Summary: Hoss wants Maude, but she and Adam develop an unlikely relationship. Eventually Hoss benefits from the couple’s relationship in a way no one could ever have predicted but only after they experience a series of adventures.
Rating: PG  Word count: 24,152

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Maude

Chapter 1 – The Trading Post

As Adam later recalled, the first time he and Hoss met Maude, he knew that Hoss would fall in love with her. There are some women who can give a man a look and make him think he’s the center of the world, if not the universe. As soon as she gave Hoss one of those looks, his heart was hers. It didn’t matter that Maude drank whiskey all day from a fruit jar under the counter in her little trading post. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t the prettiest woman they had ever met. She was taller than most women at about Little Joe’s height. She was a brunette with eyes that were blue or green, depending on the light. Strong and capable, she still moved with grace and poise. Hoss eagerly looked forward to every visit when they took cattle or horses to sell in California. Older than Hoss, but probably only by about five years, in life experience and knowing the world, she was far older than he was. Though she spoke sweetly to her customers, there was a cynicism there as well that was stronger than Adam’s, and to him, that said a lot about her. She was a complex woman. Adam was intrigued by her. Hoss was infatuated.

Hoss didn’t see any of her traits other than she was sweet to him, touching his cheek and kissing his forehead, so he saw her as a darling lady. The pain she was masking was hidden so well that he didn’t see that either. If he had seen it, he probably would have loved her more. It would have made him want to help her, but she didn’t need his gentle, kind love. Adam understood there were reasons why she took swigs from that fruit jar as regular as clockwork. There was a depth of pain inside her that needed to be treated by the numbing effects of alcohol as much as any severely injured patient needed sedation by a doctor. Maude needed strength from a man. What she wanted was a man strong enough to protect her from the battering ram of the world. She needed a man who would use his power to shield her.

When the door to her quarters was ajar, Adam saw books lining the shelves in her room. He knew then that alcohol wasn’t her only way to escape her present circumstances. He was familiar with that method of escaping pain by seeking an alternative reality and utilized it often. There were times he talked to her about her books. It was more of a refreshment to him than beer or whisky. Although it made Hoss jealous, Adam sought out opportunities to talk with her. He had to help her because he understood her better than Hoss or anyone else did. It did often mean time spent in her room which made Hoss seethe with resentment when he knew about it. He wanted to spend time with her in her room but had no common interest with her and was too shy to approach her with all the other men in the post’s common area.

No matter how often Adam tried to explain to Hoss how hurt Maude was and what she needed, Hoss would shake his head and smile knowingly. He told Adam how wrong he was. Hoss thought if she had such terrible pain inside, she couldn’t have such a dazzling smile and engaging personality. Even after years with Adam, he didn’t understand that people with terrible pain hid it or buried it to survive. He never understood the pain his brother hid, so he couldn’t see through Maude’s mask because he had never lived it. His love was blind. That meant he didn’t understand why Adam had to spend time with her and why Maude wanted Adam’s company. Adam learned to hide how much time he spent with Maude.

When it was late at the trading post, and customers had had enough to drink and leaned back in their chairs with their eyelids drooping or dropped their heads on their arms on the tables, Maude turned to Adam for conversation. She was always considerate enough to wait until Hoss was one of those resting his eyes. She would look across the quiet room and nod to Adam, who would quietly rise to respond to her summons. The couple made sure Hoss never knew how much time his older brother spent with Maude. Most of the time, by the time he picked up his head and looked across the table with bleary eyes, Adam would be there, usually playing a game of solitaire. The conversation was always the same routine.

“You ready to head out now and get some sleep?”

“Ready if you are.”

The next day, Maude would bid them farewell with a hug for each of them, but Hoss never realized there was a special whisper for Adam. Then, when the trail took the brothers back to Maude’s place, Adam got a bigger smile when they entered. Each time, Hoss noticed and accused Adam of trying to steal his gal. The words were delivered in a jovial way, but there was an underlying current that was negative. For several years, on every visit, Adam denied the accusation until the day arrived when he realized he loved her. But he wondered about that love and how deep it was. He finally broached the subject with Maude.

“I’ve known you for close to five years now, Maude. There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Are you ready to set off on those travels you like to talk about? With all you have told me about your failed relationships and the difficulties with your father and getting along with your brothers, I am surprised you haven’t already gone.”

“No, well, taking time to travel is getting close, but this is about you, or rather, it’s about us. Maude, we are from very different worlds. I never expected that there would be anything between us, but lately, I have been having this thought. I may as well say it. I think I love you.”

While Adam waited, wondering what her reaction would be, Maude was surprised. Something she thought she would keep a secret forever could be revealed. She had to trust him enough to tell him.

“I have to admit I’ve been thinking about the same kind of thing. I thought perhaps it would forever be my secret, and I had hoped to hear a more definite statement from you before revealing that secret.”

“I’m sorry, but I had to be honest with you.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s that I think I have the same worry that you might have. We have such different backgrounds. We haven’t spent that much time together, yet I think I may love you. I thought if you were stronger in what you said that I could ignore my doubts, but I can’t because you have the same concerns, don’t you?”

“Yes, it would seem we have the same insecurities.”

They talked more and admitted that what they could agree on was that they did love each other. They agreed too that they ought to tell Hoss although Adam wanted to hold back until he was sure. Maude worried that he might never be sure. But when pushed, Adam couldn’t deny his feelings.

“I guess I’m as sure then as I can be. I’ll have to tell him. I don’t know how to do it or when.”

“You’ll find a way.”

“I wish I had your confidence. This is a complicated situation because of how he feels.”

“He doesn’t think I love him, does he? Oh, I never meant to give him that impression.”

“I know, but he has a fertile imagination when a woman is nice to him. I hope I can find a way to handle this. I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to hurt him.”

It didn’t go well when Adam and Hoss had that conversation. It happened sooner than Adam wanted when the two were drinking at the trading post late the next day. That was when Hoss decided he wanted to know why Adam had been in Maude’s room so long with the door closed. Being evasive, Adam said they were talking. Hoss wouldn’t let it go and pushed for more of an answer asking at least six times.

“When you gonna stop pestering Maude and give me a chance. All these meetings in her room are giving her the wrong ideas, I think. That’s all you been doing, right, is talking about them books you both like?”

Worried about what he had to tell his brother, Adam had a few more drinks than was usual for him. It was not a good idea.

“All right, I am not pestering her. We have been talking about more than books. We’ve been talking about us.”

“What do you mean when you say that? You up and took my gal away from me?”

“Hoss, Maude was never yours. You never had a chance with her. She likes you, but she loves me. I love her. We’re going to be together.”

Hoss stomped away and began packing up their things to head home even though it was late. Walking to his brother, Adam grabbed the gear he was packing and waited for the angry reaction he expected. Hoss communicated anger with every move he made and every look he gave his older brother.

“This ain’t over.”

“No, I expect it isn’t, but riding out at night is a bad idea.”

Throwing the rest of his gear down, Hoss grabbed the things Adam was holding and turned his back. They settled down to wait for morning not expecting to sleep much. Somewhere near dawn, Adam did fall asleep. When he awoke, Hoss was already nearly ready to go. It was a small concession that Hoss waited for him before mounting up to ride out. Adam got to talk with Maude only briefly before he walked outside to ride home with Hoss. Not a word was spoken, except for what was necessary. It stayed that way for several days.

On that ride home, Adam expected a confrontation. Several times, he saw Hoss working up his courage to challenge him. Each time Hoss approached him, Adam saw the doubts and concerns overwhelm his resolve. With Hoss, it wasn’t difficult to see because any emotion affected not only his expression but how he walked and his whole demeanor from posture to pace. At the trading post when Adam had blurted out his feelings, it had been because he had been drinking, trying to avoid that very thing. He regretted how he had revealed the truth to his brother and was determined to do a better job of talking about it whenever Hoss decided it was time to talk. Although Adam had not meant for the situation to develop this way, when Hoss pushed, Adam had let his emotions get the better of him. He told him what he had meant to hold in his heart possibly forever and felt guilty about that but not about the content of those statements.

“Yes, Hoss, I love her. I don’t know when it happened. I only realized it when we got there this time. We don’t always know when something important happens in our lives.”

The words had wounded Hoss. Adam knew they would and had avoided saying them for that reason. At the trading post, after he had blurted out his feelings, he had told Maude he had to go with his brother. She understood Hoss’ pain and wanted Adam to help him with it. He wasn’t sure he could, though. He thought that Hoss had to help himself with this heartache like any man would. His job was to be there so he could do it. He did want it to happen before they got to the Ponderosa. Their younger brother and father would likely only complicate the situation and make it more difficult to resolve by adding their opinions.

When the two brothers traveled, they usually talked about many things, but not this time. There continued to be silence except for necessary communication. It was the third night when that silence was broken. The night was black as pitch, and their little campfire provided only a little light and precious little warmth. Hoss’ voice was soft when he started speaking but quickly gained an accusatory tone.

“I don’t understand. Why did you do it? You knew how I felt about her.”

“I didn’t plan it. It just happened. I wasn’t so sure I knew how you felt about her. It’s been years, and you never declared anything.”

“So all of a sudden, you love her? Love is or it ain’t. Thin love ain’t love at all.”

The accusation was difficult to answer because Adam was still wrestling with the idea of loving Maude. He wondered how he could love a woman so different from the woman he had always considered ideal. If anyone asked him to describe the woman he would want to share his life, Maude would never have been a possibility. God knows he had not wanted nor expected to fall in love with her. Surprised that he had not responded, Hoss wondered what he was thinking.

“Are you maybe not sure you do love her?”

“I’m sorry, but I do love her. What I don’t know is how much I love her or why I love her.”

“Well, damn, older brother, that’s easy. She’s always got a smile for you. She likes them books like you like. She’s strong and brave. Tough as anybody I’ve ever known, she might bend, but she won’t never break. She’s the kind of woman a man would be proud to have by his side no matter where he lived or where he went.”

It started with a little chuckle, but Hoss started laughing then. Adam joined in. Hoss had helped him with his doubts and answered his own questions.

Although Adam hoped that conversation settled things between them, it wasn’t the end. Hoss had been infatuated with Maude for too many years to let it go that easily. The hurt would take time to heal. Hoss couldn’t hide anything, and Adam knew his father and youngest brother would quickly realize something had gone wrong on this trip. They would be asking questions, and it wouldn’t be long before they knew everything. Once their father got Hoss talking, inevitably one revelation would lead to another.

On the last night before they arrived on the Ponderosa, Hoss brought up another point. It was one that had Adam concerned too.

“If I brought Maude home, Pa would maybe be a little concerned but not much. She and me, well, we live in the same kind of world. But you and Maude are like from two different worlds. You could maybe live in hers for a while, but can she live in yours? And what’s Pa going to think of her on your arm? You know how he cares about what people say, and they’re going to have a time of it with this.”

“There’s more to Maude than you know. Hell, there’s more to Maude than I know. I don’t care what people say. You know I never have unless it hurts someone I know.”

“If it hurts Maude, what will you do?”

“I’ll take care of it.”

The look Adam had at that point was the start of convincing Hoss that Adam did love Maude, but it was going to take more. Hoss forgot about this conversation until later when the gossip did start, and then he wondered what Adam would do.

After all the talking he and Hoss had done, Adam realized Maude knew almost all of his past, but he had been unable to draw her out about much of hers. He didn’t know why she was so guarded about her past nor what the cause of her great pain was. Someday, he hoped she would trust him enough to tell him everything. He knew there wouldn’t be much of a future for them if she didn’t trust him. He needed her to trust him.

 

Chapter 2 – Home on the Ponderosa

All hopes Adam had of a quick resolution to any issues relating to Maude were dashed when they arrived on the Ponderosa only to have Hoss announce at dinner that Adam had ‘stolen’ his gal away from him. That started a rather lively conversation in which Joe interjected himself rather forcefully. It led to weeks of snide remarks and innuendo from the youngest brother who saw Adam’s actions as betrayal. That made it all the more difficult for Hoss to let go of his negative feelings too. He made enough comments to make the situation volatile. Ben thought he ought to intervene, but the one he chose for the talk was Adam. It wasn’t that he held him responsible or that he thought he could do more about it than the other two. He was worried about him.

“Have you and Maude made any plans?”

Bristling a little because he sensed an implied criticism in the question, Adam didn’t answer directly.

“Do you share my brothers’ attitude about the situation?”

“No, I do not. I was asking because I thought perhaps you might like to take some time to go see her.”

Sensing then what his father was doing, Adam relaxed.

“I do want to see her, but I need to know that this hornets’ nest is calmed down somehow. I’ve got an idea about how to do that. If you can give me and Hoss a short time off, maybe things can be fixed.”

