt way that his son had stopped talking and could read the look on Joe’s face.  Pa could tell that all of the painful memories were back in the forefront of Joseph’s mind once again.  He moved over to his son to try to get through to him.  “It might help, Son,” he whispered, in an attempt to calm the panic that was now very evident on Joe’s face.

“Pa?  What if I just can’t face it?  What if I just freeze up?” Joe replied with a strong tremble to his voice.

“You won’t be going in there alone this time, Joseph, I will be with you every step of the way,” Ben asserted.

Joe stared over at his father and whispered, “Pa — I don’t think you’ll be able to deal with all that happened there anymore than I can.”

Ben placed his hand onto Joe’s shoulder and tried one last time to get through to his son.  “If it’s something that will help you then I can handle just about anything.  Now — will you try?”

“And what happens if we get out there and I can’t do it?  What then, Pa?”

Ben patted his son’s back and tried to reassure him.  “I’m not going to force you to do anything.  I’m just asking you to try.  How about you and I leave tomorrow morning?”

Joe stared down at the floor and didn’t respond right away to his father’s suggestion.  He was having a very difficult time just imagining going back to that cabin which held such God awful horrors for him.

“Joseph?”

Drawing in a deep breath and fighting his fears Joe finally nodded over to Pa.  “I’ll go – but I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” Joe conceded.

Pa gave his son a quick reassuring pat to his back and returned, “Let’s just see how it goes.  Maybe this will be what finally rids you of all of the nightmares?   At least there’s a chance, a chance that I think you need to take, Son.”

Joe nodded, but his rigid posture revealed that he was not very pleased in having surrendered to Doctor Wallace and his father’s suggestion.   Pa hadn’t missed the obvious terror that couldn’t be hid on his son’s face.   Joe turned for the staircase and despondently walked up to his bedroom feeling as though he would be stepping back in time by going to Littleton again.  He wasn’t sure if he could emotionally handle seeing the cabin again, let alone going inside and confronting the memories of abuse and torture which would be awaiting him there.  With great trepidation over what would lay ahead for him Joe made it into his room and collapsed onto his bed.  It was going to be a long night of worrying and wondering about what was going to happen once the two of them were there  confronting the horror that existed in the light at the cabin.

************

Adam and Hoss had been apprised about their father’s plan to take their brother back into Littleton and to the cabin there.  Both of the men wanted to show some kind of moral support to Joe, knowing that it was going to be the biggest challenge that he had ever faced.  They also knew that their Pa would be forced to confront the horrors there as well.  Coming home early from their job tending to the large herd the two brothers stood out in the yard and helped Pa ready the buckboard.

“That’s about got it,” Hoss said and turned to look at his father.  “Pa, I got those supplies you wanted and they’re loaded under the tarp under the bench seat.”

Ben nodded over to his middle boy and replied, “Thanks, Son, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t worry about anything here, Pa, Hoss and I have it well in hand,” Adam assured and settled his hand onto his father’s shoulder.

“I know you do, Adam,” Ben returned just as Joe walked outside holding his bedroll and saddle bags.

“Why are we taking the buckboard?” Joe asked with confusion showing all over his face.

Ben cast a quick glance between his two older boys and then turned to address his youngest.  “I have some supplies I need to drop off later, Joseph.  Just stow your gear inside here.”

Joe did as he had been instructed and as he moved to get up into the wagon he felt the hands of both Adam and Hoss reaching out to him.

“It’s all going to be okay, Kid,” Adam tried to sound confident for the boy’s sake.

“Yeah, Short Shanks just go on and take care of it and come home so’s you can help us!” Hoss grinned and patted his brother’s back as he launched up to the bench seat of the buckboard.

Joe nodded down at both of his brothers, unable to find the words to say at the time.  He knew that everyone had noticed the fear all over his face, there was no hiding it now.

“See you both in a few days,” Ben smiled over at both of his sons and then sent the buckboard into motion.

*************

The trip had gone as smoothly as a trip like that could have gone.  Joe hadn’t said much the first day and seemed more uneasy as each mile took them closer to their destination.   They had stopped for the night and had taken care of the team before Ben started their coffee.  He had made sure that Hop Sing had sent some food along with them which Joe could eat using his hands to make supper that night much easier.  They had turned in early and Pa kept a watchful eye on his son knowing that there was always the chance he’d bolt up from a dream.  So, when the night had gone by uneventfully he was very glad.  They headed out just after daybreak the following day and Ben had tried his best to time their arrival just right in order to place them there at the cabin around dusk.

The buckboard pulled up in front of the cabin just before dark.  Ben had timed it perfectly.  Joe focused on the front of the cabin as Pa pulled the horses to a stop.  He had never seen the cabin from the outside.  Joe had been drugged with ether by the Dalton brothers when they had brought him there from the Hilliard ranch.  Three months later Joe had been unconscious when the sheriff and Jax, the man who had found him, had carried him outside and into Littleton.  Staring at the place now, the cabin looked just as it had in his nightmares.  Joe shuddered at the thought of what had gone on inside there.

Ben cast a very worried glance over at his son.  He noticed how Joe looked frozen in time sitting there next to him.  He saw how the boy now hung his head down as he fought with his memories.

“Joseph – are you ready?” Ben whispered.

“I’ll never be ready, Pa,” Joe returned somberly.

“You can do this,” Pa insisted and dropped down out of the wagon and walked over to his son’s side.  “Come on.”

Joe hesitated for a few minutes and then came out of the buckboard and stood next to his father.  “Can we start down in the cellar, Pa?  I can’t take going in there right now.”

Ben threw his arm around his son’s shoulder and replied, “Sure, Joe.  Here let me get a lantern.”  Ben walked to the bed of the wagon and drew out the lantern he had prepared there at the ranch.  He carefully drew the wick to half way and then walked back over to his son.  “It’s alright to have a little light, isn’t it?”

Joe shrugged his shoulders and said, “I guess — since you’re not used to the darkness like I am.”

“Let’s go over here,” Pa pointed to an entranceway on the side of the cabin.  Both father and son walked over to the two wooden doors which led down to the cellar.  “This is how the sheriff brought Adam and me inside the day we got to Littleton and found you at the doctor’s office.  We can go in here like this – and later we’ll walk out the cabin’s front door.”

Joe stood staring over at his father and Ben could tell that he didn’t want to go inside the cabin, even if they were going to begin there in the darkness of the cellar.  “I’ll go in first then you can follow right behind me,” Ben sang out and opened the wooden doors.  He moved down the first couple of steps and then turned to make sure that Joe was following close behind.  Soon they were both standing inside the dank dark cellar which had been Joe’s prison for so many months.  It was pitch black and foreboding just as it had been all of the time that he had been held in captivity.   Joe’s pulse raced and he was finding it very hard to breathe.  He bent over and coughed into his fist, his lungs fighting with the thick musty air which was far too familiar to him.

