Summary: Marie wants a party, but it doesn’t end as she hoped. However, the man who caused the party to end finds his plans don’t go well at all either.
Rating T  Word count 2,698

Parties and Pickles

What Marie wanted, Marie got. It was an important rule on the Ponderosa. So when she said we were having another party at the beginning of summer, it was all-hands-on-deck making preparations. I had wondered at the sewing she had been doing and now saw they were colorful streamers. All the rest of the party preparations began the first week of summer, a strange and breathless time when accident, or fate, brings lives together.

The party began with the arrival of neighbors who could be heard miles away before their arrival singing songs. The clatter of carriages and wagons with voices in song and chatter with children yelling and cheering announced the beginning of a great party. My sons were decked out in their best with Adam and Hoss greeting guests and guiding them to places to park their conveyances. Little Joe’s job at five was to direct the children to the back of the house for play and refreshments. I greeted the guests at the table with the punch bowl surrounded by polished crystal cups reflecting sunlight like prisms. Marie circulated among the guests with gaily decorated trays of her special cookies shaped like flowers and the small red cakes Hop Sing had made. Wafting through the crowd was the tangy smoke from the barbeque where several of our hands were roasting beef for the main course.

Although I had told Adam not to pester the musicians, there was no fear as the girls would not let him waste all that time simply observing the festivities. Soon he was dancing with the rest of the guests or at least those willing to give it a try. Hoss was sampling the food until Adam directed a young girl his way, and soon that son of mine was dancing too if anyone could call what he did dancing. Marie and I found time to whirl around with our guests briefly before dinner.

Unfortunately, that was the time for a confrontation. A neighbor, Jan, had accused me of spending time with his pretty blond wife. I hoped everyone knew it was his imagination, but ever since she had given birth to a daughter with dark hair, he believed she was unfaithful. Blond and light-skinned too, he had cause to be suspicious, but looking at me because I was the closest dark-haired neighbor was ludicrous. He came to the party because he heard all the neighbors were invited. I offered him food and refreshment which he threw at my feet saying it wasn’t enough and he wanted satisfaction. Several of our hands and Adam escorted him away but not before many of our guests were witnesses to the display.

The party broke up soon after as the festive atmosphere was gone with that poison spewed on the premises. Hoss and Adam worked with the hands to help carry baskets and other items to carriages and wagons. Both boys enjoyed escorting children back to their rightful places with their families. It took some time, but soon all that remained was the debris from the celebration. Cleaning up the streamers, leftovers, and various detritus from the party with others, I listened as Marie called for Little Joe and Hoss to come to the house to prepare for bed. Soon after, she came to my side looking so worried that she appeared ill. She asked something that chilled my soul. She wanted to know if anyone had seen Little Joe since the last of the guests had left. I tried to reassure Marie but I didn’t believe my own words.

“I’m sure he must have snuck into one of the wagons or carriages. At his age, he wouldn’t realize how that could create such a terrible problem. Adam, get our horses saddled. We’ll catch up to the caravan and find out if he’s with them.”

“If? Ben, you don’t think he did that, do you? You think that evil man took him, don’t you?”

“Marie, calm down. We have no reason to suspect Jan would take our son.”

“He said he wanted more.”

“I took that to mean that he wanted me to pay him money for his ridiculous accusation.”

“What better way to get money than to have our son?”

Everyone was quiet then accepting the awful logic of Marie’s statement. It did make sense. But they wondered if Jan had planned that or if it had been an impulsive act. The assumption was that Jan had taken Little Joe even if they would check the wagons and carriages to be sure he had not gone with some of his friends.

“Maybe I should go right over to his place.”

“Pa, that’s probably not a good idea.”

“Why not? If he has my son, it seems like a very good idea.”

“You’re angry and not thinking clearly. He might be counting on that. Let’s take some time and check things out. How about if we both ride that way and let a couple of the hands check out the wagons and carriages?”

“So two of us angry and upset and not thinking clearly are better than one?”

“I don’t mean to confront him but to look around and check the tracks. It might show if his horse was carrying a heavier load on the way back than on the way here. It might also show if he went somewhere other than his house. We could follow the tracks and find out where he is and if Little Joe is with him.”