With Ben’s encouragement, the next day, Adam and Hoss talked and agreed to a return visit to see Maude and find out how she felt after weeks to reconsider. By the time they returned, Hoss had come to terms with what had happened. Joe wasn’t giving up so easily and continued with the same type of comments he had made before Hoss and Adam made that trip.

As far as Hoss was concerned, it continued to happen too many times. Joe commented, and Adam bristled. A more serious confrontation loomed if there wasn’t an intervention. Hoss knew that their father would likely make things worse if he tried to do anything. It wasn’t a situation that would benefit from one of his sermons nor by one of his fatherly attempts at finding an analogy that would illustrate the situation so well it would calm the waters. No, Hoss knew he would have to be the one, and Joe was the one who needed the talk. It was finding the right time and the right words to explain it to him that was the hard part. He began to realize the timing and the words might not have to be perfect because anything he did was going to be better than leaving the problem fester. When Adam rode to town with their father, he sought out Joe thinking there would be time for him to process the words before Adam returned.

“Joe, hey, Joe, where did you get yourself to?”

“Back here, Hoss. Thought I’d get a start on the new corral. Adam was supposed to do it, but like his habit lately, he doesn’t do what he should.”

“Joe, that’s why I was looking for you.”

Pausing in his work, Joe was ready. He assumed Hoss was prepared to take a stand against what Adam had done. Yet, Hoss looked more troubled than resolute.

“What’s eating you? You know what you have to do.”

“I do, but it ain’t what you think.”

“What? Spit it out. I got your back, not like our older brother.”

“Joe, that’s it. I don’t hold anything against Adam. We took that trip to see Maude to get things straight between us. I wanted us all to talk, but Maude said she wanted to go on a picnic with me.”

“See, that shows something right there.”

“Joe, let me finish. She wanted to show me there wasn’t anything there like you’re thinking. She told Adam to come join us in an hour or two so we could talk. I found out on that picnic that I wasn’t ready to say I loved her. At one point, I thought I heard someone. She said it was Adam. I asked her how she knew. She said ‘I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world’.”

“So, without looking, she knew it was him?”

“Yeah. We were still talking so he didn’t interrupt.”

“They’re really in love.”

“Yeah. By everything I can tell, they are. It’s all good between me and Maude now. I know now I wasn’t in love with her like I thought I was. I wanted to be in love with her, and I wanted her to be in love with me, but I never done nothing to make that happen. That’s on me. Now Adam just was himself with her, and she decided she liked him that way.” Hoss saw the grin forming on his younger brother. “I know. There’s a lot to be said about that, but it’s what the two of them want, and it’s real.”

“I guess I’ve been out of line with things I’ve said. Hoss, but I only wanted to show my support.”

“I’m not the brother who needs your support.”

“It’ll be fine, Hoss. I’ll be sweet when I talk to him. You know how sweet I can be. I’ll smooth it all over.”

The two brothers worked until they heard the wagon. But when they turned the corner by the barn, they discovered only their father had returned.

“Where’s Adam?”

“Yeah, Pa, he’s all right, ain’t he?”

“If you mean did he get hurt in town, then yes, he’s all right. If you mean, is he all right after what’s been happening here, then, no, he’s not all right. He feels that he has let the family down. He’s headed to the timber camp to get some work done there. I’m sure it was to escape the emotional pressure he was facing here. He wanted to get away both by distance and by immersing himself in work. After that, he plans to go to see Maude because he says they have some things to work out too. I’m sure he’s not comfortable yet in that relationship, and with what has happened in his family, he’s even more troubled about it.”

“Pa, I’m sorry about the things I said. Hoss explained the whole situation to me while the two of you were gone, and I was hoping to talk it out with Adam.”

“I’m sure he would have appreciated that, but you two waited too long. He may be a reasonably patient man at least most of the time, but you pushed him past his limits.”

“Pa, I’m as sorry as Joe, but it took some time for me to get used to the idea of Adam being with Maude.”

“Oh, it took some time for you to get used to Adam being with Maude, did it? Because after years of seeing her, you never declared your love or made any move to show that you had any intention of anything beyond being flattered by the attention she gave you on the half dozen times per year that you saw her? When she told you she loved Adam, and he told you he loved Maude, that wasn’t good enough for you?”

“Dadburnit, Pa, when you say it like that, it does sound kinda dumb.”

“Geez, Hoss, it probably doesn’t matter how you say it when you put all the facts together like that.”

“Oh, when you put the facts together like that, it all makes sense, does it? So I guess my son who fancies himself a detective wasn’t able to see those facts before and put them together because none of them required any work to find, now did they? Instead, you thought you could torment your brother with snide comments and innuendo after he had already endured quite a bit of that from Hoss that made him justify his feelings. You do know how much he doesn’t like to do anything like that, don’t you? Or have your detective skills failed in that regard too?”

Leaving both sons with heads hanging low, Ben turned on his heel and headed to the house. He hoped he had done what was needed to get his younger two sons thinking straight. He was concerned that his eldest son was going to have a difficult time with his thoughts, and he hoped it wouldn’t interfere with his work at the timber camp. If he wasn’t paying full attention there, he could get hurt. Ben could only pray too that the meeting with Maude would go well. He didn’t know the lady other than who she was, but he was confident that Adam must have seen underlying personality characteristics that were exemplary. His prayers were going to be with the couple and hoped they could work out any issues that might interfere with their relationship.

Hoss and Joe watched their father walk to the house with his shoulders slumped and his head down. His worry for Adam and disappointment in them weighed heavily on him.

“Pa, shouldn’t have to go through this.”

“Yeah, Joe, he shouldn’t, and you know whose fault it is.”

“I’m kinda hoping you’re going to say Adam, but I’m afraid to admit it’s probably mostly us. We didn’t handle this very well, but damn, Pa can still make us feel like schoolboys caught being mean to the little girls.”

Hoss began to chuckle then.

“What’s funny?”

“Oh, just picturing us being mean to Adam with us being the rowdy schoolboys and him being that little girl.”

“Oh, that is funny.”

Joe cackled for a while, but Hoss had a warning for him.

“Don’t you never repeat any of that in front of Pa or Adam or anybody who might tell them. Don’t never forget who it was taught us how to fight, and I don’t want to get him mad enough to give me another lesson.”

“I’m worried about him.”

“Me too, Joe, but don’t get no ideas about chasing up to the timber camp.”

“Why not? I could talk to Adam and straighten it all out.”

“Or make it worse. There ain’t exactly much time up there to have a long conversation, and if you distract him from his work, he could get hurt real bad.”

Disappointed, the two walked back to the site of the new corral. Joe leaned on the post he had placed earlier. Hoss could tell he was thinking. That tended to make him worry because Joe, thinking of a plan or scheme, often meant trouble. Then Joe started to talk, and the hairs on the back of Hoss’ neck stood up like they sometimes did when there were storms nearby.

“Hoss, I’m thinking that if he’s going to see Maude, we could send something to her trading post for him to open when he gets there.”

“You know, you had me real worried, but that does sound like a good plan. What were you thinking of sending?”

“We could package up some satin sheets and lavender soap. After a week at the timber camp and then riding to her post, Adam’s going to need a bath.”

“Satin sheets and lavender soap? Dadburnit, Joe, we’re supposed to make things better, not make him more upset with us.”

“Why would he be upset?”

“They ain’t done nothing much more than kiss. It’s a trading post. If there had been anything more, everybody would have known.”

“Oh, I guess maybe some chocolates and a fine bottle of wine then?”

“Now, you’re talking. I think he’d get the picture then. We’re sorry, and we hope his romance goes well.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was trying to say. Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory. We’ll help him make a great memory.”

The two brothers told Ben what they planned, and he approved. The package was on its way within two days.

At the timber camp, Adam was on his way only a day later than that. After marking trees and making an inspection, the camp foreman told him he ought to go work out whatever problem he had before he got himself killed.

“Thank you for the mapping. It will help the cutting for the next month. Your ideas for improving how we do things will speed things up too. But I don’t want you near any cutting or where we’re moving logs. You’re gonna get hurt. Best you head out and fix whatever needs fixing that you came here to avoid.”

Although Adam wanted to argue with the man because anyone analyzing him like that was usually going to get an argument, the man had hit the bullseye. Adam was too honest to challenge him on that. Pulling open his saddlebags, he thanked the man with a bottle of his father’s finest brandy. The next morning, he headed out to see Maude. Although a bit worried about how their conversations might go, he smiled for the first time since he had last seen her. The foreman saw the smile and guessed it might be a woman who had been troubling his boss.

But the foreman only guessed part of the trouble. Adam wanted Maude to trust him. By declaring her love, she had shown some trust, but by concealing her past, she was also withholding some trust. If their relationship was going to last, he needed her full trust. This trip was going to make or break their future. He couldn’t bear the thought that it might break, and that was what had him so distracted. Even on the ride to her place, he had to consciously pull himself back to the task at hand to check his surroundings, scope out the trail, and make sure his horse was in good shape. As he neared Maude’s post, he could sniff the smoke in the air with hints of bacon and tobacco wafting throughout. When the log cabin buildings came into view with the stable doors open and the yard neat and tidy, he was relieved knowing all was well.

What was unusual was a carriage in the yard. When he arrived at the post and walked up the wooden steps onto the porch of the large log building, two men walked out to stop and survey the area. They stepped aside to let him pass and then began to discuss the improvements they were planning to make before any stage runs would go through the area although apparently they expected freight wagons to begin hauling merchandise much sooner. Walking inside, Adam had only questions for Maude but waited for her to greet him and to see what she had to say.

“I wasn’t expecting you, but I am so glad you’re here. You can help me make the next decision.”

“The next decision?”

“Yes, I’ve sold the post and the land, but they have offered me the position of station manager if I want it. Should I take it?”

It was a lot of information to process quickly.

“We need to talk.”

“I know. I made this decision without talking with you. But we need some private time and I don’t have any right now. It will have to be later. You know how busy the place gets about now when I have guests.”

It was stressful for both of them to wait, but there was no other option. Maude did her best to take care of her guests early so that she and Adam could talk, but it was still ten before they had time. She opened the door to her room and waved him in. She closed the door for the first time since he had first visited her there not concerned at what anyone would think.

“I should explain what I did and why.”

“That’s not what I have to know.”

Surprised, Maude was silent for a moment. Then she knew what he would ride so far to hear.

“You want to know why I listened to all of your stories but never shared mine?”

“Yes, I trusted you, and now I need to know if you trust me enough.”

“I do, but I don’t know if you want to know this.” She knew Adam would only worry more with that statement, so she could only blurt out the truth. “I’m already married.”

Although Adam’s imagination had conjured up many stories he might hear, that was one he had not considered. Thinking about what he knew, he wondered why he hadn’t considered it, and he realized it was because he didn’t want to think that could be true.

“I was born in a prominent family in Philadelphia. I was an only child, but as a daughter, you must know how society is there. I could not carry on the family legacy. A marriage was arranged to link our family to another prominent family. I was seventeen. I couldn’t refuse my father’s command. My new husband was wealthy, powerful, and far worse than the spoiled son of wealth. He was cruel and abusive. He was perverted. He gambled my favors in games of chance. He watched other men with me when he lost. When I was with child, he had a doctor take that child from me. After two years of that and with my father unwilling to help me, I ran away with the son of one of the servants in his home. Jamie wanted to go to the goldfields in California, and I went with him.”

“I am so sorry that you suffered such abuse.”

Although Adam wanted to reach out to comfort Maude, she wouldn’t let him.

“I need you to stay there so I can finish this. I don’t think I can tell you the story if you’re too close to me. Jamie was killed after only a few weeks in California in a fight over a claim. I had to fight to save myself from men who wanted to claim me. I managed to stay free and opened a small saloon to make money. It was a struggle to stay safe, but I made a small fortune. However, the constant danger from the kind of men who are drawn to gold strikes was too much. I took the money and bought this land and set up this post. The mountain men and cowboys who come through here are more gentlemen than any I had met anywhere else. I have felt reasonably safe here.”

Sensing that Maude was ready to answer some questions, Adam started with a soft one.

“But you’re willing to leave now?”

“Yes, I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Because of you and the years you offered me friendship without ever demanding anything of me in return for all you did, I’ve changed my mind about where I want to be. You made me love you. Now, I want to be with you. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“I want you with me. I want you by my side. But you’re still married. We’ll have to do something about that.”

Maude almost collapsed with the relief his words brought. She had been fairly sure he would react the way he did, but there had still been some fear he might not.

“It’s been over ten years. Can that be enough to end a marriage?”

“By itself, I don’t know, but he may have ended the marriage if he wanted to marry someone else. I can hire someone to make discreet inquiries.”

“What do we do until we find out?”