“Okay now tell me,” Ben urged his son to face up to his fears.  He held the lantern out in front of him to get a good look at their surroundings.

Drawing in a hurtful breath Joe fought with his emotions before speaking.  “Over here — over here is where I stayed most of the time,” Joe pointed to the far wall and then moved, with his father at his side, to where his old blanket still remained.  He knelt down next to it and drew the tattered material up to show his father.  “This is where they kept me and this was the only bed that I had.  I stayed here unless I was told to move somewhere else.  Over there,” Joe paused again and pointed to a bowl which was secured to the hard ground.  “That’s what I drank from just like I told you on the stage.  But, I guess you saw all of this before, right?”

Ben sighed and patted his son’s back to try to put him more at ease, though he knew that wasn’t going to happen.   “All I saw that day was those two metal plates – and those two jars that you found,” he replied, making it a point not to mention having seen what had been left of the boy’s ropes which had bound him for so long.  Pa figured he didn’t need to mention those at the time.

Joe moved over to where the jars still stood exactly where he had left them months ago.  “I’ve always wondered what was in the last jar, the first one had pickles.”  Joe grabbed the still sealed jar and knocked it on the ground a few times and then opened the rusty lid.  “Figures – it’s more pickles,” Joe announced and set the jar back down.  He eased back to where the blanket was and pointed over to his right.  “Over there — over in that little area just past the stairs — that’s where I’d see my rat come in.  I could see his eye-shine, and then he’d head right over to me and would lie down on my chest.  It seems crazy — I know — but after being alone for so long I really looked forward to seeing him.”

“I can understand that, and no I don’t think it’s crazy,” Ben insisted trying to put his son at ease over the whole situation with the rodent.

Joe crossed the dirt floor making it over to the middle of the cellar where he called out again and pointed.  “I thought this was a pipe, Pa — but I guess it’s just a big old tree root.  This is what I used to set my leg.  I put my boot underneath this and tried to pull back with my other leg.”

Ben took in the information and fought his continuing disgust over the fact that the Daltons had broken his son’s leg and left him to die.  He found it hard to comprehend that Joe had attempted to set his own leg down there in the darkness.  “You did the best you could, Son.”

“I don’t know why, Pa — I don’t know why I even bothered with my leg?  I really didn’t want to live,” Joe confessed sincerely.

Dropping his hand down onto the boy’s shoulder Ben replied, “Maybe you thought you didn’t want to live — but deep down you must have wanted to, Son.   You never quit, even when you were in a whole lot of pain, you still tried to find food.  You were trying to survive, whether or not you thought that you were.”

Joe thought he’d heard a sound coming from the room above them and his heart stopped.  He was propelled back in time to the sounds which his captors had made.  Joe hurried across the room and over to the far wall where he dropped down and crouched.  Ben had heard the sound as well, but he knew that it was just the old cabin shifting with age.  He made it over to his son and tried to calm him.

“Just the place settling, Joseph — no-one is up there anymore.”

Joe squeezed his eyes closed, trying to shut out the awful memories but they persisted.  He could hear Silas yelling for Thorn to bring “the kid” up.  He could hear the sound of whiskey bottles clanking together and then dropping down onto the floor above.  Joe could still feel the hands of his captors as they dragged him up the stairs where they would do their best to hurt and torment him.

“Joseph?  Joseph it’s okay, no-one is here but us,” Ben reassured.

“Don’t go up, Pa, there’s pain in the light, stay in the darkness — you’ll be safe here,” Joe called over to his father, his voice rife with dread.

Pa knelt down next to his son and set his hand firmly onto the boy’s arm.  “Joe?  Joe, are you okay?”

“No, Pa — I’m not okay,” Joe answered, now feeling totally swept away in all of the reminders of what he had gone through up in the light of the cabin.

“Joseph — let’s go on up.  It’s not going to be the same this time — I’m here with you — nobody is going to hurt you up there again.”

Joe forced himself to look over to the stairs that led up to the cabin and whispered, “Pa, I’ve never walked up those steps before.  I’ve been carried, I’ve been dragged, but I’ve never walked up them.”

Ben stood and made his way to the staircase and then called over to his son.  “Come on, Joseph — let’s finally put an end to those nightmares.”

“Pa — I can’t – I just can’t!” Joe sang out his voice filled with increased panic.

“Yes, you can.  Come on — we’ll go up together,” Ben insisted and walked up a few steps.  He held his hand out to his son just as if it were a lifeline.  “Joseph, come on over here.”

Feeling weighted down with every step that he took, he drew closer to the staircase.   Joe attempted to fight back the overwhelming terror which had engulfed him.  He finally made it to where his Pa stood still reaching his hand out.  Joe reached up towards his father and Ben latched onto the boy’s hand.  He patiently helped to draw his son up one step at a time.  Finally the two of them were at the very top and stood there in the doorway that opened into the main room of the cabin.

“Oh, God, I think I’m going to be sick,” Joe muttered and turned to look back down towards the safety of the cellar and away from where he had faced such awful cruelty.

“You can do this, come on, Joe, get it all out once and for all,” Ben whispered and pulled his son gently inside the cabin.

Through the dark tinted glasses, Joe surveyed the room woefully.  Each object, each piece of furniture held a terrible reminder of the suffering he had endured at the hands of the evil Dalton brothers.

“Tell me all about it,” Ben, with a forced calm to his voice, called over to his son and waited.

Joe took a few precarious steps into the room and then turned back to look over at his Pa.  “I – I guess I’ll start from how it ended first — I have to work up to the rest.”

“Go on, Son,” Ben nodded and walked over to where the boy now stood.  The night was fast approaching so Pa made sure that the lantern would provide enough light for Joe to be able to get around the room.  He held it out in front of both of them as he watched his son carefully moving about the interior of the cabin.

Joe knelt down when he spotted the block of wood.  He inspected it thoroughly and then announced shakily, “I was right it was a piece of wood that they had used.   This is what they put my ankle up onto, Pa.  This is where they stomped my leg.”

Ben simply dropped his hand down onto Joe’s shoulder and said, “Son, I’m just so sorry.”

Joe pulled the block of wood up from the floor and held it in his hands for a few minutes.  He then turned towards the doorway which led to the cellar.  With an ever increasing feeling of rage, Joe sailed the block of wood down the stairs.  Both men heard the crash as it landed in the cellar below.  Ben was glad that his son had chosen to get rid of the reminder of what had been done to his leg, and he hoped it was just the start of purging the memories from Joe’s mind.

