Summary:  Inspired by a Pinecone Challenge.  A conversation between two brothers.  One we were never privy to hear.
Rating:  G  (955 words)

Chasing Dreams

After dinner, while all the Cartwrights were enjoying a cup of coffee before leaving the dining room table and Hop Sing cleared away the empty dishes and platters, the announcement was made. Its ramifications on the youngest member of the family weighed heavily on the others, especially after the angry departure and the slamming of the front door.

~~~~~

The longcase clock in the great room had finished chiming one o’clock before he heard the door quietly open; his father and middle brother had retired to bed hours earlier.  From where he sat at the dining room table, he witnessed his youngest brother enter the great room and walk to stand in front of the fireplace.

Before acknowledging his brother, he heard the gentle shutting of an upstairs bedroom door. “Pa, he’s back.  He’s safe.  I know I hurt him, but I have to do this for me.”

“Joe…” Adam quietly called, pushing himself up from the table.

Wishing the room was as dark as the night outside, Joe softly answered, “Adam, I don’t want you to leave.”

Walking towards Joe, Adam sighed, “I can’t stay.”  He knew this proposed departure was harder on this brother; the still lit fire illuminated the remnants of tears that had streamed down his sibling’s cheek.  “My leaving isn’t a spur of the moment decision over anything that’s happened recently.  For a long time, I’ve had this… desire?  Feeling?”

“I know.”  Turning to face the man who for so long had been like a second father figure.  A father figure, but still, an aggravating older brother who could easily find fault in anything he did.  “But that doesn’t mean that I can’t wish you would stay.”

Shaking his head, Adam began to speak.

“No,” Joe quietly spoke.  He’d thought long and hard about the events of the past year or so.  “Why didn’t you leave after Will and Laura?”

Of any question, Adam never expected that.  Taken aback, he lowered himself into the chair so frequently claimed by their father.  In reaction, Joe sat down on the low table, facing his brother.

“I wanted to.  You don’t know the number of nights I packed my bags only to talk myself out of it.”

“Why?” Joe asked.

“At first, I was still healing from the paralysis.  Then, I felt if I left, I would be seen as a coward, running away from my failure.  Another failed romance.”  Sitting back in the chair, Adam inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly.  “One thing a Cartwright doesn’t do is run.”

“That’s not a reason, Adam.”

“No.” struggling with how the truth would be accepted.  Slowly, he began speaking, “I wanted to make sure that when I truly decided to leave, to follow my dreams…” Looking deep into iridescent green eyes, “I wanted to make sure you had learned everything you needed so that you would succeed.  This was the one thing I knew couldn’t become a failure — Pa was going to need someone to take over my role as his right-hand man.”

Cocking his head, to look anywhere other than his brother, Joe squeaked out, “Me?”  Then, continuing in a whispered, yet hurt voice, “I’m the irresponsible one, if you’ll remember our past.”

Reaching out to place a hand under his brother’s chin, turning Joe slowly to face him, “Maybe when you were younger.  But steel becomes stronger when it is tempered.  I know I pushed you, more than I probably would have, had I planned to stay.  Joe, you’re the heart and the strength that the Ponderosa, and Pa, needs.”

Silence stretched between the two brothers.

Adam quietly pleading for Joe to understand and not go off half-cock or lash out at him.

Joe, thinking of the words his brother spoke and what they truly implied.  It had been a long time since he felt Adam would really talk with him, not since Vannie Johnson’s murder had the two shared such a meaningful conversation.  And now, the words Hop Sing spoke made even more sense.  He’d been surprised to hear the quiet “Lit’le Joe” called as another father figure walked around the corner of the house towards him after he’d stormed from the dining room and home.  Now, ashamed of his earlier outburst, he felt a need to give his brother his blessing.  To let him know he understood.

“Hop Sing followed me out.”  Resting his elbows on his knees and interlocking his fingers, “He told me of a Chinese Proverb. ‘To believe in one’s dream is to spend all of one’s life asleep,’ which didn’t make any sense to me.”

“No, it doesn’t make sense to me either.”

Quirking a smile at the confused look reflected back at him, Joe continued, “He explained that, simply believing in your dreams without taking steps toward them is like living in a state of inaction – “asleep”.  I guess your steps was making sure I was prepared.”

The brown eyes looking at him were different; the hope that had been absent for so long was beginning to shine again.

“Adam, I’m going to miss you, but I understand.  If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back.  Well, maybe someday your dream will chase you back to the Ponderosa.”

“Maybe Joe.  I don’t know.  I just know that there’s a dream out there, calling me.”

“Like when Pa left Boston with you to head west?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“I hope you find your dream Adam.”  With merriment in his eyes, “I’m glad I’m the reason you chose to not sleep your life away.  Pa’d of been really mad at that.”

“Oh, you scamp!” Adam stood quickly and surprised Joe by pulling him into a hug.

The End… or is it?

A Pinecone Challenge is limited to less than 500 words, but there was more my muse wanted to convey.  So, we expanded the story a little bit more.  Okay, so it’s almost double the original word count.

Phrase:  “If you got a dream, chase it, ’cause a dream won’t chase you back.” — from the Cody Johnson, song ‘’Till You Can’t”