“You should come to the Ponderosa with me. One way or another, we’re going to be together. It will take some time to do it properly. We’ll have to sit down with our lawyer and make sure we’re following all the laws as we need to. Don’t look so worried. He’ll be our lawyer. Anything we say to him will be held in confidence. He will act in our behalf. We’re not going to be trying to break any laws so he won’t have any responsibility to report anything we say or do. It’s my family’s reaction to you arriving home with me that has me concerned.”

“Oh, I think your family has accepted that idea. Let me show you what they sent.”

They ended the evening with chocolates and wine.

 

Chapter 3 – Home with Maude

When Adam returned with Maude to the Ponderosa, he expected a more joyous welcome than what they received. There were smiles. Everyone was polite. As he anticipated, Hoss and Joe took their luggage to his room without any comments. There were never any negative words, and all three of the other Cartwright men could not have been more helpful in getting Maude settled in the Ponderosa ranch house, asking several times what could be changed to make her more comfortable. However, there was that uncomfortable lingering feeling that something wasn’t quite right. It was as if they were too polite, too courteous. They treated her as an important guest who was staying for an extended period, although unspecified time. That is how Adam described it when he and Maude talked. His father and brothers didn’t treat her as a member of the family as he had hoped they would. The chocolates and wine had been a nice touch, but they didn’t go far enough to welcome her into the Cartwrights.

In town, Adam and Maude saw the looks that were more like sneers, but there were never any comments that could be taken as unfavorable. They were treated with the utmost courtesy wherever they went, but with no warmth. There were no invitations to visit anyone in their homes. Old friends smiled and acted appropriately. It seemed no one wanted to challenge Adam Cartwright, but no one was willing to endorse the choice of wife he had made either. The disapproval was as obvious as it was cloaked in social nicety. Adam and Maude discussed their plans to travel and thought that perhaps the schedule should be accelerated from their original plans.

“I wanted everyone to get to know you and for you to have a chance to get to know my family and the community. I wanted to feel like a family before we left.”

“It isn’t working. They know my past or some of it, and they have made assumptions based on those obvious things. I’m sure many of them think I married you for your money or I will marry you as soon as we get confirmation that my marriage is ended.”

“The papers should be here this week. We can be married quietly because they think we already are. Then we’ll be free to do whatever we want to do, but I don’t want to leave under pressure like this. It will feel like we’ve been pushed out. It’s not fair that you are being treated this way.”

“You mentioned that reporter, and that he wanted to know my story.”

“I don’t want our story in the paper. I told you he asked about you because he heard you had been running a trading post on your own before you came here. Dan likes a good story and thinks you have one. I told you so you could avoid his questions.”

“If it got in the paper, it wouldn’t be our story. It would be my story. That is, it would be my story before I met you mostly. That should be enough. Anything to do with you could be told in bare narrative so that nothing personal would be revealed.”

“Bare narrative?”

“He would likely want to know what happened after I sold my trading post. I could tell him only the essential things like you came to escort me to the Ponderosa and we were married.”

“If you can keep it that simple, I have no problem with it. Dan can be persistent though.”

“You don’t think our romance is the story he wants to publish, do you?”

“No, you’re right about that, and I trust you can handle him.”

“It could be published after we left.”

“Left?”

“We planned to travel, right? We could time it out so it’s on our schedule. I could tell him my story a few days before we left. We leave, and he publishes the story. That would be my deal with him.”

Smiling and showing his dimple, Maude knew he got it. Those who had treated them unfairly would be in a pickle, knowing the truth and unable to apologize.

“I like it when you explain it that way.”

“I thought you might.”

“I have another idea. I’ve been asked to bring my guitar to help with the entertainment at the church picnic. I have a song I’ve been working on. I plan to sing it. That’s about a month away. You could talk to Dan about your story, and we could prepare our travel plans.”

“I like your plan. Sometimes, when words fail, music speaks.”

When Adam’s inquiries brought the information they wanted, the couple shared only the minimum necessary with the family. The news was indeed what Maude wanted, but it arrived in a form she had not expected.

“I’m dead?”

“Only legally, sweetheart. I can assure you that you are fully alive in every other regard. Your parents did search for you and found that Jimmy was killed and that not too long after that, you disappeared. The assumption was that you had been killed for the wealth you had accumulated with your saloon. A mining boom town doesn’t leave many official records if any behind. There was no record of you selling your saloon. No one thought you had moved into the wilderness to set up a trading post. It was beyond their comprehension that a woman would do such a thing.”

“So my husband used that information to have me declared dead legally so he was free of me and could marry someone else?”

“Yes, and he did.”

“I hope he treats her better than he did me.”

From Adam’s look, Maude knew there was bad news.

“Tell the rest of the story. It can’t be any worse than what I’ve already heard, can it?”

“Depends on how you define worse. Your husband is dead. His activities led to his contracting an incurable disease. He gave it to his new wife, and she gave it to their baby. None of them survived. That’s the likely future your father had picked out for you. It was a wise choice to flee when you did.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask. You appear to have conducted a thorough investigation. What about my parents? Are they still alive?”

“They’re both still alive and still wealthy, but now childless, or so they believe. Do you want to let them know you’re alive?”

“I don’t know. I need to think about that.”

The next day, Adam told his father and then his brothers that some complications that had delayed their marriage had been cleared. He planned to invite the minister and his wife to dinner on Sunday if that was all right, and then have a small private wedding ceremony if the family didn’t mind. Again, there were congratulations, but without the exuberance that such an announcement might have elicited a few years earlier. They were married then, which is what the people in town thought they had already been because Adam had introduced Maude as his wife when they settled on the Ponderosa. No one was going to challenge him on that, especially when his family didn’t.

It took some time, but Hoss and Adam had a chance to talk about what was bothering both of them. They were together in the barn as Adam was saddling Sport for a ride. Hoss saddled Chubb and asked if his older brother would mind some company.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

After about an hour of riding, they stopped at the ridge above the lake, dismounted, and both admired the view that was always inspiring.

“I figured one of these days, it’s going to be your last ride for a long time.”

“You always knew I planned to travel.”

“Yeah, and with Maude here now, I figure it’s going to be soon.”

The revelation hit almost as soon as Hoss finished speaking.

“Is that why you and Pa and Joe have been so cool to her? You don’t want to get too close because she’s going to leave.”

“I guess so. It’s hard to put into words, but that is probably about the truth of it. It’s going to be hard enough to say goodbye to you wondering if you’ll ever come back home. Saying goodbye to Maude too is double hard.”

“Hoss, I understand. But do you know how that makes her feel? She’s being treated like a guest in her own house.”

The most empathetic of the Cartwrights, Hoss’ feelings could be read by his older brother, and the regret was obvious.

“Adam, I never meant to be so selfish. I wasn’t thinking on how it might make her feel. I am so sorry, and I’m gonna make sure to fix it.”

After the brothers returned from their ride and took care of their horses, Hoss was anxious to get to the house. Once inside, he hurried to Maude’s side. Taking her hand, he had a request.

“Would you come with me to the barn. I got something to show you. There’s a litter of little kittens out there I been nursing along, and they’re the cutest things you ever did see. Their mama is kind of a scrawny thing so I been helping out with making sure they stay warm and get fed right. Do you want to see them?”

With a smile at Adam, Maude took Hoss’ arm and they headed out the door. Joe looked at Adam as if to ask permission to go with them.

“Go ahead. They’re only looking at kittens.”

Joe rushed to catch up to his brother and his sister-in-law. The three had a lively conversation by the time they reached the barn. It wasn’t a perfect solution, but the atmosphere in the house and the relationships within the family were warmer than they had been. In town, nothing changed. As he made arrangements for travel for the two of them, there was speculation as to why the couple was leaving the Ponderosa. When they had first arrived, they had spent an inordinate amount of time with the family lawyer. Recently, Maude had spent considerable time at the Territorial Enterprise talking with Dan DeQuille in an office with the door closed. The rumors about it all were weak because the townspeople who loved to gossip couldn’t get any more details.

In the office, Maude told Dan what she wanted. He wasn’t so sure it was a good idea. To his way of thinking, Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. He said as much to Maude because he thought she was trying to be mean.

“No, I’m trying to be just. They condemned me on rumor and supposition. I will give them evidence with the story I will tell you. Then they can weigh the evidence and draw conclusions based on correct information. If they choose to find themselves guilty of some wrongdoing in the past, that would be justice. If it makes them feel bad, then they will punish themselves for what they did. There is nothing mean about it. The innocent will be informed. Any others can choose to accept the information any way they wish.”

“I can see why Adam is so attracted to you. You think in much the same way. You’re not seeking revenge. You want justice.”

Agreeing to her conditions then for publication of the story, Dan listened as she told her story from the time with her husband in Philadelphia through the decision to sell her station and travel with Adam to the Ponderosa. She purposefully left vague the date of their marriage or if they were married. Dan had to ask.

“You are married, aren’t you?”

“We are married. It was a small private wedding, and we want to keep it that way. It is our memory. I have shared everything else. That I want to keep for me and for Adam.”

It was a small request, and Dan wrote her explanation into the story. It added a more romantic element to the piece. The story was missing a humorous element, though, and Dan asked about that.

“Oh, I’ve been hearing all sorts of tales about funny things as well as serious things that have happened in my new family. Would you like to hear about what I think are the best ones?”

Dan was delighted to hear about Adam almost getting tricked into marrying Abigail because of one of Joe’s failed schemes, and he enjoyed the stories about Adam finding various critters in his bedroll on drives. He loved the story about Abigail, but couldn’t use it and embarrass her and Hank. He did think that some of the other stories were quite good, though, and chose to go with those. With that element added, Dan thought he had one of the best stories he could have and expected to sell extra copies the day it was published. He had to wait for the church picnic and then for Adam and Maude to leave on a trip with an unspecified duration.

At the picnic, Adam sang all the favorites, and then as the time neared for the picnic to end, he announced he had one more song, an original, to sing for them. Focusing his attention on Maude, he sang his song.

The bawl of a steer to my cowboy’s ear, was never the sweetest strain;

The yelping notes of gray coyotes were not a cheerful refrain.

No, I sing a jolly song that speeds me along,

to see the gal with shining dark hair at our home miles away waiting there

Out on the Sierra range There’s nothing I would change

My eyes are bright My heart is light

Because I have a gal with shining dark hair at our home miles away waiting there

So there’s never a care For my soul to bear

The winds may howl And the thunder growl,

No troubles to make me fret

Nothing I would change; you can bet

As long as my gal with shining dark hair Is waiting for me there

[Author’s note: For the song, borrowed some lines and paraphrased others from ‘A Cowboy’s Life’ by James Barton Adams]

At the end of the love song, Adam packed up his guitar and left with Maude and his family. On the Ponderosa, the couple finished packing, and they informed the family of what would be published in the paper after their departure. Hoss and Joe looked forward to it, but Ben wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

“When you return, there could be turmoil because of the story.”

“Pa, we’re not worried about that.”

“Oh, you’re not worried about that. Well, I’m worried about that, but I suppose it’s too late to change anything. Now that Dan has the story, he’ll publish it. Just be ready to face some trouble because of it. There’s no telling what the reactions will be.”

Both Hoss and Joe knew Adam wasn’t worried because he didn’t expect to be back for years, and any turmoil would be long forgotten. It would take Ben longer to realize his son was truly leaving and not just taking a short trip.

The next morning, with storm clouds looming over the Sierra mountains, Adam and Maude boarded the stage for their trip, leaving some turmoil in their wake. Some who had wanted to apologize and make amends were frustrated knowing they had missed the opportunity to do so. Others who had gained so much attention with the stories they had spread were upset that Adam had ended their escapades and thrown the whole thing back on them. None of them knew about the story that was about to make all of that worse. Dan knew he was free to publish the story when he saw the couple board the stage, and it was in the morning edition on Tuesday. It stirred the proverbial pot much as Maude and Adam had intended. Ben and Adam’s brothers had been given a warning before the couple left and decided not to visit town for a week. That was a wise decision.

By the time they rode into town, the anger of some had dissipated, but the curiosity of others was piqued. Only questions remained. They had no answers for any of those questions except the direction the couple had gone and what their first stop was going to be. They had to wait for letters to find out where Adam and Maude went next. It was a revelation to them to realize how little they knew of the plans the couple had made.

“Dadburnit, he always plans everything. He could have told us something about where he was going. Even when we go on hunting trips, he plans everything as much as he can and even draws maps.”

A moment later, Joe snapped his fingers and bounded up the stairs to the couple’s room. It only took a moment for Hoss to follow. Ben nodded, knowing what they were going to search that room to find. Within minutes, they were back with triumphant grins that faded when they realized the impact the find might have on their father.

“By your grins, you found a map he used for planning. Let’s see it.”

“Pa, it’s got a lot of lines on it. Maybe some are for the future.”

Joe was concerned about how their father was going to react.