“It gets worse from here on, Pa,” Joe whispered as his eyes scanned the room.  He then went down onto his knees as he moved across the room.

Ben watched as Joe crawled on hands and knees across the floor ending up against a partitioned wall which separated the main room from a smaller one.  He couldn’t understand why his son had crawled instead of walking over there.  Drawing in a deep breath, Ben moved over to where Joe had leaned against the wall.

“Joe?  Joe — tell me what you’re doing now,” Pa asked quietly.

Attempting to explain his actions, Joe looked up at his father and replied, “Pa – I wasn’t allowed to look at either of those men.  You know what they would’ve done to me — you know now –they would’ve used that knife on me if I didn’t follow their instructions.  They made me crawl over here — I guess it was the night before they broke my leg and then left.”

Kneeling there alongside his son Ben asked, “So they made you crawl over here just so you wouldn’t look at their faces?  What happened then, Son, why did they want you over here?”

Joe’s left hand found its way to his neck and he felt of it for a minute before he answered his Pa.  “Pa — they told me to keep my eyes down at the floor as they handed me the rope.”

Fighting the terrible reminder of the rope burns which he had witnessed around his son’s neck when he had first seen him in Littleton, Ben whispered, “They had you put that rope around your neck?”

Joe nodded and closed his eyes, still feeling as though he would be sick to his stomach.  “Yeah — they told me they were going to hang me, Pa.  To tell you the truth I wasn’t sure if they were really going to do it or not.  They just loved to mess with my mind — it was almost as gratifying to them as hurting my body – but not quite.  I figured that maybe they were actually going to kill me this time, so I put it around my neck and waited.  I couldn’t see what was going on after that because they told me to close my eyes after the rope was on me.  Then I started to feel it yank little by little.  Then they called for me to get up and try to fight being hung by stretching as much as I could until the noose was so tight that I couldn’t stretch and stand up any higher than the tips of my boots.  I felt one last good yank and then I started to black out.  But, then I came around and I was laying there on the floor.  They were laughing over at me.  They had cut the rope loose at the last minute.  They said that I was lucky that time.”

Ben pulled his son close to his chest and fought to find something to say which would be of comfort.  He couldn’t think of much more than his continued, “I’m so sorry.”

“I guess they were running out of ways to try to terrify me, Pa.  Maybe that’s why they left the next day — I don’t know.  Every time they brought me up it was for two reasons.  They wanted to torment me – and they wanted to hurt me in every way that they could,” Joe explained and then stood up.  His eyes fell on the metal bucket sitting just to the other side of the partition.  Joe moved over to retrieve it and then looked back at his father.  “Bucket after bucket — do you remember — I think I told you about this back in the barn that day.”

Pa solemnly nodded over to Joe and walked over to the boy.  “You told me that they dumped buckets of cold water on you, isn’t that right?”

“Yeah — they always wanted me clean.  Kinda funny isn’t it?  I mean they were filthy animals and they kept me down in the cellar on top of that dirty blanket but they wanted my body clean,” Joe stopped abruptly and his father could tell that he was starting to cry.

“Go ahead and get it out, Joseph — tell me what you’re remembering now.”

Joe sank down onto the floor and leaned against the wall, his hands pressed over his eyeglasses.  Ben could tell that the boy was dwelling on something which had happened to him.  He knelt down next to Joe and asked, “Will you tell me?  We’re here to confront these memories, Joseph, it has to be done.  Whatever you tell me won’t leave this cabin, I promise I’ll not tell anyone not even Doctor Wallace.  Tell me.”

Keeping his hands over his eyes Joe began, “Pa, this is just so hard — so hard.  They would take my clothes — then they’d dump all of that cold water over me — and then they’d make me beg just to get my clothes back.  It was the only time that my wrists weren’t tied together.  But I’d have to stay here, on my knees, and beg them to give me back my clothes.  They just enjoyed humiliating me.”

Pa shook his head so full of repulsion that he felt paralyzed for a few minutes.  He looked over at his son and heard his cries and wished he could kill the Dalton brothers all over again.  “It’s going to be alright, Son, it’s going to be alright,” He whispered.

“Oh Pa — how will it ever be alright again?  I haven’t even gotten to the worst of it yet and I can hardly breathe.  I know this isn’t easy for you to hear any more than it is for me to say.  It’s all just so bad – just so bad,” Joe cried shaking his head hopelessly back and forth in his hands.

“We’ll get through this, Joseph — I know we will,” Ben assured his son even though it was the biggest acting job of his life.  He was finding everything that Joe had already told him to be excruciating.  And he could just imagine how the boy was feeling to have to relive all of the horrors and to say these kinds of things to his own father.  “I know you’re hurting — just telling me about what you went through, I know it’s a tough thing to do.  But, we will handle the memories together and then in time maybe they’ll stop hurting so much?”

Joe closed his eyes and pulled his glasses off in an attempt to push his tears away.  Fighting for strength he settled the eyeglasses back into position and pulled himself off of the floor.  His voice came out thick with emotion as he began once more.  “Okay, Pa —- I won’t go through everything or we’d be here for days.  I guess I’ll just hit some of these things as quick as I can.  That knife — you know – well whenever they’d get it into their heads that I wasn’t cooperating fast enough they would place it up onto my face and drag the blade across one of my cheeks to show me how sharp it was. I really didn’t need to be reminded — I had felt it before you know?   Sometimes when they thought I wasn’t eating enough they’d bring me up here and stuff food down my throat.  I would start to choke and they’d just laugh as always.  But, they made me swallow whatever it was — including the time they forced me to eat my rat.  They’d tell me that I had to stay alive because I was money for them — whatever that meant at the time — I didn’t know,” Joe paused as he walked around to the main room and his eyes fell on the wood stove.  On top of it sat the fire poker.  Joe lifted it up into his hands and turned to face his father.  “I guess they left it, huh?” He said and handed it over to Pa.

Ben took the tool into his hands and fought the dread again.  He very vividly remembered what his son had said about the man who had held it up, the poker being red hot at the time, and he had threatened to use it to seal up the wound that the other brother intended to inflict on the boy. *** Damned thing! *** Ben thought to himself and then placed it back on top of the stove.

Joe sank back down onto the floor trying to get the last few horrible stories out.  His heart began to beat rapidly just thinking about all that had been done to him and how he’d have to figure out a way to tell his father.  “It’s funny, Pa – funny how even the most horrible things can eventually become so common place that it becomes routine and you become numb to it.  I know they drew such great pleasure in hearing me cry because of the pain or the humiliation of what they were doing to me so they’d keep coming up with new ways to hurt me.  After a while I stopped crying.  I think that made them try harder.  At first I remember praying all of the time that you’d find me — and then after — well – I prayed that you would never find me.  I never wanted you to know about these things that I’m telling you about now,” Joe stopped speaking and held his hands up to his face once more.