Working at controlling his temper, Ben was aware of Marie’s hand pressing on his arm. That helped. He thought about what Adam had said. It was unlikely Jan would take Little Joe to his house. His wife and other children would have too many questions and concerns. If Jan took him, he had some other place in mind to hold him. By the time Ben spoke, he was much less harsh than he would have been without Marie there to get him to pause and think.

“Well, go get some supplies then. If we’re going to be watching him and whatever place he went to, we’re going to need some food and a couple of canteens. Get bedrolls too and slickers in case we get some weather.”

It was then that Ben noticed the bedrolls tied behind the saddles of his horse as well as Adam’s. Hop Sing was coming from the house with two small sacks of food, and Adam had canteens in his hands probably getting ready to fill them. Adam leaned over and whispered to Hoss who took off running to the house.

“What did you forget?”

Adam shrugged and managed a small smile.

“The slickers. It’s been so nice lately.”

“All right, we need to get going soon if you’re going to try reading those tracks. Fill those, and as soon as Hoss gets back with those slickers, we’ll head out.”

Wrapping his arms around Marie, Ben assured her that he and Adam would be careful, and they would find Little Joe and bring him back safely. She made him promise which he did in front of his other sons as Hoss handed the slickers to Adam. Ben put a hand on Hoss’ shoulder.

“Your job is to take care of your mother. We’ll all be back together soon.”

By the next morning, Adam and Ben were watching a small ramshackle cabin where Jan was holding Little Joe. They didn’t want to rush in because they were worried Little Joe might get hurt. At dawn, they had seen Little Joe attempt to run away and then be forcibly dragged back inside. Since that incident, there had been no movement and no sound they could hear, but smoke continued to rise from the small stovepipe that poked at an awkward angle from the roof of the shack. Outside, it was a peaceful setting. Inside, it was anything but peaceful. Jan was finding that keeping Little Joe as a hostage was a formidable task.

“Why do you want me with you anyway?”

“I didn’t want you.”

“If you don’t want me, why am I here?”

“Cause your oldest brother is wearing a pistol these days. I didn’t know that. Your middle brother has gotten a lot bigger. Even if I got the drop on him, I don’t think my horse could have carried the both of us.”

“All right, that explains why you picked me, but why did you want any of us?”

“Your Pa is going to pay one way or another.”

“Pay for me?”

“You better hope so.”

“Or you’re going to kill me? You’re going to put me in the ground? I know they put dead people in the ground. They can’t see. They can’t hear. It’s so dark. Don’t do that to me. I’m only five-years-old.”

Then Little Joe began to cry giving Jan his second crisis of the morning which was only a couple of hours long.

“I’m not going to kill you. Dang, I wouldn’t kill a kid. But you sure do make it hard not to think about doing that.”

Although Jan had meant to reassure the boy, it only made him cry more. Eventually, the tears subsided to whimpers before ending. Jan had a headache by then, and he had to wonder what would come next. He didn’t have long to wait.

“I have to go.”

“I told you that you can’t go. You got to stay here.”

“No, I got to go, go. You know, go.”

“Oh. That is something you can do. You can just step outside and go by a tree.”

“I can’t go with my hands tied like this and my legs hobbled.”

“You can get to the door and a few feet to the side. That’s good enough.”

“I can’t do it. You’ll have to help me get out there. Then you’ll have to open my pants and hold it. I can’t do it like this.”

“I ain’t opening your pants and holding it for you.”

“Well, then you have to untie me so I can do it.”

“But I untied your hands so you could eat breakfast, and you run away instead. Dang, I guess I could put a rope on you someplace else. Give me a minute to find where I stashed the rest of that rope.”

“Don’t take too much more time or somebody is going to be washing my clothes while I sit in a blanket. I can’t hold it much longer.”

While Jan searched through the stuff he had brought into the cabin the night before and earlier, Little Joe had to comment.

“You sure are a messy man. It’s a wonder you can find anything. Hop Sing would make you clean this up if he was here. He doesn’t let any of us be messy like this is. You know, he compared my room to where the pigs live once. I didn’t like that, but he might say worse about this place.”