As Hoss and Joe spread out the old map on which Adam had sketched out possible routes for travel, and Ben saw the lines from the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii), and then to Mexico and down around South America making several stops. Then the line continued across to Europe where there were many lines across England, France, Italy, and Spain. Ben was quiet.

“Like Joe said, Pa, maybe he was just thinking of all the possibilities.”

“No, Hoss, this looks like a plan of travel. What isn’t here is a line that heads back to the Ponderosa. It ends on the east coast in the big cities there. This trip could take years, and it appears as if there is no plan for him to come back home. I guess he’ll be making a new home.”

“Pa, this will always be his home just like it is for me and Joe.”

“Maybe, but that boy has a wanderlust that has to be satisfied. I know. I had it too. I never went home again either. I had Adam and then you and then Joe. I had a family so I didn’t need to go home. Adam has a family now too. He doesn’t need to come home. I can only hope that there will be a time when he wants to come home.”

That was a quiet night on the Ponderosa as they contemplated being a family of three instead of four on the ranch for the foreseeable future.

 

Chapter 4 – Leaving

As Adam and Maude traveled to San Francisco, the first stop on their trip, Adam brought up one issue he had not discussed with his wife. As they rested in their room in Sacramento, he was nervous about it, which she noticed.

“Spit it out. We’ve never dodged a subject so there’s no reason to start now.”

“We have talked about many things, but we never discussed this. We’ve talked about traveling without a care in the world except for each other. Neither of us is too concerned with having lots of possessions, and we can manage without a permanent home, but what if you are with child?”

Smiling, Maude was ready. Anticipating this conversation because it had been on her mind too, she had already conceded there might have to be changes in their grand scheme of things.

“I’m not, but I know it could happen. I guess we would have to find a place to settle for a time. There are lots of places to live. Wherever we are together is home.” She paused for a moment. “As long as it is not a ship at sea. I do want something solid under me if I’m to have a child. I’ve never had a child, but I know enough by observation to know I want to be on land.”

Moving to her side as she sat on the side of the bed, Adam wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her and whispered to her. “I’ve never loved you more than at this moment.”

Later, as she rested in his embrace, she smiled as she looked at him. His eyes were closed, and he seemed as content as she felt. “You keep doing that, and there could be a baby sooner rather than later.”

He murmured to her. “It’s all right. We have a plan.” Then he fell asleep.

For almost six months, they made their home in San Francisco, as Adam carried out Ponderosa business and managed the family investment portfolio, which did much better under his direct supervision. When his father and brothers visited after the spring cattle drive, he took them through what he had done. His father liked the returns but doubted that they should take the portfolio away from the professionals.

“Professionals? Pa, they don’t know as much about mining, timber, railroads, and ranching as we do. They go strictly by numbers, and they’re always behind chasing an investment that has already increased, and is probably near its maximum benefit to us. We can anticipate and buy before the item increases so much and then sell when it gets to its highest.”

Determined to stick with the status quo, Ben had another objection.

“How could we possibly know an investment has reached its top level? There’s no crystal ball magic in investing.”

“It’s like ole Adam says, Pa. We sell when it gets high, and don’t worry about letting it get to the very highest profit point, cause that’s kinda like gambling. We would have to guess what it would be cause no one could know it. The value could come tumbling down in between, and then we got nothing.”

“I agree with Hoss and Adam, Pa. It takes a lot of the risk out of it, and it increases our profits a lot. The proof is in what he’s done with it in only six months. You wanted money to make improvements, and now we have it.”

There was more discussion over dinner until they settled the matter, but the family agreed to try Adam’s style of investing. As the dessert was being served, Adam cleared his throat for another announcement.

“Now that we have the system in place and it’s working well, Maude and I want to take a trip. We’ll be gone for an extended time, but Joe and Hoss can handle the investments. They know what to do. Everything else has been going well so I think you can do without me for a while.”

Joe and Hoss had been expecting this, but Ben had thought somehow that getting his eldest son so involved in the business end in San Francisco might derail his plans to travel further. He was upset that his plans had not worked.

“Why isn’t this enough? You have a wonderful home here with independence and a lot more say over what happens with our investments. You are on an equal basis with me in many ways.”

“This was never our plan. I did as you asked and set up things as you wanted them. It was a nice interlude, but it is not what we planned.”

Frustrated, Ben had nothing left to say. He couldn’t tell Adam and Maude how to live their lives no matter how much he wanted to do that. He knew he had to agree. He grudgingly did. Joe suggested a toast to their future, and he joined in but couldn’t help the sadness in his heart. This might be the last time the family was together. To him, it didn’t feel like a celebration. It was more like a funeral.

“Where will you go first?”

“Maude wants to see Hawaii. She heard things from whalers years ago and wants to see if those stories are true. Whaling is mostly done there now, but the things she heard about should still be there if true. There is a lot of development, so I should be able to find work, and we can live there without tapping our reserve funds.”

“I thought you wanted to go to England.”

“Eventually, we hope to go there too.”

“You’re talking about years of travelling then.”

“Yes, we are. But Hoss made me promise to come back someday, so we’re going to do our best to keep that promise too.”

“When will you leave?”

“As soon as we can book passage and pack. Ships are heading there within a week. If we find a suitable one, it could be that soon.”

There was time then for an orderly transfer of the investment portfolio with introductions of Joe and Hoss to some of the men with whom Adam had been dealing. There was time to have a few lunches and dinners to savor those last days together. Then, Ben and his younger sons stood on the wharf one day to wave goodbye to Adam and Maude as they sailed away. All three silently prayed for safe travels and that promised return. Ben, though, was haunted by the words that Adam had said that he would do his best to return. More than most men, he knew how difficult it could be to return home after travels.

On the deck of the ship, Adam and Maude felt free. Adam had his arm around his wife, and she leaned into his side. It was the two of them now making their own decisions with no one else to push them one way or another. They were going to find out that there were other ways to be pushed, but for a short time at least, they felt real freedom. The trip to Hawaii was unremarkable, but the vision of the islands when they first saw them was almost magical. Sailing into Pearl Harbor was amazing. It was a beautiful natural harbor that Adam appreciated immediately, explaining to Maude why it was such a gem.

When they disembarked, their first task was to look for housing, which turned out to be easier to find than they thought it would be. There were many jobs available, and most came with housing. When Adam accepted a position, they had a home too. As soon as Adam had mentioned his job skills included designing and building, he had job offers, so they felt valued and that they had made a good decision on the first leg of their travels.

Over the next months, Adam was busy building homes and storage buildings, but he was well rewarded for his work and got a lot of praise. He hoped eventually to design homes and other buildings, but at least at the start, he made a name for himself by building according to plans and doing it well. He was efficient and skilled. Businessmen noticed and he got more and more work to do. By early April, he had his first offer to design a home. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell Maude. They had been in Hawaii less than a year, and he felt he was already getting closer to achieving some of his dreams.

To Adam Cartwright, it was a splendid spring morning, and it seemed as if nothing could go wrong. He was going to be a father. Maude had shared that news only a week earlier. He had been ecstatic but worried too.

“Adam, I’m a strong woman. Don’t you ruin this for us by getting all melancholy about it.”

Chagrined, he had given in as he always did when she gave him good advice although he would admit to anyone that he didn’t always give in as quickly as he should. This time he did.

“You’re right. It is a time for celebration.” So they had.

As he walked that morning, he almost felt like skipping. Soon, he would embark on a career as an architect, even if it meant continuing to build houses for wealthy planters and not great edifices. It was a start at leaving a permanent mark on the world. Those same men had also allowed him to invest in a large sugar plantation. When he earned more money from his architectural and building work, he planned to invest more to eventually own a plantation outright and put his name on it. Envisioning a life as a wealthy planter and architect, he walked to the small home he and Maude had rented with a light step and his head held high, unaware that a terrible storm was brewing.

“Maude, I’m home. I have great news.”

“So do I. I’ve been checking maps and ship departures. If we leave within a week, we can be around the tip of South America and in Argentina or Brazil before the baby is even close to being born. If all went very well, we could perhaps even get to Spain.”

Shocked, Adam stood very still and probably stopped breathing for a moment. Maude had expressed some reservations about staying in Hawaii, but this move was extreme. He had no idea what had happened.

“Wait. I know you don’t like some of the things that happen here, but it’s a wonderful place to live. I have meaningful opportunities here. What happened to make you want to run away from everything we have here?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you for months. We don’t have anything here. Businessmen seduced you with promises because they wanted to benefit from your talents. Your dreams have been used to manipulate you. I am shunned because I help the missionaries. I do what I thought was in our hearts, but now you are your father’s son and not the man I married. You seem to be seeking wealth and status. I don’t know what happened to the man I married who had ideals and dreams of making the world a better place to live. You ignore all the terrible things that are happening here.”

She knew the words pierced his heart. Yet, she had tried for months to gently introduce her ideas and failed to penetrate the drive he had to build something here. He was a strong and stubborn man. She had to assert the same strength to reach him. She hoped it wouldn’t damage their relationship too much.

“Today, I got word that the housekeeper we employed last year died on Molokai. She never even made it to the mission. They dropped her in the surf to let her make her own way to shore. She was too weak. She swallowed water and died from pneumonia. Can you in good conscience live in such a place and work with men who would do such a thing or tolerate it?”

When he turned silently and left the house, she dropped into a chair, afraid she might have failed. He was so proud. She prayed he needed time to think or brood and would draw the conclusions that she was sure were correct. He had written letters to his family about his plans here. It would be difficult to tell them he was letting them go to chase after other unknown prospects when these were concrete and within reach. Pride and love would battle for his future.

When Adam came back, he was quiet. He walked into their bedroom and began to pack. When Maude came into the room, he handed her the vouchers for the passage he had booked. She took them as tears blurred her vision.

“I know it’s not going to be easy.”

“Hoss told me I married the woman who would be my conscience.”

Quietly, she helped pack their belongings. Maude thought about all the things she wanted to say. She knew that sometimes she talked too much, said too much. With Adam, it was better to think about things first and narrow her thoughts down to the important ones. It was something Hoss had advised her about during the short time she had lived on the Ponderosa, and sometimes found Adam so hard to reach.

“Maude, see, Adam is always thinking. He works that mind of his up so much, he don’t need too much else to stir it up. I always find it best if I kinda work my thoughts into what’s most important before I talk with him. It gets through to him better that way. You throw too much at him, and it just gets all mixed up with all them other things he’s thinking about. Anyway, that’s how I see it.”

“Hoss, you probably have that right. He does brood on things so much. I’ve told him that he should let things go, but he seems to want to hang onto things and work it out even if there isn’t a way to work it out.”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean. So, if you want to get him to pay attention, you have to give him something real important so it gets past that other stuff. Otherwise, sometimes all you get is a smart mouth kind of answer or he don’t pay no never mind to it at all.”

Maude smiled recalling that conversation. Adam noticed.

“Why are you smiling? It doesn’t seem like the kind of occasion deserving a smile.”

“It isn’t. I was remembering a conversation I had with Hoss. You brought him up and reminded me of how wise he could be.”

“What kind of conversation?”

“That you probably don’t want to know.”

“So you were talking about me.”

“You are sometimes too damn smart.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“Are you going to tell me what the point of the memory was?”

“Oh, no, but I do have something to say, and I want to say it right. I don’t think I’m your conscience. I think sometimes you’re a little bit like Joe, and I have to remind you that you have a conscience and a logical mind and need to use both.”

Turning away from her, Adam packed furiously for five minutes. Then, with a sigh, he stopped. Moving to her, he wrapped his arms around her.

“You are right, but I have to tell you that starting any sentence comparing me to Joe is going to get my back up.”

“Why? You two have a lot in common.”

“Oh, no, please don’t go there.”

“Maybe not now, but I think we may have a subject to discuss on this voyage.”

Scrunching up his face, Adam let her know he knew she would do that too, and that he wasn’t happy with the idea. She laughed. They finished packing. The ship was scheduled to leave in two days. It was the biggest one in port, and considering the time of year and where they were going, Adam had opted for the biggest vessel. He had time to withdraw money from the bank and inform associates he was leaving. Some were quite unhappy with him because of the short notice. He did not plan to return, so there was no reason to be concerned about the negative reactions. Others wished him well and thanked him for the work he had done in the time he had been there. This time, there was no one on the wharf to wave goodbye when they left. Adam did post a letter to his family to let them know they were leaving Hawaii and the name of the ship on which they were traveling. There wasn’t time to say much of anything else, and frankly, their plans weren’t solid enough yet to divulge.