Ben moved closer and sat down on the floor next to his son.  “I prayed every single day that we would find you.  Then days turned into weeks and then months.  I would never have stopped looking for you, Son.  No matter what you had to go through — you’re alive — and we can get past this.  Now, tell me the rest of it, Joseph.   It’s okay — I’m here with you — you’re safe now,” He coaxed as he placed his arm around Joe’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort the boy.

Joe kept his hands up over his eyes and whispered, “Pa — I guess you figured out way back when I was brought home what they had done to me.  It was the same thing that was done to me back at the house four years ago.  I don’t understand why – and I don’t understand how this could happen to me again.  But it was so much worse than what Cade put me through — even as horrible as that was!  You saw those bites — so you know – the Daltons were sadistic in all that they did.  They’re greatest form of pleasure wasn’t in how they hurt me, it was watching me suffer, humiliating me and hoping I’d beg them to stop.  I told you that they made me do things and they made me say things,” Joe paused again, fighting to get his words out.  Finally, drawing in a hurtful breath, he continued.  Turning his head away from his Pa he choked out, “I – I – had to say things, Pa, terrible things.  Joe paused and his voice changed to a soft whimper as he fought with the dreadful memories and then continued, “They forced me to say things when they were hurting me — when they were doing things to me – awful things.  They made me say that I liked what they were doing to me —they made me say that I didn’t want them to stop.  Oh, Pa, it was so degrading – it was so horrible!” Joe dropped his head down into his hands and wept tears full of sorrow and shame.

Ben pulled Joe close and held him in his arms trying his best to shield him from the ever present visions that played out in his mind.  “I wish I knew of better words than to just keep telling you how sorry I am.  It’s just not enough – it goes way beyond that, Joseph.  I wish I could have stopped all of this from ever happening to you.  I wish I could’ve protected you — that’s what a father is supposed to do,” Pa struggled to find the right words to explain how he was feeling and how badly his soul ached for all that his youngest had endured.

“I know, Pa,” Joe sobbed, and once again felt a few tears from his father’s eyes as they drifted down onto his neck.  “I’ll never understand why I have to go through all of these trials.  Why me?  What did I do to deserve all of this?”

Ben quickly brushed aside the sudden appearance of tears and fought to control his emotions because his boy needed him to be strong.  He cleared his throat in a valiant attempt to hide his sorrow.   He finally replied, “I don’t have the answer as to why you’ve had to go through so much in your life.  And, no, you didn’t do anything to deserve any of this, Joseph.  I’d give anything to change what has happened to you.  If I could change places with you I would, just so you wouldn’t have had to go through all of this pain.”

Joe wiped the tears away from underneath his glasses and tried to gather his last ounce of emotional strength.    Finally, after drawing in a deep breath, he continued.  “Okay — Pa – I’ve got to finish this I guess — since most of it is out in the open now anyway,” He pulled himself to standing and looked over at the table that stood opposite the wood burning stove.

Ben stood and watched as his son walked to the end of the table and over to a small shelf there at the end of it.  He witnessed Joe take down the kerosene lamp and bring it over to the far end of the oblong dining table and set it down there.

“I said I’d end with the beginning – so this is it,” Joe announced, his voice betraying the fear which was all-encompassing.   He walked over to the other end of the table, opposite of where he had left the lamp.  “This is why I’m still wearing these glasses, Pa.  This is what they did to me — this is why I don’t sleep and why I can’t face light.”

Ben waited to hear what his son was trying his best to explain, but after a few minutes he noticed that Joe hadn’t moved or spoken.  “Joseph?” he called out trying to release the boy from whatever was holding him back.

“This is just so hard,” Joe cried and dropped his head down.

“Let it out, Son, tell me about the light,” Pa whispered as he drew near his son.

“There’s pain in the light, Pa,” Joe insisted still fighting the terror that had fallen over him as he stood next to the table where so many things had happened to him.

“Tell me,” Ben urged.

Joe shook his head despondently and tried one last time to take control of his ever increasing fear.  “Pa, I told you about when they cut me —and this was the table where it happened.  I was pushed down right here —and over there,” Joe paused and pointed to the stove and the fire poker resting on top of it.  “That’s where the other one was with that poker.  That was the beginning to all of this.  After that I was told I’d better not ever try to look at either of them —and I didn’t.  But, there’s one thing that they did want me to look at,” Joe motioned towards the kerosene lamp which he had set down on the far end of the table opposite where both he and Pa now stood.  “They would bring me here each time and I’d be forced to watch what they were getting ready to do, but they had their faces turned away so I could only see what they were doing with their hands.  Every time they brought me up here after the night with the knife — they would take that lamp and they’d put in a new wick.  They’d fill the lamp with kerosene and then draw the wick all the way up.  Then they’d — they’d –

Ben witnessed his son leaning down towards the table top, so swept up in the memory of what had been done to him there.  Joe had both of his hands out in front of him on the table and his father could tell that in his son’s mind he had been taken right back to when it all had happened to him.  He fought to free Joseph from his daze and attempted to bring him back to reality.   “What happened, Son?” Pa asked loudly, trying once again to rouse his boy.   He was well aware that Joe was having an extremely difficult time trying to disclose to him exactly what had gone on after the Dalton brothers had lit the lamp.

“Pa — they’d light that lamp and they’d tell me I had to keep my eyes on it the whole time.   Then they’d take turns —- they’d —they hurt me, Pa.  They did exactly what happened to me four years ago with Cade.  I never would’ve believed that anyone could hurt me worse than he hurt me back then, but I was wrong!  And they demanded that I watch that lamp —and if I didn’t, they said that they’d cut me with that knife and finish what they had started.  They threatened to geld me they reminded me of that all of the time. And that’s why I never fought them.   Pa, they forced me down here on this table —and made me watch that lamp the whole time.  And by the time they both got done—–the wick in the lamp was always half gone.   That’s how long the pain would last, and that’s why — that’s why there’s pain in the light, Pa!” Joe exclaimed and suddenly dropped down onto the floor.  He wrapped his arms around his knees and rocked himself back and forth as he sobbed over all that he had lost to the Dalton brothers.  In Joe’s mind the pain was back, the humiliation was back, and so was the paralyzing fear.