“Don’t you ever shut your mouth?”

“I’m trying to keep my mind off having to go cause I’m about to go.”

“Hold it, hold it, I got the rope.”

A few minutes later, with a rope around his middle, Little Joe was able to relieve the pressure on his bladder, but of course, his mouth kept going. Jan used the opportunity to relieve himself too which gave Little Joe fuel for his vocal engine.

“My pickle is pretty small yet, but I told my Pa I want it to be as big as his someday.”

“Your pickle?”

“Yeah, when I use some of the words for it that Adam uses, Pa gets upset. When I call it a pickle, he shakes his head and smiles. He likes it when I compliment him about his like saying I  want mine to grow to be as big as his or things like that. I get more of what I want when I tell him things like that. It’s kind of the same with Adam if I say that I think his pickle is bigger than Pa’s. For some reason, he likes to hear that, and if I need a favor, that’s a good time to ask.”

“You really got them fooled. My wife and your pa fooled me too. They’re going to pay for that though.”

“You talking about the baby now?”

“You’re too young to know about stuff like that.”

“Maybe, but lots of folks are talking about it. I kind of have a habit of listening when people talk about stuff. So, yeah, I heard about that. Some of the kids were talking about it at the party too. We kind of thought it was funny.”

“It ain’t funny what your pa did with my wife.”

“Huh? No, we was talking about your wife and her hair. Your son told his friends, and they told everybody tonight.”

“What are you talking about, boy?”

“About how she lightens her hair so you think she has blond hair, and how she had a baby who has her real hair color, and now she doesn’t know how to tell you about her lying about her hair all these years.”

“What? You’re lying. I ought to give you a whupping just for saying stuff like that.”

Pulling the rope to draw Little Joe closer, Jan suddenly found himself in the dirt laid out by a blow to the chin from Ben Cartwright’s formidable right fist. Ben stood over Jan willing him to get up so he could be hit again. He and Adam had worked their way down to where Jan and Little Joe had gone to relieve themselves hoping for an opportunity to rescue Little Joe. They had listened to the conversation waiting for Jan to be distracted so he could be approached without noticing so he could be disarmed. It had worked out perfectly. After grabbing Jan’s rifle from the ground where he had dropped it, Adam plucked Ben’s pistol from his holster as he walked past him toward Little Joe. He only spoke as he bent to retrieve the rope that was tied around Little Joe.

“So you won’t be tempted. Otherwise, feel free to mete out some justice. If you could add a dollop of intelligence, it would be helpful, but I’m afraid it’s not possible.”

While Adam proceeded to free Little Joe, Ben gave Jan a bit of a lesson in being a responsible adult. Then with a warning to ask forgiveness of his wife and not blame her, Ben sent him on his way.

“Boys, it’s time to go home. Your mother is worried sick.”

“I’ll give Mama kisses and hugs until she feels better.”

Little Joe was quiet briefly.

“Uh, Pa, did you hear what we were talking about by that tree?”

“Why, yes, we did hear all of that, Little Joe. We heard it all.”

When Ben’s eyebrows descended like an avalanche, Little Joe knew his troubles were not over. One look at Adam and that stone face, and Little Joe knew that getting any favors from him was going to be a huge problem. He guessed tears weren’t going to work at that moment so he opted for silence at least briefly although he thought a tear sliding down his cheek occasionally might soften two hearts on the ride home.

When Little Joe got home, he did as promised and showered his Mama with hugs and kisses. He held the tears as well smiling most of the time until he had a question. With a couple of tears sliding down his cheeks, he asked in his most pleading tone for a favor.

“Mama, could we have another party? This last one didn’t end very well for me.”

“Of course, my precious son. Of course, we can have another party.”

Hoss grinned, Adam rolled his eyes, and Ben looked to heaven as his shoulders slumped. Little Joe looked at all of them with the most angelic smile. But then he couldn’t help himself and winked at Adam before throwing his arms around Marie with a most enthusiastic hug making her smile broadly at Ben. He couldn’t deny her another party at that point.