The first part of the voyage was routine. They made a stop for fresh water and some fresh food. One day later, they ran into trouble. Storms with monstrous waves came up from behind, overtaking them. The captain wanted to turn back to where they had stopped for provisions, but the wind and waves made that maneuver too dangerous. They had to keep tacking with the wind and waves or risk being swamped. In their cabin, Maude and Adam wrapped in blankets and held onto each other to avoid being thrown across the small space with each roll of the ship. They knew it was bad. For two days, the ship was battered. When the storms subsided, Adam and Maude cautiously opened the door to their cabin to find the ship had suffered catastrophic damage. The main mast was broken halfway up and hanging. The captain had the crew doing their best to remove the sails and top section before anything worse happened. Adam volunteered to help the crew, and he sent Maude back to their cabin when his offer was accepted.

“We lost crew overboard and by injury during the storm. We thank you for the help.”

The captain was using some scrap wood for a crutch. His right leg was bandaged, and blood stained his trousers. Several crew members were also sporting bandages of various kinds. They had fought a heroic battle to save the ship, but now they were adrift and probably far from the regular shipping lanes. Their situation was dire. They had half the main mast and sails. They were taking on water and had to start dumping cargo to make the ship lighter. Men were working the pumps nonstop. If there were more bad weather, the ship would not last. After two days, they saw another ship on the horizon. Unfortunately, it was a smaller ship and also damaged by the storm and off-course. Their captain was blunt.

“We can maybe take twenty or twenty-five of your people, but you can see the damage my ship has taken. We can’t risk any more than that. If we dump damaged cargo and my crew sleeps on deck, we can squeeze that many on board.”

“I’ve got seventy on board. How can I tell them that only twenty-five can live?”

“Captain, put seventy more on board my small ship, and we’ll likely flounder in the first heavy seas we get. It won’t even have to be a storm. How can I tell my people I will risk all their lives?”

“I’m sorry. I understand. It’s hard.”

“You’ve still got a longboat. Maybe some of the men would be willing to be towed in that.”

“You would cut it loose in heavy seas or a storm?”

The other captain didn’t say anything. Everyone knew the answer anyway. Women, children, and youth were transferred to the other ship. That was twenty-two. Men who were willing especially if related to those transfers were given a spot in the longboat. That was sixteen more. Maude was on the other ship. Adam was in the longboat. When the small ship pulled away with the longboat bobbing behind, no one knew if any of them would survive. The captains had been impressed with how stoic most of the people had been about what had to be done. The storms had made all of them face the prospect of their deaths, and now they were doing what was necessary to see if they could snatch survival out of the jaws of death. The captain turned to the crew of the doomed ship.

“All right, the ship is a lot lighter now, and the supply of food will last longer. Let’s see if we can make the coast of South America. It’s the only chance we have.”

“Captain, the other ship is heading away.”

“Yeah, that captain thinks we got blown closer to Australia and is going to try to make it there. He thinks he’s less likely to run into storms going that way.”

 

Chapter 5 – A New Home

-on the Ponderosa:

With all the delays of travel by sea, the letter from Adam and the news of what happened arrived one after another. Even as Ben’s melancholy deepened a bit when he read Adam’s letter, which explained that he and Maude would not be settling in Hawaii but would be traveling on with their destination still undetermined, more worry weighed on Ben’s mind. He knew the dangers of sailing around Cape Horn. He wondered at Adam’s decision not to cross at Nicaragua or Panama. However, Adam had hinted that he had more news he would share soon. Ben smiled. It had to be.

“Pa, why you smiling?”

“Hoss, I’m rereading Adam’s letter. If they didn’t take the land crossing, there has to be a reason, and he says he has more news to share soon.”

Then Hoss smiled too, jumping to the same conclusion his father had.

“What’s funny about that?”

Little Joe didn’t see the connection that his father and brother had seen.

“Adam don’t want Maude to risk a land crossing. This is Maude who done run a trading post in the mountains for years. What would make him think she couldn’t hike across a bit of land?”

Staring at Hoss for only seconds, Little Joe grinned.

“Really? But why would they get on a ship and travel if she’s going to have a baby?”

That sobered up his father and older brother.

“That has us concerned. Did he hint at anything in his letters to you two?”

“Nah, not in mine.”

“Mine neither.”

“At least he has booked passage on a fast ship. The Race Horse set a record in the first Clipper Race, going from New York to San Francisco in 109 days. That crew knows what they’re doing. It’s a dangerous passage around the Horn.”

Getting very serious, Hoss and Joe asked how bad it was.

“It’s one of the worst there is. The westerly winds are ferocious, and the storms can be bitterly cold. You can think it’s going to be fine with sunny weather and blue skies, and a horrible storm can blow in within an hour. We need to pray for their safe passage. I know ships make that passage all the time, but I still worry. I have even more reason to worry now.”

Two days later, the newspaper arrived with news about storms in the southern Pacific and the ships that were missing. The Race Horse was on the list.

“Pa, maybe they got to a port and need to stay there for repairs.”

“Joe, there are no ports there.”

“Pa, it’s Adam. If there’s a way to survive, he would have found it.”

“Hoss, the ocean is unforgiving and mighty.”

Ben’s melancholy was deep. His sons’ sorrow was profound. A few days later, Joe brought his letter from Adam to breakfast.

“I think we all need to take this to heart. ‘Remember me with smiles and laughter for that is how I will remember you.’ Those are his words.”

 

-in the Pacific:

Several men in the longboat died from injuries sustained during the storm. Others died of exposure with low rations of fresh water and food. The only thing that could be done was to gather their few personal possessions and tie them in their shirt before the body was given to the sea. They tried to do this when it was dark so that no one on the ship would witness what happened. Sharks began to trail the ship because of the disposal of the bodies. Ben had told Adam stories of the sea, and one thing he remembered was that sharks meant you were getting closer to land. He told the others, but after a few days with no land sighted, they doubted his story. However, one morning, as the mists cleared and the sun rose, they saw a bold headland in the distance. As they got closer, one man suggested they should jump in the water and swim to that shore. Adam had some cautions about that plan.

“Not a good idea. It’s further away than you might think, and have you forgotten the sharks?”

So close to land, it seemed to take forever, but by the end of the day, they were on dry land. Sydney Harbor was their refuge. The authorities were there to document what had happened and get the names and all the other official business done. The women, youth, and children were taken immediately to homes willing to offer help and shelter. The men from the longboat were treated with a bit of suspicion and were questioned. Sixteen men had gotten into the longboat, but only ten remained. There were questions about what happened to the other six. When the stories were told and were consistent, and the possessions of each of the deceased were produced, the authorities were satisfied that nothing illegal had transpired. However, families were not as willing to welcome these men into their homes. The authorities offered the jail as accommodation. Adam and the others accepted. They were able to wash, eat, and sleep on a cot. They had no other option. In the morning, they all asked when they could reunite with their families. Adam didn’t like the answer.

“We want to get you jobs so you can get some money and a place for your families to live. You can’t expect to live on charity here. The sooner you find employment and get some money, the sooner you can be reunited with your family. We’ve got some employers ready to talk with you at the general store near the first quay. You can expect to work today, although they know you are weak from your ordeal and won’t be up to full labor for a bit.”

“You’re holding our families hostage?”

“That is insulting. We are asking you to do honest labor and take care of your family first. That should not be too much to ask, as we have already offered you food and shelter for a night.”

“My wife is going to have a baby. I want to see her to see how she is doing.”

“I have already explained how that is going to happen. If you wish to be disorderly, that could be delayed.”

Angry at those words, but frustrated because he had no means to fight back, Adam was silent. He was committed to finding justice, and this man was going to face it from him eventually. He was sure of that. For a day, he had no choice. He was going to have to work and wait.

“What can you do?”

“I have experience with mining, horses and cattle, construction, architecture, drawing, and record keeping.”

The man interviewing the ten men from the longboat looked up in surprise.

“You are educated?”

“I went to college.”

“I have a job for you right here if you’re telling the truth. Go inside and take a left into the office. The young man there can give you all the receipts and orders and the ledger. Your job will be to enter all of them and get them to balance, if you can. I never can, but miracles do happen, or so I have heard.”

Considering that Adam had a difficult time even walking when he climbed from the longboat, the idea of being able to sit at a desk and work was not as distasteful as it might have been in other circumstances. He accepted the task and walked inside as instructed. He found the ledger to be as big a mess as he expected based on what had been said, but within a few hours, he had cleared up some of the mess. He organized the orders and receipts by date and began entering them in what seemed to be the pattern or what was supposed to be the pattern of the ledger. Engrossed in the work, he didn’t notice the time pass and was surprised when his employer dropped a plate of food and a glass of water at his desk.

“We eat while we’re working here.”

Though the words seemed harsh, they were said with a smile. The man could see that Adam was making progress even if his ledger wasn’t going to be finished that day. He had not expected it to be. However, it seemed that he was getting his miracle. If it worked out as well as it appeared, he was prepared to offer employment to the American. He had another idea in mind as well but waited until the end of the day to make the offer. He returned to the office to find stacks of receipts and orders still on the desk.

“Didn’t finish it?”

“No, it was too much to do in a day. There were months of those here. It took quite a bit of time to get them organized before I could even begin entries.”

“You don’t need to make excuses.”

Bristling at the implied criticism, Adam wanted to let the man know exactly what he thought of his record-keeping, but he needed to keep this job so he could see Maude. It was difficult, but he remained silent. He didn’t see the slight smile the man had and how he was amused at Adam’s reaction.

“You’re a tough one. I have an offer for you. I have a small apartment upstairs. It is empty now because it has access to the store, and I have to be able to trust whoever lives up there. I don’t know you at all, but I have good common sense. I believe I can trust you. If you agree to work for me, you can live up there with your wife. You will help guard my store when it is closed, and you will take charge of the record-keeping and wait on customers as needed.”

“Wages?”

Shaking his head, the man had to let his smile show.

“Standard day laborer rate to start.”

“All right. I accept. When can I see my wife and move here?”

“She’s on her way. She’s as tough as you and demanded to see you. I’ll advance enough salary for you to buy some bedding and food from my store.”

“At a discount?”

The man laughed out loud then.

“If I had a son, I wish he would be like you. We’ll work it out. Now, my name is Rupert Davis. I know you’re Adam, but what is your surname?”

“I’m Adam Cartwright.”

“Now that sounds like a good English name. So, you go ahead and finish as much as you can before your wife gets here. You need to earn your keep.”

At six, Maude came into the office. Adam moved to her and wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m so sorry for making such a mess of things.”

Looking at Adam in shock at first, Maude got irritated.

“How the hell is this your fault? It was my idea to leave Hawaii. The storm wrecked the ship. It was the captain’s idea to separate us with me on the ship, and you in that damn longboat while I worried day and night if you would live. Then we get here, and they treat you like a criminal for having survived, and keep me hostage while calling it charity. I’m darned irritated, but not at you. Not everything is your fault.”

“You are amazing.”

“Better than that. I still have the money you gave me to hold when I went over to that ship. We have some resources they don’t know about yet. I thought it best to keep that secret.”

“My employer is advancing my salary to buy bedding and food from the store here. We can live in the apartment upstairs.”

“We’ve landed on our feet again. It’s going to be all right. It’s not Brazil or Spain, but it’s solid land, and we have a chance to build a future again.”

Adam staggered a little.

“Hey, sit down. I think you probably haven’t recovered completely yet.”

“Tomorrow is Sunday. Hopefully, it’s a day off here, and we can rest. I need to write a letter to my family to let them know what happened to us. I’ll send it out as soon as I can.”

Sunday was a day off from work, but cleaning up the apartment and making it a livable space took all day. Adam wrote a letter to his father that he knew his brothers would read too. In the afternoon, he headed to the nearest quay to find a ship headed to California. He paid the captain of that ship, the Herald of the Seas, to deliver his letter. Over the next few weeks, Adam plastered the inside walls, painted, and went up and patched the roof. All of that was done outside of the hours he worked in the store, taking care of the ledgers and other records as well as waiting on customers as needed. As he got the ledgers cleaned up, they took less of his time, and he spent more time organizing the store inventory and meeting with customers to find out what they wanted. He adjusted the store orders based on those requests. Sales increased.

Maude wanted to help her husband, but in the last month of her pregnancy, she found that being on her feet was exhausting. Preparing meals and keeping the apartment tidy were about all the work she could manage. Adam got her a rocking chair with a small ottoman so she could put up her feet.

“Now what do I do?”

“Can you sew?”

“Of course I can sew. What kind of question is that?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you do much except hem curtains so I wasn’t sure. I could use some shirts, and we’re going to need baby clothing. If you could make some, it would certainly help our budget.”

“You get me the cloth, and I will make as much as we need.”

Maude was happy making clothing. It made her feel valued and useful. Adam still needed more deals to provide for his family. He made an offer to a woodworker down the street from the shop. He would make a cradle for his child and an identical one for the man to sell in his shop. They shook hands on it, and for a few days, Adam spent every spare moment he had working there to finish the cradle.