Ben stood there and fought his revulsion over what his son had finally revealed to him.  He had known that Joseph had been injured and he had seen the scars which the numerous attacks had left on him.  But, Pa had no idea of all the many ways in which his son had been harmed emotionally, until now.  Overwhelmed with sadness Ben tried to take it all in and figure out how he could best help his son.  He hurt for Joe and he hurt for himself, because watching his youngest having to deal with the unthinkable was tearing his heart out.  He now knew why Joe had refused to remove those tinted eyeglasses, and he now knew why the boy couldn’t handle any lamp whose wick was higher than halfway up.  His son had gone through such torment and abuse that Ben wasn’t at all sure that he had done the right thing in bringing the boy back to the cabin.   Joe had been forced to relive the horror and his father had heard and seen things that he would never be able to forget.

“Joseph,” Ben called down to his son softly.  “Joseph — you got it all out— and I know how hard that was to do, but you did it,” Pa said and then knelt next to the boy.

“Oh, Pa, now you’ll have to live with all of this too!” Joe cried filled with regret for having told his father the awful stories of what had happened to him at the hands of the Dalton brothers.

Ben settled his hand on Joe’s shoulder and replied, “We’ll both live with this – but we will live—and that’s the most important thing, Son.  Now — we’re going to finish all of this.  I need you to go take care of that lamp!”

Joe didn’t understand what his father had said.  He pulled his head back up from his knees to look at him.

“Take care of that lamp like you took care of that block of wood, Joseph,” Ben insisted and helped to pull Joe to standing.

Joe pushed away the tears from off his face and walked to the end of the table.  He lifted the lamp and stared over to his father.

“Take care of it,” Ben nodded to the boy.

Joe pulled back and then sent the lamp crashing against the far wall.  It was smashed into a million glass shards as it exploded and fell down to the hard wood floor.

“Good job, Joseph!” Ben exclaimed proudly.

Joe moved back over to his Pa and noticed the way that he was staring very pensively at the table.

“Now, I want you to stand back,” Ben motioned for his son to move over to the front of the room.

“Why?” Joe asked, totally unaware of what his father’s intentions were.

Ben stared directly at his son and answered with fierce determination in his tone, “Because I’M going to take care of this damned table!”

Though he was emotionally spent due to a night rent with horrible memories and sorrowful confessions, Joe had to fight a smile when he saw the intense countenance of his Pa.  He could tell that his father was savoring the chance to destroy something which had played a part in all of the pain which had gone on there in the cabin.

By the time Ben Cartwright was done demolishing the long dining table it was totally unrecognizable.  He had, kick by kick and blow by blow, turned the wood from the table into such small pieces that they could have been used as toothpicks once he was done.  Joe stood there with stunned awe as he watched Pa vent out the pent-up hatred that he felt over the sadistically evil Dalton brothers and all that they had done to his son.  He had never witnessed his father show that much rage before, and that was saying something as Pa didn’t hold back when there had been an injustice done.  But Joe knew that his father had been hurt too.  He knew how much the man who stood before him loved him.  He knew that Pa had done his best to save him from those who had meant him harm.  Foremost Joe knew that Pa would have given up his own life if it meant saving his son from being harmed like he had been there in the light of the cabin.

Ben drew close to his son as he mopped away the sweat from his brow.

“Joseph,” Pa whispered and held out his arms.

Joe moved into the safety of his father’s arms and held on.  He could hear his Pa’s muffled cries as he finally let out all of the sorrow and pain which he had felt during his son’s recital of what had been done to him there in the cabin.  The two of them stood there like that for a long while; each of them drawing strength from the other.

“Let’s go outside now, Son,” Ben whispered and moved across the room with the boy there at his side.

Joe pulled the cabin door open and looked up at his father.  If Pa would have been able to look into his eyes at the time he would have seen the gratitude in them.  But, since he couldn’t, due to the eyeglasses, Joe whispered, “Thanks, Pa.”

On their way outside, Ben had retrieved the lantern and held it out in front as the two of them made their way out on the porch and down the steps.  The night was dark and without any sign of the moon.  Ben walked over to the buckboard and climbed up onto the bench seat and moved the team.  He made sure that the wagon was positioned so that the bed of the buckboard would face the cabin.  Pa climbed back down and removed a canteen from under the seat and brought it over to his son.  Joe took a couple good long swigs from the canteen and handed it back over to his father, who also drank.

“Are we leaving now?” Joe asked turning to face his father.

Ben shook his head and replied, “No – not yet anyway.  I’ve got something to tell you.”

“What, Pa?”

“That cabin,” Ben paused and pointed to the house, “and the land it sits on – I bought it.”

Joe looked at his father in dismay and asked, “Why would you do that, Pa?  That cabin is a place of horror.  I don’t understand.”

“Come here a minute,” Ben returned and held the lantern so that the boy could see his way to the bed of the wagon.  Joe followed, but he wasn’t happy about his Pa’s news and it showed.  “Pull that tarp open, Joe,” Ben pointed over to where Hoss had packed the supplies underneath the bench seat.

Joe reluctantly pulled the leather tarp out from whatever was holding it down and noticed two metal cans placed there.

“Pull those out,” Ben insisted, and he waited anxiously to see what Joe would say.

Joe lifted up the two very heavy metal cans and dropped them down onto the ground.  Pa held the lantern close so the boy could read what was written on each one.

“Coal oil?” Joe questioned, after reading the block lettering on both containers.

Ben nodded and fought a smile.  “That’s right, Joseph, coal oil.”

“I don’t understand, Pa,” Joe said looking into his father’s eyes.

Ben dropped his hand down onto his son’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows.  “You know what it’s good for?”

“Other than starting a fire – no,” Joe returned.

“Exactly,” Ben said emphatically, and this time he managed a grin aimed towards his boy.  “Since I now own the place — it’s time for a house warming – wouldn’t you agree?”

Joe, having finally realized why his father had not only bought the cabin and surrounding property, but also why he had insisted on them taking the buckboard on their trip, nodded over to him.  “Yeah — I think so too.”

“Now,” Pa began and turned his son to face the front of the cabin, “I want you to go in there — I want you to pour all of that on every blasted thing inside of that cabin.  Then, after you come back outside, I want you to douse that porch and the exterior walls.”

Joe stared up at Pa, and fear was very evident on his face as he insisted, “Pa – I can’t go in there again!  And, I sure can’t go in there alone either!”

Ben bent forward and placed a hand on each of his son’s shoulders.   He stared intently into the boy’s eyes and said firmly, “Joseph, you have to do this – and you have to go in there alone this time.”

“I – I can’t, Pa — I – I just can’t, I’m afraid,” Joe stuttered nervously.

Ben nodded and replied, “I know that you are — and that’s why you have to do it.  One last time you have to confront the fear so it won’t take hold of you.   Now I’ll be right out here waiting for you.  You’ll do fine, Son — I know that you will.”

“Pa — I don’t think I can,” Joe whispered.

“Go on now,” Ben stated firmly, and gave his son a quick pat to his back.  “Just leave that door open and set this lantern down on the porch.  Be careful where you toss that coal oil, Joseph.”

Joe didn’t want to go inside the cabin, even if the reason was to destroy it.  He looked into his father’s eyes and read expectation in them.  Drawing in a deep breath, and still fighting the fear and dread that he felt, Joe gathered the two containers of coal oil and began to move towards the front of the cabin.

Ben watched his son as the boy apprehensively made it to the porch and turned to look over at him.  He just nodded towards Joe and stayed put.  Ben knew the boy had to face his fear, though he also knew how hard it was for him to do it.  “Come on, Joseph, you can do this,” Ben whispered, knowing his son was far from earshot.

The whole time that his son was inside the cabin, his father kept a close eye out for him.  However, he also used the time wisely and set up a small camp in order to get the coffee started.  Ben also had a few other things to do there in the bed of the buckboard, which he took care of first.

Joe made pretty fast work of painting the remnants of furniture and the cabin walls with the coal oil.  Less than ten minutes after he had gone inside the boy had come back out and began to coat the porch and exterior walls with the flammable fuel.  Joe grabbed both of the cans and set them off to the side of the cabin and then retrieved the lantern which he had set at the bottom of the steps.  He made it over to his father and could tell from the look on his face that the man was well pleased.

“Good job, Boy,” Ben called over to his son and clapped him on the back proudly.

“Do you want those cans, Pa?”

“No they can go with the cabin,” Ben nodded.  He reached back to the bed of the wagon and grabbed up the torch he had just fashioned.

“Joseph, you asked me a while back what would happen if you could never make it back into the light, do you remember?”

“Yes, Sir,” Joe replied sullenly.

“I promised you that if that were to be the case then we’d just have to find you a new light,” Ben continued and reached inside his vest pocket and drew out a match.  He lit the torch and then looked back over at his son.  “How about we let this be the start of that new light?” he asked and then sailed the torch towards the cabin.  It hit the porch and the flames shot up and soon the cabin was engulfed by fire.

Joe stood in awe watching the flames shooting up the exterior walls and then a loud boom was heard coming from the inside of the cabin.  The fire was spreading so rapidly that only a few minutes later flames were up on the roof.

“Hand me your glasses,” Ben called to his son.

“Huh?” Joe asked, fearing his father was going to take his eyeglasses away permanently and he wasn’t ready for that.

Ben smiled and reached over and put a hand on Joe’s shoulder.  “I just don’t want you to miss this sight, Son.  I’ll give them back to you in just a little while.”

Joe drew in a deep breath and then removed his glasses handing them over to his Pa.  Ben tucked them into the inside pocket of his vest.

Pa watched as his son stared over at the rapidly spreading fire, he could read so many things on the boy’s face and in the way he stood there so rigidly.  He knew that Joseph was thinking about all of the terror and pain that he had endured there inside of the cabin.

“Those two evil brothers are gone, Joseph,” Pa began and pulled Joe closer to him, draping his arm across his son’s shoulder.  “Soon that cabin and everything that was inside of it will be gone too.  Before long the only thing that will remain are the memories.  I know that they’re not as easily destroyed as killing two disgusting men or burning down a cabin, but they do fade with time.”

“I hope so, Pa,” Joe whispered fighting with his emotions.

“There are two things I’ve wanted to tell you, Son.  And I want you to pay close attention to both of them,” Ben said and turned Joe to face him.

“What, Pa?”

“Now, I’m not just saying this because I happen to be your father — though I am glad that I am.  But, I wanted you to know that I think that you are the bravest and the strongest man I’ve ever known.  I mean it, Joseph.”

Joe shook his head as he stared into his father’s eyes.  “No, Pa — I’m not worth that kind of praise,” He insisted.

“Don’t argue, Young Man, I said it and I meant it.  Take the compliment — because it’s a sincere one,” Pa said sternly.

“Okay – well — thanks,” Joe whispered, feeling very humbled by what Pa had said.  Though he didn’t feel like he was worth his father’s praise he was very grateful to hear the words which he had said.

“Now as for the final thing I’ve wanted to tell you for quite a while,” Pa paused and grabbed his son’s arm and continued, “Come over here and sit down in the buckboard.

Joe walked with his father and sat down on the right hand side of the bed of the wagon.  He looked over at Pa and waited for him to finish his thoughts.  Joe was feeling a bit overwhelmed at the time, due to all that had transpired inside of the cabin.

Ben turned his back on his son, and was busy readying something to assist him with his final statement.

“A wise man told me something not that long ago.  I want to share it with you now,” Ben remarked, still not facing his son yet.

“What is it, Pa?”

Suddenly the sound of glass hitting against the wooden bed of the buckboard was heard and something went sailing over to where Joe sat.  He looked down to see a shot glass filled with rotgut.  Joe stared over at his father, confusion filling his eyes.

“Drink your whiskey, Joe!” Pa demanded and then broke into a smile.

Joe finally understood his father’s gesture and knew that Pa was making light of their very intense stand-off in the barn weeks ago.  Joe drew the shot glass to his lips and couldn’t help grinning.  ***Leave it to my father to come up with something to take my mind off of a night that has been filled with so much sadness by sending a shot glass of whiskey over at me! *** Joe thought to himself.

“You don’t have to hold a gun on me, Pa,” Joe remarked casting a wry smile towards his father before shooting the liquor straight down.

Ben nodded over at his son as he also drank a shot of the whiskey.  He figured that they both had earned it after going through such an emotional night.  Even if it was a brief calm to the on-going storm in Joe’s life, at least it was calm for the time being.  He knew that they had a lot to sort through and to accomplish but at least Joseph had been able to get out all of what had happened to him.  It was a start.

Both father and son spent most of that long night sitting together in the back of the buckboard watching as the cabin burnt down to mere ashes.  They spread their bedrolls there in the back of the wagon after eating just a little jerky with their coffee.  Joe indulged in another shot of whiskey right before he closed his eyes.  He hoped that it would keep him from remembering all of the night’s events and allow him to sleep free of nightmares.  At first light Pa handed Joe back his eyeglasses which he received appreciatively.  Then they made sure all of the remnants of what had been the cabin were no longer burning.  Satisfied that all of the embers were out and there was no longer a danger of fire spreading into the surrounding forest, the two Cartwrights headed back towards the Ponderosa.  Pa had decided to take a slight detour on the way home.   There was something that he wanted to show his son before they’d be reunited with the other Cartwrights.

**************

A day and a half’s journey found Ben and Joe sitting in the buckboard staring over at an overlook there at Lake Tahoe.  Pa hadn’t told Joe why he had chosen to go the long way back to the ranch or why he had decided to take him to that particular spot.