All was going well of so Maude thought until Adam came home one day dropping a newspaper on the table and sighing deeply without saying anything. She wondered what could have gone wrong.

“We may never board a ship again.”

“Why? What happened?”

“The Herald of the Seas is listed as missing. It is presumed lost at sea. My family never got the letter I sent. They still must think we’re lost at sea as well. Race Horse never made it to a safe port so it’s listed as missing and presumed lost at sea.”

“We’ll have to send another letter. Maybe we should send a couple so that hopefully one will arrive.”

“It’s always good to have a plan, and I like that one.”

By the way Maude looked, Adam suspected the baby was getting close to arriving. The news in their letters was going to make his father smile. He could only imagine his brothers’ reactions. That is, they would be when they finally got his letters. He sat at the desk and began composing new letters. Maude watched him and made an observation.

“You don’t seem as worried about the baby or me as you did when I first told you I was with child. I don’t know what changed, but I like it.”

“It’s not so much that something changed as that I remembered some advice I got quite a long time ago. I remembered while I was talking with our landlord and employer. Rupert talked about how life is so much better when you focus on what you have and not on what you’ve lost. I had a conversation with my little brother many years ago in which he gave me some good advice like that. I thought at the time that I was helping him, and I guess I did if only to get him to slow down and think about what he was doing. But what he said to me was more important than what I said to him.”

“Knowing Joe, I am intrigued. What did he teach you?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. He’s quite smart. He fails to use that intelligence often enough that people fail to realize it’s there. They underestimate him as much as they underestimate Hoss because of his looks.”

“Oh, I know how wise Hoss is, but I guess I didn’t get to know Joe well enough in the time I was on the Ponderosa to realize he was smart.”

“He hides it well behind all the impulsive behavior and the scheming and other foolishness.”

“And the cheating at checkers. You all know he does it so why do you tolerate it?”

“Do you know how satisfying it is to beat him even when he cheats?”

“It’s all an elaborate game you all are playing?”

“I guess you could call it that.”

“Now, get back to the original wisdom he taught you. What is that story?”

“Oh, that. Joe was barely old enough to be in a saloon on his own and playing poker. Pa didn’t approve but couldn’t forbid it. Joe didn’t know enough to be doing what he was doing. He got in a game with a card shark who cheated. When he figured it out, he objected. The man tossed the table and Joe onto the floor, disarmed him, took his money, and sent him on his way calling him a boy. There was nothing Joe could do but ride home broke, humiliated, and furious. He went to get another pistol to go back to kill the man. I stopped him. The conversation was pointed.”

“Because you have the right to do it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.”

“That’s stupid. Of course it is. He was wrong. I’m going to make it right.”

“You sure this is the only way to make it right?”

“According to the Bible, it is. It’s an eye for an eye.”

“Maybe you need to read more. How about turning the other cheek? How about forgiveness?”

“Pa makes a helluva better preacher than you.”

“I know, but he’s not here. I can only speak from experience. I hope you can benefit from my failures. When I was young, I acted like you want to act. I’ll never be able to forget what I did. That memory haunts my nights all too often even now.”

Joe paused. He heard the pain in his brother’s voice.

“What happened?”

“She was everything I thought I wanted. I know now it would never have worked. She liked my money, my family wealth and status, more than she liked me. She got involved with someone else who gave her nice gifts to spend time with her. The gossip finally reached me.”

“You were embarrassed.”

“And mad. They had made a fool of me. That’s what I thought. What she had done was show what she was. I should have walked away, but instead I went after him.”

“You had a right to go after him. He knew he shouldn’t have done it. He was wrong.”

And then Joe knew, but he waited to let Adam tell his story.

“He was a gambler with a lot of experience with women and would never have married her. He was having fun with her. He used her. I should have walked away from the whole mess. Instead, I challenged him. He probably figured a young cowboy was no threat. I shot him. The bullet took him in the throat. I walked to him as the blood spurted out. Then he died. It was gruesome

“You know what. You’re right. It isn’t worth it to kill that cheating gambler. I’m going to the sheriff and file a complaint. But you’re wrong too. That guy wanted to kill you. He walked out there with that intent. Yeah, you challenged him, but he could have said no. He could have talked his way out of it, and you know that. He wanted that fight. As for feeling bad about it all these years later, older brother, you think too much. You have to learn to let things go. Think it through, and then, put it in your past and be done with it.”

“I guess one’s destination is never a place but a new way of seeing things: a different way to travel.”

Maude had listened quietly.

“That was it?”

“Yeah. He did what he said he was going to do. Roy ran the gambler out of town and got Joe’s pistol back as well as some of the money.”

“That is good advice. He is smart. Can you take that advice?”

“I have about you and the baby. As for other things, I try.”

 

on the Ponderosa:

It was highly unusual for Hoss Cartwright to push his horse to ride hard for home, but the letter was the kind of news that made it a necessity in his mind. When he rode into the yard at home, he handed off his horse to the first man he saw and promised payment for taking care of him as he ran for the house.

“Pa, Pa, I got a letter from Adam. Pa, I recognize the handwriting. It is from Adam! I told you if there was a way to survive, he would find it. Here’s the proof.”

Ben was shaking and had to sit down in his red leather chair. He had thought his son was gone and had gradually become resigned to the idea. When the Race Horse was listed as missing and no news had come about survivors, he had been forced to accept the worst. Now Hoss yelled that it wasn’t true. As Hoss put the envelope in his hands, he had to agree. There was no mistaking the writing on the envelope was that of his son. It was too perfect to be from anyone else. Hoss or Joe would have torn the envelope open. He cautiously opened it careful not to damage anything he might find inside. He began to read and quickly switched to reading it all out loud. When he finished, he was silent, thanking the Almighty for the safety of his son and his wife as well as the impending birth of their child.

“Their child must have been born by now. Adam said within two weeks, and this letter is dated eight weeks ago. I’m a grandfather now.”

Joe had only one regret. “I wish we had known sooner. I bet a lot of families wish they had known sooner.”

“Yes, he explained that he and the other survivors sent their letters on the one ship in the harbor that was headed to California, thinking that way their families would know most quickly. It was a tragedy to have that ship lost at sea as said we will likely get more letters because he sent two more on other ships this time to try to guarantee that we would get at least one.” Pausing for a moment, Ben made an announcement. “We’ll tell everyone in church tomorrow. I bet they will be very surprised.”

Hoss looked a bit sheepish at that.

“Ah, maybe not so much. When I saw that letter, I think I might have yelled that it was a letter from Adam. Then I ran outside and jumped on Chubb and raced out of town, headed for home.”

Ben and Joe smiled, but Joe also had a question.

“Was Roy anywhere near you when that happened?”

“Yeah, we was walking together and talking when I said I needed to stop by the store to pick up our mail.”

“Well, then, everybody knows by now, and Pa won’t need to announce anything.”

They all got a good laugh about that. Hop Sing fixed a special dinner that night for a celebration, and Ben sent a bottle of brandy to the bunkhouse with the news. Not all the men there had known Adam, but all knew how happy the family was that he was alive.

 

in Australia:

A few weeks after sending the letters to America, Adam brought the finished cradle into the apartment, and Maude began to cry. Adam wrapped his arms around her.

What’s wrong?

“I think the baby is coming, and I was afraid you wouldn’t be here.”

“After all you have survived, including a shipwreck, why is this so frightening to you?”

“It’s not only me. It’s another life. It’s the first time I’m responsible for another life. It is a frightening idea, and now it will be for years and years too. I’ve been thinking about that.”

Then more pains hit, and that set off a flurry of activity. In only a few weeks, the couple had gotten to know many people. A midwife had been recommended and was now summoned. Neighbors gathered for the occasion, with the women assisting and the men smoking cigars and waiting with Adam. When the baby’s cry came twelve hours later, they were all exhausted.

When everything was cleaned up, Adam was allowed to visit his wife and new daughter.

“Meet your daughter, Emma Junia.”

Maude had picked the names, and Adam accepted them, but it was only a few days later that he started calling his daughter Junebug. It stuck, and soon everyone knew her as June or Junebug. Most people never knew her given name as she grew older. About six months later, Maude had news for Adam.

“All that time I worried I might be with child and nothing happened.”

Catching on quickly, Adam had to grin. No longer haunted by the idea that childbirth would claim his wife, he was excited.

“We’re going to have a second child?”

Robert was born six months after that. With two so close together, the couple expected there would be more, but there never were. As much of a challenge as June was, eventually they decided, perhaps God was merciful in that regard.

They had used the money that Maude had safeguarded to make some investments, as the couple learned about the good options available in their new home. Adam did woodworking to make extra money, which eventually led to some construction work that brought in even more money. The couple kept investing any extra money they had, and they used Adam’s wages from the store for living expenses. In less than two years, they had accumulated quite an investment portfolio and were ready to move into a house. That process took about six months, though, as Adam designed and then hired men to build the home on the property he purchased. His employer at the store had a question.

“Will you be leaving me to flounder about here now that you’ve gotten yourself into such a good position?”

“You were kind to me when I needed it most. If you are willing, I could continue to do your ledgers for you. It would only take an hour or so each day if the receipts and bills are placed into the correct boxes for me.”

“I must say that’s a relief. That ledger work leaves me stymied.”

“I think we need to find someone for me to train for you, then. I won’t always be available, and you need reliable help with that and with ordering.”

“My wife’s sister’s son seems good with numbers. He’s young, but with you showing him the way, I think he could do it. They live in Wollongong, so I haven’t seen him in a bit.”

“I’ve heard of that town. They’re building a proper harbor there now.”

“Ah, another chance to invest?”

“Or perhaps, it would be a chance to get some work in construction. It’s what I would like to do.”

“Please don’t go until you train the boy how to do my ledgers.”

Adam did train the youngster who arrived from Wollongong. But the more he heard from him about his town, the more he was interested in going there to learn about the harbor project that had started the year before.

 

Chapter 6 -Sound of the Sea

The Wollongong harbor project and the possibilities that existed because of it intrigued Adam. He couldn’t stop thinking about what he might be able to do if he was there working instead of in the more established Sydney.

“You want to go fifty miles away to look for work? Adam, is that a reasonable idea?”

“Let me go and find out the possibilities. Then, we can discuss if they’re reasonable.”

Maude was reluctant. They were finally settled in a real home. Adam had steady work, but she knew his curiosity had to be satisfied. He was practical enough to know that a commute of that distance with no rail service was going to be impossible.

By the time Adam returned, he was ready to pitch some proposals to Maude. He laid out all the possibilities he had found for work he could do, and it was far more than he had in the Sydney area.

“The area is growing and will grow more when the harbor is completed and opens for business, and the need for housing of all kinds, as well as warehousing, is enormous. They have a block-walled harbor and a timber wharf that was added later, but they’re adding room for fifteen ships. They will be able to handle thirty ships in a week.”

“But there is no rail service. You would be gone for such long periods because you cannot commute.”

When Adam was quiet in response and looked at her with such a hopeful expression, Maude got a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“No. We haven’t been in this house for more than a couple of months. We only got a response from your father recently that they know we’re alive and know where we live. What if they come looking for us?”

It was hopeless, and she knew it. They were moving. Quiet the rest of the day, she began packing the kitchen items she didn’t immediately need. Adam saw what she was doing, and he put his arms around her.

“I think you’re going to like Wollongong. I already found a good spot for a house. It will have a spectacular view. It will be close enough to where I’m working that you and the children can come visit sometimes too.”

“Can we put a fence around our property there?”

“For protection? I don’t think that will be necessary.”

“No, to corral June. I swear that girl finds more ways to get into trouble than I thought any child could.”

“She reminds me of my youngest brother.”

“Joe was like that?”

“Yes, and it got worse as he got older. We can pray that June grows out of it instead of getting worse. She doesn’t have two older brothers to watch over her and protect her.”

“Yes, and who will protect others from her?”

“She’s not that bad, is she?”

“She is impulsive. She’s smart enough, but she never uses her smarts before acting.”

That sounded all too familiar. He knew Maude wouldn’t like his suggestion, but he thought it was a necessity.

“We’re going to have to hire someone so she can have more constant supervision. No one person will be able to keep up with her.”

Maude’s first inclination was to object to that, but if she was like Joe, then perhaps he was correct.

“So, we need our version of Hop Sing?”

“Yeah, something like that. We’ll see what we can do when we get to Wollongong.”

Selling their house was easier than it was for most people. Adam had put in some unique features, such as a movable wall that allowed the dining room to be expanded and pocket doors that saved space. Several of the rising entrepreneurs in the city wanted the house and bid up the price.