“I think this is a good place to stop and stretch our legs,” Ben stated and tied the reins down by the foot board.  “Let’s get out and walk a bit, Son.”

Joe stared over at Pa and could tell that he had something he wanted to tell him but wasn’t going to come right out with it.  He climbed down from the wagon and followed his father.

“Over this way,” Ben said and pointed to a large stand of trees.

The two Cartwrights began the trek into the forest and didn’t stop until close to an hour had passed.  Ben, having remembered to gather the canteen before getting down from the buckboard, handed it over to his son.

Joe took a good couple of long sips of the water and passed the canteen back to Pa and then asked, “How much farther?”

“We’re here,” Ben smiled and set down the canteen.  “Look up there!” He pointed to a towering Ponderosa pine tree.

Joe gazed up at the huge tree and then asked with confusion all over his face, “Pa, did we walk all this way to look at a tree?”

“Not just any tree, Joseph, this is the largest tree on this whole ranch.  It’s taller and wider than any other tree.”

Joe stood back as he cast another glance up at the tree and then over to his father.  He knew that there had to be a point to standing there viewing a tree but he had no idea what that was.

“Yeah it’s a big tree,” Joe nodded, not knowing what else he should say.

Ben turned and looked at his son and read the confusion on his face.  He smiled and placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder and said, “Joe, there’s a story behind this tree — it’s why I brought you here.  Long before there was a Joseph Cartwright your brothers and I were getting ready to build the ranch house.  I would go around selecting just the right trees that were to be hewn as the logs we needed.  A neighbor of ours told me about this tree.  I brought your brothers up here to see it.  Adam believed that we could have built the entire ranch house just from this one tree.”

“Then how come you didn’t use it?”

Ben pointed up to the very top of the mighty pine and returned, “I got to thinking about it and decided that since this pine tree had survived longer than any other here on the ranch that maybe it deserved to stay.  Joe, this tree is hundreds of years old.  It has survived more than any other tree around it.  Look at the surrounding trees.  They’re no where’s near that old.  That means that this tree weathered all of the storms alone.   It didn’t have any other trees around it to block the fiercest winds, most torrential rains or even the heaviest snows.  It survived all of that.  Look up towards the top,” Ben paused and pointed up to where the tree almost touched the sky.  “Do you see how it’s lost some branches along the way?”

Joe stared up to where his father had directed and remarked, “Yeah, Pa, I see it.”

“And, there on the east side — about halfway up.  Look it’s taken a few lightning strikes!”

“Yeah, I see that too, Pa,” Joe nodded.

“You know, Joseph, in all honesty this tree should have fallen years ago.  Not many trees make it after taking all of the abuse that this one has,” Ben turned and stared directly into his son’s eyes.  “Now, I don’t know why it had to go through all of those storms, and go through them all by itself, but it did survive.”

Joe looked into his father’s dark eyes and understood the point that he was making.

“It’s got some scars, it’s taken a lot of abuse, but it’s the tallest and strongest tree here on this ranch – maybe in all of Nevada,” Ben asserted.

“Yeah I guess it was lucky to survive,” Joe nodded over to his father.

Ben settled his hand on his son’s shoulder again and stared intently into the boy’s eyes.  “Joseph, this tree didn’t grow this strong and mighty in spite of all of the hardships and storms.  It grew this strong because of them.”

Joe knew exactly what his father was alluding to at the time.  He knew that Pa was comparing what the tree had gone through to what his son had endured.  Joe looked down to the ground for a few minutes fighting his emotions before replying.

“It’s a strong tree alright,” Joe finally admitted and pushed aside a few stray tears.

Pa smiled and nodded towards his son and replied, “It certainly is.”  He patted his son’s shoulder proudly and they turned together and walked back towards the buckboard.

Epilogue:

First it was a spoon.  A few days later that was followed by a fork and then a table knife.  It seemed like such a simple thing to master, eating with utensils.   But Joe’s family knew that it was far more difficult than that, especially when a person had been abused as much as he had been.  It had taken quite a while but Joe Cartwright had finally quelled the memories of how his captors had forced him to eat with only the use of his fingers.  He realized that there was no longer anyone who would smash his hands with their boots for using a fork nor punish him if he used a spoon or a knife in order to eat his meals.  His father and both brothers hadn’t made a big fuss the first time they spotted the young man carving into the roast beef there on his dinner plate.  There were however, a few quick smiles cast around the table, all out of the sight of Joe, so he wouldn’t feel embarrassed.  Hop Sing had grinned and simply patted the youngest on his shoulder and then hurried back into the kitchen to bring out more side dishes for the family that first triumphant night.  Joe could feel the eyes of all the others around the table looking at him, but he never let them know and went about eating as though it hadn’t been a big deal.

When Adam and Hoss had asked their father how it had gone at the cabin, Ben had been very vague in his answer.  He had promised Joseph that he would keep all that had happened between the two of them, and he was going to do just that.  He had informed Joe’s brothers that he thought that the boy would do better now that he had addressed all that had gone on in the cabin with him and that everything would play itself out in time.  Pa had also suggested that neither of his other sons should ask Joe about the cabin nor make any mention of the fact that the boy was still wearing the dark tinted eyeglasses.  Pa believed that it would all resolve itself in time; at least he prayed that it would.   Adam and Hoss promised their father that they would go about their daily routine as though nothing was wrong with their little brother.

Ben had written to Doctor Wallace to inform him that he had taken his advice and gone with Joseph to the cabin.  Keeping his promise about that too, Pa hadn’t divulged any of the horrific details that Joe had confessed to him that night.  He simply told the doctor that he thought that his son was beginning to act more like his former self and that he was very hopeful as to Joe’s progress in the future.  Ben had thanked the doctor for all of his help and left it at that.  He hoped in his heart that Joe would no longer need assistance from the doctor in San Francisco.

The annual cattle drive would be starting in just a few weeks and Ben was happy to see Joe heading out with his two brothers every day.  Other than much shorter hair, which had grown just a tad, and the dark glasses Joseph still wore, he was starting to look like his former self.  Pa noticed that his son had picked up some of the weight that he had lost and his clothes no longer hung on him as they had for months.  Pa wasn’t altogether sure how his youngest was doing inwardly, but outwardly he looked much like Little Joe Cartwright again.  The two of them hadn’t spoken very often about what had happened up in the cabin, though during the first few weeks after they had gotten home, the nightmares had returned.  On those occasions it had been Pa, and only Pa, who helped to calm Joseph down.  He was the only one who was acutely aware of what his son had gone through there in the light of the cabin.    But, the nightmares had finally eased up and now they were more or less a rarity, and that was something everyone was thankful for.

“Dad burn it, Little Joe!” Hoss fussed as he looked down at the checkerboard which sat on the coffee table there next to Joe.  “You could’ve double jumped me three moves ago but instead you just let me win!”

Pa cast a glance over at Adam who sat in the living room opposite him.  The two of them shot smiles back and forth between each other in response to what Hoss had said.  It was nice to hear the normal loud banter going on between the two youngest Cartwrights.   Pa and Adam exchanged winks, feeling very grateful to see that some form of normalcy had returned at long last.

“One minute you accuse me of cheating to win and now you accuse me of cheating to lose!  Make your mind up will you?” Joe replied to Hoss’ outburst.

“I guess now that I’m not bribing you with rotgut you ain’t trying to win, is that it, Little Brother?”  Hoss grinned and removed the last few checkers from the board.

“Very funny, I don’t need you to get my rotgut anymore anyway,” Joe insisted.  “Hey, I’m tired so why don’t you try to see if Pa or Adam will beat you fair and square now?” Joe said and stood from the coffee table.

“It’ll have to be Pa, Hoss, I’m going to finish reading this book since it’s the last one I’ll be reading for a while.  I’ve got to put up with you and the kid for two weeks once the drive starts so this is the last true peace I’ll have for a while,” Adam called out smiling.

“Pa?  You want to beat me at checkers?” Hoss called over to his father.

Ben stood and stretched and replied, “Okay, just one or two games then I’m going to bed.”

Joe moved to the staircase and called out a “goodnight” and then walked up to his room.

Adam listened for the sound of Joe’s bedroom door being closed and then moved to the lamp and turned the wick up higher.  “I didn’t want to say anything, Pa, but it was a bit hard to read with that lamp down so low.  How long do you think it’ll be before Joe comes out of those glasses?”

Ben settled down onto the settee and helped Hoss set up the checkerboard.  He shrugged his shoulders and looked over at his eldest and replied, “I’m not sure, Son, and I still don’t want either of you boys to mention those glasses to Joseph — not a word, okay?”

“Yes, Sir – I was just wondering if the kid happened to say anything to you about why he’s still wearing those glasses when you both were up at the cabin three weeks ago.”

Ben closed his eyes and thought back to how he had felt when Joe had finally told him why there was pain in the light.  He remembered so vividly the boy’s description of what happened when the wick was raised by the evil Dalton brothers and how Joe had been forced to watch as it burnt down.  The thought of it still sickened him and he fought daily not to dwell on it.  He couldn’t imagine how much worse the whole memory of what had happened was for Joseph to deal with.

“Pa?” Adam called out, noticing the faraway look on his father’s face.

“Oh – no — he didn’t say,” Ben tried to answer as vaguely as he could.  He wasn’t going to say anything that would violate his promise to Joseph.  “Just give the boy time.  I think that Joseph has done remarkably well since we got home.  His nightmares are almost completely gone and – well— you’ve both seen how he’s finally back to normal as far as his eating habits are concerned.  Give him time, he went through so much.”

“You’ve got red, you go first,” Hoss announced to his father.

Adam went back to reading his book and Pa and Hoss played a few games of checkers while Joe got ready for bed.  Things at the Ponderosa were beginning to go back to normal, and all three of the Cartwrights were very thankful for the large strides that Joe had made lately.

Ben played a few games of checkers with Hoss and then bid his two sons a goodnight before heading up the stairs.  He was going to stop by and see if Joe was okay but decided it was best not to hover over him.  Donning his nightshirt and slippers Ben got ready to crawl into bed when he noticed something there underneath the lamp on his nightstand.  He pulled it up and noticed it was an envelope.  His face took on a quizzical appearance as he sat at the head of his bed and opened it.  Inside was a single piece of paper and a pair of dark tinted eyeglasses, which he knew were Joe’s.  Ben read the note and smiled to himself.

Pa, would you give these back to Doc in case someone else needs them?  I don’t need them anymore.  Thanks, Pa, for staying in the darkness when I needed you there with me.   And thank you for showing me how to come back into the light again.  Love Joe

Ben stood and pushed the slippers back onto his feet and pulled on his robe.  He just had to go and see his youngest whether the boy was asleep or not.  Grabbing his lamp, and being sure to pull the wick down low, Ben made his way out of his bedroom and across the hall.  He was surprised to see light coming from the bottom of the bedroom door, he hadn’t seen it there in so long.  Pa wondered if Joe was still awake after all, and if he was, he was surprised to see that much light shine coming from underneath the boy’s door.  He quietly pulled the door open and walked inside the bedroom.

Joe was lying on top of his covers and had apparently fallen to sleep without changing into his nightshirt.  Ben moved closer and peered down at his youngest.  He smiled to see that the boy had evidently passed out while writing in his journal.  Carefully Pa reached down and lifted the book out of his son’s hands and tried not to awaken him.  Casting a quick glance over to the lamp, Ben was surprised that the wick seemed a bit higher than the half-way point which had been the highest Joe had allowed it to be raised.

Unable to resist temptation, Ben eased down into the chair at the side of Joe’s bed and pulled the book opened to where his son had left a pencil marking the last entry which he had written.  Pa felt a tad guilty for reading the journal again, but he just had to see if there was any mention about why his son had finally given up his dark glasses.  A smile filtered down onto Pa’s lips as he read what Joe must have written right before he had fallen to sleep.

*** I just took my glasses off.  It was a hard thing to do, but I have to at least try to live in the light again.  I’ve also turned the wick of my lamp up by a whole inch.  I guess it’s a start.  Maybe my Pa is right.   He said that things will be okay.  I hope so.  Anyway, today was a good day ***

Ben had to wipe away a few stray tears as he set the book on the nightstand.  He put the pencil where Joe had left it, hoping he would presume that he had placed the book there before falling to sleep.  Pa looked down at his youngest and smiled proudly.  He gently ran his hand over the top of his son’s head and sighed.  *** You are just as strong as that Ponderosa pine, Joseph *** he thought to himself.  “I’m proud of you, Son,” Pa whispered and then eased out of the boy’s bedroom closing the door quietly.

*** Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger wind, the stronger trees.  The further sky, the greater length, the more the storm the more the strength.  By sun and cold, by rain and snow, in trees and men good timbers grow ***

The End

Author’s Note:  Thanks to all of the readers who stuck with me on this very long tale, I hope I did it justice.

Dedicated to my story consultant Rob, who REALLY wanted me to do justice to killing those rotten, disgusting, and sadistic Dalton Brothers!

R.I.P.  Joe’s rat

Characters in this story can be found in: Best Medicine: Malice Aforethought (Samuel Hazelton), Whatever it Takes: A Part of the Main (Doctor Harold Peele, Nurse Hastings), and Every Purpose Under Heaven (Cade)