The additional money was helpful in the move and in getting all the materials they needed to build a new house in Wollongong. Adam named their property Sound of the Sea. The house that he built there was larger than the one he had built in Sydney, but part of it had to be left unfinished at first until he had enough time to do the work. He put a workshop on the property, and one evening as he worked there, he heard noise outside. Dousing the lantern, he waited until he could hear what had first alerted him to potential trespassers. There were two. Carefully, he watched from the window of the workshop until he saw them. They were curious, too curious for their own good. They came toward the workshop, wondering where he had gone. Waiting until they were just outside the door, he stepped out suddenly and startled them. With a pistol in his hand, he had them at his mercy.

“What are you doing here?”

They said nothing but stared at him in fear, expecting to be killed. Even in the moonlight, he saw the fear and lowered the pistol.

“Don’t run. Tell me why you’re here.”

Still afraid, but wondering if they could live by answering his question, they looked at each other, and one answered.

“It was our land. We wanted to see it before you changed it all.”

“Your land?”

“Yes, many years ago, our father’s father lived here, and we were born here. But then your people came, and we had to leave.”

“They bought the land from you?”

Something about this white man made him want to tell the truth.

“No, we had to leave or die.”

The look on Adam’s face let the two men know that he was not aware of what had gone on before his arrival. Various reactions played across his face until he pushed his pistol into the holster.

“What do you want?”

“Only what we said. We wanted to see this place before it was changed. We wanted a memory to keep.”

“I don’t plan to change much more. What would you do if you lived here?”

The question caused the two men to be confused. It seemed to be a strange question. They did not know how to answer. So that was what they finally said.

“We need people to work for us. What if you could live here, work for us, and do what you wished to do with the land? What is it that you would do?”

“We hunt. We find. We make sure we have water.”

Thoughtful for a few minutes, Adam had a proposition.

“What if I had a garden and a few animals, would you be willing to use those to gather and eat? You could sleep here in the workshop.”

“You would let us live on your land?”

“You said it was yours. We could share it. You would be safe working for me and staying on the land here. You know more about this land, and you would repay me by watching over and protecting my family.”

“We have family.”

“How many?”

The two men looked at each other. It seemed that they were communicating without speaking. Then one raised a hand with three fingers raised. It was much later that Adam learned that it was their immediate family. They had both realized they could not bring their extended family here, but the benefits could help the larger family, so it still worked out for them.

“Walk with me to the house. There are some people you need to meet.”

Surprise was too mild a word for what Maude felt when Adam brought the two men to the house. However, she adjusted quickly and saw the benefits in the plan Adam explained to her.

“So they will tend the gardens and the animals, and harvest and use what they need so there will be no waste. They will watch for any dangers and watch over the children and the property all for the right to live on it?”

“Yes, and we will pay them a wage too, but at this point, I don’t know what that will be. We will have to work that out.”

“What are wages?”

“We pay you money to work for us?”

“Not good for us. Blankets and clothes are better for us. Hunting is hard to do now. We have to use the same blankets and clothes you have.”

“We can do that.”

Maude went to a closet and pulled out some blankets and muslin sheets.

“If you’re going to sleep in the workshop, you’ll need these.”

“Sleep inside when the weather is bad. Sleep outside when it is nice.”

The next morning, June was introduced to the new residents and was fascinated by them. They enjoyed her curiosity and openness, and a bond was formed quickly. As Adam went to his job, Maude worked with the Aboriginal people to get a garden started. Over the next few weeks, animals were added, and more fence had to be installed. Adam hired a crew to come to his property to build a small barn. He had the Aboriginal people spend the day in the workshop doing small tasks and staying out of sight. They were delighted to find that he had included a pair of small rooms in the barn, one for each couple. There were cots in those rooms and a window for each one. They no longer had to sleep on the floor of the workshop.

Despite Adam’s attempts to keep news of his home staff a secret, the news got out. Comments were made about what he might do with the women who were on his property, especially if he got rid of the men. He was disgusted by those suggestions, but he couldn’t react too strongly to them. It seemed to be the prevailing sentiment among the general population. If he wanted to work and keep his family safe, he had to hold his opinions to himself. He did take one strong action, though he thought it was necessary. He took a shotgun and shells to the small barn and stored them there.

“If anyone ever comes here threatening you, you can use this for your defense. You don’t have to be a good aim. Point it at them, and that will probably be good enough. You probably won’t have to shoot. Most people are scared enough of having one of these pointed at them. If you shoot, then you will have to run. I won’t be able to protect you if you shoot a white man even if you don’t kill him.”

None of them said anything, but their looks said they understood. In the house, Maude wasn’t so sure she understood.

“You could have discussed this with me before you did it.”

“I don’t think they would have waited for the time it took for us to reach a consensus.”

“So, you decided without me.”

“I did.”

“If they ever take action against a white man, we’ll have to leave too.”

Adam’s silence was answer enough.

Confident that Maude would accept his decision, Adam waited her out. She harbored some doubts even for the next several years. She worried because of the children. There was no specific reason, but it seemed odd to her to have strangers living so close when they knew so little about them and their culture. It all evaporated with an incident that started as a potential disaster in more ways than one. One of the men brought June to the house with her hands and arms coated in mud. Much of the mud had gotten on her clothing, which was probably ruined as a result. The little girl was sobbing. Another man carried a smiling and clean Robert to the house.

“What happened?”

“Mama, they grabbed me and put mud all over my hands and arms and then brought me here.”

“What? Why?”

Crying and in broken sentences, June told her story.

“I don’t know. I was playing with Robert. I was going to show him a little bitty frog. Then it happened.”

None of the men could speak English well enough to explain what had happened, so they didn’t try. All they said was that they would tell Mister Adam later. After spending hours bathing and then comforting their daughter, Maude was in quite a mood when she confronted Adam when he returned home.

“They didn’t tell me why they covered her in mud. The mud has made her sick. She vomited.”

“How is she now?”

“Better. I gave her a cool bath, and I’ve been holding her and giving her cool water to drink. Robert has had to sit and play by himself and watch. I haven’t had any time to give to him. I haven’t had any time to prepare a meal.”

At a loss to understand what had happened, Adam went to talk to the men, and on his return to the house, he had a story to tell and some warnings for his daughter.

“She picked up a corroboree frog. It was a little one, but they’re poisonous. As small as she is, it would make her very sick, and if she had given it to Robert as she intended, he could have died. They coated her in mud to try to remove as much of the poison as possible before it was absorbed by her skin. She didn’t get sick because of the mud. She got sick because of poison from the frog.”

“Papa, it was tiny and really cute. It was black and yellow.”

“What is the rule, June?”

“I have to ask before I touch or pick up anything.”

“Did you ask?”

“I think I’m going to be sick again.”

“Good try at avoiding answering that question. We all know the answer. You will have to be punished for disobeying.”

Adam saw the look Maude had. She was having a difficult time thinking about punishing her daughter who was so sick because of her own action. She looked up at him.

“I know you’re right. It’s hard.”

“It’s hard for me too, but if we don’t, then she won’t learn. How would you be feeling now if she had managed to give that frog to Robert? The way he is, he might have put it in his mouth.”

“Oh, Lord, you’re right.”

“Maybe we need to get her more involved in activities in town rather than playing in the trees and such. I saw there’s a school teaching dance and music.”

There were more incidents in which June disobeyed rules and got in trouble, but none were life-threatening. Dance classes and piano lessons didn’t give her much opportunity for dangerous activities. When she was old enough to start school, her days were filled with activities that kept her out of more serious trouble. However, minor trouble became a specialty of hers, and her parents had to be more and more creative in finding appropriate punishments that would teach her to make better decisions. Progress was slow in getting June to curb her impulsive nature and control her impatience. She had inherited the Cartwright stubbornness, too, so that created another level of difficulty in getting her to learn.

Meanwhile, as Robert grew older, he was quiet and reserved. He liked to look at pictures in books and then learned words until he could do some basic reading by age four and a half. Stubborn like his sister, he was cautious and careful, so he rarely got into trouble.

Other parents would say that anyone would want more children like Robert. Adam or Maude or both of them would then remind them that they could get more like June. That made most people shiver a bit and stop pressuring Adam and Maude to have more children. June had that kind of reputation by age seven.

Both children were curious. They must have inherited that trait from their father and had an endless supply of questions.

“Why didn’t you take a bigger ship when you left Hawaii?”

“Why did you have June first instead of me?”

“How did you cook your food in that longboat?”

“Do most ships sink in storms?”

“If Hawaii was so pretty, why did you leave?”

“Can we visit the Ponderosa someday?”

“Tell us about Uncle Hoss.”

“Was Uncle Joe as bad as June?

“Tell us about Uncle Jamie.”

“I can’t tell you about Uncle Jamie. He came after I left. You know as much as I do because what we know is what’s in the letters.”

Scrunching up her face, June sat for a time deep in thought before she had the next questions.

“How could he come after you left. In the letters, Grandpapa said he was seventeen. You said you left eight years ago. He should be no more than eight if you don’t know him. Did you forget?”

“No, June, my father adopted him after I left.”

“What does it mean to adopt him?”

“He wasn’t a baby. His parents died. My father took him in and added him to the family.”

“Oh, like we brought that calf here to be with our milk cow when the neighbor’s milk cow died?”

“Yes, that calf was too young and needed to suckle, so we weaned our calf and put that calf in.”

“What about that foreman Candy?”

“He wasn’t there when I left.”

“Did your father adopt him?”

“No, he hired him. He works for my family.”

“Why does he have such a funny name? Does he carry sweets in his pockets?”

“Yes, Papa, you said Uncle Hoss likes sweet treats. Do you think that’s why they hired him? He has sweets, and Uncle Hoss wanted those.”

The children got Adam to draw a picture of a foreman with candy overflowing from his pockets, gumdrop buttons on his shirt, and a large peppermint stick poking out of his holster instead of a pistol. The children loved the picture, and the whole family laughed when they first saw it. June liked it so much, she asked if she could keep it and rolled it up so she could store it in her room.

“It’s like I have a little bit of the Ponderosa in my room now.”

Hearing comments like that, and with all the questions the children asked about the Ponderosa, Maude began dropping hints that it might be time to head back home. Adam ignored her hints. He was finding the work so fulfilling at that point that he saw no problems, but Maude was seeing a similar situation to what had happened in Hawaii. It came to a head with an argument they had.

“Do you get invited to any of the important meetings or parties to meet any of the dignitaries or major investors? Are you in any of the meetings where major decisions are made?”

“As an American, that isn’t open to me.”

“Exactly, and it likely never will be. They’re using you for what you can do for them. And what will they do when you can’t bring them bigger profits?”

“So what would you have me do?”

“Sell now while the market is hot, and there are many who would bid the price up for everything we own. Then we can leave here, and you don’t have to avoid conversations in which horrible comments are made about the Aboriginal people here and the terrible things that are done to them. It makes me feel dirty hearing those comments. How can you stand to hear them talk like that and get invited on those ‘hunting’ trips knowing they are planning to kill people not animals because in their minds there is no difference. What has happened to you?”

Knowing her logic was sound, Adam thought carefully about what it would mean. A sudden announcement that he had to return to America and that his properties were for sale would make some think they could get them for low prices, but others would bid them up trying to get them. If he waited until he was forced out, they would see it coming, and by then, the properties wouldn’t have the red-hot market prices they had now. The way the area was growing and with the shortage of housing and warehouse space, everything he owned could draw a premium price. To be honest, after being gone for nearly eight years, he was ready to at least have a visit to the Ponderosa. He was tired too of masking his moral outrage in order to keep making money. He knew he had fallen into the same trap that had gotten him in Hawaii.

Maude watched the transformation of his face as his thoughts whirled from stubborn objections to thoughtful consideration to willing acceptance. Then he smiled.

They worked out a plan. Adam began dropping hints at work that there were problems at home, and he was worried about his family. He talked about the possibility of selling the properties he had acquired and what kinds of prices he might get for them. Soon, a few banks contacted Adam wondering if he might require their services. He met with them to discuss transferring money to San Francisco banks and how that might be done. One bank had a branch there and was more than happy to discuss with him how he could move his money. Then the offers began to come in. They were low at first and he rejected them, but quickly, the numbers increased to better and bigger amounts even beyond what he and Maude had expected.

One thorny issue was what to do about their Aboriginal employees. They would not be safe staying on after Adam and Maude left. Adam told them what he planned to do. He asked what they needed, and they said very little. He did notice the shotgun disappeared from the small barn. He replaced it, and the replacement disappeared too. He then left boxes of shotshells in the barn which also disappeared. Maude left all the sharp steel knives from the kitchen as well as the large pots, spoons, and ladles out in the yard on benches as they packed in preparation for leaving. When it was clear those items were not being packed, they too disappeared. On the benches, the day before they left, were several well-decorated items: a club, a coolamon (bowl), and four boomerangs. Their guests were gone.

Booking passage on a large ship that engaged in trade along the way to San Francisco and sometimes beyond, Adam made sure they would not have the long trek across open ocean they had faced on their previous trip. There would be stops in Fiji, Samoa, and Hawaii on the way. The trip would take longer, but there would be ports where the ship could take refuge if necessary, get fresh supplies, and make repairs as necessary. Finally, with their wide-eyed children in tow, they boarded the ship and headed for home.

 

Chapter 7 -Back in America: eight years after leaving:

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. At least that was how Adam thought about it. There was something about the freshness of the air and the smell of new grass that made him think of softness and gentleness, and that always made him think of loving his wife. So it wasn’t much of a surprise that he nicknamed his daughter June and sometimes even called her Junebug. She was the result of the love he had for his wife and was the first of their children. Adam and Maude only had two children, but they always referred to them as the first and the second as if there were going to be more. After many years, it seemed unlikely there would be more, but if there were, they would be loved and nurtured as much as the first and the second.

June had recently turned seven, and Maude laid down the law. It was time she met the rest of her family. So they were headed to Virginia City and the Ponderosa.

Adam and Maude’s second one, Robert, was much like his parents. He enjoyed reading and was quiet and reflective. Watching people, observing nature, and absorbing information, he was able to converse about topics that most boys at six hardly knew about much less cared to discuss. He could be nonstop with questions, too, when he found someone knowledgeable who was willing to answer his queries. Other than the sometimes demanding conversation with him and answering his nonstop questions, Robert was easy to supervise.

June required much more effort. She liked to do everything, and she wanted both parents to indulge her in that. So Adam learned to do all sorts of things he never learned to do while helping to raise his brothers. He actually liked a few of them, such as painting with his fingers. Although he wasn’t entirely fond of dancing with his daughter, especially the pirouettes she enjoyed, he was quite good at it. He was considerably better at dancing and singing than Maude, so she always deferred to him when June had those requests. It got him into trouble on the train platform in his hometown.

The train got in early. Expecting a big ore shipment out, the line had pushed to get the train underway early. The Cartwrights on the Ponderosa had no way of knowing that so Adam told his family they would have to wait. Anything else they did would likely only add to more trouble. However, with the large wooden platform, Junebug wanted to dance. It started out rather tame, but then there were those pirouettes. Junebug had also carefully placed her toy tiara on her father’s thinning hair.

Drawn by rumors that the eldest Cartwright son was home, Adam’s antics were witnessed. It didn’t stop there, though. Whistles and catcalls, and then downright ugly insults followed his performance. Maude called the two children to her because she had some idea what was coming next.

“I don’t appreciate your uncouth comments in front of my children.”

Poking Adam in the chest with his forefinger and getting verbal support from the men around him, a beefy man in a slouch hat thought he could bully Adam.

“Then maybe you should hand them younguns and their mama over to a real man. Having a sissy for a father and a husband won’t do none of them no good.”

Grabbing the finger, Adam jerked down quickly. An audible snap preceded the scream of pain from the man. Cradling his hand, he croaked to his friends that they should get Adam.

“Is Papa going to hurt those men?”

“Only if they persist in their bad behavior.”

“I think they might.”

“Then they have chosen their fate.”

“What is fate again, Mama?”

The two men with the beefy man who had suffered the broken finger were slightly unnerved by Maude’s calm demeanor. However, they were still two against one and had a third if slightly handicapped third ally if necessary. They advanced on Adam, who waited calmly, preparing his plan. He noted how each man moved and what their likely mode of attack would be, and how best to counterattack. When it happened, it was fairly easy. They bull rushed him. He sidestepped and pushed one into the other, tumbling both into the wall of the depot. One hit his head rather hard and sat there dazed. The other got up angry and rubbed his shoulder.

“You don’t fight fair.”

“Oh, but two or three against one is fair?”

Maude said Adam’s name quietly as a warning when she saw what the beefy man was doing. Adam reacted quickly, putting a pistol to the man’s forehead before he had pulled his pistol from leather.

“Now, you can unbuckle that and drop it. Then pull the belt from your trousers too and drop that. You other two, do the same.”

All three objected but quieted when Adam pulled a second pistol from a shoulder holster and pointed that too. With pistol rigs and belts dropped, the men had to use at least one hand to hold up their trousers. Sheriff Clem Foster, alerted to trouble at the depot, came up on the platform.

“What in hell is going on here?”

Then he noticed that not much was going on. There was an imposing barrel-chested man with thinning gray hair and a matching neatly trimmed beard holding pistols on three of the worst trouble makers Clem had to deal with in town. A woman, presumably the man’s wife, sat calmly with two children at her side. As he got closer, the man turned toward him slightly. The twinkle in the eyes, the infectious grin, and the overall confidence of the man meant that Clem knew who it had to be.

“It’s been a long time. Does your family know you’re back?”

“Yes, but we arrived a couple of hours early, so they’re not here yet. I did expect they would be anxious enough to be early too, but not by two hours, and we were waiting patiently.”

“Until these three harassed you and your family?”

“Only me.”

“Sheriff, he was dancing like a girl.”

“I was playing with my daughter. They objected. My guess is that none of them is a father. There is some small comfort in knowing they are not reproducing.”

“What would you like me to do with them? I could charge them with disorderly conduct.”

“I suppose that would cost money, though, to keep them in jail as they don’t look like they could afford any fine.”

“I could keep them for part of a day. I don’t have to feed them unless I hold them for a full day. If I let them go this evening, there’s no cost.”

“That sounds like a fine plan, Sheriff.”

The beefy man objected.

“Hey, he broke my finger. He ought to be charged, too.”

“Olson, you don’t want to go there. Do you want everyone in town to know that the three of you attacked a man, and you ended up with a broken finger, but he’s fine? Wouldn’t it be better if the story is that you threatened him, and he pulled his pistols on you?”

Reluctantly, the three men agreed. Ben Cartwright and the rest of the family walked onto the platform at that time. Clem marched the three ruffians away after collecting the pistol rigs and belts. He nodded to Ben and couldn’t help smiling a bit, wondering how Ben was going to react. He was sorry he couldn’t stay to watch the reunion.

“Son, you do have a way of making a dramatic entrance.”

“Pa, it escalated out of control rather quickly. I suppose the three might have been drinking, but they said some things in front of my children that I found objectionable, and then they attacked me.”

“You seem fine.”

“Oh, they never actually touched me. They’re rather poor at this bullying thing.”

“I don’t understand why they would choose to bully you.”

June felt a need to explain. “Papa was dancing with me and wearing my tiara, and those men called him a sissy. Papa is not a sissy. They know that now. He gave them their fate.”

With a deep sigh, Adam looked at Maude.

“You couldn’t keep her quiet even for a little while?”

“Adam, you know what she’s like. It was out of her mouth before I had any idea she was going to try to help.”

“I know. I’m sorry I snapped at you. We should probably have named her Josephine.”

The logic of that escaped June, who scrunched up her face in deep thought, trying to make sense of it. Robert smirked because he thought he already understood. He had heard enough stories about his Uncle Joe, especially involving his antics when he was a young boy. The comparison to his sister was remarkable. He could imagine the stories about his Uncle Joe and putting June in the stories instead. He started to get an idea about a book he could write. It would be a fictional book, sort of. He smiled. Ben noticed his smile.

“Son, your Robert has your smile. Does it make you worry wondering what he’s thinking?”

Looking over at his young son, Adam saw the smile too and the thoughtful expression on Robert’s face.

“I’ll talk to him later.”

Meanwhile, June had gone to her Uncle Joe to ask if she could ride with him.

“I heard that you have had amazing adventures. I want to hear about them.”

Candy and Hoss had to stifle their laughter as Ben held his grin to a minimum. Robert tugged on his father’s sleeve.

“Papa, may I ride with Uncle Hoss. I heard he was the wisest one. I want him to teach me when we ride. You said it’s a long ride. He could teach me a lot.”

Adam looked over at Hoss, who was beaming with pride even as he was a bit unsure about the responsibility.

“Hoss, at his age, you aren’t going to run out of wisdom to teach him.”

“I guess you could be right about that.”

Soon, June was seated next to Joe and Robert was next to Hoss. Adam and Maude relaxed behind June and Joe as Ben took the seat behind Robert and Hoss. Jamie and Candy rode leading the extra horses. The trek for home began.

That evening at dinner, Adam and Maude brought up their idea of a nanny and housekeeper to help Hop Sing because they needed someone to watch over the children. Ben insisted they didn’t need anyone. Adam told the story of the corroboree frog. He didn’t leave out any information. When he finished, he looked to his father. Ben nodded and spoke.

“We can ask Hop Sing if he has anyone in mind for the position. She could start within a day or two if he does. Let’s talk to him after dinner.”

Maude smiled at Adam as Hoss and Joe nearly spit out their coffee in their surprise. Ben decided to explain his position to his younger sons although the youngest, Jamie, didn’t seem surprised at all.

“They have made a compelling argument why constant supervision may be necessary. The cost will be minimal for the benefit we get.”

Jamie grinned.

“I think Pa is remembering all the trouble Joe got in when he was younger. I’ve heard the stories about all the times Adam and Hoss had to rescue him. Little June doesn’t have anyone to watch over her like that.”

Joe sputtered a bit.

“I didn’t get into that much trouble.”

Hoss, Adam, and Ben began laughing then. Hop Sing came out and grinned too. He already had a name. As usual, he had been listening.

“Mister Ben and Mister Adam, I have cousin who would enjoy this job, but there is new girl at the cafe next to the livery stable. I think she would be a good one too, and I think she could stay longer. My cousin is betrothed and could only work here until her marriage.”

Joe and Hoss perked up at that. Joe got the first question.

“Is she pretty?”

“She very pretty. She must be about, oh, maybe Mister Hoss’ age. She has had a difficult life.”

“What happened?”

“Mister Hoss, I think it is her story to tell if Mister Adam wants to talk to her about the job.”

The next day, Adam and Maude went to town with both children. Adam had asked if it was wise to bring them.

“Of course, it is. She needs to see what’s she’s getting into. If she meets June and is still willing to take on the job, then we’ll know she plans to stay.”

“Yes, that’s probably true. It’s better than having her quit after a couple of days.”

“Or one day.”

“Papa, Mama, why would someone quit because they spent one day with me?”

“Because my little Junebug, you can be quite a handful. You don’t like rules and break them at every opportunity. You do things without thinking about what you’re doing and sometimes put yourself and occasionally your brother in danger. That’s why.”

“I don’t do that every day.”

“Sometimes it seems like you do. You can be sweet, charming, and creative, but we have to be on our guard about other things.”

“I’ll try to do better.”

“Thank you.”

“So, do we still have to get this nanny?”

“Yes, we do. I think you’ll like having her around to help with all sorts of things.”

That was how it went too. June and Greta got along very well, and Robert found her a rich source of stories, and he loved stories. Together, the three of them would draw and paint. Greta and June would do various sewing crafts as well as other crafts. Robert and Greta shared a special project that she eventually divulged to Adam after getting permission from Robert.

“Did you know your son is writing a book?”

“He’s too young to write a book.”

“Maybe, but he’s still writing one. I’m helping him, but he’s doing all the writing.”

Pausing and thinking about all the requests for paper and ink he had been getting from his young son, and Adam was convinced.

“What’s he writing?”

“Mostly family stories he’s heard. He’s written a few I’ve told him too. The sentences are short, but he has a knack for describing things.”

“I would like to read what he’s written.”

“He would be proud to have you read his book.”

“I’ve thought about writing the same kind of book.”

So father and son began writing the history of the family, and stories were read from their books on every holiday. They were something that could be passed down to future generations. Joe was a little embarrassed by some of the stories, but Hoss pointed out that he was in almost every story and was the star in many of them. That made him more proud than embarrassed.

The inevitable happened too with Hoss and Greta. By being so involved in the lives of June and Robert on the Ponderosa, he fell in love with her and began courting her. By the time, Adam and Maude decided to move to Carson City to pursue some business interests and get more schooling for their children, they needed to find a new nanny too. Hoss and Greta were engaged to marry. Before they left and a few days before Hoss’ wedding, Hoss and Maude had a heart-to-heart talk when they walked outside after dinner one evening.

“Maude, I got a serious question I gotta ask you. I thought I loved you all those years ago. Why did you fall in love with Adam and not with me?”

Maude smiled.

“It was the way you looked at me. It was the way so many men there looked at me. You adored me.”

“I did. I would have done anything for you.”

“Adam looked at me with eyes that said he needed me. He wanted to be with me and share whatever was in my heart and mind. He wanted to share my life and have me share his.”

“That’s how I feel about Greta.”

Hoss understood then. He had loved Maude and wanted her, but his feelings had been shallow. Now he loved Greta with the same kind of deep commitment that Adam and Maude had. He smiled and nodded before he offered his arm to Maude. They walked back to the house.

 

Note: There will be more about Greta and about the Hoss and Greta romance in the next story.